Caray, Caray!

Part 1:
Lots of surprises for many of us tonight. Some of it having to do with the plot, but most of it with the unexpected schedule change. Seems there’s a soccer game on tonight (Mexico vs. Venezuela) that started at 9pm EST/6pm Pacific. Our show is still a two-parter, but it started an hour and 10 minutes early here on the East Coast, messing up dvrs/vcrs, and throwing our recappers off too. My dvr caught everything but the first 10 minutes, which I’m guessing had a lot of yesterday’s drama, but there is a bit missing.

Thank you Sylvia and Julia for filling in this missing first scene:
Frauddie brags to Alex that his plan to get back at Pepe is going brilliantly. As soon as he gets Ana to fall completely in love with him...BAM the final blow! Obviously, Alex disapproves. He tells Frauddie to give up the revenge already; it is NOT okay to toy with people this way.

The action on my recording starts off with Vince having a VERY public argument with Sandy in the Avon hallways about her presence there, since he thought he’d fired her. She informs him that she’s there on El Presidente’s orders, plus she’s got bills to pay. Vince grabs her by the waist to make his point, while she yells her points just inches from his face. None of this looks very good to Pina who has just walked in on this not-so-cozy scene. Vince explains why Sandy is still at Avon. Pina's not happy about it, but only demands that Sandy stay out of her sight.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to show you “The Wacky Adventures of Alejandra Guzman!”... Alejandra Guzman has finally called her producer/father of Miguel, Agusto, to let him know she’s safe. Since he’s a hotheaded windbag, she’s a tripped out freak, and Pancho speaks a language other than Spanish, Agusto thinks she’s been kidnapped and that Pancho’s the one holding her hostage. Agusto has the cops trace the number to Casote Lopez.

Rebe calls Pancho, but gets Lupe, to remind him not to forget the important dinner with their famous golfer client Lorena that night. No one tells her that the family drama delaying Pancho is none other than Alejandra Guzman.

Temo brings Meli the promised autographed picture of golfer Lorena. She is very pleased. Temo, however, seems to have caught either Nico’s chronic digestive troubles, or the 24 hour stomach bug Adoracion had the other day. Either way, he needs a bathroom, and pronto! Oh, and Meli thinks they should have a wedding for Abeja and Popeye.

Chacho, Chato, Chucha, and Goya gossip in the kitchen about who could be the mystery woman in Pancho’s bedroom. Meanwhile, Chela pampers Ale, tucking her in on the couch, and even giving her a motherly kiss on the forehead. (Can I check into Casa Lopez for some R&R too?) The Mexican SWAT team puts together a plan to raid Casa Lopez and shatter Ale’s peace. They are beat by Chato and Chacho who sneak into the bedroom to get a peek at the mystery guest. Pancho drags them out. Once downstairs, Pancho scolds his Chamigos and swears them to secrecy. Yet another call from Rebe lights a fire under him to get ready for the dinner.

Meli brings stomach sick and feverish Temo home, who immediately gets babied by Chela. Meli brags to her future cuñadas Ana and Lupita about Temo’s finer qualities. The girls marvel that both their brothers are total galanes.

Pancho tells Rebe about Ale and swears her to secrecy. She’s all ready for the dinner and Pancho says he’ll be ready soon too.

Candy and Vince canoodle, once again in the VERY public hallways of Avon. Sandy walks up and is not pleased. They start a cat fight over who is really Vince’s lover, and why they both blabbed to Pina. Vince gets the most beat up (by Candy) in the process. Vince and Arnold pull them apart. The other Avon staff get a free show.

Chato spills the beans to Chucha about the mystery guest, in exchange for a kiss. She doesn’t give him the kiss, but she does tell Goya the gossip. Goya doesn’t believe it, but Ado overhears, and although she is sworn to secrecy, she runs right to Pina with the news.

Pancho is further delayed by Temo’s illness. They speak about Temo showing up at the office without permission and interrupting a work meeting. Temo apologizes and promises not to do it again. Papa Pancho bonds with his youngest child and makes him feel better.

Candy and Vince have finally gone somewhere more private, his office, where she gives him a massage. She asks if she’s hurting him and he sweetly tells her that she NEVER hurts him. In fact, he knows it is he who hurts her. He’s sad. Each day he’s more convinced that they are twin souls (almas gemelas). He would like to run away with her where no one knows them—to the ends of the Earth! They smooch passionately.

Back to The Wacky Adventures of Alejandra Guzman: Pancho shares his concerns about his sick child with Ale, who’s hanging out in bed. She asks if he really does want to help her with her problems. He assures her and she thanks him.

Ado convinces Pina to go spy on the neighbors to see if they are harboring Alejandra Guzman.

Enzo interrupts the canoodling session between Vince and Candy, but doesn’t make his usual nasty remarks. Instead, it is Candy who gives Enzo a hard look and warns him that she’s keeping an eye on him. Vince wants to know what secrets Candy is sharing with Enzo and why Enzo isn’t being his usual snarky self. In addition to this strange behavior, Enzo doesn’t want to go to the Avon client dinner tonight. Vince is now sure something is amiss. “What is wrong with you?!!!!” Enzo just smiles (yes, he actually smiles), and says he’s just resigned himself to the situation of Vince and Candy. Vince doesn’t believe it, one bit!

Rebe’s still waiting for Pancho and calls him to find out his ETA. The SWAT team surrounds the house, terrorize Chucha and Goya who are outside the house, and enter the house, with their high powered rifles pointed right at Pancho’s head. “Where is Alejandra Guzman?!”

Pancho matter-of-factly tells Rebe that a SWAT team has just descended on his house and has him at gunpoint. Windbag Agusto blusters a lot and says he doesn’t believe Ale is there of her own free will since they have so many engagements and bookings. They head up to the bedroom, where Agusto continues to bluster some more about how Ale skipped out on him and her obligations. Ale freaks. “What about MY health?! That’s not important to you, right?!!” Pancho ushers the windbag out, before he drives Ale back to CRAZY mode. Pancho then scolds Agusto and the SWAT team. The SWAT chief is none too happy with Agusto for wasting their time.

The ruckus peaks Ado and Pina’s curiosity even more. They approach the Lopez house slowly, with Ado acting as Pina’s shield. They arrive as the SWAT team leaves, but Pancho and crew tell them the Alejandra Guzman thing is just a rumor, nothing more. Pina is not happy with Mentiracion.

Pepe, who has managed somehow to miss all this Alejandra Guzman drama (where’s he been?), comes home and gets the scoop from Pancho.

Frauddie actually takes Ana to a fancy restaurant, IN PUBLIC, with champaign and everything. She’s put on one of the slinky satin numbers she’s started wearing on dates lately. But she’s never had liquor and she would prefer to be eating tortas at a roadside stand. He promises that if she shares this meal with him, he’ll go eat with her at whatever dive of her choosing. They even have nicknames for each other now. She calls him “pollito” (little chicken) and he calls her “ojitos” (a reference to her big beautiful eyes). Ana lays one of her graduate level kisses on him, which seems to curl his toes.

Dr. Armando shows up to see the two patients. Damn! He’s wearing a lab coat over his abs and buff arms.

Ana and Frauddie share about their likes and dislikes, and why they like each other. Ana loves her family and her music, and she likes Frauddie a LOT. Frauddie likes her because she’s so different than anyone else he knows. She’s not afraid to say whatever is on her mind and doesn’t care what others think. Ana tells him it’s important to her what he thinks of her.

Dr. Armando has taken off the lab coat (yay!), but his shirt is still on (boo!). He likes the progress Ale has made and recommends she keep doing exactly what she’s doing, resting. She thanks him profusely. They hug, kiss, and Ale takes the opportunity to feel him up and appreciate his assets. Chela is also affected by Ale’s decision to focus on herself and what’s really important to her. Chela asks for Ale’s advice on love. Ale thinks love is the best thing in the world! Even if we don’t always choose wisely, we can’t give up on love. Ale can tell Chela's been hit by Cupid's arrow (flecha).

OK, I think I’m crossing over into hour 2 now, so I’ll end on this scene. Moni tells Papa Enzo that she’s moving in with Pepe. This goes over as well as we’d all think… “Over my DEAD BODY!!”

Part 2 by Sylvia:
Ahoy All, I watched the second half this morning and here is what happened.– Captain Sylvia

Alejandra thanked the doctorcito profusely for giving her faith and a new outlook on life, then after he left she gushed about what a hunk he is to Chela. Because Chela hadn't noticed Ale knows Chela's head is in the clouds and she must be thinking of someone.

That someone (Enzo) is stricken to hear that Moni wants to move in with Pepe. He has a tantrum and forbids it. She tells him she is informing him, not asking him. And she doesn't care if he cuts off her allowance.

The next morning Alex and Lupita admit to each other that they are in Lurve and that their blood races when they see each other.

Oh man, Ale is sporting ghastly tie-dyed casual wear which she says Ana loaned to her (get real), but it looks more like one of Candi's outfits. She feels better. She meets Pepe. She flirts with him.

Pancho tells Rebe about Alejandra and then makes out with her. (Rebe, not Ale.)

Alex and Freddie go to a jewelers and Alex buys a ring. Meanwhile Ana gushes to Lupita about how much she adores Frauddie. Lupita cautions Ana, then admits she's madly in love with Alex and wants to finish getting her university degree (carrera) so that she can marry him.

Enzo visits Chela to personally deliver a gift. She insults him, predictably. He says everything she says is true, however he is smitten with her. Every time he sees her he experiences an inner peace. She shrieks at him but fails to disturb this inner peace. Ana comes in and sees them. Enzo and Chela bluster off on their separate ways and Ana teeters awkwardly on her high heels.

Alex arranges a romantic dinner for two with Lupita, complete with a fireworks show that spells out "I Love you, Marry Me", and he shows her the ring. Normally I don't care for such drek but I found myself moved by his earnest request. She says they are young and marriage is a forever thing. "So is that a yes or a no?" he asks.

Ale tells Pancho how important her mother's love is to her, and how much she loves her daughter Frida. (I wonder if we will her her real mother and daughter Frida in the show too?) Ale gets all naca with Pancho and asks if he's going to marry Rebe.

Lupita says yes and Alex whips out a guitar and serenades her with a song he wrote, inspired by her. "I am with you, as fate would have it." He wants her to meet is parents who are in Japan. Uh oh.

Elena lurks around the house, follows Ana, and sees Frauddie pick her up and give her a kiss. Elena breathes fire and shoots daggers out of her eyes.

Pepe introduces Moni to Alejandra but Ale still flirts with Pepe. The normally jealous Moni doesn't seem to mind.

Temo must be feeling better because he's starving. Chela keeps yelling throughout the house that dinner is served. Alex and Lupita arrive and tell everyone to sit down so they can announce their engagement.

Elena visits Pina to rat Frauddie Frauddie. Pina points out Elena is a confirmed liar but is still shocked to hear the Fraudster is out with Ana Lopez.

Pancho is so shocked he calls Lupita by her real name, Guadalupe, and tells her she's too young to get married and she's still in school. He postures, yells and scolds, but finally relents and wishes them happiness. Elena Aguasfiestas shows up and can barely muster a half-assed smile for her friend.

Ana takes Fearful Frauddie to a taco stand where they drink sodas out of plastic bags. Frauddie tentatively bites his taco and likes it, although it's kind of spicy. Mommy calls him and he lies that he's with Alex. Mommy says the plumber's sister told her he's with Ana. Busted!

Enzo's dreams of Chela are interrupted by Pepe and Moni. He says over his dead body will Moni move in with Pepe. Pepe swears he loves Moni absolutely and only wants to make her happy. Enzo points out they have nothing and little by little the realities of life will invade and erode their love. Moni says she doesn't need his money, she earns her own salary and can pay for school. "Dad, I love you and don't want to leave with Jose without your blessing. Please?"

Alex and Lupita smooch some more, he admits he's quite religious which delights Lupe. They say only death will separate them and they continue to kiss under the anvils.

Frauddie drives Ana home and is ticked off at her because he thinks she told Elena about them being novios. She denies it, but doesn't see what the problem is anyway. They argue and Ana tells him off and runs into the house.

Bitter Elena tells Depressed Tomas that Lupita and Alex are engaged.

Alejandra’s mom, famous actress Silvia Pinal, shows up. Alejandra runs into her mother’s arms.

Labels: familia

IT'S ALL DONE NOW! Finally! (BTW, be sure to read the first hour's recap (for episode 17), written in a hysterical, witty style, by our own Sara.)


Because I'll also be doing Wednesday's recap (Cap 19), which is supposedly on an hour earlier than usual, I'm not going to do as full-detailed one on this one, but more of an overview with highlights of parts/scenes I find most interesting.

SOME OF THE MAIN HIGHLIGHTS WITH COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SCREENSHOTS:

* Lady who has supposedly bought the house from baldy perv landlord says they must be out in 2 days. After Bruno rattles his lawyer-sabre a little bit, lady extends that to three days. Oooh, wow, that's a huge improvement.

There is a protracted scene between perv landlord guy and everyone else. Landlord guy tells Ana Paula that "all the houses" could have been hers (presumably had she "gone along" with his pervy intentions) but she angrily reminds him that he's MARRIED and maybe she'd go to his WIFE and have a chat. Later, Bruno confronts MentiRosa about how exactly did she "deal" with pervy landlord before with the late rent? Did she offer AP to him (landlord)? Bruno's getting a clue that MentiRosa is reprehensible and would have sold off AP to the landlord if she could.

Bruno starts to get a clue about how much of a MentiRosa she really is.

The 2,354th time that Tia turns on the waterworks to get Paula guilty. A suspicious Bruno looks on.

GUILT GUILT GUILT. She's a pro at dishing out the guilt!

*David hints that he and Sinthia should marry. Sinthia doesn't refuse, but thinks it's too soon, and besides, they wouldn't want to conflict with the huge boda that Rohell and Vainessa have planned. *cough cough*

David wants to move things along.

They agree to wait a little while before discussing marrying.

* Tia puts on various drama queen acts in hopes of guilting Ana Paula into marrying the Beast, errr, Rohell. So far no good.

* Bruno offers to help them with their lodging hardship (now that they have no home) but at first AP refuses, saying that she's waiting to see what's up with her boyfriend. Later, AP haltingly asks if Bruno can loan them something for a deposit on a room for Tia, but Bruno can't, citing some sort of banking problem and he can't get to any of his money at the moment. (Which seems strange. But whatever.)

*Federico has a man-to-man talk with Rohell about the pending marriage that everyone seems to think is going to happen. He understands that continuing their business arrangement is good for the business, but his overriding concern is Vainessa's happiness. He's concerned that things have not changed enough and comments that he was "convinced" that Rohell would never forgive and that Vainessa would never live with him in his "condition." Rohell laughingly says that it surprised him too. Fed concedes that Vain is somewhat impulsive and selfish. (NO, REALLY?) Rohell says "don't worry." There is some talk about grandchildren. Fed wishes that Rohell and Vain would adopt, but Rohell says that Vain is committed to not having any family. (I feel sorry for poor Fed with no grandkids to look forward to, then!)

Rohell is willing to sign a new business contract between them, but Fed is not so sure. Eventually Fed says that they could have a clause that says if anyone wants to bail on the contract prematurely, they must forfeit a fee of millions. Rohell is okay with this.

Rohell offers Federico a new contract.

Rohell is all affability when dealing with Federico.

* Fed also mentions that he wants Vainessa to have a part of his business. Rohell looks befuddled, as if he's thinking whatever, who would want a WOMAN involved in the business. Pig. Then Fed says he thinks it's time that Vain have some shares of the company. Rohell says "Por supuesto!" and toasts with Fed.

Talking business with Rohell.

They drink a toast to their business.

Does not compute: Why would Fed want to give a WOMAN a share in his business? (He is SUCH A PIG)

Rohell flashes a sneaky, sh*t-eating grin at the completion of the business meeting with Federico.

* Cupcake (Ana Paula) is able to get a job nursing and is bringing in a little money. She spends some of her earnings on Tia Mentirosa's pills (since Tia made such a stink about how POOOOOOOOR they were, and how she was so SIIIIIIICK but never mind her *cough*cough* she'll just wither away and die because they're so POOOOOOOOR). Tia is not amused and throws the meds in a box in disgust when Cupcake leaves the room. Tia also fakes passing out to squeeze more guilt out of AP.

TOTALLY faking it.

Cupcake tries to comfort a forever-hysterical Tia.

* More trauma for poor Miguel in prison. Dany tries to give him some meds/ointment for his hand but the thugs immediately take it away. Miguel again attempts to drive Dany away and break up with her, but she protests. She leaves him with the carved wooden heart that he made for her. 

Dany brings some meds and other materials for the treatment of Miguel's hand.

Miguel sadly looks at the carved heart that he made for Dani and himself. Wonder how long it is before the prison thugs take that too?

* Later we hear that Miguel has been moved to the infirmary, where presumably he will be a little safer.

* Fed tries to have a friendly chat with Elsa la vaca about the business. She could have worked with him in the business all these years, she was smart enough. La Vaca says she realizes she should have now; maybe if she'd been at work he wouldn't have had the affair with the secretary.

She can't miss any opportunity to make a dig about the affair he had like 20-something years ago.

* There are some very amusing scenes between scheming Tia and scheming Rohell. "You can't sh*t an old turd" as an old friend of the family always said. Both of these characters are old turds, but Rohell's a tougher old turd and Tia is no match for him. Tia tries to squeeze more money out of Rohell, with uneven results.

* In the first scene between these two old turds, Tia expects Rohell to pay up for the pervy landlord, since he did his bit and they're now kicked out of the house. Rohell isn't going for this. "Sucks to be you" he says, in essence, to Tia. He's not paying out anything UNTIL Paula consents to marry him. She then mentions that BRUNO has offered to help. This momentarily takes the sh*t-eating grin off of Rohell's face, but he quickly recovers and says that hey, it's good that she has other options. Tia does not look amused.

He'd better get used to this: Tia hitting up Rohell for more funds.

But this old turd is no pushover.

She realizes, too late, that she miscalculated how much she could squeeze out of fellow old turd Rohellio.

The toughest old turd has the last laugh. Tia is not amused.

* Back at the pueblo where Gustavo is recovering, Ernesto tells Mercedes that Gus's liver and kidneys may have been damaged due to the dehydration and they don't know yet how bad off he is. Mercedes is understandably distraught.

Worried about her little bro.

* A conversation between Bruno and Rohell. Bruno wonders why Rohell won't do more for our Cupcake. "Sucks to be her" is what he essentially says.  He's already helped out a lot and reminds Bruno to just do what he tells him to. Bruno can't figure out Rohell's game.

"Sucks to be her" is what Rohell says about Ana Paula's woes.

* Ana Paula has a conversation about all her woes with Dany. She can't just do nothing! Whatever, more of the same. FF>>>

Our Cupcake is resolved to not just do nothing.

* In a scene between Vainessa and Rohell, Vain whines about wanting to stay in Tuxtla. Rohell says of course they'll be at the Hacienda. She says but she'll need to be in Tuxtla a lot for business, besides, she'd like for them to have a place just for the two of them; Rohell relents and says to start looking for a house, then.

She's an expert at whining.

Happy that she thinks she's getting her way.

Smiles all around.

* There are a series of scenes, which I've spared you, with more guilt-guilt-guilt being heaped on Ana Paula by Tia, what are we gonna do about Miguel, poor us, maybe you should reconsider taking up Sr. Montero's offer, blah blah blah.

* AP and Tia sell the furniture in their house. Tia looks on and cries.

Selling off the furniture. (My sister loves the pretty window in the background!)

* Another delightful scene between our two resident old turds. Tia tries to hit up Rohell for more funds because they've sold off their furniture and have nowhere to stay. "Sucks to be you" Rohell says again. Tia had promised him that she'd help persuade Paula to say yes to his proposal, but Tia obviously hasn't tried hard enough.  She starts to whine about all the problems but he doesn't want to hear it. He taunts her by saying that maybe she should go hit up BRUNO for help. Again Tia realizes she's been outmaneuvered by a tougher old turd.

The complete lack of empathy and concern for Tia's problems are etched all over his face.

Her whining and entreaties are not moving the other old turd in the room.

He taunts her and reminds her that she can always go to Bruno if she wants.

* Things are going along swimmingly between Federico and Rohell. A new contract is going to be signed. Federico is also giving Vain 30% of the shares of his company. Rohell snorts out some piggy thing about not wanting to give his opinion on women being in business. As Fed, Vainessa, Sin, Elsa la Vaca et al are all in accordance and happy about the turn of events, Rohell has this sneaky, sh*t-eating grin on his face for a split second. If we doubted before that he had nefarious plans, we have no doubt now.

Giving a congratulatory smile to Vainessa over being included in her dad's company.

Everyone's so happy. We'll see how long this lasts.

Sinthia, inspired by seeing Vainessa welcomed into the business world, comments about women in business to Rohell. (A not-subtle hint about her wanting her share of the Hacienda.) Rohell laughs and makes a comment about her learning to cook beans (?) while he makes a "stirring beans in the pot" gesture. He is telling her (in a totally douchebaggy way) that he doesn't think she's ready to do business, and Sinthia does not look amused.

Federico talks in loving terms about how he wants Rohell and Vainessa to have a happy relationship. Vain stoops down to give him a smooch, as Rohell offers us a glimpse of how he really feels about her.

Then he gives his trademark sh*t-eating grin.

* Our Cupcake has to leave to start her work with Rohell at the Hacienda shortly but wants to try one more time to get news about Gus before she has to go. She has been informed by Mercedes (via phone) that Gus is in really bad shape. She goes to the hospital where Mercedes works in hopes of encountering her there, but instead hears from a nurse that Mercedes has just had a loss in the family and the nurse gives Cupcake a newspaper with an announcement of the death of "Gustavo Duran Esquivel." Cupcake walks into traffic (literally) with the newspaper clutched in her hand. She goes to see Dani and tells her the terrible news.

"No puede ser!" (It can't be!) Ana Paula is devastated by the news of Gus's death.

She wanders out into traffic, shocked at the news, with newspaper clutched in her hand.

Crying on Dany's shoulder.

* An interesting scene between Rohellio and Vainessa. He's angry because she signed the business contract without looking at it first. She whines that she knows he wouldn't hurt her because he loves her, and besides, her father had already checked it out. Rohell warns her (with great sincerity) to never trust anyone, especially loved ones; they can betray you the most. Between Vainessa's clueless whines, he says, "Do you know how difficult it was to do business with your father all these years, after you dumped me?" She placates him by sitting on his lap, and after a moment of true sadness passes over his face, he proceeds to suck face with her passionately.

They sure do drink a lot in this TN.

"Everything has changed!" she assures him.

He shows his true feelings for a moment.

Then gets into the passionate kiss that she initiates.

* Tia is actually taking her fellow old turd's advice about approaching Bruno for help. Over lunch, she is sharing her "concern" for Ana Paula, and saying that she's wondering if that old turd Rohellio has some "hidden interest" in AP, what with him being so determined to have her work for him and all. Bruno smirks and says that he used to wonder about Rohell's feelings towards AP as well, but he now thinks he was mistaken, because Rohell just recently got engaged to his ex-novia, Vainessa. MentiRosa looks impactada at this news and blurts out "QUE?!?!"

Sneakily "implying" that maybe Rohell's interest in Ana Paula is not entirely professional.

Yeah, he used to wonder about that too, but now that Rohell's gotten engaged to Vainessa, Bruno assumes he was barking up the wrong tree.

Rohellio already engaged? QUE!?!?!? Uh oh, does that mean she's lost her current meal ticket?

* Our last scene is at the grave of Gustavo Duran Esquivel. An older woman (presumably Gus's mom) is crying as well as Mercedes, with Ernesto in the background saying that Gus would not want them to be unhappy.

No, say it ain't so! Has our beautiful eyelashed one gone on to the next life?

Avances: More douchebaggery. Miguel has it very bad in prison. AP promises to help. Prays in church. Maybe she'll have to pay the ultimate price and marry that old turd Rohell.

From the avance: Nice little split-screen shot showing how obsessed the old turd Rohellio is with Ana Paula.

Labels: no-podia

The note on the fridge version:

• Tia lies, cries and pries.
• Mercedes spreads the lies.
• Vainy plans a wedding.
• Rohell plans...we just don't know what exactly.
• Miguel gets a beat down.
• Ana Pau says no.
• The family gets evicted.

The line by line screed (sort of)
Refrito:
Rehash of Miguel's legal problems...that will cost about 2 million pesos and if he's guilty 8 years in prison. Miguel meets the welcome committee.

Doc calls Mercedes. Gustavo repeats Mercedes’ name ad nauseum. Mercedes screeches into the phone.

Fresh helping o' schlock:
Cupcake returns home and asks Tia if anyone called. Tia tells her if she’s waiting for her Novio el Desaparecido she can forget it. Cupcake just knows Gus will turn up. Tia thinks she should take the offer from Rohell. Cupcake has to find out if Gus is ok. She reaches for the phone but Tia asks her to fetch some water and her meds. While Cupcake is gone Tia cuts the phone cord. LMAO. Desperate Tia is desperate. When Cupcake returns there is no dial tone. Tia says it must have been cut off since Bro didn’t pay the bill.

The cows are coming home. Maria, M-grito, Conned and Effer mourn La Paloma. Effer throws the blame squarely on the vet’s lap while M-grito argues it was Effer’s fault. It’s decided that they need to tell Ro-hell.

Sin takes note of Ro-hell’s happy face. She asks if it’s because of the wedding with Vainy. Ro-hell says things are turning out the way he wanted….whatever that means. Maria calls with the bad news about La Paloma. She hands the phone over to Effer so he can explain. Colic, vet’s fault since he didn’t show up all night. Rohell yells about checking animals every day and calling the vet ASAP. Sin cries.

Vainy and Esteban sign the divorce papers. He asks her one last time if she’s sure. She is. She’s ready to finish this after so many years of being unhappy. Esteban wonders if she ever loved him. you can't go around hurting people.First she hurt Rohell, now him. You can't do that and not pay for it.  He hopes she doesn’t regret this. He dramatically removes his ring.

Conned comforts Effer about the horse. Conned says it’s a pity La Patrona is rica rica pero no tiene words I can’t catch. The English was "rich rich, but no one to do her (racy!) At least Conned has Effer and she’s the only one he loves. Right? Riiiiiight.

Sin weeps. Ro-hell says it’s just an animal. They’ll buy another. Sin says animals aren’t just things. Ro-hell gave Paloma to her. He says she needs to suck it up. She says he wasn’t always so tough. That was before his life went to mierda and Vainy left him. That Ro-hell is done and he ain’t coming back. Bruno calls with a Miguel report. Rohell wants it clear to Ana Pau's family that Rohell is the one helping them out. Sin wants to know why Rohell is helping Cupcake so much and he says it’s none of her business.

Mercedes says goodbye to her mom via phone. She asks mom not to tell dad. It would upset him. Ernesto shows up and says he’ll take her. She doesn’t want trouble with his wife. The phone rings and Mercedes thinks it might be the doctor calling again...

...At the same time, Cupcake is hanging up the public phone and whining about Gus’s line being busy. Mercedes isn’t much good for info either since she'd would just hang up. Dany asks if there is some friend or acquaintance of Gus that Cupcake could call to see if Gus has been heard from. Cupcake conveniently remembers Esteban….

…who is currently calling Mercedes. He’s glad Gus has been located and hopes he recovers quickly. She asks about him and why he sounds so sad. He explains about signing the divorce papers. He’ll tell her about it when she returns. Ernesto haz a jealous. Dude. You’re married. Mercedes thinks she should just go alone. Ernie apologizes and they leave together.

Vainy wants to toast to her divorce. Her parents don’t. They really don't approve of the divorce. Ro-hell and Sin arrive. Interminable greetings. Vainy says “A toast because today I signed the divorce from a man I never loved and now I am affianced to a man I’ve always loved.” Pass the antacid please.

David is glad Gus has appeared. Esteban has come to discuss the problem with the Boca del Cielo project. Bidnez blabbity. David BS lines. Esteban is keeping his eyes on David and will shut him down if there is anything wrong. There’s a big difference between plans and what actually gets built!

Missed a bit from Elsa la Vaca. The contract comes up. Ro-hell would like to renegotiate and Federico says no. Ro-hell is a little taken aback since no one says no to Ro-hell. Federico explains he doesn’t mix bidnez with. Elsa thinks the contract is just what they needed. And that’s precisely why Fede doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want it to look like things were planned just to benefit the company. Ro-hell just sees it as an opportunity for both. Fede changes the subject to the wedding. Fede thinks it’s a bit rushed. Ro-hell doesn’t. Sin congratulates them. (Fede is not at all convinced.)

Ro-hell must be paying ‘cause Tia ordered a big pan dulce. Tia is still negotiating her contract. She’s sure Cupcake will capitulate…given enough incentive. Rohell figures out that really it’s Tia who wants more incentive. Tia wants it in writing(?) but, Tia says with a little more money Ana Pau would marry Ro-hell and no one else.

Ana Pau pays a visit to Esteban. He is taken aback by her similarity to Vainy. Esteban fills in Ana Pau. There is great rejoicing. Ana Pau asks where Gus is. Facial expressions indicate Esteban doesn’t know or won’t tell.

Mercedes at Gus’ bedside. No puede ser. Sis wants him transferred to another hospital. Ernie lines. Doc lines. Gus lines. Mercedes lines.

Ana learns of Gus’ beatdown. WTH? is that a fudgesicle in Esteban’s hand? Esteban lines, Ana lines, Dany lines. The girls leave. Ana Pau has to call Mercedes. She’ll use a public phone.

Tia is going to take care of everything. She asks for Rohell’s cell number. He agrees if she understands not to call him for everything. Then she asks for a cell phone for herself. ¿Cómo se dice chutzpah en español? Ro-hell agrees. Tia promises Ana Pau will marry him. Tia prefers him after all. Rohell wants to know what that means. Is someone else interested in Ana Pau? Tia assures him that isn’t the case. She just doesn’t want Ana setting her sights on someone who isn’t worth it.

Gus wants to know if Ana has asked about him. Sis tells him ever since the graduation he never showed up for. Gus is ready to get out and talk to Ana to assure her he’s ok. Poor thing must be worried sick. Mercedes doesn’t think so, but she doesn’t hide it well.

Bruno and Rohell discuss the draft of the contract with Fede (The enigmatic Hugo stoically and silently looks on.) Rohell laughs at Bruno’s “future father in law" line. Bruno wonders if either Rohell or Vainy are changing their minds. Rohell says one never knows what’s going to happen. Bruno knows Rohell doesn’t do anything unless he knows he’s going to win. Bruno tries to talk to Rohell about the nurse. Rohell cuts him off and leaves.

Gus wants to know why Merc is so quiet. Mercedes just tells him to rest.

Cupcake is floating on air. She is so happy and at peace. Tia wants to know how that can be. They don’t have a cent and Ana is not working AND Migui is in jail. But in all that darkness, Ana Pau found some light (and glitter and unicorns and fairies.) Gus has shown up! He’s alive! Tia is impactada.

Ernie is concerned about Gus's condition. Possible renal failure. Gus still insists on talking to Ana. Stubborn little guy, isn’t he? Mercedes spills the Brunobeso beans. Gus is Cyclops impactado.

Ana Pau tells Tia about the assault. Tia digs for info. Is he conscious? Does he know what happened? Cupcake doesn’t know, but he’s coming back and she’ll be able to hug him (is there any antacid left?) Tia flips. You care about this so and so (fulano) more than your brother?! The only thing Ana cares about it Gus!! What about all the family probs?! Ana Pau should be worried about is getting bro out of jail! Tia wants to know: is Cupcake going to accept Rohell’s proposal or not?

Mercedes struggles to calm Gus down. Gus asks the same thing I was wondering: how could Mercedes be so cruel. Srsly, Sis…he’s in bad shape and you want to report his girlfriend’s engaño? More “no puede ser”s Mercedes opens the can of mentira beans that Tia and Bruno gave her and spills them.

Vainy and Sin shop for a wedding dresse. Sin reminds her they’ve gone through this before. Vainy swears this time it will be different. Blabbity blah. Sin just knows that when she really falls in love, nothing will stop her. Oh, btw she really doesn’t feel that hubba hubba passion with David.

Gus calls Cupcake…too bad the cord is cut. Mercedes comes in and tells him to forget about Ana and focus on getting better and seeing dad. Gus wants to know what’s up with dad? Ernie brings something to eat and a shirt. Some lines about hospital transfer and Mercedes and Gus’ delicate condition?

Tia and Bruno worry about getting caught. Cupcake hasn’t talked to Gus yet, but they have to be ready. Gus might win!

Cupcake turns down Rohell. She can't marry if there is no love. He can’t believe she’d choose servitude (servidumbre) instead of being the dueña, but whatevs. Get ready, chica we’re leaving on Saturday. Ana wants to say goodbye to bro. Rohell says sure and make it good. Life in prison is hard for those with no money to buy protection. *digdigguiltguilt*

Migui is threatened by prison Cyclops. The snot is promptly beat out of Migui.

Tia is now making deals with baldy. She wants to help him get even (desquitarse de mi sobrina)? In the words of 5ft: TACKY. She makes a production of answering her new celular and letting baldy know it’s Don Rohell. Obviously it’s bad news.

Cupcake calls Mercedes. Mercedes hangs up on her. Mercedes and Ernie share a moment.

Cupcake arrives home. Tia is pissed. A little backpedaling (since in theory Tia wasn’t supposed to know yet.) Cupcake doesn’t lerve him! She’ll work for the dude ‘til the debt is paid. Tia asks if she’s talked to Gus. Can he at least help? Ana says she’s not a rogona (does an English translation exist? Basically, "I’m not gonna use my assests to take advantage.")Tia she should have taken the Rohell marriage deal. Ana will work for him, that's it. Cupcake will leave a letter for Gus. She’s going to go say goodbye to Migui. Sob story from Tia about no money and lights, gas etc being shut off.

Rohell tells Bruno to offer the family of the deceased a settlement (two million pesos.)

Cupcake visits Miguel. Gus news. Miguel tells her to marry Gus. Be with the guy she loves. She calls him out since he broke up with Dany and she’s suffering because of him. Miguel’s hand is infected. It even smells bad. Not funny, but really? She sniffed it? I have to laugh. Cupcake is an idiot and makes a scene. Miguel is like “ixnay on the ellingyay. Ugthays!" She convinces Miguel to get the hand looked at.

Sin and Effer talk about La Paloma. She’s pissed and wants to see the vet’s report. He talks dirty.

Cupcake whines about how scared Miguel is. Bruno is going to help and make awesome WTF? faces when Tia pats him on the shoulder. Bruno leaves. Tia talks up Bruno and Rohell. Recapper’s assessment: Bruno = rock. Rohell = hard place. Ana is somewhere in between. Tia wants to know if Ana has talked to Gus yet. Ana is sure if Gus were there he would help.

David asks Rohell if he wants him to speed up the deal with Miguel. Sin arrives. Rohell leaves. David wants to take Sin shopping for the bestest dress. David hints about getting married.

Tia can’t pay the rent. Baldy shows up and says he sold the house….to a nice lady who wants them out in two days!

Labels: no-podia

I take over recapping just as Pancho's friend in his undershirt pulls out the defibrillators he probably bought at Harbor Freight and almost gives Mystery Mascara Mama a big shock - but decides she hasn't had a heart attack. The Mystery Mama turns out to be the famous singer Alejandra Guzman who flaps her wings so annoyingly at the start of every episode.

• Ana asks Freddy if he wants the same from her that he wanted from Elena - and if not, what? He claims he doesn't want to go to bed with her. "Why? Because I'm not attractive, not at your level? ..." "What do you want me to say?" "Why do you want to be my boyfriend?" He compliments her and there's more kissing.
  
• Chela, still livid that Enzzo dares to twirl the dog around her (or something like that - actually he offered chocolate), yells when she picks up the phone, but it's Pancho - he has a big problem!
  
  Chela meets him at the undershirt doctor's place. The undershirt doctor thinks Guzman just hyperventilated and needs to breathe into a paper bag (my mom had panic attacks and that's what she did).
  
  Chela and Pancho decide to take care of her at home until she's better. Suddenly the crazed singer wakes up yelling at the universe, why can't she have what she wants - which is to be a famous singer but also have a normal life. She is quite angry and nutty. Luckily she faints again.
  
  Pancho slept on the couch. Sometime in the night all the mascara got sucked off Guzman's face. She wakes up confused...
  
  ... The breakfasting Lopez family is surprised to hear someone yelling about kidnapping. Guzman threatens Pancho with a drinking glass and says she's a warrior. And doesn't want breakfast. Chela sweetly talks to her like she's a scared baby. Guzman remembers being terrified by the press after her concert and running...
  
• Moni says she saw her mother, for sure! They looked in each others' eyes. Pepe can't believe the mom would then simply disappear.
  
  Moni is surprised that Freddy apologized. Pepe figures he did it so he could keep being the Avon driver.
  
  Then Pepe asks Moni if she'd like to live with him. She likes the idea, but where? How about a little apartment? She loves the idea. She's worried about her dad killing her when she tells him.
  
• The two guys in berets are wearing striped pajamas so you know they're in jail. They call Vince and sigh about how great it was to meet Candy. He says they owe him his money back.
  
• Guzman's keepers are despairing, they too think she's been kidnapped. She doesn't want Chela and Pancho to tell anybody where she is. Pancho calls Rebe: he doesn't go to work, but there is a meeting he has to go to. Why doesn't he tell her what's going on?
  
• Back to the Lopez household, where everyone wonders who's hidden in the back room. Guzman whines about her life, she never sees her family, she wants to disappear, she's missed all the birthdays and homework and graduations, she's tired of hotels.
  
  Chela tries to cheer her up. Pancho says he'll call her mother Sylvia, but she doesn't want her mom to see her this way. She decides she wants to stay with them a while.
  
• Why did Abejita's white puppies turn brown? Melita tells Temo she wants to be like golfer Lorena Ochoa, who's coming to Avon for the important meeting. Temo talks soccer.
  
• Enzzo tells Arnoldo he likes a woman! But he can't tell Vince because he's made so much fun of him about Candy. "She's very attractive, but of 'another level.' "
  
• Chela and Pancho chat with Guzman about family. She was alone a lot when she was little because her mother was famous too, I guess. She whines more about what she never got. She wants to use "tu" with them, and to hide for a few days and live normally, she'll pretend to be her own sister (except for the tattoos).
  
  Pancho says he doesn't want to lie to his kids, but it's too late anyway, they were all eavesdropping. He tells them to tell nobody they're harboring a superstar. They give her one of their famous bear hugs.
  
  Chela gossips with Guzman, who upon figuring out that Chela's in love with her brother-in-law who's in love with somebody else, wisely suggests: "Why not find some other guy? They're makin' them thangs every day." [Quote from the Sweet Potato Queens.]
  
• Big meeting. Vince is furious to see Sandrucha there; she tells him she has a new position courtesy of the Pres. Temo shows up to get an autograph from the golfer. The golfer's manager happens to have one and gives it to Temo, whom he finds cuter than I do.
  
  Vince is indignante, even more so when he realizes Temo wants the photo for Meli! A big fight almost breaks out in front of the perplexed golfer-manager, who then invites Temo to the dinner (and Temo invites Meli).
  
• Ana and Lupe, in a gratuitous plunging-bathing-suit scene, see on TV that there is a big fuss being made about Guzman's supposed kidnapping. Guzman rolls her eyes when they tell her.

Tomorrow: a lot of policemen with guns come to rescue Guzman from Pancho.

Labels: familia

I'm glad I got to see chato get sprayed with the hose in the recap... he brought new meaning to the term tirar perros, as the lines he uses on the maids are some real dogs.

Melly and Temo plan to steal Abeja's puppies to spare them from "sacrifice" (maybe Pina is a closet satanist).

At the scene of the inept carjackers, Pancho yells at his "hija," la burra, to get out of there (the carjackers have a van dangling above her). Negotiations with the crooks aren't going so well, but then Candy shows up. She brings her massive resources into play to distract and enchant the crooks into dropping the guns. Meanwhile Pancho gets in the truck and prepares to make his exit. The bumbling fools are so enchanted by their "aztec princess" that they don't realize they didn't get the money till Lopez & co. make their exit and the cops show up.

Abeja's puppies appear to be at least the size of their parents. Temo hides them under the table while Melly faces off with Pina (Pina and Melly are my favorite pair on the show). Things are getting tense when a dog barks, and Pina is about to look under the table when Ado limps in, sobbing. As if only noticing now, Pina remarks that this is a house of locos.

Chela, in a hot dress and heels, has trouble setting aside the apron. She tells herself that the habit doesn't make the nun, and no ill will come of this. Candi bursts in, sees the flowers, and snatches the notes. She explodes with glee when she finds that she was right about Transeti! They can't help but discuss his muscles, and Candi tries to insert the idea that she can seduce.

Elena has decided to be a villain with no motivation other than self-pity. She's also not a very effective villain.

Pancho, looking forwards to some "alone time" with Rebe, has another moment of consultation with Laurita's photo. He confesses that he's nervous about what he's about to do. He thanks her for a second chance at love. The candle flares, which he takes as a sign of permission.

Ana, grossly, thanks Arnold for the kissing lessons. Gushes about Freddy. After she leaves, he reveals that he's IN LOVE WITH HER EEWWWW.

Pancho shows up at Rebe's in a suit, with roses and a mushy note. She says he smells delicious. He pulls out a cd and it's the theme song! Anyway, they have a fancy meal (where'd the waiter come from?).

Melly has rescued the pups from cruella. They're at Pancho's and Ana is about to leave for exfoliation when Freddy shows up.

Moni is hanging out on the street at night, discussing how weird shit has become, when an overdressed, over-made-up lady shows up and, bizarrely, immediately recognizes her as "mija." Craaazy alert. She could just as easily be some random crazy, but Moni "has a feeling." The lady suddenly disappears, and the friend begins to doubt MONI'S sanity.

Pancho and Rebe are just getting down to business when the doorbell rings. Pancho: "don't tell me you ordered pizza..." It's Arnold, with news about Ana. Pancho walks in with his shirt half off to yell at him for interrupting. Then he has a little jealous fit at Rebe for her supposed past with Arnold.

Freddy sees the pups and threatens to tell Pina, but Melly holds her ground and blackmails him (threatening to tell Pina that her nene is dating a Lopez).

Pina answers the phone, "hola, mansion irabien," because "desaparicion" isn't there. Yuyi calls from the opera and wants to talk to melly, but she's not there.

Freddy shows up at the Lopez' to apologize to Pepe, which he actually does kind of nicely. Pepe accepts, which must have seemed like a waste of potential drama to the writers

Pina calls for Ado, who lacks her normal enthusiasm. She's lovesick for Pancho's fat chauvinist friend, and Pina is weirdly sweet, admitting that Ado is like her only friend.

But Pina says Chato is a fool with the boots nose. Why is Ado this way about such a jerk?

Uh-oh, transeti calls to "locate Chela." Chela is doing her Avon work at a friend's house. The friend says she looks radiant, with a very special light in her eyes. "but, you haven't had more signals from above?"

Pancho and Rebe are back to smooching but still won't hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. How long can they drag this out?

Chela just about jumps out of her pants with rage when Transeti shows up with chocolates. She still remembers when he tried to kick them out of their home: "don't forget that I don't forget." She won't let him give her a ride home, despite the lightning.

Enter a new and wildly random subplot: a strange, half-naked, tattooed lady (who appears to be the freaky-dancing singer of theme song) in the rain, running in terror with dripping makeup. Meanwhile, Pancho, struggling with a tire on the Burra in the rain, surely wishes he'd stayed in with his hot girlfriend. He sees this bizarre apparition get hit by a car and rushes to her aid.

Pancho takes her to a sketchy doctor buddy of his (who is quite a sight in his undershirt and stethoscope. He applies the eeg sensors, and that's all for part 1 of tonight's show.

Labels: familia

Labels: no-podia