Caray, Caray!

The flurry of half-baked subplots is getting on my last nerve. The show has gotten so random!

Vince promises Candy he only said he'd sell her to Napoleon in order to "gain time." He wants to talk to Napoleon directly, to find his weaknesses. "He has no weaknesses," Candy says. She frowns at the little red box containing a whopper of a diamond ring. She's afraid. To distract her, Vince asks about the future. She wants ten children! She's worried for Vince, not herself. He shows his muscles.

At the dinner table, Pancho says "Chela and I are going to try." The kids are surprised but cautiously positive.

Cheeto and Rebeca, at a fancy restaurant, talk about moving to Miami together. She doesn't look very happy about it. They'll visit Eastern Europe. Or Alaska! Or Africa! She won't kiss him on the lips ... but Pancho, who's been dancing nose to nose with Chela, does kiss his starry-eyed cunis on the lips. We yawn.

Fer and the Doc spent an elegant evening dancing to Agustin Lara. She's been so close to death, she doesn't think about it, but enjoys every moment. He has a cute plan: let's run out of the restaurant without paying! Oh how much fun! It makes me mad. (Later he goes back and pays.)

Enzzo dreams about previous Chela snoggings but Moni rains on his daydream: Pancho and Chelo "are going to give it a try." She consoles him sweetly.

Pancho arrives at work talking all whispery/scratchy and pretentious, in a mafia outfit (black shirt, white tie), hair slicked back. Mike arries in a white hat and leather jacket talking funny too. Are they trying to talk like each other? Fail. Enter Rebe dressed like Chela in a frumpy apron talking slang and chewing gum. Oh, of course, it was Pancho's ugly nightmare.

Tomas looks worse than ever when Pepe visits him in jail and slips him money (I guess to bribe the bad guys). Tomas gives money to the thugs but it doesn't turn them friendly.

At college (I thought they'd all quit going) Lupe and Ana do a dull rehash. Lupe feels a little something for Tomas now that he is so hideous...

Freddy meets some prof from UCLA who wants to offer a teaching position.

Ines visits Vince at work. She demands whiskey. She has a solution to their problems: kill Fernanda! Vince screams no! But she says sooner or later Fer will find out Pancho is her son, and she doesn't want him getting his mitts on her dough.

The lawyer Mendoza finally got the security tapes; Pancho invites his daughter to come see them. Pancho sets the table and lays out the tortas and fondly viewing his lunch, decides he should stop calling Chela (who, blegh, put a lovey-dovey-valentine in the torta) his cunis.

Once again the papparazzi published pictures of Mike and Rebe together. Enzo tells Rebe: Chela and Pancho will "formalize their relationship." She says she always knew it! They commiserate.

What? There's a new show "Abyss of Passion" starting Monday?

Ines calls Fer with a fake friendly voice but scary music plays. "I'm so sorry for what happened in Germany, I want to ask your pardon in person - how about tonight?" Fer reluctantly agrees. Ines: "How was my acting?" She preens, Vince says she deserves an Oscar. He's warming to the idea of his aunt's death.

Mike comes in. Ines hits him with her stick for the things he's said that were bad for the stock value. What did he say? Was it when he said he's a felon? Or that the Belle Face stock is overvalued? That Ines was in a coma? She demands his resignation. Vince is happy Mickie is taking Rebe off to Miami because it will hurt Pancho.

Just when I think Candy's dresses couldn't get any more extreme, they do. She shows Fer and Chela the huge diamond ring Napoleon sent.

I don't think the security footage was very definitive, it just showed - a woman in sunglasses - but everybody there is pleased.

Lupe tells her dad: "Don't do it (try it on with Chela). You'll hurt our aunt. You love Rebeca." He compares his situation to hers with Tomas.

Sandra is friendly to Candy because she's in love with Chacho now. She gives Candy an "urgent" envelope to give Vince. When she hands it to him it bursts into tiny flames. Vince is terrified. Candy douses it with his water bottle. He applauds. The mystery woman Debora calls him saying: "This was just a test."

Candy tells Vince she wants him out of danger, so they should end their relationship forever. She leaves crying.

Pancho and Rebe face off: each claims not to care what the other is doing. "When are you resigning?" "As soon as possible." He goes to a sidewalk florist to distract himself by getting flowers for his new squeeze - but not red roses (that flower is for Rebe)...

Candy packs a suitcase poorly in preparation for fleeing. She leaves the diamond ring behind and gets on a bus.

Turns out Fer doesn't believe Ines is coming to bury the hatchet (except maybe in her skull) so she's glad the Doc offers to be at the meeting with her - the meeting Inez is cheerfully preparing for by brandishing a bottle of potassium poison.

Freddy's thinking over his future when his mom calls. Then Ana comes in, all sad because her career is over (because she visited her brother when he seemed to be dying). Freddy valiantly offers to buy all the cds. Now she's sorry she dropped out of college.

For this special first-night-of-being-Pancho's-girlfriend, Chela made every single food she knows how to make, the board is groaning. Everyone's talking. Vince arrives shouting for Candy. He tells them she took her suitcases and left after the letter bomb went off and Napoleon's woman called to say "things won't be so innocuous next time." Neither Vince nor Pancho knows what innocuous means but they know things are bad.

Sandra's father is in a diabetic coma in the hospital. Tell me why we care about this? She and Chacho distract themselves by going to some pretty place and putting fake flowers on their heads. Chacho doesn't drink because his dad was an alcoholic and died of cirrhosis.

Debora tells Napoleon: Candy's phone is still bugged and they can find her any time. While Candy calls home to say nobody can know where she is, Debora hops in the van to get her.

Freddy tells his dad he's been offered the job in L.A. but isn't going to go because of Ana. Pancho arrives and he and Vince yell at each other. Afterwards Vince reminds Freddy that when Ana wanted to make her cd she abandoned Freddy in a second, so he should do the same now!

Rebeka tells Fernanda she's leaving with Mike. Fer says this is the biggest mistake she could make - "You're running away, it won't solve your problems. You don't love Mike."

Fer is at the restaurant of death. Octavio hasn't come with her for some reason. Inez pats the potassium poison in her pocketbook and tries to smile at Fer without cracking her facelift.

Pancho tells Chela they should stop sleeping in separate beds.

Labels: familia