Caray, Caray!

Hmmm...I'm going to be thinking about that verdant pool all day, Blue Lass. Glad you had one bright spot in this lamentable mess.

So witty...my favorite line was "this is what I get for taking a nap in my push up bra", but also loved your "lace on top but all d'Artagnan below". Literate and funny. Can't beat that.

Sorry your long tough day had to end with an episode of el Tal but you carried it off beautifully. Thanks.
 

THANKS A LOT, BLUE LASS. "Wake up wake up wake up…." Yeah. You win. Marvin Gaye in my brain the rest of the day. Otherwise you and TN Cat did a lovely job.

Lucrecia has condemned herself to the ever-burning fires of hell for messing with Viejita. I will give her points for being able to pop the hood. Who woulda thunk a spoiled, lazy brat like her could accomplish that?
 

Thank you, thank you Blue Lass, for doing what I could not-- finish watching this episode. I was already partly delirious, having slept half the day, laid low by a bad cold. I only woke in time to watch the last half hour of Familia as I heated up some soup, and then this show opened up with this crazy dream. I thought I was hallucinating. I finally caught on that it was a dream, and I also was yelling at the tv for whoever it was to wake up, as I clutched my tissues. Then I finally gave up and changed the channel to the premier episode of Corazon Valiente on Telemundo. The multiple shoot-outs and fight scenes in that were way easier for me to take in my weakened state, than the mind-numbing happenings of El Tal.

Can someone please tell me why both Camila and LooCrazy (or even one of them) are living with Pedro at El Tal? And where the heck is the check?!
 

Blue Lass, this is simply wonderful. There are so many marvelous favorite lines to choose from. Judy beat me to:

"That’s what I get for taking a nap in my push-up bra!"

so I'll go with:

"She squeals like a prairie dog..."

and

Oh, go back to playing dress-up and don’t be such a whiny puppy."

Now for confession...

I didn't realize it was a dream until Camila did. I thought they were fast forwarding the TN to get to something interesting and get rid of Pedro at the same time. No mezcal, Tequila, or martinis were involved... just... Duh!

So a hit out on Doris? I like it... and he was so matter-of-fact about the whole thing.

I so hope we have more Oscar... he pairs up nicely with Rita.

Carlos
 

Blue Lass...just wanted to add that I loved the title too...perfect for that bad bad dream that is el Tal.

Sorry I pre-empted your line Carlos! It was great, wasn't it?
 

Since JudyB and Carlos have already mentioned my favorite lines and Mike has captured my consternation at LuCrazierthanever's attempted Chevicide, all that remains is for me to express my vast admiration for your wit. You know how to make a tangy guacamole, Chica Azul. Even when the avocados are a tad past their prime...

[NovelaMaven, however, is envious that Blue Lass had an extended stretch WITHOUT DIALOGUE. And WITH MARIACHIS! NM is hoping they will also keep their yaps shut on Friday when it is her turn to pick up the chronicles.]
 

Rosemary la Otra is basking in the verdant pool of Blue Lass's recap. You are a funny one, BL. So, that dream was brought on by eating avocados at night? And not only was it a dream, it was a dream with several scenes.

I liked your "bondage undercurrent" remark, and how in a real boda they "never get all the way through the vows before a gun goes off".

Is there a BINGO square that has Live Person Sings Couple's Song to Them? I can't help but longingly look back to Enrique and Other Guy singing to Renata and Jero.

Just want to share something I am excited about from last night. I felt like Vivi for an evening. I participated, along with 5 other women, in a Melinda Gates forum (not run by her) about family planning in underdeveloped countries. Mostly we ranked messages to get the word of the need out there. I was the only non-man-hater in the group. lol Probably if the forum had happened before this whole Santorum/Limbaugh/Blunt/Rubio crap it wouldn't have been so explosive nor gone off topic so frequently. I was the well behaved one. Me!? Not that I am in with S/L/B/R. Oh no. Not at all.

Off to work,

R la O
 

Blue Lass, I almost fell off my chair laughing when I saw your title. I had avocado quesadillas for dinner last night and I was oh, so confused by the dream sequence. I thought maybe I had dozed off or something, duh, and I should wake up, wake up, wake up.

I was a little miffed that the wedding didn't get interrupted, only because I couldn't cross that square off on my bingo card. But the reward was this gem: "no action sequence could possibly occur without at least 45 minutes of conversation", how very true.

About 10 seconds out of the dream sequence I was longing to go back, back to the land where things happen without interminable "let's talk about it until the audience dies of boredom".

Your mind is wickedly clever, wish I'd thought of the "little bit of lace...D'Artagnan from the waist down" quip. That is SO Geno. Also, already mentioned, Cami "taking a nap in [her] push up bra". Hee! That's it, I'm no longer taking naps in my wonder bra.

Geez, why did they have to give so much camera time to El Viral going viral over Pat Paulsen's proposal? Made me want to spew avocado.

Shoot, I've got to take a conference call. How dare real life interfere with my telenovela universe? Estupidos! Blue Lass, I couldn't wait to see your brilliantly scathing version of last night's yawn fest. You SO did not disappoint. Gracias amiga! More later...
 

Blue Lass, how do you get inside my head (and then make my thoughts more entertaining)? I ate an avocado for dinner last night, and I really thought I was hallucinating during the dream sequence.

Actually when it first started, and they were acting lovey-turkey (they don't merit dove status) by the verdant pool, I instantly thought that was too sudden; it must be a dream. But then it went on SO LONG. I was so confused. Did Uni put the episodio on out of order?, I wondered. Are the writers even more schizo than I thought? But no, just another dream. At least the mariachis were great. They're welcome back anytime, IMO, as long as they play a variety of songs and not the same one over and over.

I hope Antagonio's plan to off Doris fails as miserably as everything else he plans. I find her interesting. Why is she so determined to marry the Ogre and stay at AlcoholicsTrashheap? If she's got the failproof man gettin' skillz she claims, why not use them on a better prospect and set herself up with an awesome new life?

I was bored by the chatter and looking at the scenery, also. El Tal has a BEAUTIFUL stable. I think it's nicer than the house. At least it doesn't have Flintstone lamps bolted down.

The scene of the girls at Fresno State was funny, too...those kids with the school sweatshirts draped over their shoulders...hee hee hee. Why didn't they just have them put the shirts ON, like normal people?
 

Blue Lass, thanks for the terrific recap and thanks for clueing us in on what causes nightmares. For a few minutes there, I thought I was having a "senior moment" because for the life of me I couldn't remember if I had missed some really important episodes. Now if we could just find out that Lucrazy is a dream, it would make my day. She is just scary!

I find it disturbing that El Viral and her son share the same bedroom, the boy needs his own room and El Viral needs a new BBF.

Rosemary Primera
 

Girls, I'm a little disturbed at how much avocado is being ingested around here. You do realize those brochures Doris gave you are just marketing, right?

I think we may be running up against a big question about whether dream sequences can be used on bingo cards. If so, some lucky player out there got "kissing in water" last night. And now that Camila has officially used the word "novios," I think we can count the next breakup as a real one, too.
 

Well, Blue Lass, I was with all the other Whiskey, Foxxy, Tang gang.

My first thoughts was that this was the new Intro, then it was, egad--someone put the wrong tape in, then figured it had to be a dream. What fools we dreamers are.

They wasted 15 minutes of our valuable time on that? My fear is that Pedro and Camila are going to keep US waiting at the altar for most of the show, so they threw us a crumb (maybe it should read crummy) of a preview with a wedding, noche de boda, embarazada and shots fired. How much more cliche can you get???

Please tell me Camila didn't change her mind that fast....yesterday she didn't want to kiss PI goodnight, because it might lead to other things???? One dream sequence later and she agrees to accompany him to Tijuana so she can be guaranteed he'll come back to her--talk about blackmail. At least Piedro was a gentleman and said nothing would happen, unless she wants it to.

It would serve Lucrecia right if Cammie and Petey take the new pickup and leave the old one for poor little Claudio. She hardly knew him....

Verdant Pool? What happened to the Limpid Pool? That's what we were advertising on Tal*Mart. I guess I'll have to find a new fabricator for Verdant Pools.

So, Blue Lass, you managed to filter all that verdant water and make it potable at the faucet. Thank you.
Anita
 

Oh dear -- it *was* limpid, wasn't it? I'm afraid my quiver is now so stuffed full of adjectives & insults that I can never find anything in there...
 

Mike and Vivi - Love the new pics! Mike, are you standing by Pigorio? Oh wait, that one is too cute to be him.
 

Hi, Blue Lass,

I actually took the time to watch last night's capitulo, and now feel like I am in need of the literary equivalent of a morning after pill.

Your recap was funny, savory, tasty and interesting, thus disproving the saying "You can't make chicken soup out of chicken sh!t."

David
 

Blue Lass:
Thanks for doing a stellar job recapping this long but horribly boring capitulo. You have such a nice turn of phrase, Ms. (or is it Dr.?) Azul, I wanted to name a few of my faves:

"And she seems kind of inappropriately excited, seeing as he’s already married and…"

Oh, yeah, the inconvenient FACT can be ignored in the interminable happy dream scenes. I take all the mean things I ever said about ENDA back. Evil plots (well executed) are much more interesting that this sappy, syrupy crap.

"Yawn! Blue Lass chants a few Hail Marys to the very nice Virgen de Guadalupe on the wall. Querida Virgencita, haven’t we suffered enough?"

Apparently not.

"Camila reveals she’s expecting. How did that happen? You have to do more than just hug it real tight and gaze into its little button eyes, you know. Never mind."

This was just hysterical. Loved it.

On sharing an engagement ring...

"You really gonna marry that old bag? Yes, and ASAP – in fact, as soon as you give me your ring. Okay, but I want it back later. I’ll buy you lotsa rings, squeezebox."

On being the recipient of good news...
"She squeals like a prairie dog: I’m getting married; I can’t believe it."

...And neither can we.

Wonderfully droll, Blue Lass. I smiled and chortled my way through the whole thing. Thanks again for this delightful recap.

EJ
 

Mike:

I couldn't believe how confident little Lola looked as she popped the hood! Think she ever worked in a full-service gas station, say, in Oregon, where they still do that? Nah, probably not.

I just saw a video of Lola on You Tube performing the now classic, 'I want to spend the night with you'. Seems she real subtle in real life as well.

EJ
 

Can someone explain how Renato came to use Oscar's house and servants? I know that Rita got Oscar out of the way for the night so apparently Oscar wasn't in on the deal. Did I miss something?

And a whirlwind trip to New York instead of a yacht visit? That plus the dream... I feel so... used.

Carlos
 

Chuckling at the title, started reading, still smiling, tea OUT THE NOSE at wedding scene mention of guns. Way to go, Blue. I loved all of it.
We figured it was a dream / nightmare but I was really, really hoping to see FIN in big red letters at the end of the wedding, and a new TN starting up. One can dream - even without the help of avocados.
 

Ah, poor Carlos! I was so hoping they would go to the yacht pond you found! New York? Meh...
 

EJ, the honorific I prefer is "La Infanta."

And speaking of real subtle, that Rita really rocks the boy shorts. Does she teach aerobics in her spare time? I mean, when she's not seducing dwarves?
 

Rosemary Primera, ITA about El Viral and Armani and their room-sharing. She even accused him of being jealous of her new guy, blech. To his credit Armani looked at her like she is crazy.

Blue Lass, I think dream sequences definitely count. I got a couple of squares because of the dream, but darn Camila said "no es cierto" instead of "no puede ser". She's not a team player.

Carlos, you actually expect an explanation for Renato's use of Oscar's house, with the entire staff being in on the charade? I can only assume he knew the butler-dude, or BD owed Renato a favor big time.

I also agree that Rita and Oscar are a perfect fit. Considering their difference in height, then her impressive balcony and his expansive front porch, if they face each other I think they will go together like a couple of puzzle pieces.

Emilia, yesterday I said I wish they would shorten this telenovela. Last night my first thought was "Gracias Virgencita, you've answered our prayers!!" But no, it was just hell in disguise.

Vivi, so sorry to hear that you're sick. Bummer! I hope you feel better soon.
 

Dream sequences count for Bingo. If it is shown on screen, good enough. I say "main couple breaks up" can be checked off as well. They've declared their love para siempre and then changed their minds many times, even if they didn't officially say "novios."
 

La Infanta Azul:

As you wish, your soon-to-be majesty.

EJ
 

I just want one of those Las Meninas skirts you can rest your drink on.
 

Top o’ the Comments:

“LuCrazierthanever's attempted Chevicide” (NovelaMaven)

“El Viral going viral over Pat Paulsen's proposal…made me want to spew avocado” (Cap’n Sylvia)

“acting lovey-turkey (they don't merit dove status) by the verdant pool” (Julia)

“I was with all the other Whiskey, Foxxy, Tang gang” (Anita)

“Now I feel like I am in need of the literary equivalent of a morning after pill” (David)

“I feel so... used” (Carlos)

“If they face each other I think they will go together like a couple of puzzle pieces” (Cap’n Sylvia)
 

Even in a dream they'd let Antonio into El Talisman! Will they ever learn? (no).

I too am impressed that Lulu knew how to open a hood, but her knowing which is the brake line is just too much. I know as much as any normal woman (I can cehck oil and point out the battery), but brake lines? Not a clue. I hope she got the correct one because the ride to TJ will be terrible without, say, the radio.

Kelly
 

La Infanta Azul

Love the 'fit in your new photo. There is an even wider skirt in a painting by Velasquez done when Dona Margarita was a few years older. The dress is green and red and looks like it comes with rear view mirrors and drink holders.

Pobrecita, to have to pose in that monstrosity! The dress probably weighs more than she does.

I must congratulate you, your majesty, on your excellent choice of genetric traits. In your earlier Caray I.d. photo you show not a trace of the famous Hapsburg jaw.

EJ
 

What's with all the zebra print? Are zebras big in Fresno? Are they raising thin-skinned zebras on the back 40? It's in the table tchotchkes at Alcoholtraz, Doris is wearing it, Rita is wearing it, I thought I saw a trace on someone else, too.
 

Ha hahaa! Great pic your highness. And I used to think panty hose were a pain. No wonder you royal types need people to dress you.

Maybe raising Zebras is the new big thing in Fresno? They eat avocados to get their nice, bright coats.
 

Free-range, avocado and raisin fed Zebras... YUM!! Can we have zebra skin pants in Tal*Mart, Please? Size ginormous.
 

Jijí. Two sizes: ginormous and waaaaaay too small.
 

Emilia:

I want a matching pair of ginormous zebra...shorty overalls, like Sarita! The placket in front may hide some of my many sins and the zebra print will distract, I hope.

Can I get a "Wide Load" sign for the t-shirt I wear under the farmer-john shorty?

I will also need a promise that you all will write me in the manicomio because my three children will interpret these fashion crimes as a sign of my impending dementia and have me 5150ed.

EJ
 

"Impending"...?