Caray, Caray!

Diego tells Irene the story about Natalia…well, sort of…and says he wants to make sure she's taken care of, even though he's married.

The Cop Crew tracked the Louse down in Miami.  Where his boss is furious with him…so he sends him back to Mexico to clean up his mess.

Brigitte the Brat makes plans to skip school to go to a "modeling audition" tomorrow.  Bets on whether it's a real audition?  For modeling?

Diego gives Irene a few more details over lunch, including the story of why he never got back together with her again.  He still thinks she's angry at him for standing him up.  But they keep running into each other and he wants to help her

Lupita and Brigitte the Brat visit Carmen in prison.  Carmen talks to Lupita about how they're all in there for different reasons, how people have to pay for their mistakes.  She introduces the girls to her cellmate.  Brigitte makes bratty faces at the cellmate and snotty remarks about what kind of "friends" all the women there must be to each other.  As the girls walk away, Cellmate tells Carmen to stay strong, don't cry, and be thankful for her daughters.  2 out of 3 anyway.  I won't say which 2.

Diego and Irene ponder the oddness of Padre Juancho coming to warn him off just for having stood Natalia up.  Diego thinks he doesn't even have the right to think about Natalia.

Outside the prison, Lupita, Brigitte, and Abdul run into Alberto, who offers them a ride home.  Alberto might have been giving Brigitte a look.  Please, Alberto, don't be giving Brigitte a look.  Her mom and Natalia might be admirable, but Brigitte…she's got a LONG way to go yet.

The Louse has left the hotel, so Eleazar thinks he must know that the cops are onto him.  He goes home in a huff after complaining to Jackie that it's going to take forever to get Carmen out of jail.

Diana calls Diego to grovel and they set a dinner date.  Karina gives her a big thumbs up for acting like the decent human being that Diego wants to be married to and not the shallow tramp she really is.  She then talks about buying a "Whoops!  Sorry I stupidly, rudely, and unnecessarily barged into your office in the middle of a session with a patient," present.  And blabs about the patient being Irene.  Blabs gleefully.  You're going down, Karina.

Natalia calls Boss Good Vibes to tell her about the overheard conversation.  BGV wants to consult the cards again, but Natalia's still got a hangover from the last time.  They hang up when Diego comes back from lunch.  He noticed the container of soup again and chides Natalia for not actually going out for lunch.  "I like soup."  Something about that just struck me as especially funny.  Diego gives her a little pep talk about how Alberto will get her mom out of prison, don’t'cha worry!  Natalia takes back her earlier request to be transferred.  Diego agrees and then practically runs into his office like he has an urgent need to do a really dorky-looking victory dance.

At the end of the day, Natalia wishes Diego a good evening, and he tells her to make sure she has a decent dinner and doesn't neglect herself.  Of course, that's not what they were really saying.  As Natalia goes back to her desk to pack up, Diana shows up.  She conveniently fake-apologizes to Natalia just as Diego opens the office door and the two of them head off to dinner.

Luz comes over to Casa Garcia to get Abdul's help with her leaky sink and get the update on Carmen from Lupita.  Of course, the real reason her sink was leaking is so that Abdul could be conveniently under it when Eleazar came by to give Luz some money and get a call from Morales about The Shrimp's new favorite bar.  Of course, Abdul learned his lesson after that night in jail, and he's definitely not going to head out to the bar to try to nab The Shrimp himself.  No, of course not.  He's going to head out to the bar WITH PABLO, after they've lied to their sisters about going out to play pool and done something to make themselves look older so they can get into the bar at all.

Karina comes over to give Alonso some dinky plant that's supposed to be lucky or whatever as a fake apology for rudely barging into his office, even though she still doesn’t realize what she did was wrong or feel the least bit sorry about it.  Alonso tries to explain how it's not about him being upset, it's about barging into his office being disrespectful, especially to his client.  He seems relieved when she says she apologized to Irene already.  Dude.  Don't seem relieved.  You've seen her idea of apologizing.  She tries to get him to take her out for a drink (despite her plugged-up-sounding nose) and when he begs off, saying he was headed over to Alberto's for a game of dominos, SHE INVITES HERSELF ALONG.  Karina!  What is your problem?!  It's GUY'S NIGHT!  Know what that means?  It's for THE GUYS.  You do not invite yourself to GUY'S NIGHT, especially when you are NOT A GUY.  GUY'S NIGHT is sacred!  Go home and take your decongestants!  Aw, crap.  Alberto exposes the lie by coming over and asking for a beer after his crappy day.  He thinks it's funny that after a one-night-stand…oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, it wasn't even that…after helping him find an apartment, now Karina's gone all Fatal Attraction on him.

Pablo and Abdul are subjected to questioning by a suspicious Lupita, but they make it past her.  Sorry, Mr. 5ft.  He was hoping Lupita would bring the smackdown and save us from the horrors that we all know are going to ensue.  Lupita then goes into Brigitte the Brat's room, where she's trying to select an outfit for her fake audition tomorrow.  She shoves Lupita and makes her spill her food on the pile of dresses on the bed.  Just as I'm starting to think that it's really Lupita babysitting all the older kids, since she's the one with the most sense, Natalia walks in, asks QTH the dresses were doing on the bed in the first place, and hears about the audition.

OK, dinner of doom.  Diana tries to make nice with Diego…well, she tries to speak sweetly when she blames her crappy attitude on his shift in behavior, which is nicer than usual.  She gets right back to being her usual nasty self when she suggests they have a baby.  Well, she gets right back to being her usual nasty self after she suggests it and he says "Hell no!" and right around the time she screams at him loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear that he's a rat bastard and why isn't it enough for him that she's willing to sacrifice her body, her time, whatever, whatever, to "give" him a child and right before she throws a glass of red wine at him.  Yeah, I think that's about how it went.  Gosh, did she even make it through the entire dinner before the pressure of acting human got to be too much for her?

The Blues Brothers show up at The Shrimp's new favorite bar.  There's fake facial hair involved.  And they have no idea who The Shrimp is.  Boys, boys, boys…do not shoot the tequila!  And also, do not tell the barman you're looking for The Shrimp.  Because he'll take you to the office in the back where Eleazar is monitoring the operation.  I find I can bear this outcome with great equanimity.

Natalia tries to talk some sense into Brigitte the Brat about this suspicious-sounding modeling audition.  She's partly correct about getting modeling jobs through an agent.  It's certainly possible to get a legitimate modeling job through an ad in the paper or on Craigslist.  But if you have a reputable agent, then you don't have to worry about showing up for a "modeling" "audition" and having it turn into that scene from Fame.  Which is pretty much where I'm assuming this is heading.  Brigitte accuses Natalia of being jealous of the big bucks she's going to be raking in.  She tells Natalia she won't get taken advantage of because, "I'm not the naïve one. That's you."  Brat.

Eleazar sends the boys home with Morales and threatens to arrest them with obstructing an investigation if they pull a stunt like this again.  "It had to be the Garcias!" he moans to himself.

The Blues Brothers get home and tell Natalia they were just out at the pool hall.  Too late, though…Eleazar already called her.  Natalia chews them out and they promise not to do it again.

Diana goes to Karina's yet again.  Karina tells her she screwed up royally.  She tries to get Diana to answer the phone when Diego calls her house, but Diana tells Diego she doesn't want to talk to him and hangs up on him.

The bar was a bust, so the Cop Crew pack it in for the night.

In Grumpy Gramps' office, Diego tells Irene what happened at dinner.  She agrees that having a kid with the relationship the way it is is a terrible idea.  Grumpy Grandpa hears Diego say he's going to ask for a divorce.  He refuses, but Diego holds his ground and walks out of the office.  Irene tries to tell him that he should hear Diego out, but Grumps is convinced he just wants to trade Diana in for Natalia.  Who he's convinced is a grubby little social climber.

Brigitte asks Natalia if she can borrow a dress.  Natalia not only says she will, but since she can't handle the tension of fighting with her sister, she even wishes her luck tomorrow.  I don't know if I really believe Brigitte when she agrees that she doesn't like fighting with Natalia.

Out in front of the apartment building, Eleazar runs into the Bro Boys, they all figure out how they know each other, and they talk smack about playing dominos.  For tonight, Eleazar just wants to rest, but next dominos night, it is so on!

Diego calls Natalia and hangs up.  Diego!  Don't call Natalia.  She calls him back, assuming the call got cut off.  "Ummm…I was wondering if you had a good dinner, cause you're always eating instant soup."  So, not really a booty call, more of a…soup call?

Up in Alonso's place, which seems to be Bro Boy central, Diego arrives.  In an unstained shirt.  Looking for some beer and company.  And a delicious dinner sandwich, since I doubt he ate at the restaurant.

Brigitte gets to the casting, where there's at least a line and a conservatively-dressed woman with a clipboard taking names.  Although, all the woman asks is "What's your name?"  "Don't you have a last name?" and "Are you of legal age?"

Diana's still pissy the next morning.  Karina tells her come to the office, take advantage of the bags under her eyes, and try to get Diego to feel sorry for her.

At The Big House, Grumps apologizes to Irene for not listening to her the night before.   He lays it on thick, but she's onto his game.  He just wants her support in convincing Diego not to get a divorce.  She reminds him he hasn't called her "hija" since before he had her locked up in Tuxpan to keep from sullying the family name.  What an ass.

The guy Brigitte talked to on the phone blows a whole lot of smoke at a line of hopeful girls about wanting them confident and…cooperative.  He reminds them that this is the opportunity they've been waiting for.

Karina hisses instructions to Diana about not being hysterical just before they round the corner and see Natalia.  Karina tries to pee all over her territory, telling Natalia that she was only subbing for her and she can go now.  Oh, she's not a sub?  "Well, then we can clear that up as soon as my FRIEND is done talking to her HUSBAND."

Diana goes in to whine to Diego about how he rejected her.  They both agree they've been thinking.  Diana tells him she can wait for a child.  Diego says it's not that, it's her attitude…her snobbishness, her tantrums…and she keeps saying she'll change, but it doesn't stick.  "It was a mistake to get married.  So I'm seriously thinking we should get a divorce."  Diana walks out without saying a word, to announce it to Karina out in the waiting area.  Natalia tries to offer her a bottled water, but Karina hustles her out of there.

Brigitte comes in for the "casting" and struts around on the stage while the skeevy guy watches and THE SHRIMP(!!!!!!!!!!!) whispers in his ear "I want this one for me."

Natalia comes into Diego's office to tell him that she's heard he wants a divorce.  "If you're doing this for me, you're making a big mistake.  After what happened in Tuxpan, I could never love you.  Whatever we had is dead."

Tomorrow: Carmen starts having trouble in prison; Diego declares his love to Natalia.

Labels: te-quiero