Caray, Caray!

Tad's maid gets a stern talking-to for letting Vicente in without finding out who he was.  Vicente's there to interrogate Tad about why he married Irene.  Vicente doesn't take Tad's status as "famous painter" very seriously and thinks he married Irene for her name.  He throws the scholarship in his face, but Tad defends himself, saying he would have made a name for himself--with or without the scholarship.  He calls Vicente on his crappy treatment of Irene, especially when she was pregnant.  Vicente sticks to his story, that he's done the right thing for his family.  Tad says one day Vicente will be asking for forgiveness.

Mrs. Tiburcio apologizes to Irene for Tiburcio's panic attack.  She explains about working with him to communicate using the alphabet poster.

Tad calls the PI and gives him a stern talking-to for not telling Tad that he talked to Vicente.  The PI makes some placating noises…and some I-need-money noises.  Creep.

Luchón, Gino's old butler…'cause we all know he lied about that...calls a woman from a pay phone.  She speaks Italian, so I hope he brought a lot of quarters.  Blah, blah, blah, Italian chattering, "vendetta."  I think we all know what that means.



Padre Juancho sees Mara in the courtyard with all her bags.  Some other priest showed up and kicked her out.  Said priest "reminds" PJ that he'd already told him that Mara can't stay there.  PJ holds his ground and Mara backs him up and explains that her mom's making stuff up.  The other priest is too busy worrying about public opinion and threatens, however politely, to fire PJ.  He suggests PJ go on retreat and meditate about it.  PJ quits.

Natalia visits RoDiego's office, where he oozes all over her.  Nat mentions Tiburcio's behavior that morning, and Mrs. T's attempts to communicate with him.  Nat and Irene ran into Vicente (offscreen) and she doesn't think he's as enthusiastic as he claimed (which probably wasn't very) about having the reception at the house.  They're interrupted by a call from Licenciado Cano.

Mara and PJ go to the fonda, where Carmen is outraged…outraged!  The family, minus Natalia and Brigitte, get the update. Mara and PJ have to find someplace to stay.  Mara accepts Angela's invitation, even though it will mean living near her mother.  Poor Mara feels like the Garcias are the family she's never had.

Tiburcio is still agitated.  He's managed to spell out "la hija" and "pesebre" but has now resorted to grunting, which frustrates Mrs. T.

Mara's mom sees Angela and Mara at the apartments and assumes Mara is coming back home, but Angela gets in her face and says Mara's staying with HER!

Mrs. T doesn't believe Tiburcio, though he's managed to spell out enough to indicate that Natalia is Irene's daughter.  She refuses to pass on the message.

Mara's mom gets ugly with Angela, so Mara stands up for herself and says if mama wanted her out, then she got what she wanted, so live with it!

Natalia  and RoDiego come home and are greeted with Carmen and PJ's long faces.  Siddown, kids.

Mrs. T thinks the alphabet poster is doing more harm than good and puts everything away.  "When you're feeling better, even you won't believe this nonsense!"

PJ tells the kids he can't marry them tomorrow and Natalia won't get married without him.  RoDiego is understandably miffed.  RoDiego demands to speak to Natalia alone, as it's up to them how to handle this.  Translation: I need to get Natalia alone so I can convince her to marry me tomorrow, otherwise Diego will die and I won't be able to enjoy my revenge.  Carmen and PJ listen at the door as RoDiego fakely whines about his feelings and Natalia doesn't listen to her own feelings and wonder why she'd be willing to put off her wedding instead of accepting a substitute priest.  RoDiego convinces her to do the civil wedding tomorrow and the religious wedding later, that way they don't have to wait for the nookie.

The PI is having no better luck at the orphanages.

Natalia and RoDiego inform Carmen and PJ of the decision they already heard.  Carmen looks worried about RoDiego's possessive language as he's bidding Natalia a good night. He and PJ leave.  Carmen freaks Natalia out, insisting Nat can't leave the house until she's married in the church…hahaha, fooled you!  Natalia laughs, then wonders what to wear…I guess she wants to save Irene's tribute to ruffles for the church wedding.  Nat and Carmen are going to give one of her old dresses a makeover.

RoDiego gets home and meets Mrs. T on her way out. Since Tiburcio is alone, RoDiego goes in to torment him.  I think for the alphabet thing, they should have had him blink when they got to the letter he wanted, instead of blinking "yes/no" for each letter.  That's ok…RoDiego is diabolical, but he can be patient.  A…B…C….  He finds the notebook and reads "Irene's daughter is Natalia.  I left her in the manger."  RoDiego is convinced by Tiburcio's desperate groans. Mrs. T comes back and tells him her husband is nuts and it can't be true.

Irene tells Tad she ran into Vicente (offscreen) when she and Natalia were at the house earlier.  She apologizes for what she's sure was a horrible conversation when he came over to Tad's earlier.  She fills him in on Tiburcio.  Tad's counting on the PI and his special PI skills.

Mrs. T sticks to her story.  RoDiego pretends to believe her.  Mrs. T explains that she never saw the baby, just took Tiburcio's word for it that the baby was dead.  RoDiego says if it's true, she's Tiburcio's accomplice in the crime (of kidnapping?) and so it's really better if she keep quiet about this…after all, Irene will blame them.  He kindly offers to find out if it's true or not and then figure out how to break it to his aunt gently.

RoDiego goes to gloat over Diego's bed and spill the whole story to him.  He brags that he won.  Irma comes in, but ignores RoDiego until he forces her to talk to him.  She mocks him for being all excited to get Natalia into bed when she thinks he's his comatose brother.  "You never would have won her on your own."

The Garcias arrive at the Cacares mansion, Natalia in a lacy dress, and start getting set up for the wedding while Vicente glares.  PJ takes the opportunity to lecture the kids a little, even though they're not having a religious wedding today.  "If you make her suffer, you'll deal with me," he adds.  Irene and Tad show up and Carmen congratulates them on their marriage.  Vicente glares some more and drinks.

Irma comforts a comatose Diego and says they can't stop the wedding, but maybe she can free him from his brother.

Carmen and Irene talk about trying not to cry.  Alonso comes in alone, prompting Tad to sigh and look at Irene.  Alonso greets the happy couple and then RoDiego breaks it to him that he won't be serving as witness because Irene is their other witness and it would be awkward.

Mara's mother goes to yet another priest and puts on a big show of saying that PJ had nefarious intentions toward Mara.  She claims that Angela, who Mara's now living with, is "liberal" and hints that she's only using that word to be polite.  The monsignor vows to look into this personally and help Mara's mom get her "baby" back.

Grump's grumpy mood drives Alonso away from the couch and into Irene.  Mumbling, mumbling…Alonso walks away.  Tad looks on.  Brigitte gets directions to the upstairs bathroom, probably hoping to meet RoDiego for some pre-wedding nookie.  She runs into Irma and keeps up the pretense of looking for a bathroom.  I don't think Irma bought it.  Brigitte finds "Diego's" room and sniffs his pillows like a proper stalker.

RoDiego tells Tad he'd like him to be their witness.  He takes an important sext from Brigitte and tamps down his angry response.  I say just leave her up there alone.

Irma goes to the kitchen to beg Mrs. T to DISCREETLY tell Alonso that she needs to speak with him.

Brigitte was alone too long and found a picture of Rod and Diego together.  RoDiego claims it's Photoshopped…he thought a professional photographer could capture his two sides.  Brigitte has met them both, and she likes the nice one better.  She was going to give him a little bachelor party action, but she's upset now that she saw Irma in her nurse's outfit, so he can jump out of his own damn cake.  Lala knocks on the door to let him know the judge has arrived.  RoDiego shoos Brigitte out of the room and gives her a bit of a head start before he follows.

Irma tells Alonso that "Rodrigo" is having stronger reflex reactions and she thinks he should be tested ASAP!

The judge gets the party started, with the legal version of a sermon.  He steps on Padre Juancho's toes a bit, throwing a lot of quasi-religious stuff in there.  Obedience?  What century are we in?  Now that he's had his say, he hands over the paperwork for everyone to sign.  RoDiego looks uncomfortable when Natalia says she loves him.

Diego opens his eyes and mumbles Natalia's name.  Irma tells him that RoDiego is downstairs getting married to her.  "He won.  Forget about her," she says, sadly…then dopes him up again.

Natalia and Diego sign and smooch.  Brigitte sulks.  Everyone else looks appropriately happy.  Or a little sad, in Carmen's case.  Don’t worry, Carmen.  You're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a jealous, spiteful, conniving son who has it in for Natalia.  It'll be like having two Brigittes, only one of them is a guy.

RoDiego toasts his new wife, referring to "winning" her as a "prize," blah, blah, blah, clink.  Carmen can't stand it and goes to cry alone in the living room.  PJ catches up to her.  He says he'd like to cry, too.  They reminisce about their little baby in the manger.  "And to think she's ended up here…right here…."  muses Padre Juancho.  Carmen gets herself together and they go back to the party.

Angela congratulates Natalia, but brings up fate and the bad, bad vibes in this house.  She hopes they won't live there long.  "Don't worry, though, you've got an angel watching over you."  Luz congratulates Natalia and reminds her to come visit often.  Abdul flirts with Angela, but she's having none of it.  Vicente witnessed that and it was the last straw for him.  He retreats to his study to drink alone and hope they all leave soon.

Irene tells RoDiego to take good care of Natalia.  He spouts a bunch of possessive crap that gets her hackles up, but he changes the subject to her search for her daughter.  Brigitte watches him and thinks it's BS about the picture.  She flashes back to her various memories of "Diego"…the time he turned her down, then the time he started macking on her in the hallway at Caprico.  Alberto notices her grumpy face, tries to get her to be happy for RoDiego and Natalia, and fails.  The cake arrives, much to Lupita's delight, and Natalia and RoDiego hack into it.  Gino mentions wanting to get to cutting his own cake soon.  I'm sure he means cake, but also…that was totally a euphemism.  He announces to the assembled victims, uh, guests, that he and Carmen will be tying the knot soon, themselves.  Kimberly, of course, wants to make an announcement as well, but El ignores her.

The party finally breaks up and RoDiego tells Nat, Irene, and Tad that he and Natalia aren't going to Bali after all, due to a typhoon warning.  Before Natalia can get an explanation, El and Kimberly say their goodbyes and…did she wear a red, sequined dress short enough to leave nothing to the imagination?  Classy, that one.

Mrs. T chatters to T and tries to feed him cake, but he groans and grunts.  Mrs. T says Nat's a lucky one to be married to "Diego."

Brigitte and Alberto say goodbye, Brigitte wearing her usual scowl…and a dress cut up-to-there as well.  PJ says goodbye and RoDiego promises falsely to make Nat happy.  Lupita seems to have just realized Nat won't be living with her anymore, and she's not taking it well.  They have to promise she can visit whenever she wants.  Team Garcia shuffle out, leaving Carmen and Gino to chat with Nat and RoDiego.  Nat reassures them that if Carmen and Gino are getting married in 15 days, they'll be in attendance, since the honeymoon has been called off.  Carmen asks for some time alone with Nat.

Vicente visits "Rodrigo" to complain about how much tackiness went on in his house today.  Alonso comes in to check on Rodrigo, since he was there anyway.  Vicente's been wanting to ask why Irma is injecting him with a muscle relaxant.

Carmen is having a hard time letting go.  She gives her some last minute advice on being married that I mostly tune out.  Nothing about nookie…not that I have a one track mind, but that would have been entertaining, at least.

Al says there's nothing about it in Rod's file and muscle relaxants are usually only used when the patient is on a respirator.  Vicente thinks he misunderstood. Good thing Irma shows up just then to explain.

Out at the car, RoDiego updates PJ on Tiburcio.  Carmen gives RoDiego a blessing.  He doesn't sizzle.

Irma talks around the injection and tries to stall on giving Alonso the specifics.

Natalia is still pissy about canceling the honeymoon.  She doesn't like not being in on the decision to just put it off, rather than going somewhere else.  RoDiego cajoles her into not being upset with him anymore.  They mack in the hallway until Alonso comes out of "Diego's" room.

Brigitte is as grumpy as usual…she brings up the picture and demands Alberto tell her the truth.  Alberto says it's a long story and he won't tell her unless she swears to be discreet…haven't we been through that before?

RoDiego and Natalia walk Alonso down to the door, then RoDiego leaves Natalia abruptly to go talk to his grandfather.  To yell at him for wanting more tests for "Rodrigo."  Natalia hears the conversation from the hallway and asks who Rodrigo is.

Alberto tells Brigitte about the night of the coronation and Rodrigo's accident and Diego's stupid reason for not telling Natalia he had a twin (he didn't want her to think they were messing with her).

RoDiego takes Natalia in to see "Rodrigo."  He tells her that his beloved brother "Rodrigo" was taken from him in her hometown.

Alberto remembers losing sight of both Natalia and Rodrigo and finding Rodrigo knocked out.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"  RoDiego says it wasn't easy for him to talk about, especially with her, who has "so much to do with this story" because it happened the night of her coronation.  He swears he'll find out who did it and make them pay.

Brigitte says she's having a hard time understanding all this, so she can't imagine Natalia taking it well.  Alberto takes refuge in his need to keep "Diego's" confidences.

Natalia asks if he'll wake up.  RoDiego pretends he's hopeful, and keeps tormenting her with the idea that he's going to find out who did this.  "Why are you talking as if it were more than one person?"  RoDiego says it couldn't have been done by one person.  Someone even hinted that Natalia was there, or that she's the one who hurt him--"How stupid, right?  Who could think that?"  Natalia just keeps crying and gulping.

Tad overindulged, what with all the amazing food.  Irene brings him some Alka-Seletzer.  Irene says she'd like it if their daughter were like Natalia.

RoDiego keeps up with his stream of vile lies about how hard this is for him, how much it hurts to see his brother like this, how he won't rest until the people who hurt his brother end up in jail.  Natalia can't take it anymore and runs out of the room.  RoDiego smiles, saying this is only the beginning.

Nat "understands" now that it was Diego's twin who tried to rape her.  She remembers the bizarre behavior, the random wardrobe changes.  RoDiego knocks on the door to ask if she's ok.  Natalia thought bubbles that if RoDiego finds out, she's lost.  RoDiego apologizes for giving her such a big shock, but he keeps going with the raging vengeance talk.  Then he switches to his need for sex.  Natalia is SO not in the mood and thinks that this is a nightmare.

They haven't even talked about the wedding, and Gino is already planning for them to go live in Canada.  Carmen refuses to move, leaving her fonda, her friends, and her kids.  She wants to travel, but to Sicily.  Gino says they can't, because he doesn't want to run into Cuchetina.  Carmen doesn't see what the big deal is.  He claims just thinking about being on the same island with Cuchetina breaks his heart.  So…I'm guessing he told Carmen that Cuchetina divorced him and he was all broken up about it?  Carmen hugs him to comfort him and inadvertently gets a feel of Little Gino in the process.  She shoves him out the door and grins.

El is not in the mood, though Kimberly is.  He finds an excuse to leave her alone in his bed while he runs out of the apartment.

Natalia is likewise not in the mood and tells RoDiego she can't stop thinking about how he lied to her.  RoDiego lets her yell for a while and then gets her back to the bed.

El ran away to Alonso's apartment.  He's determined to go through with marrying Kimberly.  Alonso says they're both in the same boat--watching the women they love with other men.  El hides when the doorbell rings…"If it's Kimberly, I'm not here!"  Luckily, it's Alberto, come to beg a beer and complain about chicks again.

Natalia tries to talk herself into it, thinking that "Diego" loves her.  She summons some motivation and starts returning RoDiego's kisses.  "Diego, mi amor!  Te amo!"  RoDiego sees Diego standing there, saying "Natalia is mine, only mine!"

Tomorrow: the "avances" were all clips from tonight and/or previous episodes, so expect more of the same…Rod torments Natalia and we all hold our breath for Diego to wake up already.

Labels: te-quiero