Caray, Caray!

　

Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman. I love musicals and thought the other night, what if Amores were a musical? What type of music would it have? Operatic, R&B, Pop, Rap, Beatbox, Golden Oldies? Well you are in for a treat amigos y amigas. I have crafted a sort of musical Amores this evening. Hey, if they can make the Passion Pit a comedy play, that would be Abismo de Pasion, Amores can be a muscial, jus' sayin'. Read on amigos y amigas to see what I mean.

Bonjour, Bonjour, It's Jean Marie Bonjour, Bonjour from Disney's Beauty and the Beast 

Jean Marie and his vaca product and Tomi telling him never to mention the name Longoria in this house!

Hang Down Your Head, Big Angel, Hang Down Your Head and Cry: From the Kingston Trio

The Angel has that cross ripped right off his neck by the Furry Fornicator (Thanks NovelMaven), Tomi and Jean Marie Bonjour are witnesses.

Is This the Little Girl I Carried? Seedlings Turn Overnight To Sunflowers: Sunrise, Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof

Pauwhiner leaves the room as our Wild Child informs her Mama she ain't leavin' her Papi not now, not ever. Where will she live when Mama goes??? Oh, The Balvanera Manse of course! Thunderclap and incredulity from Cris.

Now It's Too Late Baby, Now It's Too Late, Though We Really Did Try to Make It: It's Too Late by Carole King

Furry Fornicator gives Ms Vikki grief about giving that family heirloom cross to the Angel. Give it back to the Angel she says and apologize while you're at it. He won't lower himself to apologize to a servant, doncha know! Ms Vikki is being ridiculous and Ms Vikki doesn't want to live with Fornicator anymore. Shooting daggers at each other, Ms Vikki says the Furry Fornicator is ridiculous cause she didn't cause a scene when she caught the Fornicator boinking that red-haired woman. So, she doesn't want to live with Fornicator anymore y punto. Nikki, listening at keyholes, hears the whole thing and cries. We'll get back to her.

Our Love's In Jeopardy, Baby: from the Greg Kihn Band

Jean Marie, and Tomi are in the kitchen talking about the ripping off of the cross from the neck of the Angel, when Cris comes in looking for said Angel. She has her crazy on, jus' sayin'.

Workin' For a Livin': by Huey Lewis and the News

The Furry Fornicator is on the way to work and poor Dances has to tap dance around his fugly mood. Fornicator is way rude to our Dances. Dances thinks to himself, obvio Ms Vikki has not forgiven this waste of space.

Papa Was a Rollin' Stone, My Girl: by the Temptations

Nikki is on the balcony watching Mr Rollin' Stone roll away with Dances and thinks to herself she can't beleive her Daddy-O is a stinkin' cheater, no ways.

Lean On Me, When You're Not Strong, and I'll Be Your Friend, I'll Help You Carry On, and I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar (Thanks Floridia)  Lean on Me, by Bill Withers, I am Woman by Helen Reddy

Ms Vikki and the Angel are in the study and Ms Vikki apologizes for the Fornicator ripping that cross right off his neck and by the by Ms Vikki wants him to keep that cross even after that contretemps. Oh, so sad, the clasp is broken, but hey she'll have it fixed and give it back to him. He can't believe she still wants him to keep it. Now he's got a problem he needs to talk about. It's Cris of course, and she wants to go to Alamos, Sonora far, far, away from here and wants to drag, er, take Lili with her, but the Wild Child doesn't want to go. Ms Vikki says she won't change her mind, course not. His marriage is on the Highway to Hell, he doesn't know how it got there, and his one ray of Sunshine, Cris is trying to take away. He couldn't deal with that. Now he wants a favor. Can Lili live here while he tries to figure out what to do? Sure, the house is huge, plenty of room, but hey what about the wifey pooh, won't that pith, er, cause more problems???? Honestly , the Angel is very confused, doesn't know how to fix the problem, loves his wifey pooh so much, she's jealous and hard headed, won't listen, but doesn't want to lose her, or his little Sunshine, cause Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, and this house just ain't no home, anytime she goes away. (Ain't  No Sunshine, by Bill Withers) Ms Vikki feels bad and feels responsible for all his troubles, he doesn't agree. Not her fault. She feels so bad for his sorrow and pain, both are crying, and they hug, as good friends do, when one is in pain. So right in the middle of this crying scene, comes, we all in Viewerville, except maybe some of us, are cringing as Tomi and Crazy Cris, come in and Cris accuses them of celebrating cause Cris is goin'. Cris is screeching keep celebrating don't try to stop, cause you are cheatin, liars and I see what is right in front of me. Well, it's not as it seems, yeah right, from Cris. The Angel is tellin' her she is confused, things are not as they seem. Ms Vikki wants to leave them alone, to discuss this, and tries to go with Tomi but Crazy Cris yanks her around and tells her she ain't goin' anywhere. Crazy Cris says Ms Vikki isn't satisfied with stealin' her husband, now she's stealin' the Sunshine too. Stopping here to have a drinky pooh, a nice big gulp of Baileys. Ok, back now, Crazy Cris ain't gonna let that happen, no siree bob, she ain't. Crazy Cris ain't allowing Ms Vikki to steal her little Sunshine, also Cris continues to slap the Angel around and yank him around too, as he tells her to cool her jets. Crazy Cris won't "allow" her little Sunshine to move into this house, y punto. What happens now you ask, we'll get back to them. Ok, so now back to the contretemps in the study, where Tomi is staunchly staying by the door to make sure things are ok. So now the Crazy is telling Ms Vikki she is not scared of Ms Vikki or her power or her big Cheesy Name and hey she ain't stealing her Sunshine, never happen, she is leaving the Big Dirty City with her Sunshine as she smacks the crap outta the Angel again and that goes for Ms Vikki too. Crazy storms outta there. Ms Vikki advises the Angel to go after the Crazy, Ms Vikki doesn't want her leaving this way. Angel, however ain't goin. The Crazy is stubborn, won't listen, she's blind as well as deaf, didn't Ms Vikki just see her???? Tomi is still in the doorway, and tells the Angel ,she is gonna handle it and tells him to calm down, she goes.

You Can't Turn Back The Hands Of Time, What's Done Is Done, And It's Alright, You Can't Turn Back The Hands of Time: You Can't Turn Back the Hands of Time by Rachel Diggs, made famous by Pretty Little Liars.

Oh, looky here, it is Pauwhiner and Gilda in an outdoor cafe, talking about how guilty Pauwhiner is feeling bout Cris. Gilda reminds Pauwhiner about how she got rid of that letter from Anibal about the truth about Cris. And now Pauwhiner is scared for Cris to go to her Mama's cause that could come out, doncha know. Gilda reminds her that hey, Candelaria didn't have the avacadoes to tell Cris already, about her parentage, what makes you think she'll do it now? Cause Cris is CRAZY, er, has a short fuse and if Cande finds out that Angel is workin' for Ms Vikki Balvanera and her lover too boot, well, then Cande will spill the frijoles. Well Pauwhiner is just paranoid, Gilda says so!!!! So Gilda tells her hey, would a mother inflict unbearable pain on her daughter by telling her, her lover's legitimate daughter is her sister!!!! Think about it!!! But Pawhiner just won't let it go. Pauwhiner, has forgotten, that life is a carousel, dancing 'round the mirrors we go up and down, so let the music take away the hurt you've caused and know so well, let it go cause, You can't turn back the hands of time... Gilda tells her hey, this will go away, like a little rainstorm and things will be back to normal, you'll see. Pauwhiner, hey, not so much, I caused the Crazy to lose her home, and her hubby and she can't have any peace if she has ruined her life. Too little, too late, jus' sayin'. We'll get back to them.

Hello, It's Me, I've Thought About You For A Long, Long Time: Hello It's Me by Todd Rundgren

Betty is at the desk, with the ringing off the hook phone, while Dances is distracting her. The Furry Fornicator and Anyballs are in the foreground and Dances and Betty are just a gazin' at each other, and Dances has given her something for her and one for Guillo, did she enjoy herself and can they do this again sometime, when Anyballs has had enough of the ringing off the hook phone, and tells Betty to answer it. She apologizes and does so, while The Fornicator and Anyballs go to the Fornicator's office. Betty answers the phone and it's Adriana, but she doesn't tell Betty who she is. She is asking for Ms Vikki, who won't be in today. Want to leave a message? Nah, not so much, will catch up with her later, click.

Tea for Two, and Two for Tea: From Movie of the Same Name, Starring Doris Day and Gordon McRae

Tomi has caught up with the Crazy and tells her she doesn't want her to leave in this state, she might get hit by a truck, doncha know, so stay have some tea, you'll be doing your liver a favor, cause with this fury of yours, you are damaging your liver, have a seat! Tomi goes to the kitchen and the Crazy thinks that Tomi gives good advice and hopes she gets married, cause then Tomi can paint her own hubby in his naked as a jaybirdness!!!


When You're Down and Troubled, and You Need a Helpin' Hand, and Nothing, oh, Nothing is Goin' Right, Close Your Eyes and Think of Me, and Soon I Will Be There, To Brighten Up, Even Your Darkest Night, You Just Call Out My Name, Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall, Hey All You Gotta Do Is Call, And I'll Be There, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, You've Got a Friend: You've Got a Friend by James Taylor

Ms Vikki and Angel are still in the study and discussing what the hell just happened. Que Lastima! The Angel is still apologizing to this refined, genteel woman about the Crazy One! Ms Vikki cannot understand how the Crazy so misconstrued their working relationship. Ms Vikki was only trying to help the Crazy, she can't understand how it got, well, so crazy. Angel doesn't get it either. One minute they were sooo in lurvvve, the next the Crazy is accusing him of cheating, and with Ms Vikki to boot. The Crazy has no trust anymore. Ms Vikki gives the Angel some wise advice. Don't let work interfere in your marriage. He says he won't but only he,Dios, and Ms Vikki know the truth. He would never cheat, couldn't even fathom it, is always faithful and may he go straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred pesos, if he is lyin'. Ms Vikki doesn't want him to lose his Crazy or little Sunshine, doncha know. Ms Vikki feels the Angel's marriage should last forever, and this time The Crazy actually hears these things, Dios' name must have opened her deaf ears cause she actually hears them talking and the eyes of the blind have opened and are crying to the Virgincita, about what have I done, and now I'm Cryin' Over You, From Crying, by Roy Orbison

That's What Friends Are For: by Dionne Warwick and Friends
The Whiny Pauwhiner, she's paranoid, Gilda said so! is takin' her leave of Gilda. Gilda reminds her that as soon as the Crazy leaves her apartmento things will get back to normal. Pauwhiner is surprisingly hating to see the Crazy go cause she loves her doncha know. It's a shame the Crazy is gonna live with her Mama cause if she knew who her real daddy was, she'd be havin' a different life. Yeah, so the Crazy would know she is rich, Gilda says, but would that change anything? Are you lookin' to redeem yourself to Anyballs to tell him about his "new Daughter"? Nah, not so much. Gilda advises Pauwhiner not to be the redeemer, cause she'll end up crucified!

I'm Sorry, So Sorry, That I Was Such a Fool: I'm Sorry, So Sorry, by Brenda Lee

Cris is now outside the Balvanera Manse thinking about what a dunderhead, er fool she was. What should I do now, hmmm???? I accused my poor hubby, my Angel of cheatin' on me and he never did, not eva! She can't just tell him she knows the truth, she can't apologize, oh, no that would be Crazy, jus' sayin'. She goes.

Tea For Two, or Two For Tea, Parte Dos:

Tomi, laden down with that beautiful tea tray, has come to give the Crazy the calming effects of this tea, when, she sees that the Crazy has exited, stage left. So much for the tea! And now where did she go? This tea would have been such a good solution to her Crazy, so Tomi calls her name, lookin for her.

Just Eat It, Eat It, Eat It: by Weird Al Yankovic

Don't kill the recapper, but Nikki is so distraught, by what she has overheard, she is in her room, crying her eyes out, goes to the closet and gets a round big plastic sleeve of chocolates and chows them down, stuffing her face. I do feel very sorry for her, cause her stupid parents didn't let on, what was goin' on, so the poor girl suffers in silence and tears.

Somethin's Going Wrong Round Here: by Joe Jackson

Jean Marie is chopping veggies in the kitchen, ruminating about the wrongs round here with Angel and the Mr And Mrs of the Manse, when he looks at Guzman, Francisco and wants the chimse already. Guzman, Franciso doesn't know and even if he did, he wouldn't tell Bonjour, Jean Marie cause it's Rule #99 of the BodyGuard Code, no chisme!!! The phone rings and it's little Ms Sunshine lookin' for her Daddy-O who is in conference with Ms Vikki, Bonjour, Jean Marie hands the phone to Guzman, Francisco. Little Ms Sunshine, has got the blues and Guzman, Francisco wants to know what is wrong? So much, been through so much it's Crazy! So just hearing his voice she is no longer alone and confused, she's gonna keep on smilin', by Wet Willie , and he has made it so. She is gonna come by for a little visit with Daddy-O and tell him she is on the way, click.

How Do Mend A Broken Heart, How Do You Stop The Rain From Fallin' Down: by the Bee Gees

Probrecita Nikki is remembering her Mama accusing her Papi 'bout boinking that red-haired woman in his office.

Whatever Kendho Wants, Kendho Gets: Think Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets, from the Broadway Play "Damn Yankees"

The Furry Fornicator and Anyballs are in the Fornicator's office. Now I have to say here, I hope the cleaning crew used bleach and Febreeze in that office, cause it should be stinkin' to high heaven by now, what with the stench of sweaty, monkey sex, jus' sayin'. Anyballs is sooo disappointed in the Fornicator. The Fornicator's actions of being a manger of the company and dealing with Anyball's daughter leave a lot to be desired. Well, we all in Viewerville know where the Fornicator's desires really lie, jus' sayin'. Isn't there someone in the company that is creative to ya know do some bidness so the company doesn't tank, while Ms Vikki is insisting on divorcing ole Fornicator? Anyballs thinks the Fornicator is now brain dead (Thanks Marta) Betty picks this time to buzz Anyballs for some accounting accounts and he goes. Ole Fornicator, does he crack that whip, to find someone creative, well, nopis, he picks up the paper and opens it and the first page he sees says "Top Model Attempts Suicide", Ha! So the Fornicator thought bubbles about the doc tellin' him that people that try once to kill themselves, will try again. And the Fornicator thinks this was all swept under the rug, sucks to be him! Now everyone knows.

Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover, Makin' New Plans Stan, You Don't Need to Be Corderoy, You Just Listen To Me: by Paul Simon

Antonio has come by to see Anyballs to find out why he hasn't been to the Club lately. Well, it seems Pauwhiner has left him and now Ms Vikki is givin' him trouble. Ms Vikki's marriage not goin' well and there is the other daughter, ya know the terminal disease, is what Antonio thinks Anyballs thinks of Adri. Anyballs doesn't want Antonio to be his censor doncha know. Well Antonio says your daughter is in Mexico now, how bout seeing her. Nah, want me to call the cops and have them handcuff her just to see me. Nothin' doin'. Antonio thinks Anyballs is now a cantankerous devil. You don't know the half of it. Antonio wants to know why Adri decided to come back now? Diggin up the past, maybe? Who knows. She came back, didn't come for a little visit, and if she does keep your trap shut, is what Anyballs says to Antonio. Adri just wants Anyballs to feel like an wretch. So Adri is like a bad memory??? Now Antonio wants to know why Anyballs doesn't even think of his own granddaughter, one that has his own blood, yeah well she is a bastarda and has the blood of the one that fathered her too. Oh, that word, hate that, bastarda.

Llame de la Sangre (This one is for NovelaMaven)

So little Ms Sunshine has come to the Balvanera manse, and security is lettin her in, his name is Goyo. She gets in and in her wake is, wait for it,  Adri, they don't see each other, but there is a sense of something in the air, a feeling perhaps of having passed this way before. Adri stares at the gate.

I'm Sorry, So Sorry, and Nobody's Perfect: Nobody's Perfect by Madonna

So the Crazy has calmed down now and is sitting with Pauwhiner and telling her what she overheard at the Balvanera Manse between her ever lovin' hubby and Ms Vikki, how they didnt' do her wrong and she was only going to return the keys to the apartmento when she over heard this dishing of feelings, doncha know. The Crazy was sooo wrongggg! Pauwhiner is sooo upset and blames herself, right where the blame should lie, jus' sayin'. Pauwhiner thinks maybe she told Cris about Ms Vikki in the bed, to get back at Ms Vikki for keeping Anyballs away from her (See I told you! Pauwhiner and revenge, who knew!!!!). So The Crazy finally admits she was wrong, that Lili and Angel were so right, she should never have said the things she said or thought the things she thought and hey, it's not Pauwhiner's fault, she just gave the deluded chisme, er vision she had. And besides Pauwhiner can go tell Angel her part in this, but Crazy ain't havin' it. It's her fault doncha know, she's ashamed about what she said to Ms Vikki, not trusting her hubby enough to listen and her little Ray of Sunshine either. The Crazy cries!

You're The One That I Want, Wooo Hooo, Yeah, You're the One That I Want, You're All I Need, Oh, Yes, Indeed: from the movie and Broadway Play "Grease"

So Little Ms Sunshine is inside Balvanera Manse lookin' for Daddy-O when Guzmi comes across her, she has been crying and he can see that. He greets her by saying she is the keeper of the planet kingdom at Balvanera. He tells Lili that Daddy-O is probably in his room and hey what's with the tears. She says she has been having some tears, but sometimes ya gotta cry to let it out. So now Guzmi wants to know if it's a boyfriend that has hurt her, cause if that is the case, he'll have to deal with Guzmi. This makes Lili laugh and she says boyfriend, what boyfriend???? Guzmi thinks it was worth that remark to see her smile and she goes off to find Daddy-O.

We are Family, I Got My Little Sissy With Me: We Are Family by Sister Sledge

So Ms Vikki is in with her laptop in her room now, writing more romantic stuff, it's the same as the poem and the painting, so I'll spare you the details, when Tomi comes in all excited and tells Ms Vikki that someone is here to see her. It's Adriana of course, and Ms Vikki and Adri have a big ole hug and wipe tears from their eyes. Adri wants to know what is up with all the security guards and bodyguards, Ms Vikki was never like this. Ms Vikki tells her it's hard to have them around, especially for Nikki, but they had to get them cause of the continuing threat and Ms Vikki has almost been kidnapped a couple of times already. But hey, enough about me, what about you? I want you to spill everything is what Ms Vikki tells her and why did she disappear after the accident??? Hmmmm? Ms Vikki says she came to be by her side, she disappeared and Ms Vikki was worried sick. Well, Adri is scared, doesn't know who to trust, doesn't know how to get to the truth, doesn't know who to beleive, but she adores Ms Vikki and loves her so much. Back at ya, says Ms Vikki and then the beauty compliments come too. Tomi is so happy to see them together again and gets a big hug too. So now Ms Vikki wants to know about Adri's job, her love life, etc. Well, Adri ain't got no love life. Anyballs took that away from her. Adri only fell in always and forever, only once. We finally find out the guy's name it was Vicente Celorio, she was only sixteen, but she fell in love with him then and will never love another, and bad Anyballs took him away from her. How she has suffered since then and it's all Anyballs' fault, he caused this suffering.

Papa Don't Preach, I'm In Trouble Deep, Papa Don't Preach, Cause I Made Up My Mind, I'm Keepin' My Bebe: Papa Don't Preach by Madonna

So Anyballs' conscience hasn't let up, that would be Antonio who can't fathom why Anyballs continues to make his daughter, Adri, suffer by not letting her know her bebe is alive. The way Anyballs sees it it would have been cruel to ruin his daughter's life. But Adri has the right to know Antonio tells him, it's only fair. Anyballs ain't havin' it, no siree bob, he'll never tell, he'll take it to the grave, this evil lie he done told. Antonio wants him to think about that. And he wants a promise from Anyballs that he'll tell this secret. Don't count on it, Anyballs tells him. What does it matter to him, what happened to the Bastarda, anyhoo. Anyballs is channeling Rodrigo Montes de Loco, or maybe he is a distant ancestor, jus' sayin'.

When I Find Myself In Times of Trouble, Mother Mary Comes to Me, Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let It Be: Let It Be by Paul McCartney

Angel is telling his ray of Sunshine that it isn't Ms Vikki that doesn't want her to live here, it's just that her Crazy Mama needs her now. Lili isn't down with that, Crazy Mama was wrong, her Daddy was right, and she will miss the one as well as the other. Daddy never cheated. Angel tells her not to be like that, respect your Mama, he tells her. She needs her little ray of Sunshine right now, more than eva. You need to help her and give her advice. What will you do she asks? Well, pray for a miracle. Little Ms Sunshine will pray to the Virginicita for a miracle to open Crazy Mama's heart. So now they both pray to the Virgincita about not separating them or abandoning them.

It's Over and Done, But the Heartache Lives on Inside: Emotion by the Bee Gees

So now back to Adri, Ms Vikki and Tomi, and Adri is telling them that she has buried her bebe Lucia and Vincente deep in her heart. She wants Ms Vikki to understand this and Ms Vikki thinks it is way sad to have this type of feeling. Adri is really angry and says she lost Lucia due to Anyballs. Ms Vikki wants her to calm down. And she reminds Adri that Lucia was stillborn. Nah, not so much Adri says. Adri has the feeling that Lucia is alive and well and she knows Ms Vikki isn't gettin' it, and that the pain of losing Lucia must make her feel this way, but no that ain't it. Ms Vikki says, Imagine, Lucia would be eighteen years old now. Adri just knows she is alive but is looking for good solid proof and does Ms Vikki get it now? Yeah, she gets it. Tomi has alot to do so she is gonna go and Ms Vikki gives the cross necklace to Tomi to drop off at the jewelers to get fixed. Tomi gives Adri a hug and goes. Vikki raves about Tomi being so great to run the house and takes care of Nikki too, Adri thinks Tomi is way nice to do all that. Now Vikki wants Adri to stay there, and will have a room prepared for her. Nopis, Adri is not layin' her head in no Balverna home, owned by Anyballs, it's just too much. Vikki tries to make her see reason about how Anyballs made mistakes with everyone, including herself and their Mama. Anyballs is their Papa, doncha know. Well, enough of him, change of subject, how's the family, my neice???? Honkey dorey, doncha know. Vikki doesn't let on to Adri how things really are, and goes on about Nikki and her sign on the Chinese Horoscope which Tomi follows and they have a big laugh over crazy Tomi and the horoscope.

Smiling Faces Sometimes, Pretend To Be Your Friend, Smiling Faces, Show No Traces of the Evil that Lurks Within: Smiling Faces, Sometimes by the Temptations

So Nikki is in her room and is shoving those candy wrappers under her bed and has called her "BFF" Kendho, who is driving. Nikki is telling her bout the bad mojo in the house and Nikki just had to call someone she trusts, bad choice that! What's wrong Kendho wants to know, she'll "help" anyway she can, doncha know. Well ole Papi is a cheater, cause Mami caught him boinkin' some woman in his office, oh the horror! Probrecita, Vikki says Kendho, as if, and Nikki says the lyin', cheatin' Fornicator is DEAD TO HER!!! Well, Kendho doesn't think this is so bad, but Nikki is QTH, it is for her, cause the Fornicator kept preachin' about decency and honesty and look what he done did!!!! And por Dios, who knows who is having sex with now!!!!! Kendho is just a laughing to her self in the car, while Nikki cries. Probrecita, if only she knew, Que Pena.

Avances:

Cris and Angel get their smoochies on, while Vikki watches.

Nikki and Guzmi have a fight, Nikki runs out to the street, right in front of a yellow car!!! Tune in Lunes to find out what happens!

Labels: Amores