Caray, Caray!

Good evening with thanks to Marshall McLuhan for inspiration on my first night with Una Familia Con Suerte. We present another week of two hour slots, oh goodie goodie. Some observations: the dialog is full of nonsense and slurred slang so I hope to give you better translations as I get used to it. But it is possible that it won’t make any more sense if I listen more times. Ahhhh. And secondly, when I googled Arath de la Torre, I found that he is a mere 36 years old, so for a change we have a character that is older than the actor playing him. Arath is actually quite handsome in his own hair. Last, as his image changes, Poncho dresses in better suits becoming a rival to Juan Soler for looking great and like Rocio Banquells, he can sing well in the ending crawl, but can’t find any recordings. So enough of missing CME, what’s up with Familia:

To review: Mara and Pina catch up on their lives. They are both so busy but Pina’s reveals her life is a mess. They drink wine to toast their very long friendship. Pina wants a very long feature article on her program but featuring Candi, as an exposé no doubt.

Pancho preps the family for the magazine shoot the next day. He wants to include the two maids and the dog as well as Chela and the kiddos. Candi leaves the table to prep for the next day so she can be adequately glamorous. Pancho warns the kids not to get into discussing politics or other controversies. This is going to show what a nice normal family they are…

Pina plies Mara with more wine to draw her into her proposal of an exposé of Candi but Mara assures her that they cannot do this kind of journalism but can only comment on her show Pina Opina. In short, Pina can be featured in two weeks but cannot have tomorrow’s issue because the director has put in a last minute important article that will take all the space. Mara leaves Pina wondering who could possibly be more important than SHE is?

Temo crows, so glad that Chela is back and home forever. One of the kids or is it Chaco who asks, what happened to the boyfriend. Well , he had to go home to Mommy? The lollipop popper(aka Chako) is invited to stay to dinner by the two flirty maids. Pancho speculates on the interview/shoot tomorrow. Next morning, Pancho is seen red shoed feet first primping and practicing his hair toss while calling on a cell phone. Then he really calls Rebe. He is so nervous about the interview that he might cancel but just then the maid says “they’re here!” Rebe says, too late to cancel and he should indeed enjoy the experience. They make googoo on the phone but I forget what inane words they used. Only the dog is wearing a proper collar and tie.

Rebe’s friend wonders why she won’t do the show with him especially after he asked her to be there. Rebe answers, because she has nothing to do with his family. Chela appears with the brats and they comment on how glamorous Chela looks. Lupe is sweetly virginal in white. Ana is clad notably in her accordian. The first photographers come in to put them on the stairs. Pepe arrives in patched pants which Pancho isn‘t too proud of. Chacos and one maid go for the other maid.

Enzo as a handsome young man without greased down hair washing cars is called on to comfort a longhaired faceless beauty wringing her hands while whining about her impossible problems that her parents are going to kill her for. He gallantly offers to help her. Oh Violeta, he sighs, she doesn’t want to be poor. Back to the present in his stylish livingroom, Enzo wipes a tear and denies to his daughter that he is crying and not talking to anyone either. But he does tell her he is thinking a lot lately about her sainted mother. Monica pulls loose as she kisses him and edges out the door. Again he sighs, she doesn’t know the truth. (I am wondering, is she his real daughter? And/ or is Enzo just not wanting to tell her of his former penury.)

Candi makes her entrance down the steps and immediately occupies the horn-rimmed eyes (aka the photographer/ogler.) Pancho says, but you came to photograph the whole family. He says okay but then I want to take individual pictures. They take lots of group poses. Pepe alone, the girls alone, Ana with band props, Lupe with flowers looking virginal but sexy. Pancho with Chela, ohoh. And Candi, Candi, and did I mention Candi. Temo with and without dog, both very cute. They want one with hands raised to the heavens with their familiar chant “una familia con suerte.” I would have loved to be the photographer on this shoot, great antics.

Next morning Pina screams at seeing the cover picture of the handsome Pancho Lopez gracing the magazine, (revista) Gente. (Gente is a real but Italian gossip magazine.) Vin freaks out at the attention paid to Pancho that ought to be divine-rightly his. Over at Pancho’s there are many copies of Gente so each can enjoy his own images. Everyone mostly likes the photos that were chosen. Candi squeals that they managed to get her best side, full frontal view. Back at Casa Irabién, Pina is pulling pictures out to throw on the floor especially of the beauty of Candela Lopez. Which Vince grabs and suddenly channels his Ticktock Doc who tried to cure his obsession. He secretly takes off up the stairs with the Candi pictures held in front of him. In his room alone, he’s cries that he is has reached his limits, the end of his sanity (cordura). His resolve to get over his Candi obsession is melting like cheap chocolate as he gazes at the “Gente” photos. She speaks from the magazine like a Harry Potter press release, I love you, she says, but she stops when he speaks back. .

At the office an irate Rebe shows Pancho the caption on the photo of him and Chela, “Here is Pancho Lopez the empresario at the side of his WIFE Graciela Torres, Chela walks in ever so joyful at this same misprint. (Where are the lawyers? Can you sue a magazine to retract such infamy?)

Rebe says well there is a lie in the magazine. or did you get married and not invite me to the wedding? Rebe and Chela grit teeth then Rebe stomps out. Chela grins and tries to baby talk to Pancho but he sets her back saying, stop, don’t make things worse than they are.

Spinning from office to house to house, Pina chastises Vin for enjoying the magazine. Candi is so happy with the beautiful pictures and coverage so she is looking forward to her new career that will surely lead her to Hollywood. Chela comes in and they are so happy together with their magazine debuts. Chela thinks she has won an important battle in the war to conquer Pancho and oust Rebeca. Candi gives questionable advise that Chela now has all in her arsenal of weapons including the total support of all the kids, her, Chela is almost convinced and we barely think of Rebe who happens to have Pancho’s heart.

Alex comes to see Pancho about his feelings for Lupe. Pancho plays stern DAD, saying Lupe is going to be really busy. He questions Alex’s motives but rather kindly.

The young receptionist in the lobby of Avon is drooling over the picture of Pepe when said Pepe comes in to help her enjoy his new fame. Monica comes out of the elevator to see him flirting receptively with reception. Pancho is still backing Alex into a twist, insisting that if he dares to hurt his precious treasure he will have to answer to him. Alex is trying to assure him of his good intentions. They shake hands but Alex is still shaking in his boots.

Pepe has to prove his love for Monica when the receptionist asks him how about that coffee you invited me to. He moves his arm deftly around Monica and says here is the owner (duena) of my heart, so sorry. Monica goes from pout to pretty smile hearing the sweet-tongued Lothario.

Ana isn’t happy which confuses Chela, while Candi says two boys love Ana. Here is something that Chela didn’t catch because Ana had confided in Candi but Ana is in a snit about something most of the time it seems.

At the recording studios, the cute band boy, Manuel, says he is the son who wants to see his dad. His plan to woo Ana is evidetnly going to lead to insider influence with his disbelieving dad. The secretary is amazed.

Rebe and Pancho continue to fight over why he didn’t straighten out the magazine people that Chela was his sister-in-law not his wife. He claims his hands aren’t the pilots. Rebe corrects his vocabulary and they continue on with the uncomfortable fact that Chela totally won this particular skirmish/squirmish. Rebe can’t understand why he always defends Chela. Because she is part of his family he defends. Some arguments only go in circles or slow spirals, like this one.

Vin, Enzo and Arnold whine over the great story with the photo showing Pancho floating in air, kicking up his heels with his great success. Vin and the boys take turns stomping the magazine on the floor.

Pina and Adoration who is combing Abeja talk. Pina asks what is the most important thing in my life? Your two kids, guesses Adoration? Yes but after that? Let me see, your program? Vin isn’t even a close third? Pina is convinced that her program is so intelligent and so important and helpful to women and how could this low life Candi compete with her. To bring down the level, blah blah.

Enzo can’t understand why Vin’s resolve to get over his Candi obsession is waning when they sent him to the best doctor. Vin says all he can remember are the cuckoos. Enzo is going to try to recreate the adversion therapy. He calls the picture of Pancho like a pig would pose while we get more Harry Potter style surrealism.

Pina says Candi’s face is pretty but vulgar. We know she would go on forever but when the bell rings she tells Ignoración to get the door and who should it be but Candi!!! Did you seem me in the magazine, she coos. What magazine, says an icy Pina, but Adoración gives it away with enthusiasm. Candi says she mentioned the Pina Opina but Pina shrugs and goes to change her clothes, continuing the cold shoulder routine.

A flower/balloon lady salutes Pancho on his article. He is so proud to show off his children who were raised well. She is so impressed but when he leaves she says but weren’t you going to buy flowers? Yes, he wants to take flowers to his love as hearts bubble out of his ears.

Elena tells Lupe she wonders how she gave her virginity to a fraud like Fraudie. How did you picture your fist time, asks the embittered Elena? Lupe tries to say something romantic but is cut off in her description when Elena says she is going to seek revenge from Freddie and bring him shame.

An old friend comes into Vin’s office. As they greet, the friend says why haven’t you invited me for a drink lately? Vin shows the article his friend Julio who agrees it is a shame this Pancho is getting all the attention. He will help. Vin’s dream is to get his feature article in a bigger magazine with more pictures with more pages, in a much more important magazine. He will stage an event that will be unforgettable. Julio swears he will help Vin get his just desserts.

Pepe and Monica his chaparita kiss and flirt openly now. She says now that she knows how kind and genuine he is, she can’t believe she wasted so much time on Fraudie.

Rebe talks to Fernanda on the phone about the Gente article and mostly her anguish that Chela was listed as the wife. She can’t help but feel fear in this love. I love him and I don’t want to lose him she tells Fernanda. Pancho hears her as he enters with the biggest, gaudiest red flower bouquet ever. Hearts and stars fly around.

Arnold has a good crazy idea to invite Bandolero (I might have imagined this is the name he said) to film Vin in his home and have all the press at there so that he can totally humiliate Pancho with how important he is. They are swooning at their own brilliant plans. These guys are such idiots but such enthused idiots.

Vin comes to Pancho’s house to invite him to his house at eight and invites Chaco too. How Chaco knows when to show up to get invited to dinners and parties, I can’t guess.

Alex comes into Lupe at the house presenting her a pot of white orchids. While the Lopez children are playing games on the coffee table including Elena and her brother Tomas. Pancho comes in followed shortly by Chela rushing in to suggest a delicious supper to keep them all attached to her, then recoils expecting him to say no he has something with Rebe but instead he says that they are all invited next door to Vin’s for an important meeting. They are all to go to the neighbors with him. Most of the children have no intention of going but Elena looks very interested at this invitation to an audience giving flame to the previews.

At the Villa de Abeja, with classical music and Adoration serving proudly, the photographer comes in to get shots with Enzo and Arnold, Vince and Pina and Vince and Abeja in the pictures. (And some woman?) Pina asks Adoración why she is dressed like an easter egg. Pancho comes in with Chela dressed like a normal person in 4 inch spike heels and a tight sheath. Vin wants to present his friend Julio to Pancho who is so important they call each other hermanos from school. Julio is pushed and patted until he loses his toupee but he gladly poses with Pancho while Vin grabs something at the bar. The photographer keeps getting Pancho shots while Vin then steps in front but Pancho steps up and they begin a Marx Bros. dance of upstaging. l

Simone says so you are the famous Chela, she then adds, of the Opina show. Pina is put out at the almost stolen attention going to Chela and by reference Candi.

Enzo and Monica have their usual argument over why she won’t pretend to be the girlfriend of Fraudie at least for the press pictures. She tells Alex she is up to here with this farce (harta) .

Back at the card game, Tomas and Pepe play with Temo. Lupe goes to look for Elena who has disappeared. And she has to tell Temo in code that Elena is sick from the trip to Brazil and she says that is really why Elena wants vengeance on Freddie . .

Pancho continues to get the lion’s share of attention from the media and photographers to Vin’s Arnold’s and Enzo’s group chagrin.

Pepe gets an idea of where Elena has gone and rushes out leaving the kids and Candi open mouthed.

Vin cuts off the media lovefest event for Panxho. He assures Pancho that this is HIS night. Vin and Pancho square off, what else is new. (I can’t catch half of the uzzi speed slang but it probably doesn’t matter) He repeats what Vin has interrupted the photographers, cutting off the filming and photographing like he was a director. The shoot out is who is more important and is the Para Vida (whatever is it called) it is so important. Televisa captures the entire crazed scene. Of Vin threatening to pound and break Pancho’s gold teeth. (we can’t wait to see the edited version on tonight’s Televisa evening news. Fernanda will be so proud of them.)

Pina tries to fix the situation by wanting to know which nacos invited the brutes from next door. Chela steps up and insists that Pina cannot speak of her family like this. They close in when the kids show up including Candi who gets Vin’s attention in her drop dead beautiful dress.

Elena grabs the microphone and declares that she is expecting a baby and the father is none other than Freddie! Pina takes sonny by the collar and demands that he deny this cheap woman (mujerzuela’s) claim. He can’t. She faints in Freddies’ arms. Tomas tries to help Pina then Tomas tries to get to Freddie and Pepe (Jose tries to stop him. Poor old Julio rescues his precious rug over by the drinks. Arnold and Enxo reconvene. Then the doctor comes, actually Abeja’s vet. He tries to revive Pina while Vince tries to tell Candi how beautiful she looks. She is driving him crazy. Don’t get close to me, she says back. Pancho orders all his tribe to go home. Enzo and Arnold throw more insults on the barbarians and Chela finds her tongue again Something about nacos words falling on deaf ears. Elena repeats her demand that Freddie own up to his paternity. Pina faints at the idea of a bastardo in the familia, comes to and pretends to faint again. Candi and Chela try to get Elena to shut up and get over to their house. While Tomas circles around and gets a great punch squarely on Freddie’s smirky face. Pepe follows threatening to hit Vin and Pancho gets his group rounded up to leave including Elena. It’s a huge dance number done in slo-mo.

Alex asks Lupe why she didn’t tell him about this Freddie/Elena thing but she swears she just now found out herself. Pepe and Monica talk, he wants to get out and she says she has nothing here she wants to come with hm. They go over to his house.

In front of the fire, they talk of naco Freddie and how she can’t imagine she ever considered marrying him. How could Elena want his child. She is sad for her father something is happening to him lately but she wants to go faraway from everyone. Pepe asks, everyone even me. No I want to go with you. Where? To infinity. Lets go!

The family jury is in session in Pancho’s other room where they press Elena. Are you really, really pregnant? Tomas wants to know why she wasn’t careful. Elena is upset that no one seems to believe her. Pancho says the way to prove this is to take a test. She starts to put up a fuss and they assure her they are on her side and they will take her to be tested. Ana is upset (what else is new) so Lupe consoles her realizing that Ana is just finding out what a bastardo Freddie is. Candi says is something happening Ana? She is crying but says nothing.

Pepe and Moni are in a cab going to infinity evidently. Tomas, Ana, Chela, Candi and Pancho continue to discuss the revelation. Tomas wants to take Elena home but Chela says leave her alone to rest. Pancho wants to go out for air. Chela wants him to stay but he insists he needs to clear his head.

Infinity turns out to first be a bus station. Monica is determined to get away for several days. Pepe gets a cell call from papa in his truck wondering where Pepe is he is concerned but is okay with his son being with Monica. They go up to a ticket agent get a ticket to ? There is a bus leaving in half an hour and they flirt and kiss waiting for the bus to infinity.

Vin and Freddie finally discuss what really happened in Brazil. Freddie for once sincere thought she was and easy girl so invited her to Brazil and it turned out that she was actually a virgin.

Ana cries to Lupe that if Elena was telling the truth she has lost Freddie forever. Lupe reminds her softly that the truth is Freddie was never hers to lose..

Vin is mostly screaming that he can’t believe that Freddie impregnated a woman whose brother is a mere plumber. Freddie says well he did.

Pepe walks Monica with eyes closed into a hotel room with flowers and candles and sparkling star lights. A saxophone player a la Kenny G plays soft jazz riffs until Pepe motions him away. The sign in the room says “Little siren welcome to the sea,” We are left with the romance but not a clue of where they really are. Must be a seaside resort. The Televisa site notes say he has prepared this haven of love in the Valle de Bravo. We leave them in sparkly candle light with champagne, flowers and showers of kisses. Oh Enzo…. Oh Pina….

Next day we see visions of many, many, many confrontations. But what did you expect?

Labels: familia