Caray, Caray!

While waiting for Horacio, I'm going to order a dozen mixed nerfazos and one bobble-head Dolores.
 

Excellent recap!! Didn't get to watch the episode but ni modo, I feel like I saw the whole thing. I'm writing this on my phone so can't list all my favorite Mavenisms, but I think your paragraph titles were my favorites.

Novela Maven, thanks again for this terrific recap and for offering to do Thursday's recap
 

Another wonderful NovelaMaven production and now I see there will be TWO recaps from you this week? Squee!

Well, how can I pull out just a few great lines when the recap as a whole is sublime?

Still I'll try:

-Gael grasping at Gold Bond
-Paragraph headers (I second that compliment.)
-the sad coif

I have not watched the episode, but I think it's safe to say that your recap has it all covered...and is probably more entertaining. I think I will find the time to watch the Alfabitch/Gab scene. It sounds wonderful.

Sylvia-Is that a flaming scorpion?
 

NovelaMaven - thank you for the wonderful recap, snark and all! (LOL) Add another dozen to your Nerfazos order, for me, please. A cashier's check is on the way to cover my share.

Thank you for the heads-up re: Wednesday's broadcast. I think there is a soccer(fútbol) game on instead? 5:30 central will have me watching during supper prep & cooking time. Yipes.... let's hope there will be no cuchillazos lanzados toward my TV screen.

Gosh, since PadLoopy's misa final is in such demand, perhaps DamFlor and GaElisa can have a double wedding. Personally, I think they all deserve each other and should live together in a family compound, as a foursome.

Oooh,,,, Sabrina is having abdominal pains and clutching the same. Instead of escaleracide, will it be traumacide, instead? Or OMG-Chente-likes-me-cide?
I can't see this pregnancy going to full term, as it wouldn't really suit the plot, but who knows. Should be interesting, especially to see Flor when.... "she is crying because her steal-a-baby plan is in flames. " (BTW, NM recapper extraordinaire, I had a mouthful of coffee when I read that. Your recaps should come with warning labels.) ;o)

Is Ingrid supposed to wait outside while Gabino 'does' Carmina? Eeewww, that is just so tacky.

I am pithed at the stoopid horse for not tossing GaElisa off its back. Other than that small detail, he is still the smartest character in this Abismo de Tontería.

 

"Abismo de Tontería"

THIS! Perfect description!

I guess I am alone in this, but I kind of like when a TN degenerates into a circo. So much humor and escapism to be had :-)
 

Sara - You are right about the circo aspect. BwaHahahahaha! There was no humor or snark while I was watching LHDM, because it is such a superb telenovela devoid of tontería.

Maybe I need to watch Mejía's next mess, whatever that may be. WHAT am I saying?!?
 

Ah, Mehjia's next mess is a remake of LHDM with Jorge Salinas.

I am giddy with anticipation. eeee!
 

I wasn't done:

TNs are all about the escapism for me, so I don't want no stinkin' reality or logic and it better not get too dark. :-)
 

Novela Maven: A recipe for perfection. I loved every word of your insightful, witty recap this was fantastic.

"...heel-wobbling mad walk","she in her short shorts, he clutching a sheaf of documents and a tube of Gold Bond" and "Chente approaches his sperm donor" - excellent!

Chente, desperately, clumsily seeking love (and a hug) from Gabino and his callous rejection of Braulio's hug was one of the saddest moments of the night. The most pathetic was Chente's delaying and attacking Sabrina. The little reprobate. Sigh.

One might say Gabino's seduction of Carmina was done with slightly more finesse. However, the sight of him loosening his belt buckle and removing his shirt made me want to gag. Spawn and son have no charm and no couth. Period.

Doris, "Or OMG-Chente-likes-me-cide?" Oh my, you are in your usual rare form today (thank heavens! :)

Sara: "so I don't want no stinkin' reality or logic". Good point - me neither!

NovelaMaven, thanks again. This was awesome!!

Diana




 

I am definitely a student of the NovelaMaven School of TN Appreciation and Enjoyment:

Believe it all. Let it wash over you. Drift away. Blissfully surrender your brain.

(I may have embellished.)
 

Well, Sara and I are going to have to have a talk because she keeps getting to faves before I do. Still, I believe in repetition.

The Gold Bond quip followed by "she straddles him with her chapped legs" was wicked, wicked wicked. And I'm a fan of Gold Bond by the way.

The other two gems were "she of the sad coif" (how DO you think of these things, Good Lord!) and all time first prize can't be beat heading:

SAVE THE LAST MASS FOR ME (I'll be hearing a new version of the Donna Summer disco hit all day. You are baaaaad.)

And thanks for the "prestanombres" frontman definition. Another compound! Hallelujah!

Always a treat NovelaMaven. You have a strange and wonderful mind, m'dear. Is there an 800 number where I can order one just like it?
 

My favorite advice for surviving telenovela-watching is on the main page sidebar, that was posted while we were all watching FELS:

'. . . Just let it go, let your brain float like a canned pear half in partially-set red jello...
"Creemelo"'

Good advice. Works for me! ;o)
 

NovelaMaven,

Once again you delivered the perfect recap, especially for those of us relying on our high school Spanish to get us through. Loved understanding all those little insider comments and phrases that went right over my head!

Some of my favorite lines:

Gabino plops down at the table where a huge bowl of very portable fruit is sitting (no knives needed). And along those lines: (what's next? Artichokes? Snails?) Sara, I didn't get a chance to comment yesterday but you so nailed it with the pineapple! Just shows how DUMB Chente is.

Also loved "Flor is crying because her steal a baby plan is in flames"!!

So happy that the gloves are off with Gabino and Alphabitch. I've been wondering QTH Gabino has been sticking around so long. He's got his new ranch, he's got the embezzled money, he's got part of Cielo Alberto (Abierto?), he was long overdue for a "Take this job and shove it!" moment.

And I can't wait to see what Flor is going to do now that her plan is shot. Even if Sabrina doesn't lose the baby, which I'm guessing she will because as Doris pointed out, it doesn't seem to go with the plot, Paolo is outta there.

I also think Gabino and TangelHo are long overdue. I think they're a much more likely couple than Gabino and Curls. I've always found that match a little odd (and boring).

I'm so confused about Augusto/Elisa's lands. How many parts are there? Elisa has her mother's lands, Gabino bought half of Augusto's lands? Is that right?

Thanks again, NM!!

Katy

 

NM, another brilliant, brilliant work of art... and snark...

...she in her short shorts, he clutching a sheaf of documents and a tube of Gold Bond ointment.

He's Lame and she's on the Lam

Flor warns Dam to keep an eye on Paolo -- he HAS TO marry Sabrina.
(was I the only one that thought when Dam whispered 'they're getting married' he was thinking of GaeLisa?)

Enrique slips out and finds Flor in her bedroom. She is crying because her steal-a-baby plan is in flames.

Alfie dismisses him with a series of finger snaps. Once he is gone, she fans herself furiously.

Chente approaches his sperm donor for help. Gabino isn't doing the father thing, sorry kid. But he does peel off a wad of bills for his rotten issue ... Enter Braulio. Chente tells him he's fine but he's in a hurry -- he has girls to torture, kidney transplants to mess up.

Donde Padre Lupe -- Save the last mass for me (funny we have only seen Padre marry one other couple in the whole novela and suddenly he has a waiting line of potential grooms/brides to be 'the last'... at this point, even Paloma seems to be acting smarter and more mature than Gael so i am splitting between her table and Where is Horacio a.k.a. 'Godot' table)

I really don't want to see a double wedding in the end, DamLisa and GaLoma should have their own separate moments. Don't think they will take the spotlight off DamLisa as the main couple.
I still think it makes much more sense for a QuiLoma ending couple... and Gael riding into the sunset to start over somewhere else...

Sara, right there with you that this is turning into an abismo circus... makes me feel even more quivery about the remake of LMDM in same producer's hands.



 

LHDM was such a great telenovela, there is NO WAY I can bring myself to watch Mejía's version of it. I couldn't watch his circo version of CS, either. Sacrilege.
 

When my daughter was younger, she used to be part of a local improv comedy group. In those "performances", the line between actors and audience was blurred and what emerged in the course of an evening was a true collaboration -- the folks on stage riffing off each other and the people at the tables (who often enough, ended up on stage as well).

Recapping here in the Pit kind of reminds me of that. Before I commit to any novela, I should find out if, for example, Doris is going to be watching.

"OMG-Chente-likes-me-cide" LMAO funny!

Or the always eloquent Diana who can even spare a little pity for that "little reprobate" Chente.

Or JudyB on a busman's holiday here in the Pits, always able to find Gold (Bond) amid the dross.

As to my Sisters in Snark, Sara and Sylvia -- well the Abismo isn't abysmal when you funny ladies are around.

Gracias a todas!
 

Hi Katy,

Thanks for the nice words. (We miss you when you're not here, you know!)

About the lands:

1. Elisa inherits outright her ma's lands, i.e., the invernadero. She used them as collateral for the usurious loan from Alfabitch (she needed the money to get Augusto out of jail). Now, thanks to Dam's deal with his demon ma, she owns these lands again.

2. Carmina became owner of 50% of Cielo Abierto when she married Augusto. When he died, his 50% went to his survivors, Elisa and Carmina. That means Car gets 75% and Elisa 25%.

3. Gabs, as Alfie's prestanombres, was negotiating with Augusto for the sale of Cielo Abierto. But he never signed the contract. Gabs simply pocketed Alfie's money which was intended as a downpayment of 50%.

If the contract had been valid (if Augie had signed and money had changed hands), Gab would have had the right to 50% of that land or Car and Elisa would have had to return the money.

Since the contract was forged, Gab really had no right to anything. So really, Carmina sold herself at the right price, that is "zilch".

Clear as mud?
 

Marta, you are so nice! Thank you, amiga!

"(was I the only one that thought when Dam whispered 'they're getting married' he was thinking of GaeLisa?)"

Not at all -- I noticed that too!

Don't you think that a big part of the comedy of the whole Hacienda Harango scene was how they all had their own agendas?
------

Mejí and LHDM? Only if they sing on key.
 

NovelaMaven- You captured the strange comedy of errors that was happening at Hacienda Arango perfectly. Yes, I do think that a big part of the amusement came from the fact that every one of them had their own agenda, many of them at cross-purposes, and yet they were all freaking out about the same thing-- missing, knocked up Sabrina.

And just when I'd settled into this episode, thinking we have nothing but an episode of much ado about nothing, BAM! Gab finally makes his move and tells Alfie exactly what he thinks of her, and goes rogue!

Funniest moments-- Sabrina smacking the pineapple taste out of Chente's mouth, TWICE, even as she was in the midst of a miscarriage. And Ingrid pacing, outside, in the dark, next to the horse, as the two blonde, blue-eyed demons copulated inside the blue house.
 

NM, an absolute gem of a recap. I know last night was supposed to be high drama, but darn, if I didn't just chuckle through the whole thing. It's getting so insane and some of the characters so over the top ( but in a TN campy way), that I just couldn't wipe the smile from my face.

He may not be even remotely a good guy, but boy that Gab put down of Alfi was a hoot to watch. He was relishing every minute, man had a lot of pent up resentment. And leaving her with the "all men leave", priceless.

And Flo is going to have to move to, what Plan now? Are we at C, D or E? And that QuiQui scene pretty much confirmed my deductions of last week, that the predictable pairings will be our end result, whether we like it or not.

Be-gon-ya was a hoot too last night, but I think this whole experience has put the nail in the coffin for the good Doc to reconcile with his nutty wife.

Poor II, being stuck outside, tendrils drooping from the humidity...couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. Now, what will Gab do with her I wonder? He's got his Creamsicle, he doesn't need her. Anvil lining up....(By the way, yesterday was National Creamsicle Day--how appropo that Gab was indulging).

Chente is disgusting and I'm sorry- not working on all cylinders. I agree with your title--get the help for Sabrina, and then a good psyche eval for yourself.

If Elisa caves to smoochies with Dam tonight....I wonder about the writers. I know they will wind up together, but dang, he's married and with a baby on the way ( as far as they know), she's engaged to Gael...c'mon.

I'll be commuting home while the show is on tonight. Will have top catch up with Hulu+ later.


 

Sara, YES that is a Flaming Scorpion. Enough for two (or more ). Wanna share?

Love the comments. What a great group of hilarious free thinkers.
 

Thanks NovelaMaven. Hilarious. My favorite:

"Paolo is taunting Toña in the kitchen. It looks like so much fun that Gabino joins in."

Poor Toña, she gets abused by the good guys as well as the bad guys and I don't get the sense that she'd be mourned much if she dropped off the face of the earth. She may be one of the most inconvenient characters ever.

Does she have a support group? A table? I get the feeling that the only one who'd miss her is Alfonsina.

Carlos
 

Hah, Vivi, "comedy of errors" is right. I'm surprised you could narrow the comic moments down to two favorites. I hope we're not offending any readers who are taking this dreck to heart (though I suspect they gave up on the Pit Crew long ago), but the humor in this thing just keeps getting better. I don't know how the actors manage to keep a straight face in some of those scenes.

Daisynjay,

I see you just said basically the same thing though maybe a little better! And this:

"By the way, yesterday was National Creamsicle Day--how appropos that Gab was indulging"

How brilliant of Univisión to schedule the episode around this under-appreciated day! And how lucky we are to have you here to remind us of it.

I also loved this line of yours:

"Poor II, being stuck outside, tendrils drooping from the humidity...couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. "

I wonder if Ingrid knows how to ride. If she does, she should jump on that horse and get out of Dodge -- or at least away from the Blue House of Shame. She ought to know by now that Gabino is the one that got away -- with her money. But Gweedo is nibbling at the bait. Time to reel him in, Curly!
 

"Does [Toña] have a support group? A table?"

I don't think so, Carlos. Not even a dam dashboard bobble-head.

Still, I'm sure that mini bandanahand man would miss her -- eventually.
 

OMG OMG OMG -- "She knew if she kept them in the cage together, sooner or later they would mate." PURE. RECAPPING.GOLD.

(Is it wrong for me to want a t-shirt that says "facilota y buscona"? How about if I promise to only wear it on the Patio?)
 

Padre needs to give a sermon (before his last Mass) on modesty, aimed especially at Elisa's choice of clothing (short shorts, pants way too tight, and plunging necklines worn for funerals, etc.) Gold bond will not take the place of modesty.
 

"Is it wrong for me to want a t-shirt that says "facilota y buscona"? How about if I promise to only wear it on the Patio?"

It depends on your table, Blue Lass. Waiting for Horacio? No way. Your boy is a tad chapado a la antigua and might be put off. And prissy Dam too -- wait, that's right, he doesn't even have a table.

Otherwise, you're golden.
 

NM,
not offending any readers who are taking this dreck to heart (though I suspect they gave up on the Pit Crew long ago), but the humor in this thing just keeps getting better. I don't know how the actors manage to keep a straight face in some of those scenes.

speaking only for myself, as much as I LOVE the Rene Casados/Mark Tacher scenes, i am the first one to say 'guilty' to having tuned to Abismo lately for the fun of it and to read the snark later... it is really turning into a circus especially around the Alfie/Gab/Carmina/Paolo/Flo/Dam circles.
 

Blue Lass,
LOL! on your idea for the 'for use in the Patio only by members only' tee shirt brand.
 

"speaking only for myself, as much as I LOVE the Rene Casados/Mark Tacher scenes, i am the first one to say 'guilty' to having tuned to Abismo lately for the fun of it"

Whew, I'm relieved to hear that, Marta!

As for the Rene/Mark scenes, you have to admit they've always been a hoot -- not so much DIRECTED as CHOREOGRAPHED.
 

Anon 12:15

"Padre needs to give a sermon (before his last Mass) on modesty, aimed especially at Elisa's choice of clothing"

Yup, Anon, the wardrobe department has done some weird things with our protagonista's look. (I suppose someone out there is happy with their choices.)
 

Doris-I am sorely tempted to prepare a pear half in red jello this weekend. Then photograph it and make it my avatar.

Obviously for me, Caray has become more than about "keeping up with a TN."

Now back to reading the rest of the comments.
 

Sylvia, I will gladly share some of your flaming scorpion!

Blue Lass- I will take one of those T-shirts!
 

NM thanks for another excellent recap. Poor silly Chente not only needs to get help but needs help himself. Diana's assessment of the little reprobate (though I'd call him worse) is spot on.

I wish Gabino has said more to Fina like the woman you've hated all your life didn't sleep w/your husband but that must be 50 more episodes down the line. And now that he has had Orangeho, will he turn on her as well as all villains do?

daisynjay - yes the writers don't respect viewers when they have couples who've declared undying love to renounce it every 5 minutes. And extension just at to more bad behavior and more beanies.

Sara, thanks for your recap. I wasn't able to read it until very late last night. And ITA about no darkness in TN, too close to reality.
 

Said like a true Amorcito Fan, Karen LOL.
 

NM,

Thank you for that excellent clarification of the lands and who owns what.

And thanks for the nice words about when I'm not here. I'm embarrassed to admit this but I am actually here EVERY DAY! But with a kid in elementary, one in middle school and one in high school, I don't always get on in time to comment. I don't think I've missed one Caray recap this whole season because you guys are SO DARN FUNNY! (And educational)

Thanks again!

Katy
 

Karen,

"Now that [Gabino] has had OrangeHo, will he turn on her as well...?"

Interesting question. Maybe Ramona would say that these two truly were born to be together. They sort of resemble each other and often they dress alike. They do seem like kindred spirits.

If they stuck together, it would make things easier for Horacio, who is gunning for them both. Why a single anvil might do the trick -- always a consideration with the prices the Acme Anvil Company has been asking lately.
 

NM - I have to agree with the others on how delightful this was. So many .kudos to your gold bond line. That was hilarious. I also loved "all this orangitude".

Looking forward to watching this episode when I get home.
 

Wasn't there an old song about Gabino and Carmina...?

"Ah shut up, silly woman, said that reptile with a grin, You knew darn well I was a snake before you took me in..."
 

My pleasure, Katy!

I remember those days of three kids in three different schools -- I'm amazed you find the time to stop here to comment as often as you do. I'm happy to think of you reading and getting a chuckle out of what we write and maybe, like the rest of us, learning a bit of Spanish along the way.

[Of course the Pit Crew of Sara, EJ, Marta, Cap'n Sylvia, Cynderella, and Blue Lass are pretty darn good reasons to hang out here.]
 

Hey, I don't need a reason to hang out here -- I need a compelling reason to *leave.*

What? Work AGAIN?
 

R la O, Thanks! It IS a pretty funny episode, especially when you've recorded it and get to choose which parts to skip.

Blue Lass, OMG, that IS a real song -- "The Snake"! I thought you were making it up.

BTW, I'm glad you liked my "... sooner or later they would mate". I must confess that, if I had to pick one line that I wasn't totally embarrassed by, that would be it.
 

Embarrassed? EMBARRASSED? This is artistry here!
 

Awwww shucks, BL
 

NM (and all the others you mentioned in the pit crew!),

I so TOTALLY agree that all of you are darn good reasons to hang out! The recappers AND the bloggers add so much levity and brightness to my day. Ergo my perfect attendance record!

:)

Katy
 

Does Katy get an award for perfect attendance? Some kinda little crocheted thingy, maybe?
 

How on earth do our recappers make these silly, absurdo episodes funny? NM, every word was solid gold, but I note these few gems:

“Burn the contract Augusto signed and all this orangitude is yours!”

“A poor horse waits outside with only Ingrid, pacing, pacing, to keep him company.”

“[Alfabitch] knew if she kept them in the cage together, sooner or later they would mate.”

Absolutely fabulous....thanks.

My grandsons are watching a new cartoon called the Annoying Orange. It consists of an orange with big white teeth, “annoying” all the other hapless fruit around it....the Annoying Orange cartoon, National Creamsicle Day, the Orange Killer, this feels a little like beginning of “The Birds” except with oranges!!!

Neighbor Doris, you’re on fire today. May I come to your house for dinner?

What would a MN recap day be without a little geeky-grammer? I’m minding my own business watching a little of Por Ella Soy Eva and a woman, who seems to have been assaulted by her husband,(?) says, “[He]acaba de hacer un numerazo.” I’m probably leaving out some of the Spanish, but, she’s saying, “He just did a number[hit] on me.” Yes? Did I find another *azo* watchamacallit?

Pardon me for saying this, but the succumbing to the lovin’ feelings scene with Enrique and Flor needs a redo, the next time with better choreography. Awkward, awkward, awkward....

Ditto what everyone has said today....too many good comments to quote them all.
 

"Does Katy get an award for perfect attendance? Some kinda little crocheted thingy, maybe?"

In a perfect world, Blue Lass, yes. But Emilia's not around today and all the knits from the ramerawear at Tal*Mart were picked clean long ago.

Maybe Katy would like a custom-made nerfazo instead?

Sandy in TN,

I am just thrilled that you are collecting -azo's in unlikely places and bringing them back here to NerdWorld where they will be appreciated.

And what's going on down there in TN anyway? You and Doris are really on a roll!

[I had heard the "Annoying Orange" was the working title for "Abismo de pasión", but that might just be a rumor. Or maybe I made it up. jijiji]
 

Hahaha!!! I will settle for a broken amulet or a pineapple! It's the thought that counts!

Katy
 

I really don't have much to add.

I just wanted to show off my new avatar. Not a pear in jell-o (yet) but it is in keeping with the atmosphere on the patio.
 

Funny recap!

Gabby and Carmina have no shame!
 

Love the pineapple (again with no knife), Sara!
 

Sara, I love your avatar!! Now I have to fess up; I actually made a pineapple jello salad last fourth of July, yes it was green on the leaf part and yellow on the bottom. I know I took a picture of it but I think it is on my camera. Which I don't have. Darn.
 

Sylvia, how very Utah of you.
 

Thanks m'dear. That's me, Klass with a capital K.
 

Y'all think I"m kidding. Just wait...
 

I interviewed for a job in Nebraska on Hallowe'en once, and they had a big ol' potluck staff party that included both a jello-mold human brain and a jello-mold human heart. Good times.