Sunday, March 29, 2020
CarayCaray Lexicon for the Patio of Lowered Expectations - Part III
TELENOVELA-SPECIFIC GLOSSARY
Beso Interruptus – A near kiss, which would have been consummated between a couple, had it not been for some crucial (and probably fortuitous) interruption by a third party. (Doris’ mini-cap in Y Mañana Sera Otro Día.)
Can’t letgoitis – Refusal to admit that a lover or marital partner can move on. (Nandicta’s recap in AQNMD.)
Chickenitis – Disease produced when someone has the opportunity to say or do something to clear up misunderstandings and doesn’t. (Nina on AQNMD referring to Paulina not telling Adrian about his daughter Valentina)
Creative Constipation – Label used for telenovelas that can’t “go.” (Lila referring to where Vino el Amor was trying to “go.”)
Cue the Kayak – When a scene in any telenovela gets too tedious, this phrase is shouted out begging for the end credits to appear. (Etymology: Where kayaking did not feature in Triunfo de Amor, but accompanied the end credits. Originally from the pen of wordsmith Capt. Silvia Sharkbait referring William Levy in TdA.)
Desk Desecration – When a bed is not convenient and the urge is great, a desk has been conveniently substituted, and the Patio emits a collective euwww. This has been happening occasionally of late, but has been going on for a long time. (Most memorable examples: Jacobo/Leonchi and Lucia in Amar A Muerte and Carlos and Gema in the new La Usurpadora.)
En Vitro Virtualization (EVV) – The possibility that methods other than the normal mating habits of humans had something to do with the production of a telenovela baby whose parentage is in question. (Example: How Leonora, Sebastian’s mother, could possibly have become pregnant without actually being unfaithful to her husband, as Leo alleges. Nina in Hijas de la Luna.)
Epigma – Self-explanatory. A human pig who is an enigma. (Example: A reference to Epigmenio (a real name), a minor but ruthless head of a vicious drug cartel who gets ditzy whenever he’s around his wife. Susanlynn in El Dragón.) Alternative meaning, much more literate and dictionary-like: "An epigma is not easily understood especially because he or she has one good quality which on the surface appears impossible, given his or her other mind numbingly reprehensible attributes." (Graciously contributed to the Caray Lexicon by Kirby.)
Full Frontal Hostility – This term is not to be applied when two characters are face to face slapping or punching each other. This takes place further down, below the belt. It is only valid if the person on the receiving end is a man (who cannot be labeled a gentleman) and being delivered single-handedly by an angry woman. The result is instant pain, reflection and perhaps revenge. (Created by JudyB in the real situation in Me Declaro Culpable.)
Galanbesoparalysis – The inability for a galán to remove a kissing parasite from his lips before his love interest sees it. (Coined by Vivi in CME, but not the last time used.)
Galanfail – Lead protagonist who just doesn’t measure up to CarayCaray’s definition of a galán. (Example: Ryan is another galanfail. I guess we are supposed to give him credit for feeling ashamed of himself? Well, it's much easier to do the crime and repent, than to keep it in your pants. I mean, seriously, Ryan? Who raised y-- oh, right. Quote from Julie on LDVDEC.)
Galanitis—Disease manifested by the inability for a guy to make any sane decision when it comes to women. (Adriana Noel in Avenida Brasil.)
Gaydar Interference – When one forgets his life story in the presence of a handsome closeted gay man of about the same age. (Doris about Cristian in Corazón Que Miente.)
Hand Porn – Camera close-up of hands held long after it would be acceptable between a couple who is not a couple. (Example: As José Angel goes to say goodbye there is a little too long hand holding between him and Vikki. She has to take her hand out of his, he smiles, she tosses her head and he reluctantly goes. Quote from Elvira and used by Madelaine in Amores Verdaderos.)
Illicit Skittles Transfers – Another description for an attack beso. (Used by Julie & Lila on Vino el Amor, after endless commercials of the freckle-faced Skittles Boy.)
Intoweled State – Applied to a galán who appears at a door, wrapped only in a towel to greet and admit a young lady. This state is considered superior to a galán, who, wrapped only in a towel, is having a phone conversation in full view of cameras, since this state is merely for the benefit of viewing public (Example of the former: Sebastián Rulli greets Adela at the door in El Dragón.. Example of the latter: Fernando Columba in MEPS. Esther describing Miguel in her recap of El Dragón.)
Nounkicks – Collective name for all the sidekicks in a gang whose names start with El (Example: As in El Ciego, El Cuervo, El Chivo, El Gato. Blue Lass in El Gran Final of PASL II.)
Prostidude – Term applied when there is an absence of an exact word to describe a man who simply offers sex to anyone in exchange for money, no strings attached. (Nina in Me Declaro Culpable)
Psychopass – When a seriously deranged woman tries to force herself on the object of her affection, who is not interested in those advances. (Example: When DisGracie is greeting David topless, or pawing at him, she's making a psychopass. Kirby & Julie on Vino el Amor.)
Second Tier Lowmance – A relationship that does not measure up to a romance, but takes up entirely too much time on screen. (Tofie on Vino el Amor.)
Sweet Young Thongs – Labels for aspiring ingenue actresses who get parts not for full frontal faces but for their full backside butts. Limited screen time, no lines, never to be seen again. (Blue Lass on Me Declaro Culpable.)
Telenovela Agony Schedule – Or TAS, is hard to define. (Example: OTOH, if he HAD, Beto would have gotten the DNA test done, then where would we be? Answer: Um....about three months ahead of the TAS. Doris in Sin Tu Mirada.)
Telenovio – A handsome man with a great personality, not necessarily the leading man, who can be paired up with a commenter, shared with others, then dropped at the end without hurting his feelings. (Example: Marcelo Cordoba was a telenovio for several Carayers in Alborada. Preceded in use, but lovingly adopted by Susanlynn.)
Testilying – The act of bamboozling police and attorneys with what sounds like the truth, but actually, is the furthest thing from the truth. (Example: Dan Boy, Ursula and Arango were testilying at the police station. JdesdeNYC used it first on YNCELH.)
To Go All Lifetime – Applied to a situation that could only belong on a Lifetime Channel production. (Example: She goes all Lifetime on him about her rights, etc. (she doesn’t think she gave those up nine years ago?? Nina in Hijas de la Luna referring to the reappearance of an inconvenient wife who abandoned husband and infant nine years earlier to seek fortune in the U.S. and never communicated with them again until Ultimas Semanas.)
Tontastic – Firmly applied with Gorrilla Glue to a character or a couple who absolutely can be dumber than a box of rocks. (Julia in El Talisman, after Blue Lass’ brilliant recap, “Quién es Más Tonto?”)
Universal Solvent for Heartbreak – A soothing liquid palliative for a sympathetic, usually female character who has just had her heart broken. (Example: They're trying to calm Vanessa down with tea, the Universal Solvent for Heartbreak. JudyB’s recap in Sin Tu Mirada.)
Vacuum Sealed Kiss – Where the breath is completely sucked out of two compliant kissers. (Example: Vanessa and Lino’s vigorous lip locks. Andy Banda in Sin Tu Mirada.)
Vengeance Rolodex – Filing system used primarily by female antagonistas for future use against rivals, where gunfights are forbidden, but surreptitious, calculating action can be just as deadly. (JudyB’s recap in Sin Tu Mirada.)
Wifestress – Someone who thinks she is married (falsely) to her guy, but is really still his mistress. (Delilah’s recap describing Monica’s status in AQNMD.)
Labels: Vocabulary
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Anita...I enjoyed this trip down Memory Lane...especially Sweet William in his kayak in his wet, white pants. Novelamaven ???
Permalink posted by 
: Sunday, March 29, 2020 at 2:24:00 PM EDT
: Sunday, March 29, 2020 at 2:24:00 PM EDT
Anita this was fun girl. OMG, I got famous quotes. How fun.
Thanks for the walk down memory lane.
And I really like "telenovio".
Kemal's mine. That man can wear a suit
Like nobody's business. And the eye-
Lashes have it.
Thanks for the walk down memory lane.
And I really like "telenovio".
Kemal's mine. That man can wear a suit
Like nobody's business. And the eye-
Lashes have it.
Permalink posted by : Sunday, March 29, 2020 at 5:54:00 PM EDT
: Sunday, March 29, 2020 at 5:54:00 PM EDT
Anita, thanks so much for these gems. We need all the laughs we can get these days. Carayers are incredibly witty. I sing this blog's praises to my Spanish class, even when one of them (a guy naturally) sneers mildly at my lowbrow tastes. He only reads Borges.
I did not coin "telenovio" ,but I loved it and use it. I cannot remember who actually did not come up with it many moons ago.
Permalink posted by : Monday, March 30, 2020 at 9:40:00 AM EDT
: Monday, March 30, 2020 at 9:40:00 AM EDT
Thanks, Anita!
What a fun read! ITA with Novelera; we sure need some good laughs and this is one place where I can count on getting that :-)
What a fun read! ITA with Novelera; we sure need some good laughs and this is one place where I can count on getting that :-)
Oh, this is wonderful! Thank you, Anita. Some of these are new to me, and it's interesting reading the "etymology."
It was fun. Not done in a day. I've been collecting them for several years. This seemed the best time to publish the Lexicon--all parts I, II, and III. That's all there is, except for abbreviations, but those are only a few, like TBLMOE and TOHIM.
Susanlynn--The reason I attributed "telenovio" to you, is that you were using it when I first landed on CarayCaray. I'll amend the posting, but it is SO YOU!
Victoria--I don't think it came naturally. It evolved during my involvement with Caray and I had excellent teachers of snark and wit. I will never consider myself at the same level as our masters at it: Madelaine, Carlos, Cap'n Sylvia, NovelaMaven, Elvira, Martaivett, RLO, Mike and Emilia, JudyB, Blue Lass and many others. But, thanks for the kudos. It certainly encourages more of the same.
Susanlynn--The reason I attributed "telenovio" to you, is that you were using it when I first landed on CarayCaray. I'll amend the posting, but it is SO YOU!
Victoria--I don't think it came naturally. It evolved during my involvement with Caray and I had excellent teachers of snark and wit. I will never consider myself at the same level as our masters at it: Madelaine, Carlos, Cap'n Sylvia, NovelaMaven, Elvira, Martaivett, RLO, Mike and Emilia, JudyB, Blue Lass and many others. But, thanks for the kudos. It certainly encourages more of the same.
Anita...yes, it is so me. I had no novios after I got Married other than my lifetime novio Hub , but he didn't mind the several telenovios I had throughout the years....Marcelo do Cordoba, Fernando Colunga, Big Ed Yanez.
Permalink posted by : Monday, March 30, 2020 at 12:06:00 PM EDT
: Monday, March 30, 2020 at 12:06:00 PM EDT
Very amusing!
So there were other novelas with more desk desecration that the first round of Por Amar Sin Ley?
So there were other novelas with more desk desecration that the first round of Por Amar Sin Ley?
Anita, thanks for the laughs! Ay, Sweet William in his kayak - every TN should have a signature go-to like that one.
Niecie--Ah yes, Sweet William. Remember how he was always bundled up in a winter scarf?
Susanlynn--Sweet William was in wet white pants in La Tempestad and boy did we have fun with that one. I think Vivi was the ringleader in that appellation.
Susanlynn--Sweet William was in wet white pants in La Tempestad and boy did we have fun with that one. I think Vivi was the ringleader in that appellation.
Anita, thank you! A very nice compilation, and a job well done.
I hope you are all well and taking good care of yourselves. We are all, almost all, scrupulously "social distancing" here in New York, and hoping for things to settle down soon.
In the meantime, telenovelas!
:-)
andy
I hope you are all well and taking good care of yourselves. We are all, almost all, scrupulously "social distancing" here in New York, and hoping for things to settle down soon.
In the meantime, telenovelas!
:-)
andy
ANITA...Finally getting to this and what a marvelous historian/lexicographer you are! We are blessed to have you in so many ways.
ANDY BANDA...We've been fretting about you over on the Me Declaro Culpable line, and are so glad to know that you're well and "social distancing". NYC seems to really be in crisis right now and my heart goes out to those who are ill and the weary doctors and nurses and medical staff who are risking their lives caring for them.
But delighted to know you are healthy!
ANDY BANDA...We've been fretting about you over on the Me Declaro Culpable line, and are so glad to know that you're well and "social distancing". NYC seems to really be in crisis right now and my heart goes out to those who are ill and the weary doctors and nurses and medical staff who are risking their lives caring for them.
But delighted to know you are healthy!
ANDY- so good to see you here! With all the bad pandemic news in your end of the pais, I am relieved to see you.
Judy and Doris, thanks for your concern, but if I die I'll let you know.
Our big problem here is population density, and the fact that some groups of people resist any ideas of quarantine or social distance, for various reasons, cultural, religious, etc.
Anyway, I'm healthy so far and getting lots of exercise while watching MCET, eye-rolling mostly, occasionally throwing popcorn at the screen.
It's a fun TN, and I sometimes read the archived recaps and comments, which can be great fun. For instance, there were a few comments from women who said that they could well do without the scenes with Manuela, the cook.
I wanted to jump in my Time Machine and go back a few years to tell them that Manuela was not in MCET for their enjoyment. Juan Osorio was finally throwing the male viewers a bone, and one with quite a bit of meat on it.
Actually, there is a lot of eye candy in MCET, which makes up for a lot of the silliness.
Anyway, you guys stay safe, this pandemic has not peaked yet and continues to spread. Be careful but don't strip the store shelves of toilet paper. Think of your neighbors.
I'll check back occasionally to see if there are any new TNs coming that won't overstress my old heart.
andy
Our big problem here is population density, and the fact that some groups of people resist any ideas of quarantine or social distance, for various reasons, cultural, religious, etc.
Anyway, I'm healthy so far and getting lots of exercise while watching MCET, eye-rolling mostly, occasionally throwing popcorn at the screen.
It's a fun TN, and I sometimes read the archived recaps and comments, which can be great fun. For instance, there were a few comments from women who said that they could well do without the scenes with Manuela, the cook.
I wanted to jump in my Time Machine and go back a few years to tell them that Manuela was not in MCET for their enjoyment. Juan Osorio was finally throwing the male viewers a bone, and one with quite a bit of meat on it.
Actually, there is a lot of eye candy in MCET, which makes up for a lot of the silliness.
Anyway, you guys stay safe, this pandemic has not peaked yet and continues to spread. Be careful but don't strip the store shelves of toilet paper. Think of your neighbors.
I'll check back occasionally to see if there are any new TNs coming that won't overstress my old heart.
andy
Andy--Glad to have you check in. We (well, me for sure) were hoping you would watch Amores Verdaderos with us. It is also OTT fun. We just had Big Ed Yanyez race through a crowded mall in print undies to save his patrona from a kidnapping. We're sort of adding daily comments at the bottom of our daily Culpable recaps.
The next comedy that's seems to be coming our way is over on Telemundo. 100 Dias Para Enamorarnos. Erik Elias (Julio from El Hotel) and Ilse Salas (Belen from El Hotel). I think they are promoting an April 13 start date.
During these uncertain times, I've been "attending" your Gov. Cuomo's daily briefings. I'm certainly getting a lot more out of them than anywhere emanating from Washington, D.C.--except for Dr. Faucci, of course. Cuomo is certainly an effective speaker, communicates well, is smart and easy on the eyes.
The next comedy that's seems to be coming our way is over on Telemundo. 100 Dias Para Enamorarnos. Erik Elias (Julio from El Hotel) and Ilse Salas (Belen from El Hotel). I think they are promoting an April 13 start date.
During these uncertain times, I've been "attending" your Gov. Cuomo's daily briefings. I'm certainly getting a lot more out of them than anywhere emanating from Washington, D.C.--except for Dr. Faucci, of course. Cuomo is certainly an effective speaker, communicates well, is smart and easy on the eyes.
Anita, yeah, Washington's dog and pony show makes Andrew Cuomo appear to be an extremely capable and even brilliant leader. He isn't quite that, but in comparison...
andy
andy
Add me to the list of Gov Cuomo fans because he understand what is going on right now and tells it like it is. Just like Dr. Fauci.
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