Caray, Caray!

　

If God should withhold His mercy from anyone on Earth, Monsieur, it surely will be you! M. Hercule Poirot

　

We start today where we left off yesterday in the deep, dark woods at night, between El Talisman and Alcatrash as two men are riding horses. Pedro is going along on his horse, when Pigorio spots him. Pigorio has a gun, points it at Pedro, aims and fires, and Pedro proceeds to drop and roll, (thanks Rosemary la Otra). Pigorio aims the gun again to finish the job, when, wait for it, Margarito is heard yelling in the background, and with a flashlight, proceeds to the sound of the shot. Pigorio seeing his opportunity has flown the coop, leaves the area. (Note to Pigorio: You can't hit the broad side of a barn, jus' sayin'). Margarito comes with his flashlight and finds Pedro knocked out and carries him back to El Tal.

　

Meanwhile, back at El Talisman, noone has heard the shots. Manuel and Maria have come to pay a visit to Mariana to make sure she is ok. She is with Santiago, and they have a nice conversation about how she is ok, and she is glad that Maria and Manuel are doing so well. This little visit ends with Manuel giving Mariana a hug and a kiss. Then he and Maria leave. Santiago says you love your Papa very much? Mariana says yes.



Cameela, in her martial bed at Alcatrash, listens to "Dr." Raimundo tell her to get some rest. He will give her something to sleep. The old Beltbuckle wants her to get better, sooner rather than later, so she can have, wait for it, Mis Hijos. They leave the room and Tracy has come in. Cameela is very nervous about this operation. Tracy tells her to be calm, and can she bring her anything? Cameela says she has a pill to sleep. Tracy tells her that everything will be ok, just get some rest, and goes to leave the room. Tracy wants to know if she wants the lights on or off. Cameela says leave them on. Tracy leaves.

　

Panchito is meeting with his Piggy Papa and El Porko wants to know the chisme on Mariana? Anything, anything at all???? Panchito tells El Porko, no, nada. El Porko wishes Mariana were dead. Panchito is so not happy to hear that.

　

Mariana decides to come sneak around Alcatrash. She is wanting to see Cameela rather badly. (Note to Mariana, love how you have the AVACADOES noone else seems to have, over there at El Tal, jus' sayin'). She is hiding around the corner, when "Dr" Raimundo and The Prince of Darkness stop to have a little chat. The Prince of Darkness says this plan for Cameela to have this fake cancer was a good idea, now they can get rid of that baby, and Cameela can commence to having his hijos. Mariana hears every word. (Note to Mariana, please stay hidden, don't move. Just listen).

　

Over at El Tal, we see Pedro, in his bed all alone, sleeping. He is dreaming of Cameela and wakes up. Seems he wasn't hit by no El Porko bullet. And now he can't go back to sleep. Pedro has drifted off and wakes up and Padre is in his room. Padre is keeping watch over him, to make sure he is ok. Bless you Padre. Padre asks how he is feeling. Pedro says he fell off his horse and has some bumps and bruises, but otherwise is ok. He says he really can't sleep because he is very concerned about Cameela. (Ed Note: I don't know if he told Padre about the failed attempt to kill him).

　

Valentin and Lucrazy are in the cabana and she is begging him to let her go to El Talisman. Valentin tries to talk her out of it. She says she wants to drive Mariana crazy forevs. Now with Cameela out of the way, and Mariana on her way to being crazy as a loon, Pedro es Mio will be all Mio. Well, Valentin can't turn his back for a moment, cause, she disappears and Valentin goes to look for her.

　

The Prince of Darkness escorts "Doc" Raimundo to the door, they don't see Mariana, and she starts to creep around the corner. Now she really wants to find Cameela's room, so she can tell her the truth about what she heard. (Note to Mariana, please be careful girl. You are in enemy territory. Ya shoulda brought a weapon, jus' sayin'). "Doc" Raimundo wants to know where is the rest of my dinero? He says when the "operation" is done, he will get the rest of his blood money. The Prince of Darkness says you will never have a baby with es Indio.



Doris is in El Porko's bed. She wants to know if he wants a pill. He is nervous about Doris being in his bed, what if Tracy walks in? (Note to El Porko, look dude she ain't comin' in there, she's rather run for the hills than come in there jus' sayin'). Uh, oh, he hears a noise. Doris doesn't hear anything. He tells Doris open the drawer of the bedside table. She thinks he wants a pill to calm himself, but, oh, no, he wants his gun. He opens the bedroom door and Mariana has ducked into an alcove, so she won't be discovered. El Porko thinks he is hearing things and goes back into the room. (Note to Mariana: Good work so far, now run and find that room).

　

Mariana finally finds Cameela's room and goes in and Cameela is sleeping. She tries to wake Cameela up. She finally succeeds in waking Cameela. Cameela is shocked to see, the avacadoes Mariana has, not really, but you know. Anyhoo, Mariana says she has come to see Cameela cause Pedro wanted a report, not really again, but hey, it works. Anyhoo, Pedro is very concerned about Cameela and she wanted to come see her and make sure she is ok, but listen, I have something to tell you. Are you ready, Cameela, ya sure, not really, but she tells Cameela that she wants her to be happy with Pedro now that she has the proverbial bun in the oven, in other words, Pedro's bebe in tummy. You are with child and this ain't no immaculate conception, get the drift? Well, Cameela thinks that Mariana has gone round the bend. She is so not buying this. Well, Mariana, bless her heart, tells Cameela everything "Doc" Raimundo and the Prince of Darkness said, while she was sneaking around to find Cameela. Mariana says in the morning they are going to abort your bebe. Stop them from hurting you. (Note to the Prince of Darkness: See above quote). She wants Cameela to leave Alcatrash tout de suite. They are very anxious, you could cut the tension with a knife in that room. Cameela spills the frijoles to Mariana about why she really married the Prince of Darkness. Cameela is finally beleiving Mariana about having the little Pedro in the oven, and Mariana is pressing her to leave.

Meanwhile back at El Tal, Gabe is outside in the dark forest, pondering all of Sarita's witchings about getting married, doncha know. Juancho comes to talk to him. Gabe says he ain't gettin married in the morning, well ya know what I mean. Anyhoo, he is bored, misses Sartia and is going to the cabana on El Tal to find her. Geno comes by and runs into Juancho with some things for the orphanage. When, wait for it, they see a mysterious figure in hoody, jeans, those four inch heels (Thanks Rosemary la Otra) and sunglasses at night. (Note to Lucrazy: Why didn't ya wear the white gown, drown yourself in white powder and really look ghostly, jus' sayin'.). They are freaked out. They want to go tell Pedro, as in runtelldat. Ms Sunglasses at Night laughs to herself and gives herself a pat on the back, for them having seen her.



Now what have we here, hummm. It's en flagrante time, it seems. Gabe has come to see Sarita, and she's dressed as a, wait for it, belly dancer. That's right, veil and all. She is doing the come hither dance and Gabe is soooo into that. They end up, umm, ya know, En Flagrante. Now in their En Flagrante afterglow, Sarita, is wait for it, witching about Gabe marrying her again. He is still not with getting married, and he says she isn't preggers so what is the rush? He isn't ready. She pouts.

　

Valentin has not been able to find Ms. Sunglasses at Night, so he goes and rats her out to the Prince of Darkness. He wants a gun, as he goes to "hunt" for her, he thought bubbles she should be dead for realz. Meanwhile, Ms Sunglasses at Night has made it to El Tal, just as she is about to go closer to the door, she is grabbed by the Prince Of Darkness. She isn't happy. The Prince of Darkness has escorted Ms Sunglasses at Night, back to the cabana, and reminds her once again she is dead, dead I tell you. He orders Valentin to stay with her. She is pithed. So the Prince of Darkness leaves and she is alone with Valentin. She tries to bribe him to let her go back to El Tal. In a year, I'll have money, and can pay you then, (Note to Ms Sunglasses At Night: Is the same thing as buy me a hamburger today,and I'll pay you tomorrow? ). Valentin is like no way El Patron, Prince of Darkness with kill me. Well, now what have we here, ummmm Satan (Sorry was thinking of the Church Lady from SNL). Anyhoo, she is trying, of all things, her en flagrante skills on him, rubbing up against him, putting moves on him, as he is staring at her bugeyed!!! She is using every en flagrante skill she has on him, but oh, no it isn't working. He won't disobey the Prince of Darkness. He tells her that if she were to be caught at El Tal, they would throw her Sunglasses at Night in jail, for faking her death, and besides Pedro wouldn't and couldn't visit her in jail. She is very verklempt. Ms Sunglasses at night has settled down for the night, and Valentin is reading a paper, and suddenly thinks about all the crimes he has committed, dropping Mariana off in LA in the slums, the car bombing of Tia Patty and Claudio, and stealing Pedro's gun. He thought bubbles oh, Dios Mio, I'm going straight to hell. Not really, but you get the gist.



Now we get to the crux of this epi. (Ed Note: Was very verklempt about this part of the epi, but bear with me). The Prince of Darkness has come back to Alcatrash, flips on the light in the living room and sees Mariana and Cameela together. Well The Prince of Darkness is so NOT Happy to find Mariana there with Cameela. He wants to know what she is doing at Alcatrash. Mariana says she came to protect Cameela from him! Cameela tells him he is a killer (See M. Poirot's quote above). She spills the beans about everything Mariana heard him say to the "Doc". He swears he doesn't know what they are talking about (Note to the Prince of Darkness: Look Focker (Thanks Sara, over there at Abismo for that), the jig is up, already, you lost). He accuses Mariana of being crazy. She tells him because of you , I lost our baby, and now you want to kill Cameela's baby. Well about this time the Focker, draws a gun, and both women are scared to death. The Focker says that Pedro is an Indio and that it is Pedro's baby and he wants Cameela to be the mama of MIS HIJOS. He points the gun at the two very scared women and Mariana, bless her heart, gets right in front of Cameela to protect her from the Prince of Darkness. He grabs Mariana around the neck and the Focker points the gun at Cameela's womb. She calls him a baby killer and a coward. Well Cameela struts forward, having got some Avacadoes of her own, and pushes the Prince of Darkness. He loses his aim and is pointing the gun at both of them. They are not standing together now and he has lost all reason and control. Cameela and Mariana are really screaming at him.



This wakes the El Porko up out of a "dead" sleep. He is like QTH is going on. The first thing he does is get his gun from the bedside table. He says there are always problems here, ya think, and most of them of YOUR OWN DOING! He puts his robe on and goes to investigate. (By the way, Doris has been gone for awhile, see bottom of recap for that).



Meanwhile the Prince of Darkness says he doesn't care if he kills her. Mariana says he'll end up in jail. He has Mariana by the neck and Cameela sees her chance and runs out the door and into the night. The Focker lets go of Mariana to chase Cameela and that leaves poor Mariana alone. Now in comes Focker II. He has his gun, and can't beleive he is seeing Mariana in HIS CASA right in front of him. The first thing Mariana says is you are a Maldito for killing my bebe. (Note to Mariana: Girlfriend ya shoulda pretended you know nothink jus' sayn'). You killed my bebe. So now Focker II thinks that poor Mariana has got her memory back. He points the gun at her and says now you will truly be dead. Mariana is still saying you killed my bebe. Focker II points the gun at Mariana and aims and says, now you will be quiet forever. Meanwhile, Cameela is running for her life, toward El Tal in the woods. Is is very dark and she is running like the hounds of hell are on her tail. Unfortunely, the Focker I catches up with her, and still with gun in hand, puts a hand over her mouth so noone can hear her. (See M. Hercule Poirot's quote above for both Fockers).

　

Incidentals:

Sarita, Gabe (after the afterglow)., Geno, Juancho, Pedro are talking about seeing Ms. Sunglasses at Night, the ghost. Bet she's dead, Bet she ain't. This goes on for awhile. Back and forth until, Sarita, bless her heart, says, well look, what if she ISN'T REALLY DEAD; Ding, Ding, Ding, we have a winner. Pedro says he will investigate the grounds with Margarito, everyone else stays inside, capiche??? Pedro goes to his office to find his gun, which lo and behold, is missing. Well he can't find it anywhere, so he and Margarito arm themselves with, wait for it, RIDING CROPS, really dudes, you don't have axes, or pitchforks, just sayin' Any ways, they go to investigate the grounds, and this is what Focker I hears and covers Cameela's mouth.



El Virus is yammering to Army about, I'm so worried about Cameela, doncha know. Army isn't down with that. She wonders why noone beleives her, (Listen Lady I almost gave you the nom de plume of Focker III just saying). She yammers on and on, until Army says, okey dokey, I believe ya, just shut up already, not really, but you get the drift. The phone rings and it is Tia Maria spending the night at Manuels she just wanted to let them know. Army says fine I'll pass the message on. Well El Virus, ain't liking that, oh my sista is such a ho, oh, please shut your yammering pie hole already. Anyway, Army also tells her that Tia Maria will be at the hospital to look in on Cameela tomorrow. My sister the ho, only cares about that guy and not my Cameela, oh please.



And there was a little tete a tete with Angel and Flor at the Only Ice Cream Parlor in Fresno. They are having a little ice cream(and by the way it looked yummy). They are starting to really like each other, as Angel really gazes into her eyes and she blushes.

Doris has a meeting with Brigette the same old same old. If there was anything new please add.

ADVANCES;

El Porko, also known as Focker II, aims and fires the gun at Mariana! Will the bullet find the mark? Tune into tomorrow to find out!

Labels: Talisman