Caray, Caray!

Slutty Kendra-ho arrives at Nelson's office wearing a fake red wig and little else. She does a little strip tease and wants to tempt him at work. He at first resists but Little Nelson has other ideas. Yukky love scene commences.

The Slutty One presents a temptation that is too much to resist.

Bea calls Useless Bully Husband's home. Wants to talk to her kid. Useless Bully Husband (yes I know his name is Leo) begs off, saying the kid is asleep. Kid comes out, wants to know what's up. Useless Bully Husband says that Mommy didn't call and Mommy is starting to forget about us. Douche.

You will burn in Hell, Useless Bully Husband.

With no lights and no power, Guzmancito thoughtfully looks out the window at the driving rain. Has a flashback of all the quality time he spent with Nikki that day. He retires to his bed. Then he hears something coming into the room. Safety first! He pulls out his gun and aims it towards the door. False alarm, it is our little Bratty Bruja, deciding that she can't sleep alone in the dark. She wants to sleep with him! Uh oh. Big Guzmancito and Little Guzmancito do silent battle as she hugs him from behind, seeking comfort from the scary dark and the scary storm.

Our Little Gorilla is lost in his own thoughts.

He is tormented with indecision when she embraces him, seeking comfort. (Nobody in this scene says "Make love to me." That CC is from the next scene!)

Our Slutty Ho Kendra and Nelson make some hot furry love. (Many thanks to whoever it was that came up with that turn of phrase.) Major yuk.

Bailey's, I presume?

Vicki, also at work, has finished for the evening and tells Big Angel that she's gonna go fetch her loving hubby from his office so they can go home together. Okay fine, Big Angel will wait. Vicki, still under the delusional idea that she has a real marriage, walks to hubby's office. Hears sounds of lovemaking. Sees through the slits in the blinds that Loving Hubby is getting it on with a red-headed ho. Her face crumples in shock, disillusionment, heartbreak, and more shock as she stands and stares for a moment, frozen.

There's no mistaking what she's seeing.

Dispair, anguish, shock are her initial reactions.

Big Angel is on the phone with his wifey, lovey-dovey, see her soon, give my love to my daughter, yadda yadda. Things are going good for Big Angel. For Vicki, not so much. She has come out to the lobby area, breathless and still in shock. She wants to get the HECK OUTTA THERE. No she does not want to go home. She does not want to collect $200. She just wants out of there, away, away, away. Big Angel is alarmed but hey, whatever she wants. They get in the elevator and go to the parking garage.

WANTS. OUT. NOW.

We cut to Guzmancito and our little bruja Nikki. Guzmancito's higher-functioning brain cells have kicked in and he's saying that he'll stand guard outside Nikki's room until she falls asleep, if she's that afraid of the thunder and lightening. Nikki isn't going for this. She wants to sleep in the same bed with him. Accuses him of being "afraid" to sleep like that. This gets Guzmancito's hackles up.

Posing a temptation for the Little Gorilla.

More with Vicki, hysterical, begging for Big Angel to get her the hell outta Dodge. Big Angel is confused but complies.

Guzmancito foolishly accepts Nikki's idiotic challenge and lets her sleep in the bed with him. Some jabs and snarky comments about snoring and kicking each other in their sleep, and then they hunker down to attempt to catch some ZZs. They both smirk privately to themselves.

Mother-daughter chat with Paula-the-whiner and Bea. Bea talking about how she was always walking on eggshells around her Useless Bully Husband. Chit-chat about life. Paula starts to get verklempt about her own idiotic, selfish life decisions.

A flattering shot of Bea (Susana Gonzalez), who really does look like Joan Crawford.

Odioette arrives at the house, uninvited. Vicki is not home, but Jean Marie, wearing his fetching sleep gear including the big floppy sleep hat, is beside himself with joy. Must make something special for the beautiful Odioette!

Back with Bea and Paula-the-whiner. They're talking about Anibal's other daughter and how she took off like she did. Doorbell rings. They assume it'll be someone who doesn't know that Bea is Paula's daughter. Paula is ready to let that info get out, the heck with it! But it turns out to be Gambling Guzman Dad, Felipe, who is there to see Paula and happy to see Bea. Doesn't hesitate to accept an invite to dine with them. Seems a little flirty if you ask me. He says it's just like "before." Paula sourly says, "No, because Francisco (Guzmancito) isn't here." Well no, he wouldn't be, because you selfishly abandoned him when he was a teenager, Paula-the-whiner.

Speaking of Guzmancito, he and the skinny bruja are tossing and turning in their bed. He puts his arm around her in her sleep. She notices. FF>>

Post-coital chit-chat between Nelson and Kendra-ho. They can't do this again at the office, too risky. He feels bad for her devoting this time to him (though he's not feeling bad enough, if you know what I mean) because he can't offer her a future—he intends to stay married. (I wouldn't be too sure about that! I think you already blew that, idiot!) Kendra-the-ho smooches him and says she knows what she's doing.

At the door of Big Angel's apartment. A tearful Vicki doesn't want to go in. It will make trouble for Big Angel with his wife. (Darn straight it will!) He says no it'll be fine. She needs somewhere to be safe, and it is HER apartment, after all! (Doesn't matter. Don't do it, don't do it!) He implores. She finally relents.

She's not certain this is where she should stay.

But he foolishly assures her that it'll be okay.

When she gets through the door, she finally spills what is causing her so much distress. She caught her hubby doing the nasty with a nasty redhead! Big Angel looks impactado. But of course Nelson's general nastiness is not news to him.

Finally she spills the truth.

Heartbroken over the betrayal . . .

Back at the estate, Jean Marie is beside himself with the thrill of having that fabulous lady Odioette in the house. He prepares some special coffee (probably spiked with Bailey's. Oh I don't know). He fawns over her. She is just fab. Polita is disgusted and reveals that his real name is "Juan Mario Buendia." This offends Jean Marie who immediately corrects and says it's Jean Marie! Odioette takes a sip of the special coffee and then says she has to leave. (What? You couldn't drink a little more after all the work Jean Marie put into making it? Selfish bruja!) She thought bubbles to herself that she wants to get Jean Marie on her side so she can use him.

Sucking up to Odioette. (Note Polita's expression!)

Tomasina has been snarky and barely civil to Odioette during this visit, because you know, Tomasina isn't stupid and knows what a viper Odioette really is.

At the dinner at Paula-the-whiner's house, Felipe spills his guts. He wants to reform for good this time. He says he wants to do it for Paula. Paula doesn't seem too enthusiastic. He says that he'll even join one of those Gambler's Anonymous places this time. Bea is thrilled by this! Paula says he should make this change for his own sake, and for his kids, but not for her. Okay, Felipe can go with that. He says his grandkid deserves a good grandad. Paula smiles and Bea proudly kisses her Gambling Guzman Dad.

So proud of her dad.

Things are starting to heat up a little, stupidly, in the Little Gorilla's bed. They both awake at the same time and look at each other, somewhat sheepishly.

He's hogging the bed!

Nelson has returned from his own foolishness and sees Odioette there as she's on her way out. He doesn't know where his wifey is (and he actually acts offended or jealous) and Odioette makes some snark about how many marriages have broken up due to the wife staying out to work too late. Or something. When Odioette has left, Nelson has Salsa-Dude (who is looking fetching in his typical black garb) to try to reach Big Angel by their super-duper far-reaching radio. (What. Ever.) Big Angel doesn't answer. Nelson is getting angry and wonders where she is! Why can't she stay home like the obedient wife when he is out boinking his skanky mistresses! She clearly does not know her place.

Nelson seems vexed that his wife is not home yet. Wait until he finds out why his wife is not home yet.

Back at Big Angel's apartment, Vicki is unloading her feelings. She was glad that Big Angel was there when she discovered the Ugly Truth, because she doesn't know what she would have done had she been alone when she found out. She would have died! Big Angel doesn't like the sound of that. She continues that she never cheated on her husband, never! And here he does this despicable betrayal. What she found out tonight has killed any good feelings she had for her husband, she exclaims.

Back to our imprudent couple in the bed. Things start out slow but are doomed to get hotter very soon. First a little caress of the face. Then inching closer, Guzmancito and Nikki give each other a little kiss. Things heat up quicker as Guzmancito goes for the gusto. It's getting hot and heavy when Guzman's higher-functioning brain cells temporarily kick in and he jumps away from Nikki and seems to take a breath. But no, Nikki gets close to him again and it's not looking like they're going for the wiser choice. More kissing. Nikki slips off Guzmancito's top. More going for the gusto. No signs of slowing down. This does not look good. Alert! Alert! Not looking good! If this continues we may have an impregnated Nikki for real.

tsk tsk tsk

She finds his shirtless self irresistible.

. . . and he unwisely is listening to the little Guzmancito.

END OF EPISODE.

AVANCES: Nelson wonders where his wife is. Looks jealous and outraged. As if he has the right! The nerve! Nothing on our unwise couple, however. Must see TV!