Wednesday, January 13, 2010

ENDA Tuesday January 12. The kiss of death for Germán’s soul?

Stuff we just haven’t had enough of: In the prison yard, Thugly and Snidekick decide to pound some guilt into Cris’s innocent face. Chucho gets sucked into the melee. The guards break it up and send Cris off to see his visitor, whether he wants to go or not (he does not).

And his instincts are right on, as his visitor is none other than Crueloca, the Heifer from Hell, decked out in a cow-print blouse. She claims she knows everything, then instantly refutes that by asking whether Madeleine Martell is another of his conquests. The Crazy Cow offers Cris one last-chance Get Out of Jail Free card, at the low, low price of spending his life making sweet, sweet lurve to her. He’d rather rot in prison. This was not a chapter in He’s Just Not That Into You*, so of course she may still think he’s into her. Playing hard to get, doncha know? She throws a fit, and Cris finally escapes to the relative peace and luxury of the prison yard.

New stuff: Germán tries to give Eric orders in the office. Eric is having none of it, because Germs does not outrank him. Not for long, says Germy. Eric threatens to break Germy’s face if he doesn’t give it up. Germy says he’s just jealous because Liliana would come running if he snapped his fingers. Snap all you want; we’re splitsville, says Eric. He also thinks it’s pathetic that Germy thinks racking up more notches makes him more manly. Honestly, these two have one of the most passionate and long-lasting relationships on this show, next to Cruel and Cris.

Licenciado Cordero’s secretary or paralegal or whoever asks him whether he really thinks the priest is guilty. He says what he thinks doesn’t matter; people say he’s guilty, and this is his job. He just needs a little more proof to be sure. He finds the envelope which appeared while they were out, marked all over with “Confidential” and “Regarding the Case of Padre Juan Cristóbal” and whatnot. He puts it aside to look at later, and gets back to his files. Cats (unlike puppies and birds) must live long, long lives in Real del Monte, because there is like NO curiosity in the entire pueblo.

Germán interrogates Rufi about the value of Misery Manor and the gentlemen callers of Carlota and Paloma. Rufi clearly wishes there were knockout drops in the coffee she’s serving him, but fortunately Carloca shows up to meet with him and Rufi is spared further temptation to wring his neck. In Carloca’s office, she tells him she wants him to take Cris down. He wants the prestige that would come from winning the case. She tells him he can gain prestige in other cases, but she will pay him well to lose this one. He just needs to find someone who will claim to have witnessed Alonso being run over by the truck, Carlota suggests, as she slowly strolls around Germy and checks out his rump (yes, really). Well, Germs is not totally asleep on the job. “How do you know he was run over by a truck?” he asks, looking at her sharply.

Paloma goes to Gabriel’s studio and shows him the painting she’s been working on. He says it is amazing (it is bad). It’s just like the painting he was doing (also bad)!

{Everyone get your barf buckets ready at this point.}

So Carloca says she heard from someone about the truck. Small town, you know. He pretends to accept that. She makes him sit down about two millimeters in front of her, and gets right in his face and says she wants him to court Paloma. He’s surprised. He always thought Carloca was serious, recatada (circumspect, modest), but as he gets to know her, he marvels, and thinks she is just the most beautiful woman in the whole house! (Way to not overstate the case, Germs). Well, given that Carloca can take “I hate you and want nothing to do with you, EVER” as a “maybe” you can imagine how she reacts to that. She plants a big, gropy, tonsil-tango smooch on him. Does he get into it? Oh yes, he does.

One of Diana’s poker friends, also apparently a friend of Camila, goes to Camila’s shop and confesses to her that she is in big trouble, having lost a lot of money playing poker. She explains about Samuel playing. Camila is shocked to hear that Samuel and Diana are…something we’d rather not think about.

Over at the Anguished Artists’ Mutual Admiration Society meeting, Gabriel tells Paloma he has not come to Real del Monte in vain; she is exactly what he’s been looking for. “Huh?” she responds. “Never mind, just understand that everything I have will be yours.” She doesn’t appear to understand that much better, but Emiliano calls just then to invite her to come with him to visit the baby. Gabriel glares jealously at the phone.

Angélica wonders what Emiliano’s up to. He says the baby needs affection to thrive, and Romina can’t or won’t give it. Ange agrees it’s good for the baby to have Paloma around, but says it is not good for Emiliano. He needs to leave her alone to avoid temptation and let her move on with her life.

La Loca and Germs are still madly making out. His jacket is off and his shirt unbuttoned. “Tell me you love me, Cristóbal!” she pants. Screeeeech. Germy pulls away, everything suddenly clear. When he starts accusing Carloca, she shrieks at him to leave. He flees. She trashes her desk and yells “Te odio, Cristóbal!” over and over. Out in the hall, Rufi looks alarmed.

Cris tells Orlando he wants to find a way to make Carlota tell the truth and show what she’s really like. Orly, always one to dismiss the problems of others, says probably everything will work out in the trial. Cris gives Orlando a letter to give to Natalia. Supposing Cris is out of prison in a few days, says Orly, does he think he’ll get together with Natalia? “What is wrong with you?” says Cris’s expression. “Well, why not? You’re no longer a priest, Macarena is gone, and Natalia is a widow. You could start over and have a family,” says Orlando. Cris looks thoughtful.

Paloma tells Gabriel she’s finished the sketch she’s been working on. “Great; see you next class,” Gabriel snottily replies, not really looking up from the Virgen painting he’s restoring. “Don’t you want to look at it?” No, he doesn’t. She’s dismissed. Paloma is not to be gotten rid of so easily, she’s hurt and confused and asks him what’s going on. A few rounds of “Nothing; see you later.” “We’re friends. Tell me what’s wrong.” “I’m your teacher, and I say we’re done.” “Are you mad at me?” “It’s not you, it’s me.” “What?” “Fine. You stay and I’ll go.” Gabriel leaves and Paloma has no idea what has just happened.

Carloca stomps up the stairs. Rufi goes into the office and sees the mess. “Carlota and Germán?! I can’t believe it!”

You know, the shower scenes in this novela are really subpar. This one features La Loca. She furiously rinses while remembering the nasty germy smooch. Her eye makeup does not move, even with rubbing.

Mónica and Camila hope the news about Samuel and Diana is only gossip, but Camila says maybe Diana thought it was the perfect vengeance against Camila. She tells Mónica she can believe Samuel would do it to try to scam Diana. In fact, she saw him with Carlota one day and suspects he was up to the same thing with her. Camila leaves a message for Samuel to call her.

Samuel is playing cards and drinking with Diana, and ignores the beeping phone. He claims Camila has been pestering him since he returned to Real del Monte, always wanting to get together. She’s probably tired of her fiancé, that pelmazo (pain in the heinie), and having a midlife crisis besides, now that she’s a grandmother. Diana looks a little offended at that, but Samuel quickly covers by saying that no one would guess she is also a grandmother. Sammy wants to keep playing poker, but Diana says he’s won all her money. He suggests strip poker instead. She’s titillated. His jacket comes off. Her shoes. Her jacket. Her blouse. Her skirt. Her wig.

Romina calls the furniture store to ask why her delivery is taking so long. The furniture lady says they have no record of her order. Then a nurse calls to tell her the baby is stable, but needs his mother to come visit him; it’s vital to help him thrive. Romina says she’ll see if she can get around to it, but in the meantime, take good care of him, okey-dokey? Buh-bye.

Liliana finds Eric on the street and tells him she’s missed him terribly and wants to get back together. He says he loves her, but she doesn’t really love him. She says she does. He says unless she is absolutely sure, she should stay away from him. Lili cries.

Luz lets herself into Gabriel’s place and hunts around looking for him. Yes, she is one of those women who calls, “You-hoooo!” (It’s spelled yuju en español). She finds a sketch of a girl with bangs and braids and seems enchanted by it. Luz writes a note: “Gabriel, where are you? I’m stealing your sketch (bosquejo).” She needs to learn some boundaries.

Gabriel is out pacing in the park. Sandra calls from her sickbed and asks what’s the deal with him taking Paloma to graduation. “Sorry, gotta go,” he says, and hangs up. Romina strolls up, looking remarkably trim. “Hola, guapo,” she says flirtily.

Paloma helps Rufi with some baking. “Mamá’s recipe,” comments Paloma happily. “Yes, your father loved this,” says Rufi. Paloma gets mad and says she doesn’t want to hear anything about that man. Rufi tells her not to believe what he said. Maybe if Rufi would just tell Paloma the truth already, she could have something real to believe. Paloma’s still annoyed, so Rufi tells her the hot gossip about Carlota and Germán to distract her. She says they were shut up in the office for hours and hours (REALLY?! That was some kiss! I’m glad we got the condensed version!) and then Germs left in a hurry and Tia Loca had a fit. Rufi is just saying that she doesn’t think Carlota will attend the trial when the purple cow walks in and says certainly not. No one should. Paloma says she is definitely going. Carloca says fine, but she’s going to hear some very ugly things about Cris and Natalia.

Gabriel asks about Romina’s baby, which she uses as a lead-in to trash-talk Paloma and grope Gabe a bit while asking if he has the hots for Paloma. Gabriel suddenly feels the need to get back to work. “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,” Romina says to herself.

Germán visits Doc Bermúdez. Doc tells him that he and Emiliano doubt the baby’s paternity. Germán says they already did a test. Doc says even so, things just don’t square, and he wants to do another test. Germy says no test; he doesn’t want to know. In his mind, he says if Carlota found out he was the father of Romina’s baby, his scheme with her would be over. (Oh, the irony! Carlota is the one who got the first test faked. I love that Germy still thinks he has the upper hand and hasn’t grasped that Carlota is the root of all Real del Monte evil). Doc B calls him a coward. Germs doesn’t care. He wants to dar la carpetaza to the whole subject (I’m guessing that’s like file it away; be done with it).

Gabriel is hard at work when his dad drops in and can sense something is wrong. Gabriel says he wants to finish up his work and skip town as soon as possible, because he is in love with Paloma. They have a little staring contest. Eugenio is thrilled. Falling in love is great! Gabriel doesn’t like it. Besides, he says, you know my secret, and that I can’t have ataduras (have ties? Relations? Something like that?). Eugenio says finding love is a blessing and he should just go with it. Gabriel wants to use his time to pass on his knowledge and skill. Aww, it’s kind of sweet that his dad just can’t break it to him that he sucks at art. Dad says that love isn’t a waste of time. Sure, I feel that, says Gabe, but what about after?

[I’m leaning toward brain tumor as the diagnosis. It might explain some of the delusions and mood swings. There are also hints pointing toward HIV, but that is very treatable these days, so while I would understand his reluctance to have relations, I’m not sure it would explain the fatalistic “I have limited time” attitude. Then again, this is a telenovela, so regular medical facts need not apply. Then AGAIN, I have learned everything I pretend to know about medicine from television.]

Chava gives Emiliano a tiny pair of soccer shoes and a little soccer ball for the baby. He says he’s going to Padre JC’s trial to support him, which is the very least he can do after all PJC has done for him. Chava hopes someday he can help Emo’s son the way Emo helped him (is he saying he hopes Samito will be an alcoholic dropout?) and he wants to be just like Emo when he grows up. Big hug.

Orlando gives Natalia the letter from Cris. It says he’s very sorry he’s gotten her into this situation and to have faith that soon they will be free. Nat says it is not his fault. Orlando tells her that surely Carlota is responsible, motivated by her sick and twisted obsession with Cris. “Inconceivable!” says Nat. Orly tries to cheer her up a bit and agrees to try to make arrangements for Ivonne to come and visit.

Paloma admires the baby. Emiliano shows up with his friend Alejandro, who is visiting from Guanajuato. Alejandro plays the recorder therapeutically for the baby. Sammy isn’t screaming, so I guess he likes it okay. Paloma tells Emiliano he’s a super good dad. He says she’ll be a great mom someday. He ponders sadly the idea of her in love with another. The hospital staff comes to the window to find out what the hell that noise is…er, I mean, to marvel at the beautiful healing scene.

Germán fetches Cris. It’s time to go. Cris says he hopes the facts will come to light, especially since Natalia has a daughter and it’s about time for their annual two-hour mother-daughter visit. He might not have said that last part.

*I’m guessing; I didn’t actually read it.

Mañana: The trial. Seriously?! Neither the prosecution nor the defense has done any investigating!

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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sortilegio, Tuesday, January 12--Ep #65: Raquel is wasting away again in Vodkaville.

At the shop, Chucho gabs to Meche and Gabriel about how happy Pedro was to see his daughters. Pedro is doing better from his prison beatings and he might be getting out soon. And also Alex and MaryJo are getting married, woo hoo! Gabriel wants to know how Paula is doing and Chucho says she's not getting married yet. Chucho gives Gabriel the advice to forget about Paula--she flies too high for him.

Team Evil discuss Maura's hesitations. She thinks there's too much risk of something going wrong. But then again, she's just going to give them a date and a time, she won't be getting her hands dirty. Jorge repeats that MJ will live a life of luxury and Maura will have Alex. And what about Ulises? Jorge says they bought him off and he went to Argentina. Maura is surprised. Jorge claims he never lies. He asks Maura to tell him more about the Lombardo family.

Roberto and Paula check out the new baby in her incubator. Paula comments that she's tiny and alone. Roberto says she's missing the alcohol that mommy used to give her. Paula wants to rip Raquel's eyes out. Get in line, sister. They go have lunch.

Alex, MaryJo, Fernando, and Vicky talk shop. Alex wants Fernando to be Veep. He suggests giving it to Bruno, but MJ won't hear of it. She doesn't think he deserves it and Vicky has to agree. Fernando tries to talk them into it as a reconciliation gesture. MJ doesn't think there will ever be a reconciliation.

Upstairs, she keeps evading Alex's questions about whether Bruno has said something to her. She sidesteps by asking why he asked Maura to find them a house. Alex laughs and says he asked Mari to do it, but Maura overheard. MJ has a fit when Alex insists he's talked to her and she understands she can't have him. Yeah, if he believes that, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell him. MJ insists that Maura did it to be closer to Alex. Alex says Maura's wasting her time because he loves MJ. She's his life and his love. But she's sick of Maura being around. He wheedles a smile and a kiss out of her and, of course, it works. Behold the power of William Levy.

Vicky and Fernando are still arguing about the Veepship. He doesn't want people saying that Vicky gave it to him. He can't handle their secret love anymore. He wants to go shout to the four winds that he luuuuuuurves her. She accuses him of "desvariando" (being delirious). She wants to break up with him because people won't accept her being with a younger man and yes, she does actually care what other people think. Your loss, lady. She also has too much stuff going on and she just wants some peace, already. Fernando asks her if he's a problem for her and she says he is. It was a lovely moment, a dream, and all dreams have to end. But Fernando doesn't want it to end. Vicky cries (and probably lies) and says she does. Tears all around.

Elena reports back to Jorge after taking Maura to the airport. She says they didn't talk about it on the way--she didn't want to "agobiarla" (overwhelm her). He agrees. Finally, for once he's not calling her an idiot and berating her.

They continue discussing it at dinner. Jorge thinks Maura is the one who's an idiot for refusing their deal. He doesn't think Maura has the "agallas" (guts) to do this. Elena thinks it's all about Maura being young. But she also doesn't think that Maura is going to go blabbing to anyone. Elena wonders if they should tell Porfirio the truth, but Jorge says no. He goes off to try to revive Sandra again.

Maura and Bruno walk into Maura's place. Bruno rudely dismisses the maid after she tells them that Lisette is out with Katia. Bruno starts questioning her about MJ's mom and secret twin. He grabs her by the throat, so she gives up the info that MaryJo's mom and mom's husband want to kidnap MaryJo so that she can pass as her twin. Bruno lets go of her throat.

Fernando mopes at home.

Vicky gets all negative and pessimistic and Felipa tries, very gently, to make her see that she's being an idiot. Vicky claims that all men want to get married and have kids and she doesn't want to rob him of that. Riiiiight. Felipa doesn't think he's going to just get over her just like that. Vicky says she'll never forget him.

Bruno tells Maura she should be happy. She can get MJ out of the way and have Alex all to herself. He's going to get in contact with Elena and Jorge and offer to help them out. He thinks it's strange, though, that Ulises would have taken off to Argentina when there's such a big wad of cash involved. Yeah, that does look a little fishy. Bruno sarcastically points to his neck and says he hopes she feels better, then he leaves.

Raquel is shouting out the window that she's not a child and they can't torture her like that. She goes running out of the house with the nurse following her. She runs into Bruno and starts begging him for help as he walks out with his rolling suitcase. She's begs him for a drink. He says she's nuts and he doesn't want to put up with a drunk. She reminds him that she voted for him, but he keeps walking away.

The family, the sane and non-evil members of the family anyway, are sitting down to breakfast. Mr. 5ft comments that they're eating pancakes, but I have to break it to him that in Spanish they're called "hotcakes". He may never get over the disillusionment. MaryJo and Vicky are chatting about having the wedding reception in the garden when Raquel walks in. I have to pause it for a minute, because Raquel has been drinking so much and for so long that even though she's been sober for, what, a day and a half, it is still possible to get drunk off her fumes when she's on screen. So I try not to inhale too much at once. Anyway, she's complaining about being an adult and they can't treat her like this, blah, blah, blah. Not making the best case for herself. She circles the table, screaming at them all. She's going to divorce Roberto and she doesn’t care what happens to the kid. You all suck, quit looking at me like I'm crazy, who do you think you are, mom's a slut, MJ and Paula are trailer trash, Ulises has left me and you all hate me, I never asked for your help, blah, blah, blah. Alex tells her if she wants to, she can get the hell out of the house, minus the car and the credit cards. She tries to assert her right to her monthly allowance, like Daddy stipulated in his will. Oh, you mean the will you and that jackass Bruno wanted invalidated? Yeah, Princess, that means no allowance for you. Her brilliant plan is to live off the dividend checks from the company stock, sell off her jewelry to buy alcohol, and prostitute herself in the meantime. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out (but perhaps I'm being too optimistic too soon). MJ whines that Alex was too hard on her. Roberto also wants Alex to reconsider, but Alex thinks maybe if they let her go, Raquel will save herself.

Alex goes outside to tell Arturo that he's to drop Raquel off anywhere she wants, but not leave her the car and then watch her, discreetly, during the day. Augustin will watch her at night--those are their new assignments. Quit, dudes. I'm telling you, unless he adds a zero to the end of your paycheck, it's just not worth it.

Vicky goes upstairs and cries. Same old song. Raquel needs compassion, Alex went too far, blah, blah. Felipa tries to be the voice of reason, but Vicky never listens. Alex comes in to check on Vicky. He tells her that he's having the guys watch her. And also, he's going to have Hernán recommend a psychologist because they're all having a rough time. He doesn't think Raquel can get into much trouble without a car. Felipa figures she'll just get herself good and drunk and then sleep it off somewhere.

Raquel has Arturo go into a liquor store and buy her a case of vodka. Dumbass. She then goes to Uli's place, which is technically hers since she paid for it for a year. Arturo sets the box on the bar and then leaves. He explains that he's not supposed to leave her the keys, but she throws magazines at him. I'm not clear on whether he actually did leave her the keys or not.

Elena is rubbing down a horse when Bruno shows up. That's not a euphemism. She assumes that Katia sent him, being his girlfriend and all. Bruno says she was never his girlfriend. He's here to talk about MaryJo.

MaryJo whines to Alex about letting Raquel leave. QTH do you think he should have done? He doesn't get an answer to that question either. Arturo calls to report in and I'm guessing since Alex said "thanks" that he didn't leave Raquel with the car keys. Alex tells MJ that Raquel is holed up at Ulises' place, but they stopped off for a box of vodka first.

Elena introduces Bruno to Jorge and tells him that Bruno is here about MaryJo. Jorge gripes that Maura spilled her guts to him and Bruno grins and says she did need a little persuading. Jackass. Jorge doesn't think Bruno can be trusted, but Bruno breaks into his country western number about how Alex took away the love of his ma and his pa and his best girl and he stole his truck (well, ok, the presidency of the company) and danged if he don't want that no-good varmint dead. Jorge probably thinks it sounds like Bruno will be a good ally, but his face doesn't look like it.

Hernán comes over and explains to the family that the only way to have Raquel locked up against her will is in a psychiatric institution. Vicky, of course, objects. Hernán agrees with Alex's decision, painful though it is. He hopes that Raquel will hit rock bottom and then decide to quit. Roberto is concerned that she's at Ulises' place all alone and he can't get hold of her on the phone. Vicky is upset still that Alex let her leave, but Alex says she could have gone at any time and at least this way they know where she is and she's being watched. Hernán says she won't get clean until she wants to and Alex is right. Alex proposes to Paula that she propose to Meche that she offer Raquel her services as a maid.

Over tequilas, Bruno assures Mr. and Mrs. Evil that Maura's not going to open her mouth, she has too much to lose and too much to gain. He is worried about Ulises, though, but Jorge says not to worry about it--and when he says not to worry, he says it because he knows he's right. Bruno also brings up the fact that Fernando's uncle lives near there and Fernando knows both MJ and Bruno. And this presents a problem, why? Oh, because Bruno isn't after money as the price of his help, he wants MJ, or should he say, Sandra.

Lucero really looks awesome in those Oil of Olay commercials. She's, like, glowing.

At the beach club, Fernando and Alex get caught up on gossip. Raquel is at Ulises' and Vicky broke up with Fernando. I feel like I'm shortchanging you on a lot of these conversations, but the problem is it's the same old arguments they've been having forever, so unless I hear some interesting vocabulary it all just sounds like blah, blah, blah to me. Trust me, you're not missing any new material. Fernando is pissed that Vicky is doing the thinking for him. Well, then maybe you should just never date. Ever. Fer can't handle her wishy-washyness. A couple of skanks come up to hang out with them. Alex grins as he confirms that he did get divorced, but denies that he's with Maura now. Fernando's snank du nuit tries to get him to dance, but he refuses. Alex grins again as he tells his skank that he's got to go home 'cause his woman's waiting for him…uh, didn't you get divorced…*grin*.

Ezequiel greets Alex. He doesn't go to sleep until everyone's home. Bruno isn't home, but EZ doesn't know where he went. Arturo reported in to say that Raquel hasn't left the apartment. Alex goes upstairs.

Tiny Tony sleeps. As does his nurse, at least until Alex comes in to say hi. Rosi (the nurse) draws the curtain around TT's crib.

Alex watches MJ sleep, turns out the lights, and starts undressing. Damn, those pants are tight.

Vicky thought bubbles more poetry and cries.

Alex snuggles up with MJ and wakes her up. He tells her that Vicky broke up with Fernando. They discuss Vicky and Fer's relationship and the nature of luuuuuurve. And then they talk about how they luuuuuuurve each other. Mr. 5ft has to pull out the old joke when he sees on the closed captioning that Alex loves MJ "tanto, tanto, tanto." People, that means "a lot" not "sidekick of the Lone Ranger."

Bruno and Maura show up outside the company. Bruno tells her "it's all arranged" and that he thinks the old guy killed Ulises. Inside, it's time for another board (bored) meeting. They're voting on a new veep. Alex proposes Fernando. Bruno gripes. Maura thinks it should be another family member, therefore Bruno. Vicky proposes Hernán. No one else has any suggestions. Maura and Raquel vote Bruno. Vicky, MJ, and Alex vote for Hernán. The shady board members vote for Hernán. Bruno is pissed. He tries to throw the one guy's notebook off the table, but the guy's got it too tightly under his arm. Bruno bitches at his mom and Hernán and leaves. Everyone else starts congratulating Hernán.

At La Nueva Casa Borracha (aka, Raquel's), Meche is trying to get hired as a maid. Raquel doesn't really want to her about her qualifications or lack thereof. She just wants Meche to do her job and then go home. She asks how much Meche wants to be paid.

Meche tells Chucho and Gabriel that she got hired, but it's gonna suck working for Raquel. Chucho reminds her they owe Alex a lot. Gabriel chimes in and says it won't be for long, because an art dealer saw some of his carvings and wants to sell them at a hotel in downtown. Gabriel didn't ask how much he'd get paid and Chucho chews him out about it. Meche thinks Gabe will get to be important, but Chucho says people like them don't get to be important, that's why "primero engordamos la marrana y ya luego comemos chicharron" (first we fatten up the pig, then we eat fried pig skin).

Lisette is going out dancing with Katia. Maura tells her she looks pale even with all the makeup and asks if she's been to the doctor. Lisette spins around to show just how fine she is and says she doesn't need a doctor. So there. She leaves as the phone rings. Bruno tells Maura they've got to do the thing this week and she can't back out. Bruno advises her to behave naturally and she won't get caught. He reminds her she can have free access to Alex after this. She asks him "When?"

Katia and Lisette run into Fernando at the club, talking to the skank. Katia praises her on her youth. They continue picking on Fernando's taste in women, so he takes off.

Felipa brings Vicky a tea as Fernando calls Vicky's cell. She ignores it.

Raquel moans on the couch as Meche tries to get her to eat something. She throws a tantrum and says she just wants to be alone.

Meche reports back to Chucho and Paula about how Raquel just drinks all day long. Gabriel tries to make an excuse for her drinking ("maybe she just got depressed and that's how she started, maybe she caught her husband with someone else") but Paula won't hear it. Roberto's just the greatest guy and Raquel didn't know how to appreciate him. They get into an argument and Paula tells him to shut it. Gabriel's grinning like he likes it when Paula yells at him. Or maybe what he likes is that she's paying attention to him for a change. Chucho tells them to cut it out and asks Paula for the latest news from jail.

Alex gets a call from his lawyer, who says Pedro can get out today. Alex tells the lawyer to go ahead and pay. He's also sending the helicopter to bring them back faster and he wants the lawyer to buy Pedro some clothes.

And that's all for today. Tomorrow: Bruno tells Maura that the kidnapping will happen in 2 days; Alex surprises everyone with Pedro at dinner; the old dude is informed that Sandra's coming home in 2 days; MaryJo stupidly gets into a car with Maura. Also stupid on Maura's part since Felipa knows they left together. Whoo! It's Ultimas Semanas!

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Gancho Tuesday Jan. 12, 2010 Warm And Sunny Today But Heavy Thunderstorms Predicted For Tomorrow

Remember those hot sultry evenings of summer when the heat lightning started to flash, the hot moist air wrapped around you like a cloak and you knew an incredible storm was coming? Tonight was kind of like that. Lots of hot loving, some raunchy, some semi-chaste, some tender and sweet...but oh my, you could feel the storm clouds gathering.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. When last we met, Monita and Mauricio were wrapped up together and Carlos was breathing into a paper bag. (Glad that martini cooled you down, hot lips!) Monita finally admits she knew it was Mauricio all along and as usual he's confused, but what the heck, why worry that there doesn't seem to be much brain power behind those nice eyes. He's happy; she's happy.

So on to Beto and Constanza. Oh no, he's still got on his socks! and they're black. I need to cover my eyes. Also need to cover my ears. Connie's idea of post-coital nuzzling is to talk about how she's going to take all Mauricio's money and his kids as well. Beto wonders why she has to be so mean. We do too. What a Rottweiler.

So, wanna go back to M& M? To tell the truth, they're a bit insipid. You know, the usual: I love you. I love you more. Now I have not only the man of my life but the man of my dreams. Okay. Enough, right?

Back to serpent woman. The clever witch is about to figure out that Beto must have been the double in the Furia Enmascarada disguise but he cleverly throws her off track with loud macho declarations of Mauricio hate, and a volley of kicks on various pieces of furniture. He's thumping, he's growling, he's got her fooled for now but as she hugs him and coos "You're going to help me ruin him, aren't you?, he gets that Whoops look on his face. Yep, Beto's between a rock and a hard place. Or will be soon.

So whassup back with Maricio and Monita? Well, not much. Mauricio, ever the gentleman, isn't about to get to criterion behavior with his beloved temptress. That would make her "la otra", the mistress, and he can't do that to her. They'll have to wait until his divorce is final. She thanks him for his courtesy. Big waste of a tiger dress if you ask me. But I understand the concept. I wasn't raised Presbyterian for nuthin'. They conclude with some tender talk about war. War with Constanza. But Mau won't be alone in this war, Monita will be right beside him. And what's more Beto will help us, promises Mauricio. He'll testify to the adulterous affair, the pregnancy, everything! Moni can't believe this until he tells her how Beto donned the costume to save his secret at the party. She's blown away. Wow, what he did for me...for us, she stammers, I can't believe it. Well, neither can we. When push comes to shove, I'm thinking Beto will cave to Constanza. Storm clouds gathering for sure. What's the take-away from all this? Monita and Mauricio will have to stay away from each other, punto...until the divorce is final.

Alright, moving through our couples list, we find Estrella and Aldo. She's looking peaked, downright tired. And for the first time I thought she looked old. Definitely a lot older than Aldo. He's fussing about the possible pregnancy; she's refusing to go the the doctor. We've got that one hanging in the air. But both he and Estrella are clearly worried.( PSA for waiting till you're older to have sex? Lots of luck with that, broadcasters.)

Somewhat later. Beto returns to the barrio and an effusive Monita. Kisses and hugs. Are you drunk? he asks. Nope. She just learned how he helped Mauricio and how he's going to help them both. More hugs and kisses. Making amends time. He apologizes for being a sulky vengeful brat who did things to hurt her. Mauricio is the only one who can make her eyes shine and he wants to see her happy. And she wants to see him happy too...although she has a hard time believing he can be with la Momia. He assures her that the Beast loves him as much as he loves her. And with little Betito on the way-- what could be better? Loving looks, nostalgic tears, friends and sibs forever. Sweet. Now he wants to carry her over the threshold. What!? Yep, he dreamed once of doing it after the wedding...now he'll just do it as her best friend and brother. And hoist! And slam! Her head that is. Right into the door. Beto, don't be an idiot, you brute! That's it! he smiles. Just like I dreamed it.

We're back at Mau's now. Aldo has just crept in after seeing Estrella. A snippy sister is waiting for him, warning him that if Estrella is pregnant, Dad will really be mad at him. So go relax now, she adds. IF YOU CAN. Yes, definitely sultry storm clouds are gathering.

Whew. A break. Think of it as a soft breeze in the midst of all this suffocating heat and humidity. Yeah, I'm talking Ximena and Rolu. Our new fave couple. She's tickling him--the captions say "tiqui, tiqui, tiqui", ready to trot off and get him one of the car mags he loves so much, but turns out all he wants is Xime. She's pleased but distracted. Worried about hostile cuñis who won't even tell her goodnight when he hies off to his room. No problem. Arnoldo's always been weird. Smooches and love talk. I love you. Not as much as I love you. Doesn't seem like drivel at all with these two. Whoops. Yes it does. At least to Jeronimo who enters, hears, gags, dismisses Rolu as brain-damaged and takes himself off to bed, muttering about the nausea of two stupid people in love. Doesn't put a damper on things at all. When last we see them, Xime is gently giving Rolu a cranial massage. All is well. For the moment.

Now to the bat cave. Tano and Mau are having a little heart to heart. Mau's talking about his love of the luchador life. Tano's worried that he'll never return to racing. Maybe one day. How about love life? Monita's found him out and she's totally okay with it. And Tano? Romance? Nada. Just two failures, Estrella and Ximena. He's convinced he's destined to "vestir santos" (remain unattached) but he tiptoes around the Estrella/Aldo question and you can tell he's still interested. Not sure where that is going. Anvils? For sure. Mauricio admits that if Connie finds out he really is Furia and has been around Monita he's sunk. Now think about how many people know his secret. Yep. He's sunk for sure. And another thing. His face clouds over at one point in the conversation as he also remembers his questionable pact with Monita's mother. Uh-oh.

More hearts to heart. Monita and Beto. He wants to hear ALL about their steamy encounter. Lord! I'm glad it just ended with kisses. This whole scene made me a little queasy. There's such a thing as too much information. But he maintains he just wants to see her happy and clearly she enjoys telling him how she tricked Mau and how the kisses became ever more desperate as he tried to let her know who he really was. Not something I'd tell my brother frankly. But hey...

Alicia and Nieves are looking at a magazine. It's a picture of somebody I'd know if I knew more about Mexican culture. You're going to have to help me out here. No, not him! I recognize Fernando Colunga, but not the dude with him. Anyway there's some cosy chitchat about Alicia having a go at the guy and she demurs: "esa pulguitas no brincan en mi petate" Let's not get too literal here. Just means he's not for her. More musings about their romantic past. Lusting after Pedro Infante. And what about all those suitors Nieves had? And the guy who left her at the altar? Painful memories now. Nieves doesn't want to be married in white...evah...because it reminds her of being dumped. Alicia makes a pitch for marrying Don Cesar (I thought he was just separated from his wife, not divorced) but Nieves is adamant. We're fine as we are. No white wedding for me. I hardly qualify with MY past. Alicia suggests maybe a white dress with a red sequin for every little sin. In that case I'd have to be married in a "china poblana" (a colorful Mexican peasant dress) snaps Nieves. Alicia keeps probing. Have you ever heard anything more about that guy who left you at the altar? Was he Beto's father? Nieves' lips are zipped. For the moment.

And the fatherhood theme continues. Beto's confessing to Monita that in addition to his excitement at being a father, he's downright scared. He never had a dad. How's he going to know how to be one? The usual bromides. Just give love naturally. Man, if it were just that easy Monita! But whatever. You know where this is going. They decide Beto has a right to know who his real dad is and to find him, talk to him, heal the wounds of abandonment. Ask Nieves! You have a right to know. After all, Monita continues, I at least have the memory of cuddling with my mother in this bed. And I forgave her everything. Cleaned up my past. Closed the door. Oh boy. Storm clouds getting closer. Thunder rumbling. Watch out.

Aldo's feeling it. He' tossing and turning in his bed, wondering if indeed Estrella is pregnant.

How about Xime and Rolu? No, they're still in sweetly sappy bliss. She's heaving him, with more than a little difficulty, into the bed. He kisses her tenderly. She figures it's because she's being so helpful. Nopis. It's because he loves her. Oh my. She needs to recuperate with a strawberry daiquiri. But first let's talk about surgery. He'll need to have it, so he can walk again, so he can leave her! Nopis. Surgery too dangerous. Never going to leave you. We'll always be together. Fine. She runs off to get the daiquiri. And he gets up with no problem and has a drink of water. Uh oh. Think he's about to be found out? Wait and see.

Back to the barrio. Our new minted male, Beto, swaggers in. The man of the house is home. And wants to talk to his Mamita alone. Off goes Alicia. Lots of maternal billing and cooing. Beto boasts that he's talked Connie into a divorce and they're going to form a family. He's a man hecho and derecho and then some.

And Alicia and Monita. More happy talk. About how Beto's growing up. And how much Monita misses her mom. Well how about coming with me tomorrow morning to take flowers to the niche where we placed her ashes, suggests Alicia. Feeling those first drops of rain now? Together they pray to the Virgencita for Monita's mom while the rest of us start biting our nails.

Final scene. Serpent woman and foxy Mom. Connie's giving her whatfor for letting Aldo out and allowing the girls to go to a spa. The outrage! Jacqui defends herself and once more, the voice of reason, points out that the children are just an "estorbo" (pain in the butt) for Connie and why doesn't she let them go back to Maurico. Nevah! I'm going to make him miserable. And also make sure he and that chimpanzee never get together again, even if I have to kill her! (Okay Carlos, you're always defending la Momia by saying she hasn't killed anyone yet. But she's thinking of it!) And there we end.

Previews:
Yikes. Talk about storm clouds. Connie looks up and sees a strangly familiar woman. Who is it? No puede ser! It's Monita's mom. But no, she's dead!
And follows her out to her car. Mystery woman takes off, knocking Connie to the ground. Ay yi yi. Jacqui calls for help.

Vocabulary:
Not much struck me tonight.
enchilado = angry, riled up
rosquilla = little doughnut (came up in the conversation between Tano and Mauricio)
quedar a vestir santos = remain unattached, usually refers to women being old maids
esas pulguitas no brincan en mi petate = those fleas don't jump in my bedroll. or simply, not for me.
estorbo =hindrance, nuisance

Dicho of the Day
A lo hecho, pecho = A deed done must be faced. Own up to what you've done. You have to face the music.
Lots of application for this one. Tune in tomorrow and see.


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Sortilegio Monday January 11

Fernando is reprimanding Katia for lying about the cell phone call and falsely accusing a work friend, but she refuses to back down and manages to shed all blame and enrage him at the same time. She calls Mari a fat cow and when Fernando tells her not to be rude she begins lowing like a cow: mooooo, moooooo. She says that Mari’s problem is that she doesn’t know how to defend herself/stick up for herself/get along on her own (no sabe defenderse), which sounds a lot like a justification Bruno would use. Fer fires her from her position at Lombardo Construction and Katia is astounded – why am I fired!?!?! And you can’t fire me anyway!!! Fer tells her she’s not trustworthy, and he CAN fire her, but she begins shouting blah blah blah (yes, those words exactly) over the sound of his voice to drown him out. She doesn’t put her hands over her ears but she does slam the door on her way out.

Alex is talking to a sad and tired looking Roberto in the hospital. Alex asks how the baby is and finds out she’s doing poorly. And how is Raquel? Fine, says Roberto. Apparently, there is no justice in this world. We cut to Victoria at Raquel’s bedside; Raquel seems very energetic (or maybe she’s just noisy) for a woman who has recently given birth. She’s shouting that she doesn’t want the IV drip OR the baby – all she wants is a drink. And by the way, she asks, do you know what’s going on with Ulises?

Maura is on her cell phone with Elena, who is asking her when she can come to them. Maura is nervous – she has to be careful now that people know they know each other – but Elena insists that she come.

Fernando’s tío abuelo (whose name I forget, so I’ll call him Tío) is at Porfirio’s bedside with Jorge and a nurse hovering over the other side of the bed. Tío wants Porfirio to go to a hospital, or at least Jorge’s clinic. (Did Tío receive a blow to the head in a previous episode? Can’t he see from Jorge’s stone face and cold eyes that Jorge is pure evil? Doesn’t he realize that our very own Jardinera has aptly named him Mexico’s Dr. Mengele?) Porfirio refuses – he says that even though Jorge would be capable of killing him he won’t do it because he knows the granddaughter will inherit all his (Porfirio's) money when he dies only if he (Porfirio) actually sees her again first. Jorge has to make sure Porfirio doesn’t die before the granddaughter shows up. And, Porfirio taunts Jorge, when my granddaughter does show up I’ll tell her not to trust you. This seems a crazy thing to say to a man you don’t trust who is standing next to your IV drip with a complete knowledge of pharmaceuticals and a loaded syringe, but Porfirio is a feisty old coot and doesn’t back away from anything.

A random collection of the extended Lombardo clan is sitting down to dinner. We see Victoria, Felipa, MJ and Alex, Paula and Roberto. Victoria is telling the others that Raquel doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. Roberto says he wants a DNA test but is ready to take responsibility for the baby no matter who the father is. He blames himself for letting Ulises get within a mile of his wife when he knew full well who and what Ulises was, and now he feels it’s up to him to deal with the mess. Alex says there’s no point in talking about the past, and Felipa gives Roberto a big hug for his good and generous soul. I think she even says “canangas” to him, an expression I thought was only for dogs but maybe it's just a general signifier of admiration and affection.

Katia is complaining to Lisette about the way she has been treated for simply answering the phone when Maura comes in and confronts her about the lie she told about Mari. Based on what Katia said Maura accused Mari, who began weeping uncontrollably (llorar como una Magdalena), which of course made Maura look like the creep she is. Katia finally admits she lied and Maura calls her a metiche (nosy – someone who gets involved in [se mete en] other people’s business). Well, being called a liar didn’t upset Katia much, but being accused of being a metiche – that just pisses her off! Maura exits stage left and Katia wonders why all the fuss just for a phone call.

Fer is ranting to Victoria about Katia. Victoria first suggests sending her to a boarding school (internado) where the school would have the sorry job of trying to control her, but then admits that she doesn’t know what to say or how to help. She couldn’t deal with her own children, she says, so how could she help him. Fer gets that googly-eyed look again and says that the only way to help him is by loving him.

MJ and Alex are leaning over Tony’s crib in the nursery and talking about what an overall stupendous being they have created, and how lucky they are to have found one another. Back in their room MJ wonders if her dad will be free in time for the wedding. Alex says “Maybe…and uh…by the way, your mother wants to see you, but I wouldn’t recommend it. There’s something strange about all this, but …oh never mind, I think I’m just paranoid.” Alex! Doesn’t the fact that Maura (yes, the Maura who unwound the Mario Aguirre plot which almost led to the destruction of your marriage and the death of MariaJose – yes, that one) is involved in this, and that you think that Bruno is too, mean anything to you?

Arturo is helping an impatient and cranky Raquel out of the car. Motherhood has clearly not improved her. A nurse is waiting for her, along with Victoria, but Raquel refuses the nurse's help because she doesn’t want a JAILER. She tries to flee in her wheelchair but clearly didn't wheel away fast enough because in a later scene we will see this same nurse hovering over her trying to convince her to take her medicine.

Ulises goes to see Elena. She seems to be a little flirtatious, maybe working the cleavage thing, probably because she can sense that Ulises is furious. He drags her to the barn and flings her inside, angrily accusing her of trying to cut him out of the deal. No, no, no, no, no – no way, says Elena. In fact, she and Jorge were just going to call him – they were just waiting to talk to Maura to get some more information.

Now Ulises and Elena are in Jorge’s office and Ulises is demanding to know what’s going on. While he’s talking, Jorge casually goes to the desk behind Ulises (Ulises’ back is to him while they're talking –eek!!!) takes a syringe from the drawer and fills it. I can’t believe that the wily Ulises is so guileless here! Jorge asks him if anyone else is aware of what they’re talking about, and when Ulises tells him “of course not” (as in, "of course not, I’m no dope, what do you think?") Jorge plunges the syringe deep into his neck. Yech – I can’t watch. When I peek again, Ulises is slumped down and clearly unconscious.

Ulises’ building concierge is telling Roberto that Ulises left a couple of days ago on a trip. Roberto tries to call him but gets a message that the phone is off.

Jorge is telling Elena that he collected all the papers from Ulises car and got rid of them. Did he say he somehow hid or got rid of the car, also? I don’t recall hearing that, but I can’t imagine what good it is to hide his papers if the car is still there. Anyway, they are not sure if anyone knew that Ulises was coming to see them, but agree that if someone does comes looking for him they will say he never arrived. But what about the CAR? Wouldn’t that be a dead giveaway? Did I miss something?

MJ and baby Tony, Victoria and Felipa are talking about what a wreck Raquel is when Maura, that two-faced dog, arrives with some fashion magazines showing the latest wedding-dress styles and offers to help MariaJose draw up the guest list – it’s so important to make sure only the right people get invited. Victoria turns down her offer and Maura, chipper in the face of rejection, says that’s no problem, because it will give her even more time to work on finding a house for MJ and Alex. Vicki is impactada – she didn’t know MJ and Alex were planning on moving. Maura apologizes for spilling the unhappy news and twirls off to visit Raquel. MJ explains to the stricken Victoria that they want their own place because they don’t want to be around when Bruno is nearby. Vicki and Felipa understand and agree with her reasoning.

Maura is with Raquel, listening to her rage hysterically that everyone is against her (which is actually true, so at least she’s not paranoid). She’s out of her wheelchair and refusing to take her antibiotics. She wants alcohol only, and begs Maura to bring her some as proof of their friendship. Maura refuses and Raquel orders her to get out, but before she goes Raquel reminds her to find her a divorce lawyer. At the end of the scene Raquel finally decides to take her medicine so that she can get well and get out of there that much sooner.

Paula and MJ are looking at wedding and bridesmaid dresses in magazines as Paula wonders whether or not their father will be free in time for the wedding. She wonders something else, too, but I started writing about the next scene and didn’t finish writing this one down. Sorry!

Roberto and Hernán are looking at the baby, who is crying inconsolably in the little protective contraption they put newborn babies in (I know it’s not a humidor, but that’s the only word that’s coming to me right now). Roberto wants to know why she is crying so much and Hernán explains that now that the baby is born she is no longer receiving a steady supply of cocktails through the mother and so is going through alcohol withdrawal symptoms. He adds that the baby will need long term care, and then delivers the final blow – the DNA tests came back and the baby is not Roberto’s. Roberto does not look impactado at all, but more like he has been expecting this very news even while hoping for something else.

In the Lombardo living room Paula is blathering on to Roberto and he is clearly not interested. Vicki arrives and asks if he Roberto knows where Ulises is. Roberto says he can’t find him but wants to so that he can claim legal parental custody (patria potestad) of the baby. Paula says that they will all take care of the baby, but that is clearly not the issue for Robert – he wants the baby to be his. So, even knowing that the baby will most likely be sickly and need constant care, Roberto is fighting to take responsibility for her. I love him!

In Alex’s office, Alex is handing off a contract to Fer – the first one they’ve gotten since the series of scandals began – and it looks like business is picking up. Alex wonders where Bruno is, and if maybe he has given up. Fer, who has been acting a lot more clever than Alex recently, says Bruno is like a dog with a bone and won’t give up. I wonder if Alex is so desperate to put all the family’s problems behind them and return to a normal life that he is now deliberately refusing to acknowledge anything that might upset their precariously normal existence.

MJ is playing with Tony in front of the house when Bruno walks up. Wasn’t she just saying they wanted to move because they don’t feel safe with Bruno around? Now she’s practically luring him out by playing alone with the baby when no one else is in sight. Anyway, he comes out of his lair now and says to MJ that the baby could have been theirs. Even if it’s not his, he says, the baby and MJ both have his blood running through their veins (though it’s a hot day I think MJ must be shivering at her narrow escape). Bruno asks if MJ was ever in love with him and she answers no – true love is...something that I don’t catch because Tony is crying too loudly. She bundles up the baby and walks off and Bruno grumbles that Alex has taken everything –everything! from him. He flips a coin and murmurs that the war isn’t over yet.

Alex is telling Fer that MJ wants to meet her mother. Fer offers to ask his uncle about Elena but Alex says no - he doesn’t want anyone to know about the relationship between Elena, MJ and Paula, and it’s better to just leave the past behind and move on. Fer points out that the past is coming back to bite them in the butt and explains that it's Don Porfirio’s money (which Sandra is heir to) that is keeping Jorge’s clinic running. Alex agrees that this is interesting.

While they are talking Maura comes in to let Alex know that Raquel is in bad shape, to let Fer know that Katia didn’t come back to work, and to let them both know she’s going to be gone for a few days. Alex reminds her of the board meeting and insists she be there. She seems to agree, and though she doesn’t look happy about it she’s not so upset that she can’t caress Alex’s shoulder on the way out. Fer warns Alex that Maura is after him but Alex just gives a kind of a smirk, claps him on the back and tells him they have to go to the church What’s the deal, Alex? Are you happy to let this go on so that you can make MJ jealous? Reacciona por favor!

Maura is telling Elena that she can’t come to see them and Elena tells her to fly to Toluca for the day. Maura asks why Elena and Jorge don’t come to her and Elena explains that the situation is too delicate and that they don’t want to risk anyone seeing them.

MJ, Alex and Tony, accompanied by Vicki, Fer and Felipa, meet the priest to arrange the details of their marriage. The priest seems a little confused at the order they’re dong things in and asks who the baby belongs to; they explain that the baby is theirs and they want to arrange a baptism, also.

Bruno goes to see Maura but only Lisette is in. Lisette recounts with surprise how furious Maura was at Katia for answering her phone and then telling Ulises about the call but Bruno seems uninterested. He tells Lisette she’s not looking well at all (muy desmejorada) and asks what’s wrong. His concern seems real, and he gives her a kiss and tells her to take care and I totally see how Katia could be such an idiot about him; when he becomes a human being again he really is hot. It’s hard to know when he’s being deceptive and when he genuinely cares about someone, so I can understand why katia is confused (though it doesn’t explain the lying, the snottiness, the mooing like a cow when her brother tries to reason with her…).

With the information he’s gathered Bruno goes to Katia and they have a snuggle and a debrief on the beach. She’s crying because she lost her job and her friend for telling Bruno about the call. (I wrote Bruno in my notes, but shouldn’t it be Ulises?) Bruno is so sorry – he never would have asked her had he known…he was just curious...but now tell me about this woman Elena... Katia explains about Sandra, Porfirio’s heir.

Bruno barges into Roberto’s room for a little social chit-chat, which for him takes this form: so – do you know who the baby's father is? Once the niceties are dispensed with he asks Roberto what he knows about MariaJose and her family. Roberto explains that Sandra was Ulises girlfriend and was set to inherit Porfirio’s estate, but she’s a drug addict and the old man won’t leave her his money when he finds out.

MJ and Alex are in bed and MJ is wriggling with excitement at the upcoming marriage. Alex, in one of those intimate bedroom moments, swears he would give her anything. Anything? says MJ flirtatiously. It seems for a moment that there might be another hot scene between MJ and Alex but alas it’s not to be, and the next scene is MJ and Paula at the prison; what MJ asked for was for Alex to bring her to see her father.

When Pedro sees the girls he gets a kind of hunted look and turns around to walk away. The girls shriek and bang the bars separating them and he turns back to greet them. When he learns about the upcoming wedding he moans that he’d like to be there to walk MJ up the aisle, but since he can’t he’ll content himself with just a few simple pictures – that’s enough for him – don’t worry about me, etc., etc. (Perhaps in another life Don Pedro was a little Jewish grandmother?) Alex says that they may be able to get him out on bail within a few days, so there’s still a chance he could be at the wedding.

Maura apparently decided to fly to Toluca because she and Elena are getting out of a car on Jorge and Elena’s ranch. Elena introduces her to Jorge and even Maura must be able to tell she’s in the presence of evil; she stands far away from Jorge and extends her arm way out to shake his, as if she was afraid to get too close to him. Maybe evil is able to recognize evil without any information other than a soul-searching gaze, and this gaze reveals that Jorge’s soul is rotted through (and Maura’s is getting pretty manky).

The three of them visit Sandra’s bedside and Maura is taken aback at how exactly Sandra resembles MJ. She asks if Sandra will get better and Jorge gives a very emphatic No! It’s hard to know if that’s because he’s going to finish her off or if she’s really too far gone for help.

Later, Maura, Elena and Jorge are talking about Maura participating in something, though we don’t know what. Maura is worried – if Alex finds out about it he will kill her. Since he did find out about Mario Aguirre and it had zero affect on their relationship it’s hard to believe she will let that stop her. Jorge assures her that it would be absolutely impossible for anyone to find out and she protests only feebly – but I don’t wish MJ badly. Elena puts it to Maura in terms she can pretend are valid: you’d really be contributing to MJ’s HAPPINESS if you did this, because then she would be rich. Maura would get the love of her life, and it would be a win-win-win situation: Maura gets Alex, MJ gets wealthy, and Jorge gets funding for his clinic. What's not to like if the price is simply losing your rotting soul?

In the previews of next chapter we see Bruno with his hands around Maura’s neck, threatening to choke her if she doesn’t tell him what’s going on. He flings her onto the sofa and, to save her neck (literally), she tells him that “some guys” are planning to kidnap MJ.

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Gancho recappers and fans: what about this time change?

Hi all,

First, let me apologize for not keeping up with your show. I am just overwhelmed in my real life, and by how HUGE Caray, Caray has become. I see you've all been doing well without me, though, paddling your own canoe. Thanks, so many thanks, to you great recappers. Sounds like this show is a hoot.

Now, we have a big problem. Your show is moving to the afternoon. Why, I wonder? but then it's hard to watch at that time, so the fans may dwindle, AND, what about the new 7 pm show? What do you think we should do? One thing that occurs to me is that we could put one or the other of the shows on "quick and dirty" - have one or two recappers who plan to watch the show anyway post bi-weekly reviews.

It's your call. What do you want to do?

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Amor Monday, Jan 11, 2010 Who does the baby look like? The Michelin Tire Man? The Pillsbury Doughboy? You decide.

Friday: Madeleine is Chris’s ma!

Monday: Is this a joke? says Chris.

Madeleine: No joke; I’ve been wanting to see you again forever.
Chris: Madam, I don’t know what kind of game this is, but you’re very much out of line.
M (pleading): Don’t push me away. I understand you are surprised, maybe angry, but this is no time to argue. It’s bad enough what you are suffering in this place.
C: I don’t understand what you’re doing here in the prison.
M: God works in mysterious ways. Being here has wrecked your life, but if it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t be here with you now.
C: What is it you want, Madam?
M: To see you, to get to know you. You’re my child – my only child.
C: I was a half-orphan from a very young age. I lost my mother. I think it’s better that you leave now. (He stands)
M: Please, just listen to me.

Diana and Inez are having lunch at a café and Inez asks her to be her maid of honor. Diana says sure and says she hopes she has the same kind of luck with Samuel. Whew! What a lover! Maybe Camila has said he’s bad in bed, but she must’ve just been frigid. Yowrrrrr. Pragmatic Inez says maybe he just got a lot of experience in the meantime. Whatever, says Diana…. what a night!

Joel walks in with Monica, her child in his arms. Diana spots them and says Joel! What’s with the kid? Oh, poor little guy – I see why you’ve kept him hidden. Monica snatches the boy from Joel’s arms and says He’s mine! Joel says And he’s going to be mine too very soon. He hasn’t been kept hidden. Diana says Oh, don’t be so touchy.

Monica heads for another table waaay on the other side of the room and Joel tells Diana he hopes her grandson will recover. Diana is shocked and Joel says didn’t you know he was born last night? Diana says You’re lying! Joel tells her that he’s in an incubator, and Diana abandons Inez, furious that nobody even told her.

Madeleine tells Chris that she lives in Paris, but was born in Mexico. When she saw his photo in the papers and read his name, she jumped on the first plane to Mexico. Or rolled on.

Chris says I’m sorry to hear you went to the trouble, because you’re wasting your time. I have no mother. My mother abandoned me when I was a baby, and left me with an alcoholic father. So you can see, even if she were alive, I wouldn’t want to have any sort of relationship with her.

I understand how you feel, she says. I expected it. But this isn’t the time to argue. I wanted to be here for you at this hard time. Chris says I don’t want you here. Go on back to Paris. Please, she implores. I need to be with you, just once.

Why? says Chris. Madeleine says I wanted you to know how much I love you (Chris snorts) and how much I care what happens to you. Empty words, says Chris. If something is important to a person, they don’t ever desert it.

Chris says I don’t want to judge you, but if you are who you say you are, you made that decision years ago, let’s be honest.

Carlota is reading in the paper that Chris and Natalie’s case is coming up and German will be their lawyer. The prosecutor will be Lic. Cordero. Carlota seems to know who that is, but I don’t. Anyway, she figures she has some secrets about Chris to tell him.

Back at the jail, Madeleine says people change their minds, see the errors of their decisions, repent. Perdoname! Chris says I have nothing to forgive. But I do get to choose who I want to be with, and I don’t want to be with you.

Madeleine says the thought of seeing you again has kept me alive all these years. If you want me near, or far away, I can die in peace, knowing that I was able to look you in the eyes and tell you that I haven’t had one single day of peace. Perdoname!

Nurses are trying to get Romina suited up in a sterile outfit to go be with her baby. Em watches through a door window. Romina is scared – the baby will be too fragile. She’s just not good at stuff like that. They tell her they need her to give breast milk and she is horrified – she says there is all kinds of good formula out there. The nurses say the baby needs her. Romina tells Em that she’d give milk to the baby in the incubator, but not to the nurse. Gross! Forget it.

Em, all suited up, goes in to see the megababy.

Madeleine tells Chris that she’s going to leave a box at the priest’s residence that has family papers and photos so if he wants to he can find out about his mother and his family. Chris says I made it all these years without knowing that, why bother? Madeleine says because now you know you have a mother. Who abandoned me, says Chris. Who is here now, says Madeleine.

I’ll leave it with the priests, she says. Chris says you realize they chucked me out of the church? I know, she says, mi amor. Chris squeezes his eyes shut. Leave, he says, and don’t come back.

The baby has a great pair of lungs. The nurse tells Em to touch the baby and he reaches through the incubator armholes with his UNGLOVED hands. Every inch of him is covered in blue sterile getup, hair included, but all those parts of him are outside the incubator. He strokes the baby, buttering it with germs. Romina watches through an observation window. Em sweettalks the baby, telling him he loves him, that he’ll take him camping and everything. Romina smiles.

Madeleine says I know I have no rights here, but I’m going to stay in town. Think about it… if you want to see me, I’ll leave my hotel address. Chris says why don’t you go back to Paris – you must’ve been happy all these years. Madeleine says how could I be happy? I love you, I’ve always loved you. Chris rolls his eyes and sighs. I’m going to stay here and see what happens with the trial. Chris takes the hotel’s card and gets up to leave. As he passes her, Madeleine takes his hand, kisses it and leans her cheek into it. Chris gives her a perfunctory blessing and leaves.

Paloma in her bedroom slops bright yellow paint on a canvas. She stops and calls Gabriel and tells him that she had a nap, and when she woke up, she felt she had to get her thoughts on canvas. Never has she been in this color mood! She feels like something is starting, something is about to be born. Gabriel says wow – we’re painting the same thing! Me too! Orange! Yellow! Red!

Paloma wonders if it has something to do with the baby being born. Gabriel thinks so. He’s stoked that they’re so in sync. He tells her to bring her canvas when she comes for her lesson.

Lili and Sandra (in bed with her hepatitis) are talking on the phone and Lili gives her the bad news that Gabriel went over and asked Paloma if he could escort her to the graduation party. Sandra is bummed, but Lili says he doesn’t think Paloma is interested in him. Sandra has heard about Lili’s breakup with Erik, but she says it makes sense since Lili is still hung up on German.

Sandra says she’s realized she liked Erik way better than she thought and now she’s unhappy. Sandra asks her to tell all about Romina’s water breaking at the party, and then says she feels jealous of Paloma. What should she do?

Romina calls Paloma from her hospital bed and begs her to come see the monster newborn. Paloma says I didn’t think you wanted me to come because…. Romina says please come see him, he’s adorable. She hangs up and says I want you to come shrivel up with jealousy about Emiliano and the baby.

Rufi was listening, and Paloma says she feels uncomfortable about going. Yesterday was an emergency, but this is different. Rufi says it’d look rude if you didn’t come, and besides, you’re not butting in, Romina invited you. Paloma says you’re right! I’ll get a present and go.

Rafa and Luz are visiting Romina in the hospital. Em is there too. Rafa marvels that he’s a grandfather and Romina marvels that she’s a mother. Luz urges Romina to touch her baby – that it would know her smell and her voice. Romina is doubtful. She asks if Luz has kids, and Luz says no, you two are so privileged to have one.

Diana barges in and says nobody even told me! Luz smirks. Rafa rolls his eyes. He says he called all night, but she didn’t pick up. Diana says no you didn’t, but Em backs Rafa up.

Rafa and Luz leave, Luz trailing clouds of smugness. Diana reproaches Em and Em says all you can gripe about is not having found out? Why don’t you ask how Romina is? How the baby is?

Samuel comes in with a bouquet of tacky baby-themed balloons. Diana looks nervous and shifty-eyed. Samuel is all phony-gushy and Romina informs him the baby will be named after him.

Paloma, gift in hand, is looking through the big observation window at the baby and coo-cooing at him. Em enters and Paloma melts, seeing him caress his child. He looks up and sees her and they look at each other with delight. A nurse comes up and talks to Paloma for a while, but we can’t hear. Next thing, we see Paloma all suited up, being allowed to come love up the baby. She puts her hand into the incubator and we all hope and pray that she doesn’t have any Carlota cooties on her ungloved hands.

Paloma doesn’t look like she knows how to handle a baby, she mostly just pets its clothes, but she does know how to sing, and so we and Em are treated to a lovely little lullaby. Em looks at her with admiration.

Paloma says this is the most amazing thing she’s ever experienced. She has the urge to protect the baby, to hold it and kiss it. Em says you can come do that any time. But reality break: Paloma says Romina wouldn’t like that. The musicians put down their Happy Baby sheet music and switch to the Crushed Lovers score. I’ve just come today because she asked me to. Em says the nurses say the baby needs this attention to thrive and Romina is unwilling, or unable, to provide it. Let’s not tell Romina.

In the prison visiting hall, Chris is telling Padre B about his mother’s visit. He says he didn’t actually know if she was dead or alive, but just that she had abandoned him when he was very small and left him with father and after he died, he lived with his grandparents until they died.

Padre B says don’t you want to know what happened? Chris says no – I’m sure she’s just here because she was always afraid her child might turn out to be a murderer. Padre B says whoa – negative vibes! Chris says why not? The church turned its back on me. Padre B says he believes in him, and look at the silver lining – his mother found him. She came all this way to see him!

Why do I have to deal with so much? Chris anguishes. Padre B says they’re trials, trials that’ll make you stronger. He urges Chris to dig around in his heart and find some love and compassion. Besides, the trial will give him the opportunity to tell his side. He says Chris should give his mother the same opportunity.

Back at the hospital, Paloma says she doesn’t want to make Romina mad. Em says you never know which way that cat will jump, but the main thing is what the baby needs. Paloma marvels at it, that it’s Em’s baby.

Em says he wishes it were her baby. Paloma says hush. He says you’re right, it shouldn’t have to pay for his mistakes. Paloma says the baby is lucky to have him. Em says he’s going to dedicate his life to making his son happy. Paloma looks at him with melty eyes. She sings another lullaby. He looks at her tenderly.

Gabriel is painting furiously – he has done a landscape with a yellow sky. Oops – suddenly he doesn’t feel well.

Now Paloma is visiting with Romina who says the baby looks just like Em, don’t you think? Paloma says to her babies never look like anybody, but they’re so sweet. Romina says he scares her – he’s so fragile. What if she dropped him? She likes babies better when they’re bigger. Paloma gives her a kiss and Romina thanks her for everything she’s done for their new family. Paloma leaves and Romina smirks.

The sun rises over Real del Monte.

At the plateria, Angelica is telling Orlando about what Dario did to her. Orlando says he’s sorry he hasn’t been around – all the excitement with the baby. Angelica says she’s going to go after Dario with everything she’s got.

Orlando says he’s sorry, but he couldn’t find the manuscript she gave him. He wanted to read it. Why? she says sharply. It was a good story, she says, or Dario wouldn’t have stolen it. Don’t look for it, I found it thrown in among your other papers. Orlando says he really wanted to read it and Angelica says is that why you lied to me and said you had? Orlando says I was ashamed that I hadn’t yet.

I’m awfully sorry, says Orlando. I won’t lie to you again. Give it to me – I want to read it. I’ll be honest with you from now on – does this mean you’ll stay? She reminds him that she was just filling in for a couple of months. He says he wants her to stay because things are really going to be hopping when they expand to the U.S. You write your new novel and I’ll read every page!

Every page? Wow, you da man, Orlando! Why not go for the gold and read the cover flap too?

Angelica gets a little tearful and Orlando asks why. She says she felt so alone. You’re not alone he says.

Don Eugenio is on the phone with Gabriel, who assures him he’s fine. Don E wants to come see him anyway. He uses the excuse of the unfinished conversation with Carlota. Gabriel, though he’s having a nature walk, looks a little peaky and Don E looks worried after he hangs up.

Paloma and Lili are visiting. Lili says it looks like there’s something between Paloma and Gabriel, but Paloma scoffs. Lili says I know you don’t want anything to do with cupid, but Em’s making his own life with Romina and the baby and you should make yours.

Paloma deflects her by asking about Erik. Lili says she’s really down and Paloma suggests she talk with him and tell him how she feels.

Lili says I know! I’ll try with Erik and you try with Gabriel. They laugh and banter then agree and high five.

Camila is packing up Romina’s bag and she and Em are about to check her out of the hospital. Em says it’s weird to leave the baby there, but Romina says they’ll take good care of him. A nurse comes up and asks if they’re going to go by the neonatal unit. Romina says of course, we want to say goodbye to the baby before we go. The nurse says I wasn’t asking for that reason – I was asking because we need some milk.

Camila tries to talk her into it and Romina says she can do it at home, but not here with a nurse. The nurse warns her that her milk will dry up. Romina walks off and Camila says Romina finds ways to get out of things, but she’s sure Romina is very worried about the baby. Em looks skeptical.

Romina looks at the baby through the observation window and thoughtbubbles that he looks just like German and she doesn’t know what she’s going to do when he gets bigger. Em and Camila come up and Romina gushes about how he looks just like him. Even his mother said so! Em doesn’t really see how he looks like him. And her dad says he looks like her when she was young, she asserts. Don’t you think so, Mami? Behind her, Camila looks very troubled.

In the prison yard, Chris is staring and is remembering his mother saying she hadn’t had one day of peace all these years, thinking about him. Chicho spots him and runs over and says what’s wrong? Chris says he just doesn’t get all this. Chicho says his mother says God’s ways are not the same as men’s ways. From a distance, Canibal studies him. He and another thug approach slowly. Canibal tells him he can’t wait until the day when he quits pretending to be innocent and admits to be a killer, like the rest of them there.

Canibal says maybe he’ll land up back in the hospital, or maybe even the cemetery. Chicho tells him to knock it off – a higher power will be stepping in. Canibal says he always wanted to tempt God. He grabs Chicho and starts to struggle with him, Chris and the thug jump in and the guards come and break it up.

Holding Canibal at bay, the guard tells Chris he has a visitor. Chris says he doesn’t want any visits, unless it’s his lawyer. The guard says this isn’t a boutique – go see your visitor.

AHHHHHH intone the bassos. It’s Carlota waiting for Chris. Guard! he says when he sees who it is, but the door remains closed. He wants to know why she won’t leave him alone. She says who is this Madeleine Martell? How did you find out? Chris demands.

Ca: I know everything. Is she one of your conquests?
Ch: How do you know this stuff?
Ca: There’s nothing money can’t buy.
Ch: You’d better leave, because I’m capable of….
Ca: (coming in close) Of what? Kiss me!

He grabs her face and pushes her away and says Basta! You’re nuts! This obsession of yours is driving me crazy. And I can’t get it out of my head that you’re responsible for all this.

Ca: And what if I told you you’re right?
Ch: Dios mio! You were capable of killing Alonso to get close to me?
Ca: One day you’ll understand what your love has made me do.
Ch: Get out of here.
Ca: This is your last opportunity to get back to your life. The trial is about to start and then I won’t do anything for you. Now is the time. The only thing I ask of you is that you be mine.
Ch: You are the worst thing that has happened to me in my life. I’d rather spend the rest of my days in prison than in bed with you.
Ca: Fine. If you want to stay in prison, help yourself. We would have been great together.

The guard lets Chris out and she says You lost your opportunity.


Avances: Carlota tells German that she wants him to sink Chris. He’s stunned. She tells him that she consents to him approaching Paloma. And then she grabs him by the face and kisses him passionately.

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Monday, January 11, 2010

GET YOUR TONGUE OUTTA MY MOUTH 'CAUSE I'M KISSIN' YOU GOODBYE*... well.... OK... but just the tip

We began with pinging between Constanza and Mauricio with their respective lawyers which Hombre covered quite well on Friday. The new stuff picks up with Coni conferring with her lawyer. He tells her that she must be open and honest with him. Clearly he doesn't know our Coni very well. She must share with him details of her private life. She wants none of that."Yo tengo el sartén por el mango (Remember? we've had this one before. I have the skillet by the handle, that is, I have the upper hand. I think Emilia understands this phrase well)... besides, Mauricio has no proof of anything." "You never know what details Mr. Sermaño might bring up. Have you been unfaithful too? Do you have a lover?" Coni looks genuinely hurt (we know she excels at this sort of thing), "¡Por supuesto que no! What do you take me for?" ¡Por favor, Coni! Be glad it's not us you asked that of. "I'm not a cualquira!" Uh... Yeah... OK. He nods, "El que nada debe, nada teme, y siendo asi es un pan comida.(He who owes nothing, that is, has done nothing wrong, has nothing to fear. Being so it's a piece of cake, literally bread eaten)." He looks unconvinced, however, and Coni looks worried.

Mauricio is a little more frank with his attorney. He owns up to having been seeing Valentina Lopez but not as Mauricio Sermaño. Looking puzzled the lawyer says, "I don't understand." Mao explains. He tells him that Moni is a champion batamweight boxer. The creation of Furia Enmascarada was in order to be close to Monita. They train in the same gym. "Does Mrs. Sermaño know of this?" "Yes... well, she strongly suspects, but has no proof." He also informs him that Moni has no idea who Furia is. He's kept his identity secret so as not to compromise Moni. Uh, yeah. In spite of all this, he points out, that he has not been unfaithful. The lawyer tells him if he doesn't want to lose everything, his possessions, his money, his children, he must cut off all contact with Monita and give up his persona as Big Bug. "Of course," Mao agrees. Careful, Mao. The lawyer tells him he will arrange for him to be able to see his children. Can someone explain why a lawyer has a bathtub in his office?

At the office, Oscar and Jero each pretend to be keenly interested in anything but each other, studiously avoiding eye contact while alternatively stealing furtive glances at one another.
Oscar ruptures the viscous silence, "Jerónimo, about this thing that happened..." Jero is quick to respond, "Nothing happened." Oscar quickly agrees but asks if Jero really remembers nothing. Turns out that neither remembers anything that happened, therefore nothing at all actually happened. Case closed. Before they have chance to dissect that logic, the subject is quickly changed to a discussion of a lucrative business deal they are pursuing, the acquisition, demolition, and redevelopment of the property that currently comprises our nacos' 'hood. A much safer and more comfortable topic. Oscar observes, as he displays supportive photos, and of course the plans are false, that there's absolutely no reason for Salvador to suspect anything. Jero concurs. Uneasy, Jero once again broaches a troubling subject, "About last night..." Oscar quickly cuts him off, "Nothing happened last night." They both shift uncomfortably and uneasily in their chairs, each wincing from a slight real or imagined pain. We smile.

The door to Ximy's place swings open and she wheels in a beaming Rolu and in one deft motion expertly kicks he door shut behind her.
She possesses the skills of an experienced hospital transport aide. An oddly jocular Rolu confirms, "The best, the best." They kiss. A morsel for thought, Is Rolando manifesting symptoms of Munchausen's Syndrome? They happily kiss. A jumpy Arnie comes bounding down the spiral stairs wielding spray bottle of all-purpose cleanser, brandishing it like a high-powered pistol."Stop right there!" "Arnie, you frightened me!" Ximey reacts, startled. She is lovely in tight jeans and a blouse with short puffy sleeves and a white yoke with winged collar. He is wearing gloves and a protective mask.She and Rolu sniff the air noticing the acrid fragrance of disinfectant. Much like the hospital. He explains that he's been busy cleaning everything... and he means everything, with Clorox,...He ponders the fact that they've been in the hospital and no place has more germs than a hospital (he's pretty much right you know. Certainly the most dangerous germs) He points his weapon at R&X and opens fire. She dashes for cover leaving Rolu exposed in the line of fire. Hmmm... is Ximy really so kookily flawless after all? Ximy starts, and Rolu takes over, explaining his unfortunate mishap. Besides the obvious broken arm, the three falls have resulted in serious back injuries which have resulted in damage to a disc (disco), Ximy misinterprets thinking he's taking about the other, more fun disco. Patiently he diverts her attention to the topic at hand (hurrah for Rolu) Explaining that nerves are at risk requiring risky surgery before he can walk again. He seeks and obtains a commitment from Ximy to remain by his side until he is healed and can walk again."Do you promise?" "¡Sipis!" They sweetly kiss. Arnie reacts with negativity, rolling his eyes. He is not pleased.

Meintras tanto, Aldo is relaxing reclined on his bed. Cell phone rings. It's dad... Mao. He asks about the other children. Aldo inquires about the progress of the divorce and Mao fills him in. He expects the judge will give permission for him to see them if only once or twice a week. Mao promises that "pronto, muy pronto" they will be happily reunited. "Call if you need anything. Hugs." Aldo views the phone momentarily then begins to dial. Hmmm, whom could he be calling?

At home, Estrella searches for el famoso vestidito de piel de tigre; She calls it her battle garb (vestidazo de batalla) , she locates it as the cell phone rings. "¿Principe, qué pasó?" Oh yeah, Mao gave Aldo his phone and got himself a new one. Aldo acts hurt, "What? I'm no longer your cachorro?" He tells her of the mummy dismissing Mao from the house. She tells him that now Monita knows everything. She tells him that there was no way she could lie when Moni confronted her with the facts. She stands and suddenly swoons. Without warning she faints leaving Aldo talking to no one. Helplessly he calls her name,"¡Estrella! ¡Bueno! ¡Estrella!"

Our newly-minted gay couple, Oscar and Jero are meeting with Sal in Jero's office. They are presenting their latest business proposal, that regarding the barrio. "Es un negocio redondo (an excellent business deal)." They present the photos and plans. They've checked every detail. Sal is skeptical."Why the hurry? Why on Sunday? Does Mauricio know of this?" Jero grouses,"We don't need Mauricio, I'm also an owner and president... It's always the same. We try to do the right thing..." The property is abandoned, they tell him. "The only thing living there are cats and dogs and rats." "OK, where do I sign?" He knows this is stinky. Hurrah, the devious duo are successful. Sal slunks off. Elated, they embrace, we glimpse Jero's face react to the realization of what they are doing. Apparently it also dawns upon Oscar how this must look in light of last night. Quickly they separate, embarrassed. Though it's not exactly sensitive or PC, I'm enjoying their discomfiture.

Fortunately Moni has come seeking Estrella and the magic boogying dress and finds her unconscious on the floor of her apartment. She hurriedly kneels over the limp, lifeless body of her carnala (sister, sort of). She runs to the door and frantically calls for help, "¡Paula!" then hurries back and tries to rouse her.

Now for a super-heartwarming scene, Jaui, Katia, and the Femsibs are bonding. How sweet is this? Jacqui is entertaining the three as Luisa arranges Dani's hair as Katia arranges Luisa's hair.
She questions Dani about her Novio. She replies,"I don't have a Novio, I have puras maestras (pure teachers? Help!)" Cute kid. The subject shifts just as Aldo rushes in beside himself. He needs to leave but he knows that the mummy wouldn't approve. Jaqui bigshots it. "I'm in charge here. Go wherever you need to go." She's puzzled however. The older girls are sure it has something to do with Estrella. She shrugs the granny version of "Oh really? Whatever." No fan of Estrella, she doesn't see the attraction. Sensing that the girls share her restlessness she jumps up an suggests "Let's go out!" Dani gives her a sincere hug and she hugs back with the same warmth. Awww. She promises that in less than an hour,"we're all gonna feel super." She forms a conga line and they dance out singing,"♫vamos a la calle!♫" Now that is a granny to conjure with.

At Estrella's, help has arrived in the shape of Nieves, Alicia, and Paula. Three beautiful angels of mercy. The four turn their full attention their amiga. She is seated between Alicia and Nieves. Alicia fans as Nieves offers water. For some reason I'm hearing Three Little Maids From School wafting in from somewhere. Pau is sweeping up the rubble created in Estre's fall. Though Estre says it's probably just a drop in blood pressure, Pau divulges that this is not the first time. Moni thinks that it's high time that Estrella sees a Dr. "¡No! No, no, no! I don't like Drs." Estrella! Thanks! I love you, too. Nieves and Alicia confer behind her back.
Girl talk ensues. Auntie's three days late, as some of the ladies have put it. "¡No, no, no, no estoy embarrazada!" I don't believe that requires translation for anyone who has watched even the smallest portion of a TN. Clearly shaken, she takes a seat as the others are stirred to action. Moni rushes off to get a pregnancy test. Pau, on her knees, fans with a magazine as she sits in the armchair. Nieves notes that she has become more busty (más pechugona). Estre checks her breasts and readjusts her tee shirt. Though this is not the best of prospects for obvious reasons, I for one am relieved. At least perhaps no coma looms in our future.

Sal (who we know is due a heart attack at any moment) and Gabi (who we know will witness it and laugh because she thinks he's faking) are having lunch in an airy restaurant. He is worried and agitated over Jero's and Oscar's planned business venture. He knows (as do we) that they are dishonest and devious and that there is something very fishy about this deal. He fills her in. She asks him if Mao knows about it. "No." She thinks it's strange that she was not included in drawing up the papers. He will investigate further and have the the bank hold up the funds. He lauds her efficiency as a secretary. They kiss. Awww.

Coni's home. Interesting outfit. As always she looks great, but this time, a little strange as well. Black knit blouse, beige shorts, black tights (panty hose?), designer shades, black pumps. She looks like a movie star. The doorbell sounds and she calls for, "¡Mamá! ¡Katia! ¡Niños!" No one else is home and she has to answer it herself. Doncha wish you hadn't been so hasty in dismissing our Teri?

Well, check this out. Jaqui has taken the girls to the spa and they're all relaxing in the treatment chairs, sipping beverages, and getting facials. Including Dani!
Jaqui asks if they're more relaxed. Dani sums it up, "¡Ay sí, relajadísimas!" I've already been blessed with some of the cutest, sweetest scenes tonight and we're just a little over halfway through. Deb and Julia, you have to find ways to stick around. This sort of thing is just too unique, clever, and precious to miss.

It was Beto at the door. He strolls in behind Coni. He is wearing a lime tee which boldly states:

"No soy santo pero hago milagros (I'm no saint but I work miracles)."

Coni scolds him for running off and leaving her last night. Beto is feeling empowered. He declares his masculinity, "I wear the pants, here! Like it or not!" She likes it, but at first he doesn't notice. He insists that she get a divorce and marry him. She softens, drapes herself over his shoulders, then oozes and flows over him, enveloping him in the hembracity that is uniquely Coni. She agrees. At first surprised, now it's Beto's turn to melt, (it's fascinating how these two are putty in each other's hands) "¿Huh?" She proceeds to seduce him by caressing his face and kissing him in a fashion that has him squirming and me starting to sweat even in this freezing weather. Wow! Look at those large, limpid, longing eyes.
Can this gorgeous, groping goddess really be evil? Take me now, Lord! Does anyone have a cigarette? I have a feeling that I'm going to need one.

Meanwhile, back with Estrella (couldn't we have tarried at Coni's place for just a bit longer?) Pau is still fanning her with a copy of ERES magazine. Her wrist is tiring. She pauses and shakes the cramp off. Estrella keeps insisting that there is nothing wrong with her as Aldo comes flying in, all breathless, "¿Cochorro, Qué haces aquí?" "¡Estrella! ¿Qué pasó?" She urges him to take it easy,"Ya, tranquila." Paula, who is by now a bit exasperated with her friend hands the magazine over to Aldo to continue the fanning (his effort is half-hearted at best). She leaves the two of them alone and Aldo puts down the magazine. He doesn't beat around the bush, "¿Estás embarrazada?" She sighs resignedly, she rolls those beautiful but tired, sad eyes, looking away.

Coni and Beto are still kissing, but wait! He's suspicious. He pushes her back and examine her eyes, those same gorgeous gigantic... sorry, Coni transports me to another time and place. Beto is exstatic. He picks Coni up and swings her around as you would a small child you are delighted with. They kiss. They embrace. he's a bit overenthusiastic and she grimaces and pushes him away. He drops to his knees and kisses her barely blooming fecund belly. He embraces her fertile womb and talks to the little bitty Betito safely and happily nestled inside. He firmly vows that Betito will be born into a "familia, hecha y derecha." He looks up at Coni and says that Betito will walk out in the patio each day and shout to Estrella,"¡Tú no eres nadie, tú no eres nadie!" Coni shuts him up and makes a face. She has no intention of living in that pigsty of a 'hood. "Then where will we live?" She tells him that, after the divorce, everything that Mauricio has will be hers. "Except for Monita." She does not think that joke was funny. He tells her that of course his mamá will come live with them. Coni objects. He doesn't want to leave his mother alone but she points out that she still has the naco with the strange hair. Beto then begins to channel little Betito, crawling on the floor on hands and knees playing with imaginary toys. She joins him on the floor climbing atop his supine form like a leopardess stalking her prey. She grinds into him prompting him to moan, "¡Constancia!" She returns his mating call, "¡Roberto!" Furtively they struggle with each other on the floor until suddenly she recalls, No one's home. She lures her prey into her lair to consume in private. OK, Now where's that cigarette?

Aldo's pointed question disturbs Estrella. There are way to many things that would be working against them. He asks why she hasn't at least done the test. "I don't want to know. I'm afraid, My Little Puppy." He hugs her closely, "What will happen, will happen. Whatever, I am with you." Well hitch up your britches little puppy, you're about to grow up very fast.

¡OH! ¡DIOS! ¡MIO!
Perdóname while I pause the TIVO and gaze at this apparition directly from my adolescent feverish dreams and fervid fantasies... Welcome home, Señorita. I've missed you. You haven't changed a bit... Linda! Would you drive around to the Valero and pick me up a pack of Pall Malls? Oh, and if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you make me a martini before you go?Thanks honey, you're a love.

Sorry about that. Someone I haven't seen for a long time just showed up and it's suddenly dawned on me why I've always wanted to learn Spanish...

Needless to say, it's Valentina la Monita Lopez like we haven't seen her before. She is squeezed into Estrella's famoso Vestido de Piel de Tigre. Her ebony tresses cascade over her shoulders like glistening molten black lava, her lips look as though they've been painted with blood, her eyes are glowing black coals of fire. She is wearing, of course, Tigress perfume which is mingling with her own natural feral scent and enveloping her in an intoxicating, bewitching, stupefying, lethal, invisible cloud... an atmosphere of her own. She is wearing black patent leather pumps with impossibly high narrow heels. They have been described by some of the ladies who hang out at blog B by just initials, CFM shoes (not sure what that means, comfortable finely made?). All in all, not a bad job Monita, I think you've accomplished what you've set out to accomplish. In ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

There is a knock on the door, "♪¡Pase!♪ ♪It's open!♪ ♪¡Hola!♪" Let the game begin.

Do I need to tell you who it is? He's in full insectual mode and regalia. His billowing green and gold cape trailing behind, he looks like the drum major of the Baylor Golden Wave Band having just emerged from his penultimate molt. "¿Monita?" Is that really the best ya got, big fella? ¡Por favor! That's OK, Monita has this already scripted. Just go along with it. You're going to feel a little uneasy and queazy at first but once she gets you into her space, it shouldn't hurt a bit. Just be glad she's not of your species, Mr. Mantis. "♪I've been expecting you!♪." Deep breaths Carlos, you can do this. He babbles incoherently, at least I didn't understand nor care, what he said. Monita is desperate for a kiss. From somewhere deep inside the EFVDPDT, she extracts a silky beige scarf. She indicates she wants to be blindfolded for her kiss. "♪¡Besame♪♪¡Besame!♪" she demands sweetly as she lifts the scarf to her eyes. Now, I understand the big plan here, he's to break it off. Swift, sweet, virtually painless. My hat's off to you if you can pull it off, Señor Bug. He starts off well enough. She's sitting expectantly, hopefully blindfolded, on her bed "Monita I just came to say goodbye. Gotta run. Leaving Mexico tonight dóncha know? Good to meetcha! Been fun...

Not. So. Fast. Meester Bug.

The little monkey isn't quite done with you. She's developed quite an affinity for beneficial insects. Valentina the Vixen has other plans. Monita uses her various techniques of seduction with varying results. Point is however, she is relentless. She decides if he's leaving, she'll go with. She begins to pack. Now Mauricio would be intellectually overmatched by a gifted hamster; he is certainly no match for a phantom summoned from the depths of my pubertal musings with Valentina Lopez doing the driving. He babbles about her friends. I'll make new friends. Her boxing. "Don't they have Boxeadoras in Argentina?" Oh sweet Jesús Lopez, she sits on the bed and channels Sharon Stone. Deep breaths here Carlos, steady boy, steady. They dance around, I'm enthralled, I'm not paying attention to a word they say. Would someone a little more detached please fill in some of the dialogue here, I'm going to take a moment to rewind and watch again...this time without the sound... hey! Where's that martini? Where's my Pall Malls? For that matter, where's the Lovely Linda? Just great. Tres Cosas. Pues, she pushes him back onto her bed... she poises to pounce...

Now ordinarily, beaming back to Coni and Beto is a good thing... well, this is pretty much where we left off except now they're in Coni's bedroom. Both are still fully clothed... I gotta tellya, Miss Teendreams Tigress not withstanding, this is far and away the most sensuous pairing on this show. Sure, Ximena and Rolu are sweetly stimulating, Estrella and Aldo give us a vicarious taste of forbidden intergenerational mating, Luisa and Ivan...well,,, uh, just keep it clean kids, Oscar and Jerónimo and Lalo, ummm... next!; but for downright spine tingling raw bumping of the little cars and all that leads up to that... I present... Constansia & Roberto. He pushes her back on the bed... Uh, what's that? "What did they say?" Who cares? Next!

We're almost done here, gang. It's really been my pleasure to be your guide here at Club Gancho today. I warn you, we're about to rejoin M&M (he may look like a bug but she knows...), but at this very moment, I have absolutely no idea what will happen. I'm as excited (and skeptical) as you are. Let's join them...

She has him pinned. She insists that she must have his kisses, not only on her lips but... oh my, is it getting hot in here? ... on her... gulp... body. She rolls off him and begins reapplying the scarf to those gorgeous, dark, sultry... easy boy, you've almost made it... eyes. She doesn't need to see his face. She rolls back over, blind fold in place her breath on his face... he's reached his tipping point, he's had enough. Uncle! Calfrope! I give!... "¡Ya, ya, ya, Monita!" he leaps off the bed and unmasks as quickly as you could peel a banana. She insists on that kiss from Furia Enmascarada. He can't take it he falls on her and she gets that passionate kiss from...Mauricio Sermeño, our very own Grupo Sermaño himself. Symbolically significant, the deflated, empty cranial covering of a once proud mantid lies (or would that be lays, Dr Judy?) limp on the floor.

Let's pause a moment and mourn the passing of a noble arthropod...Furia Enmascarada, truly a beneficial insect. Que en paz descanses.
Linda's back. She tells me to get my own danged martini. She reminds me that I quit smoking 36 years ago. She tells me to go take a cold shower... hmmm... tres cosas.

*John Denver

Dr. Judy... next!

Carlos

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