Monday, June 24, 2013
Amores Verdaderos EXTRA – El Clamor Publico No. 3 – 6/24/13
El Clamor Publico
This 3d issue of El Clamor Publico© features another Patio Chatter, Re-Quotable Quotes, re-running
NovelaMaven’s Feb. 27, 2013, Advice Column for Characters Experiencing Non-Cognitive
Dissonance in their Roles and The
Collected Wisdom of Diana appears in this issue. Ed. Note: Most portions of the content have appeared in other
publications.
WEEKEND EDITION HEADLINES
Anibal Balvanera, scion of the Balvanera Fortune 1500 empire and
controlling partner, is nominated to the Below Par Daddies List for 2013. When
asked if he is pleased, he exclaimed of course, he always shoots Under Par.
Nicole Brizz, young socialite matron spends the day shopping for a
job. Claims it's hard on the feet.
Piano for sale, but not just yet. Can only play Chopin and
Liszt on rainy soggy days.
Guillo’s gives away his mother’s hand, while still attached.
Help No Longer Wanted at the new nursery-greenhouse to be
opening soon.
Ex-model Kendra Ferretti was recently observed at a spa,
getting herself back into shape three days after a C-Section. Assures paparazzi
that her new daughter is being well taken care of.
Re-Quotable Quotes
Would it be tacky to
hope she [Cris] gets run over by a bus? Soon? [Doris—her prediction came
true-except for the bus part-and she is abjectly remorseful for planting the
idea in the writers’ minds and promises to stay out of the prediction business.
That’s Opalina’s department.]
Can Spirits join us on
the Patio? I'm sure she'll have a great time skewering Kendra from the great
beyond when she finds out what she was up to. [Anita]
…we did bring back the
departed to the Patio one day when we were in the Pits and all the beloved
characters were dropping like flies. It was an oddly comforting exercise, as I
recall. [NovelaMaven answers]
So glad The Patio
doesn't discriminate against the spirit world. It'll be nice to see Cris there.
If Leo goes, though, how do we keep him out? [Anita responds]
Patio Chatter
Petition from LoriLoo, La Flor del Sofa to join POLE
I so enjoy the El Clamor as well which after last weekend really piqued my interest in joining the POLE. So I did my homework this past week and watched each epi of AV and I do believe my expectations have been sufficiently lowered.
Here is what I like the most: Adri... I watched a few epis
here and there in the beginning and found her to be an insipid, aging hippie
with bad taste in clothes. Now she shows more balls than Anyballs and looks
hawt in her leather skirt.
Big Angel - how can ya NOT love the guy?
Sunglasses: I've had a soft spot for him ever since he was
married to that bruja in "Mi Pecado".
Ana Martin/Cande: I love her..... hair cut.
Still disappointed in Beatriz who could take some lessons
from Cynthia Montero.
Nikki's love letters: ¡Que Bonito Amor! (still watching that
one too)
El mero mero: the handbag that Niki grabbed and stormed out
with when she left the hospital after throwing the letters at Frankie. (What a
great scene.) Lili was sporting a nice handbag as well in the giant greenhouse.
So that about does it. I won't go into my loathing for the
FF/F4 and Kendrat. Nothing new there.
Hoping to join your illustrious group,
LoriLoo, La Flor del Sofa
LoriLoo, La Flor del Sofa
+++++
[Anita] Now I
recognize you, Flor del Sofa, haha. You are an escapee from QBA? Over there
they not only lowered our expectations but, lowered it to the lowest rung
possible. Here is your safe haven >>
Pick a Table and join in the fun at POLE.
+++++
[LL] Oh boy!
Muchísimas gracias! yes I'm an escapee from QBA but I still read the recaps.
That group of recappers is the same from AB and they are the only thing that
keeps my interest (and the music). It is hard to believe, and a shame, that
such a stellar cast cannot even save it.
I believe the table I would like to join has a waiting list:
the Bodyguards' table. I'm really into SalsaDude. Hated him at first of course
when he was with Kendrat! And I did catch that look of fear? relief? on his
face when she said the bebe could have been his. Yikes!
+++++
[Anita] It's JM's
Table that has the wait list. In any case, Guzmi is off by himself right now,
trying to get a seat at Nikki's Table. Be aware that the Guarda Espalda's table
does NOT serve liquor. No Baileys, no Blue Curaçao, no whatever the other one
was that was served up and whisked away. Tostachos a plenty, though. If Guzmi wants back in, everyone can just
move a little closer to make room. These are big tables.
+++++
[LL] What?!? No
bebidas?!? Forget it I gotta find another table. Salud! Does Adri have a table, or which table is she
sitting at? But if she is with Lili then I don't think I can handle it.... Maybe I should just wait list for JM's table.
I'll bring the vino!
+++++
[Carlos] LoriLoo, we
still have a few spots available at the Odette table where the signature drink
is Cognac with bitters. Wheelchair accessible. There is a dress code. No food
at the present time, but there are negotiations in progress with Jean Marie
over hors d'oevres and petit fours and we have high hopes. We expect an
important announcement about this matter in the very near future. [Carlos]
+++++
[Anita] Dress code, Carlos? Will she tolerate striped
sweaters or are they verboten?
+++++
[Carlos] I checked
with doña Odette (as you know, she is recuperating from a stroke and is still
recovering her faculties) and she replied (I thought I detected a hint of
agitation): "You are only being
offensive if you are meaning to offend.”
It might be best to avoid striped sweaters for the time being.
+++++
[LL] Gracias Anita y Carlos. Thankfully I
have no striped sweaters, well to speak of, but I am from the west county of
Sonoma County, CA and we are pretty informal here. I doubt I would pass odioso
Odette's standards but hey, she can't really object at the moment. Cognac I can
appreciate since I did a paper on it in one of my wine classes.
+++++
[Carlos] Welcome
LoriLoo... you're in... well, she does insist on shoes, but she loves to talk
about wines and fine spirits and looks forward to hearing all about that
course.
+++++
[LL] Thanks Carlos! Do
Birkenstocks count as shoes?
+++++
[Carlos] Balzac (heh
heh) says Birks count as shoes.
+++++
News Regarding Patio Tables
Nil-sans-Brain Table. It is temporary and has wobbly legs. KendHo may try to sneak in, but alerts have been placed on other tables to be on the lookout. (As per special request, his table has been moved to the parking lot.)
Lili Table – Has been moved (By special request her table
has been placed way at the back, near the kitchen, over on the far side, near
the service station, the restrooms and the exit.) Susanlynn has volunteered to monitor that
table for the time being. She reports
that, “I'll be the first served, will have the restroom handy, and can leave
quickly if I need to. ...”
NovelaMaven’s Advice Column for Feb. 27, 2013, for
Characters Experiencing Non-Cognitive Dissonance in their Roles
Dear NovelaMaven:
It ain't easy being mean. It's been a long road and I've had to
kiss a lot of frogs along the way. So no one -- not your precious Guzmancito,
not your darling Dances with Dippity-Do, not your Soon-to-be-Fallen Angel, and
not your hoity-toity Miss Vikki -- is going to stand between me and the
Balvanera billions. Nevertheless, I am concerned by my extremely low Q score.
It appears I am not well-liked by the estúpidos who watch the show. So don't
just sit there using up oxygen, Maven. Do something. Persuade the cretins who
call themselves writers to show me in a more sympathetic light. I'm sure that
after a little tweaking of the dialogue, those imbéciles will set up a table
for me. I am so VERY tired of getting dissed on the Patio every night.
Love,
Love,
Kendrita
Dear Miss Ferretti:
I regret to inform you that it would take more than some editorial
tweaking to make you likeable. You are what we call a harpy. A hag. A harlot.
Or in terms you might understand -- a ho. Let me give you a little advice --
The prize pig in the Balvanera sty is the old guy. Forget the awful Eff-ful
Nelson. Aníbal has all the money. It's HIS company. It's HIS mansion. HIS wife
is dead. And after twenty years with PaulaToo, he is primed to appreciate your
very special ASSETS. Best of all, you might even outlive him (if one of the
many people you have double-crossed doesn't get to you first.) Marry him! Spend
your honeymoon on some remote island, just the three of you -- Aníbal, your
personal assistant, Cristine, and you. And don't forget to take along a little
light reading: How about "No Exit"?
Besitos,
NovelaMaven
NovelaMaven
P.S. No table for you, Kendrita! ¿Captas? Or do I have to explain it
with apples?
Dictionary Corner (Lest we Forget)
FATS, n. = A type of face/lip melding, often misinterpreted
as a kiss; popularized on Mexican telenovelas.
See attached essay by NovelaMaven for a full description.
That wasn't a kiss, it was a Face Attack, Telenovela Style
[FATS]. Face Attacks happen when:
Person A (here Jocelyn**) rushes at Person B (Jose Angel**),
lips puckered
Person B never sees it coming and can't step aside in time.
Lip contact is Brief, Unreciprocated and Rapidly Terminated
by person B.
Person C witnesses only the Lip Contact Phase, not the
Rushing At nor the Rapid Termination.
FATS are all about Person C's reaction. What makes this
particular one funny is that Person C (Miss Vikki) has no right to HAVE a
reaction. In fact, she can't even admit that she was there. But she WILL have
to come to terms with her own jealousy.
**Jocelyn and José Angel were recently replaced by A) Lili
and B) Frankie with Nikki playing Person C; earlier in tn we also had a scene
where A) Nelson FATS’d B) Vikki with Arriaga playing Person C.
#######
THE
COLLECTED WISDOM OF DIANA, GODDESS OF THE HUNT, THE MOON AND BIRTHING (These
are Episodes 51-77. These can be read as
a recap of the recaps.)
My, EY looked
extraordinarily handsome last night. The man wears plaid well. Sigh...
No matter how
intelligent, humorous and loving someone is - if they aren't "picture
perfect" they are fair game for ridicule.
Perhaps Nikki is
unkind and thoughtless because she has no real friends. They are all vain,
vapid and shallow.
And, yes, Nelson can
be bought (great point). And he is so NOT worth it.
Things are so
volatile, I feel as though characters are lining up on the edge of the cliff
and we are waiting to see who will fall.
Not sure to be
relieved or worried that Cris knows that nothing happened. The truth is that
nothing has happened - yet.
My heart went out to
Cris. The poor woman barely had time to enjoy her reconciliation with Angel.
Then, without any warning she is thrust into witnessing the inexplicable, raw,
emotional, confusing and tear laden meeting of Lili and Adri. The blood was indeed
roaring, coarsing through the veins last night!
Nikki in a rare
display of vulnerability, chose honesty over sarcasm with endearing results.
She and Francisco appear to share much including deep emotional scars fueled by
perceived abandonment and betrayal by beloved parents.
Adriana is right.
Anibal is "perverse and evil." To separate her from her child was
unforgiveable. Telenova justice is that he will likely pay a price for what he
has done, a very high price.
Who in the world could
make me smile in delight over the feeding Nikki scenes other than Rulli?
Instead of the eye roll, I thoroughly enjoyed every moment.
Yes, 20 is a bit old
to be forced into piano lessons. But, having Frankie as her tutor may make up
for this "intolerable cruelty."
…it was a mere minute
of cease fire between Francisco and Nikki, wasn't it? And, I love, love Polita
but please, the hard truth is that "he's just not that into you"! You
are a wonderful woman but just not the right one for Frankie...
Marriage IS a commitment
and people should always try and make things work. But the truth is that things
change and people grow apart. The things that bound them together initially no
longer exist or they choose different paths that no longer give them common
ground. Many are wiling to transition from love to friendship but some want
more. I try not to judge because we never really know everything that goes on
in people's lives.
…oh yes, Nikki is
certainly making Francisco's life a little bit of hell (with a dash of heaven)
right now.
My absolute favorite
scene was the Angel posing for Vicky. He is downright adorable - from facial
expressinos to the strange hand contortions. And correct me if I'm wrong, but
did Vicky actually lick her lips when he removed his shirt? I know I did!!
Another Nikki tantrum.
Really? So unexpected (eye roll).
I had absolutely no
idea what Opalina was "reading." Snails? Well, Okaaayyy...
I was disappointed
they chose to use the Kendho ad but realize that using the one with Vicky would
have sent Cris into an even further downward spiral.
Vicky has stumbled and
fallen off the pedestal (for both myself and the Angel). I was truly dismayed
she ruined the painting.
I want Frankie and
Paula to reconcile. I know she has (and continues to do) so many things that
are wrong and hurtful. I just can't stand his torment and hurt. His anger is
ripping him apart. Huge sigh.
I'll take a [..well,
our] Carlos [is always right..] t-shirt. Any color will do.
Loved the "man
hug" between JA and Francisco. As you noted, who was listening to dialogue
when we could watch such eye candy!
I hope Emilia sees the
cast iron skillet offerings [at Meta*Mart]!
It's upsetting to see
Vicky and the Angel's relationship deteriorating with each passing scene. When
he cut the "bracelet," I cringed. Basta! This friendship needs to get
back on track. Pronto.
I'm reluctant to say
this but I felt absolutely no sympathy for Anibal. At all. Knowing what both he
and Candelaria did is not engendering any warmth either as individuals or as a
couple (shudder)...
Yes, we certainly
don't want want our handsome hero to famish. Feed that man - please!
We know the anvils are
lining up and blowing in the breeze. [This gave our Carlos his existential
image to ponder for the day.]
So glad the Angel and
Vicky have "reconciled." Vicky's calm, sweet genuine demeanor is very
endearing although she definitely has her spicy, fiery side as we've seen...
Felipe. Good heavens man. Get a spine. There is nothing worse that a whiny man, wallowing in self-pity. Buck up.
Perhaps what happened last night was meant to remind us that simply because you love a good woman does not mean you necessarily deserve one.
Bea's face mirrored every emotion she experienced in her brief search for and walk to Salsero. Disappointment, fear, longing and happiness.
Is there a place one can land that's lower than "rock bottom.” If so, that is Anibal's next destination.
Speaking of the bathrobe, was there ever a more hideous gift? Elbow lenth sleeves yet not quite a cape. I can only fathom what that fur must have cost. Let's report Anibal to PETA...
Cris was a whirling dervish last night - spinning, sputtering and spewing away. I'm not sure Kendra realizes what she has gotten into. I think her punishment for this hiring will be having to put up with Cris poking into every aspect of her private business and offering a slew of unsolicited advice.
Hoping that Francisco and Salsero will team up against Leo. I think it's going to take a village to defeat Leo who in addition to superhuman strength (and anger) seems also to be teetering on the edge of insanity. Ack.
When watching Nelson kiss Vicky (what a side show), I thought Angel's look held more disgust for Nelson than actual jealousy, but there was definitely a tinge there.
[Nelson] needs some serious straightening out. Can we introduce him to Leo? Was it terrible I said that??
I savored every second of Salsero using his gun as a razor, stroking Leo's cheek menacingly and fondling his face with the barrel. Much needed and deserved intimidation. Finally, the bully is bullied.
I'm starting to catch the Nikki/Guzmancito fever myself. The delighted, happy grin on Frankie's face last night won me over.
Kendra rained torrential lie after lie on Nikki, reducing her to a heartbroken hot mess. Only the cruelest, blackest heart could continue seeing how much Nikki was suffering. And I really didn't want to watch her gorging on the cake. But, I felt I owed it to Nikki to share her pain.
Chris' "Ho by Kendra" dress does not receive rave reviews from the Angel. What not to wear.
Money can buy many things but not good taste apparently.
… my mood had sunk about as low as Kendra's ethics.
Felipe. Good heavens man. Get a spine. There is nothing worse that a whiny man, wallowing in self-pity. Buck up.
Perhaps what happened last night was meant to remind us that simply because you love a good woman does not mean you necessarily deserve one.
Bea's face mirrored every emotion she experienced in her brief search for and walk to Salsero. Disappointment, fear, longing and happiness.
Is there a place one can land that's lower than "rock bottom.” If so, that is Anibal's next destination.
Speaking of the bathrobe, was there ever a more hideous gift? Elbow lenth sleeves yet not quite a cape. I can only fathom what that fur must have cost. Let's report Anibal to PETA...
Cris was a whirling dervish last night - spinning, sputtering and spewing away. I'm not sure Kendra realizes what she has gotten into. I think her punishment for this hiring will be having to put up with Cris poking into every aspect of her private business and offering a slew of unsolicited advice.
Hoping that Francisco and Salsero will team up against Leo. I think it's going to take a village to defeat Leo who in addition to superhuman strength (and anger) seems also to be teetering on the edge of insanity. Ack.
When watching Nelson kiss Vicky (what a side show), I thought Angel's look held more disgust for Nelson than actual jealousy, but there was definitely a tinge there.
[Nelson] needs some serious straightening out. Can we introduce him to Leo? Was it terrible I said that??
I savored every second of Salsero using his gun as a razor, stroking Leo's cheek menacingly and fondling his face with the barrel. Much needed and deserved intimidation. Finally, the bully is bullied.
I'm starting to catch the Nikki/Guzmancito fever myself. The delighted, happy grin on Frankie's face last night won me over.
Kendra rained torrential lie after lie on Nikki, reducing her to a heartbroken hot mess. Only the cruelest, blackest heart could continue seeing how much Nikki was suffering. And I really didn't want to watch her gorging on the cake. But, I felt I owed it to Nikki to share her pain.
Chris' "Ho by Kendra" dress does not receive rave reviews from the Angel. What not to wear.
Money can buy many things but not good taste apparently.
… my mood had sunk about as low as Kendra's ethics.
Labels: Amores
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For better or worse, here it is. Don't know why the font changed sizes on me in Diana's Collected Wisdom, but let's just say it's for emphasis.
Wonderful collection, Anita!!
and Diana... what can I say? should publish those as 'words of wisdom' 'words of truth'... since so many of us totally agree with her comments.
and Diana... what can I say? should publish those as 'words of wisdom' 'words of truth'... since so many of us totally agree with her comments.
You -- and this -- are amazing, Anita!
I especially loved your headlines ("he always shoots under par") and the Collected Wisdom of Diana (" And correct me if I'm wrong, but did Vicky actually lick her lips when he removed his shirt? I know I did!!").
Thank your capturing our ephemera and giving them extra life in El Clamor Público.
I especially loved your headlines ("he always shoots under par") and the Collected Wisdom of Diana (" And correct me if I'm wrong, but did Vicky actually lick her lips when he removed his shirt? I know I did!!").
Thank your capturing our ephemera and giving them extra life in El Clamor Público.
Anita: This was absolutely amazing. I laughed in delight through every word.
Loved the "Re-Quotable Quotes" with doris, NovelaMaven and yourself - witty and wonderful.
So many excellent lines from Patio Chatter but somehow, "Ana Martin/Cande: I love her..... hair cut" made me grin in huge appreciation.
I am honored and humbled that you chose to include some of my postings. I am only a small voice among so many whose kindness and insight make this line the close knit family it has become.
Anita, you have so enriched this blog by your presence. Nothing escapes you - your wisdom and your marvelous humor are a maninstay and necessity her on AV. Gracias, amiga.
Diana
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Loved the "Re-Quotable Quotes" with doris, NovelaMaven and yourself - witty and wonderful.
So many excellent lines from Patio Chatter but somehow, "Ana Martin/Cande: I love her..... hair cut" made me grin in huge appreciation.
I am honored and humbled that you chose to include some of my postings. I am only a small voice among so many whose kindness and insight make this line the close knit family it has become.
Anita, you have so enriched this blog by your presence. Nothing escapes you - your wisdom and your marvelous humor are a maninstay and necessity her on AV. Gracias, amiga.
Diana
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