Caray, Caray!

Wow I haven’t been this tense since I spent fifty minutes waiting for Tony Soprano to get whacked in the Sopranos finale…

Our episode starts out with Rod (who looks awfully fine in his sweater) and Gavi sharing tacos & besos in an eatery…I love you…no I love you more…we will live on our Island of love…I must work…you can sell coconuts…yadda yadda yadda…then once the whole family is on board we will settle at the hacienda & be happy forever…This land is your land…this land is my land…this land is our land! Every Saturday night we will go to the cantina and Wow, the locales with you singing Gaviota…I bet the locales can hardly wait. I hope Rod plans to buy plenty of rounds….
(Mean while somewhere in DF a dog howls and Pilar sits up…not fully alive, yet not fully dead..)
Okay I made the Pilar part up.
Seriously, if I was another patron in the house of fine Tacos, I would soooo know Rod was boinking his assistant, secretary, amante, whatever, cause this is TeleNovela land not the freakin Twilight Zone, it would never cross my mind that this guy was a repressed sixteen year old with his first love. Dude get a room.

Sofie is out in front of Rod & Isa’ s apartment…her SUV won’t start and after Frankie looks under the hood & pops off a battery cable…it really won’t start. Frankie offers to be Sofie’s taxi, which is kind of okay since he has been giving Isa some pretty good rides. Sofie tells him she is Rod’s sister and TWB’s sister-in-law & thus the keys to a possible fortune as well as all the Tequila you could ever drink.

Clarita & Dona Jose are sitting around the Gavi household eating and discussing Rod & Gavi’s amor…How someday they will all head to the hacienda..in Tequila. This prompts Dona Jose to question Gavi beinging the new La Patrona…Clarita worries, I’m not really sure why, I think it may having something to do with the locals accepting the Clarita family as the new Patrons. Well anyway, Clarita will be glad to get back.

Now Frankie & Sofie arrive outside the Palace of Pilar, where Sofie says she lives with Granny & her sister. Frankie is all flirty with her, swooping in like he is gonna kiss her neck etc…He will contact a mechanic and call her. When he asks to call her, she whips out a business card, ah Sofie…(I know she lost it to some guy named Wellington Wadsworth Wellington III, back in finishing school), Frankie continues to flirt and in payment for taking her home he asks Sofie for a little beso. She gives him a chaste kiss on his cheek; she is just so damn grateful for any attention that she is just short of peeing her pants and falling on the ground to get her stomach scratched, yes she has become my terrier. While standing on the sidewalk moonstruck, in her little chunky loafers, black hose, skirt and sweater, with her little satin navy blue tie up granny blouse….I am having a "Where the boys Are", flashback, oh Sofie dream on…you will get stuck but it won’t be with his Sigma pin.

Gavi gets back the house & tells Clarita, the plans are set…they are to take off for the Island of Love..and Rod will take care of getting all the stuff packed up, they are only to take their clothes. Clarita is all upset that they have to leave her awesome new Big Screen Television…but Gavi promises all will be taken care of, (somewhere in the distance you hear an anvil fall).

Isa is pacing in the living room wearing her little satin red robe, a great favorite of Aaron, Frankie and Hilario, however not so much with Rod. "What are you doing up?" he questions her…Well I called the office and no-one answered…They have the usual minor MariAnna Franco word scruffle and Rod blows her off and Isa is left to look perplexed and alone in the living room.

Next Day at Work & Rod is toiling Away

Next day, Rod tells the HR stoolie to draw up papers to cut MariAnna her final check, plus a little bonus…he tells stoolie guy to keep it on the quiet. Gavi comes in and Rod tells her the plans are in the works, she & Ma are to go to the isle, he will dump Isa over dinner & fill the family in tomorrow…(I am seeing a flaw here…he if dumps Isa tonite, gee the news tomorrow will be like an Uber surprise right, cause you know Sofie is on speed dial)

Anyway, he calls Elvira in and has her take a memo: Attention: "Hola Sr. and Srs. Mexico and all the ships at sea." Big family junta tomorrow and yeah, the topic is a surprise…
Isa/TWB is at home talking to her father, the news about Rod forgiving the debt, Pa urges her to get Rod to sign the papers and get them to the bank as soon as possible. Isa promises Pa she will talk to him tonight.

Primo Aaron comes in to the office to see, Primo Rod…the salutations, the hugs, geez this family is tight.
Rod tells him to cancel his trip to Miami, Aaron is none to happy about this. Rod says there is a meeting tomorrow and he needs Aaron to be there. As Aaron’s one eyebrow is going up you can see his Crapdar is going off and he is a bit, not a blatant full muy impacted, but a subtle muy impacted. What the hell are you thinking Aaron wonders. Rod won’t give Aaron any details. Rod pulls out the contracts and starts reading hem and Aaron’s eyebrow is now in full arch.

Now Gavi is in her office having one of her heart to hearts with the Virgincita, which is good for Gavi, but probably a bit much for the Virgincita…oh tonite Rod will give the news to Isadora, she will suffer…but our love is true. I bet the Holy Beings, just hate this kinda stuff, "yeah I know I’m kinda committing a sin, but if isn’t too much trouble will you bless it and I’ll never sin again?" Anyway, Gavi hopes Isa is spared too much suffering, Ahhhh little Gavi, I think Isa will be able to find something to distract her.

Aaron comes outta Rod’s office and asks Elvira where Onate is, Elvira doesn’t not know, Aaron orders her to have Onate call Aaron at home.

Onate is busy at the Aeropuerto, totally creeping some poor counter attendent girl out. He wants the list from the 31st of Dec, as he is doing crazy ass Minerva’s detective work for her. The girl won’t give up the info.

Elvira, who I might add is wearing some scary "Oprah said don’t" blue eye shadow and she happens into the HR stoolie’s office, of course it takes about two nano seconds for her to scope out MariAnna Franco’s file open on the desk, with very little arm twisting she gets the info outta HR guy.

Aaron arrives back at his apartment and tells Minerva that the trip is cancelled and he has to go to a Rod meeting with the family the next day. Of course she thinks she is going and Aaron is like no way, my BSC bride. See I don’t understand why Aaron keeps crazy ass Minnie around, hell Michael Jackson spawned kids with less trouble and way less commitment. Words are spoken, ugly word and Minerva grabs up her little purse and leaves.

Rod calls Isa and invites her for dinner, "Me, seriously you want to break bread with me?", Isa is thrilled. "Yes, I want to talk to you". Isa is thrilled. (She has on seriously bedazzled jeans…glimmering crystals everywhere)

Knock Knock….Oh no it is crazy ass Minerva at the door; she starts in on MariAnna Franco, "the Husband Robber", please you are preaching to Isadora, the husband boinker…well Minnie spreads the venom, thick and green, Isa doesn’t want to hear it…Minnie is trying to convince her that Rod & MariAnna, were together…Isa is trying to fight it off, but like screaming fire in a crowded theatre the panic is spreading…this is increasing my panic too. OMG, Isa cries Rod is gonna abandon me….ahhhhhhhh.
Minnie tries to calm her down…nice after thought. Minnie calls Eliva looking for Onate who is still stalking the poor girl at the airport. Eliva tells Minnie that they are cashing MariAnna out…"Que the Hell?" our two besmirched wives query. Off they go.

Meanwhile over at "Gigolo Gardens", some guy named tossing Frankie around the hall…No it is not his pimp. Why it is Esteban, the real owner of the apartment and said automobile…Frankie convinces him that he was just watching over things while Esteban was gone.

Sofie and Dani are climbing some gigantic flight of steps that would rival the Aztec Pyramids, this is giving us a view of "The Club". You know the club, that place rich people go and they just call it the club, cause if you were one of them you’d know it and there is no need to waste syllables on the rest of us, the people who might wash the towels there. Dani is teasing Sofie about the new guy…Sofie giggles, she is quite smitten, she says he is handsome. Dani asks, "As handsome as James?" "No," Sofie says wistfully, "handsome in a different way". I rolled my eyes so hard at this, I had to tap my head to get them to drop back into place. I am totally Sofie running out to by the fun-pak of "Lety Glitter Pens", Dear Diary, Francisco with a heart dotting the i.

Videgaray comes by to tell Rod that he has purchased the land on the Island of Anvil, oooops I mean the Isle of Gaviota, 10% down and the rest later…Rod is soooooo excited. He packs up his little briefcase and stops off to tell his little Gaviota, it is smooth sailing from here on in, just gotta go dump Isa, send Pilar into life support, (well that won’t be much of a stretch). They hug, they kiss, they make me want to write bad checks…anyway if the blood wasn’t pounding so hard in their ears right now, you know they would hear it, you know the anvil sound…Rod takes off, leaving Gavi’s door partially open.

Gavi is sitting at her desk belting out the Gaviota Song; no she isn’t humming or doing that kinda whisper voice thing, no she is belting it out. Minnie & TWB are coming down the hall, if Gavi wasn’t crooning so loud, she wouldn’t have heard the squeal of TWB’s boots coming to a halt. WTF? This is a Super Terminal Case of Muy Impacted. TWB recognizes the voice…it is her, MariAnna is Gaviota. TWB is so taunt with outrage, that it is only an act of God that keeps one of those giant crystals from flying off those jeans and impaling Gaviota. "You are crazy," Minnie says, "It is a popular song, I hear it all the time."
I am laughing like yeah, strangely when you are sitting in your apartment or at Pilar’s that song always in the background, ya think?
***The song might be in Spanish, but all I am hearing is "I hear the train a comin´it´s rolling round the bend" Wile E. Rod, that Acme Train is coming thru the tunnel ***

Minnie, for once does the prudent thing and drags Isa off to the Meeting Room, they close the door. Minnie is trying to calm her down. MariAnna can’t possibly be Gaviota, Gaviota was some migrant worker who shoveled Agave, what was her name? Teresa Hernandez? Well see now…Isa is all shades of hysterical, everything must be falsified cause Isa knows that voice, good gawd she had to listen to that freaking cassette often enough. Good point Isa. They call HR stoolie and have him bring the MariAnna Franco file of deception.

Poor, poor Rod is busy telling Videgaray how awesome life is gonna be, not hearing the anvils over the sound of the traffic in Mexico City.

Minnie and Isa are grilling HR stoolie so hard, he is about to cry like a little girl…at every question, he thought bubbles….yes he remembers her stories about her European work and schooling and how she was gonna get him references and letters…In the midst of ripping him a new and unnecessary orifice…it comes to light that stoolie guy passed MariAnna through so quickly on the orders of Aaron. They boot stoolie out.

Minnie grabs the phone and in her best English, calls the numbers…nope nada, no one has ever heard of MariAnna.

Gavi is having a snack with her friend Margarita and telling her how grateful she is for all the help Margarita gave her, Margarita is like you make it sound like it is over….

Minnie and Isa are having it out in the meeting room, this almost turns into a "Girls Gone Wild" wrestling match…It is so loud Gavi & Margarita hear the noise. There was less screaming in Gone With the Wind as Atlanta burned. Elvira is banging at the door… Minnie says everything is fine…and locks the door, Isa is so one hard slap away for her own good….

Minnie calls Aaron and tells him that MariAnna is Gaviota….now Aaron is Muy Impacted….
& I don’t know about you, but I am muy Impacted…I so want a Isa/Gavi slap down.

Stay tuned….

It looks like the family is gonna have a Gavi-vention tomorrow and try and save Rod from himself…

Labels: Destilando