Caray, Caray!

Grumpy Grandpa hands over what he says is a sizeable check, but Natalia tears it up and tells him he and his creepy grandson can both stuff it!  Brigitte thinks that was a stupid move, but then, she's Brigitte.

Carlos steals Carmen from the fonda with her sons'  blessing.  He shows her the house he's thinking of buying, to get her approval.  Carmen loves the house (that staircase looks familiar…what house is this?  The one from Al Diablo Con Los Guapos?  The kitchen looks familiar, too.) but thinks it's too big for one person.  Carlos, of course, intends the house to be for ALL of them.

Back at the office, Karina is having a hard time with things like the difference between sales reports and purchase reports.  Yeah.  That's a stumper.  Grumpy Grandpa tells Diego about his visit, which he of course justifies because Diego is an immature idiot who needs someone to clean up his messes.  The immature idiot storms out of the office after giving Karina some lip about it.

Brigitte, on yet another break from the arduous task of not working, is interrupted by Diego coming to visit Casa Garcia, aka Garcia Central Station.  She quizzes him about work.  When la chiquita de Lupita (little Lupita) comes home and hears his name, she throws him out.  She may be small, but she means business!  Once he's gone, she yells at Brigitte.

Carmen gets back to the fonda and hears about the new not-job and Grumpy Grandpa's visit.  She's furious, but she brightens up when she tells the kids about the house.

Irene arrives at the house…she is apparently the twins' aunt and I doubt the maid's assertion that her dad will be happy to see her.  Grumpy Grandpa's not happy to see anything but fat profits.  Diego seems happy to see her, though, even if it's only for a short visit.  He drops her off at a gallery that's showing her friend's artwork (the reason she came to town).

Alonso calls Diego, but ends up asking Karina to put him in contact with someone who can help him find a new place to live…in her neighborhood.

Diana and the Sexter get busted smooching by the other Bro Boy, Alberto.  Diana goes running to Karina to tell her that she got busted .  It's news to Karina that Diana has a little something-something on the side.

When the family gets home, Lupita TOTALLY rats Brigitte out, despite Brigitte's threatening.  Caras de enojo de the entire family, looking at Brigitte.

The guy the cops are trying to trap has been nicknamed "The Shrimp" (el camaron).  Does this have anything to do with Jackie's bizarre golden tan?  Are shrimp attracted to shiny things?  How does one catch shrimp, exactly?  At a bar, apparently.  They're both wired for sound and from the van, Underling (whose name I'll get eventually) tells them The Shrimp has just entered the bar.  The Shrimp has no fashion sense.  Eleazar is alarmed because Jackie's putting the moves on The Shrimp, but he's got no audio.  Eleazar doesn't see CARLOS come in and tell The Shrimp he's got some good looking company!  We knew it!  We knew he was up to no good!  When The Shrimp gives him a hard time, he moves on to another table.  Eleazar comes back in, asks for, and gets, a signal from Jackie that their audio is working again.  Back at the office, Jackie says she didn't get anything out of the guy.  She wants to go alone next time and says she's dealt with more dangerous situations.

At the gallery, Irene refuses champagne (recovering alcoholic?) and runs into Tadeo, yet another silver fox, but the music indicates that he's bad news…if not in general, at least to her.  He's happy to see her and pays her compliments, but she acts like he's done something terrible.  He mentions them breaking up because he went to Paris and she calls it "tragic" and refuses to give him further details about why it was so bad for her.

Alberto finds Alonso at a bar (I'm so going to keep mixing those names, up, I know it!  Alonso is a doctor, so…ummm…I'll have to resort to, "there's an 's' in 'physician' and an 's' in 'Alonso'"?).  Anyway, Alberto announces, "You'll never guess who's being cheated on!" just in time for Diego to show up and ask, "Who?"  Alberto covers and says it was…um…"Enrique."  He pretends to be conflicted about whether he should tell, and Diego says absolutely!  "I'd be pissed if I found out I was being cheated on and one of you knew and didn't tell me!"  He gets a call from Grandpa, who is both pissed that he wasn't informed Irene was home and alarmed that she's at a gallery because they ALWAYS serve alcohol.  Diego goes to retrieve his aunt, leaving Alberto to tell Alonso that, yes, it was Diana he saw, but he doesn't know who the guy was.

Irene walks down the sidewalk, reminiscing about going to a lab and finding out she was pregnant with Tadeo's baby.  Or could it be…pregnant with his TWIN babies?  But he told her he'd gotten the scholarship to go to Paris before she could tell him her news.  So she asks "What if I told you I was pregnant?"  The dumbass didn't think she was serious, so he poured her a drink, saying even that wouldn't stop him from going.  "He never loved me."  Irene heads into a conveniently located bar.  She starts right in ordering a bottle and lets a skeevy guy sit with her.

Diego gets home, but Irene isn't there.  After waiting for a while, Diego decides to go back to the gallery to start looking for her.  He leaves Diana with Grumpy Grandpa, but she ditches him ASAP to go call Karina and marvel that Diego seems clueless.  She figures Alberto just didn't happen to run into him.  Karina is unconcerned and just wants to sleep.

Diego has no luck at the gallery, because Irene has gone to a motel with the skeevy guy.  She's a philosophical drunk, saying there is no heaven, only hell, and she's very familiar with hell.  He actually asks her to tell him about it, if she wants to.  Irene remembers being exiled to the house in Veracruz during her pregnancy.  She tried to run away and ended up having her baby GIRL in a rainstorm in the middle of the woods, alone.  It's Natalia!  No, wait, that would mean she and Diego are cousins.  Well, she says she passed out and woke up in her bed days later.  The maid told her she found Irene and the baby, but the baby froze to death.  OK, maybe her baby really is dead?  Is that likely?  Skeevy guy is now ready to get down to business, but Irene's having none of it.

The next morning, Diego's still looking. He's called all over.  He finally gets a call from the cops. She was arrested for vandalism.  Grumpy Grandpa hears Diego telling the maid and screams that she'll never change and her alcoholism is a "curse" on the family.  Piss off.

Alberto is determined to tell Diego, so Alfonso suggests they tell him together, in his office, in half an hour.

Irene is contrite when Diego shows up.  He hands over all his cash to pay damages and his business card to prove he's good for the rest.  There is 1 paparazzo there, since she's Vicente's daughter.

Grumpy Grandpa screams at her the second they get home.  Diego tries to defend her, but Irene is numb to it.  She goes up to her room.  Grandpa wants to throw her out.  Or have her locked up in a clinic forever.  Diego would prefer to try the healing powers of love.  Yeah, that just doesn't make any sense to Grandpa.

A bored, or possibly sleepy, Karina greets The Bro Boys, tells them they can wait for Diego in his office, and calls Diana.

Carlos drives up in a brand new extended cab pickup for Carmen.  Damn you, Carlos.  Carmen tries to refuse the truck, but between Carlos and the boys, and Natalia's neutrality, she might cave.  Natalia seems worried.

Irene tells Diego she really hasn't had a drink since joining AA, but last night she just couldn't help herself.  He encourages her not to give up and says he'll be there for her.

Rene Ceballos comes looking for Vicente about Irene.  Oh, it's the paparazzo, looking for a bribe.  Vicente pulls out his checkbook without hesitation.

Diego finally shows up, fills the guys in on what happened with his aunt, and before Alberto can say anything, Diana comes in with the Sexter…who is pretending to be her cousin.  Her gay cousin.  

Tomorrow: Sexter moves into the big house, Natalia is suspicious, and Carlos officially proposes.

Labels: te-quiero