Caray, Caray!

• We open with Aaron's reaction to Artemio's ruin, which Aaron himself caused by sneaking Kool-Aid (or something) into the tequila in Hawaii. Aaron's succinct philosophy: "I know he's an old family friend, but in business we can't afford to be sentimental, we must close our eyes to the problems of others." Oñate crows that through this crooked Hawaii situation they'll make millions without a single headache.
  
  
• Rod is trying to expend the energy of his one brain cell discussing Artemio's plight with Gaviota when flowers arrive. He narrows his eyes jealously. The card reads, "I've sought you throughout the world." Gav scolds Rod: "I told you no more flowers." "They're from one of your many admirers, not from me!"
  
  
• SanJuana taunts Hilario, who is dangerously deranged already, do you notice how he's crossing his eyes more? "The lady of the castle doesn't want you, you're nothing compared with El Patron." Again she blackmails him - marry me or I spill the beans about your lovin' La Patrona - she flounces out and he throws hay in frustration.
  
  
• Isa's smarmy new neighbor, Francisco de la Vega, comes over to borrow her phone (he says he lent his apartment to a guy who didn't pay the bills so his landline got cut off). Hmm, he's confirming an engagement and they're sending a chauffeur for him, but he doesn't have a cellphone? He asks if he can use her number for his friend to call back and confirm, she says yes, he writes down her number and kisses her hand, she checks out his butt as he leaves.
  
  
• Artemio has gone to Pilar to vent - "None of this would have happened in Don Amador's day, we were friends, that's why I've come to you." She begs him not to be "aggressive" with the children, she's sure there's some explanation, she'll talk to Aaron. Artemio says, again, that he'll be ruined and wonders who would do this to him.
  
  Artemio, Gav and Rod have a meeting with big Mr. Tequila Bureaucrat who says the Kool-Aid adulteration is disastrous not just for Artemio, but for the whole industry's reputation. Gav says Montalvo Corporation will give Artemio jillions of agaves to make up for his wrecked shipment, but he says there isn't time to make a whole lot of tequila before tomorrow, which is when his client needs it. "I'll be ruined!"
  
  Rod later scolds Gav for having offered all those agaves and she says she was moved by Artemio's desperation. She suggests that, to prevent future problems (I'm not sure of the connection exactly), they start a school for wine-tasting. "That's a great idea, why didn't I think of it?" He calls James, suggesting he might like to be involved in getting the school started.
  
  
• The phone rings: it's Benvenuto, full of compliments, asking if "the gorgeous Mexican" got his flowers. Gav tells Rod to leave and shut the door behind him. He tries, but finds himself strangely stuck on the other side of the door with his nose sticking through the crack. Elvira falls into him.
  
  Hanging up, Gav notices the nose and asks, "are you spying on me?" He pulls her roughly into the room and asks if Benvenuto is her lover. "These are work hours, ask me work questions," Gav patiently reminds him. "You're killing me, you have me in your hands, I can't be with other women, I'm full of memories, your smell ay ay ay, I love you, you make me do one stupid thing after another after another..."
  
  "I believed you would wait, I believed you loved me, right up until the moment you married, now I don't believe you," she patiently reminds him.
  
  Rod asks the least astute question possible: "What can I do to make you trust me again?" Let's all say together, duh. She says the moment for their love is over, they should simply be cordial and try to avoid more damage.
  
  Elvira comes in and says Pilar is on the phone. "My grandmother?" Rod queries. He takes the call in Gav's office, Gav leaves, Rod snarls and throws her flowers to the floor with a huge crash.
  
  
• Aaron and Rubberlips are lounging by the pool. She also has rubber boobs and hair as - can you call this color red? - as Teresita's in La Fea. He tells her the new tequila is selling well and also says wifey is coming back next day. She talks more about living for today, their intense and spontaneous love, he says he'd like to have her for his whole life, she thought-bubbles that she'd like that too but "it can't be." Maybe she's dying of silicone poisoning.
  
  The maid hustles in and says, "the missus is here!" Rubberlips pushes her lips out even further in an expression of extreme dismay - in fact, she's commercial-level impactada.
  
  She asks Aaron if she should hide under water? He tells the maid to gather her clothes and tells Pamela to hide in the closet.
  
  There's a lot of hustling and suddenly Aaron is alone, whistling, dangling his feet in the pool, as Minerva stomps in. She was bored on her trip and came home early (no doubt to try and catch Aaron with Rubberlips). She didn't call him for a ride because (observing him dangling toes in pool) "I figured you'd be so busy."
  
  He goes all lovey over her, embraces her, and manipulates her so her back is turned as Rubberlips scuttles out the door.
  
  Minerva says she's going back to Mexico with Aaron to prevent his having a liaison with this self-same Pamela. Minerva goes to take a bath, Aaron runs around the side of the house and says goodbye to his amante, who is very humiliated but understanding.
  
  Back home, Pamela's parents tell her she needs to break off with Aaron, and she says it's a good idea, but she'll need their help.
  
  
• Johnny Molina (my subtitles have him as Jhony), Aaron's mafioso accomplice/secretary, is upset that Aaron's leaving to go back to Mexico, there are lots of important meetings lined up, it's risky to blow off these VIPs. Aaron is renting a jet and plans to buy it. Minerva asks, with what money?, and he says, "I'm doing some very important business." He slaps her belly several times and tells her to get pregnant right away.
  
  
• Benvenuto, looking very spiffy, picks up Gav, she's wearing her spiffy purple evening gown. As he compliments her, our cretinous stalker is watching from his car. Rod grinds his teeth to see them embrace and drive off. [If you like the sound of Italian and want to see a tv mini-series which is LIGHT YEARS better than this one, and with UTTERLY GORGEOUS leads, I highly highly recommend La Meglio Gioventu, "The Best of Youth." Ay caray. -- Ed.]
  
  They sit somewhere and Gav talks about Rod. "His marriage is sacred. You're my only friend, I opened my heart to you that day you opened your hand." (Flashback to him saving her in Paris.) He feels bad that his help led to her trip to London where she got hit by a car and lost her baby. "No, I had to meet my cruel, ferocious destiny. It's the life I'm fated to live." Later she dreams about walking with Rod, both of them in white, him saying "you're the only woman who lights my fire!"
  
  Rod, utterly incensed that Gav is going on a date (while he himself gets in bed with a wife every night), drives home hyperventilating, thoughtbubbling very loudly to Gav: "It's all YOUR FAULT, it's YOU deciding my destiny!"
  
  At home he tells Isa he'll do the artificial insemination thing, he wants a kid ASAP. She embraces him, he scowls fiercely behind her back. In her usual red satin shortie, she thoughtbubbles: "I won't worry about his motives. The child will be my triumph over Gaviota."
  
  
• In New York Daniela (the nice sister as opposed to whiney Sofia) (my only complaint is I hate her hat and her eye shadow) has her very own stalker. He's left her a rose and slid about 1,000 lousy portraits of her under the door, along with a note that says her light blinded him when he first saw her but now he NEEDS her illumination. She's enchanted but I think it's kind of creepy. His name appears to be Elvis.
  
  
• In response to Rod's request that he come back to the city, James says goodbye to Meliton (Acacia is listening). He goes into the house - where she has left her eavesdropping post by the window and rushed to look busy shelling peas - and asks if she wants anything from town - he's making a little trip before leaving for the city. "Just some poison to kill an asqueroso (revolting, disgusting) rat that's hanging around here." He leaves and she thoughtbubbles forebodingly: "it's almost harvest time."
  
  James asks Hilario to keep an eye on his peanuts while he's gone.
  
  He gets back from town and the ghastly Acacia asks for her several pounds of rat poison. "Oh, I forgot, but I can set a trap..." "You don't understand anything," she thought-bubbles. James thoughtbubbles: "I hope Acacia forgets her fear and denounces Meliton to the authorities."
  
  
• Clarita annoys me so intensely! Luckily her only appearance in this episode is in her new candystriper outfit - she's volunteering at the hospital. There's a shouting patient, Clara goes in with her rosary and starts praying for him, he yells she should stop and that God forgot him a long time ago, she says it's a sin to reject God. He complains he's asked God loads of times to raise him up out of bed. She annoyingly says, "God's not deaf so He must need you here in bed."
  
  The yelling patient says what I'd like to: "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY!!!!"
  
  
• It's the new day, Isa calls Rod and says there's an appointment with the turkey-baster doctor tomorrow. Rod tells Gav he's gonna have a kid with Isa "to strengthen my marriage and cure me of the sickness of loving you too much."

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