Caray, Caray!

Many thanks to all you clever commenters for tonight’s title.

I think we are all on Cloud 9 after Kari’s self affirmation announcement last night. I usually fast forward through the previous night’s repeat but I sure enjoyed watching this scene again. Let’s see how long our collective happiness holds out...

Lazaro treats us all with a victory cry for the ages. Rewind. Place another order for an XL I Heart Lazaro shirt to use as jammies. His yell scares the heck out of Manuela, (LOL, poor thing is always getting startled by the loud whippersnappers), and even Mati jumps. Lazaro hugs his way across the room, grabs Kari and passionately accepts her marriage proposal. Kisses and congratulations abound. We are still happy and in fact happier now than a few minutes ago.

Over in the DF Matias and Adri are ready for their announcement. He holds his princesa and announces to the adults that they are engaged. Adri flashes her boulder, the one on her finger I mean, and Matias tells Hons that they want to have a love like his and Cons, a love that lasts for all time. They make a toast (brindis) to love, “Por el amor!” Hons toasts to the women who have agreed to share their lives (existencia).

Kari makes Renata’s day by announcing it was Renata who opened her eyes, who convinced her that Kari was in control of her own happiness. She made a mistake marrying Doc Shouldbesharkchum and she has to forgive herself for that in order to have another chance. Nata agrees that one must forgive oneself in order to forgive others. Her wise daddy says forgiveness can’t get rid of the past but it can change the future. Jero brings out wine for toasting and Kari says Renata has been her inspiration. The way Nata has defended her own happiness in spite of everything has given Kari strength. Jero toasts to the happiness that has returned to La Bonita.

Gina and Berta are enjoying some mother/undaughter time. Gina gushes about the upcoming wedding and Berta skewers the mood by saying isn’t it curious how both Regina and Josephina fell in love with the same men? First her father Roberto and now her father Gonzalo. Gina was married to Roberto and now she’s going to be Gonzo’s THIRD wife. Oopsie, that last bit turned Regina’s smile upside down.

The doorbell rings and Regina comments it must be Inez coming to help her get ready. Berta, still basking in her successful role as wet-blanket-to-the-bride is not even annoyed. Yet. But here is a surprise. It is Jero and Renata come directly from the airport to help Renata get ready for the big day. Regina is thrilled that Nata and her sister will be helping her get ready and happiness once again bathes the room of smiles. However, one smile is merely sheep’s clothing and a bitter scowl peeps out out as Berta thought bubbles how sick she is that in spite of Regina believing Berta is her daughter, Gina continues to love Renata so much, grrr.

Taxi A-94-877 drives up and Fina, in yet another disguise, hops out. The taxista waits while Fina cheerfully saunters into the flower-filled church. She crosses herself, gives the Madonna and Child a backhanded wave, casually cases the joint, faces the M&C, gives them the “what the hell are you looking at?” face, and shrugs. Oooh, she’s bad.

Back at Regina’s, the happy crowd grows with the addition of Inez. Inez burbles about her foundation while Berta makes a sarcastic I-Hate-Goody-Goodies face in the background. Inez can’t resist sharing the info that Adri and Matias are engaged. Renata’s overexuberant glee startles Inez and pains Roberta dreadfully. Inez pronounces that maybe peace and happiness have finally arrived for them all. This really does bring a genuine smile to Roberta’s mug and she thought bubbles “If you only knew!”

A quick change of scenery brings us to the Ruta del Vino, Ensenada, B.C. Marina checks Uncle Padre’s health and he suggests she give up her house and move back in with him. She admits she’s been considering giving up the house but she’s thinking about returning to Mexico City because there’s nothing to keep her there. Padre is insulted, what is he? Chopped liver? He doesn’t like the idea of Marina and her child in the capital with nobody to help her out. She promises to return to the Valle de Guadalupe to have her baby. That way she can be near Uncle Padre and the baby’s father.

Carlos has his eyes closed and is waiting for his surprise. One - Two - Three - Open! Our little Mati is all dressed up in spike heels and a red power suit that would make Gloria Allred jealous. And no headband!! Carlos is in shock, “What did they do to you?” Mati tells him his mother did it to make her a deserving wife for Carlos. She totters and topples over to him and he begs “No, please, where is the Mati I fell in love with?” Mati reasons that Mama Mierda is in town for what, a day or a week? She can play the little game if it will make Mama M happy. Their background music is so loud I can’t hear what they’re saying but actions speak louder than words and Carlos lays a big lovely smooch on her, sigh. May I add an I Heart Carlos shirt to my order?

Regina’s attendants are, well, attending to her. Nata runs to the bathroom to get something while Inez comments she’s happy to see Regina with a man after all these years. She thought this moment would never arrive. (It sounded much nicer the way she said it, trust me.) Berta can’t believe it, all that time since her father died and no boyfriends? Regina says there was Antonio but otherwise all her time was spent looking for her daughter, finding her was the most important thing in Regina’s life. Roberta grins and thought bubbles “Ah Regina, you are so corny.” (cursi)

Inez sends Berta off to retrieve Nata who, at that moment, happens to stumble across the box holding the missing emerald necklace. Nata confronts her sister and Berta claims she only found it yesterday. “What, you don’t believe me? You think *I* would steal it?” Nata responds it just seems odd because Berta knew how important it was to her. Inez summons them in the background and Nata says they’ll talk later. “Gawd you annoy me!” gripes Roberta to the empty room. (Me chocas) She vows she’ll do something to end Renata’s stupid happiness.

Gonzo fusses with his boutonnière and deals with a case of wedding day jitters. Matias, looking extremely handsome in his tails, calms Pops and heads him out to the car.

Regina gazes sadly at Cata’s picture and wishes she could be there to give her blessing. She wishes Cata could have known the truth, that Antonio betrayed them all. Inez thinks Cata knows everything now that she is looking down from heaven, and that Gonzo is the perfect man for her. Inez says she’s not Regina’s mama, she’s more like a sister, but she’d love to give Regina the mother’s blessing. Inez gives the blessing and the two BFFs hug, cry and laugh.

It is a sunny day in the DF and the happy crowd gathers on the church steps. Renata and Jero congratulate Adri and Matias. Coni squeals that the bride is arriving. Regina steps out of the limo and looks beautiful even with those dopey feathery ribbon things in her hair.

Selena runs into Chema at a cafe and he actually recognizes her. He’s surprised to see her, shouldn’t she be at Gonzo’s wedding? Sele reminds him she and Berta stopped being friends ages ago, didn’t she tell him? He gets the thinking-too-hard headache, says he never knew, and promptly keels over with excruciating head pain. Sele screams for help.

Back at the church Regina walks down the aisle to her waiting groom. Oh wow, check out the backless wedding gown! She has an exquisite back; great choice by the wardrobe people. And there I was thinking the dress was just a bit puritanical. The camera pans to everyones happy faces...and Roberta’s bored yawns.

Let the ceremony begin. Say the vows, put on the rings, smile smile smile, Gonzo/Regi theme song, Thirteen Gold Coins, happy happy joy joy, communion, Ave Maria...STOP!! Back up! Gonzo looks slightly alarmed. Just who is singing Ave Maria? The camera scans the nuns and Oh. My. God. The voice of the angel is coming out of the mouth of Malafina. Not sure how Fina got the singing gig but you’ve got to admit it’s a nice touch. Gonzo is concerned, no doubt thinking “Nah”, but everyone else smiles and even comments on the loveliness of the song, so Gonzo shakes it off and relaxes his frown lines. As the song concludes, the dulcet tones are drowned out by the sound of a beating heart, and the singer’s angelic countenance is replaced by a satanic leer.

Back in Ensenada it appears that Augi has a chance encounter with Marina. After some informal niceties he gets to work. He says he thought Marina was a woman who liked to fight for her happiness, but the contrary seems to be true as she sent Renata right into Jero’s arms. She corrects him, what she wanted was Jero’s love, but it was not for her. He smirks that he thought she had more vision. “You thought I had more malice (malicia), like you,” she retorts. Augi says it seems Marina is a loser, while he on the other hand is a winner. She corrects him again, she’s not a loser but a realist, big difference. He says if she changes her mind and decides to go after what she wants she can look him up.

The ceremony concludes and Regina and Gonzalo are pronounced husband and wife. The full house applauds and gives a standing ovation. All except Boredberta of course.

A sweet nun tells Malafina that God has blessed her with such a voice. Fina slinks off to carry out the next phase of her nefarious plot.

The newlyweds succumb to peer pressure and make out on the church steps, surrounded by applause, “besos!” and happy family members. But the nun with the gun approaches. She pulls the weapon out of her disguise and shouts “This will be last time you kiss him, bitch!”

Everyone is frozen in shock. Fina takes aim. Nobody moves. She fires as Gonzo pushes Regina away. Did Gonzo get hit? But no, he stands up, horrified, and moves toward Fina. She shoots again and Gonzo falls. Roberta’s face says she didn’t sign up for this. People scream Papa! Papa! Regina is on the ground and Fina aims and shoots. More screams, this time for Regina. The camera pans back and we see both Gonzo and Regina are down. A perfect scarlet stain spreads out on Regina’s pure, white dress. She’s been shot in the stomach just above her right hip.

After being frozen for what seems forever the crowd jumps into action. They call the ambulance as Fina takes a few more wild shots in the air. There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth and every actor gets a turn at demonstrating grief. I think Matias might win.

Sister Malafina jumps into Taxi A-94-877. “Ocupado, ocupado!” yells the taxista, but Fina and the waving gun jump in. He was waiting for her anyway, he just didn’t know it.

Jero and Honorio jump into a car and they chase the taxi all over the DF. Fina keeps jabbing the taxist with her gun urging him to hurry! Hurry!

Back on the steps of death Adri calls for two ambulances, it’s serious! Right Away! Matias continues his award-winning performance. Oh my, even Roberta seems truly stricken by this turn of events.

I think the taxi gets trapped because it stops, Fina jumps out and starts firing at Jero and Honorio. She runs out of ammo and becomes the Nun on the run. Jero captures her and manages to hold her until the police arrive, cuff her and carry her off. No cops stay to interview Hons and Jero? Never mind, we have more important things to worry about now that the Nun is done.

Meanwhile, at the Only Hospital in the DF (OHDF), Chema has been admitted. It’s about time someone brought that poor boy in and who knew it would be Sele? She tells the doc she’s just a friend and she doesn’t know his family.

Back at the church Fina’s victims get loaded into the ambulances. The family members are hysterical and Nata keeps repeating “They’re not going to die. They’re not going to die.” Matias, Adri and Berta jump in with Gonzo and Renata goes with Regina.

Matias begs his father not to die, he must fight, they have a lot of things to do together. Please papa. Berta thought bubbles that this wasn’t part of the plan, she silently promises. “I love you papa. You were the first in my life to protect me, to really love me. Later I also found love with Rafael and she killed him too, blah blah blah. You’re my real father.”

Renata prays and cries over Regina. Gina opens her eyes and whispers “Renata, why? Why now when I’m finally happy?” She asks about Gonzo and Nata promises he is also on the way to the hospital. She tells Gina not to worry, weeps that she (Nata) is here with Regina and cries that she doesn’t want to lose Regina. Gina says she’s not going to die, she can’t die, she wants to be by their sides. Lots more crying and promises to be together.

Just when I think I can’t take anymore we get a blessed scene change back to the wine country. Kari and Laz excitedly make plans for their own wedding with a couple of pre-wedding PSAs thrown in. He can’t believe that someone like her could fall for an ugly swarthy guy like him. (He uses the word “negro”, not sure the exact intent but I’m guessing it means his dark hair and tanned skin?) Kari corrects him, he is the handsomest and best guy in the land and that’s why he’s held her heart for many years.

We rush back to the OHDF where the victims have arrived. Renata begs the staff for any sort of update on Regina’s condition. Seconds later Gonzo gets rushed through followed by her wailing siblings. She tries to comfort Roberta. They are sisters and that is much stronger than any of their differences. She grabs Matias and the three form a unit bound by Matias’s strong arms and Renata’s faith and will. They will face this together.

Jero calls Nata to give her the 411. Fina has been captured. (The police are taking Hons’s story in the background.) Nata says Gonzo and Regina are in the operating room but Gonzo is much worse off than Regina. Matias yells he has a bullet in the head. Jero tells her to keep calm and he and Hons will be there as soon as they can.

The siblings hug and cry, and what began as our happiest episode ends on this saddest of notes.


Avances: The doctor tells the family they have to prepare themselves for a fatal outcome (un desenlace fatal).


Vocab:
brindis = a toast, pledge
brindar = to toast
cursi = corny, but it can also mean pretentious, affected, tacky, tawdry
desenlace fatal = fatal outcome
existencia = life, existence
el perdon no quita el pasado, pero sí cambiar el futuro = forgiveness can't erase the past but it can change the future.
malicia = malice, wickedness
me chocas = you make me nuts, you annoy me, I hate you

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