Caray, Caray!

Not much happening in this episode either, folks. We’re in waiting mode for that big party.

Diana is talking to Max. She’s still in the hospital room. She wants his wife to go to prison for a long time. Max apologizes. Fedora comes in and asks what he is doing there. She tells him to leave and tells Diana she shouldn’t have received him.

Sylvia is still in her purple wig. She also has those lacy wristlets. She looks like she is a Cyndi Lauper impersonator, circa 1983. Camila is wearing her 1967 Carnaby Street outfit, complete with John Lennon hat. I have no idea what they are talking about. It's not important.

Fedora comes to the hospital with Paco to take Diana home. She says she has good news.
Dr. Reynosa says we have the Irascibles in our hands. Now all is going forward for the reception. They will receive us at the mansion. (Maybe this revenge plan involves Gaviota taking over the mansion by using the party as a cover to gain entrance. Otherwise, still don't get the point, except for the psychological torture.)

O is thinking to herself. Fed has me in her hands. If we don’t go through with this invitation, she’ll put another article in the papers. (Since we couldn’t read the original article, we have to assume it didn’t give the whole sordid story. BTW, Octavia does not let her troubles keep her from keeping up appearances. She is wearing giant silver hoop earrings with gypsy coins dangling and a very low-cut purple halter.)

Now there’s a flashback to the mansion when Fedora came in and accused FM of the kinapping. Octavia got her first glimpse of Paco in many a year. “It’s Paco,” she says to herself. “The only man I ever loved, and the father of my daughter Paola. Paco. But how does he know Fedora, and why is he with her? Paco, I still love you with all my fuerzas. I never forgot.” (I guess she was standing at the top of the stairs or something, because Paco still hasn’t seen her.)

Gaviota is talking to Diana. Olivia has accepted the party in your honor. When Max knows that you want to come to the party, he will pressure his mother to have you there. In exchange, I will offer the better prize, the presence of you and your sister. You are like daughters. Diana says she hopes the plan works as she wants.

Cut to a scene of Debora in her prison cell. It is surprisingly clean, and plenty of sunlight is coming through the window. What’s more, there are no other prisoners, and it’s really quiet. Exactly how I've imagined the holding pen at a major city like Miami.
Camila comes in and taunts her with a “Hi, kidnapper.” Of course, she enters the set in the usual way everyone does here. She just walks in. It's like Mayberry, when Barney Fife is guarding the one cell.

Bruno answers the phone at the mansion. It is Andre, saying he has just visited his wife in prison. Bruno wants him to help get her out on bail (fianzas). She has some savings, and he could borrow the rest. He refuses. In fact, he still wants his $5,000. She calls him a sewer rat (“rata de alcantarilla”) but promises to get the money.

Diana is now home with the baby. They have moved the crib into the bedroom with the twin beds. They are talking about moving to the mansion.

Max comes down to breakfast and gives some boxes to Nancy. He is wearing an ugly chino suit with a powder blue shirt and white bucks. He loves powder blue. Maybe the boxes contain a bunch of old powder-blue sweaters he is donating to Goodwill so he can get some new ones.

He helps himself to the breakfast buffet. (Wouldn’t it be nice if you came downstairs every day and someone had prepared a buffet? I don’t even have a downstairs. I live in an apartment.) He is talking to his mother about the party. More of the usual rehash. Fedora will give evidence to the press, blah, blah, blah.

Pancho is on the beach with Paola. Flashback to the day they met. He splashed mud on her with his car. (Caramelo was there too. I had never seen this scene, so it was good review for me. Paola was wearing torn white short shorts and a torn white belly shirt. She looked like the famous poster of Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC.) She tells him she wants to get married. He is torn. (Remember, folks, he is already married. Oh, yeah, you knew that. But he doesn’t seem to remember.)

Back at the pool, Camila has made it from the jail to the house and is talking to Max. She tries to kiss him. She says she is running the risk of getting caught by Olivia, but lucky the side door was open.

Back at home with baby in crib. Diego says he hopes the new baby has all her good qualities. I hope he is not high, despotic and proud. They are having the usual argument about the baby’s name. You know he is not really my son. When he was born, I knew in the depths of myself, that he is not my son, and that he will never love me like a real father. Where are you getting that idea, she says. Now Diego is obsessing that the baby will grow up to be bad, like his true papa, Max, an Irascible. He says he is filled with poison. He starts into one of his rants about being a useless cripple in a wheelchair.

Back to Paola and Pancho’s wedding plans. He tells her that marriage is serious, they have to prepare. Nonsense, she says. Look at my brother Larry—he got married in a matter of hours by going to Vegas (there's a real model of wedded bliss). (Paola seems to have forgotten that Pancho has to get divorced first. Maybe she wants to have a crossover episode with Big Love.)

Pancho asks where would they live. She is used to luxury. She lives in a mansion, and he lives in a little humble slum house. But we will be happy, she says. All the happiness I never had as a rich girl. He agrees to marry her.

Max is giving Camila the heave ho. She reasons that they went together for two years, but he is having none of it, because she has been a liar about that poor, innocent Diana. How could she have done it knowing perfectly well she was innocent?

Diana has now realized the truth. She says to Granny M that “Diego is unbearable.” Granny M counsels patience. But then she becomes annoyed with him too. How can he say those bad things about my newborn grandson, that innocent angel.

Bruno meets Andres outside. He jumps down from a wall above her. And scares her. She has the money. And throws it on the grounds. She asks him to take her to the jail to see Debora. In the doctor’s car? No way. That would bring me ten years of bad luck. Take a taxi or walk.

Camila vows to get Max back.

Max advises his mother that she must throw the party.

Back at the jail, Bruno is comforting Deborah, but she can’t pay the bail because she gave the money to Andres. Octavia won’t give the money either. She is crazy. She is up against the wall. She tells Debora that she thinks the Irascibles will be out on the street

Gaviota on phone. She learns that Octavia has accepted the party idea.

Paola is talking to Rene on the beach. She tells him she is getting married.

Gaviota is telling Diana that the partay is on. She puts Diana in charge of getting Gaby to agree to go.

Pancho comes home and sees Caramelo cleaning. He cruelly tells her that she looks like a mess and he doesn’t like to see her like that. He doesn’t want to be married to an unkempt woman. She is upset. He goes in the bedoom alone and regrets talking so cruelly to her. This woman (Paola) makes me crazy. I am now in love with two women. Hmm, he says, rolling the idea around in his head—and liking it. Yuck.

Lunkhead is pondering the party with Max. You’ll forgive him if he doesn’t understand the logic, because even Einstein couldn’t get it. A party to honor Gaby and Diana? No, to honor Gaviota. Who is this Gaviota? An enemy of Mom’s. A woman who our mom swindled in the past. She has returned to take us down. Larry envisions seeing Gaby at the night of the party. You want to see her? Max asks. I don’t know. I haven’t stopped thinking about her. I went back with Pilar, but I don’t love her.

In today’s next unannounced visit, Pilar suddenly shows up at Diana’s house. Is your blind sister at home? She asks. Diana and Pilar exchange a variety of boring insults. Mostly, Pilar wants to know why Larry and Little Doormat aren’t divorced yet. Diana points out that whatever, Larry is still married to Gaby, and he’s not hers. After more boring exchanges, Pilar leaves saying that no one will have her Larry.

Gaviota is talking to Paco. She needs a big favor. She wants to borrow money so she can buy an expensive dress and jewels for herself and the girls for the big partay. Of course, he says. She promises to return every cent when she recoups her fortune. He wants to come too, but she says she’d rather he’d not. She offers some nonsensical excuse about how it would make her look weak. She wants Octavia to be confused by her increasing power. Okay, anything you want, honey. But he goes to the back office and moans, when will you have time for our love. He pulls out the picture of Octavia/Alicia. So now we know he hides the picture in the drawer so Gaviota never sees it. He won’t go to the party, so he still won’t know that Octavia is Alicia.

Diana tells Gaby that Pilar was there. Gaby says she still loves him. Diana wants her to go to the party and show all their enemies they are superior. Gaby vows she will go to the party and show him how much she hates him. But inside she is dying of love.

Back at the jail, RM shows up. Now the light bulb goes off in Debora's steel-trap mind. (Didn’t someone see RM come in. Didn’t one of the jailers see a lookalike and wonder what is going on. You'd think that someone would think about the possibilities. But no.) (It’s interesting how they make RM look different from FM. RM wears different eye makeup and a society-girl velvet headband. Where FM has a wild-eyed weasel-on-crack look, RM has a glassy-eyed stare.) Well, anyway, they have a long-repetitive exchange ending with RM's pointing out the delicious irony of how she got back at Debora--I stole a baby, because you stole my identity. Now you're stuck here. (Oh, but there's a problem with your plan, Marfil--if Deborah is in jail as Marfil for kidnapping, you can't go back to the mansion and resume your position. Oops. You forgot to plan for that contingency.)

Gaviota calls Diana. Diana tells her the good news. Gaby will go to the party. Diana is really ecstatic now. She seems to have gone into full Cinderella mode. Gaviota is planning the guest list she will demand from Octavia. Who does Diana want? Camila and her cousin Sylvia (why not Emilio? Did she invite him? I’m not sure). Doc Evil, and his chofer, that trash Andres. Pilar, so she can die of jealousy when she sees my sister. And why not ask Kiki, the guy who Pilar left Larry for. And also Bruno. There is some confusion about telephone numbers. Diana calls Nancy at the mansion and asks her to sneak into Larry’s room and Peyote’s room and look at their cell phones to get the cell phone number of Kiki. (This part really seems ridiculous. Kiki has been hiding out, but he’s going to show up at a party?) Larry humiliated my sister, so I will humiliate him. I plan that Gaby will despise him.

Tune in tomorrow.

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