Caray, Caray!

The title is true..I won't go into the statistics behind it, but trust me, there are only so many people and with all of them on the left side of the bell curve, Well?

Before I go any further…I apologize ahead of time, cause I am way sketchy on any details, I changed hours at work & can’t stay up late. Oh who am I trying to kid? The thrill is gone. I have a serious hate-on for each and every one of the people. With the possible exception of Margarita, Nancy, Elvis & Dani, but Dani you too are skating on thin ice. Get more assertive with your “Special Brother”.

When start out with the whirlwind “Japanese Dinner” at Erika’s fine departmento. The three Geishas are shuffling out in their little wooden shoes and Erika is confused. It’s dinner Erika not Pearl Harbor. She quickly recovers when Dick Slick, better known as Rod comes thru the door. He is quite the charmer. He has a fine bottle of white wine to go with their Sushi or whatever the hell they are eating. Rod slams a couple of wineglasses down on the table and let’s eat drink and merry. There is some flirting back and forth. Once again Erika is the best thing since those little pine air fresheners you hang in cars. I bet Rod has a trunk full of them. Rod is no longer “Timid” around women. Great Swell, this is one for the annuals.

Now for artistic comparison, we see Gavi and Clarita, sitting in their modest apartment, a vinyl tablecloth on the table. This too stokes my Fires of Rod Hatred. Rod is so proud of his Doctor, she is attractive, classy, someone the family would approve of, especially if they got a discount. Gavi is lamenting her suck day to Clarita. Blondie is bound for London, Rod hasn’t called. The entire coven of Brujas are coming to the big CRT Shindig. She tells Clarita how they have to come cause Don Amador is getting some special Dead Guy Award. Tears run in a virtual torrent down Clarita’s face. Now then if that was your mother would you not wonder? Every time his name is mentioned Clarita goes all rainforest on her. I mean sure he was a great boss, he let you cut his Agave. Seriously, like that was the best job you ever had? I guess Gavi is far too depressed to notice, of course I guess each and everytime this has happened for the past four years, Gavi has been too depressed to notice.

Aaron is still day trading, he won’t let anyone leave. I really don’t know what is going on. I guess he was heavily invested in Lettuce futures and there was a report that it was contaminated. Prices are plummeting or maybe he was involved in Hidden Valley and this would have an effect on him? Maybe he was making some kind of alcohol out of lettuce. I am so lost. Anyway he gets to act all pissy and push people around which is fine with me.

Hil comes home to find the buxom SanMama on his couch. She does not hear him come in and he wakes her up. Hil is mad that she is there. She tells him that he is going to be a father, as she in true soap opera form rubs her belly. Hil says he doesn’t believe the kid is his, plus he had to be drunk to do her, plus she smells like a barn. Way Harsh Hil, I am glad to see you too are a bit of an ass. I guess in the next couple of episodes we will get to see Elvis bitch slap Pilar down the steps, really it would be a bad thing kind of.
SanMama says you’ll be sorry. She leaves.

How weird his Mom is sitting on the bed writing a letter to her beloved son. Roman comes in and chides her. They get into it. Roman will never forgive Hil for falling in lust with the Patron’s wife. Ofelia rants at Roman. Now then, why in the hell doesn’t Ofelia take some of that money Roman has been squirreling away for years and hop a bus to the city? Really buses run to Mexico City daily. Shut the Hell up and do something about it.

Rod has further conversation with Erika, she says he still loves Gavi. That roles right off Rod, it does not appear to me that he is thinking of Gavi right now. I’m not really sure what Erika is trying to pull right now, cause she keeps the Gavi thing going, which I don’t get cause hey he is in your house, feeding you sushi, fine wine & he gave you his 4-H trophy. The most Gavi ever got was some free samples of Tequila, some guava juice and her socks knocked off in a crappy island hut. Sorry I forgot about the one of ten thousand silver agave necklace.

Later Rod is at home, terrorizing his NotBaby with some kind of space invader thing, that made loud noise. I think it was for ages 3 and up. Isa comes in and is like How goes it? Rod whips out the bills, like it could be anything else. Rod starts yelling about where in the hell is she spending all this money. Isa takes Rod’s NotBaby and leaves the room.

Erika is talking to I guess her shrink on the phone. She tells him she can’t continue to see Rod cause it is very dangerous. Not cause he is a maniac sociopath, crazed garment sniffin stalking thief, but because he is in love with another woman. Gee your loss move on. Sadly Erika is in love with Rod.

Gavi is in bed crying to herself, Rod has forgotten her. Well yeah Gavi kinda.

Say this would be a good time for a song: What could say it better than Tainted Love
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I've lost my lights
I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Ed….if you get a chance check our Tainted Love on YouTube
The SoftCell Version..it was voted the gayest video of the eighties…wow who knew?

Rod meanwhile tossing and turning he can’t sleep at night, gets Isa all wound up. He starts saying he can’t find Isa’s Pa. He doesn’t return his phone calls and he only pays the interest not the principal. Yeah you gave a huge loan to a chronic gambler. Is it too late to say bad choice. What’s next Rod free Tequila samples at the AA meetings.

Finally Finally it is the next day….

Margarita is talking to Rod, Gee has the CRT called, he asks. “Well no”, says Margarita, “Not since you sent the e-mail telling them to go screw themselves”.

Now we get to see Rod talking to his cell phone..are you happy that I have left you alone.
Gavi talks to her cell phone..just eight numbers..you never call.

Gavi is in talking to Dr. Dull. Blondie is saying that yes he has to go to London, I think the Agave is ripening too early due to global warning. Maybe Blondie the airbag will go to the cooler climes and blow some cool air down. Gavi will be very sorry to see him go. My Gawd this girl so needs a night out. 20 million people in Mexico City, and you are stuck with these two AssHats. Gavi is so desperate she is drinking his coffee. It starts like that, the first couple of cups are free…then

Av* wants to see Dr AssHat in his office, but before he goes he makes some of that could be taken two ways small talk. Insisting she call him Alonso. He leaves and Gavi has that deer in the headlight, muy impacted look. Stop Stop Stop, I have been far too generous with you up until now. Just because a guy isn’t pouring shooters down your throat, admiring your form as you work in his fields & knocking your workboots off under the only shade tree in a hundred miles, does not mean he is not coming on to you. He told you he loved you before he went to Japan, did he stutter?

Av* is rounding up Blondie for a trip to Guadalajara, the only reason I can think of is that Av* wants to commit suicide and just can’t bring himself to do it. Trusting that spending time with Blondie will probably stiffen his spine right up. Anyhow I think this too has to do with the mysterious Global Warming.
Av* asks if Blondie has asks Gavi to throw caution to the wind and run off to London. No he is waiting, waiting to see how she & Rod react when they see each other. Like if a bottle of Tequila was missing and strange noises were coming from the coat room, why the noble Blondie would just raise a cup of java and salute the fates. As if, he’d have his big head right in there, but hey why waste the calories it would burn to ask her a question. He who hesitates is lost.

Roman is dragging a couple of suitcases around the hacienda, Sofie is standing there and gives him instructions. Ofelia is too watch for Frankie’s cell phone bill. James comes in and starts to talk to Sofie, here comes Frankie in his best Tennesse William’s, big southern planter guy white suit. It is time to go to see Granny. Frankie wants to wash the Sulfate crap off his hands. I forgot he was doing a deal with the watered down chemicals earlier with Basilo, who really is not as hawt as I once thought. Just another childish dream of mine shattered. While Frankie is gone, Sofie feels James in on the phone bill idea. What says James, are you not trying to work things out? Aren’t you having his hijo? Sofie answers no it was “Una Falsa Alarma”, how cute is that? “Una Falsa Alarma”, see these people could speak English if they would just try. James is like Yipppppeeee. Frankie comes back down. James gives Sofie a kiss on the cheek before she leaves. Frankie looks all concerned…As If. They leave and young James sits on the steps with a big old “Pleasantville” smile on his face. Sofie isn’t pregnant and it looks like Acacia is a permanent resident at “Loco Acres”, geez could life get any better?

Av* calls Gavi in to meet some artist guy, I have seen him in other TeleNovelas. They have some fine muy magnifico, modern painting to express that Mexico is a totally hip happening place. I think it is part of the Dead Guy party.

Dani meets Elvis and tells him she is tracking down Sperm Doctor, I think he was out of the country and had his appendix out. Please I had mine out two years ago and I was back a work in a week. I was out of the hospital the next day. It is just done with a scope thing now. I would indeed volunteer to grow it back though for the morphine and a paid week off from work.

Isa is on the phone screaming at her Ma trying to track Pa down. She wants him to make good on the debt pronto.

Aaron is still watching the markets..sell sell, no no, suddenly the price of lettuce goes through ceiling, sell sell, Aaron is rich, he is a genius, he makes all his trader slaves clap for him.

Rod & Bruno sit and talk about the state of Agave, the plague is back in the area. Ya think? What till they find out the Hacienda is the epicenter. Oooooopppppsss, leaving Frankie in charge, Bad Rod Decision #482. They want a meeting with Aaron, but he is gone home. Bruno shows his disgust over the day trading.

Aaron runs in and tells Minnie, we’re rich, we’re rich, it’s just like when Jed told Granny about the Texas-T, only Aaron is a lot more snotty and self congratulating, then Jed was when to his and the opossum’s good fortune he missed his shot. Minnie is thrilled. You can see she is proud of her boy, she has a “He is all mine” look on her face.

Clarita, Gavi & Jose (Frankie’s Ma) are sitting around eating some pretty yuck looking food. Whatever it is, they like it. Jose says Frankie doesn’t like food like that. This leads to another argument between Jose & Clarita. Jose got a promotion at work. Gavi says it is Clarita’s birthday tomorrow, Clarita has a funny look on her face, what is it? Oh yeah, now I recognize it, it is the same look I had on my face when I was seven, “I never get nothin good for my birthday”. Gavi says they will go to Jose’s hotel and celebrate & guess what Jose gets to go as a guest. Sweet.

This is all I can stand…Also Hil came to see SanMama at Cassandra of the scary eyebrows, he lamented about Isa. But for the life of me I don’t know what he said. I just didn’t want to go down that road with Benjamin & Mrs. Robinson.

Stay tuned tomorrow for more of the same.

Labels: Destilando