Caray, Caray!

I've been trapped in a massage cabin at the Suspension of Reality Spa and Resort.  What?  No, don't send help!  Just send room service.

Alas, the massage cabins have neither cable nor Internet, so I do not have a recap prepared for you.

When last I saw sneaky two shoes, she was hopping on the back of an ATV with a mysterious stranger.  As they drove away she called back to me "I don't know if I'll be back in time to recaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...." So we're just going to have to play it by ear.

In the meantime, grab a frozen drink with a little umbrella in it (assuming Benito hasn't drunk them all) and discuss away!


HOLAAAAAAAAAAA!  It's me, Simona!  You know me from Rancho Los Angeles?  I heard that la Diva and la Sneaky might not be able to do the recap for you, so I thought I would help.  Oh, yeah, I was at the Rancho all night, but you remember how la Gianna helped me get on the Twitter?  They have EVERYTHING on the Twitter!  I just put my phone in my apron and every time there's a twit it makes a little chirpy sound and I sneak back to the kitchen and find out what happened.  Ji ji!  Shh, don't tell Doña Eloisa!  

Also, sometimes people just call me and tell me the chisme.  Like la Maricarmen who works for Señor Pedro told me that Señor Osvaldo was in Señor Pedro's office arguing with Señor Fabio because Señor Fabio thinks Señor Osvaldo is not running the company right.  Achis!

I don't even need the Twitter all the time, because sometimes things happen at the house and everybody thinks nobody is paying attention, but well, what can I say?  Sometimes they talk loud and I hear things!  I can't help it!  That's how I know that Señora Julieta is muy celosa because Señor Sergio is friends with Señora Belinda, la mama de Señora Sonia.  And then, it was right there, in my kitchen, where Fidel asked Joaquina to come with him to drive Señorita Roxana to her party and have dinner!  Uyyyyy!

I also heard something when I was taking towels for Señor Osvaldo and Señora Sonia's bathroom, that they don't really like each other.  Oh!  No, that's not the chisme! I think everybody knows that!  But Señora Sonia said she would never have a baby with Señor Osvaldo and so Señora Eloisa would never like them better than Señor Pedro and so they would have to make Señor Pedro look bad.  Pos, no, I don't think they can do that, but…I decided I would leave the towels later.

Ese Benito, he twits all day.  That's how I know that Don Vito and la Fiorella and Señor Pedro and la Aitana esa were all at the same espa!  And Señor Pedro and la Fiorella were not with Don Vito and la Aitana, and DonVito and la Aitana didn't know that they were all at the same espa until they all saw each other on the patio next to the pool, and then Benito said that he knew they were all there, and then EVERYBODY got mad and Benito even told Señor Dante over the phone that everyone could hear them arguing!  What?  Ese Dante always puts his phone too loud and he was right there in the saloncita when I was, eh...re-arranging the pillows in the sala.  And Señorita Federica was laughing so loud that she's going to get rid of esa two-faced Aitana.

And then Señorita Roxana sent a twit that "Gata Italiana at the same party? No puede ser!" and then that nice friend of Señor Gael's "FutureDoctorAnel" said "Medical crisis averted.  Congrats Rox on CPR skills." and then Señorita Roxana said "Just saved a life?"  and I had to call Señor Gael!  He told me that Gianna was at the hospital in the Intensive Care and Doctor Elizalde is taking care of her.  What a relief!  Doctor Elizalde is bien serio, always twitting about "latest medical advances" but that other one?  Izquierdo?  You know what he twits about?  Playing golf and driving his fancy cars.  Hmph!

And the last thing I can tell you, I heard from "SRSpaChisme" who I don't know personally, but Benito started following them right after he got to the espa…"Muchacha Italiana worried about sister.  Large reptile says chill."  Ohhhhh, that's right!  Gael didn't want to call and worry her, la pobre!  But what's this?  "Muchacha Italiana y Papi Chulo Mexicano get international in hot tub."  Achis!

Pues, that's everything I know, so I hope that helps! 

Oh, look!  I just got a message from "SRSpaChisme"...someone left an envelope at the front desk that said "Please post to Caray, Caray! From: sneaky two shoes" so she's going to read it to me when she goes on break.  Que emocion!  Oh, but I have to type it on my phone, so it might take me a while..... Okay, here's the recap from la Sneaky!




(There are a lot of parallel convos in this epi, because I have little patience with pointless estupidez, usually I’ll just say ‘Fi and Vitto argue about “x” and so do Pietro and Aitana,’ unless I think somebody said something useful or interesting. Hopefully nobody will miss hearing about the contents of the various arguments)

Straight to the new

Fi and Pietro shop at a little stall, Fi likes a little guitar, the stall tender lady asks if its for their son and Pietro speaks over Fi saying they don’t have a son to say, well we’re working on that now (really dude?)

The shop tender is all on board with them gettin’ busy makin’ babies as long as they buy stuff, Fi is just tickled pink that 2 people have mistaken them for a married couple till she starts gettin psychic chest pains and wants to go back to the hotel.

Fabio and Os argue about who gets to make decisions now, Pietro or Oz. Os won’t listen to anything Fabio has to say and kicks him out of his office, but not before Fabio warns him about the losing the company because of his terrible decisions.

Sergio and Julietta convo about Sonia’ s mom. Sergio feels bad for her and thinks of her as a friend. Julietta says she isn’t cool with Sergio being friends w/that flirt so Sergio brings up the Italian stallion because he’s damaged and insecure too.

Joaquina has almost got Fidel well and its just in time because somebody has to drive her nina to her party so she won’t have to take a taxi. Fidel and Simona get Quina to go with so Fidel can take her to dinner while Roxi parties. Roxi comes in and is rude to everyone, nuff said.

Aitana screeches at Pietro about leaving her alone all day. Pietro pretends he was alone and makes lame excuses. Same scene with Vitto and Fi. Vitto is less screechy but somehow still just as annoying. (and instead of paying attention to what they are saying I break in to song “hold on loosely, but don’t let go, if you cling too tightly, yo gonna loooooseee controooll”) Fi is worried about being apart from Gi and wants to go home, Vitto ignores her and makes her do what he wants as per usual. Aitana changes into a swimsuit w/too many cut outs IMO to go swimming w/Pietro.

Meanwhile, back at the antro, Gael asks Gia if she’s sure about partying tonight – of course she’s sure and sends Gael off to get her a juice. When he’s gone she looks less sure about clubbing, the flashing lights start getting to her, and she gets dizzy and to make things worse Rox comes over to be a pain and taunt her till she passes out.

Quina and Fidel have a nice dinner, and chat, except Quina can’t stop worrying about Roxi

On the patio Vitto is sipping champagne and Fi gets more psychic chest pains and tells Vitto she’s worried. Vitto is all ‘hey baby what you need is some champagne to help you relax’ and Fi is all ‘no I don’t wanna relax, k thanx’

Vitto thinks they’re in paradise but for some reason won’t tell Fi who suggested the place when she asks.

Pietro and Aitana come over and Vitto makes an exasperated sound and so do I when he invites them to have a drink w/him so they all sit together and make awkward conversation (I’m gonna RPC the whole thing because nobody wants to be there. I don’t wanna be there, you don’t wanna be there, Vitto doesn’t wanna be there, Pietro and Fi sure as hell don’t wanna be there, even Aitana doesn’t want to be there making empty conversation, so lets just skip it)

The whole thing is blessedly interrupted by Benni swimming over and drunkenly spilling about Fi and Pietro being together earlier. The drinks and convo are over and they can go their separate ways and make awkward explanations separately.

At the club Roxi screams at an unconscious Gia that she’ll kill her if she’s faking and then starts CPR w/o checking her pulse or anything. Blonde girl calls an ambulance. (ok rant here, skip if you want. This really bugs me, you should never do chest compressions on anybody who’s heart hasn’t stopped completely, while I totally believe Gia’s heart may have stopped, nobody said ‘OMG HER HEART’S STOPPED’ Roxi just said she didn’t know what was wrong with her and listened to her chest for a second, and then later somebody said she had just passed out. I’m not even going to complain about the quality of Roxi’s CPR giving because that’s par for the TV show course, but making people think you just start chest compressions on somebody because they’ve passed out is dangerous. Chest compressions can be dangerous, you’re actually detaching the sternum from the ribs and smooshing it against the heart, if somebody who doesn’t know what they’re doing does it, broken ribs and punctured lungs, can result. Thinking about every Tom, Beni, and Roxi doing this to poor little Gia just hurts. Also do these kids even know how to do CPR? Beni mistook rescue breathing for kissing. Just ungh! Ok rant over, back to the story)

By the time Gia is semi-conscious, Gael is back and picks her up and carries her off. Blonde girl tells Roxi she saved her life.

Sonia is on the phone w/her mom, she warns her to stay away from her, Sergio, and the rancho, and everybody, because she’s just a box of trouble. Mom says ‘hey Sergio came looking for me, and btw I needs mo money, you shouldn’t have given it to me all at once’ Sonia says she’ll see what she can do and hangs up. No sooner does she turn on the TV than Os comes in and changes the channel so they fight over the TV and everything else. The fight gets physical and then Sonia says ‘this isn’t working, we’ll end up killing each other at this rate, lets make a tregua = truce. I won’t tell about your infidelities, you don’t tell about mine, its pretty clear we’re not gonna make a baby together, so we loose points w/Eloisa there, but we both want the inheritance, so lets work together to bring Pietro down and get all the do re mi.

Back at Resort Hell Vitto hassles Fi about Pietro being there and her knowing about it – its all a plot, somehow. Aitana has conspiracy theories of her own. Beni is jogging back and forth in the hall listening through the doors at the fights he caused. The novio’s are placated just in time for Beni to hit on some bathing beauty and get a call from Dante wanting to know the sitch. Beni gives him the 411 on the fights with Fed listening in the background demanding details. Dante says to keep him informed and hangs up. Fed squeals with delight, sure she’s finally gotten rid of that two faced Aitana.

At the hospital Gael explains to the old doc about the new doc and the meds change. Doc asks Gi about any strange symptoms she’s been having, she says she’s been sweating a lot. Roxi calls Gael for an update on Gi. When she hangs up she’s in tears and tells Quina she finally did one good thing in her life, she saved someone’s life. Quina tells her that when you save someone you are responsible for them. Rox doesn’t want to hear that and quickly goes back to being her old self and flounces off.

Back at the hospital, Gia isn’t doing so well and Gael gets shut out of the ICU so he calls tio Sergio for advice.

Pietro sneaks out.

Fi wakes up with those psychic chest pains again and wakes Vitto to ask his permission to call her sister?!? Vitto phoo phoos her worries and denies her request.

Pietro throw rocks at Fi’s balcony and tempts her down to talk with him- she doesn’t look worried now.

Sergio calms down Gael and feels valued because Gael called him, till Gael explains that Fi and Pietro are out of town with their respective others so he didn’t want to call them, and he didn’t want to call Rey and Adela because he didn’t want to worry them, so Sergio feels less special, and more like the scrapings off the bottom of the barrel, but tells his nephew he can always count on him any time anyway.

The doc comes and tells them Gia will have to spend the night in the ICU

Fi and Pietro dangle their feet in the pool and chat happily about their special day. Fi breaks the spell asking Pietro why he proposed to Aitana and he lamely says ‘if I can’t marry you who else am I gonna marry?’ Pietro lightens the moment reminding her of their first kiss and jumps with her into the pool. His undershirt comes off and they kiss and splash to their theme song.

Ahh back in the bubble, at least till tomorrow.

Labels: mivac