Caray, Caray!

Jaiba is dazzled by Big Abdul's storefront.  Abdul the Lesser is less dazzled by what Jaiba might be doing there.  She's such a dimwit, she thinks a large Buddha statue is pure gold.  Big Abdul explains it's only gold-plated and he keeps the reeeeally expensive stuff under lock and key.

The bowling alley has sold and Luchón tells Mara that he's found another job for her.

Big Abdul takes a business call on his cell phone about some expensive jewelry and a wedding in Dubai.  Jaiba thought bubbles that she needs to hook this big fish quick, especially if she wants him to take her to Dubai…not that she knows where Dubai is.

Natalia picks on Diego for being so squeamish about being peed on.  "It worked, didn't it?  And the doctor said it was the right thing to do."  I'm not sure the doctor thinks smoochies are conducive to Diego's recovery, though.

Luz greets Eleazar happily and tells him she's teaching Kimberly how to cook.  When Kim goes off to the bedroom, Luz tells El she can tell that Kimberly doesn't want her there, but too bad!

Natalia takes a call from Vicente, who insists she must be with Diego and won't take "no" for an answer.  Since he says it's about Caprico, she says she'll put him on speaker.  Vicente tells them about the broken machinery and Diego says they'll be back as soon as they can.  Natalia goes to find the doctor and get Diego discharged.



Kimberly calls her mommy to complain about her suegra.  Mommy insists Kimberly needs to keep drugging her future husband and says a little diarrhea never hurt anyone.  Kimberly refuses and Mami says "Don't come crying to me if he dumps you again!"

Jaiba tries to sell the cantina to her contact who was getting all the permits for her, but he doesn't have the cash at the moment. Jaiba says she'll give him some time.

Rodrigo tells Vicente he's having a tech come and fix the machine.  He's pissed that Vicente summoned Diego back to the office.  And there he is…with Natalia in tow, since she's there to represent Irene.  Diego says this is all business and if Vicente insists on bringing personal stuff into it, they're going to waste time.  Vicente gloatingly grins at Rodrigo and says he changed his mind…Diego doesn't need to be there…nor Natalia, nor Irene.  Diego and Natalia leave and Rodrigo tells Vicente he's going to fix everything.  Then he takes a call from Rotundo, the PI.

Eleazar drops his mom off at home.  Carmen is passing by and when she hears them talking about Kimberly, she jokes that in her day women knew how to cook before they got engaged.  Big Abdul shows up and takes the opportunity to tell Eleazar that there's nothing going on between him and Carmen, nor is he trying to make a play for her, so if there was something going on between her and Eleazar….  Luz wonders qué the hell he's talking about, something going on between El and Carmen?  And Carmen gives Big Abdul a warning look.

The PI, predictably, tells Rodrigo that he's not married to his cousin.  Rodrigo pretends to be relieved.  Now he can focus his attention on cleaning up the mess he made with the crappy machinery.

Carmen tells Luz that Big Abdul made a mistake.  "And, so, yesterday's right hook was what?  You were defending your sister?"  Eleazar and Carmen continue their farce and Luz appears to buy it.

Diego and Natalia drive to somewhere as they talk about what just happened in the office.  Diego finds it suspicious that Rodrigo is trying to keep him away from this machine situation.  Diego also knows that brand-new high-quality machines can go for years before they have problems.  Sure, it's possible for a new machine to break, but it's not common.  Diego decides he's going to check things out at the plant in person, whether Vicente wants him to or not.  And now, on to the important stuff…what are they going to tell everyone about their relationship.  He's wiling to risk getting anything and everything thrown at him by her mother in exchange for announcing to the entire world that they're together again.  Natalia is somewhat less enthusiastic.

Carmen tells Big Abdul to please not say anything to Luz.  Big Abdul doesn't like Carmen and El lying to Luz about their feelings for each other.  Carmen tells him about the Baby Daddy Parade and Big Abdul says he doesn't count--he's not there to reclaim Carmen.  He tells her to fight for El if she wants him.  Carmen makes some weak excuses and agrees Big Abdul is right, but bats her eyelashes at him, asking him to please not say anything to Luz.  Big Abdul gets the hell out of there before the power of Carmen's eyelashes can convince him to do anything.  He meets Eleazar outside and calls him and Carmen both poor excuses for adults, running around like teenagers, lying to Luz.  "Well, if you two aren't going to tell the truth, I will!"  And off he goes, leaving Eleazar alone outside of Carmen's door.

Luz wonders if maybe she has failed to notice that Carmen and El like each other as something other than siblings.  But then she says that it's not like she can judge them for something that's not actually going on.  Whether she means judge them for liking each other if they won't admit to it or judging them as if they were siblings when they're not, I'm not sure.

El tells Carmen his mother bought it, for now, but they need to keep things quiet.  And also, he thinks Big Abdul is a liar.  "Whatever.  You're marrying the boa constrictor, so what do you care?"  She shoos him out of her place, where he runs into Luz.  "Are you sure you have nothing to confess to me?"  El says he doesn't and gets the hell out of there.  Luz demands the truth from Carmen.  Carmen continues to deny it.   Luz says, knowing what a pair of hotheads El and Carmen are, it would be a shame to mess up so many years of friendship with a failed romance.  Nat and Diego walk in and, after reassuring Carmen that it really is Diego, they announce that they're together again and they're never going to be apart again.  Yay?  Carmen says they're driving her nuts.  Diego's defense is that they're in luuuuuuuuurve and they can't live without each other.  Natalia agrees with him.  And then Diego has to explain about the fake work trip.  He asks for a chance to show he's not like the rest of his family.  "So you think you're capable of protecting my daughter from your demon of a brother?"  He doesn't answer, but come on Diego…he almost killed you!  If you're being honest the answer is that you have NO idea how to do that.

Rodrigo drinks.  He has no idea how to deal with the machinery problem and he can't stop thinking about Natalia and Diego and how Natalia is HIS, damnit!

Diego says he'll be on the alert now that he knows everything.  Natalia swears she loves him and doesn't have any more doubts.  Luz bursts into tears.  Carmen has no choice but to go along with it…but she wants a re-wedding to validate their marriage, and she's going to be keeping an eye on them.

Abdul the Lesser tells Jaiba that he followed her to her alleged date with a girlfriend.  Jaiba says he must have just lost track of her in the store while she was buying a present for her friend.  She pouts that his suspicions hurt her feelings and Abdul (TL) is won over again.

Irene ponders Tad's hopeless state without a bone marrow transplant.  And his only less slightly hopeless state with one.  She heads for the minibar, but Alonso calls her.  Borrachera averted.  Irene takes strength from hearing his voice.  She feels powerless to do anything about Tad.  Alonso tells her not to lose hope and begs her, in the name of the love they had, not to drink again.  And BTW, he still loves her.  Dude, that's nice and all, but it's also a little tacky when her husband's probably on his deathbed.  I mean, be supportive, but leave the whole "I've never stopped loving you" thing out of it.  They hang up and he cries about how he still loves her but their lives are just too far apart now.

The PI calls Tad and tells him the DNA test was negative.  Tad is disappointed, but tells the PI to keep looking for his daughter.  Tad hangs up and says it was too good to be true.

Big Abdul can't stop thinking about Carmen's eyes and how they drive him nuts and that's how he fell in love with her.  He pulls himself together and says he needs to stick to his objective--get Abdul (TL) away from Jaiba!

Diego meets with the plant manager, who tells him that the machines had been screwing up from day 1 and that Irene asked him to get them fixed, which he did, but they didn't stay fixed.  He thought it was odd, because they were behaving more like used machines than new.  Diego asks to see the paperwork from the installers and the "bitacora"  (log…I'm guessing he means the production logs).  The secretary is going to make Diego copies of the paperwork while he goes to look at the machines in person.

Morales is glad to see that El's guts are back to normal.  He brings in a bunch of paperwork for El to give it a final once-over and a signature.  El forgot to bring some paperwork from home that he needs to take to a meeting with someone Morales calls "The other boss."  El sends Morales to his place to get the paperwork for him.

Kimberly is glad Luz is teaching her how to cook.  She gets ready to prepare some brownies from a box mix and hears her mother's voice telling her to keep drugging El.  She tells her internal Mami to shut it.

Diego thanks the plant manager, Santana, for the info and asks to be kept informed.  He recognizes the name "Muriño" on the paperwork and calls him.  Muriño is Rodrigo's embezzler.  Diego asks to meet him at a nearby café and realizes that Rodrigo must have dealt with Muriño using his name.  He's determined to get all the information out of him that he can.  I would also recommend recording the conversation.  There are a number of apps for that, and it's not strange at a business meeting to have your phone sitting on the table.

Jaiba massages Abdul (TL)'s shoulders and praises him for his…performance…last night.  In the midst of a lip-lock, her phone rings and he answers it.  Someone on the other end calls Jaiba "guapa" and sets off Abdul (TL)'s jealousy again.  Jaiba figures she's going to have to get rid of him now.

Muriño meets Diego at the café.

Morales gets into El's but doesn't know where the paperwork is.  Kimberly is not in evidence.  He calls Eleazar, who says the papers are in the bedroom.  Morales helps himself to one of Kimberly's brownies.  He gives them his stamp of approval…he also gives Kimberly's freshly-showered and un-toweled body his stamp of approval.  She shoos him out of Eleazar's bedroom.

Diego plays dumb with Muriño, saying they didn't have the machines very long before they broke down, so surely they can do something, right?  Muriño says "I told you we could find some less-used ones, but all you wanted was to maximize your profits with a minimum investment."  Diego asks how much to fix them.  Muriño writes down a number on a napkin, but agrees to a 20% discount so they can keep doing business together.  "Remember, you're also paying for my discretion."  Diego agrees to the number.

Abdul (TL) remembers the fight he had with Carmen when she found out he was with Jaiba.  Then he remembers fighting with Angela over Jaiba.  Angela sees him and Abdul wants to apologize for Jaiba fighting with her.  Angela hopes one day he'll realize what a great family he had.

Diego greets Natalia in the office.  I didn't hear a password exchange.  Fools!  Diego tells Natalia that he's figured out what Rodrigo did--bought second-hand machines and passed them off as new.  He needs to find out where the money went, so he has some proof.  Then he's going to use the fact that Muriño thinks he's been dealing with "Diego" all this time to somehow get him to come to Caprico and expose the whole plan.  He'll have Rosa give him all the accounting info, since she's the only one with access to all the files.

Rodrigo decides he'll have to call Muriño to resolve the situation with the machines and asks him for a price. Muriño asks what Rodrigo's talking about, since they just made a deal.  So much for Diego's plan.

Morales is in Eleazar's apartment, hyperventilating over what to tell Eleazar.  Kimberly, now clothed, brings him the folder and asks him not to mention anything to El.  He praises her brownies…that's not a euphemism…and leaves.  Kimberly smiles that at least someone appreciates her cooking.

Rodrigo goes into Vicente's office and says he just found out their supplier defrauded them.  Vicente doesn't buy it, but Rodrigo insists it's true and that he's just as upset.

Diego calls Rosa and asks her, as a favor, to get him the paperwork about the new machines at Eskenda.  Rosa is going to sneak into Rod's office to get them while he's in Vicente's office.  Go Rosa!

Vicente blames Rodrigo for being careless because he was too busy trying to impersonate Diego to check out the company.  "Make them fix this or sue them!"  Rodrigo says the invoices were probably false, and if they sue, they'll expose Caprico to scandal.  Vicente says Rodrigo will pay for this mistake out of his "utilidades" (profit sharing).  He dismisses Rodrigo.

Alonso is worried about Irene and wishes he could give her some good news.   He calls The Only PI In All The DF.  Who is only too happy to meet him and get another paycheck.

Rodrigo busts Rosa in his office.  She says she left some papers for him to review and walks out like that's all she was doing.  Rodrigo frantically checks through what's on his desk and realizes what paperwork she took.  He's pissed she's on Diego's side…but wait, he grins, "She's not going to find anything that points to me."

Karina comes to Alonso's office as he's leaving. She wheedles a few minutes out of him to talk.  She's been to the gyno and her part of the "company" is in good shape.  She's determined to see results in 9 months.  He tells her to chill…stress isn't good for her.  And now he's got to go to an appointment.

Morales can't stop thinking about Kimberly and all of her assets.  And her brownies.  El catches him daydreaming and Morales berates himself for nearly getting busted.  He swears to himself that he won't ever speak to her again.

As Rodrigo anticipated, Diego finds nothing in the paperwork.  Natalia wonders what would happen if they requested an audit.  Diego says it will take too long and it will get in the way of operations.  He decides he'll have to somehow get his grandfather to see Muriño with him and get the truth out of him.  Natalia wishes him luck.

The PI tells Alonso he needs money.  Alonso writes him a check for enough to cover travel expense to Tuxpan.  The PI hands over the list and Alonso recognizes Natalia's name.  The PI is surprised and decides to hightail it right away.

Diego tells Vicente they have to talk about Rodrigo…and the machines…and that Rodrigo was trying to defraud the company.  Vicente believes Rodrigo's version of events and tells Diego so.  Diego hopes when Grumps comes to his senses it's not too late.

Tad's doctor says they've found a marrow donor that's 65% compatible.  If Tad's body rejects it, there could be serious consequences, though.

Diego tells Natalia about Vicente's reaction and insistence on defending Rodrigo.  Diego says that in Rodrigo's hands, Grumps is nothing more than a "pelele" (a doll).  "So, what's going to happen with the machinery?"  Diego says they'll pay to have it fixed, and it will allegedly come out of Rodrigo's paycheck. Natalia says at least Eskenda will be free soon.  That's not enough for Diego who is determined to get to the bottom of things.  And then he gets a call from Alonso to meet him now, like, NOW, at his office and no, he won't tell him why over the phone.

Tad doesn't want to risk it on this chance.  He's tired and they all know this isn't a solution.  Tad doesn't want to do it.  He wants to go back to Mexico and make the most of the time he has left.

Rodrigo comes into Irene's office, pissing off Natalia for daring to speak to her.  She tells him that she and Diego don't believe his lies about being a victim of the supplier.  "Don't you understand I've done it all for you?"

Alonso tells Diego that Irene's daughter is alive, that he contacted a PI, and that Natalia's on the list of prospective daughters.  "Of course!  The girl in the manger!"  He thinks it's too many coincidences for her not to be.  "Good thing she's not your cousin by blood!"  Diego wonders how to tell her.

Natalia tells Rod to shut it and that all he's done is lie to her since he's met her.  She tells him he tried to pretend to be Diego, but he'll never be as good as Diego, and as for the way she reacted when he kissed her…well, as far as she's concerned, she was reacting to Diego.  Rod leaves the office.

Out in the hallway, Rod bumps into Brigitte and tries to charm her into a quickie.  She reminds him that he's the one who dumped her.  She doesn't like him enough to forget all the crap he said…but then he eats her face in the hallway and convinces her to meet him outside.

Diego wants to go run and tell Natalia, but Alonso says they have to prove it first.  And prepare Natalia for the idea, because he doesn't think she'll be super thrilled.  They start plotting to get DNA.

Natalia talks to Irene.  She thinks if they're coming back it's good news and Irene keeps up the lie.  They'll be back home tonight.  Tad's determined to get the most out of life he can.

Brigitte informs Natalia that she's going to lunch now and not going to be back in the afternoon.  She's got to visit her dentist.  I was about to feel cheap and tawdry for repeating the same joke about drilling that I did when Diana went to the "dentist."  But then I remembered a fun little ditty from that divalicious classic of American Cinema, featuring Cher and Christina Aguilera…Burlesque!  And so, may I present  "Long John Blues"  (potentially not safe for viewing at work or in front of impressionable youth).

Padre Juancho hears Carmen's confession--that she lied to Luz about her feelings.  He refuses her "confession" and says everybody already knows, so quit being an idiot and snag Eleazar if she wants him, before he marries someone else.  He believes in love, his only concern is that the two of them are mostly lusting after each other and nothing more.  Carmen asks him if he could maybe help her out?  "Ha!  You said it yourself…this is confession, so I'm not allowed to say anything to anyone."

Diego gets back to the office and has to smother Natalia with a hug.  He tells her that Alonso just locked himself out of his apartment and panicked.  Natalia volunteered them to pick up Irene and Tad at the airport, which is just fine with him.  He smooshes her some more and they go to lunch.

PJ asks Carmen how long she's had a thing for Eleazar.  She says she's always been in love with him.  "Then why didn't you date him before!"  Carmen tells PJ about all the chicks Eleazar "dated" in Tuxpan..and there were a lot…and how she was hurt by that.  And then there were her baby daddies.  She admits part of the charm of each of those guys was that they reminded her of El in some way.  (It was the beard!  Someone brought that up in the comments…who was it?)  She kept waiting for "God" to bring them together, presumably at some perfect moment when neither of them was with anyone else or on the rebound from anyone else, but it never happened.

Paolo and Mara are walking along and they see Brigitte in a car, sucking face with one of the twins, but Paolo doesn't know which one.  He calls Natalia to see if she knows where Diego is.  Of course, Diego is with her, on the way to lunch.  She asks him to please tell Carmen she'll be home late, after they pick up Irene at the airport.  "But…are you sure you're with Diego?"  Natalia laughs and says she doesn't get confused anymore.  When she tells Diego what Paolo asked, Diego puts a very Rodrigo look on his face and asks if she's sure.  Then they both laugh because it's so funny.  I don't agree, but then I also hate that they don't both have a bodyguard and that either of them is willing to be alone with Rodrigo, as if he didn't try to rape Natalia and kill Diego and wouldn't follow through on either of those things if he thought he could do it without getting in trouble for it.  And that they consistently refuse to take either my suggestion of passwords or Mr. 5ft's suggestion of giant forehead tattoos.

Abdul (TL) goes to the cantina, looking for Jaiba.  One of the crabettes sees him popping open a beer and wants to console him.  Abdul asks who calls Jaiba "guapa" and she tells him that it was probably a wrong number and if he doesn't trust Jaiba, just leave.  "Nah.  I acted like a stupid macho schmo when I left the house, so I'm not going to go back with my tail between my legs."

Jaiba goes to Big Abdul's to tell him they have to be more discreet.  "Well, I'd better not contact you again until you break up with him."  He pretends to be rather impatient to have Jaiba all to himself and asks her to close her eyes, because he has a surprise for her.  Not the ring she was hoping for, but something expensive.  He tells her it has an even greater sentimental than monetary value.  (It looks like a paperweight/pencil holder.)

The crabettes watch Abdul (TL) get drunk.  The one who, I think, is Jaiba's niece really feels sorry for him and wants to open his eyes to what Jaiba's doing, but the other crabettes talk her out of it.

Rodrigo and Brigitte are post-coital.  He makes it clear she's not getting anything out of him but sex.  He tries to ask about Natalia and Diego, but Brigitte doesn't like talking about them during naked time.  Rod complies with her wishes and starts in on round 2.

Kimberly comes to El's office and apologizes to Morales for her earlier rudeness.  He tells her it was really his fault.  He wishes he could forget what happened, but…*grin*.  Eleazar comes in, furious about the way the meeting went, and then yells at Kimberly for coming to the office during work hours.  She leaves and Morales tells El that he was out of line.  Now Eleazar and Morales get into an argument about it and when Eleazar threatens Morales with a 24-hour arrest for arguing with him, Morales says to make it 48, 'cause he's not backing down.

Jaiba is unhappy with the crabettes for "letting" Abdul (TL) get drunk.  Her niece tells her she'd better watch out, 'cause Abdul is suspicious of her.  I don't quite understand the niece's warning about how in this business, whoever falls in love loses, since she says that Abdul is the one in love.  Or why Jaiba looks worried.

El knows that Morales was right and he shouldn't have treated Kimberly like that.  He plans to bring home dinner and figures that will fix things.  Morales comes in for the paperwork and El apologizes to him.

Tad and Irene are home, with Natalia and Diego in tow.  Tad insists on staying up because they have guests.  Tad wants to hear about how they got back together.  Diego tells him about tricking Natalia into schlepping her luggage through five miles of jungle….

Big Abdul is taking Carmen somewhere they can talk about Abdul (TL).  He thinks Jaiba is getting ready to break up with Abdul.  He brings her to a taco place and she complains that they could have gone somewhere closer.  They run into Eleazar at the taco place and Carmen says she doesn't care what he thinks.  El brags about bringing tacos home to Kimberly.  Carmen plants a kiss on Big Abdul to make Eleazar jealous and Big Abdul doesn't look entirely thrilled about it.

Rodrigo keeps going on and on about Natalia and Diego.  Brigitte doesn't think he can "destroy" them as he keeps bragging about wanting to do.  And she's sure that he still wants Natalia.  She demands he let her out of his car immediately.  "If you really want revenge, call me.  The way you are now, I don't even think you'd dare to hurt them."  Rod rolls his eyes at her, saying he thought  he was supposed to be the evil one.

Big Abdul tells Carmen she doesn't have any business kissing him like that when they'd decided there was going to be nothing between them.  She acts like it wasn't a big deal but he says she's lighting his fire again and then stares at her until she gets uncomfortable and looks away.

Eleazar comes home with the tacos and they end up having yet another argument.  He didn't call to tell her he was bringing home dinner and she made his mom's chicken soup.  Oh, but now he's sick of chicken soup.  Kimberly is pissed that he's treating her like this and wishes he'd just tell her what it is he wants--for her to cook?  To bring home dinner every night?  "Stop bothering me!"  Eleazar says and stomps off to the bedroom.

Brigitte gets home.  Alberto finds it odd that Brigitte enjoyed her visit to the dentist so much.  She goes to take a bath, after she rejects his offer to join her.

Everybody gets a laugh about the man-of-war sting cure, but Diego is too busy thinking about how he might very well have Natalia sitting here with her parents and none of them know it.  Irene and Natalia clear the table.  Tad can't hold it in any longer and tells Diego about the PI finding Natalia's name on the list of babies born in Tuxpan…but the DNA test was negative.

Tomorrow:  Natalia tells Irene that she was found in the manger, and in what year; Natalia denies having any other mother but Carmen.

Labels: te-quiero