Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Me Declaro Culpable #22, 3/18/20: The Good, The Bad, and The Dangerously Deluded
(Some poetic license taken, but the plot points are solid.)
BUFETE LOBBY
Ingrid: Help me, Daddy Lawbucks! Alba punched me out!
Mauro: You poor little muffin.
Julian: This firm should drop that skag like a hot rock.
Franco: Thanks for sharing.
Paolo: I'm here for workies!
Julian: Take these important legal papers and deliver them all the way across town while I make a surreptitious phone call to some people I hardly know who definitely do not owe me any favors.
Paolo: Kthxbye.
OFICINA NOSE-HAIR
Mauro: Let me kiss it and make it better.
Ingrid: Oh, goody!
Roberta: Oh, gross!
Mauro: Roberta, what a surprise.
Roberta: You're telling me.
Mauro: Knock next time. I have important bidness -- you two get cozy.
Ingrid: It's all Alba's fault! I have no brother and no pretend-son and now a big ol' bruise.
Roberta: It IS all Alba's fault! Nobody likes me, I'm still not pregnant, and Franco won't touch me with a ten-foot pole.
Ingrid: There are other poles, you know.
Roberta: Hmph. I for one have STANDARDS.
Ingrid: Yeah, I guess cheating on your husband is much worse than...I dunno, strangling your best friend?
Roberta: That was an ACCIDENT.
Ingrid: Aw, c'mon...do it for your family.
Roberta: OK. Just let me think of who.
Ingrid: Oh, just grab the first one that comes along. That's what I always do.
ON THE STREET
Thug1: Oh looky here, what a coincidence -- a cripple.
Thug2: With important legal papers.
Paolo: Squeak.
Thug1: Gimme your wallet.
Thug2: And your important legal papers.
Paolo: Sob!!!
Thug 1: AND YOUR WHEELCHAIR.
Paolo: WAAAAAAH.
CAFE LONELY HEARTS
Natalia: My Dad really likes you.
Alba: We're not a thing.
Natalia: And I know you really like him.
Alba: We're not a thing.
Natalia: C'mon...how do you really feel?
Alba: I'm crazy about him.
Natalia: Cool. He's standing right behind you. Bye!
Franco: Hiya, cutie. We need to talk about your case.
Alba: You're not my lawyer anymore.
Franco: Am so.
Alba: Are not.
Franco: Am so.
Alba: Are not.
Gabe: I'll hire you!
Alba: You behave.
Franco: Could you excuse me, Mrs. Castillo? I need to confer with my new client.
IN OTHER NEWS:
* Alba finishes the mural so her little hormone-fountain can "have a view." He confesses that he's in love with an older woman. What...in her 20s? No, Mom, your age! Casa de impactada de mama.
* Julian overhears a conversation about Paolo's attack and says he knows where he can get a good deal on a wheelchair. Gael asks, how did you know they took his wheelchair? Um, Natalia told me? Gael looks suspicious.
* Roberta confronts Alba over a salad delivery. More abuse.
* Nat & Franco go to visit Paolo and he acts like a total brat. I guess howling and breaking glass is better than crying, but...no, it isn't. I think he should go to his room until he can use his words.
* Roberta sneaks out of bed while Franco is sleeping. (Why oh why is he still in that bed? Blandengue!) She scrolls through her contacts and dials up a heretofore unseen silver fox from the past. Here I have to squeeze my beanie on really tight because he is about to get into the hot tub with not one but two sweet young thongs and he still stops to give her the time of day. His opening conversational gambit: "Have you divorced Franco yet?" Que que que???
BUFETE LOBBY
Ingrid: Help me, Daddy Lawbucks! Alba punched me out!
Mauro: You poor little muffin.
Julian: This firm should drop that skag like a hot rock.
Franco: Thanks for sharing.
Paolo: I'm here for workies!
Julian: Take these important legal papers and deliver them all the way across town while I make a surreptitious phone call to some people I hardly know who definitely do not owe me any favors.
Paolo: Kthxbye.
OFICINA NOSE-HAIR
Mauro: Let me kiss it and make it better.
Ingrid: Oh, goody!
Roberta: Oh, gross!
Mauro: Roberta, what a surprise.
Roberta: You're telling me.
Mauro: Knock next time. I have important bidness -- you two get cozy.
Ingrid: It's all Alba's fault! I have no brother and no pretend-son and now a big ol' bruise.
Roberta: It IS all Alba's fault! Nobody likes me, I'm still not pregnant, and Franco won't touch me with a ten-foot pole.
Ingrid: There are other poles, you know.
Roberta: Hmph. I for one have STANDARDS.
Ingrid: Yeah, I guess cheating on your husband is much worse than...I dunno, strangling your best friend?
Roberta: That was an ACCIDENT.
Ingrid: Aw, c'mon...do it for your family.
Roberta: OK. Just let me think of who.
Ingrid: Oh, just grab the first one that comes along. That's what I always do.
ON THE STREET
Thug1: Oh looky here, what a coincidence -- a cripple.
Thug2: With important legal papers.
Paolo: Squeak.
Thug1: Gimme your wallet.
Thug2: And your important legal papers.
Paolo: Sob!!!
Thug 1: AND YOUR WHEELCHAIR.
Paolo: WAAAAAAH.
CAFE LONELY HEARTS
Natalia: My Dad really likes you.
Alba: We're not a thing.
Natalia: And I know you really like him.
Alba: We're not a thing.
Natalia: C'mon...how do you really feel?
Alba: I'm crazy about him.
Natalia: Cool. He's standing right behind you. Bye!
Franco: Hiya, cutie. We need to talk about your case.
Alba: You're not my lawyer anymore.
Franco: Am so.
Alba: Are not.
Franco: Am so.
Alba: Are not.
Gabe: I'll hire you!
Alba: You behave.
Franco: Could you excuse me, Mrs. Castillo? I need to confer with my new client.
IN OTHER NEWS:
* Alba finishes the mural so her little hormone-fountain can "have a view." He confesses that he's in love with an older woman. What...in her 20s? No, Mom, your age! Casa de impactada de mama.
* Julian overhears a conversation about Paolo's attack and says he knows where he can get a good deal on a wheelchair. Gael asks, how did you know they took his wheelchair? Um, Natalia told me? Gael looks suspicious.
* Roberta confronts Alba over a salad delivery. More abuse.
* Nat & Franco go to visit Paolo and he acts like a total brat. I guess howling and breaking glass is better than crying, but...no, it isn't. I think he should go to his room until he can use his words.
* Roberta sneaks out of bed while Franco is sleeping. (Why oh why is he still in that bed? Blandengue!) She scrolls through her contacts and dials up a heretofore unseen silver fox from the past. Here I have to squeeze my beanie on really tight because he is about to get into the hot tub with not one but two sweet young thongs and he still stops to give her the time of day. His opening conversational gambit: "Have you divorced Franco yet?" Que que que???
Labels: culpable
Comments:
<< Home
Blue Lass, what a hot mess. Like Ur
Poetic-Ness. Good recap too.
Julian is just pure evil. Now what
Joy could he possibly get from just tormenting a poor schlub in a wheel
Chair? Don't he have anything else to do with his time than waste it
Paying good money to tweedle dumb &
Tweedle dumber to steal a helpless
Mans wheelchair? That's just CRUEL!
Roberta aughta get some sharp garden clippers and go all Alana bobbet on him. That would ruin his day. Forever.
Again Mauro is a dirty ol man.
Alba, the sane daughter.
Roberta(berti),the nutjob daughter.
I know it hasn't been proven yet but
Come on we all know its coming. I'll
Be Surprised if she's not mauro's love Child from another momma. He is
Such a dirty ol man.
Ingrid, she's just all out crazy.
Gabe and his Mrs Robinson fetish. He's not gay anymore? Where the hell are they going with this story Line.
Natty makes me tired. So does her daddy "fascinating franco".
Good night yall. Stay safe n saniti- tized. I wonder if this what people will be writing on Their Christmas cards after they say merry christmas
"Stay safe n sanitize".Or viseversa?
Poetic-Ness. Good recap too.
Julian is just pure evil. Now what
Joy could he possibly get from just tormenting a poor schlub in a wheel
Chair? Don't he have anything else to do with his time than waste it
Paying good money to tweedle dumb &
Tweedle dumber to steal a helpless
Mans wheelchair? That's just CRUEL!
Roberta aughta get some sharp garden clippers and go all Alana bobbet on him. That would ruin his day. Forever.
Again Mauro is a dirty ol man.
Alba, the sane daughter.
Roberta(berti),the nutjob daughter.
I know it hasn't been proven yet but
Come on we all know its coming. I'll
Be Surprised if she's not mauro's love Child from another momma. He is
Such a dirty ol man.
Ingrid, she's just all out crazy.
Gabe and his Mrs Robinson fetish. He's not gay anymore? Where the hell are they going with this story Line.
Natty makes me tired. So does her daddy "fascinating franco".
Good night yall. Stay safe n saniti- tized. I wonder if this what people will be writing on Their Christmas cards after they say merry christmas
"Stay safe n sanitize".Or viseversa?
Permalink posted by 
: Wednesday, March 18, 2020 at 9:38:00 PM EDT
: Wednesday, March 18, 2020 at 9:38:00 PM EDT
Simply loverly, amiga. I enjoyed your quick clipped tone and interpretation of the dialogue. Mauro has "important bidness", Paolo goes from a squeak to a sob, to a WAAAAAAH and then a howl there at the end, and the "am so...are not...am so...are not" back and forth were my faves. Great title too!
Alba seemed like she was getting upset as Gabriel's love interest's age kept going up and up. She was horrified when he said higher than 25, and then she just ended up with "es broma". Lady, you better look into this more. I gotta tell you... this, coupled with yesterday when Pedro talked to Alba and he had to identify himself as "Gabriel's best friend", I have to wonder if she isn't a removed mother. Who doesn't know their son's best friend (former love letter recipient) at that age?
Gabe hasn't had a bloody nose for a few days. Do you think he'll put it together?
That assault on Paolo was awful. He fell hard. It looked like he hit his head on the sidewalk.
That ...did we ever come up with a good name for a male prostitute? ... scene was funny when the one actress had her big chance to show her arse on tv (not her face, mind you) almost slipped and fell into the jacuzzi.
And how did Franco end up in Roberta's bed??????? R la O's cara de impactada.
Thanks Blue, you funny little vixen, you.
Alba seemed like she was getting upset as Gabriel's love interest's age kept going up and up. She was horrified when he said higher than 25, and then she just ended up with "es broma". Lady, you better look into this more. I gotta tell you... this, coupled with yesterday when Pedro talked to Alba and he had to identify himself as "Gabriel's best friend", I have to wonder if she isn't a removed mother. Who doesn't know their son's best friend (former love letter recipient) at that age?
Gabe hasn't had a bloody nose for a few days. Do you think he'll put it together?
That assault on Paolo was awful. He fell hard. It looked like he hit his head on the sidewalk.
That ...did we ever come up with a good name for a male prostitute? ... scene was funny when the one actress had her big chance to show her arse on tv (not her face, mind you) almost slipped and fell into the jacuzzi.
And how did Franco end up in Roberta's bed??????? R la O's cara de impactada.
Thanks Blue, you funny little vixen, you.
Thanks, Blue Lass!
Ramiro Fumazoni, who plays Tiziano, was the uncle that Ana Leticia got obsessed with in 3X Ana. I'm sure that if he was creeped out by that this could almost top it.
Gael needs to keep quiet and keep an eye on Julian to get evidence of his wrongdoing.
Roberta doesn't seem to care if Franco's entire office sees her crazy.
I think Gabriel has been a secretive kid. It does seem weird that Alba didn't know that Pedro was his best friend, but considering the family dynamic we had to expect something abnormal.
I'm sure Julian isn't done with these attacks on Pablo. I now have to update the Karmageddon page.
Ramiro Fumazoni, who plays Tiziano, was the uncle that Ana Leticia got obsessed with in 3X Ana. I'm sure that if he was creeped out by that this could almost top it.
Gael needs to keep quiet and keep an eye on Julian to get evidence of his wrongdoing.
Roberta doesn't seem to care if Franco's entire office sees her crazy.
I think Gabriel has been a secretive kid. It does seem weird that Alba didn't know that Pedro was his best friend, but considering the family dynamic we had to expect something abnormal.
I'm sure Julian isn't done with these attacks on Pablo. I now have to update the Karmageddon page.
Thank you, Blue Lass, for a rip-roarin' nose-snortin' snarktastic hilarious recap. I aspire.....~sighs-
I really needed a good laugh and this recap delivered. Thank you.
I might get to watch this over the weekend, since there are no sports to watch. I'm back on duty as Grandma's Daycare tomorrow.
"Roberta doesn't seem to care if Franco's entire office sees her crazy."
Roberta often forgets she is crazy. That is probably part of her crazy.
OT - in other news: the less-than-ten-people Pop-Up wedding was a success and the kids are now Mr & Mrs. It was lovely, in spite of being cobbled together in less than 48 hours. The venue owner said she had three more in the coming weeks just like this one. She, too, is losing business on larger events of more than ten people that have canceled. And our newlyweds go back to their day jobs tomorrow.
Así es la vida. (It's all about the Spanish, per JudyB)
I really needed a good laugh and this recap delivered. Thank you.
I might get to watch this over the weekend, since there are no sports to watch. I'm back on duty as Grandma's Daycare tomorrow.
"Roberta doesn't seem to care if Franco's entire office sees her crazy."
Roberta often forgets she is crazy. That is probably part of her crazy.
OT - in other news: the less-than-ten-people Pop-Up wedding was a success and the kids are now Mr & Mrs. It was lovely, in spite of being cobbled together in less than 48 hours. The venue owner said she had three more in the coming weeks just like this one. She, too, is losing business on larger events of more than ten people that have canceled. And our newlyweds go back to their day jobs tomorrow.
Así es la vida. (It's all about the Spanish, per JudyB)
BLUE LASS...You are just the funniest gal in the world. I want your brain when you're don with it. DORIS probably does too. Can we share Doris? Lordy, I would love to be that witty. "I aspire" just like my she does.
Some of my faves:
Daddy Lawbucks
Oficina Nose Hair
her little hormone-fountain [Gabriel]
Ingrid: It's all Alba's fault! I have no brother and no pretend-son and now a big ol' bruise.
Roberta: It IS all Alba's fault! Nobody likes me, I'm still not pregnant, and Franco won't touch me with a ten-foot pole.
Ingrid: There are other poles, you know.
The whole funny Franco-Alba conversation seen through your eyes..are not, am too etc.
[Paolo] I think he should go to his room till he can use his words
sweet young thongs
And oh yes, WHY would "heretofore unseen Silver Fox" ever be interested in rode-hard-put-away-wet Roberta when he's got a surplus of juicy young flesh around ready to party with him?
Oh well. Who cares. This is manufactured drama so go ahead writers, throw it at the wall and see if it sticks.
Just funny as hell from beginning to end, Blue Lass. And even though it's "all about the Spanish" I sure enjoyed reading something hilarious this morning.
OT Went to grocery at 5:15 am to see if there were any free-range eggs, Better than Bouillon and/or toilet paper.
And no there wasn't.
Just a lot of frenetic employees restocking shelves and some random people shopping. Did finally refresh my supply of lentils because I use those a lot. These are crazy times, Patio.
Glad that you are okay RlO and delighted that your pop-up wedding went well Doris. In the end, love is all you need and they have that. The rest is simply a ton of money spent on a one or two day affair. Better to just get married and get on with life while you're still breathing, sez I.
Some of my faves:
Daddy Lawbucks
Oficina Nose Hair
her little hormone-fountain [Gabriel]
Ingrid: It's all Alba's fault! I have no brother and no pretend-son and now a big ol' bruise.
Roberta: It IS all Alba's fault! Nobody likes me, I'm still not pregnant, and Franco won't touch me with a ten-foot pole.
Ingrid: There are other poles, you know.
The whole funny Franco-Alba conversation seen through your eyes..are not, am too etc.
[Paolo] I think he should go to his room till he can use his words
sweet young thongs
And oh yes, WHY would "heretofore unseen Silver Fox" ever be interested in rode-hard-put-away-wet Roberta when he's got a surplus of juicy young flesh around ready to party with him?
Oh well. Who cares. This is manufactured drama so go ahead writers, throw it at the wall and see if it sticks.
Just funny as hell from beginning to end, Blue Lass. And even though it's "all about the Spanish" I sure enjoyed reading something hilarious this morning.
OT Went to grocery at 5:15 am to see if there were any free-range eggs, Better than Bouillon and/or toilet paper.
And no there wasn't.
Just a lot of frenetic employees restocking shelves and some random people shopping. Did finally refresh my supply of lentils because I use those a lot. These are crazy times, Patio.
Glad that you are okay RlO and delighted that your pop-up wedding went well Doris. In the end, love is all you need and they have that. The rest is simply a ton of money spent on a one or two day affair. Better to just get married and get on with life while you're still breathing, sez I.
Blue Lass, thank you for that ripping recap. Definitely need to read something funny and snarky right now.
I can't wait to see Paolo give Julian a taste of his own medicine when he is back on his feet . I agree that Gael needs to watch Julian closely and then he should tell Franco what he sees . HOWever, will lovestruck Franco do anything about it ?
OT..Doris, congratulations to The newlyweds. Good luck with the babysitting. I do it for an hour a day via facetime. I am on the schedule that my daughter set up for her girls.
OT..judyb..I have not been to the grocery store since last Thursday. That is when I saw the tide turn and a lot of people in the store That is usually pretty quiet at 10.30 a.m. My daughter brought me ice cream on Monday. I guess I will have to hunt down milk soon. I keep in touch with people in Florida and Tennessee and Canada, and it is the same everywhere right now. I feel like I am on house arrest.
I can't wait to see Paolo give Julian a taste of his own medicine when he is back on his feet . I agree that Gael needs to watch Julian closely and then he should tell Franco what he sees . HOWever, will lovestruck Franco do anything about it ?
OT..Doris, congratulations to The newlyweds. Good luck with the babysitting. I do it for an hour a day via facetime. I am on the schedule that my daughter set up for her girls.
OT..judyb..I have not been to the grocery store since last Thursday. That is when I saw the tide turn and a lot of people in the store That is usually pretty quiet at 10.30 a.m. My daughter brought me ice cream on Monday. I guess I will have to hunt down milk soon. I keep in touch with people in Florida and Tennessee and Canada, and it is the same everywhere right now. I feel like I am on house arrest.
Permalink posted by : Thursday, March 19, 2020 at 9:59:00 AM EDT
: Thursday, March 19, 2020 at 9:59:00 AM EDT
Great going Blue! I'm bleu no more. Your script was swiveling me out of my desk chair.
Clearly, the best line is the Franco-Alba dialog, Am so, Are not, Am so, Are not. Gabe to the rescue. Interesting that both "kids" are pushing their respective parental units to get together. Of course, Gabe is right for all the right reasons and Alba is right for all the same right reasons. I'd be scared to death of Roberta myself. Gabe so doesn't want to fall into Tia Ingrid's clutches again permanently, so Free Alba!!!!
Close behind is Squeak, Sob, Waaaaaah! Does this tipo ever have an episode where he doesn't dissolve into tears?
I hope Gael quizzes Nat and learns she didn't know about the wheelchair theft until later than Julian claims. In fact, did she actually speak to him at all in this episode? This one was all about the ladies. The only thing Bertie is good for right now is to dish it out to Ingrid.
RLO--I was surprised as you to see Franco wake up in the matrimonial bed. At least it was supersized and he can sleep on the edge. I think he promised Bertie he'd sleep there because she begged.
JudyB, I agree, good one--Blue Lass has coined another one for the Caray Lexicon (to be posted very soon). "sweet young thongs," labels for aspiring ingenue actresses who get parts not for thheir faces but for their butts. Limited screen time, no lines, never to be seen again.
Clearly, the best line is the Franco-Alba dialog, Am so, Are not, Am so, Are not. Gabe to the rescue. Interesting that both "kids" are pushing their respective parental units to get together. Of course, Gabe is right for all the right reasons and Alba is right for all the same right reasons. I'd be scared to death of Roberta myself. Gabe so doesn't want to fall into Tia Ingrid's clutches again permanently, so Free Alba!!!!
Close behind is Squeak, Sob, Waaaaaah! Does this tipo ever have an episode where he doesn't dissolve into tears?
I hope Gael quizzes Nat and learns she didn't know about the wheelchair theft until later than Julian claims. In fact, did she actually speak to him at all in this episode? This one was all about the ladies. The only thing Bertie is good for right now is to dish it out to Ingrid.
RLO--I was surprised as you to see Franco wake up in the matrimonial bed. At least it was supersized and he can sleep on the edge. I think he promised Bertie he'd sleep there because she begged.
JudyB, I agree, good one--Blue Lass has coined another one for the Caray Lexicon (to be posted very soon). "sweet young thongs," labels for aspiring ingenue actresses who get parts not for thheir faces but for their butts. Limited screen time, no lines, never to be seen again.
JudyB - yes, I will gladly share. We are all in this together. :-)
OT --- Gah. "Tomorrow" is really today and we have la nieta while the kids went back to work late this morning. Hubby and I are exhausted from the day trip and all the excitement. We are not young anymore and hate to be reminded. LOL
However, I enjoyed a leftover cupcake from the wedding this morning. #sugaroverload
susanlynn - Aren't we lucky to have FaceTime and the internet to keep us socially connected? I cannot imagine us going through this without it. Even my sister said she can only do so much housecleaning. At least I have my sewing room and some UFOs (UnFinishedObjects) that I can start on next week.
Rosemary La Otra --- was there any damage from the earthquake? We've been unable to watch much news these past few days
NINA --- Oh you have made me LOL again! YOU stay safe and healthy, too, please!!!
"Stay safe n saniti- tized. I wonder if this what people will be writing on Their Christmas cards after they say merry christmas
"Stay safe n sanitize".Or viseversa?"
THANK YOU for your sense of humor. Humor is keeping me going throughout these current events. I would rather laugh than cry. I heard it releases endorphins, so you are keeping us all healthy. ♥
OT --- Gah. "Tomorrow" is really today and we have la nieta while the kids went back to work late this morning. Hubby and I are exhausted from the day trip and all the excitement. We are not young anymore and hate to be reminded. LOL
However, I enjoyed a leftover cupcake from the wedding this morning. #sugaroverload
susanlynn - Aren't we lucky to have FaceTime and the internet to keep us socially connected? I cannot imagine us going through this without it. Even my sister said she can only do so much housecleaning. At least I have my sewing room and some UFOs (UnFinishedObjects) that I can start on next week.
Rosemary La Otra --- was there any damage from the earthquake? We've been unable to watch much news these past few days
NINA --- Oh you have made me LOL again! YOU stay safe and healthy, too, please!!!
"Stay safe n saniti- tized. I wonder if this what people will be writing on Their Christmas cards after they say merry christmas
"Stay safe n sanitize".Or viseversa?"
THANK YOU for your sense of humor. Humor is keeping me going throughout these current events. I would rather laugh than cry. I heard it releases endorphins, so you are keeping us all healthy. ♥
<< Home
© Caray, Caray! 2006-2022. Duplication of this material for use on any other site is strictly prohibited.
