Caray, Caray!

Bebe Garcia - 7

Pato visits Alma in her bedroom and tells her the score: two up and two down for Rogelio, outcome uncertain. Alma observes that she obviously never stopped loving him and wishes her all the best. He really does seem to be changing -- he even volunteered to babysit Valentina during the custody hearing! They share a giggle over Paty's "pichon paternal."

Rico Not-So-Suave continues to act like a total tick in the restaurant. He doesn't understand why Maricela is so put off: wasn't she always crazy about money? She reminds him that she's changed: none of that matters anymore; what's important is being together. Oh yeah? Is that why you were always standing me up for that pretty-boy Elias Franco? Well, now I'm as good as him! (Guess again, twerp.)

Chucho's useless lawyer brings some papers to Chatita's for him to sign and tells him the custody suit could take several more months. Chatita remarks that maybe by then she'll remember who Veronica is, but Jesus tells her she's much better off not remembering. Meanwhile, Cinthia visits Vero for the same reason and tells her she might have a hard time winning, since there's an accusation of child abuse. Neurotica denies everything.

Marta finally visits the manicomio and tells Marcia -- surprise! -- that they won't be changing back. Turns out wreaking havoc is way more fun than lying around in bed all day coked to the gills! Who knew? Marcia earnestly confides that she'll have to tell the doctors the truth, then. (Like that's gonna work. This girl really HAS been living in the jungle.) Marta starts upending furniture and screaming for help, then tells the doc that her sister is hallucinating that she's not herself. Marcia gets a big ol' sedative and Marta gets a free pass.

Roger and Paty are on their way out for pizza, which she loves with the same enthusiasm she has for practically everything, when they are waylaid by some scary muggers. And purse and watch are not enough -- they want the girl! Rog steps in front of her, squeezes his eyes shut, and says, "You'll have to -- whimper! -- kill me first!" They really seem like they mean to, but just then police sirens are heard approaching and they run away. Pato is muy, pero muy, impactado. Kisses and te amos! Yay! The contest is over, and they both win.

Bebe Garcia - 5

Alma's off bed-rest and it's sonogram time! She doesn't want to know the sex, but since we know from the previews that the baby will be born later this evening, there's not much suspense. She giggles that the fetus looks exactly like its Daddy, which it kind of does, with its little face all scrunched up in Expression #6.

Alma celebrates by going in to work wearing Pregnant Barbie's baby-doll peignoir. All the secres witter away about the miracle of motherhood, blah blah blah, and Xochi says she and Fernando are ON it now that she's "discovered her maternal instinct." Que que what? Was it between the couch cushions the whole time?

Bebe Garcia - 0

All of that tummy-rubbing apparently worked -- Alma gives Chucho the nod that it's baby time, and he predictably runs around acting like an idiot, which hasn't been funny since "Bewitched," but juarever. He finally finds the enormous hospital suitcase -- what does she have in there, a wetsuit? -- and off they go.

Back at Avon, Paty & Roger are canoodling in his office. She gives a little lip service to the fact that they're on the clock, but she seems to have relaxed into the prevailing "work" ethic. Roger bemoans the seven months of abstinence, but Paty says he knows the rules -- no knockin' boots until the pregnant psycho ex is out of the house. Seems fair to me, but I'm kind of old-fashioned. (Speaking of which, all of a sudden everyone is calling Alma "senora," which I guess is a euphemism for "really rich pregnant unmarried lady," because I don't think we've missed a wedding. Harrumph.)

Now that several months have passed, Chatita says she remembers everything except how she had her accident and why it is she's supposed to be in love with old cricket-face. Could he remind her, perhaps? (Must try this at home: "What was it that made me fall in love with you? Was it that you...made a really good martini?") Panfi swoops in for the snog, but suddenly it's Jesus on the phone, and they're off to the hospital. Saved by the generic ringtone!

Sebas comes to Avon to visit Dona Su, followed by some random bombshell asking after Ricardo. Just as I'm getting ready to fire off another memo saying READ MY LIPS: NO NEW CHARACTERS, Aida recognizes trashy Vicky from Orion. Apparently she picked up Rico in an antro, and you know how she looooooves the ducats. Marisela rolls up her sleeves and confronts the two of them, backed up by Xochi in auto-defensa mode. They trade insults and Vicky flounces off.

Mari finally lands a telenovela-quality slap on Ricardo, in slo-mo no less! (I was hoping for another one but ended up having to rewind and watch that one a couple more times.) Ricardo is stupidly stunned. What was that for? How about all the presents I bought you, like that nice watch? Mari smashes the watch on the ground. For six months I've put up with this idiocy, because I love you! But you're insufferable! Rico snarls that there's a mountain of women who would go out with him -- he doesn't need her. Mari cries. Xochi tells Rico he really is an ass.

Sebas gets a call at Susana's desk telling him Alma's in labor. Everybody's really excited and bizarrely surprised, considering they've had nine months to think about it. Roger has a tiny smile at the edge of his mouth.

Can I skip the actual childbirth part? Pretty please? Let's just say that Alma has really nice teeth. Not a single crown!

It's a girl! The End.

Avances: Vero smacks Vale and stomps on her little phone, while Marta hangs creepily around Baby Garcia's neonate unit. (Sorry, girls -- I'd MUCH rather cover kidnapping than umbilical cords, but none of us gets to choose, do we?)

Labels: Manda