Friday, April 12, 2024

El Amor no Tiene Receta #30, jueves 4/11: Fasten Your Seatbelts! It's Going to Be a Bumpy, Bloody, Buggy Ride


Little Shop of Workouts

The Evil Twins are twisting and punching and hefting and dropping vital tidbits of information that Blue Lass is feverishly attempting to snatch up off the floor. Something about a diary -- or a newspaper, same word in Spanish, so confusing -- that someone threatened to use to blackmail them? And Vermin has a safe-deposit box? Can Vermin even spell "safe-deposit box"? Please chime in if you were able to follow this conversation at all. 

Mauro boodles off to threaten somebody or other, and Gin has a fantasy-hallucination that an amorous and gratuitously shirtless Esteban is the gym with her. "Esteban, you will be mine," she crows, looking if possible slightly more deranged than usual. It's unclear whether she wants to jump his bones or break them -- probably both, and not necessarily in that order.


Villa de Descortes

Porfirio asks to see his grandchildren, and Elvira basically tells him he can just stomp on back to the boondocks, muddy boots 'n' all. Esteban points out that "this is my house, too." (So I guess she can't throw Porfirio out, but neither can Esteban throw HER out, more's the pity.) When the children arrive, Bosco is surly as usual, Gala is cautious, and Eder is adorable. 

Porfirio: I'd like to talk to my nietos alone.

Elvira: What could you possible have to talk to them about? Tractors?

Eder: I like tractors! 

Por: Why don't you go do your nails or something.

Eder: They have radial tires!

Elvira: At least my nails don't have DIRT UNDER THEM.

Eder: I know a lot about tractors! Not that anyone ever asks me.

Elvira changes tack and starts insulting Paz, causing Esteban to defend Paz, causing Bosco to demand Esteban fire Paz, causing Esteban to refuse, causing Elvira to threaten to fire Esteban, causing Esteban to announce his resignation AND his intention to move out of the house and take the kids with him, causing Bosco to declare that he's staying with Yaya, causing Eder to whimper that he doesn't want them to be separated. 

Ginebra, who has been gleefully eavesdropping in the hall, slithers into the room. Porfirio and the children continue their conversation outside, where Gala poses a candid question: If we do build a relationship with you, how do we know you won't abandon us again? 

Porfirio walks out after a parting shot about how "not every story has a happy ending." Ha ha! He must not watch telenovelas! Don't take the address out of your GPS, dude. We know you'll be back.


The Office of Truth or Consequences

Amazingly, the entire Figueroa clan has obediently assembled in Esteban's office for tag-team group chastisement. Kenzo orders both bratzillas to apologize on camera while Filipa films and says he's going to upload the footage to Jeronimo's gaming channel. (Am I the only one who doesn't think The Momdozer is the best person for this job?) Jero goes ballistic and is informed by a marginally harder-shelled Kenzo that the subject is not up for debate. 

Esteban shows up and lights right into Jero. Kenzo steps in to defend him, Esteban tells him he's a sucky Dad and that's why his kid is such a write-off, Kenzo says he's a sucky son and that's why his Dad can't stand him, and BOOM. SMACK. POW. Batman fight! Fil steps in to break it up, much to the disappointment of bloodthirsty little Sandro, who seems to be lobbying for gladiator rules. Someone needs to take this bad seed in for a brain scan before he's big enough to handle actual weapons.


Bugtown, Act I

Los Roble are at sixes and sevens trying to flee the house with everything they need and without anyone seeing Luna. In the escalating chaos, Luna tries to run out the front door, and Paz shouts out her full name: Samara! No! This triggers a full-fledged PTSD recall of Ginebra forcing her daughter to stand under scalding water in the shower. (I would not recommend watching this scene. I did because I had to, and I only made it through by repeating "What a great little ACTRESS! And kudos to the makeup department on the FAKE BURNS!" on an endless loop.) 

Paz tearfully re-promises not to return Sam to her supposed egg donor. But where will they go? Paz says she'll call on Esteban for help. Fermin objects that "it's our dog and we'll bathe it" but loses all his metaphor points when Lupe tells him to shut up and stop acting like he's the man of the house. Paz finally confesses that she and The Don are taking a chance on love. Everybody breaks tunelessly into the Mexican equivalent of "Paz and Esteban, sittin' in a tree" -- everybody, that is, except Fermin, who looks like he just sucked a kumquat. In the background, Nandy surreptitiously phones Kenzo. 

Since there's only one entrance, they pop poor Luna out the window to hide behind the trash cans while they march out the front with Monito...only to run smack into Officer Floofy, who has finally bought a clue. 

Floofy: I am here to...um...inspect the premises.

Lupe: The PREMISES is full of COCKROACHES.

Fermin: And who do you think you are, anyways?

Floofy: I have it on good authority that two women and a guy stole a kid from a hospital.

Fermin: There may be only one hospital in Mexico City, but I'm pretty sure there's lots of women who know a guy. Do you have photographic evidence? 

Floofy: Um, no.

Paz: More to the point, do you have a search warrant? I watch tv, you know.

Floofy: Um, not exactly. But...wait...yeah, what was Doctor Monica doing here?

Paz: We're friends. And she likes tacos. Buzz off. 

Everybody: Anyway, there's COCKROACHES.


Bugtown, Act II

They no sooner get rid of Floofy when Mauro shows up with his henchbun.  

Mauro: I have it on good authority that you group are hiding my niece.

Mir: Oh yeah? You the police now, or do they just send you reports?

Everybody: There's COCKROACHES.

Monito: Hiya!

Mauro: Hey, aren't you the kid who was bunking on the bus? What's your name again?

Monito: I have a full name, which I will now recite, surprising everyone.

Paz: He's the neighbor's kid, I keep telling you. He ran away from home BECAUSE HE WAS ABUSED. [hard stare at Mauro]

Mauro: I'm going in. 

Paz: Well, there's COCKROACHES, so I'm sure you'll feel RIGHT AT HOME. [hard stare at Mireya]

Everyone but Mir piles into Fer's clown taxi, and as soon as Mauro disappears into the house, they grab Luna and take off. 


Bugtown, Act III

Mauro and Mireya trade barbs and provocations, alternating between their deep but perhaps somewhat negotiable loyalty to their families and their shallow but nevertheless irresistible attraction to each other. They work their way through all fifty shades of gray as they get closer and closer and sweatier and sweatier. 

Finally they give up the fight and give in to their passion. He bends her back and...

Okay, no. Just NO. If you two get jiggy on the cucaracha table, you CANNOT sit with me on the patio. JUST TAKE YOUR DRINKS AND GO. 


In Other News:

* Gala's dud friend gives her a hand-me-down pair of tiny jeans, which fit perfectly. I'm guessing this is bad news.

* Gin "recruits" Elvira to help her unmask Paz the Child-Trafficking Mastermind. Elvira is more than willing. Gin also tells El she's certain her own long-lost daughter is closer than she thinks, and that she'll turn out to be just as charming as her mother. Truer words never spoken, albeit unwittingly. 

* Esteban calls Paz and demands that she appear in his office to 'splain stuffs. (Wouldn't it be easier to just buttonhole her in the kitchen, where she supposedly actually works? Or maybe he needs a real, physical carpet to call people on?)

* Sam and Monito continue to have more chemistry and comic timing than the rest of the cast combined. #teamsamlunamariamonitopaco! Okay, I'll keep working on that. 

Labels:


Comments:
Great job, Blue Lass. Loved your choice of conversations. Your best question: "Esteban calls Paz and demands that she appear in his office to 'splain stuffs. (Wouldn't it be easier to just buttonhole her in the kitchen, where she supposedly actually works? Or does he need a real, physical carpet to call people on?)* " Too funny but true.

What I got from the Ginebra/Mauro conversation was that Vermin has a diary with incriminating info about them and it is in the safe deposit box.

Paz and her family are like the "keystone cops" any time they have to do anything. Cannot they just shut up and do something in unison. The answer is NO. It isn't dramatic just annoying.

The big turn off last night was having to watch Luna/Samara being tortured one more time. Why is child abuse and torture actually being show here? We could have heard Luna talk about it but it didn't have to be shown. A big thumbs down on that. Disgusting. It made me want to FF but I was watching it live.

Kenzo finally is trying to handle his brats. Thumbs up.

Esteban should leave Bozo Bosco with his grannie. Eder will adapt.

Will Paloma finally tell Esteban EVERYTHING so he doesn't end up spilling the beans about her and Luna to Ginebra? I am not holding out hope on that one.
 

Blue Lass, you make me laugh every.single.time!!
"Getting jiggy on the cucaracha table" is a gem! Save that for the sidebar, my friend!

I went back and watched the beginning of the show, Mauro and Gin are talking about seeing Monica at Paz' house, realizing she knows more about Samara than she told them and deciding to ask Vermin to investigate.
They also found out Vermin has a safe deposit box (filled with what?), you got that part well and they realize he's not telling them the whole truth because he's trying to get his daughter back.
Oh, also, Gin adds that Samara is not long for this world, Mauro physically turns his back on her when he hears this, leaving room for nekkid Esteban to show up.
 

I'm thinking Fermin's taxi is a clown car. Lupe, Paz, Pepe, Sal, Nandy, Fermin and 2 children with all their stuff. Mireya had to stay behind, no room for her too. Looks like they were packing anything and everything that Luna had contact with so no DNA left behind. Paz claimed she and Dr. Monica were old classmates and friends, I believe. I couldn't tell for sure, but did Elvira follow through on her threat and remove doors. The bedroom door wasn't used or visible in Gala's bedroom, though thankfully the bathroom door was still in place. Of course in Gala's case that is the room that needs the most supervision. I'm with you Blue Lass, team lunamonito too....
 

Jarifa, our comments crossed and we somehow managed to fill in the blanks about that first scene without repeating information. You got some, I got some. Team effort, am I right? 👏
 

One other thing, is it considered a spoiler if something is mentioned which is in the coming next episode scene? I'll be ambiguous if so, but wherever the Robles clan lands next better have a good fumigation system, I'm sure some cockroaches have hitched a ride in their belongings.
 

Adriana, it is always a team effort on these novelas. ; )

Could Mireya end up pregnant? Mauro and Mireya=M & M Too goofy!

Friday, April 12, 2024 at 1:39:00 PM EDT
 

Kat, excellent point about possible hitchhikers! Cucarachas like bed bugs (chinches) love to travel by any means available.
 

Blue Lass, my idol....wow , wow . You were on fire ! Too many snappy zingers to list . What a fantastic read with lunch .

Where to begin ? First, I love Eder , and I also loved this young ,talented actor in " Invencible ," I did't think I could love him more...but I do . This guy loves tractors. He is definitely going to end up on Poppop's ranch because every farmer i know loves tractors. Around here , the young farmers are allowed to drive their favorite tractor to school on the last day , and you see all these tractors carefully parked in the school lot when you pass the school. Nobody is surprised by this.

And wow...Gin has another fever dream about shirtless Esteban. ...but who among us can blame her. Evidently even evil gals can't resist Esteban. I think this might be Gin's downfall when she falls stoned in love with Esteban. .We know she isn't good at taking "no " or "please dont kill me " for an answer .

I enjoyed the showdown between Yaya and Cranky Abuelo , and I appreciate their dialogue. Seems Abuelo is not intimidated by Yaya . It' s an even match.

Can't wait for the next episode . I have no idea how Paz is going to keep Samlunamaria away from the Devil in Spike Heels .

Susan


 

Thanks Blue Lass, your recap was much more entertaining than the show was. Loved the conversations.

I missed the whole thing about the safety deposit box. I do wonder why he has it. Somehow I can’t picture Vermin needing a bank.

Loved Monito reciting his full name. I wonder if it’s his real name.

I wish Vermin would at least tell his extended family how dangerous Ginebra and Mauro are. Paz thinks she’s an abusive mother and has no idea she’s a murderer. And Mireya staying behind and being with him is crazy. She knows he planned to kill Sam.

With Porfirio in the picture I have an unrealistic idea that he will save Luna. But first Paz has to tell Esteban the truth. And hope he believes her.

Elvira was so rude to Porfirio. She and Bosco are such snobs. I can’t wait till they find out the truth about Ginebra.

Liz
 

Blue Lass,

I am starting to somewhat discard these endlessly depressing episodes in favor of the bright and shining recaps.

Yours was so clever and entertaining and a breath of fresh air.

"It's unclear whether she wants to jump his bones or break them -- probably both, and not necessarily in that order". Perfect!

"Someone needs to take this bad seed in for a brain scan before he's big enough to handle actual weapons". Sandro IS frightening. Perhaps we can do a simultaneous booking for Porfirio, who needs a personality transplant.

The flashback to Ginebra purposefully scorching Luna in the shower was horrible. Her tears as she remembered it were hard to watch.

The family flees to hide Sam another day but the walls are closing in...

Diana
 

Thank you Blue lass! Hilarious as always! I loved: ' There may be only one hospital in Mexico City, but I'm pretty sure there's lots of women who know a guy. Do you have photographic evidence?' lol so true!!!

I still haven't watched any of this week's episodes. I'm about where Diana is in preferring to read the recaps, though I feel like I'm missing something in seeing Luna and Monito interact. Maybe I'll watch over the weekend or jump back in next week....

Reading your recap, I had the immediate thought that Porfirio and Elvira falling in love, ie. being each other's karma, would be hilarious!!! I've known couples who fought with each other constantly right up until the moment they admitted they were in love and got married. It could be entertaining to watch that unfold.
 

Jarifa, Keystone Kops is the perfect description. I'm sure it's supposed to be comic relief, but it's really anxiety-provoking...do we all need to be singing the boyfriend song when there are cops, murderers and cockroaches coming after us?

Kat, I'm going to back and put the word "clown" between "Fer" and "taxi." That's just too good. And no, we never did find out about the disposition of the doors. Elvira said she had "ordered them removed," but we don't know whether anyone follows her orders (other than Fobo.)

Oh, and it's okay to refer to the avances. Not everyone gets them, but they are part of the show.

Omg, Susan -- "We know she isn't good at taking 'no' or 'please dont kill me' for an answer." Have you considered recapping...?

Diana, one of the services we provide each other is a free pass not to watch. Don't feel guilty. ;}
 

That's so much for all the wonderful recaps!!!

I'm having a bit of a rough week, I'll try to get the recap written and uploaded today, but there's an chance it'll be up tomorrow. Thanks for your patience!
 

While Weirdo’s cogitating, here’s some value-added about the doors: apparently they did come off. Bosco said something last night when the Roble clan showed up about, “It’s bad enough I lost my door…”
 

Blue Lass, I missed that portion of dialogue. What is a broncototota, my dictionary app is coming up blank. Kenzo used it while speaking with Nandy and Sam. Weirdo, sorry you are having a bad week....
 

Great big honking mess ;}
 

(A bronca is a fight, and the rest is intensifiers)
 

Thanks Kat, it's getting better, no worries :)
Recap will be up in a few minutes
 





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