Caray, Caray!

(There aren't enough things in this world with Marinara Sauce on or in them. MaPat's sex-based jokes are enough of that for me when I've had Coca-Cola and want to touch Jorge Gallegos' prominent breasts. The word-of-the-day is Doohickey.)

-That's Angelli Nesma Comedy for You-

Hel tells Domingo to turn his frown upside-down and Diego mentions he is going to teach him to lasso. Eve then tells Dom how lucky he is and Hel pulls her aside for a girl-talk. Hel asks Eve how she sees him and thinking she is talking about Diego, Eve responds with that she'd like for him to be the father of her children. Hel then clarifies who she was referring to and Eve quickly says that Dom looks like he needs love and lots of it. The women watch as Diego and Dom bro-chat.

-A Broken Simona (and Not to Mention Window)-

Simmie is with the DILF telling him that although Mia's death wasn't her fault, she feels she is to blame. She was afraid to lose her son, "mi Tono, DILF." She admits that after Mia began to blackmail her, she wished for her to die; God forgive her. DILF then says Simmie didn't kill her, the delinquent did and that it isn't her fault. She says she couldn't do anything because she was running and running only to find her lying on the floor a bloody mess and that the delinquent had ran off alre-BOOM! (That smash scared the hell out of me. It was so out of left field.) Simmie stumles into DILF's arms in startling shock (who could blame her?)

-Catherine Zeta-Jones, Miranda, Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Barney Rubble-

Mateo is trying to reason with Foul-Stank which we all here in Viewerville know is futile. Mat tells him he should know Constance isn't well (sugar-coat) and Fausto who has had enough BS straight up says Connie is crazy (talk about burning your tongue on hot soup or tea) and he feels himself losing his mind in this damn ranch (admittedly bagging on himself like that? He really is losing his mind.) Mat is still in the ring unscathed telling Fausto not to lock up Connie because it'll hurt Renata. Our fave rat bastard says that locking Connie up is for everyone's well-being (this is so reminding me of Corazon Salvaje) and that Renata will be obligated to accept it (all that's missing was a damnit.) FoulRat worries about another Connie scare and tells Mat to consider it (the one who doesn't like chocolate is trying to sell someone See's.)

-I WANT YOUR HAT ON THAT DESK WITH A LETTER OF RESIGNATION!-

About 9-11 angry men are bitching at Simmie to give up her position and DILF tells the men that this isn't how you get things done. He sends them on their way after a reasonably worded tell-off and they don't ass-hat him. Marxellino is up to no good as usual and mentions the deed to Simmie's house.

-Not a Chip on My Shoulder, a Jewel-Ian-

Princess Die strolls in with Julian wrapped around her arm and is ready to talk with Ren (whom asks who brought her to them) and Abi. Ian digs into FoulRat (or Mat) by saying that he didn't have the decency to pick Die from the hospital so Ian himself did. Die asks where Mat is and digs into Abi by saying she hopes Mat isn't sleeping in her bed when Ren stands up for her. She isn't going to take anything sitting down; considering Die and Mat are soon to divorce, Die isn't and won't be welcome inside the house anymore. Ren asks when Die is leaving and Die says real soon, the next chance she gets. She says she never liked the campo and gives a "high-class" insult Abi just smirks off. I react to all by focusing on Julian and say, "well ain't he a doll?"

-My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic-

Dom is up on a high horse under Diego and Benny's supervision. He reminds Benny of when Diego was a tot and hopes Tommy DILF comes back with good news. Diego has a sad at the possibility of Dom not being able to live with him. Benny just says to wait for what the authorities have to say and that Diego has a corazon bien grande. Now Diego has a glad and noble; he wonders what life would have been like if he hadn't had Benny or Vicenta. Benny has a, 'speaking of Vicenta, what does she have to say about all this?' and Diego says he still hasn't talked with her about it. Ben hooes like an owl and tells Dom to hold on tight.

-And I'l Spell My Name, D-A-R-Y-A, and be Crowned Miss America-

Mat is irritated with Di, I can see that and asks her why she didn't wait for him. Ian says something with Cunado as one of the first words in the sentence which causes Mat to cut him off, tell him to log out and lastly not call him that since Diana and Mat are divorcing. Die is a force to be reckoned with; she says she has not signed any divorce sheets yet and with that is still the wife of Mateo Lopez-Guerra so with the final weeks they have together, she will demand, command and obligate him to respect her, understood? That also means that Abi isn't allowed in eyeshot. She's hit a nerve as she digs into Abi some and Ren this time gets up as you know, she won't take Die's BS sitting down; Ren is a force to be reckoned with too. Don't make Renata herself repeat in front of Mateo what has been suspected of Diana (herself) for quite sometime. Die (who doesn't seem to realize that the suspicion hasn't been  verbally brought to light in front of Mat ATM) claims the suspicion is ludicrous and not the case. She accuses Abigail of having taken the love of her life whom is or was her husband (this DieBitch doesn't know the meaning of the word, LOVE.) DieBitch has the audacity to accuse Abi of being Mateo's partner in fornication and Abi defends herself; she isn't fornicating because her and Mat actually love each other. They're waiting for the day he is liberated of DieBitch. DieBitch calls Abi a hypocrite and Abi is calmly on one now; don't call her a hypocrite because Abi can still say what she has to and hasn't yet. There's a picture of Diana under the word HYPOCRITE in the dictionary. Ren who I can see has had enough of this notifies Mat that Diana is no longer welcome rather calmly and he is in agreement. DieBiotch hit a Ren nerve by poking at her blind problem and Abi is about to pop off on her when Mat shuts this down. Ian-doll (whom I sure as hell forgot was in the room) calmly interrupts as well to dismiss himself and ask Die if he should wait for her. She just dismisses him and says she wants to be alone. DieBiotch has strutted her detergent-auburn self off and Ren thanks Mat. She must talk profoundly with him later. Mat dismisses himself and says he'll catch them later.

-She Poppin, She Rollin', She Rollin', She Climbin' that Pole and I'm in Love with a Stripper!-

Hel (whom I will now address as Helle the Belle or just Helle) is praying to God for forgivethness, crying, having a sad, usual primera actriz biddie-ness. She is lamenting in the fact her son wants to know the secret she had been hiding throughout the years and intensifies her prayer to God while shaking violently; she begs for there to be peace and harmony between Mateo and FoulRat always (so with this prayer, we have confirmation there shall be worse coming our way and an epic Light-Saber battle between DarthFoulRat and MateoSkywalker. As Fausto possibly falls into a volcano like I hope but don't because of my own personal phobia, he should scream, MATEO, I AM YOUR FATHER!) Helle just confirmed Mateo and FoulRat are father and son.

I Love to Watch You Leave Dear!