Caray, Caray!

Capítulo 39

Lo Del Pasado:

Cesar has returned from the seminary to Lucina’s B&B, ignoring Raquel’s “I told you so” remarks, to right things with Mama. Now that his dad’s living there as well, Ruben has managed to confess to his son about his past--the why and how of his years ago succumbing to Mathilde’s charms and her expected inheritance, and thus leaving Fidelia to fend for herself. (Not exactly what Viewerville would deem true love on either account. What a frickin’ waste, Fi! You could have done so much better!)

Oriana has set up Jose Luis to meet with Dona Paloma the next morning, per Paloma’s request. She’s also agreed, per Ric’s request, to counsel Fabiola regarding the need for birth control since self-control effectively dissolved into stardust and Sebastardo’s male lust. Ric has also emphasized to Oriana that if she goes back with her husband, there won’t be any “negotiated” terms on JL’s part; that a guy like Jose Luis simply takes what he wants.

Lo Del Nuevo:

Ric and Padre Mariano have now decided that it’s time to tell Paloma the truth so that Jose Luis won’t catch the old woman off her guard during their heart-to-heart, possibly killing her from the shock of the surprise. He calls Oriana over to the rectory for a meet with Lucina and them later that day.


Lina cajoles her “abuela” to invite her daddy over to live with them in the big mansion, one big happy family! (This is when Viewerville thinks "cute" needs to take a hike and manners needs a major leg up to the table.) 2nes tries talking Lina out of the idea, but the little girl is a litigation marvel, a natural, and she wins the argument with her mommy. 2nes exits the bedroom and calls Jose Luis. He’s at the Twenty-Four/ Seven Lounge with Berto and takes her call on his cell. “—We have to move the appointment with Paloma to later tomorrow. She’s too tired. Oh, and BTW, I lied when I said she knew I wasn’t Ines.” No problema, replies JL amorously. “--I wouldn’t ever betray you, mi vida. Besos.” Berto claps at the “act”, obnoxious as ever. The two men continue their discussion about Lila wanting to legally contest the will now that the do-do has hit the wind-manufacturing apparatus. JL says let her. What does he care, anyway?

Berto points out that the scandal may be so great for the company that he chooses to relinquish his stock in the company, selling off to the old lady who’d then be ripe for the picking since she’d need a strong man running things there. JL ignores that to ask if he has found the pistol Rick took from him. The house is so large, complains Berto, that he’d have to go through it room by room and there are dozens of rooms! That’s a pile of crap, says JL to the butt-faced one. “--Get it done and I don’t care how you do it. Got that?” Just then Joaquin arrives, gives Bertie the brush off, and then takes his place of pompi-pomp-assed priority on the cushioned purple couch. JL tells him Berto is a useless idiot that he now finds more of a pain than an asset. So, in the old days, offers Joaquin, we used to make those kinds of guys disappear. Problem solved.

Joaquin orders a drink and informs JL that in a day or so he’ll have the signatory problem with the bank account in Colombia solved for his wife. JL is relieved, but Joaquin tells him not so fast. He owes him another one now for this additional favorcito. “—I can’t understand why you want to retire from the business. You look like one of the upper crust and fit in perfectly. You can talk rings around them and stand to earn a huge amount of money at this.” “—My wife would never accept it.” Joqi guffaws and suggests JL shower her with gifts. Works for him. “--Not all women are alike.”

Meanwhile, Berto figures he’ll hit on Marilu for skinny on Ric. He hits her with a sob story and asks her out for happy hour and pumps her hard. Marilu unwittingly gives him the hours Ric keeps, tells him that Ric’s living in the bungalow attached to the side of the main manse and that his manservant leaves every evening and returns first thing in the morning. No, he doesn’t throw parties and his old maid auntie doesn’t either. They’re both pretty much sticks in the mud who do very little entertaining.

That evening Oriana arrives at the rectory and sees Lucina there with Padre Mariano and Ricardo. Ric explains that the time’s come to tell Paloma that she’s not really Ines Valdivia. Oriana realizes that she cannot continue lying to Paloma any longer. “—Yes, I’ve put it off too long already.” Ric is certain that Paloma won’t turn her into the police. Mariano and he advise her to move in with Lucina for a while. As for the three million pesos Lucina and Raqi owe Paloma, he’ll be happy to hand that amount over to Lucina so she can repay it to Paloma in full. She shouldn’t have to feel obligated to go back with Jose Luis, either, they opine, just because she is still married to him.

Oriana has second thoughts about causing the old woman another heart attack. She cares a great deal for Paloma and that’s the last thing she’d want to have happen, she tells them anxiously. Ric reminds Oriana that at some most inopportune moment, Jose Luis could let the cat out of the bag accidentally on purrrr-pose. Or, Lucina adds, if he wants to have sex he’d be able to hold that over her head, demanding his rights like men do. “--JL may sweet talk you by saying he’d always respect you, but men never do,” let alone the malevolent, self-seeking Mafioso type Jose Luis is now. Lucinda adds that if her hubby does get those charges dropped and has a document to prove it, then Oriana can get a divorce finally and be free of him. Mariano seconds that, saying the Church will also allow a separation if the husband becomes involved in criminal activities.

Oriana asks how she’s supposed to fix the assumed identity problem. Lucina suggests telling their whole story to Manolo, her cop buddy from San Carlos. He’s as much a friend as a cop to Lucina and will be able to suggest something that makes sense she believes. Oriana tells them that Lina wants her daddy to move into Paloma’s house, which is another headache to consider. Ric jealously says they’ve already discussed that and it’s not doable. Lucina is totally against that idea also, but for more sensible reasons. “—You can’t do everything your child wants you to. Lina is only a little girl and you need to live your own life, unless you want to end up a bitter old woman, or worse yet, a nun!” (Hive Fiver to Lucina!) Mariano suggests taking Lina to a child psychiatrist for therapy to help her understand their situation better.

After much persuasion from Lucinda, Oriana agrees that she’ll join the others to make a clean breast of it all, but only if Paloma’s cardiologist is there in case the old lady’s heart palpitations get the best of her, She then calls Jose Luis, who is now boored stiff while “partying” with Joaquin and a stable of dancing doxies, to change the appointment with Paloma till the next afternoon. She lies and says it’s because the cardiologist is coming for a routine follow up in the morning. JL sees no problem and agrees.

The next morning everyone sits in Paloma’s office area of Paloma’s bedroom waiting for her arrival so they can begin the whole miserably embarrassing, wretched story. Lucina gives Paloma the “once upon a time” version. Paloma soon realizes she’s hearing 2nes’s past and that it means 2nes is not True-nes Valdivia after all. Paloma, now tired and saddened by the realization, wants to know why they tricked her. Ric explains gently that Oriana had no choice if she was going to protect her daughter; but he emphasizes quickly that she also was worried about Paloma’s health because she truly loves her and wanted no harm to come to her. “--Then where is my granddaughter? Where is Ines?” Mariano slickly remarks that she’s joined her mother in heaven. Lucina relates how Ines came to her hotel and the next day died from an overdose of drugs while swimming in the ocean, and without any I.D. on her. Lucina clarifies that because she was unidentified, she was eventually cremated with all the other unidentified bodies the police find. She hands Paloma the only thing of value that was left in her hotel room. Paloma recognizes it as the gold locket she’d given her daughter before she was run off by her father. Lucina wipes away her tears. “—If you want to blame anybody, blame me. I was the one who planned and caused this whole mess. I thought falsifying the documents and the passport would be the best way to insure Oriana could keep hold of her daughter.”

Just about that time, Mathilde comes sniffing around and enters the room, wanting to know what the gang is talking about that’s got her aunt so disturbed. Ric walks her back into the hallway. He tells her this doesn’t concern her and to let them finish up. Wouldn’t you know it, though! A minute later, Mad Hilde opens the door, in demand stance again. Ric, very perturbed, leaves with her and tells her it’s undignified for a “lady” like herself to be eavesdropping through a closed door the way she’s been. “--Be kind enough not to do this!” He has to warn her twice, second time not as nice.

Oriana now leaves to pack her and Lina’s things. She’s moving out. Ric begs her to stay a bit longer and to give her own version, to then ask for forgiveness and perhaps offer to leave after that—but not like this! Not like a thief in the night! Oriana, though, is certain the old lady will call the police down on her, though Ric says he doesn’t believe that will happen. Well, if nothing else she is certain she will never want to speak to her again in this lifetime or the next. As far as she is concerned, she is a thief. She’s stolen the old woman’s affections and she’s stolen her granddaughter’s identity!

Mad Hilde walks into the anteroom where Oriana’s left her bags. Whose are those, she asks? Ric and Lucinda explain they’re Ines’s. “--She’s going on vacation.” “—Oh, don’t tell me she’s really a whore?” Ric tells her to can the trash talk.

Outside, a few minutes later, Lina returns from school and sees the bags and the dog on the lawn. They’re leaving to stay at Lucina’s, says Oriana. They pack up and Oriana stops to cancel JL’s afternoon appointment. He doesn’t understand and doesn’t believe the excuse. Oriana clicks off without any further explanation. Mad Hilde show up on the lawn a minute later and demands the older maid tell her what’s going on. The old gal stutters out that she believes 2nes is going to live with her husband now. Maddy is pleased with herself and the news and jingles her collar bells with deliciously malicious delight. (Me-owwwwww!)

The doctor has needed to give Paloma some knock-out drops. Mariano wants to assure he’ll stay mum on the things he heard there this morning. The doctor says he’s just like a priest at confession when it comes to a patient’s personal life.

Once Oriana’s settled in at the B&B, she and Lucinda discuss whether she’ll be going back with her hubby or not. Oriana’s still not sure. She needs a job again, but she knows Lucinda can’t really offer her one. (As it is, she’s already getting free room and board.) The topic changes and Lucinda feels that having JL there will be too uncomfortable for Oriana (not to mention Raqi who is sharing his bed), so she’s going to ask him to find another hotel.

Down in the dining area, Ruben, Cesar and Raquel are chatting when Fakecisco shows up and greets them. He learns Cesar’s Ruben’s son and that he’s left the seminary to deal with his mother. Raqi mentions then that Paloma’s “granddaughter and great-granddaughter” are now living at the B&B. Lucina arrives and takes Fakecisco into her office to discuss her need for him to leave to find another hotel. He demands to know what room they’re in. “—I’m her husband and it’s migh right!” “—No, no! You’re “rights” come only as far as she wants them to. So many people know the truth about her past now that if we haven’t all gone to the police yet about you, it’s been to protect her and Lina. So, we need to ask you to find lodging somewhere else.” “Fine. Prepare my bill then!”

Raqi follows him to his room, staking out her territory with JL, and learns he’s leaving thanks to Lucina. No problem, though. He’s thinking to rent out a house and bring his family to live with him there. Raqi wonders what about her. Her? JL and she swap tongues and then he tells her that she’s been nothing more than a pleasant diversion. She slaps him and fights a second kiss, but the two of them enjoy the rough foreplay it seems. (Ehh! They’ll be seeing each other again if Raquel has anything more to say about it--and she’ll make sure she does, natch.)

Ric, meanwhile, mopes around his house in the dark. Oriana refuses to answer his calls. Raqi calls to rile him with the lie that the two turtledoves are back together again. He hangs up and races over to the B&B to find out for himself.

At the same time, Jose Luis bribes Felipe with a wad of bills to find out what room his wife’s in. He enters and gives her the news that Lucina has thrown him out but that he’s going to rent a house for them to live in instead. He threatens her, warning that if she doesn’t come live with him then he’ll see that the charges against her in Colombia are not dropped after all!

Ric gets to the B&B just as Jose Luis is schlepping his bags onto the courtyard. They stare maliciously at each other. Thunder booms and lightning crackles above. The rain starts to fall. Ric looks squarely at his rival and speaks first. “--So, Oriana came here because you were staying here?” JL laughs at him. “—Well, of course!” Ric tells him he doesn’t believe it. “—Ask her yourself.” “—You’re pressuring her, forcing her!” “—Get this straight: Oriana is my wife!” Ric immediately corrects him. “—No, she was your wife while she thought you were a decent man; but now Oriana is mine!” The two start circling and suddenly we’ve got major fisticuffs in the middle of the falling rain in the middle of the courtyard. Eventually it looks like JL has gotten the better of Ric and he knocks him down with a solid right hook to the jaw.

Ric gets it together again though, and jumps back on his feet. With the entire staff and guests looking on by now, Ric manages his own right hook to Jose Luis’s jaw, then does a quick kung-fu double legged jump-kick to the belly number on JL. This causes JL to fall flat on his back into the swimming pool. He sinks to the bottom. Oriana is drop-kick-me impactada when she sees her hubby rise back up to the top with a large pistol in his hand—and he is aiming it straight at Ric, his finger on the trigger…..

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