Monday, March 02, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #10, 3/2/20: Roberta Goes Hunting and Bags Herself a Man

Well, that wasn't all that happened of course.  Nat was prevented from confessing; Julián did unspeakable things to her teddy bear; Roberta and Alba both showed their technical prowess with cellphones; Ingrid pulled some more crazy ghost numbers, but Roberta seducing Franco took the cake as they say.  Remember when we all chortled that she'd need to get him drunk or drugged to fake a pregnancy?  Not at all. Just come onto him in the office and he's your guy.  Ready and able. Little soldier up and ready to fire.  But let's leave that gruesome scene for later.  How did this episode begin?

With Julián on a public phone, rasping with a Beelzebub voice, telling Franco his very own daughter is the one who hit the soccer star he's defending and left him for dead.  Franco refuses to believe a cowardly anonymous caller, so Julián suggests he investigate. "You'll soon find out your darling daughter belongs behind bars."
Alba notices that Franco is disturbed by the call and chirpily assures him it will all be fine.  Sour Ingrid spoils the mood by sneering about how concerned they are with each other--sweet! Alba tries to play nice and thank her for letting her stay the night with Gabriel but Ingrid ain't havin' it.  I only agreed because your lawyer threatened me--but what I really want to see is you rotting in jail the rest of your life for killing my brother!

Okay.  Glad we got that clear. Next!

Paolo is trying to get some things clear as well.  Like WHY is Natalia still with Julián when she clearly doesn't like him, much less love him.  "Well, it's complicated.  I can't tell you.  But trust me."  She's interrupted by a phone call from Dad.  He wants to talk.  Now.  Meet me at home. (Gosh, what could possibly go wrong with that plan?) Franco arrives to a delighted housemaid Celia and a not so delighted wife on the warpath. " Ah, you're so tender with the servant.  Since we have no pets, am I next in line for your affection? Oh, of course not.  That murderous slut you're representing is next." Franco turns his attention to Nat and gets right down to it:" I received an anonymous phone call saying you hit someone and left him in the road.  What do you have to say about that?" Roberta jumps in with a "How could you believe cheap slander like that about your own daughter!? -"It's alright," murmurs Nat, "I'm going to tell my dad everything." Julián swoops in at that point (their front door is never locked it seems) and tries to give Nat an alibi but she faints in his arms. "NOW SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" shrieks Roberta. Juls hauls Nat off to the bedroom.  Franco shoos them out and Natalia, now recovered, tries her darndest to tell him the truth.  But he keeps interrupting her. " Of course you couldn't have done it, not my precious daughter, the one I'm so proud of.  Forgive me.  I know who you are.  You could never do something like that."

Soooo maddening.  As is the dinner date of Ingrid with Mauro of the Nose Hair.  He's attempting to ply her with wine, but she delicately refuses.  She needs to have all her pretty wits about her when she returns to the house where that Alba is currently with dear nephew Gabe.  "He's so unhappy, it breaks my heart." -Mauro is smitten. "Ah how fortunate for those people who benefit from your tender heart.  I hope one day to be on that list."  Y'know, I'm just not going to say anything here. But Ingrid is definitely gaining traction.

Natalia, on the other hand, keeps losing it.  She begins, "Dad, I'm not perfect," but once again is interrupted.  -"I will never again doubt you." How about the traction with Roberta and Julián?  She's sure he made the phone call and she's ready to warn him right now what an implacable enemy she can be. "I'm capable of telling Franco everything," she warns. "Including the drug you put in her drink and the witness you bribed.  So back off.  Because I'm your worst enemy."

Thinking all is well, Franco flees the house, but not before a few more laments and high-octane complaints from Roberta. She's heartbroken.  Dying of loneliness. "I've only been gone 2 days," he points out. -"Two days rolling around in bed with that bit*h!! Do you love her?" -"She's just a client." -"I know you."-"No, you don't.  And I will never understand you."  And off he goes.

  Meanwhile Julián slithers into Natalia's bedroom to try and up the emotional blackmail.  With Nat turned away, he pleads his case while heartlessly groping and squeezing her fuzzy little teddy bear.  Honestly that was more disturbing than the emotional torture he's spinning. As in--"That happy guy in Canada bit?  All a lie.  You actually talked to my friend.  I gave him all his lines.  I did it because you can't handle the weight of your guilt.  That's how much I love you.  Me, whom you push away.  Really, you may have killed somebody.  You may have been the one who put Paolo in a wheelchair and destroyed his life."

  Hysterical crying ensues.  Great anguish and then some.  Which turns Julián on even more than the hapless teddy bear.  He moves in for some serious Natalia groping instead.

Ugh.  Let's leave that scene and check in on Franco.  He's exhausted.  Ready to flop on the couch in his office.  So tired he doesn't even want to talk to chirpy Alba when she calls.  So she wishes him a sweet goodnight, just like she did her beloved son.  He puts his phone on "silent" and leans back, ready to fall into the deepest of sleeps.  So deep, he doesn't see his phone light up when his darling daughter, still tortured by guilt, calls him ready to confess once more.  So ready, she leaves the complete confession on his answering machine.  With a...wait for it..."Me declaro culpable."  I'll pause here while you all mark off "title of show"  on your Bingo card. This sweet unburdening is interrupted by an enraged Roberta, who grabs darling daughter by the hair, bangs her against the wall, and calls her a stupid, bratty, narcissistic idiot who wants to irreparably damage the reputation of the family and the law firm just to clear her conscience. Whew.  The woman has a way with words. And a way with action as well.  She finds out where Papito is sleeping--the office! of course--and heads over there with a plan.  Delete the message and vamoose.  Unfortunately for Franco, he awakens. And here's Plan B. Throwing off her coat, revealing a slinky black negligée and a whole lot of Roberta, she coos, "I need you.  I want you.  I desire you.  I want you not as a husband but as a MAN! Well, the writers spare us the actual scene, but when we see a bedraggled Franco leaving the bathroom later (during which time Roberta deleted Nat's confession), she wraps up the evening by suggesting they meet each other in secret from now on-- like lovers.  Because after tonight, she just knows they're going to be together forever.

You gotta love the way this woman takes care of business.  No hesitation.  No waffling.  Strike! and move on.

Morning dawns after this infernal night.  We see Natalia cradling her abused teddy bear and sniffling over the picture of her with Daddy. Alba is chirpily preparing Gabe's breakfast.  Ingrid throws it out and throws out Alba as well. (Another woman of decisive action.) Nat trundles off to have coffee at the only coffee shop in town and discusses Life with her friend just returned from a trip. Friend's parents are divorced.  Nat thinks it's best if her parents separate also.  Upstairs, in the law office, Franco is telling Alba he'll try and get a psychiatric evaluation for Ingrid-Who-Talks-To-Dead-People-and-FeedsThem-as-Well (In fact Gabe caught her on her knees begging forgiveness from Javier that very morning.) Alba is so grateful for Franco's help, she launches into another inappropriate hanging on the neck hug.  Gets the stink eye from the receptionist and Mauro, who calls Franco off for a conference.  Alba then lights back down to the café where she can continue being Nat's new best friend.  When the latter bemoans Julián's strange ability to know where she is at all times, Alba handily finds the app on her cellphone and deletes it. And encourages her to follow her heart when it comes to Paolo.  In fact, why not meet him here in the cafe after hours?  That way they can be alone.  Nat likes the idea and calls Paolo immediately to propose a get-together.  Lots of flirting and happy talk on the phone.  Not so much at home.  Roberta is still on a tear, sniping about the lack of thanks she gets for cleaning up Natalia's mess last night.  But wait!--she has good news.  And hauling out a folder from the law office, she shows Natalia "proof" that Paolo's accident occurred at a totally different intersection that the one Nat's car traversed.

"You mean, I didn't hit Paolo!?  I didn't leave him paralyzed!?  Natalia's face is suffused with a lovely glow of relief.  Alas, as seasoned telenovela viewers, we know that blissful smile will soon be wiped clean off.  But enjoy it for now folks.

And there we end.

Labels:


Comments:
What a great title Judy.

I envisioned much of this in my mind's due to your superior writing and wonderful wit.

"rasping with a Beelzebub voice", "laments and high-octane complaints" were grand. But of course my favorite was "...trundles off" as it's just a great word.

Why am I not sorry to be watching this? "Mauro of the Nose Hair" and "Teddybearicide" are a few.

Lots of insanity which you convey so well Judy. Gracias amiga.

Diana
 

Thank you, Judy, I will never be able to listen to Julian, or the actor for that matter, without thinking of his "Beelzebub voice". Very well said.

Roberta is something else, isn't she? I do love how she always leaves Julian speechless. Last night she called him "insignificante celebro retrogrado disque de hombre" - I had to write it down, as this should go into an insults hall of fame or something. Julian looked so surprised, I wonder if this wasn't ad-libbed by Daniela Castro. How do they manage to keep straight faces while saying all this nonsense?
And she sure knows how to take care of business, as you very well put it. Shouldn't we add "gullible galan who falls for the antagonista's seduction" to our bingo cards, too? I'm not even that disappointed in Franco, he acted like every other tn galan in history. I bet the thought to use a condom never crossed his mind...

Adriana Noel


 

DIANA...Thanks for checking in sweet lady. My son-in-law teases me about my " Beelzebub voice" because I sound like a 3-pack-a-day smoker (and have never smoked) when I want to make my little grandson laugh. And of course Roberta has a bit of a Beelzebub voice herself. You would enjoy some of the nonsense in this, but I doubt if Mauro would appeal. He's what they call "un rabo verde", and old letch. As for me, I'm about to "trundle off" to the dentist. Ugh. But needs must.

ADRIANA...I'm so glad you brought up Roberta's facility for elaborate, impressive insults. You may well be right that our dear Daniela Castro is ad-libbing some of those. Her acting skills are so evident, both in comedy and high drama, that I think she must be a very bright lady indeed. And with a great sense of humor. There are probably lots of outtakes of her fellow actors cracking up when she goes into one of her signature rants. Just that much more fun for us!

Ah, the weak-willed Franco. Only Rodrigo of Destilando Amor could have resisted Roberta's wiles that evening. I suspect our noble family values lawyer just wanted to get back to sleep as quickly as possible. Therefore--satisfy the lady and return to his solitary couch in peace!
 

Judy – thank you for your recap!

Wow, Bertie really brought on the crazy when she went after Natalia.

I almost squealed when Bertie called vile Julian "vile"!

Stupid Franco succumbed too easily to Bertie's feminine wiles. Idiot. She didn't even need to drug and trick him! He was just. so. easy.

”Julian swoops in at that point (their front door is never locked it seems)…” Have none of these people ever heard of locks?

How on earth did Bertie have that “legal document” drawn up that she showed Nat?

I am so frustrated with Natalia. If she really really really REALLY wanted to tell her father, she could have. #telenovelaplotpropeller

OT - We are on news overload here after the big tornado. Death count is currently up to nine. This thing went on for miles and miles. We are ten miles from where it first hit, so not even evidence of wind here at our house. Counting our blessings and so grateful. Damage and devastation is so bad that I just want to cry when I watch the TV. And here I thought the worst thing last night was our hockey team folding in the third period and their disappointing loss. Gah... That is the least of our problems. Nothing like perspective.
 

Judyb, thanks for the snarktastic recap!

When Bertie went nutso on Nat, I had to wonder if Nat is really her bio daughter....such anger and resentment! I was totally blown over by that scene. Why is Nat still living with such a wickedly insane mother???

I had to shake my head and frown at Franco. He was to tired to continue talking to Alba on the phone, but he had enough energy to make the little soldier salute?? Doris, "'He was just. so. easy." Exactly!!

I think it's in every TN that we wonder why doors don't get locked...it annoys the heck out of me!

Adriana Noel, "Last night she called him "insignificante celebro retrogrado disque de hombre" Thank you for that! She said it so fast that I didn't catch the entire thing! What a mouth! LOL

Doris, how horrible to hear about such devastation and loss of life. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be so close to it. My thoughts, prayers and good vibes go out to you and all those affected. I definitely count my blessings to be spared of such tragedy.
 

I finally caught up on this one and you guys are all doing a great job with these recaps.

I also anticipate an upcoming edition of Fashion Felonies. Daniela Castro is often the star of these and I hope she will get some competition from Sabine. Both of them sure know how to rachet up the crazy.

BTW, I don't think Roberta was taking her meds consistently before this point. She is a narcissist who can't deal with her own issues and who projects them onto others. The jury is still out for me on whether Mauro was an abusive anything; I'm waiting for evidence that isn't heresay.

Both of these megabitches probably have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Well, it looks as though Roberta didn't have to go as far as April Troust did in the Law & Order SVU episode "Design" from Season 7. Why isn't she in a giggle jacket and a padded room? Of course: We wouldn't have a story.

I have to go to a doctor myself, so I will comment more later.
 

DORIS...Have to say I'm in complete agreement with you. We've seen "galanparalysis" with kisses, but launching into intimate congress after years of nada, nada, nada, seems unlikely and absurd. But hey, the plot must advance!
So sorry to hear about the devastation in your home state. We have recently been going through a very painful family crisis, and it certainly put any sports fan woes in the insignificant category, just as this tornado did with your hapless hockey team.

RGV CHICK...I think we're all baffled by Franco's willingness to be seduced. He's been cold and distant, without exception with his wife. And understandably so. The only possible explanation I can come up with is-- sometimes these physiological responses arise on their own at night-- and Roberta just arrived at a propitious moment. But no, even so!....Ridiculous! Oh well...

URBAN ANTHROPOLOGIST...Fashion Felonies indeed. This show is right up your alley. Overdressed Narcissists. Crappy Fashion Crazies. Perfect. I think you're going to have a lot of fun with this. And Borderline Personality Disorder seems more appropriate as a diagnosis than Bi-Polar, as Roberta claims to be. I've studied Borderline characteristics as a result of some issues in our family so I think you're spot on.
Welcome aboard!
 

All I can say to Franco is "Just Say NO."

BPD might be the right diagnosis for Bertie, and might explain why her bi-polar meds are not working.
 

Lots to thank you for, JudyB. First of all, for a top-notch recap. Second, for illuminating Diana's fertile mind to come up with a new term for our Lexicon: Teddybearacide (and keep her interested in this show). Third, for fleshing out all our characters' flaws. You never hold back. Is there a single character here who is flawless? Leaving aside Saint Alba (but she HAS been falling for a married man, even though he swears he's in the throes of a long-time coming separation and divorce AND that it had NOTHING to do with Alba (and isn't that what they all say?)

Franco - Stopped talking to and sleeping with his wife years ago; moved out of the house two nights ago and now can't resist her? He didn't say no; he said know (as in carnal knowledge). His heart is bigger than his pocket, so it's a good thing Bertie's daddy is still bringing in the cash needed to maintain his lifestyle. His flaw? Falling for a pretty lady who pays attention to him and he can connect with through her vulnerability.

Roberta - Not Borderline Personality Disorder; it's full blown, as seen by her potty mouth and killer instincts.

Natalia - Has heaps of trouble with self-esteem (at least she's not obese or suffering from anorezia to go along with it), feels she can't live up to her daddy's standards, is scared to death of her mother; sleeps with a dead teddy bear. She has become the victim of "spousal" abuse, because that's how Julian thinks of her.

Julian - The Dastardly Beelzebub Voice of Unreason, delights in torturing female and helpless people to achieve his goal, which is? Remind me folks, just WHY is Natalia so important to him? On the surface he's a good-looking guy, "respectable," good education, good money, good job....ah, there's the rub. He needs Natalia to assure her granddaddy's and daddy's legacy of a successful law practice. I guess he's suffering from lack of self-esteem, too, since he could probably do it on his own, except for--he's LAZY (and mean).

Paolo - Who probably thought too much of himself and his prowess BEFORE the accident, had a one track career, and, as the old proverb tells us, Pride Goeth Before a Fall. Well, he got his fall. He also has Mommy problems and sending her packing isn't quite the same as solving them. He's still full of rage over the culprit who caused his accident than putting his energy into making the best of it (guitar playing in the park). He needs counseling, not a new girlfriend.

Ingrid - Well, we all know what her problem is. She's suppressed her guilt for killing her brother and is tormented by his ghost. Her need for family connection extends only to Gabriel, whom she succeeds in stifling and punishing. She doesn't understand how to be understanding. Her sexuality exudes from all her pores, but sadly, what she exudes is rather pathetic now and her conquests very tenuous.

Gael - We haven't seen enough of him "working" his trade, but has a reputation for womanizing, which indicates, again, problems with self-esteem. He hasn't been able to stay in a long term relationship and probably sees women as tools to satisfy immediate physical needs. He also has problems with addiction, even though he knows cigarette smoking can be a killer, he doesn't stop.

Should I stop here, or could I add Dr. Luciana. What's her motive for helping Bertie in this crazy notion of having another child. That's a twenty-year + commitment in a household that's clearly unstable, though they maintain an aura of respectability on the surface.
 

Well said, Anita! You could give Dr Phil a run for his money.

As for Saint Alba, she is not all that saintly because she keeps draping herself around Franco's neck. A proper lady would not do that, especially to a married man.
 

First, Doris: I'm glad you are okay. That sounds like a scary one.

Judy, such a fun recap! I especially liked: with a ... wait for it... ME DELCARO CULPABLE. Lol! That's the second time I've heard it. It may be a running theme for all the cupable going on.

I somehow missed when Natalia first met Alba. How did that happen?

Franco rising to the occasion for Roberta was maddening. Maybe he was dreaming of Alba when R came in, so he was already, um... arisen.

Alba does seem a little aggressive and inappropriate.
 

DR. ANITA...Quite an analysis of our very flawed Culpable characters. And I agree with you that our Saint Alba is no saint. Her beloved husband only died a few months ago, right? And she's already hanging on Franco's neck like a heavy necklace. Not cool.

Plus, honestly, I find her a little too sickeningly sweet with her son. There, I've said it. I can be a troll sometimes.

Teddybearicide can definitely go in your glossary. Although Teddy wasn't actually killed, just sexually groped and rubbed in a creepy way. Well, heck everything Julian does is creepy. Even the way he breathes.

I did love your description of Ingrid--"sexuality oozing from her pores". Wow. In a nutshell, Doc.

As for Doctor Luciana, I got the impression in an earlier capitulo that Roberta "had something on her" and the implied threat to reveal it, if she didn't cooperate, was the key to her acquiescence.

ROSEMARY LA OTRA...Excellent tip on how Franco's Alba dreams may have readied him for all too much action with Beelzebub Wife. "Rising to the occasion"...wicked, m'dear. I think Natalia met Alba in her Papi's law office since she's always dropping in. Or it might have been in the Convenient Café. One of those two places anyway. Dr. Anita probably remembers. She's our brain trust here, the way Vivi used to be. The latter never ever forgot anything.
 

DORIS...Somehow I merged your insight with Dr. Anita's post. Yes,as you said, a proper lady would not latch on to a married man like a barnacle--no matter how grateful she is for his help.

I'm not crazy about any of our characters right now except the perky Bianca of the café. Natalia seems young for her age and not overly bright. Paolo doesn't strike me as overly bright either, so maybe they're a good match. Both are pretty.

Franco we presume is very bright and adept at managing his law career and winning "impossible cases". So will sweetly-smiling-I'm-just-a-simple-woman Alba be enough for him? Well, yes, I guess given Roberta's crazed need to control, little, uncomplicated Alba is just what our exhausted guy needs.
 

How's this?
NEW FOR 2020
Teddybearacide--In which unspeakable things were done to an innocent stuffed toy by an unspeakably vile guy. Upon closer examination, we aren’t sure this term is applicable, since the teddy bear was already dead. (Coined by Diana on JudyB’s recap in Me Declaro Culpable)

JudyB--My brain is as deficient as yours is efficient. Couldn't really care less where Alba and Nat first met, just so they remain friends. Could it have been outside the office when the Witness went Splat? It gathered quite a crowd. If I have time, I'll poke around among the early episodes.

 

Judy, you think Alba is a little sickeningly sweet with her son? I agree, but I think Franco is REALLY sickeningly sweet and too touchy with his beautiful daughter. Maybe they can pour their overflowing cups onto each other.
 

OT..just got emails from my cousin Drew in Murfreesboro. Sirens were going where he is, but they were safe. So scary.
 

So sorry, I was concentrating so fiercely on MDC that I completely overlooked the weather patterns across Tennessee. When the radio announced the number of deaths, I thought at first it was an earthquake somewhere else. This is too close to home, though destructive tornados seem to be becoming the norm now. The disruption, chaos and sorrow to the lives of fellow citizens is almost too much to bear.
 

RLO--We just finished a sickenly icky father-daughter relationship in a comedy, no less, between Dario and his daughter Estefania. Please spare us. Though when he does find out the truth, will he smother her, as Dario did or reject her.
 

Judyb...thank you . Lots of damaged folks in this one...all trying to get what they want by manipulating others. I always thought that was an appointment exhausting way to live your life. And so it goes....
 

JudyB, thanks so much for a rollicking review! Sorry I couldn't comment earlier; I've been in meetings all day.

So. Much. Crazy.

"insignificante cerebro retrogrado dizque de hombre" = insignificant backward-brained so-called man
 

I can't believe I'm making sentences like this, but...the plush-toy Julian was, um, fondling menacingly did not look like the teddy bear Nat was clutching at the end. The first one had ropy legs, pom-pom ankles, and...tusks? Like some kind of sheep-elephant?

I may be losing my mind. In this context, how would we know?
 

JudyB,what an amazing story teller you are. This was truly a fun read.

Fainting is not a good thing to do in a pinch to keep from answering the question. "Did you run over somebody &
Left them dead?" And she fainted so prettily too. And got caught by the wrong arms. "A teddy bear abuser".

Ya know, I actually liked that outfit
Berti had on yesterday. It was a black
Coat with a white blouse, I liked the
The way the white blouse And The cost
Came together at the neck. That's the
Only thing I liked about her yesterday
It's good they didn't show them to be
Pretending to have whatever the hell they would do. They shouldn't even go in that direction again. Ever.

I don't like mauro, he's kinda stuck up. Lookin down his nose at alba like
She beneath him and his mentally inept
Daughter. And now he is with someone
That(I'm whispering while typing this)
Sees dead people.And feeds them tacos.
He thinks she has a kind heart. Ok we
Can leave that right there.

I was glad to see alba get rid of that
App on natty's phone. Julian is evil.
Ok why did Franco give in to berti? He
Wanted to get laid. "It's just sex".

Ok the Episode thats on now I have to
See that tomorrow. Thank you JudyB for
A fun recap.

Ps, Franco should have shutup and let
Her confess. Cuz he don't know her.Not
Like he's gonna.


 

Nina...who knows why Franco succumbed to Rob's " charms" . Perhaps, he was having a dream about Alba , and he thought he was making love to her....Ben Presto bingo...BSC Rob gets what she wanted. Can you imagine another poor kid having her as a mother ? Uff. These people, right ????
 

BLUE LASS....I was thinking an elephant at first. But there were those little ears. Like a bear. Although the grayish color seems "elephantine". Or rabbity? But the little ears..those poor little ears being pummeled by Julian's nasty fingers. Well, perhaps we'll see poor abused "Lovey" again and can come to some kind of agreement.
And UGH...meetings all day. Poor you. When I was a teacher, centuries ago, what I hated most were faculty meetings. Bane of my existence.

SUSANLYNN...Good choice of words, my friend...Lots of DAMAGED folks in this one. Takes us back again to that possibility that Roberta was excessively punished by her father and that's contributed to her mental illness and need to control others. An exhausting task since it's quite impossible. All of us have "unenforceable rules" that we try to make others follow. But they don't.

NINA...Thanks m'dear. And I too liked the crisp, striking black and white outfit Roberta wore yesterday. The accessories weren't quite as overwhelming and carnivalesque as her party outfit. The trouble is she ruins any outfit she wears by being such a witch. And like you, I hate it when characters repeatedly interrupt someone who's TRYING TO TELL THEM SOMETHING IMPORTANT. But they do all the time on these stories. Another plot propeller.

Still, this is an interesting romp so far. And some more important information came out in today's episode. But mum's the word until the recap appears.
 

Ooooo I can't wait to find out the secret. And write about it.
 





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