Caray, Caray!

At the funeral home, Amanda explains to Diego that nobody told him the truth because it wasn’t their secret to tell, it was Vicenta’s. And Vicenta didn’t tell because she didn’t want Diego to think his mom was a ho with the patrón, and to stain Diego’s memory of her. Having everybody believe that Diego was entering into an incestuous marriage with Abigail was Vicenta’s way of “honoring” her daughter’s memory, I suppose.

New: Vicenta is put into the ground with strange African drums and wails as background music. The music was intense, but out of place in little Real de San Andrés. I have no idea why, in this class- conscious nook of the world, members of ‘high’ society have turned out for the funeral of this servant. Even Eduviges, who has been so cruel to Motor, is there to pay her respects to the Hacienda’s chief vegetable peeler. Everyone attending the hija de la criada’s wedding was a stretch (because the groom was a dyed in the wool peon), but at least there was the Renata connection. Not so here. Anyway, Max steps up to Diego for some recognition for having saved his life, and gets a nod. Pan over the black-clad crowd to Abi. If the ceremony had been carried out, would she and Diego still have celebrated their wedding night what with Vicenta being assassinated and all?

 Macaria busts into Lucio’s house, all smiles and congrats to him for killing Vicenta. Mac gets that it was supposed to be Diego, but Vicenta irritated her so much that she just has to thank Lucio for doing away with her. Remind me not to annoy Mac. Mac even thinks it’s comical that the hit went off course. How heartless/tasteless/hopeless can a person be? Lucio denies everything, but doesn’t he get that he’s talking to Mac? You can’t con a con.

Motor, the Padre and Simona are walking after the funeral, when they see Toño the Alcoholic going into The Cantina. Simona starts a whine routine, Motor volunteers to go in after him, but Padre says he will do it. Inside, Toño asks for a whole bottle of something, probably tequila but maybe whiskey. If I wanted to drink that much, I would buy a bottle at the liquor store for a quarter of the price, but I’m thrifty, what can I say? Toño tells the Padre that the way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk all the time. What a pearl of wisdom from our idiot child. Padre is having none of it and pulls Toño out of the bar by his ear.

Lucio is laying into Max for being so talkative with Comandante Barragan. Max says it was all to deflect from Lucio and that it worked. He gave a bogus description. Lucio says, “But you disobeyed me. I could have shot you instead!” Max asks what difference does it make, since he’s dying anyway. He asks Lucio to leave Diego alone, and Luc says that is up to God, that is, Fausto, to decide. Besides, Lucio needs the money. He has had his eye on a new carpet for the entryway. Plus, why shouldn’t Diego die? Why should he have the girl, the family, the health that rightfully correspond to Max? Remind me not to have things that Lucio wants for his son.

Padre has marched Toño all the way home by the ear, and confronts Julian with his errant son. Julian accepts responsibility and is respectful to the Padre, but as soon as the door shuts behind the Padre, Julian is all “SLAP!” to Toño, and grabs him by the hair. He makes it clear that he will not tolerate Toño’s behavior causing him problems and inconvenience. Toño is confused by dear old dad’s tone, and scared, too. So he thinks it wise to bait Julian with threats and questions about his jail time. Did it occur to him that maybe the charge was murder?!! Toño might just have a tiger by the tail here, have bitten off more than he can chew, let his bocón write a check that his idiotic personality can’t cash.

Meliton stops by Lucio’s place to introduce himself and meet the Saviour of Diego (Max).

Lucio is meeting with Fausto in the study, and Fausto, like Macaria, is not displeased with the botched hit. Bottom line, Abi is not married to Diego, and somebody got killed, so he gladly pays up and even throws in extra for Lucio’s medical bills with Max. “I’ll leave you to put away your money.” Lucio begins body-packing the stacks of money like a shoplifter stealing Twinkies from a 7-Eleven. Not for the first time in this novela, Mac walks into the study when all the money is in view. She wants half of it to keep quiet about Vicenta’s murder. Lucio continues to uselessly deny it, says it’s a loan for Max’s medical expenses, but nonetheless will pay half for her help in getting Abi for Max. He says that he wants Max to have the woman he loves before he dies, which is the first time he’s admitted that this isn’t going to end well for Max.

Diego has made his way to Renata’s room. He’s not wasting any time acting like he owns the place! Ren asks him, “Why are you avoiding me, bro?” She is truly sorry for the loss of his grandmother. Good help is so hard to find, and it will be hard on the family to be short-staffed in the kitchen until they find a replacement. But Ren is still mad at him for what he did to Abi at the altar. Why, when she was always in favor of the marriage? Diego reveals that he knows Abi is her daughter. Ren makes a half-hearted denial, but fine, okay, why do you care? Fausto shows up at the door that Diego was careful to leave open just in time to overhear Diego say, “We are siblings! I, too, am Don Bruno’s child!” Now Renata is not making half-hearted denials. She is all in when she says that’s impossible, he’s wrong. Fausto chimes in, saying it’s all a scam, he’s trying to get your money, to blackmail you. The fact that Fausto so quickly leaps to this conclusion is pretty revealing of his own nature, and others should take notice, but the detail is lost in the heat of the moment. Diego says that isn’t true, and Ren believes him. He’s giving Fausto an intense death glare, and then gets right up in Fausto’s face and does a scary, godfather-type kiss of his fingers. He says that if Fausto has anything to do with this, he’ll kill him. He is not afraid of Fausto. Fausto says, “You are going to pay for this,” and Diego says, “I’ll be waiting.” What a forceful ending to this scene!

Back at Lucio’s, Max is telling Meliton that Lucio is a good man. This is as convincing to Meli as Lucio’s denials about the murder were to Mac. Meliton talks about how Lucio was as a kid, a typical nice ranch kid, doing typical nice ranch things, like liking horses, but then he changed, he lost his innocence. Max is enthralled with this information about his dad’s life, and Meli offers, “When you want to know about Lucio and your mom, I’ll tell you because I know that story quite well.”

Fausto keeps trying to convince Renata that this whole Diego thing is a scam that he is running to get his hands on Renata’s fortune, but Ren isn’t biting. Meliton is the source of the info, and she trusts him. Fausto isn’t pleased with Meliton. He’s besmirching Bruno’s reputation. Renata still doesn’t bite. She’s well aware of the bajezas (low things, dirty deeds) that her father has committed and isn’t too worried about conserving the saintly memory of him.

Abigail is sitting and crying at the fountain in the Hacienda’s courtyard, and up strolls Mateo. Whenever Abi is there and he appears, I just GROAN. I cannot stand the way he always follows her around and spews his same plaguísima plaga all the time. Ugh! When all the tension was going on in the church about if Diego would be shot or not, I was fervently offering up Mat as an option. Abi thinks he is happy that she didn’t marry Diego, and he is, but he didn’t want her to be hurt like she was. Abi is not happy, Diego was her ONLY chance of getting over Mateo. Why? Why is this true? The world is full of men, men who don’t know Mateo, don’t live near him, probably aren’t his brother and didn’t grow up with him. It seems like any of these would be a better option than Diego for getting over Mat. Diego spies them together from a corner. Welcome to your new house, dude.

Fausto will not let his scam theory drop. He and Renata have worked their way to the living room, where it’s more convenient for Connie to come in and clarify that it is true, Bruno IS the father. Fausto demands to know why, if it’s true, did she just now mention it? Because Meliton has been helping me remember things I used to avoid. Ruh-roh! Fausto immediately identifies Meliton as the cause of this problem. He goes into full Fausto mode, spinning BS as fast as he can think of it. He goes so far as declaring “Meliton and Diego are working together, obviously.” But Ex-Crazy Con won’t have it, and just as Abi and Mat mosey into the living room, she categorically declares, “Diego es hijo de mi difunto marido!” Caras de impactado from Mat and Abi.

Cut to Diego at the cenote/lago/rio/body of water. And I’ll tell you right now the Padre is not there swimming in his calzones. I kept an eye out the whole scene. Instead, Diego is luchando with the love that is still in his heart, but now knows to be perverse. He is very frank with God, letting Him know that he loves Abi, not as a niece, but as a woman. He feels ill. But he is a pretty crier. Poor Diego. Remind me not to fall in love with a blood relation.

At the Hacienda, Mat moves in for a diagnosis of Ex-Con, but she is adamant that she is not having any symptoms. She’s just telling the truth. Ren holds Abi and says she’s sorry. Abi is thinking that it’s weird that Diego is her madrina’s half-brother, but doesn’t see why that stopped the wedding. Oh yeah, Abi is one of the very few people in Abi's life that doesn’t know she is Ren’s daughter, so she can’t make the uncle/niece connection. The moment is glossed over without an answer, of course. Instead, Ren declares to Fausto that if it all turns out to be true, she will make amends to Diego for what he has been deprived. Fausto groans at this news as if Mat were emoting to Abi. And Ren has unwittingly re-signed Diego’s death warrant.

Padre is taking care of baby Domingo for a few days while Diego works the lust for his niece out of his system. Domingo is full of awkward questions, and the best one is, “If you knew what Meliton said wasn’t true, why the hell didn’t you say anything?” Amen!

Max and Lucio are at home, and Max talks about what Meliton told him about Lucio. “Was the change in you due to your first kill?” Lucio does not want to talk details. Max thinks Meliton sincerely wants to help, but Lucio isn’t interested. In the middle of their talk, Fausto barges in and tells Lucio to jump. “How high?!” They leave.

Diego continues to struggle with his heart, complete with a montage of inappropriate moments he has shared with his niece, including riding behind her on a horse, holding hands, kissing, and getting married. Ew!! We know he’s not really her uncle, but he doesn’t.

The final scene, in Meliton’s jacal. Boring Benito worries about Diego, but Meliton says let him be. Enter Dark Lords Lucio and Fausto, very intimidating, and they want to know where the infeliz of Diego is. Meli and Ben genuinely do not know. Fausto turns on them, saying they bite the hand that feeds them, and that Meliton has taken advantage of an easy mark, a crazy woman, and filled her head with nonsense. (note: if Fausto is Diego’s dad, then he really would be wondering how the heck everybody got to believing that Bruno is. end note) The fiesta is over. Benito and Diego no longer work at the Enramada, effectively immediately, and Meliton is to pack his bags and get out. Fausto storms out, and Lucio stays behind as enforcer, looking scruffily on the poor sots that are Meli and Ben.

Scary avances, including Diego strung up by his arms (and shirtless) by Fausto.