Caray, Caray!

Marta wants to tell Valentina the story of Hansel and Gretel, because if there's anything a kidnapped child needs to hear as she's drifting off to dreamland, it's a story about a man who abandons his children in the forest, and a woman who eats children. Valentina doesn't seem enthusiastic; but if Marta can't tell the difference between Valentina and a child who doesn't exist, maybe it's not fair to expect her to be able to read Val's emotions. I mean, it's not as though she's a behavioral health care professional or anything.

Oh. Right.

Chucho cries. Alma comforts him. (repeat) Her skirt reminds me of the Cat in the Hat's hat, but rounder.

Xochi invites her coworkers to see her perform as "Natasha" at the nightclub. Mari can't go because she wants to be with Eli. Susana tries to get Pánfilo to go with her. At first he says he can't go because he doesn't have any money, but Xochi says they can be her guests. He agrees to go.

Chucho cries in Valentina's room. (Cue flashback reel.) Eli says the police saw Marta's truck on the traffic cameras, heading towards the border in Nuevo Laredo. But the patrols will be on the lookout for her. Chucho says Marta can't get Valentina out of the country without her ID documents.

"I don't love Alma now," Rogue tells Paty. Sansón barks. Paty is elated. Rogue is expecting Alma to ask for an annulment, and he'll agree to it. Paty still feels guilty about Alma, but there's no need for them to talk about Alma and Chucho anymore!

Clothing is flung in Sansón's general direction. He tries to catch a flying shoe.

Delia tells the two dads that all the authorities are on the lookout. Chucho really wants to go to Nuevo Laredo to see for himself. Delia tries to talk him out of it, to no avail. She says okay, but you'll have to have a federal agent with you.

Mari comes over with Chucho's phone. Chucho leaves. Eli cries on Mari's shoulder. Can romance be far away? She even tries to offer him coffee, invoking memories of their first meeting, but he is disconsolate.

Knock-knock. I figure any visitor ought to be a welcome distraction, but I'm wrong. Mari answers the door, and Vero breezes past her without so much as a hello. She proceeds to bitch at Eli, who is still in tears. Mari excuses herself. Vero's all sad and says she loves Valentina so much. (Really? Is that why the dads always pick her up at school, and a nanny dresses and feeds her, and sometimes she's unsupervised because self-absorbed Mommy took sleeping pills on the nanny's day off?)

Cardenas wants to take Jess someplace nice. She wants to go home first and change her clothes. But first, Ric needs her help with Marisela. Jessica tells him to be smart; use his brain and his sense of humor. Most of all, women like a man who takes a chance.

Ray is still at Chatita's house. She doesn't want to leave until Valentina, her only friend, comes home safely. Chatita makes her promise to tell Valentina her "secret," and sends her home. Mari comes in as Ray leaves, but it's a short visit; Ric calls to TELL Mari he'll pick her up in half an hour. And he won't take no for an answer!

I hear the barrel-organ (I want one), so we must be at the nightclub. Susana explains the Natasha/Xochi phenomenon to Pánfilo and flirtatiously points out that this is their first date.

At the restaurant, Jessica is wearing her own clothes. She looks stunning. Cardenas looks like a little boy on Christmas morning. It appears he has arranged some sort of surprise with the maître d'hôtel.

What'd I miss - Alma is in the car with Chucho; Chucho is driving; I don't see any federal agent unless there's something about Alma we don't know.

Marta watches Valentina sleep (did she drug her?) and tells little Vale she's the reason for Marta's existence.

Xochi-tasha is singing. It's good, but it's high time she learned a new song. Pánfilo and Susana are transfixed. Fernando and Julio are enthralled.

When the song ends, Fernando jumps onto the stage, tells Natasha he loves her, and lays a big kiss on her. She puts him in a wristlock that brings him to his knees. He immediately recognizes her as Xochi. The audience applauds. He is horrified and embarrassed and threatens severe consequences. He says he thought she was nicer than this. (The audience reacts to every word they say. It is hard to believe this is the same place where only crickets responded to Yvonne's song-and-dance routine.) Fernando says it just proves that nobody really loves him, and runs off. Xochi follows. Julio is hurt to see Xochi's sympathetic response to Fernando.

Xochi explains to Fernando the obvious - that he was so mean to her as Xochi and she wanted to teach him a lesson. He was in love with Natasha and feels that Xochi played him and made a fool of him and she's as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside.

As Chucho and Alma drive around, Chucho gets increasingly agitated and decides to go home.

The party clown is still wearing his costume and makeup at a gas station. It's a full-service place, but he's standing around outside his car anyway. Guess who's stopped at a traffic light or something right in front of that same gas station, just before they get on the ramp to go home? Guess! Guess! Chucho and Alma are oblivious to him, but he looks right at them! It doesn't matter, though, because he doesn't know who they are.

At the restaurant, Jess's surprise arrives. It's a serenade! Cardenas sings along. Touched, Jessica savors a brief but touching flashback reel of all their great moments together.

Yuri, the pancake terrorist, is telling Alexandra (she's still there? who's paying for this? does Rogue keep her on retainer?) that he used to be a pro wrestler (did he wrestle pancakes?), and sometimes he's sorry he gave it up. Malvino and sidekick arrive. Yuri wants them to perform some unspecified errand he needs them to do in order for him to make hash of Chucho. (Perhaps he needs them to go shopping for the remaining ingredients in his picadillo recipe, such as a gun or nasty knife.)

Susana and Pánfilo's first date is done. He has to hurry home to his daughter, Mar... Mar... Marlena. Susana wants to meet her. Pánfilo says she's probably asleep - she goes to work at 7 AM. Susana asks, where does she work? Suddenly Pánfilo is too desperately tired to chat any more. Good night!

At home, Chatita can't remember where she put Pánfilo's phone number. Eli doesn't have it, but he reminds her where she hides things. She checks her Big Chest of Secrets and finds the number, but no one answers the phone. She doesn't leave a message, and Pánfilo arrives home a moment later. He's thinking he kind of likes Susana.

Chucho and Alma come back to Chatita's, dejected. Everyone clusters around him supportively.

Ricardo takes Mari to his new apartment. He remembers Jess's advice, grabs Mari roughly, and gives her a big kiss. She is not impressed. "Know what time it is? It's time to go home!" She flounces out without him. Ric beats himself up over it. Literally.

Cardenas takes Jessica to her home. She puckers up for a kiss. He says he'll kiss her on the day she says she loves him. She says she didn't know men like him still existed.

Morning. Everyone at the office seems to be working - even Jessica. Mari tells Jess about last night with Ric.

Fernando comes in. Xochi tries to talk to him. He shuts the door in her face. Susana tells Jess and Mari what happened at the club last night.

Rogelio wakes up with Paty in his bed. The first thing he says is, "You're taking precautions, right?" "Of course I am," she replies, and we all know what that means.

Marta tries to spoon-feed Valentina breakfast in bed. Valentina is defiant and doesn't want to be called Jimena. Marta threatens to tell Daddy when he comes home.

Chucho frets and worries. Cue flashback reel: "Chucho meets Valentina for the first time and boy does he look yummy." He stares at his phone, willing it to play that stupid ringtone.

Next time:
Valentina finds an envelope with a mailing address and calls Daddy Jesus. Marta responds by setting the place on fire. Way to keep a low profile, Marta! (Er, I mean, "OR DO THEY??")

Labels: Manda