Caray, Caray!

Thanks for this hilarious recap Novela Maven, otherwise what a boring wedding party.I was wondering since you said that this couple acts like they're married twenty years instead of twenty minutes,why does it look like a beginning of a story where the wife would suffer with the son and the loveless husband and in the end the husband would realize that he does love his wife and not the other woman. But why start only now with this scenario, when they are in the final chapters isn't it? It would be so incredible that Gael would suddenly realize that he does love Paloma within these last few weeks. What a cad!!!
 

Novela Maven, I'm so glad you had tonight's episode to recap because of the plethora of ludicrously hilarious scenes. Your delightful descriptions were lovingly snarky and lordy how I enjoyed each and every one. Elisa and Lolita (the tear monger) in particular had some doozies. Surely Fluffy and gang got the humor of it and were writing for the laughs.

OMG, "guilt laxative" made me howl. Dam's "horny robot kisses" also elicited a grand snort from yours truly.

Clearly the simians are making themselves feel more human by portraying our knuckle-dragging galanes as missing links. I was very embarrassed for Gael and Dam tonight. Gael in particular was an epic ass. And Dam's last line...words only a troglodyte could love.

Thanks Novela Maven. The dreadful wedding from hell and boring reception were a laugh riot from beginning to end. Begona in jail, also funny and I've got to hand it to Carmina. She borders on clever when she can haul herself up out of her apathy.
 

Oh, how mind-numbing is this TN, let me count the ways! NM, you put sanity to the madness, with wonderful humor. There are times I
am actually glad that my language skills are not so great, because hearing the details of what these numbskulls are saying...well, I would have a destroyed TV by now.

The Gael I loved at the beginning of this TN has definitely left the building. We get it dude, you're miserable and you didn't get the love of your life. Too bad your dad isn't around, because you are more the chip off the old block than Dam. Married the second choice, won't love the wife...hmmm, maybe Gael will turn into the town sperm donor just like dear old dad? Sorry, the whole amulet will release true love...crap.

Paloma's absolute glee at hooking her man and thinking the ring will magically change his feelings was almost as bothersome as his mopiness. Pathetic.

As for Bananaman, all he needed last night was an outfit of animal skins and a big club. I was waiting for him to club Elisa over the head and drag her by the hair back to the cave.

And QuiQui, honestly, hon, you dodged a bullet and should count your blessings, pack your bags and get the hell out of Dodge. Flo the same. Amazing our little Dudette turns out to be the one with a brain...I thought they would break out the Mary Tyler Moore theme " she's going to make it on her own"...earworm time.

They better not kill off/or bring to punishment GAB too soon because right now I enjoy watching him be evil and slimey than anything.
 

NOvela Maven - Thank you for your funny, snarky recap that is by miles, better than the episode was!
I have a question about one line in your recap:
". . . And they are also pretty happy."
Clarification, please, on who 'they' are:
1. The 'sources'
2. Dam and his yellow undies
3. Both Dam's yellow shirt and undies
(snort)

Gael continues to be a major disappointment. Telling Dam that he still loves Elisa, minutes after marrying Paloma. Ugh. This is the stuff telenovelas are made of.

I felt like I was watching a TV version of that Redbook/Ladies Home Journal article of "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" (gah… that's all my male OB/GYN's waiting room, had back in the olden days).

Paloma was a beautiful bride. Her dress was downright gorgeous. Even her spray-on tan looked great, along with her glow-in-the-dark whitened teeth. And lovely hairstyle. Livia Brito is beautiful.

Ramona's countenance at the wedding was a major buzz kill. Even Gael wore his game face…. most of the time.

The Gael I loved at the beginning of this TN has definitely left the building.
daisynjay - I so totally agree.


 

Okay..it's 7:30 am and I've already got writer's cramp noting down all the things I loved about your recap, Novela Maven.

The voting theme of the opening paragraph

Gael "bagged and tagged"

"Sources close to the production report that Dam is wearing matching banana yellow underpants. And they are also pretty happy."

"guilt laxative"

"She's a respectable woman who only indulged in charactter assasination"

fake smile...real hug

The heading "It only goes downhill from here, folks"

"How do these imbeciles manage to dress themselves in the morning?"

And heck, there were a gazillion more. Clever, funny, outstanding.

I still thought Paloma looked radiantly lovely last night, in spite of her sulking groom and fatuous, self-satisfied ,idiot friend Elisa. But I have to give the latter credit for finally ditching the short shorts and boots to dress somewhat appropriately for her pal's wedding.
 

NM, this was perfect, super short and super, super sweet. Just a couple of my faves...

"And Shallow Gael tells Dam Stoopid and Clueless and Last to Know Anything that Paloma is with child. Duh!" I think it still took 60 seconds for the cerebrum to translate what the ears heard into a factoid!!!

"How do these imbeciles manage to dress themselves in the morning?" How do they?????

NM, you have a magical mind for verbal descriptions! [as do all of our AdeP recapping crew!] You make this slop of a novela worth our precious time...

Gall and Damian remind me of exotic male birds who strut around the females in a puffed up mating dance... except both are missing the pretty part, their tail feathers! Oh, but I guess Dam's yellow shirt counted for something!

Slyvia,"Gael in particular was an epic ass. And Dam's last line...words only a troglodyte could love." Very good!

Where is the justice in this? Begoñia, "the gossip." is detained for murder, and even more frightingly, in Carmina's deadly sights, and Edmundo, "Dr. Smooth Operator," happily works the wedding for another Señora to put his big ugly goof-ball, slimy grande (!) moves on. I smell the ole novela unequal justice for women comin' on!!!

This novela has changed me...now I'm sitting around the house with a big grumpy face posting mean comments...whatever it is, it's catching!!!!

Cathyx I left a late thanks for you yesterday!
 

Good morning amigos,

Will be back later but had to answer Doris's burning question right away. OK, listen up --

Happy Pants

:)
 

NovelaMaven, you have outdone yourself. I started tabulating my favorite lines and realized I was highlighting the whole Dam thing...in banana-yellow, of course.

But even though I can't narrow down my glee with your recap, I can definitely choose my favorite exchange from the episode itself: Lolita telling Elisa she was worried about her because she wasn't crying. I hooted so loudly I scared the telenovela cat (although you'd think he'd be used to it by now.)
 

NovelaMaven- This recap was hilarious from beginning to end. I ditto a few others in that your line about Lolita being a tear-monger made me laugh the hardest. What a great way to start the day with a good belly laugh.:)

I have no words for how horrible Gael was last night. Dam was being an idiot. But whatever. That's the norm for most galans. But Gael! Gael was being downright villainous! I had to ask the question a few times if he has officially turned the villain corner. I only see death as an option. Sorry Gael lovers. This marriage, and this idiot, can't be saved.

These young people are so screwed up that I just don't see how any of their love lives are going to work out by the end. It would be ludicrous for Quique to go from falling out of love with Flor and into love with Pal, to then have him fall back in love with Flor. Gael and Paloma are an even less likely pair by the fin. Dam and Elisa actually have the most hope, as they actually mutually lust for each other, but Alfi and Carmina need to die first for them to have any chance at a relationship. After that, they'll need home aids living with them, since they clearly lack the brain cells between them to function on their own.

Can you tell this episode made me cranky? LOL! I just wanted it to be over so that I could watch Amor Bravio. Basically, this show has become a hurdle I must go over to watch a far superior show. But you Abismo recappers are the best, so each recap is not to be missed.

 

What we learned last night:

Gael is truly Rosendo's son, only staying with his harpy wife for the sake of the child, while lusting after a Bouvier woman. I guess that makes Paloma the new Alfonsina.

We learned Elisa doesn't know WHY Damian thinks that Gael was her first lover, even though she like told him Gael was her first lover

Begona learned what the inside of the carcel looks like

Elisa learned Gael is Spanish for "asshole", for coming on to her at his wedding reception.

Damian also learned Gael is Spanish for jerk, for telling him to stay away from Elisa even though he's married to Paloma.

Ramona learned Gael is Spanish for buttwipe, for making googoo eyes at Elisa and ignoring Paloma the entire ceremony.

Paloma learned Gael is Spanish for scum for having a sad about marrying her even though HE was the one to ask HER to marry HIM.

Florencia learned Gael is Spanish for "you big dummy" for blaming HER for HIM sticking his magic stick into Paloma's cenote.

I learned to have a Sortilegio flashback when I saw Damian in the bright yellow shirt. Damian needs to channel his inner Bruno Lombardo and whip Gael's ass.



 

Anon207 - LOL on the ... um ... 'translations.'
 

Anon207, yet another great list. I was going to look up the meaning of the name Gael but now I don't have to. Thanks for that.


 

I loved the exit polling theme. So many losers on this show. Is it possible that no one won? Maybe if Doc and Carito get together, they will. Let's see:
Paloma and Gael-no
Dam and Elisa-no
Lucio and Maru-no
Enrique and Flo-no
Lola and Brau-oh yeah

The yellow shirt has to be part of a running joke with David Z. It stands out like a sore thumb, just like the undies did. I can't wait to see his next TN to see if the yellow plays a part, although I don't recall him wearing yellow in La Fuerza.

Great job Novela Maven, you really have a handle on the monkey writers. I can't figure them out myself.
 

Why a no on Lucio-Maru? He just needed time to get over his dead wife, and he doesn't have the hots for the new lady, as Maru thinks. If she wants him, she needs to give him time. He needs time to realize moving on with someone else is not equal to betraying Blanca. There's still hope for these two.
 

I vote yes on Lucio and Maru, too. He's been acting kind of silly lately but I blame it on his preoccupation with Elisa's problems. Little E's been sucking a few of the smart people into her whirlpool of stupidity. If he can break free he should be good.


 

Just happened by your recap, NM--another great one! I, too, had Sortilegio flashbacks with your mention of Damian's yellow underpants. Ay, the infamous underwear fight scene.
I saw a few scenes and kept looking at Gael, saying where did the cute Mark Tacher go? This one looks all sulky and dull.
Cackled when Begonia was arrested. One of her tea party ladies looked like Angelique Boyer's mother in CS 2009--the one her gypsy girl was reunited with.
La Paloma
 

" Begoña tells the nice man in the Ministerio Público that she is a respectable woman who only indulges in character assassination."

My favorite line of many great zingers. See? She does have self-awareness and insight after all. Strangely, she was the only character I could generate any sympathy for last night.

Are Ramona and Lupe the next hot couple? They seemed to be enjoying each other's company throughout the party last night.

Carlos

 

La Paloma, I recognized one of Begonas friends too, the one with the long curly hair. She was the insane wife of someone in a past telenovela but I can't remember which one it was right now. I didn't see CS-2009. Well, not much of it anyway.

Carlos, I can see what you mean about Lupe and Ramona. They have always had a certain chemistry.
 

Sylvia, that was Loriloca from Un Gancho al Coeazón, Salvador's wife.

Carlos
 

Sylvia and La Paloma- Yes the actress was AB's long lost mother in CS, and the BSC wife of Sal in Gancho, while he pined for the head office secretary played by the actress playing Lolita.
 

Jinx Carlos!
 

Yes! Thank you my friends. Too bad she didn't have a bigger part in this one. I would have enjoyed seeing Loriloca and Begona butt heads with Carmina and Ingrid. Oh, the many missed opportunities...
 

Vivi and Sylvia-I was only commenting on the pairing at the wedding, not for their lives longterm. I want them to be together too, but they weren't successfully together at the reception. All the other no's were not happily together either. Does this make any sense or am I losing it over this idiotic TN?
 

I thought Lupe & Ramona made an adorable couple, too. They were much more fun to watch than any of the supposed real couples.

But the table I really got a kick out of was the "let's hope nobody notices the conspiracy" table, where Elisa, Lucio and Carito get together to talk in urgent low voices about how no one, but NO ONE must suspect that they have been...getting together to talk in urgent low voices.
 

Thank you, NM! Loved the title and the exit polling!

I usually mention my favorite funny lines (Matching banana underpants, old Medusa wig, one of his horny robot kisses), but I can't let pass the SWEETEST line of the recap about Lupe:
"now looking as joyful on the outside as he always felt on the inside"

Please don't let the anvil hit him right when he is getting in his groove.

You pointed out they didn't smooch once. I noticed there was no spontaneous call of "Beso Beso". Seems everyone could feel Gael's misery.

Gael hasn't shown one glimmer of excitement over the baby, which is probably a more realistic response than, let's say, Geronimo's "gemelos!" in-front-of-Renata reaction...sorry, another CME reference.

I hope for PSA purposes, he doesn't wait until the baby is born and then look adoringly at Paloma, the mother of this child, and we all know they'll live happily ever after. That would be an awful and unrealistic message to send.

It looked like the Product Placement Fail from yesterday was Celestial Seasonings Tea. Que?

Rosemary la Otra
 

So I got to thinking ...

...Were Fluffy and the boys coming out of some really nasty divorces when they wrote this thing? Think about the bodas (including the near Mrs.) that have happened on our watch:

Augusto & Carmina: Did we even see this one? What we did see was that the resulting marriage was heading for the divorce courts when Car decided she'd rather be a widow than a not so gay divorcée. Ended with Augusto's murder.

Braulio & Toña: Based on deceit. Ended in divorce.

Horacio & Lolita: Guadalupe ignored Ramona's warnings and persuaded Lolita to go through with it despite her doubts. Ended in tragic disillusionment and divorce.

Dam & Elisa por lo civil: Aborted when Augusto shot Dam in the groin.

Dam & Flor por lo civil: Grimly executed. Ended in divorce.

Dam & Flor, boda religiosa: Aborted when Flor herself aborted Project Fake Belly.

Gael & Elisa, boda religiosa: Aborted when our graceless Galahad, Damián, swooped up the bride and took her to a wild beach party.

Gael & Paloma, boda religiosa: The reluctant and surly groom was persuaded to do lo correcto by papa ex-padre Lupe. Till death do them part. Oy.

*Gabino & Ingrid: A fake marriage. Ingrid bribed someone and bought herself a husband. And a death warrant. (Or so we think.)

*Edmundo & Begoña: They were already married when we met them but we were there for their divorce.

The only two happy marriages we have seen so far were both ended by violent death:

Lucio's Blanca was murdered by Horacio at Gabino's orders.

Augusto's Estefanía was killed in a car accident when she was trying to keep Rosendo from running away with Carmina.

(This same accident killed Rosendo leaving Alfonsina a widow but that marriage had already been dead for many years.)

A toast to celibacy, anyone?
 

Great list, NM! I'll drink to that.

Does the Gael / Paloma wedding now mean that the bare-chested-arm-wrestling was just a tease?
 

"Does the Gael / Paloma wedding now mean that the bare-chested-arm-wrestling was just a tease?"

Hard to say R la O.

On one hand, if it's just in the credits, we can think of it as a gift rather than a tease.

On the other hand, it could be part of an episode to come. Remember that the plot is not driven by psychological motivations or character development. Absolutely anything could happen to our Ermutants in the random and often menacing world they inhabit.

Maybe by the end, they'll all be living kibbutz-style, raising chiles and children in peace -- and with a little bare-chested arm wrestling for fun. Remember, it takes a village to raise an idiot.
 

Thank you for this great recap! Seriously I think I am starting to lose IQ points watching this TN.

Dam and Gael are getting on my nerves! They're still hot but seriously are allgood looking people naturally dumb?

Seriously Gael needs to get over his obsession with Elisa. That was a dumb move making Dam dance with Paloma so he could dance with Elisa. She should've smacked him. I would have.

The power of those amulets doesn't look promising.

It is wrong that I think DZ looks good in yellow?
--TF
 

"A toast to celibacy, anyone?"

So glad my office door is closed. THIS!!

But really, man, noone is happy or really SHOULD be "happy" in the ever-after way of looking at TN relationships.

I get it...maybe this will be like Dallas or that infamous ending from St. Elsewhere. The last five minutes of the very last episode, Gael will be dragged out of the cenote by Ramona or Padre, nearly drowned and when he comes to, wide eyed, jumps up hugging the Padre and realizes it was all a horrible dream.
 

"It is wrong that I think DZ looks good in yellow?"

Dear TF:

Not "wrong" exactly. But it could become a problem for you if you start insisting that your significant other dress in banana yellow before you ... you know ...
 

I should say Gael as either a boy...makes it even better.
 

Oh Daisy, that would be fabulous! And our fairy princess Estefanía would still be alive. And little Elisa would have the chance to grow up and wear big girl clothes, not weirdly sexualized rompers.

Yes! I vote for -- IT WAS ALL A DREAM!
 

NM as others have noted this was another brilliant recap. Most have mentioned your best lines and I must add that your running commentary on Gall was hilarious and mirrored my own comments. And your toast celibracy, yet another gem.

Vivi - "Basically, this show has become a hurdle I must go over to watch a far superior show." Priceless, I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this. And ITA about Gall, I think he's become a villain and might die before all this is over. If the monkeys make him fall in love w/Pal, we'll know its part of their evil marriage plan NM listed.
 

Have got to say once again...the comments are as funny and enjoyable as the recap...and that is high praise indeed. What a great group!
 

This telenovela needs to end! It just keeps going and going and going...with no real plot, why oh why are they making us suffer through it? I think someone else mentioned that we just watch it hoping it ends so we can see Amor Bravio. I just don't understand the point of making this telenovela longer if it was just going to be this bad!
 

Ahhhh...it's so touching and romantic when the bride spends the wedding reception trying to talk the groom into the marriage, whilst the groom hits on another woman. I just love weddings, don't you?

As much as I was laughing last night, it was nothing compared to when reading this recap. Moldy straw spun into platinum. Kudos, Novela Maven. So many funny lines that have been mentioned, and "tearmongering" is definitely going to be incorporated in my vocabulary. I also really loved "horny robot kisses". Well, I loved your description of them.

Damian had so much more chemistry with Flor than he did with Elisa, mostly because when he was with her he was happy and relaxed instead of pinchy and tense. He needs to work on his depiction of love and passion.

I am still operating under the assumption that Gael is possessed by a demon. Someone do an exorcism!
 

I remember a conversation about DZ wearing yellow shirts in all his TNs, but did he ever wear yellow underpants?

I'm not sure if cathyx's comment about the yellow underpants "sticking out like a sore thumb" is in reference to that or was it a hysterically funny comment that only dirty old ladies would get a kick out of?
 

"Near-Mrs." JAJAJAJAJAJA. NM's still got her meter on high for the comments section!
 

RlaO - only ladies "of a certain age" would get a kick out of that. LOL

..."bare-chested-arm-wrestling was just a tease?"
There was a telenovela (MEPS?) that starred (I think) Sylvia Navarro where the bride wore an entirely different wedding dress & veil than we ever saw in the telenovela. I think she had two different weddings, maybe.
Awww... now I miss Sniffles and Curls. (NOT!)
 

DID DZ EVER WEAR YELLOW UNDERPANTS?!

Oh yes, yes he did, and it was memorable. Sortilegio. Does someone have a link?
 

Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfafkmbVqV8
 

NM: thankfully I'm single! (and female btw)I'm just saying DZ still looks manly in yellow. I don't know if I'd make my significant other ever wear yellow....maybe one day.
--TF
 

Rosemary, although it would have quite a meaning if I said his yellow undies stuck out like a sore thumb, I said his yellow shirt did, lol. The undies were from another TN in a famous fight scene.
 

JudyB:

You are so right about this group. I've just read through all today's comments. Wow! Such great stuff inspired by such unpromising material. I have a feeling we could be blogging about Plaza Sésamo and still have a blast doing it.

Thanks to anyone who read my recap today and especially thanks to those who took a moment to join the conversation here. And of course, as always, I'm very grateful for your kind words.

Aw, TF, you know I was just teasing, right? :-)
 

Interesting malentendido, R la O. I wonder what Dr. Elna June would make of it.

jejejejejeje
 

You back row girls and your malentendidos...
 

NovelaMaven, thanks for pointing out that Estafania and Augusto had one of the two happy marriages in this show. If you think about it, this show turned south when Carmina killed Augusto.

I'm not a fan of Polo shirts but I also thought that Damián looked great in that yellow shirt. Though I missed Sortilegio and am reluctant to view that link, yellow is definitely a good color for him.

Carlos
 

Carlos, you really should click on the link and take a look. I think you will be amused.
 

Thanks cathyx... no way to unwatch that. I noticed the yellow accents in the scene... the lemons on the butler's tray and the throw pillows... and it went on and on and on...

Carlos
 

In MEPS, Fernanda (Silvia Navarro) wore the dress in the opening credits to her wedding with Damian. She wore a different wedding dress to her wedding with Eduardo.

I think a lot of that stuff in the credits is not what actually happened in the show, just a suggestion. The arm wrestling scene is just representative of Gael & Damian's rivalry, we have not seen Florencia lurking behind trees, we have not seen Damian & Elisa swimming in the cenote together and we did not see Augusto fussing at Elisa in what looks like a barn.
 

Sorry Carlos, maybe you have to be a female to enjoy it.
 

Thanks for the link, Julia. Now I know where NM got the banana in banana yellow underpants.

Anon207: those other clips ARE credits. The bare chested arm wrestling is a tease.

I am glad we didn't have to see Elisa's overplaying her reaction to something Assgusto said in a barn. And what's with the wig Flor is wearing when she peeks from behind the tree?
 

In that Sortilegio fight, Seriously, all that violent fighting could have been avoided if Ale had simply pantsed Bruno, or given him a wedgie.
 

Maybe that was in the outtakes.
 

NM- Yes I caught your drift lol. I certainly don't mind just seeing DZ in yellow though. Like I said, he makes it work. I can live with a TN not having anything to do with real life.
--TF
 

NM

Sorry to come so late to the Patio to comment. I heap praise upon you, O Mistress of Mavens. I echo the earlier comments regarding this great recap. Thank you so much, NM.

EJ
 

This is very funny and entertaining. I can only hope to write like you.
 

Anon207 Sortilegio. Dam Fine was so evil as Bruno. I don't like nice Dam Fine that much. I like Bruno. He was hooooottttneesss as Bruno.
 

Ahoy all, sorry I missed so many of the hilarious comments today. Mr. Sharkbait and I had a meeting with our financial adviser this morning and she kept highlighting things in YELLOW and pointing out the important bits in YELLOW to me. I kept sneaking peeks at everyone's comments and couldn't stop snickering at all the YELLOW.

Novela Maven, that is some Screwed Up Marriages list that you've got. Makes me glad Mr. S and I have never bothered to actually tie the knot. There's nothing wrong with going steady for 23 years is there?
 

Hola my late night California Girls!

Just wanted you to know that I did read and appreciate your comments last night. Pitters rule!