Caray, Caray!

Wow, you got this recap done fast! It might have been quick but it definitely wasn't short.

I, too, have to get up way too early in the morning but I couldn't resist reading your super recap.

I don't have time to list all my favorite quotes but some are: "careful, Doris, or you will look like port wine swiss cheese!", "wanna play clue anyone?", and the best of all, "she will come with a bodyguard… a nose picking bodyguard to sicken the heck out of Elviral and anyone else in that ‘party’".

I can not friggin' believe that Piedro and Cami are heading back to Fresno. Estupidos! It is like a bad dream where people can never get to where they want to go.

Squeeeee! Do we get to check off the "Suicide attempt (fake or real)" bingo square?

Now that Julia pointed out the Zebra I am seeing it all over the place.

Abismo starts Monday? I wonder if El Tal will get bumped to a different time?

Have a great weekend everyone. I'll be offline until early next week.

Marta, thanks again for the terrific recap. Fun stuff.
 

"Can’t stand him even in pictures" -- is that a frase hecha? I've never heard it before -- love it!

Other faves:

"Spy about what? … about the avocado crops… or maybe about the rain fall levels at Fresno … about Camila, about her relationship with Pedro… what else?"

"What is my husband missing that Pedro has in spades? … oh yeah! .. (surely its not a bigger belt buckle!) MANHOOD!"

"Is it really that important for Elviral to make sure her twenty-something daughter eats?"

FWIW, I don't think Panchito's sign says "P.I. for hire" -- I think it says "expendable"...
 

blue lass,
it was actually my attempt of translating something we say a lot in P.R., 'no lo puede ver ni en pintura'.
 

my guess is they might shorten UFCS to 1 hr, move ElTal to 7pm and have AdP at 8 or have AdP at 7, which is kind of early for what is expected to be a hit
 

where do I sign up for recapping abismos for fridays?
 

The bad (non-TN) cat woke me up at 4:44 this morning, but at least the TN cat & I got to watch last night's DVRed episode. Thanks to MartaIvett's timely & thorough recap, I was able to FF through the FF sisters and concentrate on the juicy bits...

Panchito is getting on my last nerve, but I do love the actor's physical humor. That little kick-step he did when he walked away from Tracy on the porch ("con permiso -- dice Panchito!") was priceless. I still think he's cruisin' for a bruisin' -- hope he survives.

And I'm happy to report that I turned the sound back on just in time to hear the cowhand say to the slut, "¿Qué haces aquí?" -- which means R la O and I have BINGO on card 8, row 5! I'm going to stick with this card and go for blackout...but we've got "kissing on beach," which will make it difficult. Surely they're not going to put a beach in Tijuana...?
 

Surely they're not going to put a beach in Tijuana...?
LOL!! my goodness Blue Lass.. never been in either Tijuana or Fresno but from what you guys say...
'that will be the day... that i die' (laughing, that is!)
 

Thanks, Marta! I may have to check out the new tn if you are going to be a recapper. Univision should hire you to bring up ratings!

Yay, BL! BINGO!!!!!!!!!! Now for Black-Out.

I had to laugh when Tracy said "Of course, my horse" to Panchito.

While the rest of us hang our dresses on the shower rod to get the wrinkles out from the steam, Elvira shoves hers under a pillow?

Will check in later. Thanks again, Marta!

Rosemary la Otra
 

yes, Rosemary, forgot to comment on the dress... but after all most of what Elviral has been wearing seems to be stretch polyester knits... even that pink gown was stretchy wrinkle-free material.
 

Thanks, Marta. Excellent.

I'm really getting a kick out of this shows but it is very frustrating because I'm convinced they could deliver so much more utilizing just the preposterous but tantalizing propositions that have been presented but so far just allowed to wilt on the vine:

Mariana's life on the streets

Armando as twins simultaneously seducing the F Sisters

Renato's yacht

Doris as superwhore stalking her father-in-law

Oscar

Fresno

I'm sure there are more teases that have just fizzled.

Am I the only one who thinks that even for a TN there is an excess of bickering here?

Poor Antonio:

"...he claims all she wants from him is sex..."

No wonder the poor dear drinks so much.

Carlos
 

Marta:

Thanks so much for this recap. "Miss Kookoo with the rope in the bedroom"...Love that part of the title and the later Clue reference.

I'm with Sylvia...I can't believe that Pedro and Camila are on the endless escalator back to Fresno. I guess the producers couldn't afford the location shots in Tijuana.

Furthermore, Chevy got a solid 15 minutes of product placement in this epi with Pedro driving around in the Silver Silverado. I think the most clever thing the writers did in this capitulo was get the point made that they would have taken (reliable old Chevy) la Viejita to TJ if evil Lucrezia had not taken her manicure scissors to the wrong (line, hose, whatever). Kelly had that right yesterday; it was too much to hope for that Lulu could actually pop the hood and cut the brake lines with competence.

I didn't think that ElTal could engage me anymore but I was wrong. Last night I found Elvira utterly irritating. Emilia, even your beanie did not prepare me for Mommy Dearest's most recent stupid and than nasty behavior.

Let me get this straight...So Elvira has had exactly one date and one bootie call with Renato and they are getting engaged. The engagement party must be TONIGHT, regardless of what anyone else may have planned. When her daughter is shown to have other plans, Elvira screeches at her for 10 minutes before offering the ultimatum—"Your 'dirty rancher' or your mommy, you pick."

¿QTH? There was so much self-deceiving grandstanding and manipulation in this one scene that I wanted to erase Elvira from the screen. I looked for the quick advice for slow patients shortcut on my keyboard and hit,

"Sometimes, our family systems in our families of origin are so flawed that we may have to decide if it is healthy for us to continue in them." or I could have spelled it out for our Camila, who has a very love EQ, "Divorce your borderline personality disorder afflicted Mother, she will not change. Make a nice family-of-choice for yourself, starting with Tia Goodsense; she is on your side. Your brother is a total looser and completely untrustworthy. As long as you know that you can take him or leave him, your choice. He will always disappoint you.Genoveva would make a nice sister."

Alright, I got that off my chest. I cannot believe that I let this SHOW get to me, it's just that I cannot abide the stupid hero/heroine thing. Arghh.

EJ, needs another cup of coffee.
 

Thank you, Marta, for your wonderful recap! You are so quick on the draw and your aim is perfect.

My favorite line -- Miss Nuttso in the bedroom with the rope (Clue, anyone?)

It is beyond repellent thinking of that picanariz Pancho anywhere in the vicinity of food. Still, I can't wait for Dinner with Renato tonight ... jejeje

Talk about hearing hoofbeats and thinking zebras -- last night I saw them everywhere -- either the costume department got a deal on a bulk buy of zebra print (Mr. Pig's Bulk Buy?)or they have a more wicked sense of humor than we give them credit for.

Sylvia,

"... It is like a bad dream where people can never get to where they want to go."

Yes, it's like Buñuel's "Exterminating Angel" (which I had forgotten about until it was alluded to in the current Woody Allen movie, "Midnight in Paris")

In the Buñuel film, dinner guests are inexplicably blocked from leaving the party. The thin veneer of civilization erodes quickly and they ultimately reveal the basest parts of their nature.

(This classic is especially interesting to TN fans because it stars Silvia Pinal and features Jacqueline Andere, when they were young actresses and had not been nipped and tucked beyond recognition.)

God, this is the best comedy on tv.

Carlos, you are right. They could deliver more. But let's not be ungrateful. They have given us so much.
 

NM:

Our posts crossed I think. LOL. I saw the zebra fabric on Doris, Rita and Tia Goodsense.

Like you, I later saw it in my dreams. Seriously. In real life, my daughter was just recently engaged and I dreamed that not only did I fail to lose those all-important 15 pounds, but I was forced to wear zebra print in my Mother-of-the-bride 'fit. It was not a pretty sight. Really, it was a nightmare.

EJ
 

NM:

On Buñuel's "Exterminating Angel...Yes, yes, yes, great call! I LOVED that movie but it was very dark. Of course I loved 'Brazil', too.

EJ
 

Thank you, Marta! As always, an excellent detailed recap. I loved the Clue reference.

So, Pedro and Camila basically had the same conversation over and over and over throughout the episode, right? Why do they do this to us, when we should be finding out what Mariana's up to or learning actual new things about the characters' backgrounds?

Evilra is the worst. Why does Camila let her manipulate her this way? I was hoping she would shove her into the pool. And how dare she lecture Camila about morals when it's no secret she sleeps around for money? I mean, Camila knows about the affair with El Pig. I'd think that would be a trump card in any argument they have for the rest of their lives.
 

EJ,

I haven't seen "Brazil" but of course now I'll have to. I'm check on Netflix ...

There were also zebra-printed tshotchkes at AlcaTrash -- vases or something.

I take it that your zebra print MOB outfit was a dress and not tight leggings or overall cutoffs? If so, it wasn't really a pesadilla, just an unfortunate but transient image. No te preocupes.
 

By the way, Aaron Diaz's villain face -- you know, when his mouth forms an inverted "U" -- is hilarious.

I'd love to see the out-takes of this novela. He must crack up as soon as the cameras stop rolling.
 

The faces he makes and the bullfighter swagger crack me up. Who would have guessed that upright citizen Dr. Mariano Sanchez Suarez had it in him?
 

NM:

Thank you for the reassuring words. I am trying behavior mod self-talk right now. "It was not a pesadilla. I am in a safe place and no one can MAKE me wear the zebra print leggings and safari tent-like tunic."

OT: Brazil is genius, if overlong. In 'Brazil', we see the absurdity of the post-modern world, causality and how a fly can change history. Jonathan Pryce is brilliant and it is directed by Gilliam. Also, the set decorators anticipated the steam-punk movement by about 25 years. OK, I will try not to oversell it. It is a VERY weird movie. I adore it.

ITA on the AD villain face: You just know that between takes Aaron Diaz is using the Amazing Ab-i-sizer and laughing himself silly. Little Lola may be having a good time, too.

Poor Novoa; not so much.

EJ
 

Julia:

Bullfighter swagger is right! And such a body! I looked at he and little Lola last night and thought that if they reproduce they could start a race of kids with super-bodies. Lord, I am not sure who has a better rear view.I wonder how much they work out and if they believe in Ben and Jerry'c Coffee Heathbar Crunch ice cream?

Anita, I want to order a "Talk to the Belt Buckle" T-shirt.
 

If I remember correctly, Aarón wore a traje de luces in the abysmal "Barrera de amor". (And El Pig played his daddy!) So he has had a few years to perfect the swagger.
 

julia, Ben and Jerry'c Coffee Heathbar Crunch ice cream sounds great, my fav is NY super fudge chunk but i love coffee flavor in ice cream too... AND heath bars so that sounds like a great alternative to try next time..
LOVE the 'talk to the belt buckle' tee... can i get one of those too?
 

To all:
Very thankful for your recaps. I fell asleep before Tues & Weds episodes of fetid guacamole began. I guess I did not miss much. If Uni does move this "ensalada" to a different time then so be it. Kinda hard to track 4 tns in one night and still sneak over to Telemundo for "Maid" and Corazon".

Carlos thanks for the picture of the Fresno Yacht club.

I really love the snark and creative critiques bestowed on this tn. It is hard to stop watching it. I guess we all think (hope)it might get better, but so far not so.

EJ love the "Telenovela Cat". I used to have one too.

As I prefer tns to "regular" tv I'll stay tuned for more abismo guacamole.
sf chica bonita
sf chica bonita
 

Qué tal Marta...add me to the list of those who loved "port wine swiss cheese". What an image! You said you were in a hurry but you covered the episode super thoroughly as always.

I think it would be great if the entire el Tal team jumped ship and recapped Abyss instead. Your recaps have been works of genius, but bright people like you have better things to do than watch this crapola.

Short term dreck-watching, okay. Long term, this might turn your brains into port wine swiss cheese as well! Crap can be catching.
 

Marta, thanks so much for your hard work and wittiness in the face of your exhaustion! It really is appreciated.

It's becoming clear to me how very sad it is that in a whole hour long episode, the things that keep me going are anticipating Tony El Matadooooor strolling across the screen in a snit (and sitting on his horse with belt buckle aglow going to commercials -- a stallion on a stallion, yeahhhh) and Looooo strolling across the screen in a snit. Lordy, doesn't say much for the writers of El Tal, does it? *rolling my eyes* *sigh*

Camila is giving me hives. I wonder if the poor actress was hired to simply argue with everyone in every scene every day. I think if she stubbed her toe and someone mentioned it, she'd have some kind of fit. "I did not! I did not stub it! Mentira!!!" *sigh*

*suddenly the new show coming sounds kind a good*

I didn't get to watch my recording of this episode yet... might as well do that now. And get my FF button ready LOL. Argh.

Oh yeah, and thanks a lot for this gem, Marta: "What is my husband missing that Pedro has in spades? … oh yeah! .. (surely its not a bigger belt buckle!) MANHOOD!" hahahaha

Laters, Caraymates.
:)
 

You guys think this show is frustrating... Just try not being able to access the recap and comments half the day.

Not sure about others, but with my phone I can only access that day's posting and I am not near a computer most days.

So LQNPA has taken up the whole space. Sweet Alexandra over there got me the link to El Tal, but if we are missing others, that is probably why.

Of course in my panic of not being able to get through I forgot what I wanted to say. Lol

This isn't it, but did you see that Pig went to General Hospital? Is that a real place?
 

Hey, you're welcome! I don't know why they are showing only my posts, but anytime you wish to get to a recap, just let me know. I edited my posts also and put on top links to the other recaps.

By the way, things will get harder for you with this telenovela, since starting with Monday, they are moving it to 1 PM. 1 PM EST, that's right. I guess this means it's pretty awful. Will you guys manage to still recap it?
 

Marta- Fab recap. Not sure where you skimped because it's totally detailed. I just can't do it. Every time I try to watch, after 2 minutes my hand reaches for the remote, and now Corazon Valiente is heating up the screen on Telemundo at the same hour.

So, Elviral has gotten it on on screen at least twice now, and our protagonists have not, even once?! Is that right? These writers don't even know the basics about how to engage an audience. Maybe it's a tn robot writing it. Surely, the tn monkeys would have had more imagination and insight had they written it.

Hey, it's Jaime from Dinero playing the loser nose picker! Totally different role and look for him.

I agree that AD must be having a great time in this role, plot and ratings be damned.
 

Sorry for the lateness of my apologies to Martaivett for such a wishy washy episode. But You Gave it Life. Zebras to the rescue!!!

I was out last night and only gave the episode a cursory glance and ended up FF through most of it. I did enjoy the Mama-Hija confrontation. Poor Hija. Poor Hijo. (I also am thinking Poor Renato--he doesn't know what he's getting.)

EJ--We don't have any Talk to the Belt Buckle T-Shirts. We do have some Talk to the Belt Buckle Buckles (one size fits all). First you have to make sure Antonio (or any person of your choice) is wearing it. Then you have to get real close to it and record your personalized message. Press the right button and it repeats it to you as many times as you want.
Anita
 

Thank you, Marta for a very helpful recap!

Does anyone know what time Abismo will be? I tried to set my DVR but it's not listed on Univision Monday night?

And what's with the G rating on this novella? NM got it right when she called Camila and Pedro the 40year old virgins. The only one getting any action on this show is, shudder, Elviral. At least LooKrazy and Antonio are passionate (although both are celibate!). C and P seem like bffs not novios.

Just sayin!

Katy
 

Katy- It seems this is being moved to 1pm. Perfect for the G rating.
 

Blue Lass asked:

"Can’t stand him even in pictures" -- is that a frase hecha? I've never heard it before -- love it!

and Marta replied:

it was actually my attempt of translating something we say a lot in P.R., 'no lo puede ver ni en pintura'.

and NovelaMaven, who couldn't stop blabbing if her life depended on in, has to add:

Yes, yes, it's una frase hecha and you'll hear it over and over in novelas. But I was delighted to come across it in French where:

ne pas pouvoir voir quelqu'un en peinture = no poder ver a alguien ni en pintura
 

MartaIvett, were you being a mentira about being pressed for time? This was a lovely recap!

But, help me. None of you women have made any mention of your plans for International Women's Day.

Elna Jung, you're right about the Shiv-a-lay product placement and I was so happy to see Lucrecia's attempted sabotage fail, though one can only imagine how La Viejita felt being so blithely abandoned for a younger, sexier, stronger truck that had great headlights (and A/C!). That snip noise from Lucrecia's dikes was not the sound of severing a brake line.

They need to be careful with the zebra pattern. At least put up a disclaimer about how no zebras were skinned during the filming of this TN lest PeTA get involved.

Speakin' o' the beasties, Rosemary la O, my current pic is from our trip to Julia's lovely Emerald City a few years ago. Seattle seems to have adopted swine as their emblematic animal. Too cute and there are some really creative folks out there.

Julia, should I change my pic from the piggy to the Gum Wall?
 

OMG, NM, it *is* like Exterminating Angel! And the first time I tried to look up the new TN on IMDB, I typed "abismos" instead of "abismo" and got an old Buñuel movie...wouldn't that make an interesting run.

EJ, coffee toffee crunch RULES.

Katy, I don't think Antonio is celibate -- he likes to take drunk chicks to the Only Hotel Inn (or at least he used to.) And Doris is getting plenty, and so, apparently is Rita...!

Looks like the new TN is going right into El Tal's slot at 9 p.m.
 

Mike, NO. Not the gum wall.

The piggies all over town were fiberglass (I think) replicas of Rachel, the giant brass piggy bank in Pike Place Market. They were painted by different artists and displayed for awhile before they were auctioned off as a fundraiser for the market. My favorite was P. Orca. I've seen the same thing done in other towns with different animals. It was fun. They have disappeared, to snooty hifalutin' art collections, I assume :). I do still see pigs in assorted other forms.

I think Sarita and Gabriel are enjoying some noncelibate delights, as well. Unless they get thwarted EVERY time she puts the cat suit on. Maybe she'll try a zebra suit for better results.
 

Julia and Mike- We had those in DC too. One year they were called "Party Animals" and were elephants and donkeys. Another year it was the panda because of the pandas at the National Zoo. I know other major cities have had them too. I like the pigs. :)
 

They have bighorn sheep in Palm Springs. Very nice!
 

A town in Idaho where I used to live had Labradors.

I assume Fresno does zebras.
 

Avocado-eating zebras. In Wonderbras.
 

Only at Madame Brigitte's. And only on Wednesday Theme Nights.
 

I love Camilla
You know what I miss
I miss Eva Luna

I miss how she is Eva who loves Daniel
It was a beautiful ending


Great wishes to.you Blanca Soto
Blanca is Camilla
 

Lexington, KY had horses (Duh?), Norfolk, VA had mermaids and Gloucester, VA had beehives. We really did like the Seattle pigs - I got Mike's picture with quite a few of them.

Loved your recap, Marta, you left nothing out, bless your heart!
 

From the Golden Age of Disco, an anthem for Panchito, indeed, an ode to his daintiness.

Hey, if we're gonna disintegrate and move on to Abysmal Passion... might as well have some fun, right?
 

Mike:

As the dance DJ would have said...

"We should dedicate this one to...Tracy." Seems like this is what she has to look forward to if she accepts the Boogster's offer to be her novio.

I LOL when I listened to the song.

EJ
 

I am having a fast and furious change of mind here, my favorite couple in this circus BY FAR is Tracy and Panchito!! I want them to end up with Alcatraz!!! and be Pedro and Camila's BFFs and neighbors!! that way they are close but not under same roof so they don't play interference