Caray, Caray!

Rewind: Rogue calls Pancho, Pancho Lopez to brag about Avon's victory over Orion in the Big Concurso (just in case Pancho hadn't heard... or watched it on TV). Rogue takes full credit. When Pancho asks about Alma, Rogue says sure, she helped a little - but that's what he hired her for.

Xochi has a meltdown over Discua's infomercial and feels that she must marry Fernando immediately. Jessica hasn't cancelled her wedding reservations yet, so Xochi can get married that day instead!

Rai gives Valentina a bottle of heat-activated ink.

Upset that his newfound daddy is sending him to school in LA for free, Melquiades picks a fight with Chucho outside. (The immediate vicinity is suspiciously vacant.) Chucho drops his crutches and jabs at Melkie's face. This easy love-tap knocks Melkie to the ground with a nosebleed. Melkie runs away but forgets his jacket. Chucho passes the jacket to him on the tip of a crutch.

Elias picks up Valentina. Vero reminds him to bring Vale back by SEVEN O'CLOCK SHARP. Sadly for everyone, Sansón must remain at home. Eli and Vale go to an amusement park with Teacups and Dodgems and the Trabant (the ride that makes everybody sick, and Vale is probably not tall enough to ride it anyway) and of course a carousel. Paty calls, and before Eli answers the phone, Vale asks if Paty is his girlfriend. He says no! He invites Paty to join them at the park.

Fernando is surprised that Xochi wants to have the wedding so soon, but is happy.

Paty brings a lollipop for Valentina and apologizes for the cheapness of her gift. Vale doesn't seem to mind. Paty wonders if she's up for a future as a stepmother, but shrugs it off. Valentina goes on the Teacups again and then a kiddie version of the Trabant that's much less likely to make her barf or fling her all the way across Monterrey.

Chucho plans a surprise for Alma. There is food, wine, and origami. And a bucket - which, given the kind of day he's had, could send a mixed message!

That pop star friend of Chucho's, Marco Di Mauro, wanders the street looking for Chucho's address. I think he's on the wrong side of the building, because he knocks on Chatita's door. She invites him into her home without even knowing what he wants or who he's looking for, because she doesn't want to burn her beans. I guess she likes the cut of his jib.

Alma has less trouble finding Chucho's place, not only because she's been there before, but also because there's a big banner above the door with stars and hearts all over it and "Welcome Mi Amor, Mi Angel." (Is his apartment number really 69?) Chucho turns out the lights and answers the door with The Only Bucket in Monterrey in his hand. He says he's not ready for her to see the surprise yet, so she has to wear the bucket over her head. Yes, it's the "crown" for his queen! (But it's plastic! The static! Her hair! Oh, the humanity!) No peeking! Chucho silently frets that Marco hasn't arrived yet.

Chatita doesn't believe that Marco is who he says he is, and demands proof, so he sings a cappella. He has difficulty explaining himself to Chatita, who seems to have forgotten that she has a neighbor named Jesus, but Chucho calls Marco and everything is straightened out. Except now Chatita thinks she just met Enrique Iglesias.

Avon must make a great antistatic hairspray, because when Chucho takes the bucket off of Alma's head, her hair looks the same as always. She is delighted with all the candles and romantic whatnot. Also, apparently, this is the first time he's cooked for her. He starts the stereo, which is confusing because at that moment Marco comes in with his guitar and serenades her with "A Partir de Hoy." (Cue montage!)

Eli takes Valentina home (on time!) and almost manages to make a clean getaway, but Vero catches Vale hugging Paty goodbye and reacts in the usual manner, though she does have enough self-control this time to wait until the child is in the house before launching into the verbal abuse. Eli informs Vero that he and Paty are dating; Vero gloats that he's really hit rock-bottom. He reminds her that she can't tell him what to do during his time with Vale, and if she tries to forbid it, she could go to jail. He asks if she realizes what she's become, and as for Paty, she's certainly not worse than Vero!

Chucho thanks Marco for the song and sends him on his way. Chucho takes Alma to the bedroom - she wonders why they don't have dinner first - and on the bed are the wedding gown he once imagined her in, and a tuxedo. Ah, too subtle for me. Suddenly, they are wearing these clothes and it's time for dinner!

Rogue and Vale trade funny faces and vague threats. He's got something planned for her, and she's got something planned for the grumpy little man! Sansón follows Valentina to her room. Rogue doesn't get a chance to complain about that, because now Domitila is dressed in her regular clothes (not her uniform) and quits! She likes Rogue just fine and she didn't mind Paty, but Vero is rude and bossy.

Just then, Vero shows up. Rogue holds Domitila protectively and tells Vero it's not that he's siding with Domitila; he's siding with himself. Otherwise, Vero will have to cook the meals, do laundry, iron, bathe the dog, care for the child - at which point Vero interrupts and says of course not. She'll get Minerva! At least she's not so uppity! But Rogue puts his foot down. NO!

Loving Alma is a privilege, Chucho says. She is perfection. They toast and clink glasses; I half-expect them to throw their glasses into the fireplace, but luckily they both remember that Chucho doesn't have a fireplace.

Xochi makes wedding plans with Jess, Sue, and Mari, who will be her bridesmaids. They muse that it's too bad her father can't be there, when Xochi gets the idea to ask Chucho to do the honors instead. (From boyfriend to stand-in dad? No way is THAT weird!) Xochi considers picking out a dress by herself, but her friends strongly insist that someone help her with that. "Do I really have such bad taste?" Xochi asks. No, Mari says, but how about if ALMA helps you? And they all squeal excitedly.

Alma and Chucho aren't doing all that much, but it looks more romantic in slo-mo. They exhale foggy golden heart graphics that say "love," "trust," "loyalty," "respect," "intrigue," and "union." (I'm having flashbacks to The Electric Company!) Now the room is dark and they're getting nekkid. Then the song jumps ahead awkwardly and I know we missed something interesting... thanks, Univision!

Paty is amazed that Elias put up with that harpy Vero for five (not six?) years. She wasn't always like that, he says. She changed when Chucho rejected her. Paty is skeptical: people are who they are, and they don't change easily. Eli points out that Paty is trying to change. Besides, he could say the same thing about her putting up with Rogelio for so long. And speaking of mental illness, he's set up an appointment for her with a psychiatrist named Isaias Uriarte.

While eating popcorn in bed, Xochi sees Discua pitching her spiritually-fulfilling exercise machine on TV (how many calories can you burn with a wink?) and panics. She scrambles to unplug the TV. Fernando enters the room, finds Xochi picking spilled popcorn off the floor, and asks, "What are you doing down there? And what was that woman saying?"

To Rogue's annoyance, Vero announces that she'll be sleeping with Valentina tonight. Sure, there's nothing weird about this at all. Angry, horny Rogue calls Paty. She doesn't want to answer. She tells Eli she feels only revulsion and confusion and chaos. No biggie! She doesn't want to talk about that. She had fun today, thank you. She gives him a jaw-breaking kiss, and he likes it. They say goodnight before anything else can happen.

Vero catches Rogue on the phone, but he says he was calling Cantú.

Chucho and Alma are pelted with more text graphics. Love, Intrigue, Trust, Loyalty, Respect. She says she feels "different." Unión! (Did he actually ask her to marry him? I don't think he did!)

Next time:
Chucho's test results are in. The rabbit died! And a bunch of snakes show up at Fernando and Xochi's wedding.

Labels: Manda