Caray, Caray!

Max is reading Octave-and by default Yolanda-the riot act for treating Diana and Gaby so poorly. "Even though Diana was a nurse, but you treated her like a servant!" Yolanda says there must be some mistake. "No mistake," says Max. "They've been treated horribly, but in fact, they are the true owners of Psycho Mansion. The Irascibles are thieves!"

Pancho and Diego are chatting in the garden when Gaby and Diana arrive. Pancho, on behalf of his stalker brother, asks Diana where she's been. Was she with Max? Diana says "Of course not!" Gaby pipes up that the two of them have been together the whole time. Pancho doesn't believe it, and tries to incite a riot by stirring up his brother. Diego tells Diana she's not allowed to leave the house (which is Granny M's house by-the-way) unless Pancho accompanies her. Diana asks, "What is this, the middle ages?" Pancho then riles up Diego even further by saying Diana is hiding something and playing Diego for a fool with her lies. Diana finally walks away from the two barbarians.

F/G, Paco and Bar Stud Jorge are discussing F/G's good fortune in finding her daughters. "I had a feeling they were my daughters," says F/G who apparently has 20-20 hindsight. "What are you going to do now?" asks Paco. F/G--"I am now going to really, really unleash the worst of plagues upon the Irascible family. The worst of my vengeance is about to commence." F/G goes on to say how she is now arising from the ashes.

Pancho confronts Diana in Diana and Diego's bedroom. The two of them are now alone in there. He accuses Diana of seeing Max. Vapid look from Diana.

Max is still yelling at Octave about the Irascible family's sordid past (stealing F/G's perfume factory, fortune, killing F/G's husband, stealing F/G's children, and framing F/G for a murder she didn't commit, for you new viewers out there.) "This whole family is a sham. As for you Auntie, you are mired in this scandal as well!" Yolanda sobs that she only helped because she had to be faithful to her sister, Max needs to let the past go because he's driving his mom crazy. Octave tells Max that everything he's said is true, but now that he knows about the past, he now needs to help protect the family. "I will NEVER help you!" shouts Max righteously.

Pancho is continuing to confront Diana in her bedroom. She's the disgrace of the 'hood. Diana won't look at him, however she keeps denying having seen Max and tells Pancho she's tired of his accusations. She's everything BUT convincing with her lame excuses. Finally she tells Pancho she needs to rest. Pancho leaves the room with a dire warning. "I can't prove it yet, but if I find out that you've seen Max, you have no idea of what I'm capable. I won't let you make a joke out of my brother!"

Debora is ranting to Bruno. She's mad that Max wants nothing to do with her because of Diana. Bruno points out that Diana is the least of their worries right now. What are they going to do about Andres? Andres is going to ruin all their plans. Debora calls Andres a parasite. Bruno suggests Debora and Max move somewhere far away. Debora replies there's nothing she'd like better, but Max the idiot refuses to leave. Bruno tells Debora she'd better come up with something.

Max is still yelling at Octave about all the evils brought upon F/G and her daughters. Yolanda tries to calm him down. Max refuses to help Octave maintain the family's ill-gotten spoils. He calls Octave a disgrace and Octave slaps him, accusing him of putting Diana before his own flesh and blood. Max stomps off. Yolanda tells Octave it was a mistake to frame F/G and steal her fortune. Octave tells Yolanda to quit being so hysterical – she (Octave) is not afraid of F/G and plans to destroy that trash once and for all.

Diego rolls into Diana's bedroom and wants to know what happened between Diana and Pancho. Diana says it was nothing. "Don't worry. Nothing happened." For once Diego wasn't throwing something or ranting. I'm sure this won't last long.

Max walks into his room and Debora sneaks up behind him in an amorous mood. She's wearing F/G's red ten-inch wide cummerbund and some slinky red and white top. In fact, I think I've seen Diana wear this belt as well. You've got to give Wardrobe credit for helping to contain production costs. Max clearly is still not in the mood. "Did you know that Diana is pregnant?" Debora is impactada.

Yolanda is still crying. Octave tells her to suck it up and quit being so stupid. F/G is never going to get her former life back.

Rene is in the garden. After getting caught by Yolanda rubbing a cherub's butt on Tuesday's episode, he has now managed to get his hand stuck in the mouth of a lion statue. Only Rene. Of course Yolanda catches him this time as well. He sees that she's crying and wants to know what's going on. Yolanda tells him it's nothing, her eyes are just burning. Rene produces a handkerchief and wipes her eyes; he doesn't like seeing her sad. She's about to leave but Rene convinces her to set a spell. They can talk about politics, finances, movies, UFO's. . .anything. His antics and dorky behavior are apparently endearing to Yolanda, who has now forgotten she was crying just two minutes prior; I must say his dimple is endearing to me.

Debora composes herself and tells Max "Of course I know she's pregnant!" Max wants to know why Debora never told him. "Why would I tell you? Diana is having Diego's baby. What's the big deal?" Max walks out. Debora tells the camera that Max must never find out Diana is pregnant with Max's baby.

Gaby and Granny M are chatting in the garden. Gaby is telling Granny M what a creep Diego is turning out to be. Gaby feels guilty for talking Diana into marrying him just to give the baby a father. Max is her true love. Granny M reminds Gaby that Max and Diana can never be together. "F/G would never allow it." Gaby says, "With all due respect, F/G isn't in a position to dictate our love lives. When you have a love as grand and true as theirs, anything is possible." Granny M suddenly starts defending F/G's plan of vengeance. Gaby is confundida with Granny's sudden change of heart. Granny M thought bubbles, "If you and Diana only knew that F/G is your real mother!"

F/G is in her dressing room swearing revenge. Still.

Max confronts Lala and commands her to tell him the truth. Is Diana having his baby?

Andres and Doc Evil are talking. Doc Evil can't believe that Diana was found innocent. Doc Evil can't stop obsessing about her; perhaps because he was never able to have her. "All women want me! Why not her?" Andres asks what Doc Evil plans to do about it. Doc Evil isn't sure yet, but he knows Diana's attending physician. Diana has her monthly checkups at the hospital. I see a Code of Ethics violation coming up!

Rene is still schmoozing Yolanda. Finally he gets serious and wants to know why Yolanda has never married. Yolanda says she's never found her prince (principe azul). Rene points out that no man is perfect and actually puts some coherent thoughts together. Yolanda tells him she's never seen him so serious. Rene responds that when he tries to act mature, his friends mock him (or something to that effect). Yolanda clearly likes his serious side. Suddenly you hear all this squealing in the background. It's Peyote who is thrilled to see him and jumps on him from behind. Peyote announces she wants Rene to take her to the mall to buy lingerie. Yolanda is clearly embarrassed. Peyote tells Rene that Yolanda is a middle-aged nun (I think). Rene returns to his role of Dufus Deluxe.

Max is still pushing Lala for an answer to his question. Finally Lala, clearly nervous, says the baby is Diego's of course. Max walks off dejected, still in his too-tight ugly baby-blue sweater, dark pants, and white shoes.

Diego is back in the bedroom with yet another grisly painting. Who does these things for real? An intern from the Set Design Department? This one is of a man with a bare chest. Enough said. Diego dramatically points out "Dark colors. Somber as my soul." We are spared more of his "nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms" mood when the phone rings. It's his mamacita. She's glad he answered the phone. Max saw Diana pregnant and is now asking who's the daddy. I'm sure Diana is going to be in BIG trouble when she gets home now.

The moment we've been expecting has now arrived. The phone rings in Max's room and Debora answers. It's Andres. They call each other "pig" among other pleasantries being exchanged. Andres demands $5,000 by tomorrow. Diana says she's going to need more time. Andres says, "too bad, so sad. I want the money by tomorrow or I'll tell Max."

"Maldito, maldito, maldito!!" whines Deb, as suspenseful and dramatic music plays in the background. I find it comical that Andres only wants $5,000. How small-time is that?

"Diana… Diana… DIANA!!!!" screams Diego calling for his wayward wife. "What's with the shouting?" asks little Miss Innocent as she enters the room, still holding her faux belly. "Shut the door!!! You lied to me about seeing Max!!! He knows you're pregnant!!!"

Max and Granny DS are walking in the garden. Granny DS says she likes walking outside, but she doesn't like going by herself. She only likes hanging out with Max and Diana. Max announces that Diana is having a baby. Granny DS is excited that she's now going to be a great grandmother. Max sadly tells her the baby isn't his.

Diego is still yelling at Diana for lying to him. Diana tries to say something but he tells her to shut up. He continues with his verbal abuse and accuses her of lying to him and Pancho. Diana said Max happened to see her at the mall; it was no big deal. "Does Max know he's the father of the baby?" asks Diego. "Of course not," replies Diana. Diego starts ranting how Gaby lied as well. This abuse goes on way too long. Diana stands with her typical blank look. Have any of you ever noticed how dilated her pupils always are? You'd think with all the production lighting they'd be smaller.

Octave summons Lala. "Why didn't you tell me F/G was the mother of Diana and Gaby?" Lala replies she just recently found out; as long as she's known the girls, they've lived with their granny. Octave asks if she's lying. "Of course not," says Lala. Octave excuses her and tells her to forget they've talked about this. Lala leaves. Octave announces to no one in particular that she's going to destroy F/G. Personally, I think the WWE ought to hire these two and sell tickets. HBO could show it on PPV.

F/G is getting ready for a show when Paco knocks on the door to give her the ten-minute warning. They then have a boring discussion about her planned vengeance on the Irascibles and dragging Diana and Gaby into her fight. Paco tells F/G he loves her. She tells him she doesn't have time for love. If you haven't seen this part, you haven't missed much. Paco sure seems to be drawn to shallow women (F/G and "Alicia"—AKA Octave). Why can't he find a good woman like Yolanda? Now those two would make a good couple.

Octave is still babbling when Yolanda tells her dinner is ready. "I'm not eating," says Octave. More discussions about F/G. Octave has decided to buy Reynoso's loyalty. Yolanda doubts Reynoso can be bought. "Everyone has a price," declares Octave.

Paco and F/G walk into the dressing room with a canned audience clapping in the background. Suddenly the applause stops. F/G has an idea. Paco wants to know if she's planning to modify her set. "This has nothing to do with me as an artist. I want to throw a party in my honor and force the Irascibles to invite Diana and Gaby." At least I think this is the gist of the plan. It's not making a lot of sense to me right now.

Yolanda comes into Max's room, where he is lying shirtless on the bed. "Why aren't you coming to dinner?" asks Yolanda. Max tells Yolanda Diana is pregnant. He then goes on to whine about Diana and how wonderful and pure she was until F/G got a hold of her. Yolanda sheds one glycerin tear of true dolor.

Andres sneaks up behind Debora who is poolside in some risqué black tank top held together by three strings. She is displaying ample loads of cleavage. "What are you doing here?" asks Debora. A—"I've come to collect my $5,000." D—"But I told you I couldn't get it until tomorrow." A—"OK, I'm a gallant kinda guy. Tomorrow it is. If I don't have it by tomorrow, however, I'm going to tell Max you're not Marfil. Ciao!" With this he gives her a quick kiss and exits stage right. Debora is furiosa.

Max calls Diana. "Since I saw you yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you!" Their love theme plays as the commercials roll.

Emili-Oh opens the door to a very drunk Camila and Dalmatian Girl (Sylvie). Emili-Oh is furious with them for extorting money from his boss. "What's the big deal?" giggles Camila. E--"I could get fired because of you two." "Not to worry," slurs Camila. "You can always find another job." ***Can any of you viewers out there tell me if Camila suggested that Emili-Oh be a stripper? I couldn't quite understand the full exchange.***Lots of snickering. The scene ends with Emili-Oh telling them to not be at HIS apartment when he returns home from work. Camila and Sylvie are giggling that with all their new-found wealth, they can afford to get their own place!

Max starts to ask about the baby, but before he can finish, Diana tells him the baby is Diego's. She tells him not to call her anymore because Diego might answer and cause problems for her. She then hangs up on him. More glassy stares and belly caressing. Her pupils seem to be smaller now that she's in the backyard in a hammock. ***I've not had children, but it seems to me being nine months pregnant and being in a hammock is not a really good thing.*** She tells herself she still loves him and that just hearing his voice again makes her shudder. Love theme plays.

Lorenzo brings F/G her coffee, "just as you like it." He tells her how heartfelt her singing was the night before. "Diana and Gaby are going to be proud you're their mother." F/G says she's going to give them back the honor that Max and Larry took from them.

Octave is laying prone in bed, dramatically clutching a sachet to her temple. She clearly has Excedrin Headache Number 52. Lunkhead walks in holding the newspaper. He's got his shirt half tucked in again. He asks Octave if she's got a minute. Octave says if he needs money, her checkbook is on the table. "That's not why I'm here. Are you having troubles?" "Of course not," replies Octave. "Why do you ask?" Larry hands her the newspaper. "Then what is the meaning of this article? Is it true?" ***I had to advance the TiVo frame by frame. It says something about "Octavia de Irascible—the prestigious businesswoman is suspected of a scam." Unfortunately I couldn't read the rest of the article. It looks like someone pasted a fake article on top of a real newspaper, since some of the other columns are cut off and the fonts and spacing are clearly different.***

Octave is muchisima impactada!

Credits roll.

Labels: acorralada

We open with Max seeing Diana at the mall. Max is wearing that ugly light-blue sweater again. Also white bucks. Diana now holds her stomach all the time. I suppose the fake pregnancy belly they gave her is droopy and she has to hold it up. Max is impactado: Diana—you’re pregnant? What a shock. Is this your husband’s baby? Or is it the fruit of our love? She tells him it’s her husband’s. But she has that usual vacant look. You don’t know what she means.

Gaviota and Paco are at the prison bedside of “Alacran,” the criminal who kidnapped the girls. What happened to my daughters, she asks.

FM and Bruno are complaining about Andres. FM says that Andres is coming over in two hours to tell Max the truth. They call him an “astuto” and a “zorro,” both of which seem to mean the same thing—a “fox,” or rather a sly, cunning, tricky individual.

Pilar is at the beach shrieking at Larry that he must marry her. She does not shriek as loud as Deborah, fortunately. He points out that he’s not exactly running back to her since she stood him up at the church in front of everyone. He says, You’re obsessed with marrying me, but now I have doubts. A real rocket scientist, Larry is. She complains about Gaby, and he says that Pilar should not insult her because Gaby is an angel. No, she’s a dead fly, and a muerta de hambre, and a maldita sirvienta mugrosa (or a “damned filthy servant”). She says that Gaby will not steal Larry. Now she shrieks almost as shrilly as Deborah.

Back at the mall, Max does not believe Diana’s parentage story, because Diego is in a wheelchair. Diana says they slept together before the wedding. How do you know, Max asks. A woman knows. You mean you slept with me and him at the same time? No, she says, and now she really begins spinning the BS. She slept with Diego lots of times. That time on the island with Max—it was just an accident. She reminds him that he knew Diego was her boyfriend and their wedding was planned before that incident. You’re too busy believing the lies told by Camila and Doc Evil to remember.
I’m not the same Diana. One day Gaviota will get back all she has lost, and we are going to destroy the Irascibles.

Alacran now recounts how Octavia paid him to get rid of the girls. There’s another flashback to how he gave the girls to Granny M, who is a filthy beggar with no teeth. We hear again how a hurricane killed her hubby. This is your lucky day, he says. How would you like $20,000—and two little girls. Don’t ask any questions, etc. He calls the girls “mocosas,” which is slang for brats. Does any one know if this derives from “snotnose,” i.e., mucus-y?

After going back and forth with a lot of repetition we get the big news that no surprise the homeless woman is Granny M.
Alacron begs Fedora’s forgiveness and says he was only following orders. He dies.

Max calls Lala from the mall to get Gaviota’s number.

Gaby and Diana are at another mall. Diana tells about her lie. She says she hates Max like he deserves. (wasn’t she telling Gaby two days ago that she still loved Max?)

Gaviota is rejoicing about having found her daughters. She says that something told her they were her daughters, but now she is sure. Now she knows why Granny M always looked nervous when she asked about the girls.
She asks Doc Reynosa to take her to Granny’s house, but tells Paco that he can’t come.

Gaby and Diana discuss how Diego will be jealous if he finds out she saw Max.

Max goes to see Gaviota, but as we know, she is not there. He meets with Paco.

Andres is talking to Deborah at the little house. (I thought he was coming to the big house, but I suppose I was wrong.) They go back and forth about various blackmail and exposure plans. She calls him a piece of trash, and he slaps her. He says he’ll send her to prison. A thief like you? Ha. Let’s talk like adults,--we each know things about the other. There is a sort of truce.

Granny M and Gaviota begin the torturously slow, tedious exposition of how Gaviota now knows who the girls are. I cannot bear to recount.

Gaby and Diana continue talking at the mall about how they shouldn’t tell Max he is the baby’s father.

Max is asking Paco about the girls. He says Gaviota has poisoned Diana against him. Paco says that she didn’t have to do that. Max has done it all by himself. Paco says how Gaviota is going to recover her fortune and will be powerful, etc. Paco says that Max’s family destroyed them. Your mother made someone kidnap the kids. But now we know who they are: they are Diana and Gaby.
But Diana told me her parents were dead, Max exclaims, using his best powers of deductive reasoning. They don’t know, Paco says.
How do you know they’re the real daughters? We just met in prison with your mom’s accomplice. Your mother ordered it and provided $20,000 given to a beggar woman, Miguelina, etc. And by the way, your sainted aunt Yolanda helped out too. And worst of all, your father killed Fedora’s husband.

Gaviota continues recounting her story to Granny M.

Max sits down stiffly with all the weight of the horrible things he has learned about his family.

Yolanda gets a phone call from Doc Evil saying that Granny DS’s blood tests came out great—she’s healthy as a horse. Octavia is not happy to hear this news. That old bag has nine lives of a cat, she says, sneering.
Yolanda is trying to get Octavia to return the perfume business to Gaviota. Octavia is still sticking to her story—she doesn’t think Gaviota deserves it all—since with Octavia’s brilliant stewardship over 20 years, the business has tripled in value. Octavia does not understand the time value of money.

Gaviota is telling Granny that her recovery of everything is imminent, and she thanks Granny M for taking such good care of her girls, making them so sober and pure of heart. Granny says she’s sorry she didn’t tell her sooner—she didn’t know Gaviota was the real mother. Gaviota says she has nothing to apologize for, and she will be eternally grateful. Granny wants to know when they are going to tell the girls the good news.

Max is saying to Paco that now he understands why Diana hates him. I was an idiot. I shouldn’t have believed the lies. Now he asks about the baby. Paco tells him it’s Diego’s. So should he believe this? Hmmm, let’s see. They castigate him for believing lies from Doc Evil, but they want to punish him by . . . lying to him!

Granny M wants Gaviota to tell the girls—they’ll be so happy. But no, because it won’t fit in with the absurd rationale the writers have concocted for Fedora’s revenge plan. It seems she is afraid that the girls will reject her (why? Because she was falsely accused? What shame!) So that means she has to recover her fortune first and restore the girls to their rightful place as society babes in the mansion. By buying their love, she will be sure. Granny M agrees to this deception.

Gaviota is back at the bar. Jorge the waiter congratulates her on finding her daughters. She says that Granny will keep the secret. Jorge tells her that Max was just looking for her. Paco says that he told Max the secret about the girls (but not the secret about Diana’s baby). Got that, folks?

Max is back at home letting Octavia have it. How could you separate two girls from their mother and send their mother to prison? Have some respect, Yolanda pipes up. He points out that Yolanda was part of the plot too.

Back at Casa Soriano, Diego is asking Diana suspiciously about her trip to buy a robe. Pancho happens to be there. You really went out in hopes of running into Max, he taunts her. Pancho may be the brightest bulb of this dim bunch.

Max finishes off by telling his mother that Gaviota has finally found her two daughters. Octavia asks, Really? Who are they? (Again—didn’t she know this?) Diana and Gaby. She looks impactada. You don’t know which she thinks is worse, that her sons are in love with a nurse and a servant or that they are in love with the daughters of the hated Gaviota.

Labels: acorralada

Whoever decided to garrote Don Max made sure to knock his hat off first, so Max’s face could be seen better in the light. We get a quick glimpse of the attacker’s foot and leg, he appears to be wearing slacks and nice shoes. So it isn’t Gaspar, I don’t think it’s Santos either, he dresses more hillbilly. Whoa, I wasn’t expecting this! Max overpowers the attacker and the eyes look female – Don Max slaps the attacker and the cry out is definitely female. Don Max pulls off the hood and it’s Rosita! They yell at each other, he says he’s in pain now, she says it is his conscience bothering him. He says he’s going to call the police, she says fine, I’ll tell them that you raped me. Instead of just saying he didn’t do it, which might sound believable, he says she doesn’t have any proof, which sounds totally guilty. Idiot. Anyway, they yell at each other some more, Rosita finishing by saying that Don Max won’t remain here. I guess she means that he’ll be locked up, I didn’t quite get what she was saying.

Some guys are loading a truck with boxes, Jose and Arcadio approach and ask if they can ride in the back of the truck, they are trying to get back to Mexico. After giving the boss a piece of gold, they get permission. The boss says to be back in an hour or they will get left behind, Jose smartly says that they will just wait here, they get up into the back of the truck right away. Very smart move, I was waiting for a scene with them running up behind the truck that is already pulling away.

Stupid Alina (I think I will call her that or just regular Alina depending on whether she just did something stupid or not. In this case, she was wandering around outside the church and was spotted by Jeremias, which was totally stupid.) rushes into the bedroom and wakes up her mother, saying that they have to leave right away. She was seen by “that drunk” Jeremias and he will surely rat them out to Don Loco. Soledad is being a little stupid as well, she says they can’t leave, it’s night and they don’t know the way. Whatever – just go outside, get a taxi, tell it where to take you. Soledad says they have to wait for Elias to come get them. Right now Elias is in such grief that I don’t really think he’ll be much help, but Soledad is the boss right now, what she says goes, I guess.

Elias and the other highway guy are going over some stuff, the other guy tells Elias to take the day off tomorrow, he has been working very hard. Elias seems in better shape now, at least when focusing on work, perhaps I was too hard on him in the previous paragraph. We will see. The other highway guy asks him if he has always gone to church, Elias says yes, the other guy says he hopes Elias finds what he needs there. Elias says he found much more than that. Careful Elias, don’t be like everyone else, completely unable to keep a secret! The other highway guy just says “I’m glad for you” and leaves. Whew. These people crack under interrogation, like the first time someone says hello. Like this – “Hello Elias.” “Ok ok you beat it out of me – Alina and Soledad are at the church! Enough already! Quit torturing me!” Good thing other highway guy didn’t raise an eyebrow or something. After the other highway guy leaves, Elias thought bubbles that Emiliooo is the only one that can help him with the ladies, tomorrow Elias will go ask Emiliooo to go with him to the church.

Orlando follows Thelma into her room, laughing at her. Thelma says whatever, laugh it up. She tells him that Emiliooo doesn’t touch her, she needs “the heat of a man.” Orlando insinuates that she should come to him for that. Yeah right, Eddie Haskell, I’m sure the first time she gets horny she’ll think of YOU. He says he won’t tell Emiliooo, but his silence isn’t free! He takes a sniff of the air between them, I guess he wants some hush nookie too. She’s going to be on her back 24/7 just paying people to keep quiet, or kill someone, or whatever else. After Orlando leaves, Thelma calls him stupid and says she hates him. I suspect this means they will be together in the end, unless one of them gets killed, which is possible.

Jeremias has had his fill for the night and is leaving Edelmira’s joint. She wants to know where he is going. What, she has him locked up too? He says he’s going to see Don Loco, he saw Alina and knows where she is. Edelmira is a little impactada. She shoves a free drink in his face to try and get him liquored up, so he’ll spill what he knows. Apparently the combination to his ‘vault’ is the same as Elaine from Seinfeld.

Hugo stands next to Don Loco’s bed and asks him how he feels. Don Loco wants to know what happened, Hugo tells him that he got shot up with a sedative, to settle his nerves or something. Hugo tells him that Mariana was there to see him and she’s waiting until he wakes up. Don Loco tells Hugo to go make sure to send her back to Mexico City, he doesn’t want to see her. Hugo says he’s on it.

In the morning, Alina tells Soledad that she didn’t sleep all night. Neither did Soledad. Perhaps it was because you two idiotas should have been out on the run? Soledad says that Jeremias can’t have said anything yet, Don Loco wouldn’t accept a visitor like him during the night. Yeah right, all Jeremias had to say was Alina or Soledad and Don Loco would be right out there accusing Jeremias of sleeping with his wife. Once they got that sorted out, then Jeremias could tell Don Loco his information. Alina and Soledad sit and dream about how they are about to be free, never to return. Since they are making a big deal of it, I’m sure they aren’t going to get free. Just a hunch.

Elias asks Emiliooo if he’ll still help Alina and Soledad, Emiliooo says of course, do you know something? Elias says he knows where they are. Thelma just happens to walk out right now onto the landing on the top of the stairs, right above where the men are talking. So of course, the men keep talking at full volume. Idiots. Elias announces that the women are at the church, Thelma listens to the whole thing.

Mariana tells Adela that she wants to talk to Don Loco but he doesn’t seem to want to talk to her. Adela says he isn’t feeling well, you know how it is. Mariana says she wants to tell Don Loco that she’s getting married, she hopes to see Don Loco at the wedding. She gives Adela a note to give to Don Loco. She says she wants to see Alina and Soledad, Adela says “uh yeah….. sure.”

Elias tells Emiliooo that it is super important that nobody sees the women! They leave to help the ladies while Thelma runs back to her room with her new info, which she immediately tells to Orlando. Ok – Thelma is in a robe, Orlando is in clothes, did she just pay him some hush nookie? She doesn’t have that satisfied look like she has after a ‘chat’ with Castulo.

Hugo is driving a carriage with Mariana riding, it is obvious why they need a proper road out here. Cripes, it’s like an amusement park ride. Mariana says she doesn’t feel good about leaving Don Loco in his present condition. She tries to pump Hugo for information, but Hugo doesn’t reveal anything.

Don Loco tries to pay Dr. Z, but the doctor won’t take the money. Dr. Z tells Don Loco that he has pathological jealousy. Some dedicated folks here at Caray Caray have already made that diagnosis, Dr. Z is falling behind! Don Loco won’t hear any more. Dr. Z says they need to treat his condition or….. Don Loco tells him to get out. Just then, Sergio busts in. “You called, Don Loco?” He should have said it like Lurch – “You rannnnggg?” Don Loco says yes, see the Dr. out. Dr. Z says don’t bother, I know the way out. Adela wandered in behind Sergio, she just watches. I’m sure this is just a small piece of the good chisme she gets on a daily basis. Sergio and the doctor leave. Don Loco asks Adela what she told Mariana, Adela says just what Don Loco told her to say, that Soledad and Alina were on a trip. She gives him the note that Mariana left for him. Don Loco says it’s good she’s getting married, he won’t have to take care of her any more. What a guy.

Elias catches Emiliooo up on the story we are so familiar with. Don Loco is sure that Soledad cheated and Alina isn’t his daughter. The reality is that he is crazy. A DNA test would prove that Alina is his daughter. Ok, Emiliooo, let’s go get them!

Soledad says that Elias won’t be long now. Doesn’t Alina want to say goodbye to the padre? Alina gets long winded, yes she wants to say goodbye but can’t seem to go do it, it’s like saying goodbye to everything all at once, etc etc. Oh for crying out loud – Soledad says it is saying goodbye to the story of pain, hurt, all that stuff, Stupid Alina says “Yes but it is also saying goodbye the story where I met Emiliooo.” To me, that goes right along with the pain, hurt, all that stuff. That guy is a tool, move on already. I know you are dumb, Alina, but you are also pretty hot, and because of that you will always be able to find someone else. Maybe the next guy isn’t as much of a tool as our friend Emiliooo. Just a little friendly advice. Soledad rightly says “Wtf? He came back and humiliated you!” Alina drones on some more with her usual crap. I can’t make myself repeat it.

Thelma is wearing a shirt that appears to be made to accentuate the boobs but hide the stomach, this might be her first attempt at maternity wear. Anything that accentuates the boobs is ok by me. Singing Aunt tells her that she has to convince Emiliooo to move away with her for the health of the baby. Haven’t we heard all this before? Thelma rants and raves.

Emiliooo and Elias ride the rickety coach towards town. A wheel gets stuck in a hole in the road. They get down to try and free it. They decide it’s going to be difficult.

Orlando is telling Sergio that it is urgent, he has to see Don Loco, Sergio says no way. Don Loco comes in and asks what’s going on. Orlando tells him where the women are and Don Loco is impactado. Going into commercial impactado. Speaking of commercial, this is the first commercial and we are already 18 minutes into the show! Wow.

During the commercial for Destilando Amor, there is a lady played by the same actress as Luba! She didn’t waste any time getting into another show.

Orlando says yes, he is sure they are there, Elias said it. Don Loco, of course, thinks that Elias is after Soledad. Actually, he might be right this time. Don Loco tells Sergio to get the horses ready but Orlando insists on going with him instead of Sergio. Don Loco says fine, and Orlando will be rewarded.

Thelma is trying to recruit Angel in the cause of “Let’s move back to the city.” She says this place is going to kill him. He says if he dies, he prefers it to be here. He can be put in the crypt with his parents. Thelma says “are you crazy? I don’t want to stay here!” Angel says, “Then go! And take Emilioooo with you!” Thelma correctly points out that Emilioooo won’t go anywhere without Angel. And why does he want to stay? To win that grubby woman? Has he looked in a mirror lately? I forgot to mention, Angel is coughing so much now, he’s making up for the last month where he kept forgetting to cough during his scenes, he is really laying it on thick now. Angel yells at Thelma to leave, she says he’s a loser, no woman will ever see anything in him. He keeps telling her to get out. On her way out, she almost runs into Sexy Nurse Suzi on her way in. Speaking of “no woman will see anything in you,” here is the one woman silly enough to make that statement false. She looks great in some tight white pants and a sheer shirt that you can see her bra through. It’s great. She gives Angel a sip of water, through his coughs he says “Thelma is right. I’m not good for anything.” I’m sick of him and his whining. I think he really DOES believe that Sexy Nurse Suzi is in love with him, that’s why he keeps trying to play “poor me” when she’s around, to make sure she keeps feeling for him. He coughs some more.

Emiliooo tries to push the wheel out by himself while Elias tries to push the horses. Emiliooo gets a shovel and tries to dig out the wheel.

The ladies and the priest are standing outside in front of the church wondering where Elias is. Soledad says all they can do is wait, Alina says she is desperate and runs off saying she has to do something. Great. Whatever she has to do, it is sure to be the end of this escape attempt. She ruins everything. Soledad says she wants to confess before they leave. She confesses to having hate in her heart. The priest says she has to forgive, but she says she can’t. Not after all the things Don Loco did to her and her daughter. The priest still says she has to forgive, but Soledad again says she can’t. She is confessing because she knows that hate is a sin, so she wants to do the penance for it, but she can’t forgive.

Alina is saying goodbye to Donkey, she is sorry she can’t take him with her. He’ll be happy with Luba.

In Puebla, the general who sent Emiliooo and his gang to go build the road is getting a report from another soldier. There are reports that Jose and Arcadio are on their way back to Mexico, they might be dangerous and they might be planning to set up a new group here similar to the one they were part of in central America. The soldier is requesting some of the men building the road to be moved over to him to help track down Arcadio and Jose. The general says yes.

In Mexico City, Malena leaves Mariana a note saying that Marianita is very ill and she went to the hospital to be with her. She opens the door to leave and there are Jose and Arcadio! Malena is impactada. How did they get there so fast? They weren’t on a plane! They were in the back of a truck! Also, can you imagine how incredibly rank those guys must smell by now? They can’t have showered or changed clothes in weeks. Not to mention that they must have peed on themselves during that long truck ride. These issues aren’t ever addressed on these shows. I do remember commenting on how they glossed over how people went to the bathroom, only to be treated with more and more shots of people crouching over chamberpots as time went on. Maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

Marianita wakes up and asks for her mom. Dr. Love says she’ll be there soon. He tells the other doctor that the girl has to live or Mariana will never forgive him. He is going to administer more treatment. The other doctor wishes him luck. Maybe he should consult his puppet for advice, hmm? Dr. Love says losing Marianita would be too much, he wants to be a father for her, and it would be a killing blow for Mariana. No duh, genius.

Jose apologizes for not calling ahead. I find this hilarious. “I’ve been gone forever and now I’m back, sorry I didn’t call first.” Malena has the gall to get mad at Jose, asking how he could just show up after all this time. Jose said he sent a card, Malena said the card was full of lies. Arcadio butts in and says she has no idea what they have been through, now they are tired, can they get a drink of water? Malena says yes, then you have to get out. Jose asks where Mariana and their daughter are, Malena says they aren’t here and she won’t let him come back in and change their lives. Arcadio the friggin genius decides now is the time to say something to Jose about Felicia having been pregnant by Jose. Of course Malena overhears and is impactada.

In Puebla, Santos is packing up, he is going back to find Rosita. His hottie mom, who favors little dresses that her boobs completely fall out of (I of course approve), begs him not to go. She will go find Rosita and bring her here, then they can get married here. Santos says no, he has to go himself, but nothing will happen. Hottie mom acts like she’s having a heart attack, Santos runs for help. When he’s gone, she is immediately back to normal and says “Sorry son, but I can’t let you go back there.”

Rosita’s dad wants to know where she got a new cut on her forehead. She says it was Don max, dad swears he’s going to kill him, but Rosita stops him by saying it was her own fault. She tells him that she tried to kill him and she hates him with all her soul.

Hottie mom talks to some friend about Santos going back to the hacienda. Nothing interesting, really.

Some other guys have come along to help get the carriage out. It finally pops out of the rut, just like that. Elias and Emiliooo get back on and off they go.

Orlando tells Thelma that he told Don Loco where the ladies are, Thelma hopes Emilioooo and Don Loco don’t fight again over that mugrosa. She is lounging on her back eating pieces of watermelon with a fork. Orlando reminds her about the idea for Alina to be their maid, Thelma says she changed her mind, she doesn’t want Alina in the house. Orlando says don’t you remember that having her here is part of my plan? Orlando tells Thelma that she will go along with his plan, or he will tell Emiliooo that she is boinking Castulo AND that the baby isn’t Emilioooo’s. Wow I didn’t realize how many holes Thelma has dug for herself. And to think she has to rely on Orlando to keep it a secret. Good luck Thelma.

Jose asks Malena again where Mariana and their daughter are. Malena says that Mariana is in Sierra Escondida, but doesn’t say why. Jose asks if the girl is with her, Malena tells him no, she is in the hospital. Jose is slow-motion impactado, I thought for sure this was going to be a commercial. They are giving slow-motion impactados to people not headed into commercials these days and it’s tricking me.

The ladies fuss and worry that something happened to Elias. Don Loco and Sergio ride up. Wait, I thought Orlando was going with? Maybe Don Loco wanted Orlando to go with and Orlando said no, maybe I got it backwards. Don Loco asks the ladies, why those faces? Weren’t you expecting me? I guess DL and Sergio took a different way to town than Elias and Emiloooo, since they didn’t run into them on the way. And how convenient that the carriage got stuck, giving the crazies time to show up first. The priest asks the dumbest question of all time, “What are you doing here, Don Loco?” DUH Padre, what do you think? Cripes. Don Loco says he’s here to take his wife home. Soledad says no way, I’m not going. The priest says you heard her, now make like a tree and get out of here. Back and forth, Don Loco tells the priest to butt out, tells the ladies to come, the ladies say no, the priest tells DL to get out. Soledad says they need to get a DNA test, she never cheated on him, she swears it. They accuse each other of ruining each other’s lives.

Jose is upset that his daughter is in the hospital. Malena says that the girl has leukemia. Jose is very upset and wants to know where she is to go see her. Malena says she’ll take them. Nobody notices the note that Malena left on the table.

Soledad begs to be left in peace. Another back and forth of you’re coming with me, no I’m not, Don Loco you can’t do that, butt out Padre. Yawn. How long will they drag that scene out?

Luba is kicking back with a smoke. This appears to be a regular issue cig, not one of her doobies. She has an orange flashback of (I think, he has a long ponytail) Gaspar Sr. slapping her around, saying she cheated on him. She doesn’t deny it. Gaspar Sr. says he’s going to send her back to her family, she begs him not to. He slaps her again, knocking her off of the bed onto the floor. Gaspar Sr. yells at her some more that she has to take care of his kids, I really didn’t understand what he ranted about. He wouldn’t send her to her family, but she couldn’t stay in his bed. Now get out. Back in the present, Luba comments on her bad luck. The only good thing that happened to her is her Gaspar.

Alvaro has had enough, he calls Sergio to help him. The priest butts in one more time, Don Loco punches him, dropping him to the pavement. Don Loco and Sergio grab the women and make ready to leave, but just then Elias and Emilioooo arrive. Elias tells Don Loco to leave the women alone. Emiliooo just sits there like a lump and says nothing.

Gaspar and Nora dip their feet in to the water off of a pier. Gaspar says he can’t go any farther than the river, if he gets closer to the house his munequita will get upset. Nora, obviously, isn’t pleased to be hearing about her again. Can’t he talk about anything else? He says yes, she is going to give him a baby. He wants it now so they can play. Nora tries to explain that it takes a long time for the baby to come. He says they should go to Nora’s house, and she can give him a baby. Was that a proposition? She is pissed off and says with you, no. Goodbye. She takes off. Gaspar doesn’t understand.

The boys get off the coach and walk up to Don Loco. Showdown time. Don Loco says he came to retrieve his wife. Emiliooo says that if she wants to go with him they can’t interfere, but he has no claim on Alina. She isn’t his daughter, right? Don Loco says no, she isn’t. Well then, you can’t take her. Don Loco actually says fine, whatever. She won’t be happy at Emiliooo’s house either. Emilioooo asks why, but we don’t get an answer. Don Loco tries to take Soledad but Elias says no, he can’t take her either. Emiliooo starts to get involved but Elias says it’s between him and DL. He makes a move to punch DL, but of course Don Loco has fought more and blocks the punch, then knocks Elias down with a punch to the face. Don Loco draws his gun on Elias and says he’s going to kill him. Emilioooo pulls his own gun on Don Loco, telling him that he won’t let him do that. This is a real Mexican standoff, at least if Elias pulled a gun on Emiliooo. They are in Mexico and everything. Emiliooo tells Don Loco to put his gun down, DL just stares at Elias down the barrel of his gun.

Dr. Love and his nurse are giving Marianita some treatment. Malena and Jose arrive, Jose is very sad at the sight of his sick daughter. Dr. Love is not at all happy to see that Jose, the father, has arrived. Jose cries and cries. Marianita wakes up and asks for her mama. She asks who he is. He tells her that he is her father, Jose. She is happy that he returned. You aren’t going to leave, right? Jose says no. Jose shows her the picture of her that he always carried with him. She thanks him for keeping her with him.

Soledad gets between Elias and Don Loco and tells them both to calm down. Stupid Soledad says she will go back with Don Loco, even though he just made some crack about her and ‘how she is.’ Alina is screaming for her not to go back with him, so is Elias. Emilioooo, however, just tells Alina “Let’s go.” This guy is such a loser. “Yeah ok, your mom, whatever, let’s get out of here.” Stupid Soledad says it’s for the best and she leaves with Don Loco, who tells Emilioooo to take Alina and get lost. Elias stays with the priest to get fixed up after Don Loco kicked his ass. Emiliooo gets in the carriage with Alina, who is going to drive? Alina cries after her mom.

Jose and Marianita talk and cry some more. He tells her he doesn’t want her to be sick any more. Because it isn’t fair. Malena says God works in strange ways and there’s nothing we can do about it. Malena and Dr. Love leave Jose alone with the girl. She tells Jose that the girls tease her about not having hair. He tells her that she’s beautiful. He gets some clippers that just happen to be there and shaves his head to be bald like hers, telling her over and over that she is hermosa. She likes his new look. Well, it isn’t bald, just really short, a buzz cut. That’s not quite the bald head of solidarity I was expecting. He promises that she’ll get better. She doesn’t want any more doctors, she wants them to all be together, she and her parents. Suddenly the heart monitor flatlines. Jose cries and cries. This hospital totally sucks, nobody responds to the girl DYING. I hope I’m never in Mexico City and sick.

Monday – Emiliooo the genius takes Alina back to his own house and expects that to be just fine with everyone.

Labels: duelo

The episode begins with SAM trying to carry out the governor’s orders to arrest Montero. SAM is struggling with it, Fernando had told him to kill Monty if he resisted arrest. Monty isn’t one to go willingly and tells the soldiers to shoot. SAM and the soldiers cannot do it, Monty is the military leader of Los Angeles, he’s their boss. They lower their rifles. Monty calls them all cowards and tells them that he’ll deal with them after he’s fixed his other problems. Mariangel is still sitting in the carriage watching this all take place. She’s ticked at the soldiers, because as long as Monty is alive/at large Diego’s in danger.

Meanwhile, at the gypsy camp Renzo is rallying the band to go free Sara Kali from Callao prison. Jonas tells him to wait to hear from Diego, to actually find out where SK is being held (logical to find out where someone is if you are going to take on the risky job of breaking them out of prison—especially since SK is not being held inside the prison any longer). Renzo has no faith in Diego because he’s jealous of Diego and Esmerelda’s relationship. His mother reminds Renzo that Esme chose Diego. Jonas breaks up the group of gypsies that Renzo was trying to gather. Renzo’s mother tells him to not put the group at risk because of his personal whims. Renzo doesn’t like what he’s hearing from his mother and storms off, while muttering that he’ll have to go free Sara Kali himself.

At the de la Vega residence, Al’s room is being guarded by the soldiers that Pizarro sent. They will not allow anyone to enter, not even Dolores, Esme, Maria Pia, and Dena. Dena steps in and uses the threat of her brother, Fernando, the governor. Somehow this works and the soldiers let the women enter the room. They can tell that someone’s been in the room, Esme notices that the window is open. At this point, Yumali comes in with her herbs, she’s said that she’s been able to stop the bleeding and that the herbs need to be applied repeatedly in order to keep the bleeding at bay. Dolores stands in the background with a knowing look, she knows that Yumi is involved in the assassination attempt on Fernando that resulted in Al’s wound. Dena is pleased that someone has done something to help Al. She has heard of Yumi’s curative powers with animals and she’s happy that she’s able to use them to help Al. Bewildered, she asks Yumi how she heard that Al was wounded. Yumi says that she was out looking for herbs and heard what happened. Dolores demands that Yumi go with her to the kitchen, they’ve got a lot to talk about. Maria Pia sits by Al’s bedside and prays.

OK, so now is the first commercial break and I have to complain about that movie Dead Silence they keep advertising on this station. I hate, hate, hate clowns and I’m no fan of creepy looking dolls. So this movie has creepy clown dolls in it and I get freaked out whenever I see the commercial. Now I ask, are the people who watch Zorro really interested in this type of movie, I cannot imagine that the demographics are the same. OK, back to the show.

Bernardo and Padre Tomas are talking about what’s happened with Diego being arrested. Padre Tom tells Bernie not to worry, this is only a trick by Montero. He doesn’t know that Diego is really Zorro. He’s just trumped up some evidence in order to get Diego out of the picture. He and Bernie discuss how bad that Diego will have it in prison, but Padre Tom knows that Diego won’t say anything. He’ll keep the identity of Zorro a secret.

Back at the prison, Pizarro presents his “evidence” against Diego to Monty. Monty says- This must be an error, there is no way that this coward could be the outlaw Zorro. He’s playing like he’s confused by all of this. Then Pizarro goes on to say how they found a mask and cape in the de la Vega barn. Monty says with this kind of evidence unfortunately we will have to investigate—Diego will have to remain in the prison. Monty tells Pizarro to go out and find further proof, but Piz wants to interrogate Diego first. Monty agrees, he tells Piz that he’s got to go, but knows that Diego will be in good hands. Monty takes off to see the governor.

The women at the de la Vega’s rehash what’s happened with Pizarro and Diego. Esme decides to go see her father, Fernando, and ask for his help. After all, Diego is the son of Fernando’s best friend.

Monty confronts Fernando. M says—SAM says you wanted to talk to me. Fer says—No, I wanted you arrested. Fer determines that the soldiers were cowards (he and Monty are in agreement—now boys here’s a starting point--let’s start with our commonalities and work on building a more trusting relationship). The two spout on and on as Olmos sits reading Monty’s account ledgers. The gist is pretty much Fer says that as governor, he has to watch over what Monty is doing. Monty asks if Fer is implying he’s a thief. Fer tells Monty that he has something that belongs to him and now Fer will take something that belongs to Monty. Olmos gathers the ledgers and Monty draws his sword. Fer pulls out his and asks why damage their relationship (that’s what it looks like I wrote, but I don’t remember exactly and I really have messy handwriting when I’m taking notes—so I could be wrong on this part).

Esme arrives home and runs into Mariangel. She wants to know where their dad is, MA’s curious as why Esme needs Fernando. Esme tells her that Diego has been arrested. MA laughs. Everything that has happened to Diego is Esme’s fault for breaking her engagement to Monty. Esme determines that she’ll get nothing out of MA and decides to head back to town. As she walks out she is grabbed by someone the audience cannot see.

Commercial ---That girl from Dame Chocolat really does have a bulbous nose. I’m glad to hear it is fake.

In the kitchen, Dolores scolds Yumi. She knows that Yumi is involved in Don Alejandro’s shooting. Yumi cries. She tells Dolores that she wanted to kill the one-eyed man and that Al got hurt by accident. Dena has come downstairs during this conversation and overhears what Dolores and Yumi are saying.

Fer and Monty are in a stance with swords drawn. Monty tells Fer that if they were to duel there would be no match. Fer would kill Monty because of his arm wound. Fer asks Monty what is his price? Fer wants an exchange, the ledgers for Mercedes (Sara Kali). Monty wants Esme, for Fer to arrange for him to wed her. Fer says no way. He cannot go back on his word again, he did it once and how would it look if he were to reverse his reversed decision. It would make the governor look indecisive, and weak. Monty tells Fer that he will marry Esme, one way or another. They will be wed soon. Fer tells Monty that he’s taking the ledgers and Monty will get them back when Fer gets Sara Kali.

In the prison, Pizarro has Diego tied up, hands overhead as he thrashes Diego. He wants Diego to sign a confession. Diego says that he’s not Zorro and he won’t sign anything. Diego tells Pizarro that he knows that Pizarro knows that Diego really isn’t Zorro. Diego says he’ll continue to resist, it’s no use for Pizarro to try to beat it out of him. Piz keeps at Diego and pulls out a scary-looking thing on the end of a whip, since I’m not well versed in torture devices, I have no idea what it is (OK, besides the standard whip there’s the rack, cat-o-nine tails and the Catherine wheel, but other than that I’m not well versed). Piz says he’ll remove Diego’s soul. Diego flashes back to when he took his oath as Zorro. Piz keeps at him—sign the documents and you can see your father to say goodbye, I hear he’s dying. Diego tells him—if my father dies, I swear I’ll kill you.

Maria Pia goes to see Fernando. He asks her about Al’s condition. She tells Fer how the soldiers are at the de la Vega’s keeping guard on Al. Fer doesn’t like the sound of this. They rehash a bit over what’s happened with Diego and Alejandro. Maria Pia asks Fer to help get Diego out of prison. Mariangel walks by the room and stops to listen to their conversation at the door.

Esme was grabbed by Monty’s soldiers, who have brought her to him at his prison office. Monty attempts to blackmail Esme into marrying him. He’ll free Diego in exchange for her becoming his. Esme tells him he’s crazy. She tells Monty that she’s going to see her father and he’ll get this all cleared up. Monty laughs, he’s got Fernando in his hands. Esme says she’ll resist Monty. That he can never separate her and Diego. Monty—You really love that clown. Monty decides to take drastic measures, he drags Esme out of the room and takes her to where Diego is being tortured.

Dena confronts Yumi and tells her she heard everything. D--This is all your fault, how could you do this to Alejandro, the man who took you in and took care of you. Dena goes on about how she wanted to help Yumi, that she was going to help educate her and teach her how to be a proper lady. The she slaps Yumi. Dolores comes in and tells Dena to come quickly, it looks like Al is dying. Dena tells Yumi to stay there, she cannot go.

Esme is brought in to see Diego. She runs to him and hugs him. She tells Pizarro and Monty that they are miserable savages. She slips Diego her medallion. E—it has offered me protection, now it will do the same for you.

Maria Pia and Fernando: Fer—I broke my word to Montero. You know he is a cruel and powerful man. MP-what does Monty have on you? Fer—I cannot explain, it’s not easy. Blah, blah, rehash, rehash. MP says something about what Monty did to the prior governor. She says something about now only Zorro can help. Fer doesn’t like to hear that. MP says she used to think he was a man of action, that she could expect him to help. Right now she is sorry she came to see him. Fer—Wait, what is it you want. MP-Justice. Have justice for mi sobrino. Fer—You know that Montero nor God can convince me, only you can Maria Pia. (MA is still listening at the door, and making faces like she just ingested something really sour). Fer—I’ll save your nephew, but please promise me that you will not accept your religious vows.

The Cardinal and Sister Psycho are together. She is offering up her confession. She starts to talk about the devil and how he lives among them in the convent. He’s even taken over one of the sisters, Maria Pia. The Cardinal is muy impactado.

Diego and Esme are still embracing in the prison torture room (que romantico). Esme kisses him and Diego says don’t worry about me. Please check on my father. Esme assures Diego that someone has attended to Al and he is getting better. Monty watches all of this exchange and starts to applaud and make disparaging remarks about Esme and Diego’s relationship. He pulls Esme away from Diego and Pizarro starts up again with the whipping. Esme tries to turn away, but Monty forces her to watch. The two struggle and Esme is about ready to fall out of the top of her dress (see, you shouldn’t wear such low cut dresses, it can lead to some potentially embarrassing situations especially in front of the wrong people, though I’m sure Monty would have liked the sight). Esme stands up to Monty. She calls him a coward who hides behind the power of his position (as many people in power do). Diego asks Esme to leave (uh, wouldn’t that be up to Monty). Esme continues to taunt Monty. E-you are doing all of this to get a woman who despises you. Here’s your answer, she slaps him (way to go Esme!!). Monty drags her out of the torture chamber, with a parting remark to Pizarro. M-whip him till he signs or dies.

Padre Tom has come to see Al. Al asks for Diego and Dena lies and said that he went to go get some help for Al. Dena tells Al that she knows that Yumi is responsible for him lying in the bed, wounded. Al tries to explain and Dena tells him to save his strength. She cries and says that you are a good man and don’t deserve this…Yumi comes in and says that she’ll save him. Padre Tom says that let Guadalupe (Yumi) tend to Al. Dena- I don’t have confidence in her. PT-but Alejandro’s life is at stake. Dolores agrees with the good Padre. Besides, Yumi knows healing ways. Al calls out to Dena and tells her that he trusts Yumi. Dena asks Yumi what is it that you need. She tells them that they must leave.

Back to Fernando and Maria Pia….MP tells Fer to be a noble man. Fer says that he’s going to do her a favor, but he will not allow her to take her vows. Fer—your love is mine, not God’s. MP—how dare you doubt my religious devotion. Fer—I know what you feel for me, you tremble when you see me, your eyes brighten up, your lips cry for my kisses. Fer moves in for a kiss and Mariangel, watching, is practically hanging in the room from the doorway, which makes me wonder how they cannot see her. She’s halfway across the threshold. MP—Enough!! Don’t touch me. You are a selfish man, you think of only yourself never think of me and what I want. Fer—you cannot become a nun, it is forever. At this point I need to interject a personal story, when I was younger a co-worker wanted to set me up with a man she thought was perfect for me. He was intelligent, well-educated and a practicing Catholic (important to her & my parents, but not a big deal to me). So I said if you think we’d get along, then go ahead and introduce us. She said, well there is only one slight problem. Me-What is it? Her—He’s in the Seminary. Me-NO WAY!! See, I’m just Catholic enough to believe that there is a certain section of Hell reserved for women temptresses who entice men out of the priesthood. So, I reflect back on this in regard to Fer. He is trying so hard to get Maria Pia away from her religious order, but unlike me, he doesn’t care that there is a special place in Hell reserved for him. Because, to him Hell is right now, living without Maria Pia. OK, back to the show. You are selfish, blah, blah. No you cannot become a nun…..MP basically tells Fer phooey on you, we don’t need you because sooner or later Diego will be freed from prison because he is innocent. Besides, we still have powerful people in Spain and the Spanish Crown will have to get involved. She tells Fer that he’s lost her respect and she cannot wait to become the Mother Superior because then she’ll never have to see his face again. Then she storms out of the room….how she missed MA at this point, I don’t know. Fer goes after her and MA speaks up, “Let her go!” She starts ranting that it is all clear to her now. Maria Pia is to blame for why Fer wouldn’t help MA to become Diego’s wife.

SAM goes to ask some other soldiers what’s going on. They tell him that Diego has been arrested for being Zorro. SAM thinks this cannot be because Diego is such a gentleman, he doesn’t even know how to fire a gun (how wrong you are SAM). SAM knows that Pizarro and Montero are probably torturing Diego. This really bothers him, because SAM is pretty much a good guy, a bit of a bumbling clumsy idiot, but basically good.

Padre Tom and Bernie are rehashing again, but decide that they have to do something to get Diego out.

Diego is thrown into a cell, unconscious. SAM is ordered to guard his cell. He asks, to no one in particular, why would they do this to him. He whispers to Diego, “I’ll take care of you, I’ll get help.” (OK, both Montero and Pizarro have made comments about how worthless they think SAM is, but yet they still use him to do some pretty important jobs. I mean, how desperate is this army for good help, if the incompetent SAM Garcia is being used to do the top notch assignments).

Fer asks Mariangel where she learned to spy behind doors. She ignores him and rants on….MA- I suspected that you were in love with her and now I cannot believe it. She is going to be the ruin of you. She goes on to say some insulting things about Maria Pia and Fer gets really angry. He slaps her and demands that MA leave Maria Pia alone (way to go Fer!!) Mariangel cries that he’s never hit her before. MA—You choose a woman who doesn’t even love you over your own daughter. Fer says he’s sorry as MA storms out of the room.

Tobias is dressed up in his Zorro costume (I guess it wasn’t his outfit that Pizarro used to frame Diego---there just must be a special on these outfits at the local Wal-Mart). He looks like and idiot. He cannot even get the mask straight on his face. Catalina looks at her husband and sees the idiot we all know him to be. She starts telling him this is foolish and even says that he could actually be mistaken for the real Zorro and that could be a lot of trouble (possible foreshadowing? I thought this the other day when he first got the stupid outfit, and frankly I hope it happens).

Monty and Pizarro discuss his (lack of ) progress with getting Diego to confess. Monty has faith that Pizarro will be successful eventually. He also decides to have the town crier announce in the plaza that Diego is being charged with the crime of being the outlaw, Zorro. He wants everyone in town to know and soon Esme and Monty will be wed (hey, I only type this stuff, this is his “brilliant” plan). Pizarro comments that Monty is rather confident. Monty decides that they need to get rid of Al. He’s got to die because he doesn’t fit into their plans (talk about being all over the place in this conversation).

Yumi continues to give Al medicine. It truly must be the case of the cure being worse than what ails you because Al is screaming something fierce. Dena and Dolores hear this from outside the room. Dolores assures Dena that Yumi is a good healer. Dolores makes a comparison between Yumi and Al’s dead wife, Regina, who was also well versed in the healing arts. By the look on her face you can tell that Dena doesn’t like hearing this comparison.

Esme finally tracks down Fer (at home, I believe). They rehash what’s gone on and what she saw in the prison with Pizarro whipping Diego. She begs for Fernando to help, to save Diego. Fer seems moved. He tells Esme that Diego is in trouble because of the evidence they have against him. He goes on and says that Montero is making Diego pay the price because Fernando broke his word by retracting his permission for Monty to marry Esme. Fer—I don’t know if I can help him, but you need to go home, things are dangerous and your life could very well be in danger too. Esme thinks that Fer is refusing because he’s never cared for her. Esme leaves him and says that she’ll rescue Diego and she’ll pay any price to assure that he goes free.

In the Bat Cave, Padre Tom meets with a group of hooded men. We cannot see their whole faces. Padre Tom tells them that Diego has been arrested and he is an upstanding member of the community. They suggest that Zorro intervene and rescue Diego from the prison (OK, I was wondering if this group knew Zorro’s true identity, and it appears they don’t). Padre Tom tells them that Zorro is away on a mission and they need to act now.

The Cardinal meets with Maria Pia. He asks about Al, wasn’t the arrow really meant for the governor, Fernando Sanchez? Cardinal—Fernando is a tormented man. He cuts to the chase, “MP what is your relationship with the governor, Fernando Sanchez?” He tells her that he needs to determine her virtue before he can appoint her Mother Superior. Ella esta muy impactada.

Fer goes to check on Al. He and Dena talk and Dena tells him that Al’s Indian servant has been giving him aid. Dena covers for Yumi and does not tell Fer that Yumi was the one who tried to kill him. Fer orders the soldiers stationed in the house back to the prison. They offer a bit of resistance, and whine “but Cmdr. Montero said…..” They eventually decide it is in their best interest to listen to the governor and they file out (kinda sloppy looking). Fer mumbles that Al is his friend and he saved his life because that maldita india tried to kill him. Fer says that he’ll find her and kill her (the whole eye for an eye thing, but I need to remind Fer that he only has one eye left).

Upstairs, Yumi and Al are talking personally---it is kinda mushy and here I have to admit that the scenes between these two just bug me, like they are too sappy or something. Al begs Yumi not to go. Yumi tells him that he’ll live and if he doesn’t , well then she’ll take her own life. Al doesn’t look as bothered by this as I think I would be if someone said such a thing to me. Yumi goes on about how Al already has saved her life, and she is forever indebted to him. Al tells Yumi that now she’s saved his life, so they are one for one, a life for a life.

Padre Tom goes to visit Diego in prison.
Esme arrives at the prison in the middle of the night. She is taken in to see Montero. He makes some snide comment about how it doesn’t look good for her reputation for her to be visiting him in the middle of the night. She says that she is there to tell him she’ll accept his offer, she’ll marry him if he frees Diego. END OF EPISODE

Labels: Zorro

We start with a repeat of yesterday's episode in which Max walks into the blackmail plot among "Las Primas" and Octave. He asks again, "What secret?" referring to Camila and Sylvie's plot to extort $50 grand from Octave in exchange for their not telling Max that Diana has his bun in the oven. Lots of "miras impactadas" all around the room. What in heaven's name is Sylvie wearing? She looks like the 103^rd Dalmatian, except for the fuchsia wig.

Debora is sitting in Isabel's now-abandoned apartment, explaining to Andres how she took Marfil's place after Marfil ended up in a coma. Andres can't believe that Max hasn't figured it out. "Duh," says Debora, "we're IDENTICAL twins!" You can see that little pea-sized brain of Andres working over-time. Of course Debora isn't much brighter. The thought of Andres blackmailing her hasn't even occurred to her. This truly is a scene between Dumb and Dumber. I have to point out that Debora is wearing what appears to be a short rayon bathrobe. Do all rich vixens leave their homes in bathrobes? I guess I wouldn't know.

Diana and Diego are continuing their tasty meal of ramen noodles and fighting over Diana wanting to name the baby Max. As much of a psycho stalker as Diego is, I must say I have to side with him on this issue. It's totally lame on Diana's part to want to name the baby Max, while at the same time trying to convince everyone the baby's father is Diego who became a paraplegic the day of their wedding. Actually, I think Max is the only one in the entire cast of characters that doesn't know the baby's true dad. Diego gets even angrier as the scene progresses and finally he throws the plate of noodles across the room. He then rolls out of the room in a huff. Diana seems truly surprised by this display.

El licencio, Reynoso, has called F/G at Paco's bar. He has some news about her children. He has found the delinquent who stole her kids. F/G wants to talk to the delinquent "El Alacran" (AKA The Scorpion) right now. Reynoso says that's not possible, he has to make arrangements first, "But relax, you're going to find out about your daughters. I'll explain in person." After Reynoso hangs up, F/G tells Paco she's finally going to find out about her girls.

Camila asks Octave if they should speak or not. Octave tells Camila and Sylvie to wait outside while she talks to Max. After they strut their stuff out of Octave's office, Max asks Octave if she's going to explain what the heck is going on.

Debora is now trying to convince Andres not to tell Max about her impersonating Marfil. She tries to seduce him and tell him how much money is in it for him if he keeps her secret. Andres basically tells Debora she's full of it and he's not buying a word she's trying to sell him—she's a manipulator. The only problem, Debora points out, is if Marfil returns. She then tries to enlist Andres' help to kill Marfil.

Max is still trying to push Octave for an answer. Octave covers and says the secret has to do with how she ended up with F/G's fortune. Max calls her a thief and tells her she needs to give F/G back her money. Things start getting rather testy between mother and son. Yolanda-the-Peacemaker suggests they (Yolanda and Max) go to the mall to buy a little gift for Granny DS who has now recovered from her fever. Max, with the attention span of my cat Elwood, seems to forget about the whole "secret" thing and goes off to the mall.

Debora is still trying to use her feminine wiles on Andres. Lots of face touching, fondling, sweet-talking, kissing, etc. Andres seems to be playing along with her until he points out one thing to Debora. "I'm not a killer." Debora points out there's a first time for everything. . .Andres clearly isn't buying any of what Debora is selling. Debora gets mad and leaves. Andres thought bubbles, "I've hit the lottery now!"

Gaby tries to talk Diana into going to the mall to buy some things for the baby. Diana is reluctant at first, but puts down her knitting and says, "Ah shucks, why not?!"

Octave delivers the first $50,000 check and lets it fall to the floor at Camila's feet. Sylvie dives down to get it, all but salivating. Octave says "It's the only check you're getting from me." Camila says "Au contraire. This is the first monthly installment." At this point the elevator opens up and it's Emili-Oh. He wants to know what's going on. Camila tells him to ask the witch. Camila and Sylvia hop aboard the elevator with their new-found wealth. Octave tells Emili-Oh to step in to her office. Poor Emili-Oh!

Max and Yolanda are strolling arm in arm at the mall discussing what happened between F/G and Octave. Yolanda is trying to make peace. Gaby and Diana are strolling arm in arm at the same mall, discussing clothing for the baby. You know where this is going...WHAM!!!! Diana sees Max and is impactada. Max is clueless as always. We're then treated to a commercial.

Emili-Oh asks if Camila is extorting money. Octave tells him that Camila is threatening to tell Max that Diana is having Max's baby. Emili-Oh is speechless. I'm not really sure, but I believe it has something to do with Octave threatening to fire Emili-Oh if Camila says a word to Max. Octave concludes by saying "Don't worry, I'm going to pay the money." ***Is there someone out there who can clarify this exchange for me? ***

Gaby pulls Diana behind a display of belts as Max and Yolanda walk by. Of course Max doesn't see them. As Yolanda and Max are walking by, Gaby and Diana pop out of hiding. "Whew, Max almost saw I was pregnant!" Diana then waxes poetic about Max and how good he looks. Gaby states Diana is looking through the eyes of love. Ugh!

Debora is telling Bruno about Andres and how she has him under her thumb. We have a nice close-up view of Debora's cleavage for all you guys out there who care. Bruno is worried that Andres is going to rat out Debora, but Debora decides if Andres gets to be a threat, she'll just kill him.

Dinner at the happy Soriana household. Wait a minute, Diego is sitting in his chair glowering. I guess not everyone is happy. The three women are nattering on and on about the baby clothes when Granny M asks Diego why he's not as excited as they are. Diego asks why he should care about a baby that isn't his and won't even be carrying his name!!! He seemed just fine with it nine months ago when he was coercing Diana to marry him. I can understand why he's mad, but the moron knew what he was getting into when he was stalking and strong-arming Diana. That alone wipes out the sympathy factor in my book.

Yolanda and Max are showing Granny DS all the gifts they bought her. Granny DS wants to know if they bought her a new doll. "But you've got thousands already," says Max. "One can never have too many dolls," replies Granny. Max is trying to coax Granny to eat. Granny then starts in with how much she misses Diana and wants to see her. Max tells her unfortunately that won't be possible.

Diana and Diego are in the bedroom with that horrible, creepy painting in the background. Diana is asking Diego why he's not as excited about the baby as everyone else, and keeps wanting to show him all the "cute new clothes." We're then treated to the same discussion about Diana's insistence on naming the baby Max, and how it's such an insult to Diego. Finally Diana admits she can "kinda, sorta" see Diego's point. Could the glassy look in Diana's eyes possibly be getting clearer? Nah, false alarm. Diego laments that he really thought Diana would love him and forget about Max by now, but he doesn't think she ever will. This whole scene reminds me of those scenes in "When Harry Met Sally." Remember how Sally's best friend kept whining that her married boyfriend was never going to leave his wife and how Sally finally told her "Of course he's not!"? Déjà vu here.

F/G is in her room with Paco and pouring herself a drink. She is waiting for Reynoso to visit. F/G is wearing some black and white polka-dot dress that looks like it gave birth to Sylvie's black and white spotted outfit. F/G's dress has a bright yellow obi with another one of those cabbage-sized flowers. There's a knock on the door and it's Lorenzo. F/G has a visitor. Reynoso walks in and says he was able to track down "El Alacran" in jail. Would she like to go talk to him? ***Would I like to have the winning lottery numbers?!***

Rene is fondling a cherub's butt when Yolanda walks into the room. He calls her "Bomboncita" again. Yolanda gets flustered and asks him to stop calling her that. Rene asks her to go dancing with him and Peyote, but Yolanda turns him down. She's likes quiet activities like reading and watching movies. She then asks him to take care of Peyote and not let her take drugs. Peyote is a good girl. "You can count on me!" exclaims Rene with an exaggerated wink and a grin, showing off his adorable 6-foot deep dimples. Too bad he's such a goof.

Diana is now adjusting Diego's pillow in her old twin-sized bed. There is one other twin bed in that room that is/used to be Gaby's. What's with the sleeping arrangements now? At any rate, Diana is tucking Diego into bed. He tells her after the baby is born he doesn't want her going back to work. He wants her to stay at the house and take care of him and the baby. Gaby can work. Diana says she needs to work. Diego asks her if she wants to work to earn money or if it's just an excuse to see Max again. Diana yells that she's tired of his jealousy and accusations (in fact, so am I!). She points out that she's a decent woman. Diego retorts that a decent woman doesn't get herself knocked up by a married man! Diana stomps out as Diego is screaming at her to come back--he's not finished with what he has to say. I think he is finished at this point.

Reynoso tells F/G and Paco that "El Alacran" is on his death bed in jail. F/G and Paco are convinced they will now find out the truth about the children he stole from F/G.

Rene is swearing to Yolanda he's never done drugs. He's straight, a university student, etc. The only things he takes are vitamin supplements. A public service announcement about drugs follows. Finally we are saved by Peyote flouncing down the stairs. She's ready to P-A-R-T-Y!!! Larry follows Peyote downstairs, but tells Rene he's not going to join them, he has to work. Rene calls him "Grandpa." After Rene and Peyote leave, Yolanda sits Larry down for a fire-side chat.

"Larry, why aren't you happy? Pilar is back, but you still seem miserable." Larry wants to know if Octave knows. "Of course not," says Yolanda, "she'd go through the roof." Larry admits to Aunt Yolanda that although Pilar is back, he's just not fulfilled. Pilar bores him, etc. L—"I just don't understand why I feel this way! All I can do is think about Gaby. I'm so confused!" Yolanda, in sage mode, tells him "I know what the problem is. You're in love with your wife!" Love theme music plays, Larry is still confused, and we cut to three hundred commercials.

Little Doormat has just appeared at Paco's bar. Caramel is trying to cheer her up; Gaby needs to forget Lunkhead. Gaby says she'll never forget him. Caramel points out Gaby is young and has her whole life in front of her-she just needs to get rid of the 1980's glasses and modernize her frumpy attire. Caramel says with a make-over, she'll meet a bunch of guys. "Speaking of guys, there's this gorgeous waiter that works here. You need to meet him!" Gaby points out that Caramel is a married woman. "Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't read the menu!" She then calls over Bar-Stud Jorge to meet Gaby. They shake hands and just as Jorge tells Gaby she's pretty, Andres shows up and is a total buzz-kill. "If it isn't the blind and gray sister of Diana!"

Debora shows up in Max's room in a sexy little yellow acetate item with black stockings and garters. She announces that she's ready for some action. Max, who is bare-chested, is reading a book and clearly not interested. Debora then goes into her "Chihuahua on Crack" mode. "Why don't you want me? You haven't touched me in months." Blah blah blah. Max tells her to lower her voice, he doesn't want to fight. I can't blame him for not wanting to listen to that incessant screeching. He tells her he's not interested in her "as a woman" and throws her across the bed.

Lunkhead denies he loves Gaby. Yolanda assures him he'll figure it out one day. Yolanda walks out, Lunkhead sits down with his "pensive look," and Larry and Gaby's love theme plays in the background.

Andres continues with his insults. Caramel tells him if he doesn't behave he'll have to leave. Andres says he hasn't come to make trouble and orders a whiskey and ice. Gaby decides it's time to leave. Bar-Stud kisses her cheek and says it's nice to have met her.

More caterwauling from Max's bedroom, when the phone rings. A voice asks for "Debora." Debora is impactada. Max tells the voice (AKA Andres) there is no "Debora" at this number. Max hangs up and announces he's going to sleep in the guest room. Debora is furiosa and calls both Max and Andres stupid. Now them's fightin' words!

Some local daytime filler scenes of Miami. I guess this means it's the next day.

Granny M and Diana are sharing breakfast on the patio. "Where's Diego?" asks Granny. "He's talking to Pancho," replies Diana. Granny M admits she heard the fight last night. Diana says it's strange, but Diego seems to get worse every day. Granny, clearly showing the wisdom of her years, points out perhaps Diego and Diana's marriage was a mistake. No putting one past ol' Granny, that's for sure. . .

Andres is talking on the cell phone to Debora who is poolside. Or dock side, as the case may be. Debora is yipping at him for calling and talking to Max the night before. Andres says she's in no position to be barking at him, since she's the imposter. He can send her to jail. Debora is impactada.

Pilar and Larry are fighting on the dock. What's with the guys in this show having one half of their shirts tucked in and the other half hanging out? Pilar is squawking about Larry being afraid to confront his mother. She wants to marry him soon! Finally Larry tells Pilar the two of them are finished. Pilar clearly doesn't think that's the case.

Back to breakfast at Chez Soriano. Granny M is telling Diana she needs to buy a new bathrobe for when she's in the hospital. Diana agrees. The bathrobe she has is old and faded.

Andres is continuing to threaten Debora. He's going to come by and talk to her in a couple of hours. If she's not there, he's going to tell Max that Debora wants Marfil killed. Debora says fine, she'll meet him, but she wants to meet at Isabel's old apartment. Debora ends the call and keeps telling herself that she has Andres in the palm of her hands. She's clearly nervous—and delusional. It's nice to see she's met her match.

F/G and Paco are at the jail in El Alacran's room. F/G flashes back to the day that her children were stolen by Octave and her gang of thugs. Lots of coughing and belabored breathing by El Alacran. F/G and Paco demand to know what happened to the children. Suspenseful music plays as the scene ends.

Granny M and Diana are shopping for bathrobes at the mall. Granny announces she needs to use the restroom. TMI. Diana says she'll wait right there. Meanwhile Max is yapping on his cell phone to Granny DS. "Yes, I'm going to buy you a beautiful new doll." Diana and Max's love theme plays in the background. Suddenly Max and Diana see each other. Diana grabs her belly for emphasis. Max has the look of constipation again. He looks at her belly. "You're pregnant!!! Is that my baby?" Close-up of Max's face looking at either Diana's chest or her belly. Close-up of a hand scratching a pregnant belly. Suspenseful music! Glassy-eyed stares! Credits roll!!!

Labels: acorralada