Caray, Caray!

As mentioned yesterday, the EWWWW factor is very high as Piero and Lidia suck face Emiliooo openmouth bass style. He wants her to come back to work for him so he can suck on her face every day, she says no. They use ‘sensual’ voices (let me put about a million quotes around ‘sensible’ since it didn’t work) and groan at each other. I guess this turns them on. Whoa – she pushes him down on a chair, then pulls down the top of her dress, stopping thisclose to letting her goodies spring free. That was a close one. I was actually expecting to see something there, forgot I was watching basic cable. Good thing I guess, Piero might have been in even MORE trouble than he already is. Wifey walks in and catches them and goes apeshit, trying to kill Lidia with her bare hands. She then swears to Piero that he’ll regret being born, he will give her a divorce and she’ll take every penny, as well as make sure he never sees his daughter again. Piero says she can’t do that, she says she will. “Te vas a arrepentir, Piero!” she swears as she leaves the room. That and “Vas a pagar MUY caro” are staples in this situation, we’ve heard them both many times before. Someone is always going to regret/pay. In this case, I believe wifey, Piero is screwed. And this time not the way he wanted. After she leaves, he actually has the nerve to be pissed off. You reap what you sow, dumbass.

Diego goes to the billar to confront Isela. She says she isn’t proud of what she did, but shit happens. She said she was in love with Manuel. He reproaches her for doing this to his mother, who is the saintliest woman in the world. Isela begs forgiveness, Diego says he can’t and leaves. Morticia wants to know what happened, Isela tells her the whole story. What a bunch of gossips on this show, they even gossip about themselves. She tells Morticia that Manuel pursued her vigorously back when it all happened. She eventually went back with Anibal but her feelings never totally went away. Isela feels bad for failing Diego this way. Morticia says she should go talk to Diego and explain herself, he’s sure to understand and forgive. Sure.

Lidia is having a tantrum in her room, Clemencia comes in and sees the claw marks on her neck from the fight and starts to freak out. All she says is “It’s my fault” and Clemencia is apparently a mind reader, since she immediately says “His wife caught you together.” Lidia starts to whine, her mother tells her tough noogies, it’s your own fault, and what the hell were you thinking? Clemencia really reads her the riot act, she’s coming at it as the wronged wife in her own little drama so she really has a full head of steam. She asks Lidia, what if you were the wife and found your husband with some slut? Lidia proudly says that it wouldn’t happen to her, Clemencia tells her that EVERYONE says that, but it happens! Clemencia is really railing now. Lidia figures it out, I thought she was too dumb, but Clemencia immediately confesses the whole thing. Nobody on this show believes in minding their own business.

GSD takes a phone call from Mo. Mo apparently orders him to take two days off. I’ve never seen anyone less excited to have time off. Oh, and he’s smoking. “GSD smokes” is up there with “Angel coughs.” GSD immediately calls Emilia and invites her over for dinner, he will do the cooking himself.

Lidia wants to know who the woman is that Manuel cheated with. Wait wait wait wait let me understand this – she herself is the ‘other woman’ in her own affair, but when she hears of someone else doing the same thing, she gets all indignant and wants to confront her? Sorry Lidia, it doesn’t work that way. You are a homewrecker, you and the other homewreckers are peas in a pod, you don’t get to pretend you are any better just because you chose to believe your lover’s wife was a bad woman or whatever other lies he told you just to get some. Tramp. Anyway, Clemencia won’t tell her. Smart move. Lidia says she isn’t going to go see Piero again, she has seen the other side of the story. Clemencia sweet talks her with stories of her finding her own man. Don’t any of you remember, she HAD one, his name was Paco? Paco who disappeared and you have all already forgotten about him except every once in a while? Poor Paco, no respect, even in death.

Leo tries to help Mo feel better, he’s rubbing a hole in his temples. Leo blathers on about wanting things to be like the old days, Mo says it won’t happen. She asks why doesn’t he let Azul go, she doesn’t want to be here anyway. He starts getting mad, she backs down. She says she’ll do whatever Mo wants. The phone rings, Piero is at the front door, Mo says let him in. Mo tells her to forget about Andres and think about him, he needs her help and for her to be his right arm. That’s all well and good, but can she kill people and tuck shirts in with the same skill Andres has displayed? She says she will do as he says, not to worry. Piero enters and introduces himself to Leo, he enters and she leaves. Piero tells Mo about getting busted. He’s worried, everything is in his wife’s name. He wants to know when he can start Mo’s building project, so he can earn some money. Mo says it’s on hold. Piero goes to leave, but Mo says there is something he (Mo) can do to help him, that will help Mo too. Piero says whatever you want.

Diego shows up at Azul’s apartment, he wanted to know why she didn’t go to work. She was working on her thesis, she catches him up on her status. He asks if she fought with mo, she asks about Eva. He says she went to New York, Azul says “oh, for good?” Diego laughs and says no, she (Azul) would like that, but no. She says “oh I would like that? Why do you think that?” She refers to Diego as her friend, he says he isn’t her friend. He lets her hair down for her and says he likes her look better that way. He starts moving in on her, she says he can’t just show up at her house and… he says “make love? Why not?” Cripes this guy has balls. Speaking of, I would expect that most women would deliver a knee to said balls right about now, this borders on assault. She steps back and tells him no.

Emilia arrives in a turquoise dress that is actually less form-fitting and hoochie than her ‘work’ clothes. GSD is of course totally into it and gives her a rose. He doesn’t let her very far into the room before making out with her. Now I swear I was thinking before this next line that she must gag when he’s that close, what with how much he smokes and all. He must stink like the floor of a tavern. I can smell a heavy smoker from about 20 feet away, this guy is a HEAVY smoker and she’s right up in his personal space, gag. So anyway I was thinking that when Emilia says “mmm you smell great.” What? He starts on about some cologne he hasn’t worn in years. Is it ‘eau de butt’? She is impressed with his place and how he set such a nice table, etc. He rants on about the dinner he made. The stare at each other like teens, it’s gross.

Azul tells Diego that she’s tired of him playing with her like this. He explodes. “ME playing with YOU?” If I had time I’d put in a little video clip right here of Judge Smails saying “YOU HOO HOO” from Caddyshack, but I don’t have time (It was when Rodney Dangerfield says “the only reason I’m here is because I might buy this dump” to which Ted Knight, in his best role ever, says “Buy? BUSHWOOD? YOU HOO HOO? It’s awesome, I hope at least some of you can visualize it. But I digress.). I paused the DVR right when Diego’s face is bright red and he’s in mid gesticulation. I wish I had a screen grab of it. I need to work in my technology integration if I’m going to do this right, don’t I? Diego says it is her indecision with Mo that has caused the problems. Why does she keep with him if she doesn’t love him? She asks how does he know she doesn’t love him, he says she told him! He starts on about how they love each other and they shouldn’t be apart, etc etc. Lots of heavy breathing. Diego tells her that she is the love of his life and the theme music starts playing. They make out, he carries her to her bed. I’m no TV-kissing expert, but it looks to me like the actor who plays Diego is just playing to the camera and not actually trying to kiss. In bed they confess their love to each other AGAIN. I’m sure it will last until about five minutes after he finishes up. Then they’ll get in a fight or something. So obviously now they are getting busy, we head to commercial.

After commercial, we’re still in the apartment, Ceci is coming home with Andres. Ceci goes to the room to check if Azul is home. Ceci tells Andres that Azul is totally asleep, better if he goes. He says fine, he’ll call her tomorrow. Much kissing. Just then Diego the idiot walks out of the room, putting his shirt on. I guess he was in the bathroom and didn’t hear them come in, but he made no effort to hide. Ceci says “oops we didn’t know..” and Andres finishes “but we suspected.” Diego says he knows he didn’t have a good relationship with Andres (understatement of the year) and begs him to not say anything to Mo or anyone else. Then Azul walks out wrapped in a sheet. She begs Andres also, he says ok. Diego thanks him. Andres the snake then offers condolences to Diego about Abuelo. Ceci rushes Andres out the door. Diego and Azul hope Andres doesn’t say anything, but then say that they need to tell everyone themselves that they are together. Diego suggest tacos, they are both hungry. Diego asks why she’s hungry, was she exercising? Ha ha oh Diego you card.

Suddenly they are dressed and at a restaurant, talking about how wonderful it all was. I’m sure they’ll change their tune when Leo comes back and wants Diego to put out, or when Mo’s face turns a whole new shade of purple (instead of its usual red) when hearing the news. They decide to talk to Mo soon. At least he understands that they’ll both have to quit their jobs. They decide to look for jobs. They sweet talk, barf. She says first thing in the morning she’ll go to Mo and tell him everything. He says he’ll talk to Burgay and Eva, but Eva is gone another week. She says he could talk to Burgay now, but Diego doesn’t want to, Burgay will tell Eva, Diego would rather tell her personally. Ah – here comes the fight I predicted. Diego says Eva was so good to him, Azul bristles and says “oh yeah she’s so great.” Diego immediately goes into defensive mode and sweet talks her some more. They start making out right in the middle of the taco stand. They play the “I love you” “I love you MORE” game. Double barf.

Mo wakes up screaming for Leonarda, he’s having some kind of health issue, he tells her to call the doctor. Maybe he’ll just die and save a bunch of people a bunch of trouble.

Azul is up, Ceci wakes up and wants to know why. She can’t sleep, she’s all emotional. Ceci wants all the details of her night of passion, but first, what is she going to do with Mo? Azul says she’s going to break up with him and quit. Just like that? Yes. Ceci says they have fought twenty times, Azul says this time she is in love, blah blah blah. Ceci says fine, fine whatever. She’s being sensible, asking what Azul is going to do? Where is she going to live? Azul won’t be dissuaded, because she is in loooooove.

The love theme plays while we see Diego go and look for work at every Men’s Wearhouse in Mexico. He keeps getting turned down. He’s still driving the Mustang, I guess he isn’t ready to renounce it all just yet.

Azul enters Mo’s house to find Leo bringing a suitcase downstairs, she says it’s for Mo, who has to take an urgent business trip. Azul says she needs to speak with him, also urgently. He comes down just then. He looks horrible, but denies being sick. Azul wants to tell him something important, but he says he doesn’t have time and just walks past her and out. I guess somebody said he was going to Houston, because Azul asks Leo what he has to do there. Leo haughtily says she doesn’t know, she doesn’t have the right to ask about his business. So here’s what I think – he has some mysterious disease that he gets treated by some doctor in Houston and he never told Azul about it. Perhaps this rare disease is what he is also having GSD try and find a cure for. What I don’t know is how Burgay and Eva are so interested in the cure to the same thing. Unless it’s AIDS or something like that, but GSD would surely have recognized the HIV virus if he’s so awesome as Emilia keeps telling him he is. Leo also lies to Azul, telling her that Mo isn’t sick. Azul tells Leo that she doesn’t think she’ll be coming back here to work, and says goodbye. Leo smiles at this news.

Diego poses next to his fly car while he calls Perla on his cell phone. He asks for Don Chucho. He asks DC if he can come back to work at the store. DC agrees to meet apparently, Diego says he’ll see him soon. As soon as he hangs up Abuelo’s Buddy calls and wants Diego to visit. Diego says he has to talk to Chucho, Buddy says to bring him over too. Diego says he’ll see what he can do.

Azul puts a huge hug on Emilia, who wants to know what she’s so happy about. Emilia must be turning over a new leaf, she is wearing a skirt and top today rather than her usual hoochie pants. Azul says she’s in love, Emilia thinks it’s Mo, but Azul says no, with Diego. Emilia doesn’t look so approving, so she has Azul sit down and explain everything. Azul tells her a very short version of the story. Emilia wants to know if she spoke with Mo yet, no he’s in Houston. Emilia turns into Ceci v2.0 – “where are you going to work?” Emilia doesn’t seem at all pleased with her answers, she tells Azul that it isn’t so easy to find work. Emilia asks if Azul knows who Morticia is, Azul says yes, she lost her son in the accident. Emilia says she shouldn’t tell her this, but… did she know that Morticia was the girlfriend of Diego? What a bitch. What does that have to do with anything? Anyway, predictably, Azul is impactada.

Don Chucho tells Diego that the guy they hired to replace him doesn’t sell as well as Diego did, but at least he’s there and not out on the street all the time. BURN! Diego says he has been looking for work, but there isn’t any, it has been redificil (there’s that re- prefix again). DC wants to know why he’s looking for work. Diego tells him that he’s boinking the boss’s girlfriend so they both have to quit. DC wants to know if he’s really sure he wants to throw everything away for a woman? Diego says he’s sure, with all the certainty of a 15 year old girl who is certain that her high school boyfriend will one day be her husband. That is to say, TOTAL certainty. Blissful ignorance. DC preaches caution. They are interrupted by Buddy, who greets them excitedly. DC says all that is missing is Abuelo. They are all sad.

Azul wants to know more but Emilia says she can’t say more since Morticia is her patient. Azul wants to know, then, why did she say anything at all? (I agree) Emilia says because Azul is her friend. She says Azul needs to know everything to make the right decision. Azul isn’t pleased and Emilia tries to act like she’s her mother. I can’t take Emilia seriously after the way she threw herself at GSD. I guess she has the right to throw herself wherever she wants, but jeez.

Diego finds a listing in the paper for someone with experience in public relations, excellent salary. Buddy and DC are excited for him.

Diego is suddenly at the place handing over his resume and interviewing. The interviewer compliments him and asks if he is experienced. Diego says yes and hands over Burgay’s card as a reference. He is bluffing his way through the interview, giving vague answers when the guy wants to know what kind of business it was. Finally, when he asks what his tasks are, he can answer saying that he is attending an important executive. The guy asks how much he made, Diego says $400k pesos. Why would he want to leave that? Personal reasons. The guy hands the card back and says they won’t waste any more time. He tells Diego to go get a haircut or something, this must be some dicho I’m not familiar with. He’s telling him to take a hike.

Diego retreats to the billar and greets Flava Flav. He asks for Isela, she’s not around. He tells Flav what’s going on with Azul. Flav can’t believe he’d quit that rich job. Is it common in Mexico to announce to the world how much money you make? Everyone seems to know. Flav tells him to think about it a little more. He says the interviewer he just saw asked him strange questions that he didn’t know how to answer. Yeah, strange questions like “what does your company do” and “what do you do there.” VERY strange. Flav sensibly tells him to wait a bit, see if he can find some other work. Diego says, like a five year old, NO, he wants to do it NOW, start a life with Azul right NOW. Flav says yeah, but being poor? Flav reminds him that Azul’s family isn’t so poor. Diego doesn’t know what to do, he’ll just die apart from Azul. He’ll just DIE. Boo hoo.

Discussion topic – what is wrong with Mo?

Monday – Diego yells up at Azul’s window that he’s poor but he loves her. Then, Eva calls him in the middle of the night to hassle him. Non-stop action.

Labels: amar

Permalink posted by Ferro94 @ 10:14 PM