Caray, Caray!

Well fans of Destilando…this is going to be short and fast. I have to be at the airport at 6:00am, so feel free to add any fun facts I may skip over.

The show begins with a replay of Sofie’s mia culpa..Jose & Isa getting the news that Frankie is dead.

Now in a moment of family bonding that would make Dr. Phil “Family First”, wipe a tear from his eye; Isa & Jose join together to go retrieve the charred remains of Frankie and give him a fine decent Christian burial. Isa isn’t doing it for the RatBastard Sperm donor, but for the Grandmother of lil BigHeadedNotRod’sBaby. The cynic in me says..yeah and for the rent free living quarters. I am sure that is just me as the show is ending soon and we don’t have time for Isa to pull anything at this point, so I guess we will just go with Isa now realizes there is more to life than jewelry, servants, fast cars and hawt boytoys. A lesson I will be certain to keep in mind should I win the lottery…. or not.

Dani & Elvis are sitting on the floor of Pilar’s house. Dani laments the bad luck the family is having. Elvis is the man with the plan, he tells Dani come on, Elvis is going to help them. Awesome I think to myself, maybe he is gonna go all 70’s James Brown Gangster on Aaron’s Ass.

Minnie is at home talking to Fredra.
I must insert here that I have noticed Fredra has been dressing all English, ruffles and jackets as of late, Que the Hell? She has really gone all Camilla Bowles. Minnie tells Fedra that Isa played hide the salami with Aaron. Fedra does her usual fake look of surprise. Minnie is all, don’t pull that with me, I know you know everything Aaron does. Fedra tries to look innocent. Minnie goes on to bring up the whole Pammy incident. Minnie tells Fedra, “I will tell you exactly what I told Aaron, one more indiscretion and I will take this little Varron I’m packing and its off to Spain. The kid will come back to be the rightful owner to the entire fortune.” Fedra is Muy Impacted.
----Minnie is unaware that the fortune is now down to some bad Tequila and some Agave putrefying in the warm sun of Jalisco.

Aaron & Bruno are having ugly words over the Rod situation, Bruno says the only reason Rod is in jail is cause he tried to protect Gavi, but Bruno isn’t accusing Gavi he is just telling Aaron that he isn’t going with Aaron’s whole story.

Aaron has one of his snorting coke fits. Aaron yells at Margarita, he wants Quintana to have the financial records by 11:00. Aaron is acting all crackwhore in front of newchick, I think she is the new secretary who will replace Margarita. This newchick looks like she wants to rethink her employment options.

Pilar & Videgaray are having a sit down with Av*, they fill him in on the whole “Rod confesses to anything and everything”, this was done to protect MariAnne Franco (Gavi), I can see Av’s jaw clench. For the love of Gawd, he must gnash his teeth and pull at his remaining hair every time her name is mentioned. Well Gavi can’t know that Rod is in jail or why. Shhh it is a big secret, she will return. Rod is going to work this out, soon, real soon. Av* says he will do everything he can to keep her in England, but if the authorities want to talk to her, she will return to England. Pilar continues with the not that I really love Rod more, but Aaron seems to be the RatBastard behind the whole thing.

Now flash to merry ol England. Gavi and her newboss are talking about Tequila, Gavi spouts some brown-nosing Tequila fun facts. Newboss has that glazed eye expression, we have all known and come to love. It is the El KaBong look, if this was a cartoon the men would have *’s instead of eyes meaning they were totally overwhelmed by Gavi’s Gaviness. However, even though he has * eyes, alas he does not have time to act this as the show is ending.

Now flash to Rod, he is sitting in the prison playground. Behind Rod we see other prisoners doing that scene from the 'Código Postal' commercial where all the cool kids play volleyball, only these guys are wearing prison khakis instead of thongs. Rod always the loner is sitting with a tear running down his cheek thinking of Gavi. OMG can you believe it? Gavi is sitting at her new job thinking of Rod, with teary eyes.

Back at Pilar’s it appears there is an exorcism going on. This is so Naco, as if Pilar would allow bad spirits in her house; that is just so common. The guy is Elvis’s uncle and he has the smoking incense, the herbs and so on. He is singing a song that the words “Baba Lu” are often repeated. Here is a link to the whole BabaLu thing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babalu

Personally I think the James Brown Gangster treatment would have gotten better results. Pilar comes home and the three (Tio, Elvis and Dani) are walking around casting out evil. Pilar starts to put up a protest, but I think she is loosing the will to berate underlings.

Over at LaCoca central, Aaron comes out of his office, it is 11:00 and where the hell is Quintana? Quintana comes running up with two big 3inch binders. Aaron jerks one out his hands and walks off. Quintana gives the other to Margarita, it is the copy of the financial records that Dani requested.

Aaron & Soto are looking over his records. Soto says they are clean. He asks Aaron if anyone else could have any knowledge of Aaron’s illegal dealings? No no one. Aaron says Fedra & Minnie don’t know. Then he remembers Pammie and the USB theft. Aaron does one of his trying to swallow a huge fur ball fits. Aaron has NewChick call Pammie. Pammie is lying on the couch, Pammie’s Ma comes in. The phone is ringing and ringing. Poor Ma thinks Pammie is having another episode. No, Pammie is just lying on the couch in the same position she has been in for the past two years. Move on. Finally Pammie answers the phone. She tells NewChick that Pammie is on a vacation and won't be back for a month. She hangs up and tells her mother. Pammie knows Aaron is worried about the USB, she knows it is a result of her father going to the CRT about Aaron’s business dealings.

Dani & Vigaray to see Rod in jail. Geez he has been in the slammer like two days and it doesn’t seem to me he is doing much to pay his debt to society. I mean I know he is innocent, but dude did cop a plea. Anyway, Av* calls Videgaray and he steps away to take the call. Dani finds out the romance killing lies that Rod told Gavi. Once again, Dani laments Rod’s stupidity. Hey it will be okay cause they are going to prove his innocence then it will be all sunshine and smooth pavement back to Gavi.

Pammies Pa is talking to Av*, the talk is about Pammie testifying to Aaron’s bad business dealings. Alas laments Pa, if only we knew the password.

Pammie is playing with the USB, she gets a text mail from Aaron. He signs it Biche. The light goes on. She plugs in the USB and types in Biche…No Access, she types in Bichito and the files part in an act of heavenly retribution that hasn’t been seen since Moses parted the Red Seas. Bichito, can you believe it? I would have bet my life on the Spanish version of “Big Swinging D*ck”, this was the big term used during all the 80’s insider trading. Anyway of course it is now a shout out to Elton John & Cosmic Justice with a few lines from..

The Bitch is Back

I was justified when I was five
Raising cane, I spit in your eye
Times are changing, now the poor get fat
But the fevers gonna catch you when the bitch gets back

Feeling warm Aaron? Cause the fever is coming

Meanwhile, we get a couple of outside shots of downtown Madrid, it is night and there really aren’t many cars on the road.
---Readers, I recently heard on NPR that Spain has the highest consumption of cocaine per capita of any country in the world, and even without the cocaine, Madrid is like a bustling metropolis. Now that Dr Blando has arrived, well things just seem a bit depressed, people just sit around with the drapes drawn contemplating the emptiness of existence. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Av* has called Blando and tells him he needs to go to London. Blando guarding his heart, queries “Is Rod with Gavi?” “No”, Av* answers, “Gavi is alone”. Blando has that same look on his face that “The Beaver” used to get every time Miss Landers was nice to him. Av* hangs up and shakes his head while thing of people and their illusions.

Now over in Tequila, the rapidly expanding SanWanna runs into Carmelo on the street. She is looking quite pregnant. Carmelo offers to marry her and give the baby a father. SanWanna hugs him and thanks him and gives him the generic, it’s me not you and someday you’ll meet a wonderful girl who deserves you and have awesome kids. Crispin watches from across the street and writes it all down. I am amazed, not that the old gossip is eavesdropping, but that he is sober enough to write.

Sofie is talking to Ofelia, she tells her that she believes Hil is the father of the kid and after all Ofelia and Roman are the grandparents and how you can’t turn your back. Ofelia goes to make Tamales. I guess we are supposed to “Like” Sofie now that she is reformed. I say bah to that. Sofies little ray of sunshine is soon banished as here come the bankers, they are wanting to see the records. I am not sure, but I’m thinking liquidation of all things Hacienda may soon be in order.

Now back to England. NewBoss is on the phone with Av*, he talks to Gavi. Av* tells her that he has heard great things about her work. (seriously, this just makes me feel my own position in life of a “Source of Constant Disappointment”, that much more deeply). Gavi has been on the job like one day and already she is the shining star. Gavi with out coming out and asking is like, so how’s thing in Mexico? Meaning has Rod been looking for me? Av* answers nothing new, everything is fine, but he is very unconvincing.

On over to Gavi’s new digs. Clarita & Gavi are chatting it up when there is a knock at the door. Clarita answers the door and all she can say is yes to any question. Gavi comes over and the man introduces himself as Thomas. He is the hotel guy that will help them and keep an eye on things. Clarita is kinda flirting with him, then Gavi has to translate. Gavi does a fine job, being that she has that quickie course taught by the nuns those four long years ago. Thomas promises to keep an eye on Clarita. Gavi teases Clarita about Thomas and clearly Clarita is feeling feelings she hasn’t felt since she sucked in dust trailing after Don Amador as she walked while he rode a fine horse back in the salad days on the Hacienda.

Flash to Rod in prison shirtless and doing push ups, Rod is not suffering from the high carb prison diet. As he does his pushups you can see a half shoe on the upper bunk on the right side. That is either his new bunk buddy or the case of his missing Zappatos has just been solved.

Another knock at the door..Gavi answers and who is standing at the threshold? None other than Dr Blandie. Gavi is almost as Muy Impacted as I am.

Kids let this be a lesson to you…like an STD, Dr Blandie comes back. Take all that medication and stamp it out in the beginning, don’t let yourself be surprised by a knock on the door.

Looks like there were previews for tommorrow nite…
Seems like Clarita is trying to get Thomas drunk on Tequila. Now all she needs is a big tree.
Like daughter like mother.

Labels: Destilando