Caray, Caray!

We begin today’s adventures with a replay of the showdown between Marfil and Max in Emilio’s apartment. Max has had it. Faux Marfil, Real Marfil, it makes no difference. He doesn’t like any of her personalities. They’re all Bad News in FM Shoes. She will never forgive the offense, and he and Diana will Pay Dearly. After Marfil’s departure, Emilio comes out to apologize for having called her. And if Max wants to move in, he’s welcome to. Max would love to – the Mansion has become Hell.

We cut to Casa Soriano to replay the scene between Granny M and Gaby. Little Doormat is in tears. She didn’t have a good time playing at the beach with Kique because Larry showed up and spoiled everything. Granny M is all sympathy. Ay, how Gaby loves him! Ay, how she suffers because of him! Enter Diana, with a chipper “Buenas noches” and an extra spring in her step. She’s had a fabulous first day back on the job. She all but skips into the bedroom to say hello to Max, Jr. Diego is sitting glumly in his wheelchair. He doesn’t respond to her kiss on the temple. After she tells Little Maxi how she missed him, Diego asks if she’s going to tell him that she met his real father at the hospital. Diana is impactada.

At Bar de Paco, Ladies’ Night is in full swing. We know Caramelo suspects that Pancholón is unfaithful to her, yet she is happy that the place is full of potential rivals drunk enough to get a charge out of his grade-Z imitation of Sólo Para Mujeres. This has cat-fight written all over it. Enter Sylvia, Camila, Peyote, Barbie, and Midge. Sylvia’s watered-down Nina Hagen look easily takes the spotlight away from the other Sex Kittens’ more conventional office/church/nightclub attire. Paola takes one look at Pancho gyrating onstage, shaking his moneymaker, and she’s off. Before he knows it, she’s on him like a lamprey, kissing him with mad, passionate abandon. The crowd goes wild. Camila asks Nina/Sylvia where Paola knows that naco from. He’s a naco, but he’s smokin’! Sylvia replies. Camila recognizes him and his backup strippers as the jewelry smugglers they tried to sell Octavia’s bracelet to. She stomps out. Sylvia doesn’t care, she’s already partying down with a bottle of tequila. Close-up of Peyola and Pancho making out onstage, under a spotlight.

Back at Casa Soriano, Diego tries to continue his interrogation, but Diana isn’t in the mood for this argument again. Thank you, Diana. She’s going to change and bathe before dinner. Exit Our Heroine. Diego gets that “Damn, but it sucks to be me!” look on his face.

Close-up of Marfil dialing the phone. What do you know, she’s calling Diego to tell him that Max admitted to kissing Diana at the hospital. And we all know what serious business kissing is. Anyway, she goes on with the usual “they’re mocking us, etc.”, getting increasingly agitated. She calls Diana una cualquiera. Diego doesn’t like that, but Marfil doesn’t stop there. She proves to be as venomous as Faux Marfil, and after elaborating on Max and Diana’s “affair”, she ends by hissing that Diego’s waiting in vain for Diana’s love. All Diana feels for him is pity. Diego can’t take any more and hangs up. Pobre de Diego.

Back at Paco’s. Jorge, dressed like the leather dude from the Village People, watches the spectacle taking place onstage. He’s not digging it. Caramelo would die if she saw it. Cut to our three Sex Kittens. Barbie remarks that Paola has fallen low. Sylvia would love to fall so low, he’s yum-yum-yummy! (I hope that’s the tequila talking.) En fin, Pancholón finally manages to pry off his fierita. Is she crazy? he asks. (Well, she’s a fiera. She’s wild. She’s unpredictable. She’s on drugs.) Peyote grabs the mike. Isn’t her boyfriend super-cool? Caramelo, standing in the front row, does not think either one of them is. She’s on her own turf here and has no qualms about going after Peyola. It would be great if they did the whole cat-fight in slo-mo, with a Sinatra clone on the soundtrack: “Those fingers in my hair…That evil fiera glare…Those wicked teeth you bare…It’s bitchcraft…” As it happens, we get a second or two of slo-mo hair-pulling, then a few seconds of real-time hair-pulling, and then we go back to the Little House in the Barrio.

Granny M and the girls are sitting around after dinner. Granny asks why Diego didn’t eat. He was mad, Diana explains. He doesn’t want her going back to work at the hospital. Granny shows what an up-to-the-minute kind of gal she is as she dishes out sage reflections on a woman’s role in the 21st century. Gaby applauds her for being so moderna. And Gaby, being a strong, proud woman of the new millennium, knows from moderna. Anyway, Diana explains just about everything that transpired between her, Max, Marfil, and Diego that day. Little Doormat says that Marfil is as evil as Octavia. Diana’s not afraid. Gaviota taught her how to protect herself. Little Doormat wishes she could feel so sure of herself. She whines a bit about her confrontation with Pilar at the beach. Diana gives her a pep talk and promises she’ll always defend Gaby. Granny beams at her nietas.

Cut to the bar, where Peyola and Caramelo roll around the stage, cheered on by the delighted crowd. Pancho dances about indecisively, not really trying to break up the fight.

Emilio’s Bachelor Pad. Max is on the couch, having a glass of water. Enter Camila, Reina de la Selva. What’s Max doing here all alone? She sits right down and begins fondling him. She tells him she just came by to pick up a few things she’d left here. Max does a chorus of “Down with Love”. Camila responds with a chorus of “Let Me Entertain You.” She wants to help him forget Diana, show him that Camila’s the woman he needs. She kisses him, and he returns the kiss. Cocktail lounge music as Camila backs him into an armchair and climbs on his lap. They kiss and kiss and kiss.

They’re still at it when we come back from commercial. Then Camila takes a break to inform Max that she’s the only woman who can make him happy. Not Diana, not Marfil. Especially not that adulterous wife of his. Buzz-kill. Our Hero pushes her off. Where’d she hear that? he demands. Marfil has a lover: Andrés Davila, Camila replies. Close-up of Max. He wipes away her kisses and looks perturbed.

The Paola - Caramelo grudge match comes to an end when the combatants are separated by Pancho’s henchman/backup strippers. He calls for applause and the audience enthusiastically obeys. Jorge is disgusted. He takes off his leather-man hat and walks out.

In Paco’s office, Gaviota says that Pancho’s having a big success, judging by the screams out there. Before the conversation runs off into one of the usual dull ruts, they are interrupted by Good Studmuffin Jorge. Caramelo is beating some woman to death out there. Paco leaps up and rushes to the rescue of his little girl. Things aren’t looking so good for Pancho’s new business venture.

Out in the bar, Pancho’s holding onto Caramelo while one of his stooges holds Peyola. Her friends are immensely entertained by this. Paola breaks free and tells Pancho “Let’s go.” He’s still got his hands full preventing Caramelo from jumping her again. “Uh, I can’t right now,” he says. Sylvia is impactada. Exit Paola, followed by Barbie, Midge, and Sylvia, who does not take her astonished eyes off Pancholón, waving goodbye as she leaves. Paco and Gaviota have taken the stage, but they’re not planning a duet of “There’s No Business Like Show Business”. No. The show is over, everybody go home. The extras are ready for lunch and make only token angry crowd noises as they shuffle out.

We return to Emilio’s where Camila tells Max she caught Marfil going at it hot and heavy with Andrés in the library at the Irascible Soirée of Shame. Marfil, of course, will deny it if he asks her. The doorbell rings and Camila goes to answer. It’s Dr. Evil, here for a few drinks, per Camila’s invitation. He needs to clear…Then he notices Max. “I didn’t know you were here.” They size each other up and swagger towards each other.

We return to the bar. Caramelo is distraught. Pancho’s been cheating on her all along, blah, blah, blah. Paco is unable to control his outrage. He grabs his no-good son-in-law by the neck and twists his head. Why is Pancho toying with his daughter? Why is he making a fool of her? Pancho bares his teeth.

And back to Emilio’s we go. Dr. Evil starts in on Diana, but Max has heard enough calumny from Ignacio. Camila throws her two centavos in. Iggy and Max argue over whose crime is more heinous, his against Diana or hers against him. Max hopes that Dr. Evil loses his license. He’s too despicable to be practicing the noble profession of medicine. Max gives Ignacio the usual final warnings, pushes past him, and leaves. Dr. Evil can’t believe he lets Max get away with that. With Octavia being called a thief in all the papers, the prestige of los Irazabal is circling the drain. Camila’s not interested. She only cares about Max getting free of Marfil. He’s her ticket out of poverty. Ignacio tells her to quit dreaming. The Irazabal empire is going to topple. They’ll be poorer than rats. Camila is impactada.

At number 10 Lullaby Lane, Diana, still wearing the grubby pink scrubs she couldn’t wait to get out of a few hours ago, is at the sewing machine. Diego wheels up. She tells him she’s just helping Granny out. He replies that she loves to project the image of the good woman, ready to help everyone, but in fact she’s unworthy to be his wife. Diego’s holier-than-thou attitude and pathetic attempts to be the king of Granny M’s little castle are getting seriously annoying. Diana seems to agree; she keeps quiet and stares him down as he says he was blind about her. Gee, Chipmunk, ya think?

Aboard the Good Ship Lollipop. Our Sleazy Studmuffin and aspiring entrepreneur, clad only in a pleather Speedo, is getting his ear twisted by Capitán Paco. Standing by, hands on hips, is First Mate Jorge. Pancho denies that he cheated on Caramelo. So why’d that crazy woman call you her boyfriend? Jorge challenges. Pancho keeps lying and finally Paco lets him go, declaring that Ladies’ Night is permanently canceled. The look on Pancho’s face is one of “Aw, man, I can’t believe this s***!” He makes one last appeal to Paco’s wallet. No go. Pancho’s disgusted by his bad luck.

And now we go to Casa Irascible. Octavia’s starting to feel acorralada. Yolanda’s worried. Octav wants to withdraw all their money and put it into offshore accounts under a variety of company names so that the police won’t be able to trace it. The police aren’t stupid, Yolanda protests, they might have frozen the accounts already. Lady O doesn’t want to hear it. She refuses to lose all her ill-gotten gains and wind up in the streets. Yolanda points out that Gaviota’s not just avenging herself, she’s avenging her daughters. As she sees it, Big Sis has two choices: Turn herself in and confess to killing Reynosa, or make a run for it. Flee? repeats Octavia, as if this is a new idea. She cocks her head like Norma Desmond ready for her close-up. Escape? she says, widening her eyes. No, it was better when Gloria Swanson did it.

Out in the salon, Marfil is hanging out by the gold velvet couch. In the background we see Max going upstairs. Then, inexplicably, he is approaching Marfil. He asks if Dr. Evil’s chauffeur is her lover. Marfil is impactada.

Back at Casa Soriano, Diana and Diego argue about Max. She can’t prevent him from coming into the hospital. Diego demands that she quit and stay home to take care of him and the baby. His plan of mooching off an octogenarian seamstress and a supermarket cashier doesn’t strike me as being all that manly. Diana’s not impressed, either. She gives him a polite but firm refusal.

Time to check in on Caramelo. She’s in Gaviota’s dressing-room, weeping over Pancholón’s betrayal. Gaviota strokes her hair and lends a sympathetic ear. Then, qué sorpresa, she blames Paola. After all, the tainted blood of los Irazabal runs through her veins. She was born evil. That Pancholón is a petty crook who lets Pancholoncito do most of his thinking doesn’t factor into it. “He doesn’t love me. He’s never loved me,” Caramelo moans. She gets up and leaves. “Los Irazabal keep causing harm,” Gaviota mutters darkly.

Pancho is now wearing wannabe leather pants and swabbing the decks. He gripes about how his brilliant money-making scheme failed. The String Quartet of Doom plays a series of frantic riffs and we suddenly get an extreme, out-of-focus close-up of Caramelo in profile. She turns to the stage and tells Pancho to leave. She wants him out of the bar and out of her life. She wants a divorce. Pancho turns on the smarm and lies away about Paola, but Caramelo doesn’t believe a word of it. He swears it’s true. Swears by whom? God? The Virgin? Acorralado, Pancho takes the offensive. No need to exaggerate, it's not that big a deal, he doesn’t have to swear by them. Paco intervenes and tells Pancho to get out like Caramelo told him. Pancho turns his fiera glare on Paco, who says the next time his daughter sees him will be in divorce court. Caramelo screams at Pancho to go and he swaggers out, angry, dangerous, and takin’ his time. He’s baaaad. Caramelo becomes hysterical and goes running into Papito’s arms. She loves him, she lost him, she hates Paola; sob, scream, repeat. Pobre de Caramelo.

After commercial, we find ourselves in Paola’s boudoir with Silvia, Barbie, and Midge. Paola hates Caramelo. Silvia rattles off a lot of nonsense about what a hottie Pancho is. Barbie, the only one in the room with more than two I.Q. digits to rub together, points out that Paola obviously isn’t the only woman in Pancho’s life. Midge didn’t even know Peyote was in love with a MDH. Peyote takes offense at that. They’ve been an item for months and tomorrow they’re getting married. Silvis is impactada. Paola can’t – he’s a thief. But he’s hot. He’s a pretty hot thief. And so on. Paola insists that her wedding remain a secret. (Don’t bet your trust fund on it, Peyola.) Barbie can’t believe that she’s going to marry him when he’s been cheating all along. Paola doesn’t care. She’s the one who got him.

Downstairs Max is still trying to get an answer out of Marfil. She turns away, unable to lie to his face, and dodges the question by claiming that Camila fabricated the story to drive them apart. He warns her that if anything proves the story true, Marfil will be out of his life in less than two seconds. Our Hero also tells her about their dire financial situation, just to eliminate any mercenary hopes she might be clinging to, then leaves. Marfil is impactada.

While Marfil ponders the horrors of being Señora Muerto de Hambre, we go to the Other Little House in the Barrio. Pancho has told Lala that Caramelo wants a divorce. He tries to con her into believing that he’s the injured party. Lala’s heard too many versions of this tale over the years. She doesn’t buy it and warns him off Paola. He keeps lying and Lala gives up, rhetorically asking why the young folk can’t be responsible like they were in her day. Once she’s out of the room, Pancho unfolds his master plan for us. Since Caramelo is going to divorce him, he’ll go ahead and marry Paola. He’ll just keep it very quiet and no one will ever accuse him of bigamy. No. His fierita is the soul of discretion. He can count on Peyola to keep their nuptials a secret. “Two wives for the price of one,” he gloats. Awesome plan, dude.

Over at the House of Seven Gables, the family, sans Paola, is having breakfast by the pool. Octavia carps about her daughter’s absence. Yolanda attributes Peyote’s late hours to the rebellious phase she’s in. Whatever. Mamá wants to propose a family outing. What do you say we all go down to the factory? Won’t that be fun? Larry’s the first to demur. Octavia chastises him for preferring trivial pursuits like modeling and acting to soiling his hands in the service of her evil empire. They have to stand united against Fedora! What is it they don’t get? They’re on the brink of losing everything! Marfil, who’s been sullen and mute up till now, says that Octavia’s right. She needs their support. Maxi’s cell phone rings. It’s Emilio, who’s looking mighty dapper this morning. I particularly like his tie. But about that phone call. The judge is coming to put the lien on the perfume factory. Max puts on his lemon face. He hangs up. Lady O asks what’s happening, and he tells her. A surge of menacing music from the Orchestra of Doom and a close-up of Octavia. She looks away from Max. She blinks. Commercial.

We take a helicopter over TeleMiami and land at the perfume factory. We see Gaviota, Diana, Gaby, a bald guy who looks like a rising young gangster, and a guy with hair who looks like he manages a car dealership. Little Doormat’s whining. She doesn’t understand why they have to be there, blah, blah, blah. Gaviota hands her the “One day you’ll understand” line and Diana reminds Baby Sis how indebted they are to Gav. Enter Emilio, who announces the imminent arrival of Octavia and Sons. Gaviota trots out the “I am the owner of this company which Octavia stole from me” speech. Emilio is impactado. Gaviota is pleased. Diana has a coy, smug little smile on her face. Little Doormat looks afraid.

Back at Psycho Manor, it’s the crack of noon and Paola is finally up and about and planning ahead. She already has on a cocktail dress, strapless white brocade, which will save her the trouble of changing when cocktail time actually rolls around in six hours. René and Silvia are on the bed. He’s on his back, with his legs pointing straight up at the ceiling. Silvia has adopted a variation of the lotus position, hands raised prayer-fashion over her head. The wig du jour is purple, and she seems to have got her freakish, antennae-like false eyelashes from Don Fernando’s drag outfit. René and Silvia try to convince Paola that marrying Pancholón is a really bad idea. Peyote claims it’s her only way out of this mausoleum. And speak of the devil, here’s Pancho. No one says anything we haven’t heard before.

While Pancho’s claiming that there’s nothing between him and Caramelo, Lala’s apologizing to Paco. He and Caramelo have come to Casa Suarez to pick up her things. Paco tells Lala straight out that her son is a canalla. She knows that but makes a sad, ineffectual attempt to defend him, anyway. Enter Caramelo, tearfully pulling a suitcase. Lala makes several attempts to dissuade her but fails. Exit Paco and Caramelo.

Back in Peyola’s bedroom, Pancho’s giving them a song and dance about Caramelo-Who’s-Just-a-Friend. Silvia still questions his honesty and brings up the bracelet fracaso. Pancho lifts her up and sets her down behind him. This gives Our Comic Sex Kitten such a thrill that she forgets what a ladronzuelo he is. He’ll be waiting out in the car. He kisses Paola goodbye and leaves. René again protests this idiotic elopement with Pancho the Naco. But Peyola won’t be swayed. Once you go nac’ you never go back. This marriage is going to be “super nice.” She’s never coming back to this hell.

Yolanda and Octavia are downstairs. Yolanda’s oatmeal-colored, short-sleeved, shawl collar sweater is doing her no favors. She looks lumpy as she advises Octavia to calm down. Octavia’s pleated pink top is infinitely more flattering. She rages that Gaviota and her daughters won’t stop at putting a lien on the factory, they’ll go after everything: House, money, halter tops, everything. Yolanda bows her head in shame. She realizes Big Sis is right, we’ve only heard this from one character or another in just about every capítulo. Octavia then says the only way out is to take Big Doormat’s advice. What advice? Yolanda asks. Jail or flight? Octavia’s decided to take option B. If she weren’t so blinded by hate, Octavia might consider the rejuvenating effect that 20 years in Big House had on Gaviota. Seriously, Gaviota takes a great close-up. Her porcelain complexion is amazing. As for Octavia, well, it’s a good thing she can still blink. Otherwise we might be asking, “Is it Pond’s or is it formaldehyde?” But I’ve wandered way off topic here. Enter Paola, toting her suitcase into Pancho’s life just as Caramelo toted her suitcase out. Silvia, René, and Nancy aren’t far behind. And where do you think you’re going? Octavia snaps. Peyote tells her. So it’s official. All her children are mixed up with the Lower Classes, nurses and housemaids and nacos. Close-up of Octavia staring holes into Paola. Close-up of Nancy, impactada. Close-up of Silvis and René, mugging. Close-up of Yolanda, looking grimly from mother to daughter. Close-up of Paola, staring holes back into Mamá. Midshot of Octavia, still immobile. Commercial.

We return to the perfume factory. Everyone has moved into Octavia’s office. Beatriz announces los Irazabal. Enter Marfil, Max, and Larry. Gaviota wants to know where Lady O is. Indisposed. That, according to Gav, is a dumb excuse when there’s so much at stake. She introduces the judge. While el juez delivers an awkward, labored little speech, we are entertained by a round of close-ups: Marfil, Max, Diana, Larry, and Gaviota. The Drums of Doom sound ominously. The factory is declared the rightful property of Fedora Garcés. The String Quartet of Doom becomes loud, frantic. Marfil can’t stand keeping her trap shut another second. It’s impossible, she cries, you can’t – Max bellows at her to shut up. Diana chimes in. “You heard your husband. We’d appreciate it if you stayed on the sidelines.” Ooh, that hurt. As the String Quartet of Doom builds to a climax, los Irazabal gape at Our Heroine, impactados.

Back at the Mausoleum, Octavia and Paola are still arguing. Octavia snatches the suitcase away with such ease that I suspects it contains nothing but bikinis and lingerie. Yolanda tries to play peacemaker, as usual, while Octavia shouts that Paola must be high. Then she snaps at René and Silvia. And what are they doing here? They’re the witnesses for Peyola’s wedding. Octavia orders them to get out. More arguing. “You never loved me… I’ll never see your bitter face again…Better the wife of a MDH than life in a golden cage…” and so on until Octavia grabs her. I’m hoping for a real cat-fight here. That extended hair-tugging match earlier was nothing more than an amuse-bouche. No such luck. Paola’s outta here. Happiness is waiting for her, while a jail cell is waiting for Mamita. She leaves. René grabs her suitcase with a quick adios to his bomboncito. Octavia begins pacing like a caged tigress. Silvia almost leaves but just has to ask Lady O if it’s true that she’s a crook? Yolanda prevents Octavia from slapping our pert señorita, and Silvia dashes out. Octavia starts up about Paola but Yolanda’s got a better grip on reality all of a sudden. Octavia needs forget about Paola and get the hell out of Dodge.

We return to the office. Judge Villalobos explains that the factory isn’t officially Gaviota’s, but Max declares that neither he nor Larry will impede the return of anything belonging to her. Marfil can’t believe this and gets a Debora look on her face. But she says nothing. I almost like Real Marfil. Bueno, Max’s declaration isn’t enough for Gaviota. She wants an admission that Octavia’s a thief. Marfil can’t contain herself. What do Max and Larry have in their veins, how can they allow such insults to Octavia? Diana, crossing her arms just like Gaviota, gets in Marfil’s face. “I told you you have no say here. You heard your husband. Everything in Octavia’s name will go back to Gaviota, no matter how much it hurts you.” Close-up of Diana, happily in touch with her inner bitch. Close-up of Marfil, thwarted and hating her guts. Close-up of Max giving Diana the furrowed brow look while Larry stares off at Gaby. Close-up of Gaviota, quite pleased with Diana. Close-up of Diana, presumably staring down Max.

I fear that TeleMiami will soon be laid to waste by the Four Mothers of the Apocalypse: Octavia, Bruna, Gaviota, and Diana, a.k.a. Vainglory, Madness, Vengeance, and Stupidity. It is a sobering thought.

Roll credits

Labels: acorralada

Alina enters the chapel and she and Emiliooo pray together.

Luba skulks around the house, then hides when a servant walks by. She finally gets into Thelma’s room. She looks all over the room, in the dark, for ‘something strong.” She finally finds Thelma’s hairbrush and takes some hair, saying to herself that this will do nicely! I don’t have any snarky comments on this because I think her putting a hex on Thelma is a great idea.

Soledad thinks that Don Max surely saw her, he’s going to tell Don Loco, Don Loco will come kill her, etc. This reminds me of a great story, if I may digress. Women (some I’m sure not all) can take the most innocuous thing and make a whole story out of it, like what Soledad just did. I had a female co-worker friend who had a huge crush on another guy we worked with. The guy had long hippie hair, we nicknamed him “Def Leppard.” It made sense at the time. Anyway, Def Leppard had just broken up with his girlfriend and my co-worker finally got him to ask her out. It went ok, but Def Leppard obviously wasn’t ready to dive into another girlfriend just yet. One day he wore a sweatshirt that said “Hawaii” on it. My friend freaked out. “One time he went to Hawaii with his old girlfriend! They must be back together! What if they are getting married?” The rest of us couldn’t believe our ears, all this from a SWEATSHIRT. From then on, anytime anyone got a little carried away, we’d bring them back down to earth with “helloooo – sweatshirt!” Anyway, Soledad’s little rant really seemed like that. Hellooo Soledad, sweatshirt!

Thelma flounces into her room, followed by Singing Aunt. SA asks Thelma if Angel died yet, Thelma said not yet. SA says great then, soon enough. Thelma thinks it is taking too long, SA asks if she’s going to kill him with her own hands? Thelma says no, some other way. Angel can’t hear anything upsetting or he’ll get worse, she likes that. Jeez this is getting so boring. I think today was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t looking forward to doing a recap. I have had it with this show. I hope to God there really aren’t 72 more episodes.

Gaspar can’t find Luba in the cave. He argues with himself if he should kill Thelma, he doesn’t want to so he can see his baby. His head hurts to think.

Vera and Nora talk about Gaspar, Nora really likes him. Great.

Emiliooo and Alina pray some more. For not being religious type, Emiliooo is laying it on pretty thick. He begs God to save Angel. He cries, aww he’s so sensitive. Whatever.

Nora reveals to Vera that she got busy with Gaspar and tells the story of how he got bumped in the head. Nora moons over Gaspar then goes to bed.

Soledad is now completely insane, she is talking to herself out loud. Don Loco is crazy, he’ll kill her, etc. There is noise and she yells out, “Who’s there?”

Emilioooo snuffles and cries some more, he tells Alina that they should keep praying. Alina stares at him like he’s a rock star. Woman wake up, he’s a f&%$^ng tool, get over it.

Max doesn’t think he saw Soledad, after all Don Loco has her locked up. The servant brings him coffee and updates him on Angel’s condition. He’s a little bit happy about it, it means the kids will have to go to Puebla and Max will be the only one in charge again.

Sexy Nurse Suzi is wearing a sweater today, but of course it’s a tight, thin, low cut, sexy sweater. Thelma is also staring at Angel, willing him to die. Orlando peeks in and tells Thelma to come, he needs to talk to her.

Soledad eats food that Adela brought her. Adela is telling her who is drunk and who is asleep. Soledad claims that things are ok with her.

Thelma can’t believe that Emiliooo is praying, she and Orlando agree that Alina is responsible for it.

Emilioooo and Alina finally stop praying and sit down. Emiliooo asks her if she loves him and he wants the truth. Um, hasn’t this been covered? LIKE A MILLION TIMES? Cripes these people can’t remember what happened five minutes ago. She doesn’t answer in .005 seconds so he says “Answer me!” Yeah Emiliooo women LOVE that. She says yes, she loves him, but they can’t be together because he is married. Yawn. I may have said that this show is boring me to death, but perhaps I had dozed off and just dreamed it. I’ll say it again – this show is getting more boring by the second. Aren’t things supposed to heat up as time goes on?

Rosita’s dad thought bubbles Don Max taking credit for raping Rosita as he gets drunk and cries. Rosita comes in and asks him what’s up. He’s upset for not standing up to Max, he thinks he’s a coward. Rosita tells him not to worry, she loves him as much as ever. Dad falls on the ground crying like a drunk cries, begging Rosita’s forgiveness.

Orlando tells Thelma that she’s stupid. Over and over. Well, you’re right Orlando, what can I say. Orlando tells her that she can’t be satisfied that Angel is in a coma, he could recover. Thelma says she knows what she has to do.

Emilioooo and Orlando are apparently too busy to ever work with their army unit, the rest of F-Troop doesn’t seem too happy about it. They come into one of the bedrooms commenting on how some here eat so well while others starve. Emiliooo’s name is thrown in with those who don’t do enough to help, along with Max.

Orlando pulls Thelma’s strings further, to the point Thelma stomps out and says that Angel has to die this very day. Orlando smiles.

Emiliooo and Alina walk through the house, Max sticks his head out and says he needs to talk with Emiliooo. Alina and her bigger by the day boobs just stand there.

Gaspar looks at the hairbrush, Luba takes it away and says “I told you, I found it. Someone must have dropped it.” Gaspar asks if she’s lying, she asks when has she ever lied to him? She orders him off to sleep. She thought bubbles how tomorrow she’s going to do whatever it is she’s going to do with Thelma’s hair.

Adela and Nora both can’t sleep so they end up in the kitchen drinking tea. Won’t that keep them up? Adela tells Nora about Soledad, they also agree that Don Loco is nuts. What the hell is with these people? Where have they been for the last three years?

Don Loco wakes up in his bed and has vision after vision of Jose and Soledad together. He says to nobody that the only way Soledad will forget about Jose is with death. He decides he’ll have to kill her. I love how in every vision Jose is grinning like "Hell yeah, I am hitting that every day!"

Alina talks to a servant, I think this is Vera. Vera tells Alina how Emilioooo has changed so much lately, Alina says Angel’s illness has taught Emiliooo some humility. Yawn. Oops sorry about that. Alina says Emilioooo is suffering so much, thinking that Angel might die. EMILIOOOO is suffering? What? He’s not the one in a coma! Emiliooo is the one who has hot chicks all competing over him. The only way he is suffering is because he is such an idiot. Alina and Vera say Angel is such a great guy, gosh I hope he doesn’t die.

A bunch of people walk with lit candles into the church. They leave their candles on an altar. What is this? We get no explanation.

A variation on the night time conversation, the difference is that this time it is in the barn. No wait, he’s not here to talk this time, he grabs Soledad by the neck and starts strangling her.

Max wants to talk about funeral arrangements for Angel, Emiliooo tells him to shut up because Angel is still alive. Emiliooo hopes for a miracle, Max says they don’t exist. Emilioooo says he’s waiting for a miracle. You already said that Emiliooo, we get the point.

Don Loco continues to choke Soledad. She calls him “Mi Amor” and he lets up and has an orange flashback of he and Soledad kissing. He says he can’t do it and leaves the barn. Soledad, surely, will stay right there, because she is infected with Sierra Escondida Stupid Idiot disease, waiting for the next time he tries to come kill her. I hate all these people. Even the victims are now choosing to stay victims.

Luba carries the mysterious Don Loco box. She says something nasty about Thelma then asks the virgin for forgiveness. She has a long conversation with the virgin about everything and everybody. She has an orange flashback of herself waiting outside with the box and Don Loco riding up on a horse. She says she’s there waiting for him, it’s about his mother, he says he doesn’t want to know anything about her. He says she did something he can never forgive. Luba says nobody told her anything about anything. Don Loco orders her to never mention his mother again, she says fine. He asks what is in the box, Luba says it is a story of life and death that he doesn’t want to know anything about. She turns around and leaves. Back in the present she thinks that if Don Loco knew what was in the box, he would never forgive her and he’d run her off.

Alina is STILL sitting and waiting for Emiliooo and Orlando approaches. He tries to sympathize with her about Angel. Orlando, like Max, emphasizes how Angel is as good as dead. Orlando tells her to trust in him and treat him like a friend.

Thelma comes back in and asks how Angel is, the doctor says he’s doing a bit better, surprisingly. He doesn’t want to say anything to Emiliooo to get his hopes up just yet, though. The doctor says he’s done all he can do, it’s up to God now. The doctor tells Suzi to come with him, she needs to rest. Suzi says she wants to stay with Angel. Thelma tells her to leave, she herself will watch Angel for a while. Thelma sits on the bed next to Angel. He has some thoughts about that he heard what they said before, he’s not in a coma, something like that.

Luba snores away, holding the box in her sleep. Gaspar sneaks past her to get out of the cave, but thoughtfully stops to tell nobody, out loud, that he’s sneaking off to go see Thelma.

Orlando says he can help Alina and her mother. He holds her hand and promises to help. Emiliooo comes up and asks what he is promising her, Orlando jumps up and he and Emiliooo puff their chests out at each other. I’m surprised they don’t both keep pissing on Alina’s leg, they are each so intent on marking their territory. Angel would be pisser #3 if he could get out of bed. Alina doesn’t help at all by looking completely guilty of something.

Thelma puts on a little one woman play, she cries that she doesn’t know what to do, Emiliooo killed Flor! No reaction from Angel. Did she think he would just pop up out of bed, or what?

After the commercial, we get to hear Angel’s deep inner thoughts. “She thinks I’m dead. I’m not. Alina is suffering.” It kind of sounds like a Mexican Incredible Hulk. “rrrRRrr Hulk not dead.” Thelma keeps it up, she says that Emilioooo will blame her and take her jewels, oh no! Emiliooo killed her! Angel doesn’t wake up.

Emiliooo and Orlando snipe at each other. Boring. Orlando offered help, Emiliooo thinks he’s up to something, they yell at each other, piss piss. Emiliooo tells Orlando that Alina doesn’t need any more help. Orlando just stands there like a fool. Alina, of course, says nothing, while these two morons decide what she does and doesn't need. Well, maybe that's ok, when she does speak up she always volunteers to go back to wherever she was most recently locked up.

We have a cloudy picture of Don Loco strangling Soledad, then Adela calling him a killer. It’s Don Loco having the vision. He is mad at himself for doing something so stupid. Just that one thing, DL? Really?

Soledad the genius says again “He’s crazy.” I hate all these people. She whines for a bit, out loud, to nobody. She is sure he will kill her.

Thelma says it is easier than killing a fly. Angel thinks that Alina can’t be dead. As Thelma leaves, Emiliooo enters with Alina. Alina goes and whispers to Angel, so of course he knows now that she’s alive. Alina cries a bit, Angel wakes up. Emiliooo, who is a GENIUS!, says “He’s out of his coma.” Hey check it out Emiliooo, the sky is blue.

Gaspar, who snuck out in the middle of the night, is now running along in broad daylight. He has pain from his injury but must soldier on to see his munequita!

Angel says he feels fine. Sure he does. Whatever. Emilioooo says he’ll get the doctor. Emiliooo asks Angel AGAIN how he feels. Give him a break you idiot. Angel says he’s tired. And a little upset. Emilioooo tells Angel how they were praying for him in the chapel. Is he trying to take credit for curing Angel? Angel says he is a but upset over something Thelma said. Emiliooo confronts her. She just looks irritated.

Don Loco is leaving, he doesn’t want Sergio to come along. DL says something about locking Soledad up tight while he goes to Mariana’s wedding. Adela tries to sneak past in the background but Don Loco stops her and wants to talk.

Thelma says she doesn’t know what Angel is talking about, Angel says she said Emiliooo killed Alina. Thelma makes some excuse, Angel says ok fine, whatever. Thelma acts indignant and leaves the room. Back in her own room, she curses Angel for causing her to possibly lose everything. Then she sees Gaspar out the window and curses some more.

Don Loco tells Adela to make sure Soledad doesn’t escape. Good thing he clarified that, I didn’t realize from being locked in a barn that she was supposed to be a prisoner. Adela asks Don Loco if he knows the guy Mariana is going to marry, DL thinks he’s just some guy looking for his sister because she’s rich. Adela says he might be a nice guy. DL won’t hear it. He says if the guy is a creep or whatever, he’s going to take his sister away someplace. Oh GREAT. Another prisoner.

Thelma gripes about Gaspar. Nothing stops him!

Alina tells Angel she’s so happy that he is ok. Emilioooo again says he’s going for the doctor, this time he actually does. Alina tells Angel there have been two miracles. The first is that Emiliooo is closer to God, the second is Angel coming out of the coma. Yes, Emilioooo is closer to God. Right. I won’t get into a religious discussion, but one tearful, desperate, session of praying makes him closer to God? Whatever. Angel is tired of crisis after crisis. WE ARE TOO, ANGEL. You are preaching to the choir. Alina says Emilioooo will take care of them and everything. Because he has done such a good job already? Sure. Angel says miracles do exist.

I thought Emiliooo was going for the doctor, instead he’s telling Max all about Angel waking up. Is this how he takes such good care of everyone? Not ever getting a doctor when he should? Max doesn’t look happy, though he claims to be. Emiliooo says he’s going to tell everyone everywhere that Angel is awake, they’ll all be so glad. Yes, I’m sure the will be, because news that the rich owner is awake will make them forget all about the fact that they are starving. Oh, and how about that doctor? Max looks very displeased about all this. “How good for Angel, but how bad for me!”

Thelma goes outside to find Gaspar. Doesn’t he know that he’s not supposed to come here? He keeps talking about his kid, she tells him to shut up. He wants a kiss but instead she yells at him, “I could kill you right now, but I won’t. Understand, you can’t come here?” All he does is ask for another kiss. She says not here, so he says where? One of the stablemen notices them talking and starts to listen in. Thelma tells Gaspar she’ll look for him later. Gaspar doesn’t believe her. The stableman is impactado, Gaspar and Thelma?

The doctor showed up, no thanks to Emiliooo. Sexy Nurse Suzi came back too. I wonder if she leaves that little nurse hat on, you know, all the time? The doctor says he can’t believe it. The doctor says now they REALLY need to go to Puebla to see a specialist and find out just what is up with Angel. Suzi says she’ll call doctor somebody or other, he’s the best, she’ll try and get an appointment. Angel starts to sulk and says he doesn’t want to talk about it now. The doctor tells them all to get out and let Angel rest.

Thelma tries to get Gaspar to leave, he doesn’t want to. She says they can’t talk here, they might be discovered. She tells him to meet her at the abandoned cabin at noon. The stableman hears everything. Gaspar hops off, happy. The stableman stares after them as they leave. He has a shirt unbuttoned down the front and a horrible moustache, he looks like a Mexican Larry from Three’s Company.

The soldiers are trying to help the poor people who were displaced by the storm. Emiliooo tells them that Angel is better. They pretend they care.

Mexican Larry is telling Vera what he heard. Is this her husband? I think I saw him before but I didn’t recognize him. She tells him not to go to the cabin at noon. He says he’ll be careful. Right.

The soldiers ride through the very pretty wilderness, it makes me want to go on vacation. The soldiers are all going back to Puebla, Emiliooo tells them good luck. The doctor is waiting, he tells Emiliooo that Angel needs to go to Puebla, but not quite yet, after he has recovered a bit and can travel. Emiliooo thanks the doctor for the medicine he gave Angel, the doctor says he didn’t do anything, it was a miracle. The now holy man Emiliooo throws up a quick prayer of thanks to God for the miracle.

Alina is in the chapel, she also thanks God for the miracle.

Emiliooo becomes more holy by the second as Alina joins him. Emiliooo goes from holy to lustful in one second, he lunges open-mouthed at Alina and they make out.

Labels: duelo

After finishing the great photo shoot, Rolando tells Gavi to get her birth certificate and he'll get the people in Paris (capital of France) to arrange for her passport and they'll fly her there.

Ofelia tells Roman that she thinks Gavi is pregnant from Rodrigo and she is certain he's such a good man that he'll want to know about the child. Roman says he's certain when they tell him he'll do the right thing and not abandon her.

When Gavi leaves to get her birth certificate, Rolando makes a call to Colette, the contact in Paris (capital of France), and tells her he hooked a country girl for her and as beautiful as she is they're going to be covered in cash.

Gavi returns with her birth certificate for Rolando. He gives them a big line about how she'll be signing a contract with the biggest and most respected modeling outfit in Paris (capital of France) and she'll make $5,000 Euros/month (60,000 pesos). The women are beside themselves with excitement. So Gavi must meet Rolando the next day at the airport in Guadalajara. He tells her to buy a dress for the flight to show off her figure "to get her through immigration and customs" easier.

That night Clara realizes she's going to be alone now. Gavi promises to write to her in care of Roman since that's the only person they can trust to keep her mail. Gavi also promises to send back half her salary once she's situated so her mother can finally stop working as a day-laborer.

When Gavi and Clara get to the airport at Guadalajara, Rolando is waiting with her passport. The picture is right, but the name is changed to "Mariana Franco Villarreal". He makes up a story that it sounds more sophisticated and is sure to get her more work. Then he introduces Colette to them and Clara tells her she's relieved to find her chaperoning her daughter--not knowing she's actually sending her little lamb into the lion's den.

Clara gives Gavi a small roll of Mexican bills to help avoid "hardships" while Rolando warns Colette she'll have to use her powers of persuasion to get Gavi to comply since the girl is skittish, strong-willed and unruly and she has no idea what this job really is all about.

Back over the ocean in London, capital of England, Rod continues to listen to Gavi's cassette tape and to pine away for her day and night. Aarón comes by and says if he didn't know about his "situation" he'd think Rod's problem was a woman. "But, hey, cheer up, Cuz."

At the hacienda, Clara tells Roman and Ofelia about Gavi's new job and why she's gone to Europe alone and that she'll be writing letters to her there. Roman promises to keep them for her. She tells them after she finishes at the grain harvesting she'll be back. Ramon tells his wife that she shouldn't worry about Gavi. She's cool-headed and strong, but once she gets an idea in her head she cannot be stopped.

Gavi and Colette finally arrive at their destination. It's a huge mansion. Up in Gavi's room, Colette pulls out a beautiful black and gold lamee dress for her to put on later that night. First she should take a bath, relax and sleep, though. She can sleep as long as she likes. (Wrong!).

Gavi thinks she's hit the jackpot when she sees those gorgeous digs and the clothes. She goes to sleep, naively thinking again about how happy and excited Rod will be when she finally tells him about their child.

Late in the evening Colette brings Albertina, one of the Latina working girls, to wake up Gavi and get her dressed. Upstairs in the dressing room, she hears one of the other Latina girls talk about the beautiful necklace one of the men just gave her after doing all the crazy little things he asked of her.

All of a sudden it hits Gavi that she's actually in some high-class hooker hotel. She immediately runs down to complain to Colette, who turns out to be the madame there, and who has already offered her to a hell of a high-paying client, not to mention the fact that she's "invested a fortune" (yeah, sure, one plane ticket and a measely finder's fee) to bring her over to Paris (capital of France).

Gavi tells Colette she's not going to sell herself to any guy because, well, because...... she is pregnant! Colette tells her fine, she'll take her to a doctor in the morning to get rid of the baby and then calls the guards to take Gavi away and lock her in her room. Gavi thinks fast and pretends to give in to Colette. She goes back up to supposedly finish getting herself dressed, but instead Gaviota throws on her jeans and boots and runs to the terraced rooftop, 6 stories up, looking for a way to escape. (She's named after a bird, so think wings, okay?)

She hides from the guards and Colette by hanging, untill they leave, on the outside of the guard rail that's covered over by bushes . Once they are gone she climbs back over it and she finds the entrance to the laundryroom. She takes a load of sheets from in there and turns them into a long rope, then escapes down it onto the street below. Eventually, worn out from running, she spends the night asleep on a parkbench.

Rod can't sleep again and tries to write her a love letter. We are treated to another sappy daydream about the two of them together and ending up in passionate kisses.

The next morning Gavi traipses one heck of a long way through the streets of Paris, "capital of France", and we get to see glimpses of Monmartre, The Louvre, The Arc de Triomphe, the Champs Elysees, The Trocadero and the Eiffel Tower. (Yep, we're definitely in Paris, "capital of France".)

Somewhere along the way, pregnant, and so, no doubt dying from hunger (as anyone of us who's ever been pregnant can appreciate) she starts to buy a ham and cheese crepe (a difficult scene for me to watch, I gotta admit). However, they won't accept the Mexican pesos and refuse to sell her anything to eat after all. (Unfortunately, street-smart as she is, she doesn't stop think to stomp her foot and ask them then how can somebody trade them for French money --or at least to go look for a bank. Aparrently back in P/pueblo she never heard of banks and bankers who know all sorts of things to do with money.)

Rodrigo calls up his little sister, Dani, to congratulate her on the premier of her Broadway show. Dani jokes to him about Aarón's designs on their granddad's fortune, but Rod doesn't seem worried since he knows Aarón doesn't know the first thing about running the hacienda. She also mentions that their Uncle Bruno and nasty Aunt Fedra will be attending her premier.

Nasty Aunt Fedra, it seems, is a snob and hates the fact that their poorer country relations are allowed to use her family's corporate jet. Aparrently Bruno sees this as an endearing trait in his wife and gives her a big smooch and hug for it.

That night Gavi walks by a restaurant and nearly passes out from her hunger and nausea. The Italian restaurant owner starts asking her in Spanish what the matter is and she bursts out in a fit of crying what all had happened to her that day. He feeds her and she tells him her story about being tricked into coming to Paris, "capital of France", to the bordello and how she had escaped from it. She tells him she needs to get to London, "capital of England", to find her Rodrigo, the father of the baby she's carrying. The restaurant owner wants to take her to make a statement to the police, but she refuses because she doesn't want anymore trouble. (Smart move, considering she doesn't have any papers now.)

Across the channel in London, capital of England, Aarón comes back to their apartment late and asks Rod to have a drink with him. Rod says no he's tired and isn't interested in drinking right then. Aarón gets bugged and says Rod has really changed towards him, and he wants to know what he did to make him act so distant.

Rod says they just see the world differently, but it is no big deal. Aggravated, Aarón starts needling Rod about his masculinity again and says, well, maybe since Rod's failed with women it's made him look for other "alternatives." Rod finally has had enough after hearing that and slugs his cousin. The two of them start wailing on each other.

Labels: Destilando

We are again treated to watching Doc Evil get in trouble with the hospital director for stealing drugs. For the first time, we are seeing Doc Evil squirm. He's actually almost pathetic as he's swearing he knows nothing about the drugs that were found in his office and the front pocket of his lab jacket. Camila is standing there impactada. Doc Evil is trying to convince the director it's all a trap, he's a professional and wouldn't be doing something so stupid. Diana walks in with that glassy-eyed stare of hers and watches the proceedings, as Doc Evil is suspended pending the outcome of the investigation. Doc Evil truly looks crushed. After the director and security cop leave, Doc Evil looks at Diana who vapidly shrugs her shoulders and walks out. Doc Evil is impactado!

Pancho tries to tell Diego about his new venture at Paco's bar, but Diego is clearly not interested. Diego still has that ghastly, ghoulish painting. Did I see a slight touch of mustard to go with the black, gray, white, and tan? I tried not to look too close at those scary images. Pancho asks Diego, who is clearly morose, what's wrong. ***Come folks, let's all say it in unison—D-I-A-N-A*** Pancho tells Diego he ought to be doing a better job of keeping the little woman in line. I think he suggested hitting her, if I'm not mistaken. Now there's some advice to respect! At any rate, Pancho is trying to coach his brother on the fine art of controlling women when the doorbell rings. It's Marfil and Bruno. Marfil announces that Max and Diana are deceiving him.

Max appears at Emili-Oh's apartment, ordering Emili-Oh to fix him a drink of anything available. He wants to get drunk. Emili-Oh points out it's 11 in the morning and too early to get drunk. Max slams the drink and demands another. He dramatically announces he wants to get drunk…to forget his life is porquería. (The dictionary says porquería means, filth, dirty trick, crud, junk food, douchebag, dirtbag. Take your pick. Personally I like "junk food" because it's lunchtime.)

Luscious and Little Doormat are sitting on the ledge at the beach. Luscious is asking Gaby to move back into the mansion so they can be together. "Together?" asks Gaby incredulously. "I thought you wanted us to get divorced so you and Pilar can be together." L—"Pilar doesn't interest me. I've missed you and think about you every day. I am crazy in love with you!" Just as Luscious is moving in for a kiss, and I'm about to get some satisfaction from this pair of star-crossed lovers, Kike shows up and ruins everything. Kike yells at Larry to leave Gaby alone. Poor Little Doormat, will she ever get to kiss Luscious again? I'm sure routing for her!

Back to the boring scene between Marfil and Diego (with Bruno and Pancho as witnesses). Marfil says Diego's wife is an adulterer and a hypocrite, who is having an affair with Max behind Diego's back. Diana doesn't love Diego, she just pities him. Pancho tells her to quit agitating his brother and leave. Diego slides nicely into his victim role and dramatic music swells in the background. Diego then does his best imitation of "The Thinker."

Back to the scene among Luscious, Gaby, and Kike. I swear they were talking faster than a 33 rpm record set at 78 (for all us old folks out here). I think Kike was trying to convince Gaby that Larry is just using her to get back at Pilar for standing him up. Larry tells Gaby not to listen to Kike. He loves her and wants her to come back to the mansion where he will present her to the family and make them give her the respect she should have had all along. Poor Little Doormat doesn't know who to believe.

Back to Marfil telling Diego he's a cuckold, Diego getting crankier, Pancho telling Marfil and Bruno to leave. Blah, blah, blah. Marfil walks out after announcing that Max and Diana are making jokes out of her and Diego. As Pancho is pushing them out the door, he refers to Bruno as a scarecrow. Bruno pinches Pancho's bicep and says something about, "This scarecrow could be your grandmother!" They finally leave. Diego then says "I knew it! I knew it! Diana is deceiving me with the father of her son!" and starts on his usual tirade.

Max is now drunk and whining about how miserable his life is. He wants to go to a bar and drink some more. Emili-Oh tells him they can be roommates; he has an extra room now that Sylvie and Camila are gone. Max slurs about how he lost Diana, his mother is a lying, cheating, sea hag who managed to send an innocent woman to jail, and his father is a killer. Oh, it sucks to be Max! He tells Emili-Oh he just wants to die!

Big Doormat and Octave are re-hashing the usual, when Lala interrupts them to say the police are there with an order to search the house.

Doc Evil is grabbing Diana's arm as she's walking away. He accuses her planting the drugs to get him in trouble. Diana reminds him of his past actions against her. Doc Evil is furious. Diana calmly tells him she is going to destroy her enemies one by one, and he's already beginning to fall. She walks away and Doc Evil stands there seething.

Larry is still professing his sincerity in wanting Gaby to move back to the mansion. Kike is basically saying you had your chance, you blew it. "Gaby is with me now." Gaby pipes up and sadly tells Larry she came to the beach because Kike invited her. She doesn't want to move back to the mansion. "Trog-the-Neanderthal" tries the unsuccessful, "I'm ordering you to return to the mansion with me! I'm your husband!" Little Doormat looks apologetic. Kike takes Little Doormat's hand and walks her away. Trog looks crushed and ready to cry. Never fear, Pilar is all too ready gloat that he's been stood up again. Dramatic music plays.

The police have shown up with a search warrant. Octave is furious! "I am a woman of high society! You can't do this!" Alas, they can. They tell her they're looking for the gun that killed Reynoso. Peyote walks in looking like Daisy Duke in her little midriff top and denim mini-skirt. Or is it Daisy Mae from Li'l Abner. Hard to differentiate.

Andres and Camila are discussing Diana taking revenge on Doc Evil. It's only a matter of time until she comes after them. Diana walks up and Camila pushes her and accuses her of setting up Doc Evil. Diana challenges her to "Prove it. I learned from you!" Diana tells them they are both high on her list of enemies as well, and walks off. ***Diana seems too bland and clueless to actually be taking vengeance. What a goofy plot line!***

Max is still babbling about Diana and the baby. Emili-Oh looks bored. I know I am.

Kike is filling Little Doormat's head full of lies about Luscious. He used her, etc. Little Doormat is having a hard time accepting it, but true to her name, seems to believe what Kike is telling her.

Octave flashes back to throwing the gun in the water at the marina. She tells herself no one will ever find the murder weapon. After a 30-second search, the uniformed officer tells the detective he couldn't find the gun. Octave says the search was unjust. The detective says he was just following procedures. These teleMiami cops aren't remotely like any of the real Miami homicide detectives from A&E's "The First 48." I love those guys! At any rate, Peyote asks Octave if she killed Reynoso. Octave tells Peyote to go to her room. Octave then tells Lala and Nancy to go to the kitchen. Peyote tries to object but Octave tells her "multiplicate por cero" and leave.

Diana tells F/G that she followed her instructions regarding Doc Evil and it all worked out as planned, however she doesn't feel right about it. F/G tells her she's doing what needs to be done. F/G is as psychotic as Octave; those two deserve one another!

Marfil announces to Bruno she's going to the hospital to talk to Andres about the scandal with Max. Bruno asks if she should come along, but Marfil firmly states "NO!" Bruno still can't figure out if this is Marfil or Debora.

Diana is talking to The Virgin and apologizing for being a spiteful wench who is taking revenge on all the people who've "done her wrong." ***Correct me if I'm wrong, but I find it hard to believe The Virgin would condone Diana's activities.***

Max is lying on Emili-Oh's sofa dreaming of Diana. He keeps calling out her name while their theme song plays. Flashbacks to happier days. . .

Pancho tries to get Diego to drink some "sugar water" to calm his nerves. Pancho basically tells Diego "I told you so! You never should have married Diana. You need to hate her!" Diego snivels that he's tried but he can't do it. He knows he should, but he loves her with all of his soul.

Marfil shows up at the hospital and sees Andres. Andres wants to know if she's his sister-in-law or wife. Andres finally figures out he's talking to the real Marfil and wants to know what happened to Debora. Marfil can't be bothered with exchanging niceties. She wants to see Diana NOW—no one is going to make a fool out of her! In walks Diana. . .

Caramel is telling Jorge how she wants the bar set up for Ladies' Night. Paco walks in and is talking on the cell phone. Apparently he wants to buy a bar in Key West. Caramel overhears the conversation and becomes very excited. Now Pancho can run one of the bars. Paco nixes that idea; he still doesn't trust Pancho. Caramel's says Paco is underestimating her brainiac husband. Paco just hopes that "Ladies' Night" doesn't end in a scandal.

Pancho answers his cell phone. It's Peyote saying, "Pancho, take me away!" He says he can't because right now he's with his brother, who needs him. Later on he's working at his "Fath—I mean friend's bar" and can't get away. Good save on Pancho's part; Peyote is too upset to realize he almost said "Father-in-law's bar." She hates her family and living at the house is miserable. She needs him. Peyote then reminds him of their wedding the following day. "You're not going to stand me up are you?"

Marfil and Diana are trying to threaten each other. What a lame scene. Emili-Oh calls Marfil to say that Max is at her apartment drunk. Marfil says something about making love to Max and Diana walks off. I didn't fully get the exchange, but I don’t think it really matters.

Peyote tells Yolanda she's going out for the evening alone. Yolanda thinks Peyote should go with Rene. He's a good man. Yolanda then starts pointing out his qualities. Peyote isn't interested. I think Peyote tells Yolanda to quit listing his qualities. If Yolanda thinks so much of him, she should marry him.

Octave answers the phone in her room. ***Did I mention Octave is wearing some gold lamé top? The lamé is lame!*** It's F/G saying, "It's me, your worst nightmare! Start packing your bags because a judge is going to evict you from MY house!" Octave is impactada and throws the phone on the bed.

It's Ladies' Night at Paco's Bar. There are more women in the audience than people at that dopey party at Psycho Mansion. There are maybe 20 women in the audience! Caramel and Pancho are doing their best to get the crowd all fired up. Finally the male strippers come out. Unfortunately, we only get to see them for three seconds before we cut to Paco's office where he's telling F/G he's thinking of buying a bar in Key West and wants her to go with him to check it out. It could be a 2-week vacation for them. Of course, F/G is too caught up in her own selfish endeavors to even think about leaving Miami. Caramel bursts into the office at this point to tell Paco the place is jumping and the night is going to be a huge success thanks to Pancho's idea!

Marfil shows up at Emili-Oh's apartment to claim her husband. He is still passed out on the sofa. As Marfil wakes him up, Max asks "What happened?" "That's what I want to know!" yells Marfil. Max tells her he has a headache and to leave him alone. Marfil accuses him of going to the hospital to see Diana. Max says he can go anywhere he likes and there's nothing Marfil can do about it. He then repeats he just wants to be left alone! Marfil has tears streaming down her face; she can't believe Max has left her for that tramp. Commercial break!

Back to Max and Marfil. Max (still in that nasty pink top) is defending Diana and telling Marfil how much he loves Diana. Marfil threatens to go to the hospital and have her fired. Max goes on to say there is a huge chasm between Marfil and Diana. Diana is "light and clarity," while Marfil is "darkness and misery." Marfil is furious she is being compared to Diana. Max tells her to leave.

We have a brief glimpse of the strippers before the camera pans to Camila, Sylvie, and their posse. Sylvie seems to have recovered from her embarrassment, and is now sporting a wig that looks like it's made out of fiber optics. It sticks up and out, and I half expect the ends of the strands to have lights. Camila looks like Sheena, Jungle Fiera, in her short leopard print dress and knee high go-go boots. Peyote is with them. Suddenly Peyote recognizes the Master of Ceremonies. It's Panchalon!

Max and Marfil are still fighting, but thankfully, Marfil is lowering her voice versus screeching. Max tells her again to leave. Marfil says it's Emili-Oh's apartment and he can't make her. Max announces that he lives there now and orders her once again to get out. Marfil says, "Fine. I'm going. But you and Diana are going to be sorry!" Marfil finally walks out and Emili-Oh apologizes to Max for calling Marfil. Max says, "Don't worry about it, buddy." Emili-Oh wants to know if it's true that Max is moving in. Max tells him Psycho Mansion is a true inferno. At this moment, however, he wants to be with his family.

Granny M walks into the living room and wants to know why Gaby looks so sad. Didn't she have a good time at the beach? "Yes," says Gaby. Then she adds, "More or less. I saw Larry!" Granny M is asking how long Gaby must suffer because of Larry. Just as Granny M is trying to soothe Gaby, Diana walks in all smiles. Granny M wants to hear all about her first day on the job. ***I didn't realize this was day one. Now I REALLY have a problem with Diana setting up Doc Evil. Why would you do something so stupid on your first day on the job? Plot holes wide enough to sail a cruise ship through!*** At any rate, Diana wants to see the baby before telling them all about her day. Diego is in the room still looking morose as always. Diana is fawning over the baby. Diego wants Diana to tell him about seeing her baby's father at the hospital.

Credits roll.

Labels: acorralada

Labels: Zorro

~~This recap is late, but sometimes there are mix-ups. At least the recap is done now for anybody who wants to read it below. Patience is a virtue, so thanks for having shown us you are virtuous!! ~~


Clara tells Gavi she told her so: nothing happens like it does in the novelas. Rich Rod may have promised her the Virgencita's pearls for all it matters. There's no way he's gonna come back for her, so better just forget him.

Everyone of the family at the hacienda says their good-byes to Doña Pilar and leaves for Europe. Life returns to normal for a while. Over the next few weeks Gavi and Rod have non-stop adolescent daydreams about each other.

One day a month or so later, Rod is listening to Gavi's recording when errant Aarón arrives with his current English chippie, Fergie. (I have to wonder about the choice of names they gave this hooker!) The brut immediately insult's Rod's choice of music and strides over to the tapeplayer like king cock (as in rooster), rudely pulls it out and pitches it against the wall. Rod quickly retrieves it and tells him to leave his mitts off his stuff. Aarón tells him to play it when he's not around, then .

A couple minutes after, reticent Rod cools down and remembers to tell his jerkwad cousin that Minnie's been calling for him. So Aarón gripes and then tells him to take care of Fergie (or rather, to let her take of him) while he calls Minerva back in Rod's bedroom. When Rod tells him to back off and that he wants nothing more to do with hookers 'cause he's been there and done that, Aarón insults his manhood and suggests he get used to being celibate. Rod tells him that it's his problem, to go to Hell and then leaves the room.

Aarón then gets comfie on the couch with Fergie and calls his "beloved" while friendly Fergie massages his chest for him. He complains to her about his returning being too far off as well as the wedding for her to get so involved in all these preparations. She explains how these things have to be done way in advance. (Uh, ya-aah!) Aarón quickly changes the subject to ask her if she's taken the fertility tests. Minnie blows her stack asking him if he wants a baby-maker or a wife. (What do you expect, dear Minnie, when making deals with the devil?) He tells her, "Both, of course."

The day before finally leaving for their next job of the season, Gavi returns to the tree in the agave field where she and Rod made love and thinks about him returning to her as he promised. Rod, on the other side of the ocean, is rolling around in bed having [steamy-passion] dreams about Gavi.

The next day Clara takes a bouquet of flowers to Don Amador's grave and says good-bye. She asks him to set aside a place next to his in heaven for her and leaves. Roman chats with her after and assures her that nobody will touch her hut; he tells her Don Amador told him to make especially sure to have work there at the hacienda for her and Gavi every year. The only thing he didn't have for her this time was the extra cash he used to give her, but Clara tells him not to sweat it. They'll be fine.

Rod meets Dani at Heathrow airport during her layover to New York City where her tryouts/rehearsals are being held. They talk about Aarón's "proving his skills as Don Juan" and what poor Minnie has waiting ahead for herself by marrying him. Rod tells her about his deep love for Gavi and how he plans to marry her even though the family might scream to high heaven about it all. Dani is happy he's found the love of his life and says there won't be a problem with their parents, tho' Grannie Pilar will definitely read the riot act. They are both happy he's found out he's not "wired wrong". He tells her it was simply a matter of being deeply in love.

Gavi feels nauseous at seeing her mom eat Ofelia's tacos. (Ruh-roh!) Mama Clarita's antennae go straight up and she asks Gavi if she and Rodrigo fooled around. Gavi admits they did, but that he's promised to come back and marry her next year. Clara tells her she was surprisingly foolish after saying for years she'd only give herself to the man most deserving. (I guess that meant the man she marries.) Now Gavi betrays her and goes and gives herself to a man she's known for only a few days! To make things worse, it was to a Montalvo.

Clara sniffs that all men are the same. "This is what they tell dummies like you to get them to fall for them." So Gavi gets angry and asks her mother, "Like my father? A man whose name I don't even know? Who was he, Ma?" Clara refuses to answer and simply shakes her head. She tells her she was mother and father to her and that should be enough. Gavi apologizes afterwards.

They decide to go to the community free clinic there in P/pueblo to see if she's really pregnant. She is. Gavi is excited and feels that Rod will want to know he's going to have a child and so they return to the hacienda to ask Roman for either his address or a phone number as Young Mr. Rodrigo had asked her to write him. Since Roman hasn't got it he calls up to the hacienda but only gets the house maid. Doña Pilar is at the beach for a few days. Roman then calls his wife, Ofelia, for help. She cannot and says this is a bit strange for them to ask. Roman lets them stay in the hut for the night while they decide their next step.

That night Roman tells his wife well, they were pretty close while Young Mr. Rod was visiting. Ofelia says that could only mean bad news for Gavi.

Mini and Isadora get together for drinks. Issie asks her if she doesn't feel a bit uncomfortable marrying Aarón knowing that they're doing it hoping she gets pregnant only in order to insure he wins his granddad's fortune? Minnie is happy to do it 'cause she's "in luhhhv" and figures it's a fair price to pay to get the man she wants. Issie's eyebrow goes up. (Hmmmm.)

Pilar and Rod's parents think Minerva has gone off the deep end over this wedding and cannot believe how Aarón had her get fertility tests first. (Hey, with a will like that, it sure makes sense to me!) They begin to discuss Rod maybe making Felipe a granddaddy first instead. "With all those women in that big city," Doña PIlar asks, "why doesn't he find somebody to marry?" His mom says he's a country sort of guy, and his daddy says if he does decide to settle down there at the hacienda it will be most likely with someone who loves the country life as much as he does. Doña Pilar asks who in the world that young woman might be? (Uh, dunno....but we cut to a scene of Gavi and Clara walking through P/pueblo towards the hotel.)

Clara and Gavi go looking for James to get Rod's address but they find out too late that he's left and didn't leave any forwarding address. That shifty photographer, Rolando, finds the two of them discussing their problems; now he has his angle. So he tells Gavi that if she lets him take pictures of her she can go to Paris (capital of France) to become a wealthy fashion model. Gaviota, our landlocked seagull, decides this may be her way of getting to Europe and crossing over the ocean eventually to London, "capital of England", to find Rod and to tell him personally about their child.

Rod and Gavi continue to daydream about each other. (Way too many of these adolescent daydreams for my taste. FF>> puhleeeese!!)

Back at their little hut Gavi explains to her mother her plan and shows her the map and how close the cities are to each other. Once she's in Paris, "capital of France", she'll find a way to get to London, "capital of England", to the university there and she'll look for Rodrigo. If she doesn't find him after a couple of months then she'll turn around and come back home. At least, she says, she will have a clean conscience for having tried to look for him. This seems to calm Clara enough to agree to the plan.

Sanjuana looks for Hilario and tells him she's broken off with Gelacio and asks him to take her to the stockade area for a good time.

Gavi and Clara arrive at Rolando's to take her photos. Agripina, the neighborhood gossip, notices as they go in and shakes her head like she's seen this all before. Inside, Rolando tells Gavi that she has to go into the studio by herself so Clara sits impatiently in the office to wait for her.

Roland asks Gavi to think about the man she loves while posing, and when Gave gets carried away imagining their being together, he snaps some really seductive pictures.

Labels: Destilando