Thursday, February 09, 2012

El Talismán #9 Thu 2/9/12 Bloviate /ˈblōvēˌāt/ Verb:Talk at length, esp. in an inflated or empty way.



Are you wondering about the word of the day? Well if you watched tonight’s episode you heard more bloviating in one hour than others hear in a lifetime.

Redux: Antonio tells Doris he would divorce her to marry Camila Najera.


Tonight:
The rapid-fire mumble-mouth team of Fab and Flo talk about mom, who pretends to be a deprived shut-in during the weekends, but instead she sneaks out to who knows where. Other chisme, Aunty Loo has the hots for Pedro of El Tal. The girls gleefully giggle that gramps will absolutely KILL her, hee hee. Works for me.

Lookrazia stalks one of the poor housemaids Alberta. She tells Al that her trip to Europe changed her a lot. Um, no it didn’t; you're wearing the same clothes and hair style and you haven't matured a bit. LooKrazia tells a nervous Alberta that she wants them to be friends. Loo says Al will be her “personal assistant” and find out everything that is going on at El Tal, otherwise she’ll get sacked.

Fab and Flo gossip about everything we already know, gramps hates Pedro, Pedro doesn’t seem so bad, Auntie Loo wants to boink Pedro and if he loves another then Auntie Loo's gonna KILL her. Girlish giggles. They repeat this exact conversation in another scene.

Camila and Genoveva check out their Alcatrash digs which look pretty nice, except Camila says Los Negrete are creeps and the daughter LooKrazia is worse than a viper. Quite an insult to vipers I would say.

Pedro tells Tia that he’s going to halt his love for Camila, but Tia says when it’s really love you can’t stop it, better to go for it, “Talk to her.” Pedro says that hasn’t worked so far. He’d be better off going after a dame who doesn’t have vengeance on her mind, skankster LooKrazia for example.

LooKrazia shocks Alberta by revealing that not only is Camila in Fresno but she’s staying at Alcatrash. But enough wasting time, she wants Alberta to visit her friend  Domitila and find out everything she can about Pedro. Alberta observes that Loo hasn’t really changed much at all. LooKrazia vows that her plan will work out perfectly.

Loo gives Alberta an envelope to deliver to Pedro. She instructs Al to NOT tell her nieces who are the worst gossips in the world. I’m not sure why this matters since Loo can’t stop flapping her own yap around the girls but whatever.

Camila unpacks and works herself into a tizzy telling Genoveva about Pedro’s kiss. Yawn. How can he tell her he loves her and be going out with LooKrazia at the same time? Geno suggests talking to Pedro. What a novel idea.

Tia nixes the LooKrazia idea and tells Pedro to act with his heart not his head. No doubt because there is a lot more going on his heart than in his head.

Oh man, enough of the teeny-bopping Greek chorus already. Here they are again on the ugliest bedspreads ever made and this time Fab wants to sneak out to see some of that forbidden avocado fruit from El Tal. Flo is worried but Fab titters that mom’s hiding something too. Something BIG. Giggle Giggle. Notice how they always giggle whenever they talk about sticking it to someone?

Camila and Genoveva are having the same conversation again, this time thankfully interrupted by a knock on the door. Instead of the drunky hunky Antonio it’s Valentin who creepily asks if everything is fine. Camila whines about them forgetting her blow-dryer and Valentin mentions that someone at the hotel told him about charging her card for the breakfast they ate. Funny, she says, they never ate breakfast. She’ll check it out tonight when she goes for her dryer. Valentin leaves, smiles to himself and triumphantly exclaims “Listo!” which I take to mean "Score!"

Antonio and Doris argue about Camila being on the premises. Tony snarls that his Papa invited her, so there. He drunkenly says he’s not interested in an affair with Camila, he wants to marry her. Doris tries to slap him and he says, “don’t hurt yourself” and hurls his whiskey on the floor. The house must smell great the way he flings booze all over the place.

Thirty seconds later Antonio has just about finished a beer outside. He tells Valentin their plan is going to work perfectly. If LooKrazia does her part, when Camila shows up at the motel tonight she’ll hate Pedro. Valentin wants to tell Gagorio that Camila’s in town but Tony nixes that idea. If dad finds out he’ll fire her and Tony needs Camila under his roof so he can conquer her. He yells and the beer flies around. Tony says soon Pops is going to lose all his power so Valentin had better be on Tony’s side. Tony kindly points out that at Valentin’s age it would be hard to find work so he’d better obey. Soon the whole world will know who Antonio Negrete is! I think the world already knows. He’s the desultory, scowling hottie with the laughably big belt buckle who shoves gym socks down the front of his pants and drinks all day.

Tia asks Pedro AGAIN if he’s going to talk to Camila. He says tomorrow, and why is that spy from Alcatrash at El Tal? Inside the kitchen Alberta gives the envelope to Domitila to give to Pedro. She says the thing between Pedro and LooKrazia is causing all kinds of problems over at Alcatrash.

Domitila calls Tracy to tell her Camila’s back in town. Tracy says she’s going to plan to do something with Camila.

Good Lord how many times are Tia and Pedro going to have the same conversation? One more time it looks like. This time Tia adds that Pedro should tell Camila he paid them for El Tal. He says he didn’t want Camila to know. Tia pretty much tells Pedro he’s a huge dope and he should tell Camila ASAP.

Camila’s thought bubbling to herself ad nauseum about Pedro and Loo when Doris blasts through the door, demands to know why Camila wants to steal her husband, and lets Camila have it right across the cheek. (Did anyone else think that was Genoveva at first? It’s hard to tell these skinny raw-boned chicks apart.) She demands an answer and gets one. Camila slaps her back, hard, and says it’s not her fault Antonio is sick of Doris and chasing skirts. OMG, I just realized something besides a conversation just happened. We’re almost halfway through folks and we had our first bit of action. Catfight! Bring it on.

“No hay peor lucha que la que no se hace.” There is no worse fight than the one that isn’t fought. This was the only thing worth hearing in yet another interminable conversation where Tia tells Pedro to Talk To Camila. Pedro starts to go upstairs; dare I hope this 30 minute conversation of four sentences is over?

Elvira and Armando are cheerfully working at Starbucks in Davis. Psych! Did you believe me? I didn’t think so. Elvira and Armando are sitting around doing nothing except to complain that Camila hasn’t called them. They agree to go to Fresno to surprise her. It’s hard to imagine these two wiping their butts much less planning a trip to Fresno.

Doris accuses Camila of trying to land the son of a millionaire. Camila tells Doris to lay off, she’s always hated Antonio because ever since she’s met him all he does is try to proposition her. (Perhaps not the wisest thing to say to a furious wife.) Camila insists it’s not her or any woman’s fault if Doris can’t keep her own husband. Aw Camila, now look what you did, Doris is gonna cry. No llores, Doris.

Lord help me, Tia and Pedro are back in the living room AND STILL TALKING! Did I accidentally rewind? Same subject, same sentences.

It looks like Doris believes Camila, but she says Camila’s rebuffs only fuel Antonio’s fire. Now that Camila is living there he wants a divorce. Doris says she’s done all she can to keep Antonio, but he just doesn’t love her. Camila asks if Doris has done anything to piss off Antonio, like cheat on him for example? Doris gets all guilty-looking. “Moi?” she says. Camila’s cell buzzes and it’s Mama, griping because Camila’s been busy. Elvira is further annoyed because Camila hangs up, saying she’ll talk later.

Inside the house Antonio sees LooKrazia and pours himself a couple of shots of tequila to celebrate the success of their plan. They’re going to win the battle!

Tia and Pedro, seventh verse, same as the first.

Doris tells Camila that Tony’s hated her since the day they were married because she was pregnant and Tony was convinced she got preggers to trap him. They were very young, six years old actually, which explains why they look slightly older than their daughters. (I made that last part up.) Camila observes that Tony acts more like their BROTHER than their father. Don Gagorio forced Antonio to marry Doris and her rich family.

Antonio’s sisters, er I mean daughters, scamper in to beg if they can go visit a friend. Dad says fine, he’ll drive them now that he’s in a better mood after slamming down a whiskey, a beer, two tequilas, and now another whiskey, probably two, and God knows what else. As dad staggers out bumping into the chair, the girls fret about having to lie to him to meet up with the young studs. In his condition I'm not sure dad will notice much.

Claudio and Gabriel are working! They’re carrying bales of hay! Just then another young unknown actor runs up and gives his best shot at the performance of a lifetime. Who knows what talent scouts might be watching
El Talismán? (Answer = none) He’s got a message from the girls and they want to hook up at the ice cream parlor in an hour. What? They can leave in the middle of working? Were they just pretending to work? (Answer = yes)

Camila begs Doris to leave her alone. Doris leaves, but not before pleading with Camila to stay away from Antonio. “I’m in a house full of nut jobs,” observes Camila.

A new character. He’s reading the paper and says “Susana Bettencourt, how interesting.” I guess Tracy works for this guy, Mister Renato. I don’t really get what’s going on in this scene except that Tracy has been working for Mister Renato and he hasn’t paid her in a long time. He’s going through a rough patch but he says his luck is about to change. I would be thrilled if anyone else can add anything because there’s definitely something odd about Mister Renato. I think he might be some kind of con man who hooks up with rich women for their money. He and Tracy banter back and forth about how Mister Renato should treat the poor women better and Tracy should show a little more respect to him.

Tony drops the girls off in town. They scamper away, giggling that grandpa would kill them if he knew. These two have a very limited vocabulary.

Tracy tells Mister Renato that she’s off to see an old friend. She pulls out a pile of letters, presumably the ones she was supposed to give to Camila years ago. They’ve been in a drawer all this time? She rushes out and one letter drops to the floor. Gosh, I wonder if it could be The Letter? Mister Renato picks it up and sees Pedro Ibarra’s name on it. Isn’t he the owner of El Talisman?

Domitila brings LooKrazia’s letter to Pedro. He reads that LooKrazia is desperate, she had a huge fight with dad because she defended her love for Pedro. Dad beat her and kicked her out of the house. She has no where to go and needs his help. She knows Pedro hates her but if he could just loan her some money she’ll go far away and never return. Please meet her at the only hotel in Fresno.

Antonio and LooKrazia reconvene to gloat over their plan. The only problem is that Loo told Pedro that dad beat her so she needs Tony to give her a smack. “Hit me, pretend I’m Doris, hit me!” she taunts in an overtly sexual manner. He comes close but recoils. “I’m not as crazy as you,” he snorts. She thinks he’s a damn coward.

Flo Fab are with the boys, griping about the tension at home. Claudio tells Flo that it doesn’t make sense to continue hiding how they feel. Will she be his novia? Flo frets, no can do.

Camila waits until darkness to go to the only hotel in Fresno. She tells Genoveva that upon reflection the Pedro/LooKrazia pairing doesn’t make sense after all. Bwahahaha! Cue the anvils.

About that time Pedro shows up at the hotel looking for LooKrazia who is waiting in the lounge. She tries to look all hang dog and he looks sceptical.

Mister Renato can’t stop wondering about the letter. This Pedro has lots of money, he thinks. He locks the door and opens the letter. Guau!! This check is for a fortune! Who in the heck is Elvira Najera? He smiles, “She will be my next conquest.” I like this Mister Renato. Am I just a cockeyed optimist or are things looking up?

LooKrazy takes Pedro’s hands and weaves her tale of perfidious woe. She’s all doe-eyed and sucking up to him, getting him in the mood with some hand reflexology. Just then Camila and Geno show up and decide to wait in the lounge while Cam's blow-dryer is retrieved. But Loo’s been waiting in ambush and the moment Camila walks in Loo grabs Pedro’s face and inhales him.


Pedro’s kissed and Camila’s pissed.

Avances: More caveman action, bring out the ibuprofen.

Labels:


Comments:
I'm tired and it's late. Dear commenters, please let me know if I've made any errors in translation or got any names wrong or anything at all. Thanks!
 

Sylvia: I started smiling at "bloviating" and by the end, was laughing out loud. "Seventh verse same as the first", "It’s hard to tell these skinny raw-boned chicks apart" and "Who knows what talent scouts might be watching El Talismán? (Answer = none)" were clever and made this an excellent read. Wonderful recp as always.

I don't watch diligently but has Tony been in any scene where he didn't drink? Last night he slammed "down a whiskey, a beer, two tequilas, and now another whiskey, probably two, and God knows what else." And then he takes his children in his car. Lots to loathe here.

Sylvia, you captured my feelings with a few of the best lines. Ever. "Soon the whole world will know who Antonio Negrete is! I think the world already knows. He’s the desultory, scowling hottie with the laughably big belt buckle who shoves gym socks down the front of his pants and drinks all day." Most excellent.

Thank you for the wonderful recap that far outshone the episode Sylvia.

Happy Friday all1

Diana
 

Sylvia, you are on fire!! i felt exactly the same way with the repeat lines of tia and Pedro... were the writers on strike and the producer decided to have several takes of the one page script they had?
by the way the new character actor is none other than Braulio Castillo Jr (the Sr did Simplemente Maria in Mex in 70s and also a Puerto Rico version of Corazon Salvaje that they called Juan del Diablo). he also did several movies in Mex, incl 'El cielo y tu' with Iran Eory... he was a lead male in mex movies and novelas for a while there... son has not been that popular though.

but back to your recap... i am still LOL'ing re-reading it. love your finale 'Pedro kissed, Camila pissed'... that sums it up nicely...
and we heard more details of the story of Doris and how she got to the Negrete family... her family DID have money and the parents arranged the marriage, and she was young and smitten by Tony... just like i thought.
 

Is Renato going to pay Elvira with the same games she played on other men? is she going to be on the receiving end of the 'deceive for the money' script?
The check is written to her, so he would have to conquer her to have access to the money... so i think it will play that way for sure.
i remember in Cafe same thing happened to that slimy Miguel in the end... the woman he targetted had targetted him at the same time, both pretending riches looking for next rich bank account.
 

Thanks for this rollicking recap. I love how you are able to capture the subtle nuances of each character.

Adding to the odd relationship between Tracy and Mr. Renato, she bakes and sells things like empanadas to help support him. He admits that he owes her. She thinks that he may be getting a bit old for his line of work which seems to be wooing and fleecing rich women. I like where this is going.

I like that even though he doesn't ordinarily drink Tequila, Antonio will make an exception to annoy his dad.

So has Margarito dropped out altogether to concentrate on his drinking?

Carlos
 

Diana: apart from where he accused Pedro of murdering Mariana, if memory serves Antonio has only been completely sober (that is, sober and without a drink in either hand) in only a few scenes in this show. I think you can count them on both hands and still have fingers left over.

"Seventh verse, same as the first." Combined with all the other weirdness from the first five episodes--is anybody else getting the idea that the writers/monkeys with typewriters/etc. are trying to apply U.S. soap opera sensibilities to this novela (and failing)? Passions was hardcore about the endless discussions about one topic, for instance...
 

Sylvia, this was wonderful (and yet probably a bit painful to watch, no?) I have to agree with Carlos's comment from yesterday that this could be the worst TN ever but remember FELS was also a bad TN that caused the recappers and commenters to soar to unprecedented heights of hilarity. I'm so in!

And many of your lines were fun too. I chortled at your description of Tony (that Diana noted).

I'm thinking Camilla's observation about Tony being more a brother than father to "his" girls is TRUE as most mammals have more subtly than our writers.
 

Oh my - first always thank you for an excellent recap.

Worst TN, after last night's episode I said that to myself, did not think anyone would agree, but I see most of you do. This is supposed to be from the writers of Eva Luna, did Univision interfere, what happened here? It's been the same routine she gets angry tells him off, he smacks her on the lips.

I've assumed we have not seen much of the "Dad" because of the beating of a woman, and now they want to play it safe, but damage was done.

Too bad, I've never seen the actor who plays Pedro before and to me he's hot, but this TN is putting me to sleep. I just wonder what happened to make this so bad.
 

nelly these links on Rafa Novoa:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3Uu9nFtDIE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDDiXzROGcE&feature=related
warning, 2nd link is beginning of final ep of Pura Sangre, the very last section of that final ep is what i meant to point to, just dont have that link with me and can't get to youtube to get it.
 

Could Tony have a goal to get rid of Pigorio soon enough to become the 'owner' of El Alcatrash?? could he be THAT selfish and evil?
that would give the writers the excuse to get rid of the Mariana beater... but would that happen soon?
 

Sylvia!! I love your picture of our 'avocado'!! LOL!! perfect!
 

Lovely, Sylvia, and extra thanks for pushing through the being tired to get this up for us. "Bloviating" Such a perfect word, particularly in a presidential campaign year! Thanks for that; I'd not heard that word for a long time.

Seemed to me that last night was also a cliche night, and Lookrazia "inhaling" Pedro just as Camila walks in was the cliche de resistance, the stale cherry on the melted sundae, so to speak.

Feeling more sorry than ever for Gregorio o/a of his crappy children, D-I-L and grandchildren. If they'd move out, why, I should think don Gregorio would repent his sins and work with children and give back to his community and re-build his self esteem.

As if.
 

btw, the woman in those videos of Pura Sangre IS Marcela Mar, here playing 'bony' Doris.
 

Good morning all! Last night hit a new low on repeat conversations, that's for sure. My head started pounding every time Pedro and Tia popped back up on the screen.

Diana, not watching diligently? Thanks for watching at all. Believe me I would have been doing a lot of fast forwarding last night had it no been my recap night. As it was the last line probably would have sufficed.

So yes Karen, a bit painful. But Mister Renato and Tracy perked me up.

Bill C. I do remember watching Passions for a while. I recall American soaps do/did have a tendency to bloviate. I really hoped that trend wouldn't be contagious but now I'm worried.

Marta, oh my, I just watched the first link and my cup of tea is boiling over. So Rafael Novoa CAN be romantic and he DOES have more than one facial expression. What's going on here? Is he just so bored he's on automatic?

Nellie, I read that Venevision also did Acorralada, another famously bad telenovela. Some people learn from their mistakes, others practice them and get better at it (as my old piano teacher used to say).

Carlos, thank you for the added info on Mister Renato and Tracy. I, too, like where this story line is heading. And Marta says Mister Renato is a famous actor. I'm hoping he'll ratchet things up. I like Marta's idea about Renato and Elvira both trying to sting each other.

Mike, I just read Griftopia by Matt Taibi, had to have a dictionary next to me, that's where I picked up bloviate. Yep, had to do with politicians but I added it to my TN cheat sheet because I just KNEW...

OK, I'm off to watch Marta's second link. I hope it's as sizzling as the first.
 

Sylvia, thanks so much for a scintillating recap -- and due to your warnings, I was able to skip through the first 22 minutes (YES: TWENTY-TWO) and start with the slapfest. (I did happen to notice while FF'ing that Pedro can raise one eyebrow, which earns him even more telenovio points from me.)

If I listed all my favorite lines, this comment would be as long as the recap, so I'll limit myself to the prizewinners:

"Sneaking out to see some of that forbidden avocado fruit from El Tal..."

"Elvira and Armando are cheerfully working at Starbucks in Davis. Psych!"

"It’s hard to imagine these two wiping their butts much less planning a trip to Fresno."

"Did I accidentally rewind? Same subject, same sentences."

"They were very young, six years old actually, which explains why they look slightly older than their daughters..."

What a hoot!
 

Renato knows Pedro is the owner of ElTal... could he have been there at that poker birthday party?

and Tony... spitting/squirting whiskey, beer and tequila all in the course of one episode!! boy the guy can switch drinks like he can switch women!! I agree, with all the alcohol squirting the place must be very stinky stinky!
 

Pobre Sylvia, having to recap this mierda. So far I think this is even worse than FELS, is that possible? I'm not getting much out of it, it's just marking time until Podia comes on.

How many of the TN cliches have they used so far? Last night is was the slapping between Doris & Camila, the setup kiss between Pedro & Lucrecia. I could never figure out how that happens with the woman as the aggressor, the guy can't back away, turn his head, push her away?????

Where is poor Mariana, my favorite character since we don't see her.
I thought in the avances a few nights ago she turned up????
 

Oh Sylvia, this was prime stuff. Here we are, in Nation Bloviation. And as usual, the best things happen the morning after the night before -- like your hilarious recap!

Did you notice the Troll had the night off? Maybe they sent him off for mowing, er, I mean waxing.

Or maybe now that the cast has had a chance to see how they far they have been led astray, he, Margarito and Mariana met secretly to plan their venganza against the production team.

(Love your new avatar, by the way!)
 

Sylvia, Braulio Castillo Jr has done some telenovelas, but his father, Braulio Castillo is the well known novela celebrity in Mexico and PR from the 60s and 70s mostly. The son, not so much.. but he has done some.
 

Ooo la la! And right in my generational wheelhouse!
 

here is what imdb has on him.
Braulio Castillo hijo followed his famous father's footsteps as a romantic leading man. First in Puerto Rican TV through its popular soap operas and then Mexico and Miami. He's a very recognizable name in Spanish-speaking TV
he was in El Fantasma de Elena and in Aurora and Duena y Senora.
his father was in a ton of stuff.
juan del diablo was in '66. by '72 he had moved to Mex and was doing one after another there, incl Simplemente Maria...
funny thing they are crediting the father (not the son) with the El talisman listing LOL!
 

Marta, just watched the second link, and also another part of the Final. It wasn't as sexy as the other but it showed there is a lot more chemistry between Rafael Novoa and Marcela Mar than there is between him and Blanca Soto.

Oh right, thanks for clarifying about Braulio Castillo Jr. I still like him and he still seems a notch above, not that it would be hard. Good casting though. He looks like an aging gigolo.

Karen, at least FELS had those nutty baker brothers that kept showering and swimming naked together. It was some decent eye candy. Maybe the men at El Tal should start taking daily dips in the limpid pool?

As some of you have pointed out, last night was blissfully Gagorio-free. I do thank the telenovela gods for that.

NMaven, "Margarito and Mariana met secretly to plan their venganza against the production team." Yes!! I love it.
 

here is couple pix (first two) of Braulio Castillo Sr, maybe someone would recognize him if you have been a novela watcher that long.
http://www.network54.com/Forum/223031/message/1040424913/%2A%26quot%3BSimplemente+Mar%EDa%26quot%3B%2A%28Per%FA%2C+1969%29%2A
 

BRING ON THE LIMPID POOL. WE WANT THE LIMPID POOL.
 

LOL... about the pool.
 

Braulio Castillo Jr played Aurora's father. He looked very authentic and authoritative in his white lab coat.

Don't ever watch this program during a migraine.
 

Sylvia..gulp..that picture of the avocado is...well, it's got me thinking. Lordy girl!

Great recap. So glad I missed the show. Liked how you characterized Pedro as having "a lot more going on in his heart than his head".

And as others have noted, your description of Antonio, "who shoves gym socks down the front of his pants and drinks all day" is sheer genius.

Let's all pray that they move this dreck to midnight, and you all can recap from dailymotion and fast forward thru 9/10 of it.
 

Comments Hall of Fame for today’s episode:

“writers/monkeys with typewriters/etc.” (Bill C)

“most mammals have more subtlety than our writers” (Karen)

“the cliche de resistance, the stale cherry on the melted sundae” (Mike)

“some people learn from their mistakes, others practice them and get better at it” (Sylvia)

“Nation Bloviation” (NovelaMaven)

This blog is an unadulterated pleasure.
 

Blue Lass, if you were able to FF through the first half of the show then my work was successful. You missed NADA.

Variopinta, I appreciate the sympathy. Last night my honey was going through a purge for a "procedure". It occurred to me that he might be having a better time than I. Nah, just kidding. Except for the repeated conversation between Pedro and Tia the rest was kinda cheesy funny.

Urban A, last night's show GAVE me a migraine.

JudyB, gosh I hope they don't move this to midnight. It wouldn't surprise me though. I really feel for the LQNPA crew who is recapping a 10:00 show.

I realized this morning what February Sweeps means to Univision. They are Sweeping their viewers out the door and over to Telemundo.
 

Sylvia - You had me at "Bloviate". Also:
-Fab wants to sneak out to see some of that forbidden avocado fruit (still lol ing at your profile picture)
-30 seconds later Antonio has just about finished a beer outside
-gym socks!
-30 minute conversation of 4 lines
-Did I actually rewind?
-Another young actor runs up and gives his best shot at the performance of a lifetime.
Hey - wasn't that the over-actor we recently laughed at in the ER on CME?
-Please meet her at the only hotel in Fresno

Who was it guessed yesterday that Antonionlygymsocks hated Doris because she was pregnant when they got married? Nicely done!

They are dropping hints that Doris is sleeping around. "Lots of secrets", "sneaks out during the night", etc. I just don't see why she doesn't want to divorce Antonio's arse. What is holding her there? I mean, come on, her hate for him can't be as strong as her desire to have a decent life, can it?

And what's with the one grandaughter (not sure who is Fab and who is Flo... the one who looks like Topanga) telling her sister she le encanta a Claudio, but then when he asks her to be novios she tells him "No te amo"? That was hardly worth sneaking out for!

The brother / sister team of Lucrecia and Antonio is so awful we can't look away. Their plot to make Camila hate Pedro, her telling him to hit her "just pretend I'm Doris", Antonio telling Valentin he will be working for him soon, it's all so dysfunctional.

Mike, there are times when really nice people get difficult kids, but don't waste a second feeling sorry for Pigorio because of his brood. He made them what they are. Where is he anyway?

Rosemary la Otra
 

Rosemary la Otra:

"I mean, come on, her hate for him can't be as strong as her desire to have a decent life, can it?"

¿Estás bromeando, no?
 

Blue Lass's comments hall of fame inspired me to list some of Marta's comments and predictions:

1) Marta made the predictions about Doris. We finally got more background on Doris. Marcela Mar was good in her scenes, a more well-rounded actress than the others, and I hope to see more of her.

2) Elvira and Mister Renato will play each other, probably to mutual dissatisfaction. This will be fun to watch.

3) Antonio has some sort of plan for getting rid of Gagorio. Will DonG meet his demise before the end of the show?

4) Renato knows Pedro is the owner of El Tal. Could he have been at the poker party?

Marta, did I miss anything?

R la O, aha! Was Eager Farmhand the same guy in CME?

After last night my final thought before dropping off to long-awaited sleep, "It must SUCK to work at El Alcatrash!!"
 

Sylvia, what a yawner to have to recap. Kudos to your powers of concentration and reel off a terrific recap.

As for myself, I nodded off for about 10 min. and when I came to, didn't think I had missed a THING. Upon reading the recap, I realize I missed the only LIVE action in the whole hour--the ladies trading slaps. Oh my.

Sylvia, you said "I read that Venevision also did Acorralada, another famously bad telenovela. Some people learn from their mistakes, others practice them and get better at it (as my old piano teacher used to say)." Haha, you meant they get better at making mistakes, no? In this case the writers didn't even learn to make better mistakes.

Tracy, Tracy, you who were such a good friend to Camila--you kept mail around for 4 years (or however many anos despues it took for Camila to become an agricultural engineer. (Has anybody checked into the curriculum at Davis for us?) And only now that Camila's back in town you think to deliver it? Perdoneme--it's the writers that set you up with this non-sensical twist. Hmmmm, I could have sworn it was Augustin sitting on the couch for a second. Too bad we don't have a Mr. Smoothie in this tn.

Did you all notice that Doris says she got pregnant at a young age, but although she implies, she doesn't actually SAY Antonio is the father, just that Toni-o was pussed that she did it just to trap him.

I still hold out that at least Princess Fab, the Older, is a product of Doris and Don Gagg. I sure hope I'm wrong.

And do we really care what BIG secret Doris is hiding? We know she's good in bed--according to herself, so maybe she's selling her goods somewhere else (not to be found at Tal*Mart, no sireee).

Variopinta--About Pedro's getting kissed--according to Vivi's Excellent tn Glossary of Improbably Situations, Pedro suffers from Galanbesoparalysis.

Anita
My word ver--honestly is: grombles--what I'm doing through this tn.
 

Galanbesoparalysis

ja, ja,

so glad there is a name for it
 

Oh, and I did mean pussed....
 

I haven't seen this episode yet but thanks to Sylvia and all y'all, I'm all caught up and I know where to FF to. You all are truly brilliant. You could recap paint drying and it would read like a world class comedothriller.

"Antonionlysocks." Hahahahaha!

I must say I am actually really enjoying this show, minus the conversations that are on their 5th+ repeat. It is so campy and a few of the actors are making the most of it. Now if the writers would just start writing more...
 

Doris long list of BIG SECRETS must include the 'coca-cola' formula secret for whatever is in that LIMPID POOL green avocado-y water.
 

Cap'n:

Just when I think you have displayed the peak of recapping skill, you top yourself. Brilliant recap of an absolutely inane episode. How do you and Marta have the patience to recap each scene?

Today's favorites:

On Antonio's identity...

"I think the world already knows. He’s the desultory, scowling hottie with the laughably big belt buckle who shoves gym socks down the front of his pants and drinks all day."

I howled, yes, howled. The cats ran for cover.

And...

"Oh man, enough of the teeny-bopping Greek chorus already."
and

"But Loo’s been waiting in ambush and the moment Camila walks in Loo grabs Pedro’s face and inhales him."

The TN is absolutely awful and this recap is genius.

A couple of questions:

1. How old are Fab and Flo? Are they twins?

2. Did we really need the forgotten hairdryer to advance the plot and take up screen time?

3. (Drumroll for dramatic effect)...Is it possible that Mr Renato is going to return the check to Elvira, thus giving Elvira and her son the means to live in style in Fresno? Ya' think???? Whoa, a dropped letter...advancing plot device #4, in the Dummies version of 'How to write a telenovela'.

4. Does anyone know how many episodes were filmed for El TalMajal? Tell me that the number is 100 or less....

5. Where is Mariana?

EJ
 

I've got some bad news, EJ -- I think they're STILL FILMING. It could go on forever.

I think the girls *are* supposed to be twins, because they go to a lot of trouble to keep the dark-haired one in flats and the blonde in extremely high heels to make them the same height.
 

Just checked Wikepedia -- it says 120 episodes are planned. We're almost ten percent through!
 

Note to self: If ever in Fresno, DO NOT stay in the one hotel for any reason. Does not matter how late it is, keep on driving! They'll tell lechy drunks if you're staying there and they'll hand over your personal belongings to any thug who demands them. Who knows what other deficiencies exist in their service? Should I start a Yelp page for them so we can hear everyone's complaints?
 

Ack! They are still filming?
 

Julia, I understand they also CHARGE YOU FOR BREAKFASTS YOU DID NOT CONSUME. Es el colmo!
 

And there are no hair dryers in the rooms.
 

Also I hear it's more or less a hot-sheets orgy kind of place.
 

When I start my own hotel chain I am going to call it The Only Hotel, or perhaps The Only Hotel Inn.

The Only Hotel Inn Miami, The Only Hotel Inn Los Angeles, etc. for all the locations.
 

Julia...
The Only Hotel Inn
good one!
ROFLOL very catchy.
 

It's just sad that the recpas are so much better than the show. Sylvia, I think you were right about Antonio being 6 when he got Doris pregnant, and you were definitely right about being a cockeyed optimist. Is it possible to recover from this first part? I guess the actors aren't ALL terrible. Just most.

Genoveva is the smartest character here. She should get a better name and run away to find Margarito and Mariana who are probably having a lovely time in LA, sitting by the beach and snickering about how they got contracts with an escape clause.

This almost makes me feel bad for Fresno.

Kelly
 

Julia - That's brilliant! The Only Hotel Inn _______.

Somehow I think the thicker eyebrowed daughter (Florencia?)is supposed to be older, and not a twin. I think they have the younger one (Fabiola?) wearing her high heels so there isn't such a height difference and to make her look older. She is a little thing.

Like Anita, I am also hoping we'll find out the oldest is Pig's daughter, only not from a rape. Maybe Doris really loves Pig and that's why she doesn't want to leave and may still be having wild romps in the hay with him. Have you heard she's really good in bed?

R la O
 

Ahoy, just back from a romp in the avocado orchard...NOT.

Anita, yes yes, I meant your mistakes get better. Toni-O is pussed off, hee. He sure is! Galanbesoparalysis, snort, I'll remember that one.

Julia, thanks for the kind words amiga. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the campiness of this one. On a positive note, it reminded that I want to try my hand at cheesemaking. Last night was actually a hoot except for 1) the endless conversation between Pedro and Tia and 2) I was almost deliriously tired.

The Only Hotel Inn, bwahahahhaaa!!! Dang girl, how do you keep coming up with these?

EJ, I think that's why I just went scene by scene, I was too pooped to do anything original. Anyway, that's kinda my style. I did leave out or consolidate a few of the scenes but the ones with Pedro and Tia almost became kind of a game for me. Especially after he left the room and then HE WAS BACK again! I was laughing so hard.

Blue Lass, still filming? Oh dear Lord, say it's not so. Surely they have looked at the reviews after the premier and now know this is a cruel joke.

Kelly, I think Fresno got to put all sorts of Fresno State swag in the program, at least that's what they were told. I've yet to see any. Still, they are really getting a bum rap.
 

Poor, poor Fresno. On the other hand, every time anyone in the TN says "Fresno" -- every SINGLE time -- I get these little snorty hiccups. I think if I were in the area, I would HAVE to go.
 

Oh, Blue Lass:

Say it isn't so! Yikes. 120 episodes of dreck.

Mike your comments are fab lately.I am a little worried about your empathy for Gregorio, though...jajaja.

NovelaMaven: Love 'Nation Bloviation'! That subtitle needs to be sent to the Economist for use on their Election coverage. They always have the most CLEVER word play at the Economist.

Well, they can't say we are not making the best of things over here at El TalMajal.
 

This is the first U.S. produced telenovela, and so far I'm very disappointed. I have to agree with the comment that the recaps are so much better than the telenovela. Seriously, it's been "anos" and the private investigator STILL hasn't found Mariana? And why didn't Pedro notice that his check to Elivra was never cashed? If this telenovela was set in Mexico, I think it would seem more believeable.

120 episodes "planned"...hopefully they haven't filmed too many episodes, so they can speed things up and end this thing sooner. Or move this one to midnight and start airing a better telenovela.
 

Oops...I meant to say it's the first U.S. produced telenovela I've watched, not "the" first U.S. produced telenovela. Sorry.
 

RLO--Doris made it quite clear in her conversation with AntoniOSG when she was reclining on her bed and he was sloshing around in his own stew, that they could really get it on and he said, he wouldn't caer in her little trampita again.

Julia, et al. Just wait--there's going to be a Grand Opening for The Only Hotel Inn Fresno very soon. TOHI--very, very good.

Sylvia--I want to make sure that you understand that Galanbesoparalysis came from Vivi--she's our main wordsmithy. I hope we keep hearing from her here.
Anita
 

Got it Anita. I did see that it was our Vivi who coined the word. But I wanted to thank you for reminding us. Tribal knowledge is a very important thing here since the scathing comments tend to fly around like crazy.

Will The Only Hotel Inn Fresno have blow-dryers or do we need to bring our own? Better yet, we'll all bring ours to the grand opening and leave them there.

jenbeizaie, the only way to make sense out of this telenovela is to get as sloshed as Antonionlygymsocks. That might not do it either. I think they'd better stick to 120 episode or, better yet, cut it short. The editing is so bad it's not like anyone would notice.
 

Sylvia- Sorry to be late to the party. Fabulous as always! I couldn't tell you were tired.

I think I might actually watch this tonight. I think I can deal with it once a week. Got to keep my snark tank full.

Julia- The Only Hotel Inn X...brilliant!

Anita- Thanks for remembering my contribution to the CarayCaray dictionary.
 





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