Caray, Caray!

El Refrito de miércoles
All Viewerville is still basking in the glow of Ximena being b!tch-slapped by B!tchtoria (say what you will, but the woman made a couple of redemption points with that slap.) As the episode begins, we realize we will get to enjoy this glorious moment all over again. Ximena has walked in and is being snide to Maria and Fer. "Awwww how sweet, the slut hugging the crip." Maria kisses Fer tenderly and....THWWWAAAAPPPP!!!! Slaps the snot out of Xi. (We need a visual echo effect for that one...you've let us down Sr. Meh-jía.) That's so you learn to shut up, says Maria. We know the rest: cat fight, folks come running. Vic slaps Xi and tells her "¡María ya no Desamparada es mi hija! (cue echo machine)" Take that, Ximena!!! SQUEEEEE! This is why we keep watching.

La porción de hoy


The Aftermath
Xi is straight up impactada and still holding her stinging cheek. She says to Vic, so you're telling me she's your daughter?! She's part of the family? Enter Mush-Mouth Max with his lines. Xi continues to rage: I was your wife. I belonged to this family. I'm mumbledy in this place, not this slut, she's just your lover. Max tells her Maria has the right because she carries the blood of Victoria (cue the echo machine. If you're keeping track that's twice in less than 3 minutes.) She was separated from Victoria for many years. Vic smiles and it begins to dawn on Fer that she has a sister (Livia Brito: the other reason we watch this show.)

En la vecindad
Millie, Napo and Chente as they dine. FF>>

Pip is verklempt--Y'all get your tissues
Mama Mia! Princess! María Desamparada is the daughter and Vic for a mom. He "fuchi fuchi-ies" as he pushes Xi out of the way (which is like "ugh!" or "ick!" or I guess "get the hell out of here"in this context.) Fer wheels between mother and daughter and asks is this true? Is it true that María Desamparada is...my sister? And she reaches out her hand. Maria takes it. Vic answers. Yes, Fer. Maria Desamparada is my Pequeña María. The daughter for whom I cried so much. María cries. Fer cries. I cry. Give me a moment please. *sniff*

Xi bears her claws and Vic is in deep mierda
Xi-b!itch destroys a beautiful scene. Really? This ragamuffin (zarrapastrosa--only took 5 rewinds and a lot of wordreference.com research) is your daughter? Vic whirls on Xi- "Don't call her that again! Don't look down on her! (despreciarla)" Whoa, woman! Says Xi "You looked down on her first! You are the one that set me against her. You intimidated her. You were the one who suggested that I get pregnant in Miami because you wanted a grandchild!" She turns on Max "That's why I went to your bed. 'Cause your mother asked me to!" Max asks "Is this true?" María wants to know, too. "Is this true Señora?"

Vic confesses. "Yes. It's true." "Oh mom", Fer says. "How could you?" Now Vic explains. Just shut it honey. We don't believe your "I didn't know what kind of gal Xi was. I thought she would make Max happy" line of BS. Nope. Not a word of it. Max lets her know that she made him UNhappy. REALLY unhappy. Xi starts up again. "There you have it, the great Victoria Sandoval, the perfect mother. You knew what kind of woman María Desamparada was and that's why you condemned her." Xi really lights into Vic and reminds her about all the really mean stuff she did to María. Xi says Vic was just looking out for her own interests. And now Vic is telling her that she loves her like a daughter?! No one is going to believe that. Toni says Vic totally regrets all of that. Xi says it's all too late. Ask the slut. See what she says. Will she forgive her all those years of abandonment? The insults? Maria wants to know why it's Xi's business. Xi just keeps going. All this suffering at the hands of her mother. It's like Doña Bernarda says: It's God's punishment. María walks out. Max walks out. Fer cries. Xi stands there like the b!tch she is. Vic cries.

At Televisa
Press conference for the new TN. The return of Leonela Montenegro! Yay! (*muppetflail*...think Kermit the Frog everyone.) I'm pretty sure the new TN is called "Venganza de Amor. " Photo ops, some scene-stealing by Gui, Os takes it in stride. Gui takes advantage of the moment to invite the press to his modern production of Othello: Beso Mortal (Fatal Kiss.) TN producer is peeesed. FF>>

Are they serious?
Another plot line? Jebus. So Napo (he's still pollón by the way) has a daughter and he keeps her glamour shot picture hidden away (in Millie's apartment?) He's so lonely since she left. (I can't figure out if she's dead, but I'm thinking since we got to see a head shot, she's still alive.) Napo cries and monologues to a sugar cube. FF>>

At Casa Bernarda
Burnie talks with Luciano. They have to win this bienal (biennial exhibition.) She wants him to put all his creative mojo into winning. The money isn't what matters to her, she just wants to destroy Vic once and for all. Luciano is on board and Burnie doesn't have to worry, though he does want to know why it's not Eva giving the instructions as usual. Burnie says Eva didn't come 'cause she felt bad...she has a cold (I'm thinking "stone cold dead" is the better diagnosis.)

Oh Whew!!! Eva is still alive and whittling on some electrical wires and thought bubbling. Apparently her plan is to have Burnie die the same way her sister did. Burnie's gonna burn fo' shizzle.

We return to Casa Victoria Redux
Vic doesn't want to hear Burnie's name again. That woman made her life a living hell. Vic curses her and hopes she pays for all her evil. Xi says happy that they are all paying for their soberbía. She says the family is cursed and deserve everything that's happening to them. Fer tells her to shut up. Fer tells her to get out. She knew Xi was self-serving and never loved Max. Xi calls her a crip and is really a complete be-yotch...says Jardinero doesn't love her. Xi may not be able to have kids, but Fer has even less 'cause no one can really love someone like Fer. Fer says she may not have legs, but Xi doesn't have a heart or soul and that's why no one loves her. Xi flips...literally....she pushes Fer's chair over and knocks her down. Vic goes all THWAAP SLAP on Xi and tells her not to mess with her family. Pip has to pull Vic off Ximena.Vic is still going off--telling Xi she doesn't know how to be a mother; that she deserves all kinds of punishments. Xi says Vic deserves the same and that María Desamparada is never going to forgive her. Vic tells Xi to get out. Pip is still holding Vic back. Oscar drags Xi out. Fabian has picked up Fer. She thanks him and says she's fine. Lucy looks on. Fer is put back in her chair. Vic is blubbering. Fer is crying and wants to know why Vic never told her María Desamparada was her long-lost daughter. (Ya know, if we had been playing the drinking game tonight we would all be completamente borrachos...María Desamparada got said A LOT.)

Max and Maria: the usual stuff
Max enters the office to which María had fled. Their theme song fires up. Guess what: María tilts her head and sighs. They hug. Max says he knows María must be suffering because of what his mother did. María says she can't forgive her. Vic looked down on her and was the cause of their separation. She reminds Max he promised not to interfere and asks him to butt out. He says he can't. The two most important women in his life are suffering. Can't María see how much his mother is suffering? Vic is like a mother to him and he loves both of them. I miss a bit, but he ends by saying Vic loves her. María insists she can't forgive her until the final episodes.

Meanwhile, in the land of Televisa
Leonela is being interviewed for a TV entertainment show. The interviewer reminds her about the last time they spoke (After the desfile, remember?) Leonela says she was confused. Os has treated her very well and that she and Gui are kaput. Gui looks a little surprised by the news (and so does Os and so does the interviewer.) The interviewer says there's a lot of gossip about her disappearance from telenovela-land. He asks if she's going to keep it a secret. She thinks not. 'Cause if she keeps it a secret it will still come out sooner or later and she thinks it best if she confesses it herself.

Dr. Heri is settling down to watch some TV. It appears that Leonela's interview is being broadcast live. Because Dr. Heri is watching. He turns up the TV as she begins her tale. It was very sad what happened. She is an alcoholic and due to this illness she killed  a man (in Reno just to watch him die.) The crowd goes wild. She is surrounded by the press. Dr. Heri is glued to the set. She explains she was in jail for almost 20 years. She's paid for her crime. She's confessing because she is in some group and Alcoholic Anonymous and these groups have helped her find peace and put her on the right path. One of the steps she has to take is to ask forgiveness for all she's done. She asks Max's forgiveness; she came back for him. She wants to regain her dignity blah blah. Dear public forgive me...oh, and support me in my return. Talk about great press for your new projects.

Gui is also watching. He talks to him self and does menacing things with his tie.

Head Tilt and Mush Mouth and Pappy makes three
Maria says it was a mistake to come back to Casa Victoria Redux. She's out. Max stops her. Their theme song kind of drowns out any dialogue. They end up hugging as usual. She blah blahs about sacrifice, Alonso, how much she loves Max. Smoochies and the the song swells. PJP comes in. Door slamming will have to do since he doesn't have a hose to separate them. He looks kind of mad. María Desamparada he says...what is this? Soooo, what Alonso said about your engagement was a lie? PJP  says Alonso is shaky chihuahua excited that María has accepted him and now here she is smooching Max? PJP doesn't know what's going on. Max explains that he and María are making Alonso's final days happy. PJP asks for some clarification. Maria tells PJP Alonso is terminal (remember the word?: desahuciado) and we get a visual echo of his impactado state (no, no Meh-jía, visual echos of SLAPS!) Cue Volverte a Besar and cut to Alonso in his studio. Ternuras and sighs. He's going to do everything he can so María forgets Max. He's going to buy the engagement ring today! He will make sure they set the date for the wedding tonight.

Livia Brito has a great future in this biz
Fer asks if Vic is sure María Desamparada is her daughter. Vic has no doubt. PJP has known all this time, but couldn't share the good news because his mother had revealed it during confession. Vic discovered all on her own that she was her daughter thanks to a crucifix she had given to PJP. Fer doesn't see what that has to do with it. Vic says PJP is the baby daddy... the "hombre prohibido" (prohibited man) of her youth. Fer asks if MD knows about her dad. Vic says yes. She found that out first. Fer wants to know how Maria reacted to finding out that Vic was her mother (Livia Brito is really a great actress. She has this great facial expression like "am I going to have a for-real sister?") Vic tells her María didn't accept her. She rejected her. She doesn't love her. "Your sister doesn't love me." Fer promises to help her mother win Maria back. Count on her. She's going to do everything she can to see that MD forgives Vic.

Burnie settles a little fashion house business then heads out 
Xi is modeling Luciano's flapper dress and she and Burnie discuss Maria and Vic. Yup. María rejected Vic. Luciana asks if Burnie likes the design. Burnie likes the design, but the necklace is a disaster. She wants to know why no one in this office has any taste. Why does she have to do everything. Xi says she told Luciano that something more fine and distinguished was needed. A little more fashion prattle and Burnie excuses herself to go to church to--and I quote (in translation)--beg God that Maria never forgive that woman; that viper (since God is all into granting vengence to crazy people like Burnie.)

PJP denounces Operation Alonso
PJP can't wrap his head around what he's hearing. Does Alonso know he's dying? Er, well, no. Just Max, María and Dr Heri. It was Dr. Heri that confirmed that Alonso only has a few episodes left. PJP gets angry. Have they thought about what happens if Alonso finds out they hid his condition from him?; that they played with his emotions? María says they just wanted to make him happy. Well, if Alonso discovers the lie, he will be UNhappy.

Xi really gets around
Alonso is at the jewelry store asking for simple, yet elegant and pretty rings. Xi slithers up and asks if he's buying anything. He says nothing that concerns her. She takes offense at his attitude. She says he's obsessed with the past. He can't forget she aborted their baby. She tells him to forget it. She did. Does he think it was easy for her; that she isn't aware that she made the biggest mistake of her life and lost the opportunity to marry a guy like him? She makes an amorous move and he reacts as if he's been touched by acid. He turns to the saleslady and asks which one she thinks would be good for his Maria Desamparada. Xi lights up like a Christmas tree. She congratulates Alonso. She's so happy! She wants to help him shop for the ring. One of the rings the saleslady has displayed is the same ring Max gave Maria. Xi gets her scheme on and thinks it would be a lot of fun if Alonso gave María the same ring.

Xi sets to work convincing Alonso. He's a little iffy, but the saleslady seems to think it's the best ring, too. Alonso decides to buy it. Xi congratulates him again and says it's going to be wonderful surprise for Maria Desamparada. As she leaves, she thought bubbles about what an imbecile Alonso is and how "surprised" Maria is going to be.

Maria and PJP/Max and Vic
PJP tells Max he wants to talk to his hija alone. Oh, so know you call her hija Max snarls. What about when I was asking for her hand in marriage? María asks to be left a lone with PJP. Max kisses her before he leaves. Maria and PJP face off.

We cut to Pip, Toni and Oscar (and that annoying song) FF>>

Max and Vic are hugging. He asks about Fer. Vic says Fer is going to talk to Maria, but not now. Therapy and all. Maria's rejection really hurt Vic. She's afraid to be around María. She's afraid she's never going to forgive her. Max tells her not to say such things. Remember that Os, Fer and he will always be with her. Vic says she realized too late about things. She never thought about the happiness of others. If she hadn't stood in the way of their relationship, the road to María's heart would have been easier. Some mumbling and Vic finds out that PJP is talking to María as they speak.

PJP wants to talk to María about her soberbía. María is like "my pride?" PJP is like yup. She's being all judgmental and  acting like she's the only victim and she's not. He knows who is responsible for all this mess: his mother. She's the one that condemned Vic to pain and desperation. What María has suffered, Vic has suffered twice that. It's his mother's fault that she and Vic are at odds and separated. María says God won't forgive PJP's mom. He says it's true. His mother is excommunicated.

Padre Jer is the MAN!
Services are about to begin when Burnie sashays in. He asks where she is going. Burnie says she's there to pray for the souls of sinners. Padre Jer says he's sorry, but she doesn't have the right to enter the church. Juan Pablo already told her that, but she didn't want to pay him any mind. Today Padre Jer is going to give her a lesson she won't forget. Burnie asks what he's talking about. He grabs her arm and escorts her out. In front of the whole congregation!  He tells her this is her place...the street. He says not to try to enter the house of God again because she's excommunicated. If she does, he'll keep throwing her out until she understands. This scene is made all the sweeter because the congregation has followed and is watching it all! Burnie is all "what are y'all lookin' at?" Everyone but Burnie returns to church. She calls Gui and says she's just suffered the worst humiliation of her life. They have to get moving on their plan ASAP. They gotta get rid of those two!

Back to PJP and Maria
He's rehashing what we already know. Burnie is nuts and thinks she is God's avenging judge-on-earth. María says it must be hard having a religious nut as a mom...especially since he's a priest and all. PJP tries to make María see that Burnie condemned Vic and Vic never had a chance. María tries to make PJP see that the woman who has hurt her most in life was her own mother. C'mon María, it's not like Vic knew you were her daugher. Now you're holding a grudge. Just like....your mom. Anyhoo. Lot's of blah blah that boils down to PJP begging María to forgive her mother. Meanwhile Vic has come in...at the exact moment that María is saying things like "I can't stand her" and "I despise her."

Cue the Alonso montage-of-doom.

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