Caray, Caray!

Wow, tonight we got to see the mighty deception begin to crumble - the cracks are widening and water is spurting through, but the dam will break tomorrow!

Ana Sofia's refrains tonight: "Why does this happen to me?" (The way Scarlett O'Hara regarded the Civil War - such an impediment to her happiness!) and "Just keep dancing! There's nothing to see here!"

Isela is drunk. Perla faints. Minerva, enraged at the sight of Mike and Lupita macking, throws a pebble at them.



Carmelita calls Lupita: Emiliano has disappeared! To summarize: Emi ran off from his friend's house to go to the mall with Alejo and get expensive shoes. Without telling anybody. Alejo keeps telling him it's fine, he doesn't have to call home, he's with his dad. Alejo does not answer his cellphone. Lupe and Mike run all over the place and Carmelita cries. Then Emiliano and Alejo get home, Mike wants to go punch out Alejo's lights but is restrained. Lupe yells, Emi keeps yet another secret from his mom (the sneakers). Alejo says it's time to write up an agreement about visitation.

Now back to the party. Perla manages to revive from her faint. She throws Tizoc out of the kitchen before he can rat on her diet pill habit.

Leo is intoxicated about being a duke. Or a count I guess. Anyway, he asks for a round of applause, and Ana Sofia gives a happy little speech. Enjoy it, mamacita, it's your last for quite a while.

Don Salomon gets drunker and puts the moves on Ana and later, her friend who owns the hacienda. The friend gripes to AS: "You swore all the great people would be here and there are none of them. The Emperor of Japan is not here." "They will all make their trimphal entrance later, that's protocol, don't show your ignorance."

I forget to mention that while Alejo and Emi are on the lam, they eat at SUBWAY where the food is WOW SO GREAT. We can see ALL THE LABELS on EVERY FOOD ITEM. And there is HEALTHY STUFF for children to eat. Then, there is an actual commercial for Subway. Yech.

In the kitchen there is gradual slippage, Lupe the competent is gone, Perla is a mess, the gardeners are not very good waiters and Wendy the hairstylist is easily distracted.

Leo and Maca have a moment alone, he is so happy to be royalty! "Wasn't it worth a little crisis before the wedding?" He crows, tomorrow we take the first plane to Spain! She says no, let's stay here! "No, Maca, you don't want to get used to the third world! And, uh, don't forget your parents owe us money for all the wedding expenses." "Let's not talk about money now, that's vulgar."

It's good that Tizoc's band plays a chipper cumbia, because there are rumbles of dissatisfaction among the guests. "There is no salmon or caviar!"

The fake condes, when asked: "Are you a count or a viscount?", answer simultaneously with contrary answers. Eyes narrow. The condes excuse themselves, they see the conde-con is coming to an end. They tell Maca to pay them right now: "People are noticing there's something wrong, it's time to go. We're leaving, you can stay with your flaming husband." They overhear AS and Leo talking ("soon they need to find out we are broke and this is a farce!") and realize a counter-con is being run. Luckily, they also notice the coat room is an Ali Baba's cave. They go to loot it! Then Grandma sees them at it!

Obviously, when Don Chuy asks Wendy to watch the meat on the grill, she goes off and dances and the meat goes up in flames. They serve it "a la carbon" and Chuy suggests that the guests scrape off the black part, it's only medium well done inside.

Tato and Tizoc start a fist fight. The guests are aghast. Everybody is also complaining about the service. "What are the savages up to!" exclaims Ana Sofia. She tries to get everybody dancing but things are getting too weird to be explained away...

Don Salomon puts the moves on the hacienda owner, she delightfully labels him "libidinoso!" Don Chuy threatens him with a cold bath and tells him to wait in the truck for Gacela. "I love when she says "porca miseria!" "Undoubtedly she will say that."

Grandma goes to inform Ana Sofia about the robbery. "Don't start with your delirium!" "But those Spaniards are stealing everything!" Leo: "That happened in the conquest! Mexico is independent now."

AS, who has been telling everybody nothing is wrong and they should just dance, despairs to Leo, she's having a nervous breakdown! "Apocalyptic! Fatal! Catastrofica!" He won't let her drink: "Get Zen! Soon we'll be in Spain! I had my doubts but now -- I am a count!" The only one dancing is Vanessa, she is shaking her assets, the guests are rolling their eyes, Wendy and Perla join her.

Frida brushes Tato off. "It's been over for a long time. And besides, I'm going to Spain." Tizoc leaves his band to tell Frida the fight wasn't his fault. She calls him macho, he calls her a snob.

A big guy comes up to Tizoc: "I am an Empresario. I like your music. Here is my card. Call me." Tizoc is so happy - he tells Frida she'll hear about him even when she's on the other side of the world.

People are leaving, rudely complaining about the wedding and especially the terrible food. AS: "But I paid so much to have the most elegant caterers!"

And now - the guests are discovering their stuff is all stolen! AS opens her eyes widely. The penny drops.

Tomorrow: it drops some more, and some more, and some more...

Labels: pobres