Wednesday, January 21, 2015

La Gata #101 - Wed 1/21- La Limpia

101, you say?  Now, that sounds like a theme!

Wilderness Healing 101: You can cure anything with a bundle of sage and an egg.  Bongo drums are optional.

Rita shows up and gets Gisela to let her see how Pablo's doing.  She starts pulling things out of her bag.  Later she picks some weeds and leaves

Hot Chicks 101: They're always hotter before they start talking murder.

Los Barrio Boyz drink booze and talk about how Gi is so hot.  Except Garabato.  He's seen the crazy.



Tracking 101: Official-looking dudes in vests with walkie-talkies are no match for a madwoman in high heels and a scared man-boy when it comes to finding a hapless doofus in the woods.

The search for Pablo continues, but they have no luck.  Vicky is convinced that Pablo is hiding out.  Mariano shows up and says Hat Guy is right and if Pablo has disappeared it's because something happened to him.

Friendship 101: Good friends will help you hide.  Best friends will help you hide a body.

Garabato sucks up to Esme and she gives him her usual encouragement.  Meanwhile, his "crew" debate whether they should keep letting Garabato be part of the club.  They decide to ditch him, except for Hot Willy, who wants in on whatever Garabato's plan is. Since the sound fades out mid-sentence, I can't figure out if he's trying to explain his horror at being handed a gun or if he's saying he wants a gun.

Praying 101: It...doesn't...work like that.

Lorenza suffers Pablo's disappearance.  Which is a switch because the rest of us usually suffer less when
he's not around.  She resorts to praying and self-reflection.  To La Virgen, she admits she's been really crappy to Esme.  She realizes that Augie is right and what goes around comes around.  Then she starts blaming God for making her the way she is--an evil, two-faced shrew.  Way to take responsibility.  She sobs that she CAN'T love Esme and keeps hating her.  She REFUSES to let God take Pablo and says He can take her instead.

Wilderness Healing 201: It's easier when the cause of the trauma isn't hanging around asking you why you're not putting the leaves on the patient's head.

Back to the Little Spa in the Selva, where comatose Pablo is getting a mud mask and some Reiki from Rita.  Then she starts garnishing him like a salad, all under the baffled eye of Gi.  Rita is trying to heal his soul first before she worries about his head. Gi is getting impatient and wants results already and threatens Rita with death.  Rita dismisses Gi and her bad vibes and "mala entraña" and says if Pablo dies it will be her fault.  She keeps spooning some concoction into his mouth.

 Hiding Out 101: Blend into your surroundings.

Esme lurks around the dump in her hat and dirty face while Garabato runs interference and distracts Fernando.  Wow.  Garabato is really tall.  Esme overhears Fernando's pep talk/promise to find her.  Esme thought bubbles gratefully.    Garabato wants lessons from Esme in how to protect his child.  Since, you know, she's the expert.

Hiding Out 102: Cash leaves no trace.

Chácharas goes to Esme's boss and asks for payment in cash.  He's more than willing, since her beads are making him a ton of money.  The cops stop Chácharas outside the jewelry shop to interrogate him about Esme's whereabouts.  Though they seem to have followed him out there, when he gets back to the dump, he tells Esme he's sure they didn't follow him back.  Supposedly, "everybody" is helping hide her.  They have no idea where Rita is.

Being a Famous Artist 101: Make sure you and your PR person are on the same page about the image you want to project.

Mariano, Hat Guy, and Vicky get back to the house.  The firefighters won't keep looking, since Pablo isn't "lost."  Vicky swears artists do this kind of thing all the time.  Mariano goes back to the DF.

Contradicting Yourself 101: You don't have to hide from people who have abandoned you--they've already done all the work for you.  Also, you told him to go away.

Esme soliloquies about how evil hides behind pretty faces and sometimes good people have to hide to stay safe.  "Even from your father, who abandoned us."

Lawyering 101: If you can avoid getting thrown in jail for badgering the judge, you might be able to make him feel guilty for accepting a bribe.

Damian continues antagonizing the judge by saying that of course Esme left--the entire case was nothing but BS.  Fernando backs him up.

Relationships 101: If you can't be with the one you love, torment the one you're with.

Augie is enjoying laughing at Lorenza's pain.  Lo thinks they're getting the punishment they deserve.
Henching 101: Make sure you understand the terms of the agreement before taking on the job.

Juan wants his money so he can get the heck out of town, but Eugenia won't fork it over until they get their hands on the kids.  There's a warrant out for Esme's arrest.  Eugenia says if this isn't wrapped up quickly, they're going to get busted for bribing the judge.  (Side note for Doctor Who fans…It just occurred to me that Eugenia's face looks like a Slitheen!)

Child Development 101: One year olds are not this size.

Esme keeps entertaining the babies with her stream of talk about how they're going to get out of this and knocking her up is the only good thing Pablo did.  Well, more or less.

Wilderness Healing 301:  Even bullets and brain trauma are no match for the right combination of yerbas.

Rita removes Pablo's face mask.  This is his cue to roll his eyes around in his head as obnoxiously as possible.

Tomorrow: Hotter than ever?!  Whatever, promo monkeys!  Juan Garza's lawyer finally gets a clue.

Previous: Episode 100
Next: Episode 101

Labels:


Comments:
Well, well, well, I guess Rita showed all the haters that her skills are legit.
 

I kept trying to decide if Pablo's mask was made from chili or chocolate. Or maybe it was just mud.

Lo's howling was grating but not quite convincing.

Everyone's helping Esme hide out at the dump? What about those people who lied about her at the custody hearing?
 

Diva I learned so much from your recap! Like, in the hands of a pro recapper, this drivel is fun! Thanks!

My takeaway:

Stupid El Sil. He and Blanca suspect Esme has run away to the Basurero. Blanca (who lived there for years and knows everyone) says "let me go look for her". No, says El Sil, I have to do it. Does he think all those Dumpster folks will open up to him, a stranger in a sport jacket?

Garabato is one cute dude. Through the whole episode he was wearing a sparkling clean dress shirt! My eyes were torn in two directions when he and Hot Scar were standing next to each other.

Lorenza: she tried for redemption but at the last minute she bailed and started yelling at the Virgencita and then she turned around and yelled at Jesus. I would think they frown on that.

Well Garabato may have a clean face, but Esme is back in the dump for two hours and she has the grime layer back on. Was she out there picking garbage?

J in Oregon

 

Such a great recap! My tablet is telling me to charge the battery so I'll be back later with more. Loved the theme and headings.
 

I'm annoyed be the reappearance of the grime.

La Paloma - I also was annoyed be Lo's anguished cries.
 

5ft, this is very clever and loved every word.

"If you can't be with the one you love, torment the one you're with."

Gisela - I ate sushi off a naked man in London once

Esmeralda - ragamuffin

Garabato - Mr. Mom

Lorenza - blessing or a curse

Fernando - I'll leave no empty can unturned

Rita - raise the dead and make millions

Pablo - that tickles

Damien - trash talkin

 

I love your lists so much, tofie! My favorite quips today are the ones for Fer and Pablo.

(are you gonna watch the new one? I may have withdrawals is you decide not to. I'll have to lurk on other threads.)
 

Thanks, 5ft. Your format was wonderful, and your witty snark was over the top great.

Did Gisela's shot miss Pablo? I thought they said the wound was to the head, but only showed where the rock hit him.

During my Army first aid training, I don't remember "cleansing the soul" as being anywhere on the list of things to do for a wounded buddy. We were taught to 1) Clear the airway, 2) Stop the bleeding, 3) Protect the wound, and 4) Treat for shock. "Stop the bleeding" and "Protect the wound" were considered to be two parts of the same procedure, since both were accomplished using the "Dressing, First Aid, Field" which was carried in a small canvas pouch on the pistol belt.

Luckily, Pablo was wounded in the head which, in his case, isn't a life threatening wound.

I don't know what witch craft purpose the mud mask served, but I thought that if Pablo didn't make it, then when they laid him out, at least he'd have clean pores.

David
 

Frickin' brilliant Diva! Frickin' brilliant this 101 theme! WOW! Thank you, dear Diva. I didn't watch this so I am grateful for your taking the hit. This statement of Esme's stands out:

"Even from your father, who abandoned us."

Idiota! This girl is incompetent and dishonest in so many ways! I'd like to take the babies, put her and Pablo into some kind of Wiley Coyote catapulting slingshot contraption and shoot their asses toward the general direction of Siberia!

And what is G going to do? Be at the wedding hiding inside the cake to lunge out and finish the job on them both? It would make as much sense as everything else that's happened.

Thanks, Diva!
 

Diva I am constantly in awe of your snarky sense of humor.

I really needed this recap to make me laugh and to clear up the barrio boys conversation. I never understand a fricken word of their chatter.
 

Sara. Probably since it's a good time slot for me. I like Susan G. Unless it's a show like Que Te Perdone Dios, just ain't my bag.

I've had the fortune (frequently misfortune) to witness ceremonies of indigenous peoples all over, including the work of brujas. The constant for all is most make it up as they go (way over simplification) and use plants and animals as available, and mix up every kinda, paste, salve, brew, concoction imaginable. Seen ash, dung (plenty of chicken shit), seeds, dirt, leaves, etc, go into a mortar or pot or on flame. Seen it blown, drawn, rubbed, spit, slung, doused and dunked. What I didn't see Rita use, and frequently did, was a cheap cigar.

 

Hi everybody! I am spending the day in the kitchen today, so I won't be able to hang out on the patio much. Maybe I'll get to stop by later for a beverage after my work day ;) In the meantime, enjoy each others' company and thank you for reading the recap and commenting!
 

We'll miss you, Diva!! I hope you have a succesful day in the kitchen!

tofie- I am enthralled by you description of the bruja work. One of last night's tweets was something along the lines of "what's on his face? Sh!t? or mud?" soooo, it could very well have been sh!t. Rita's teeth seem to indicate she has a smoking habit. I wish she had brought a cigar with her.

On second thought, things may have gotten unruly and crude on the patio...
 

David-Your comments were hysterical!
 

Thanks for the recap! I couldn't resist watching this episode to see what Lo would say to Dios to get help for Pablo. Too funny.

I would just like to say that the people living in the dump do a great job with dental hygiene as they all have pearly whites.
 

Great recap! Thanks so much! Loved the headings.

Lo's vist to church lasted sooooo long.

I think Garabato was asking for a gun.

Why is that one dude jealous of Garabato not spending time with them? Is he 12 years old?

"Cleansing the soul first then the head" made me laugh. Really Rita???

Icky's "We artist do these kinds of things" made me laugh too.
 

Thank you 5 Foot for your great recap.

Praying...it doesn't work like that. Hah!

David, " Luckily Pablo was wounded in the head...which in his case isn't a life threatening wound." Hah!

Tofie,you always make me laugh. That scene with Gisela was about as sickening as sushi served on a naked body.

La Paloma, we are also wondering why Gata would return to the barrio after being betrayed by her barrio peeps in court. If the biggest gossip in the basuera lied about her in court, why does she think it is safe in the basuera?

One of the weirdest things with this TN is the sense of time and space. The babies stay small forever. Pablo and Gisella ( wtill wearing her red jacket and heels) are in the the countryside, which is where? When Pablo first went out there, it seemed to be at least a day's journey. Garabato seemed to get back from the crime scene in about a half hour bus ride. Rita seemed to have gotten out there in a half hour. Meanwhile trials take place, jewelry is made and sold, appeals get underway. Mariano travels back and forth, searches occur. It is only a day later? Is it a week later? Meanwhile, we all seem to have completely given up on the plot line.

Mr. LN says his only interest right now is in Attorney Gutierez. The actor is doing a good job conveying his gradual realization that his client is weasel. Also, I thought Juan Garza's main deal was his revenge against the Martinez Negretes. Now, all he cares about is getting his money and getting out of town? aaaaaagh

And yet, I'm still watching.




 

Mauricio-Thanks for clearing up Garabato's line. I don't like that he wants a gun.

LN-Juan Garza *is* Rita's son. I'm not surprised at all the the money is more impportant to him. :-)
 

Gah, that's what drives me crazy! It's not like Pablo said "Peace out b*tch" she sent him away because she believed the lies Lorenza told her. Que idiota!
 

@ Mauricio, are you on Twitter?
 

Whew, what a day! I'm just getting caught up on reading everyone's comments and I must say, you people are funny. And intelligent. I don't know why we're all still watching this stupid show, but I'm glad we have the patio support group!

La Paloma - I guess they mean "everyone except for Dona Chismosa and Meatball" which is still a sucky plan.

J - I hear you! I swear she put the dirt on her face as camo. Maybe it's not dirt. Maybe it's MAC eyeshadow or something.

Sara - It doesn't help that I think they're using slang on top of their poor diction, mumbling, and bad sound quality. And also that I don't really care what they're talking about because they're going to end up doing whatever dumbass thing they were planning five minutes later.

tofie - but, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar....

David - I can't for the life of me figure out if he got shot at all. Mr. 5ft swears the shot missed and Pablo just fell because he's Pablo. Note, he says this after insisting he no longer wants to watch. Anyway, you are correct--it's not a life threatening wound!

Lila - If Gi ends up inside the wedding cake...well, that would suck for them, but I'd be laughing my ass off!

Carvivlie - it's Lorenza's world...God's just living in it, apparently.

Mauricio - If Vicky had at least found him and stashed him somewhere, I could forgive her for making that ridiculous excuse to get them to stop looking.

LN - Gi's feet have GOT to be killing her in those shoes! She's been standing around for days! Maybe Rita's magic smoke stopped time as well? I don't know how they got Luis Gatica (lawyer Gutierrez) to be on this show, but I LOVE watching him in the background being so intensely involved in everything. Total pro!

Eli - that's what I shout at the screen every time she complains.
 

Diva---I just loved your classroom
101 school theme. It seems like most involved here need to go back to school because it is obvious that when they were there, they didn't learn much.

Example---you go out in the woods to shoot someone wearing high heels and a bright red jacket.

This is just one example. If I wrote all that come to mind, I would have to write a book.

Going back to school---Lowrenza needs to go back to church if she ever went to one before? Well if she did, I'm sure that she wasn't taught to yell at Jesus and the Virgencita when asking for something.

Lowrenza blames God because he made her an evil two faced shrew.
That should earn her some points upstairs. NOT.

Spot on J---The dumpster folks will open up to a stranger in a nice jacket.

Yes again J---With all of the clothes that Esme had on, her face did get dirty fast didn't it

Tofie your list was a grand slam home run today.

David---Gisela's shot grazed the side of Pablo's head and the rock that he hit his head on got out of there fast. It wasn't about to be used as evidence I guess.

Will the judge come clean tonight?
the gringo


 

Diva, as always a great, imaginative recap. Thank you.

Esme looks as if she is heading for the Arctic, ear flaps, gloves, overcoat. Everyone else is running around in tank tops and sport coats. QTH?

I wonder how the cast can look so worried with out laughing when they have to act out this crap.

Every night when I turn this stupidity off, I swear I will never watch again, then I am always back or watching the recording later.


 

I started watching about halfway through last night and couldn't figure out why Esme seemed to be wearing a Chairman Mao costume.
 

If Esmeralda really wanted to go incognito, cut and slick back them locks, don a wifebeater t-shirt, some shades and stroll around like Andrew Dice Clay.
 

tofie, the Andrew Dice Clay reference takes me back :D

Pepe, I guess that's what passes for dumpster chic these days. Almost makes me miss the skimpy dresses. Aaaaalmost!

emeraldrose, it's like a bad wreck...you just can't look away. We feel your pain!

gringo, I hope they don't save the lawyer's confrontation for the last 10 minutes. I want to see Luis Gatica go to town on the Ferret!
 

Totally agree that some of my comprehension issues stem from not caring too much about what any character has to say.
 

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