Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Abismo de pasión #144 10//8/12: Instructions for trapping the man of your dreams
- Find a horny guy, preferably one who lives in a rectory under the watchful eye of a priest.
- Throw yourself at him in his rectory bedroom. This should be done when the priest is expected home any minute. This will give him a taste of whatʼs to come.
- Try to commit suicide when he says he doesnʼt love you. If you succeed, there is no need to proceed to step 4.
- Bare yourself to him when you are alone at the cenote. Proceed with the sexual encounter. Do not use contraception of any form, repeat, do not use any contraception.
If youʼve done all the steps above and he still does not want you:
- Repeat step 4 as many times as necessary until you get pregnant.
- Threaten to leave town. Tell everyone but the father of your baby that you are
pregnant.
- Right before you are scheduled to leave town, have your best friend tell the babyʼs father that you are pregnant by him, and have her insist he do the right and honorable thing. It may take some coaxing on her part, so be sure you choose the right friend to do the job.
- Once your friend convinces him, wait at home until he comes over to talk. He will be by shortly. When he is done with his spiel about doing the right and responsible thing by asking you to marry him, turn him down. This is an important step, do not leave it out. It will only make him plead his case in a more forceful way.
- Once he repeats his appeals, you can relax. You are in the home stretch. Add some tears, take a long pause as if you are actually thinking about the offer and then breathlessly say yes.
I was in a foul mood after watching this episode when I wrote this, so please excuse my nastiness. And I didnʼt watch with CCʼs, so forgive any mistakes in translation.
Large fake breasted bikini wearing Paloma tells large fake breasted bikini wearing Elisa that she loves Gael so much that if she canʼt have him, sheʼs happy that she can at least have his baby.(gag me)
Lupe comes to the realization that Rosendoʼs will leaves everything to his offspring and nothing to greedy Alfobitch. He wonders what he saw her burn, if it wasnʼt the will.
Doc and Enrique are in his office and he calls Flo to come in. A man from the police station wants to talk to her. They found a body by the side of the road and they think itʼs Paolo. She needs to identify the body. She cries and Enrique comforts her.
Braulio sees Elisa at the procesadora and asks how sheʼs doing. She feels sad but she reaches beyond her self-importance to ask what he is going to do with the bonus money. He tells her he bought a house. And since he is a house owner now, he wants to formally carry Lolitaʼs milk. Chente comes over and Brau asks Elisa if itʼs ok that he hired him to work there. Of course itʼs ok and after Brau leaves, Elisa tells Chente that sheʼs glad that he changed his attitude toward his not real dad. Useless Chente gives the canned speech about how heʼs realized that Gab is bad dad and Brau is good dad, just like bad dad taught him to.
Flo arrives at the morgue to ID the body. The sheet is pulled back but only Flo gets to see what Paolo looks like after heʼs been dead for a couple of weeks.
Gab and Carmina are in the kitchen and he wants to know whatʼs to eat. She sarcastically offers different meals to him. He gives her money to buy groceries. She asks if sheʼs his servant and is she supposed to cater to him, clean and cook his meals? This makes his bullet hurt. He says until he finds someone, she has to do it. She asks if he is going to get rid of her biggest problem, Lupe. He says he will and he expects a hot meal and a hot bed when he gets back.
Enrique takes Flo to dine after leaving the morgue. Thereʼs nothing like wanting to eat a meal after seeing a dead body thatʼs been laying in the hot Yucatan summer for 2 weeks. Enrique reminds Flo that Paolo wasnʼt a saint and isnʼt worth crying over. (Altair has one of the worst fake cries of any actress Iʼve seen, Iʼm glad she didnʼt get the role of Elisa in this TN.) She says that Paolo was leaving town, he was done with this place, and he couldnʼt leave it fast enough. Sheʼs sad because Paolo was all she had left for family, and now she feels completely alone in the world. Boohoo.
If itʼs Thursday, itʼs catfight day at the open air market. Lolita runs into Antonia. Antonia goes after Lolita because sheʼs mad that Braulio is now going to carry Lolitaʼs milk and not hers anymore. Carmina shows up and Lola comments very loudly what a surprise to see Carmina shopping for herself. How the mighty have fallen. Just then Begonia also arrives and puts her two centavos in about Carmina being a husband stealer. Carmina and Begonia trade insults back and forth airing each otherʼs dirty laundry, but no one in the market seems to care very much about the old biddyʼs bidness. Begonia finally slaps Carmina and the patio erupts into a loud cheer. Carmina puts her produce back and leaves.
Lola is frying something in the kitchen when Brau walks in. She places the product that sheʼs cooking in full view of the camera, except I canʼt see what it is. Product placement fail! He tells her that Chente is going to start working at the proce and has denounced Gabino. Lola is happy about that. He says that Elisa seems a bit melancholy. Lola agrees that sheʼs been sad, but she a strong person too. Elisa has not even cried once yet today. Brau has a surprise for her and wants to show it to her later. (Boom chica wow wow music starts to play)
Gab finally pulls his truck to a stop, gets out and runs into Useless Chente. Gab is cursing and his bullet hurts. Gab asks how his plan is going, and Chente tells him that itʼs so easy to dupe these naive estupidos. No wonder you got so rich off of them.
Gael stops in to see Paloma. Refer to step 8 in the above instructions to find out what happened.
Ramona sees Elisa at the cenote ruminating about her troubles. Ramona tells Elisa that Gael is asking Paloma to marry him. Elisa is happy about this. This is what Paloma has wanted all her life. Ramona thinks itʼs a big mistake to marry a man who doesnʼt love her. Elisa thinks itʼs better for a kid to have parents even if they donʼt love each other than to not have parents at all. Ramona disagrees.
Brau brings Lolita to his new pad. The house is the surprise he wants to show her. She loves it. He wants her to decorate it. She should talk to Gabino to get decorating advice. I just noticed how nice Braulioʼs teeth are.
Flo is still crying about Paolo, this time with Doc.
Gab comes home and Carmina is wondering if he did in the padre. Not yet, he tells her she has to wait. She doesnʼt like that answer. This makes Gabʼs bullet hurt. Gab tells Carmina that a body was found by the side of the road, and that he thinks itʼs got to be Paoloʼs. All this worrying is making his bullet hurt even more. He asks how the shopping went and she tells him about her run in with the ladies and that she got slapped by Begonia. She goes inside to make a phone call. She uses a rotary phone!!! (Does anyone even know how to use those anymore? I once showed one to my daughter when we were at an antique store. She couldnʼt believe we used to use them. I had to show her how they worked.) She calls the police, she knows the phone number by heart without looking it up and disguises her voice. She leaves an anonymous tip -- That body they found by the roadside? That was no random assault. Someone put out a hit on that man!
Paloma is on cloud nine. She followed the instructions to a tee and it worked perfectly. She canʼt believe how easy it was. She just needed to be patient. Ramona is not happy about this, insisting that it wonʼt end well when Gael has repeatedly said he doesnʼt love her. Paloma doesnʼt hear a word sheʼs saying. Sheʼs thinking about who she can pass the instructions on to. Perhaps Elisa. She could really use the instructions right now. Sheʼs already up to step 4. And for all we know, maybe even step 5.
The weekend is here and Paloma is dressed in her wedding dress with that same sick happy face she had on earlier when she was in dreamyland talking to Ramona. Her makeup is making her look like a mannequin. Elisa and Lola are helping her get ready. She thanks Elisa for helping her trap her man.
Damian is bringing Alf back home. She wants to know where Lupe is. Antonia tells her that heʼs at Gaelʼs wedding right now. Damstoopid assumes that Gael is marrying Elisa and he runs out the door to see for himself.
Whoa! Gael got a haircut. He looks miserable, as well he should. Heʼs in white again for this wedding too. Padre is reminding him that this will be the first day of the rest of his miserable life from now on. Learn to like it.
The wedding has started. Gael walks down the aisle with Delores first. Dam shows up just then. They stare at each other. Then the bride enters with Padre. Iʼll give Paloma this, that is one stunning wedding dress. Before she gets too far, she lifts up her veil to reveal to Dam that itʼs Paloma, not Elisa. He breathes a huge sigh of relief. Once the bride is in place, the queen of the day enters. Elisa walks in making a grand entrance wearing a pretty pink sundress and saunters down the aisle with all eyes on her. Dam starts to cry in relief. He really is crying, tears are flowing. Elisa looks prettier than the bride, if I say so myself. Sheʼs not over made up like Paloma is.
By Cathyx
Labels: abismo
I can't remember a TN that kept the second fiddle who married someone so miserable and admitting he really wasn't happy about who he wound up with. But for the occasion, the patio downed a drink to the couple, Pal in all her "gotcha" grinning mode and Gael for winning the Most Miserable Bridegroom of the Year award. Oh, and for Dam who cried tears of joy knowing those boobs are now ALL HIS!
They do love to find the bodies after time passes in this TN. I'm sure we are going to find the good Padre on the growing body-count list before this is over. Handing the file to Gael--yeah, he's toast and he knows it. And Gael will finally know he's comin' into some nice buckolas. ( you can hire a good divorce lawyer later with those dollars my dear.)
And Begonia - she has made herself one nasty enemy. So let's see what Carmina comes up with as a sweet revenge. You know she's gonna....
You did a fabulous job from the helpful "checklist" at the start to the less than starry-eyed description of the wedding scene at the end. I particularly liked the Rumble in the Jungle, that is to say "Catfight Day" at the market -- both the scene itself and your description of it.
Thanks for keeping us all Singin' in the Rain of Anvils that was hovering over this entire episode.
Do you believe in magic? (Those of you who are of a certain age will now be stuck with an earworm all day.) jejejeje
Thanks NM for posting.
LOVED your ‘trapping the man of your dreams ..’ checklist…
Other favs and some comments…
Sheʼs had the wedding dress picked out since that day you threw a dirt clod at her in your underwear.
Chente gives the canned speech about how heʼs realized that Gab is bad dad and Brau is good dad, just like bad dad taught him to.
Enrique takes Flo to dine after leaving the morgue. Thereʼs nothing like wanting to eat a meal after seeing a dead body thatʼs been laying in the hot Yucatan summer for 2 weeks.
Padre is overjoyed by the news. … well, that is an understatement, padre literally picks up Gael off the floor with the embrace and then Gael is concerned about Padre’s back since Padre winces down in pain… it reminds me of their earlier scenes… FINALLY a scene with Gael and Padre worth remembering again… (the goodbye at rectory scene last week was good too, though)
Also, in that scene since Gael told him it looked intentional attempt at his life, Padre gets concerned, at least now the anvil will be more front page/focus for Padre… we can only hope he will watch his back from here on out.
Gael stops in to see Paloma. Refer to step 8 in the above instructions to find out what happened.
Yeah I agree, it’s not worth repeating. I was gagging up enough and then he came up with the stupid line about don’t do it for me, don’t do it for you, do it for our child, so he won’t suffer the same fate we did (no parents around).
Too bad they can’t program speed dials on rotary phones … lol
Gael sees Elisa as heʼs leaving Palomaʼs hut. … but that he still loves Elisa. Never will he stop loving her and only her. She leaves. He looks after her and thinks that he was this close to having those boobies all to himself.
I could not believe Gael went this low… he just came out of Paloma’s hut and now is telling Elisa … only say one word and things will all change… REALLY? Is he willing to run back to Paloma’s and say ‘well, thanks for agreeing, but no thanks, I am with Elisa’. REALLY?? SMUCK!! And Paloma is double smuck for agreeing to this marriage.
Ramona is SOOOO right in more ways than I care to count… but have to be honest… this is so silly I don’t care about Gael-oma anymore… I am here to see how Carmina, Alfie and Gabino get their due anvils in the end.
(Paloma)’s thinking about who she can pass the instructions on to. Perhaps Elisa. LOL!!
Did anyone notice that Ramona agreed to make a pair of love amulets for Paloma and Gael as a wedding gift?
I haven't even seen the entire ep top to bottom, was busy watching the Orioles/Yankees game... but now i will be watching for that when i do watch this aft. thanks for the heads up! that is too funny!
Isn't it funny that the most functional couple in this is the dysfunctional Carmina and Gabino? I really enjoy their domestic scenes.
The farmers' market offered such possibilities that went unrealized... all those beautiful fruits and vegetables and nary a single toss. Pity. Once again Begoña demonstrated her swatting versatility... this time with the use of a delicate fan. She struck like a rattlesnake... excellent.
Carlos
Find a horny guy, preferably one who lives in a rectory under the watchful eye of a priest.
that is a LETHAL combination! LOL!!
Favorite lines:
- Lupe is walking down the street. Heʼs feeling like such a badboy now that heʼs sporting a red ascot.
- Product placement fail!
- Lola agrees that sheʼs been sad, but she a strong person too. Elisa has not even cried once yet today.
- Brau has a surprise for her and wants to show it to her later. (Boom chica wow wow music starts to play)
And hey, Florencia must have gotten paid -- she bought a second strap for her office dress. Maybe next month she'll get sleeves.
The avances have Dam boasting to Elisa: "How much you wanna bet that ours is the next wedding?"
Me, I hope he's wrong. I'd like Dolores and Braulio to tie the knot first. The punks can wait. They still have a lot to sort out.
Also -- the flashback of Alfie burning a document shows the word "Testamento". So it was some kind of will. A later one that specifically acknowledged Gael? or someone else?
Why did she keep ANY will? She was better off having people assume her husband died intestate. Oops, there I go again expecting plot points to make sense. Sorry.
But I have nothing but words of praise for you snarky/cranky recap Cathy. Fabulous list of steps for catching a man in Abismo world.LOL!
I liked this episode and was jealous that I didn't get to recap it. The market slap-with-a-fan scene was awesome. I laughed and rewound and laughed again. That Begona could teach advanced slapping.There were a bunch of hilarious little bits tucked in here and there. I think the actors are having a field day with this hot mess. Gabino's little tics and grunts, Carmina's pop-eye rolls, Padre's portending mutterings, Lolita cooking the same product placed meal over and over, Elisa's shorts that keep getting shorter...it just never ends.
When Padre made that crack about Rosendo maybe having other offspring I immediately thought GABINO!! Could it be? Nah! But wouldn't old hankie-hand love to think so?
Cathy, thank you for your superb recap. And Novela Maven, thank you for posting it and for today's ear worm. I Think I Love You...hey I just got my ear worm cure song! And you might as well Stop Making Sense. OK I swear I'll stop now. I think I had one pitcher too many on the patio last night and my arm is sore from throwing bananas.
Sylvia, I thought of Gabino, too, but that would make Paloma and Gael related, so -- yuck.
Martaivett, Gael going from asking Paloma to marry him to asking Elisa to take him back takes a lot of nerve. He must really really want to see those boobies.
Carlos, the ladies did show remarkable restraint in not throwing the vegetables. Tomatoes would have been fun to see splattered on Carmina.
BlueLass, I love your comment on Flo's dress. A couple more paychecks and she will be able to dress respectably for the doctor's office.
Karmageddon Poll
As with the one for LQNPA this will be posted daily until five episodes before the finale date. You need a Google account and a unique identity to vote so there will be no stuffing of the ballot boxes. You can change your vote any time up till the last day. There are multiple options per villain as a disfigured villain can also go mad or end up in prison.
This is a simplified poll and will have no further elements added.
Carmina, the TangelHo
Asylum
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes
Gabino, the Sleazebag
Asylum
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes
Horacio, the Unfortunate
Asylum
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes
Alfonsina, the Botox Queen
– Redemption
Asylum
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes
Chente, Sleazebag Jr.
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes
Florencia, the Trust Fund Brat
Marriage
Work
Moves Away
BeGoneYa, the Trash Talker
Reconciliation with the doc
Banishment
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes
Padre Guadalupe
Moves Away
Moves in with Damien and Elisa
Becomes Episcopalian and remains a Padre
Meets a good woman and becomes a padre
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes
Yes, Sylvia, my thoughts exactly. Really, I'm happy as a pig in potatoes with the show in general. It is so chock full of nutty goodness. And the Orange Queen keeps commanding: "Off with their heads!"
Maybe Flor is Rosendo's child, but Dam is not. Wouldn't that be a twist! Except Dam and Gael have the same rare blood type...
It did seem they were hinting at Rosie having other kids, though... maybe Sabrina? Perhaps snooty Begone wanted a taste of Alfie's life more than she's let on?
Paloma, Gael, and Elisa are all too stupid to tolerate. I can't even think of an appropriate gift to give P&G to celebrate their happily never after. Handcuffs, I guess.
i would add some kind of 'sacrifice' under death to Horacio,
also burned face to all the villain death options...
and muteness under BeGoneYa, she would really suffer if she could not spread gossip via her big mouth.
Have to say seeing Gael running to put his life on the line to save Pa'padre brought the old Gael back even for a moment... and also during that follow-up scene where Padre picks up Gael.
as far as Padre wondering who would be Rosie's other child... hmmm... i seriously doubt he would have anything to do with BeGoneYa so it would not be any Tovar.
I agree that Gabino would be a sickening option.
I wonder if Alfie is very dislexic and Rosie made a later will which included Carmina and Alfie did not distinguish 'Carmina' from 'Estefania'...
We all knew Gael already was aware of his blood type... i think we heard Loopy say something about an incident when Gael was a kid... what if Rosie found out about it? Or maybe it was just that Rosie left some monthly funds for Gael's support to continue even after his death... but it has to be something that Alfie knew about if she knew she had to burn the will.
an appropriate gift to give P&G to celebrate their happily never after. Handcuffs, I guess.
TOO funny!!!
Your recap reflected PERFECTLY my mood after watching the show. I am so disgusted at the writers (Fluffy!) for the way they are writing Gael. His character is so inconsistent! One minute, he's lovable Gael again, saving Padre Lupe and saying "you need to stick around for my hijo!" High fivin' with Padre L., like he's seen the light. Then, he's making a heartfelt speech to Paloma that literally brought tears to my eyes. THEN, two seconds later, he's back to evil Gael telling Elisa it doesn't change a thing and one word and he'll go back to her. Por Dios, Gael! Give. it. a. rest! In some ways, he and Pal are the perfect pair because he can't take no from Elisa and she can't take no from him. They're both pathetic.
I thought Paloma looked drop dead gorgeous in her wedding dress all decked out. Unfortunately, Elisa traded hairstyles with her so now SHE has the wild, kinky hair. That girl can't land on a good hairstyle in this show.
I agree with everyone who thinks Elisa might be pregnant. I think it will be poetic justice to the Alpha Beyotch who so desperately wants a grandchild that the way she's getting the grandchild is through Elisa. Dam Stoopid will, of course, be overjoyed.
Avances of Dam and Elisa fighting at the boda. What in God's green acre do they have to fight about NOW!?!
Thanks, Cathy. An especially witty recap of a frustrating episode.
Katy
Hey -- how about Enrique as a third Arango brother? Begoña is insufferable but she's a gorgeous woman and must have been even more so 25 years ago. And her prudishness fits as a sort of "reaction formation" or behavior that is opposite to her true nature or desires.
We KNOW Rosendo picked good-looking, dreadful women to have his way with while he pined, Gael-like, for the unattainable Estefanía.
Disclaimer: I am ALWAYS wrong about this stuff. Just can't get on that simian wave length for nothin'.
Loved:
- she's had the wedding dress picked out since that day you through a dirt clod at her in your underwear
- Braulio wants to formally carry Lolita's milk
- glad Altair didn't get the role of Elisa
- Product Placement Fail
All I've seen so far is the tail end where Paloma the Mannequin is getting ready for the wedding. It IS a beautiful dress and really made her waist look tiny.
I liked the serene / happy look on Flo's face as she saw Dam breath a sign of relief. It must feel so good to get that Alfi weight off her shoulders.
Blue - LOL to your 2nd strap comment!
Cathyx - I predict Gael and Paloma will get the Happy Vibe once they put on their amulets...and we'll have come full circle.
Rosemary la Otra
I think that whatever happens to Gabino and Horacio, they will be linked in some way.
Carlos
Really!
I missed this episode (had to watch HIMYM with the hubby) and won't have time to watch my recording. Thank you again!
Did anyone else see this?
Clara
I'd love for Begone to be injured and stuck in one of those hospitalized states where she can't move or talk, but is aware and can hear everyone gossiping about her.
Alfie needs to have a stroke and be left paralyzed on one side, and left penniless. Obviously Dam will take care of her, but she won't be able to call the shots any more.
Cathyx - I wanted to mention another of your wonderful lines: Lupe is feeling like such a badboy now that he's sporting his red ascot. LOL
Obviamente, Lupe let the artista de maquillaje practice on him before they did up Paloma. How much guy- liner and rouge does one ex-priest need?
I LOVED when Lupe got so excited about Gael's proposal that he lifted Gael up and threw out his back.
Cathyx, Thanks for an excellent recap, bad mood or not. You set the tone with your "rules."
Clara
http://televisa.esmas.com/entretenimiento/telenovelas/abismo-de-pasion/
Clara - this site (linked above) has the surname as 'Gonzalez' so I guess that is it.
Let me second, third and fourth every line quoted as well as the Amazing List for Trapping a Galan. You were just cookin' the whole recap. Will be laughing about Braulio wanting to "formally carry Lolita's milk" forever! And I too noted the Brau's fine teeth last night. He is just delicious. I admire Lolita's restrain with this hunkalicious guy.
Sorry to be so late checking in...Computer problems again. But you were worth the wait!
Rosemary and Carlos, you guys are on to something with the amulets for Gael/Paloma and Ramona's reaction to Paloma's request...
'be careful what you wish for' face to Paloma..
if this works maybe Ramona should be marketing her amulet sets (sort of like BFF necklace sets) on the web, then they will be able to get a house in town like Braulio did. and even a new 2012 horse wagon!...
Sooo...no possibility of redemption for Chente? He's loathsome...but young...Hoping he can be turned around, tho' I admit there's not much time left.
Thanks for offering us all kinds of possibilities for ruling the Telenovela Universe.
Maybe Rosendo's other child has yet to make an appearance. Like bringing in Carito, maybe the monkeys have something new up their banana peels.
What could happen when or if Pal and Gael get amulets? Aren't they made for people to fall in love with each other? Or does that only happen if they both love each other to begin with?
Thanks, Cathy for a wonderfully snarky recap. I loved it.
Anita from over on Refugio and AB
Carmina
Gabino
Augusto
Edmundo
(possibly)Guadalupe
I wouldn't put it past Carmina/Gabino to make a play for the Arango fortune through Augusto Jr.'s estate.
Because Paloma is currently pregnant with one of Rosendo's heirs I don't think Gabino is one of Rosendo's heirs, because that would mean Paloma got pregnant by her uncle and is now pregnant with her own first cousin.
OK - Gabino has to have some kind of run-in with fire again. I think his hand bandana is there to hide a burn he got when he burned down Elisa's invernadero way back when. This needs to be revealed. And that Alfie ordered it.
But for poetic justice - Gabino should die by being buried alive, since he delivered that cruel death to another human.
We just WANT it to make sense. It doesn't.
Fabulous recap, Cathy. Keep writing when you are cranky, you do great work.I Share your annoyance with last night's epi. What year is this anyway???
Rotary phones?
Entrapped boyfriends?
Gabino expects Carmina to feed him?
Thanks again, CathyX, for a dandy recap. Hang in there, we must reach he end soon.
Smiles.
EJ
Vivi, I loved your comment, "I have no words for the crap that went down in last night's episode. Really Paloma? Have you no dignity?"
<< Home
© Caray, Caray! 2006-2022. Duplication of this material for use on any other site is strictly prohibited.