Caray, Caray!

Silvana bites Patrick's power tie and invites him over for dinner.  Patrick readily accepts the sexy invitation, but he will indeed be over later.

Over drinks, Renzi gives Patrick the abortion concoction and wishes Patrick luck.  Patrick gives Renzi a small yellow envelope that contains a brick of cash.  Renzi tells Patrick, the more drops she ingests, the quicker that she will miscarry. 

Patrick visits Silvana's home and she immediately removes his long powerful tie.  Patrick wants to have a toast, but Silvana refuses to drink alcohol.  It doesn't mix well with her medication for anemia.  She will drink lemonade.  Silvana tells him that she is ready to get freaky tonight. When Silvana goes off to check on the vittles and prepare the drinks, Patrick tells us that Silvana will soon learn that she is not smarter than he is. When she returns with lemonade for herself and champagne for him, they perform some disturbing and vile sexual gymnastics on the couch. (The scene was not shown in the USA).  She will do whatever he asks, she says.    She dismounts him and goes into her bedroom for a moment or two.  He takes the short opportunity to place several drops in her drink.  When she  returns, he tells her that it's bad luck to toast without alcohol.  She tells him that she is trying to live a healthier lifestyle.  They both take a sip.  She says that her lemonade tastes funny.  He tells her to put more sugar in it next time.  They toast to the most beautiful woman in the world.  Bottoms up!


How to Ride the Jailbait Express Train and Not Go To Jail

1.  Check of any signs of Chris Hansen, host of:   To Catch a Predator

Oliver quizzes Daniela, but she is unable to concentrate on her lessons; she has a really bad headache.  He offers her cookies because carbs will help relieve the headache.  He gets up to leave, but she begins to cry.  Everything she does is wrong.  Her young life is falling apart.  He sits back down to comfort her. 

2.  Groom the jailbait by offering her some delicious chocolate chip cookies.

When they get up to leave, Daniela becomes dizzy and sinks into the chair.  Oliver offers to get Fausto or her mother, but she stops him.  She asks him to help her to her room so that she can rest. 

3.  Always touch the half-naked jailbait.

Once she's tucked in, Daniela explains to Oliver that she is on a hunger strike.  Oliver says that he's participated in a few peaceful protests as well. 

4.  Try sitting in the on the bed while the jailbait is also in it.

After determining that she feels much better, Oliver decides that now would be the perfect time to tutor Daniela on Optics.  He closes the door, closes the curtains and turns off the lights.  He ties the darkened room to a lesson about reflected light. 

5.  Darken the room and blast some romantic music.

Suddenly, Greta enters the room and demands to know why they are sitting alone in the dark!

6.  Ensure that bedroom door is unlocked so that her mother can easily discover you!

Both explain that they were working on an Optics lesson.  In order for Daniela to grasp the concept, she needed to in bed, alone in a darkened room with an adult male. 

7.  Please have the dumbest explanation EVER available for why you are in a darkened room with a minor.

Greta readily accepts the implausible explanation.  Oliver excuses himself; he will return tomorrow.  After Oliver leaves, Greta tells Daniela that dinner should be ready soon.  Daniela asks her mother if she's hired back Miguelina. 

8.  The parent must be an idiot who will happily accept a stupid explanation.  This is a MUST!  Now consider yourself...scott free!

Meanwhile, in another part of Snob Hill, an employee is being sexually harassed.  Alexa tells Armando that she didn't leave with Alan because she stayed for him.  They are interrupted by Fausto and Nandito's game of Hide-n-Go Seek. 

Is this that just a tie around your neck or are you happy to see me?

Nandito runs outside and Fausto follows.  When Fausto returns, he witnesses Alexa stroking Armando's enormous tie.    Fausto too is very impressed and likes what he sees!

Will Fausto now develop tie envy?

Armando tells Alexa that they will talk later and leaves.  Alexa tells Fausto that she told Armando how she feels about him. 

It was enormous!

In another part of the mansion, there is another crisis brewing!  Sophia is feeling guilty for postponing the wedding. 

Arceli called me ugly and she said that I am stuck up!

Fausto finds her sobbing in her room when he brings her a cup of herbal tea.  She tells him that she can't resist Chava.  She snuck out to see Chava and mauled him on the set of his stuntman job!  Fausto tells her that Paco doesn't bring out the passion in her or make her happy.  She now has something else to think about. 

Other News: 

• When Armando returns home, Irma (dressed like a Williams sister), begs him to come home.  He tells her that the Nandito is the only reason that he allows her to stay there. 
• Lucas is now a part-time boxer.  Manajarres is his manager.  He tells Marisol, but swears her to secrecy. 
• Lucas and Oliver know each other, but we don't know why. 
• Javier Cruz sleeps outdoors in the rain.   
• Chava is still looking for a job.  Lupe tells him to forget about Sophia.  He's making a fool of himself.  Chava swears that he will continue to stalk her for as long as it takes. 
• Armando tries to bunk with Matias and Chava, but three is a big crowd.  He tells Chava that Fausto (after seeing the size of his tie) invited him to move into the servants quarters.  Chava gets excited and encourages Armando to keep a close eye on Sophia and report back to him.  He also declares to Armando that he will stalk Sophia until she dies.  Chava kisses and tells Armando that he and Sophia made out on the commercial set.  Yeah, she wants me!

Another Xlint Treat...You're Welcome Again!

• Fausto is overjoyed that Armando took him up on his offer to stay at the mansion.  While Armando settles in, Fausto runs to Alexa's room and tells her that Armando and his tie are in the house!
• Both Armando and Alexa touch their own bodies in disturbing ways while thinking of one another. 
• Armando's door opens.  Alexa tells him that she's can't get the size of his tie out of her mind.  She jumps his bones.  He throws her on the bed and morphs into a cross between octopus and a wolf.  Now if only the galan could learn this hot technique. 

• Sophia tells Daniela that she agrees with her about Greta and Miggie, yet Daniela still won't eat.  Later, Daniela faints in the hallway. 

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