Caray, Caray!

Mundo de Fieras Oct 16, 2006 or “Why the Estate Tax Should Never be Repealed”
Why crazy people should not inherit $ that the rest of us poor folks could put to better use.

Disclaimer****This is the first time I have recapped and at best my Spanish is rudimentary so feel free to throw comments at me**** Also I started this last night at home and saved it as an e-mail attachment which apparently is now lost in the cyber world & I am recreating this from memory & a few notes….so hope I cover most plot points.

First I am going to begin with the broken-hearted young Paulina, who keeps remembering the happiest 45 seconds of her young life spent with Juan Cristobel (I am dubbing him JC Rulli); some sappy song plays in the background & she tears up. Diana comes to tell her she is glad Paulina has returned home & Paulina is happy Diana is no longer being held for the murder of her husband Rogelio’s mistress. Diana says something like “I confided in you before about the past”, so I’m thinking like which direction to twirl on a pole? But no that Rogelio does not sleep with Diana, but is sexing up his new mistress right down the hall. Diana has a sad look about this and Paulina looks all Poor Diana at her. I am guessing the sexing is taking place right there cause later Paulina goes into the same room and greets her brother (meanwhile sleazy mistress is gone, but sheets are askew). Damn isn’t Gabe like the coolest parent evah?

At some point two of the MacBeth weird sisters “Joselyn & Miriam” come in to fawn on Paulina in a cloying insincere manner and ask her about a “Wedding”, I believe she puts them off. Joselyn kinda glides when she walks and reminds me of Mortica Adams of the Adams Family Fame.

Meanwhile Mariangela (I’m shortening this to MA) has gone to visit her mother Aurora in the Hospice, Aurora suffers from Alzheimer’s and does not recognize MA, but still can knit a mean sweater. MA cries and Don Clemente comes up in a kindly older stalker like fashion to comfort MA and take her back to the big house.

Back the big house Joselyn is telling Miriam how glad she is that MA is gone, when the door opens and she’s back (can you viewers at home say; “Awkward” with a capital “A”, the sniveling little MA, with her protector Don Clemente). Joselyn and Miriam do a fake simpering meet and greet which wouldn’t have fooled the most obtuse, but does seem to work well with MA. Gabe rushes up all doin the 50 is the new 25 and can’t let MA know she is all shades of Welcome Back fast enough. Joselyn’s jealousy kicks up and she give Gabe a kiss as he is going to work or going somewhere and Don Clemente takes MA up the steps.

Hey I noticed there are tremendous stained glass windows next to the steps…Accident waiting to happen?

Thinking of MA, Gabe giggles like a school-girl with her first BoyBand Crush on the way to work…. When he gets to work, he & I am assuming Nic discuss his daughter and should she know she was adopted, due to her cuzzin loving.. Naahhhh she’ll get over it…
Also Gabe has something to stop Demian in business…the details escape me.

Okay now Miriam goes to work, but first tells Joselyn not to do anything crazy….Good Luck with that one. Miriam goes to work and Ingrid is standing around and tells Miriam that she saw Miriam kiss Demian the day before. Miriam slaps the living crap outta Ingrid and leaves for a while. Ingrid is just standing there like you do when someone slaps the living crap outta ya and don’t want them to know it hurt. Wow…I guess the labor laws in Mexico are even worse than here in Oklahoma.

Miriam steps out into the street and nearly gets run over (that woulda saved the expense of a bullet later), but some guy pushes her out of the way. Turns out he is some EuroTrash Model who wants a chance or something. You know where this is going, I swear if I was driving down the street I woulda had to yell, “Get a room”. Yeah Miriam is gonna eat this guy alive.

During all this Joselyn calls Karen who is still in Spain, during an earlier Paulina whine moment, we saw Karen saying she would never let JC/Paulina be together. Well this whole thing must of caused Karen some tension cause she is trying to relieve it by giving herself a massage, by rubbing some Spanish guy all over her. She continues as Joselyn is saying she wants her slutty daughter to return home, Karen gleefully tell Ma that Paulina is in love with her own cuzzin.

Flash to JC Rulli on a plane….he is having Paulina whine thoughts and she is also thinking of him in like a whine simulcast.

MA goes to the kitchen & says hi to Candelaria, Paulina comes in to say HI and we know the two girls are gonna become best Amigas…(I hope that whole thing of Gabe wanting to jump MA), doesn’t interfere with the friendship.

Later MA, Paulina & that kid “Tiny Tim Luisito” are tossing a ball around Luisito’s bedroom, he is just like his father & can’t squeal enough that he is sooooooo happy MA is back and please don’t ever leave him. It is really hard to watch this, cause that kid makes me laugh so hard I have tears & it is hard reading closed captions blurred and I swear I can’t understand anything he says….it sounds like a mewing Cat, mewing with a Spanish accent. Anyway, everyone is having a wonderful time, then Buzz Kill Joselyn comes in and says she doesn’t want Morris (I mean Luisito), playing with Paulina and MA. I guess Joselyn wants to be the kids only contact with the Human Race. Luisito now breaks into his patented crying act….which just causes me to laugh harder..I really don’t know what happened except I think Paulina stood up for her new bestest friend and Joselyn clung to a stuffed Tiger in a “Freudian” pose. MA mostly just looked like what the hell am I doing in this Telenovela….I don’t even get a good Galan.

Okay now we move to the DARK SIDE of the family tree….which actually is my favorite side.

Simona is in with Regina who is wearing the obligatory neck brace…they are discussing basically life sucking…Regina warns Simona about Tiberio & Belen. Simona says that Belen didn’t go to work…I guess cause Tiberio got her drunk the day before. Okay Belen is dusting furniture in the other “Big House”, here comes Tiberio sniffing around acting all sorry for the day before & Belen assures him it is fine. It is only a matter of time before he nails that.

****At this point let me note that Tiberio kinda plays to Demian like son Scott did to Dr. Evil, he is like one-calorie evil, just not evil enough. He also reminds me of Marty Feldman in "Young Frankenstein", there is just something way off with this guy and it is more than just a botched face lift****

Demian comes in the hospital room and Simona takes advantage of that and splits.
Demian says, “Hey that whole somersault down the staircase, certainly was not in any way my fault.” I guess he figured a blunt force blow to the head surely would cause a little amnesia…can’t blame a guy a for tryin, alas it was not to be. Regina says that the accident was indeed his fault. This causes what I am sure the 7 millionth time they have argued about this…the fact that Regina has to be repeatedly raped. Anyway Regina blurts out , “She hasn’t wanted Demian to touch her since their Wedding Nite.”

****This is a perfect shout-out for pre-marital sex****

This causes Demian to go into yet another rage, he grabs her face and squeezes really hard….Like the guy in a pirate movie when the other guy swallows the treasure map and first guy thinks he can force him to spit it out….Heaven intervenes at this point and two Pinguinos (sorry Sister Delores & Sister Sidekick) come in the room. After a little “Whatz Up?” conversation you can see the “WTF? Delores?”, thought bubble above Demian’s head. Now Tiberio comes in and of course he doesn’t know who the Nun is, but she is all like thought bubble “hijo”.

Later Demian tells Tiberio that they gotta get Chacal to whack Gabe once and for all.
Later Demian (at least I think it was Demian, not Tiberio) meets with Chacal in a Taco restaurant and they reminisce about the old good times.
FADE TO PAST:We get to see Delores visiting her brother Edgar (dead husband of Joselyn and father of slutty Karen). They are arguing on a yacht about Joselyn and Miriam & some big secret which of course we are not privy to. Chacal in full 007 wet suit slips over the side and proceeds to slip in and put poison in to two cocktails that are conveniently sitting there. Delores and Edgar decide to make amends and toast, each taking a drink before the argument begins again. She walks down into the cabin and Edgar drinking more walks around the deck, he falls down on the bench and see Chacal walking toward him with a knife. “Who are you?” asks Edgar “The Angel of Death” Chacal answers. (Actually he may have said your Guardian Angel), but proceeds to slice Edgar up big time. Delores too has been poisoned and she comes up on deck sees Edgar and Chacal and faints. Chacal drags her body over by Edgar’s body and rubs Edgar’s blood all over Delores body (in a rather suggestive pervy manner I might add)….
BACK TO PRESENT: There is also a scene where Chacal thinks about when he was in the Criminal Nuthouse and he and Demian were involved in killing a prison guard.

Anyway at this point it seems like Gabe’s days are numbered……

Meanwhile Leo is driving his cab and at this point it just shows him in the front seat yammering on and on and on about how happy he is (cause of MA), I think he is like special kids that can’t read silently…he can’t think silently….but the camera pans to the back of the cab and there is my favorite cuzzin lover JC Rulli…who tells Leo that actually life ain’t that grande…He has lost the love of his life…yes that 45 seconds he’ll never get back again and his mother is in the hospital.

What are the odds? Your mother’s doctor picks you up at the airport while moonlighting as a Taxi Driver? It makes those Grey Anatomy doctors look like lazy American Slackers.

Leo drives him to the hospital and they rush in only to find “Regina” in the midst of a heart attack and it looks like Demian did not directly cause it ….once again what are the odds.

Stay tuned cause it looks like Demian is gonna blow Gabe to smittereeens later in the week…Will this make Regina realize Demian is serious about that whole brother loving thing?

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