Caray, Caray!

Lots of singing tonight from our two musical stars. Of course I don't at all mind Ninel Conde's 'singing' (what, there was sound?), but even more surprising was that I enjoyed listening to old woodenface Pablo Montero as well. Maybe that style of music, like the theme song, is growing on me. Can anyone tell me what that style is called? Ranchero? I'm clueless except for a few types I don't like, like reggaeton (bleah) and whatever that style is that has like 10 accordians per band.

For some reason no captions tonight, so I had to wing it. I think I did ok for the most part, I must be learning something.

Juan's brothers ask him how their parents died. Ok, they are all 40 years old. This hasn't come up before? NEVER? Juan tells the story of how the Giant Sombrero Gang came into the house and his mother hid him under the bed, holding baby Libia I think, and the Giant Sombrero guys killed his parents right in front of him. During the telling of the story Oscar looks teary and sad, Franco looks exactly like he always does. Little Juan, who at age 8 or 10 or whatever already had his bad taste in shirts, put the other kids in the back of a wagon and they rode off to safety. Also, conveniently, there are some documents somewhere that reveal the truth about everything. Ah precious long lost documents. How would we get through a novela without you. I wonder if they are kept in a cave by a witch and her brain damaged son in a cofre that glows green when you open it even though it just has papers in it. Back in the present, the brothers vow to get their hacienda back. So Hacienda Augustin is really Hacienda Reyes? I didn't catch how that happened. Or is Hacienda Reyes somewhere else? I confess that I haven't been keeping up with the comments each day, perhaps you talked about this already. I don't ever watch this show, I can't make myself like it, I end up reading the whole week's recaps in a hurry just to write my episode on Tuesday. I feel like I'm neglecting the community here, I hope you all don't hold it against me. I just can't get into this show.

Gramps and Eva are happy about some ambush plan they have put together.

Crabiela (Gabriela, who is very crabby) and Feonando (Ugly Fernando) put their plan in motion - she acts sick while Feo tells Sofia that she's dying. Sofia is stupid and falls for it immediately, even though these are the two people in the world that cause her problems. Think about it - outside of these two, even just the stuff she knows about, nobody gives Sofia any trouble at all. Nobody. She even gets hot lovin' from Juan and sympathy from the preacher. She should do everything she can to get away from these two, instead she stupidly believes whatever they tell her. Feo leaves the room so Crabiela can whine to Sofia.

Outside Eva greets an arriving doctor. Hey didn't I read this all yesterday? We're 10 minutes into the show, is this still repeat?

Crabi tells Sofia she has done everything for her (Sofia) own good. I did read this yesterday! Don't we have enough repeated conversations without having to repeat half of yesterday's episode? Crabi lays a guild trip on Sofia and asks her to do something for her. Sofia, who is stupid, says "anything mother, anything." She has apparently never ever watched TV (do they have TV in this town? No cell phones, the only electricity I see used is for lights) since she blunders blindly into this trap. Crabi even asks her twice, huge red flag, "Anything????" Sofia is dumb and says yes anything. Of course Crabi wants her to get to boffing with Feonando.

Some guy declares his love to some girl. This must be TweedleDum or TweedleDee from yesterday, one who Crabi wants to marry one of the girls. Then we see the other Dum declaring his love to some other GUY! I guess he really isn't interested in the girls.

Eva's doctor enters the room, Crabi freaks out and says no, she only wants her doctor! Of course, since nothing is wrong with her.

The lady who burnt up her face in the bakery is praying while music indicating 'comedic moment' plays. The guys come in and she tells them she tried to make some bread, Oscar freaks and runs to the other room, he pulls a burnt box of burnt cash out of the oven. These guys are all idiots. He hid cash in the oven. He says "well nobody stole it did they?" Unbelievable. Juan is in there naked every night anyway, wtf? Maybe he saw how Juan could put his entire head and torso into the oven while baking and thought the money would be safe there anyway.

Eva's doctor leaves, completely unaware that he was being used. Sofia continues to fall for the charade, she cries with Sarita in the hallway.

Crabi's pet doctor yells at her for having another doctor here, he could get in trouble for his lies! She says it wasn't her doing and then she gives him a stack of cash to shut him up.

The burnt face lady keeps going on about being sorry about the burnt money. Finally Oscar gives her a kiss, she passes out and he shoves her down the hall. The other two brothers laugh at him. I think I might have missed something from this scene, it didn't all quite make sense.

Crabi's pet doctor says that Crabi is so fragile, nobody should upset her. How convenient. Gramps says he doesn't know this doctor, but Feo steps in and says he knows him, they are good friends and he's a good doctor. Sure he is.

TweedleDum and TweedleDee sweet talk their girl and guy, respectively.

Eva tells Crabiela that she talked to the priest and told him everything about everything. What's going on in the house, her missing daughter, etc. Then she said she saw woman there who doesn't know her mother. She asks if her daughter still lives in town.

Mustache guy with a gun, Feo's sidekick, bursts into Rosario's room (Hello, Rosario! Hello, rest of Rosario! At least this week I get a little eye candy) and tells Rosario to stay away from Franco. Franco must have been standing outside, because he bursts in and puffs his chest at mustache guy. Pretty weak chest puffing though, as there is still enough room between the two men for Rosario to fit her enormous boobs in the space between them to keep them apart. She tells Franco to leave to avoid trouble. He does, but only because she said to, not the mustache guy. Franco stands outside the Bad Love Bar now, with the sombrero strap under his nose as is the style in this town. Rosario starts singing Bombon Assassin AGAIN (well it's ok, keep up the good work Rosario!) and outside mustache guy and Franco creep around and manage to find each other where they embrace passionately... just kidding, novela rules clearly stipulate only one gay couple per show. They find each other and Franco beats him up.

Eva asks again if her daughter still lives in town. Crabi says 'maybe', trying to be coy, Eva says ok then I know who she is!

Back to the bar where Rosario in her nice tight short skirt is actually starting a different song, she also has booty shaking backup dancers who were obviously not hired for their dancing, they are horrible. The stage here is shaped like the stage at a strip club (uh I've heard) so these ladies look like they should be more familiar with the surroundings. Some drunk guy in the audience goes crazy with lust for Rosario's boot and grabs it, two guys in big sombreros who must be bouncers grab him and drag him to the front to throw him out. There they see mustache guy all bloodied up, they drag him backstage, Rosario sees this all happen.

Juan is again baking shirtless. I hope he checked the oven for cash before he lit the fire. He sees some pan dulce he baked earlier sitting on the counter and starts getting horny for Sofia.

Feo is telling Sofia to come back to their room, Crabiela says so! To her credit, she says no, she can't. I can't believe it, she actually didn't go through with agreeing with Crabi's request. Shocking! Normally the novela rules dictate all deathbed requests/oaths of vengeance must be fulfilled but in this show we have now seen both of those things tossed aside since the people involved are hot to trot with each other. She tells Feo that she can never love him, she has explained so many times before (we know, we've seen most of those times in the last month).

Some cool background music plays as Juan rides his horse to go see Sofia. Outside of the comical music, most of the music on this show has been excellent. Bombon Asesino has its own special charm too. When seen performed live I mean.

Franco is still moping over the charred money when Franco comes home. They talk about how Juan is so awesome for saving them way back when. They must help him get back the hacienda! I know, says Oscar, you'll sing! First he says we, then just Franco. He'll be the manager, taking 70%. Franco says 50/50 and Oscar has no choice and he agrees.

Crabiela and Feo come out of a James Bond movie by telling all their secrets and plans to each other out loud, if only Gramps was around eavesdropping we'd all be spared a couple months of watching this.

Sofia tells her empty room that she hates Feo and loves Juan. "Yo amo a Juan Querendon!" she says. Not really. Just Juan. Juan keeps riding his horse. Sofia daydreams about making out with him. Juan arrives outside, hitches the horse, then slings knotted rope over his shoulder and approaches the house. He looks around like he's sneaking, but he's in the middle of a floodlit front yard and his horse his hitched to a lamppost right in the front there. Verrry sneaky Juan. Great job. He throws the rope over Sofia's balcony, climbs up, and starts making out with her. She of course is glad to see him.

Somehow Franco and Oscar have gotten a band together and gotten a client already in the time it took Juan to ride to the hacienda. Franco is singing to some girl on a balcony while her nervous suitor stands next to Franco holding roses. As I said before, I am a bit taken aback at how much I enjoy hearing the song. I hate his acting so much I wasn't ready for that, but he's a great singer. At least to me, I don't have deep experience in this music, but it sure sounds good. In the background, Oscar smiles and counts money. Somehow Sarita knows he's singing I guess, taking this moment to moon over Juan and write him a love letter.

Juan and Sofia profess love to each other, Juan presses her to dump Feo. Just then Feo knocks on the door and wants to come in. Sofia wants Juan to leave, but he puffs his chest out and wants to stay and confront Feo. Finally with a hundred kisses she backs him out the window, just before Feo crashes in. She says she was getting air. He starts yelling about how he needs her to perform her wifely duties. Eventually he leaves and runs into Gramps in the hall, who he accuses of spying. Gramps says "Spying? I live here!" Juan is still outside on his horse, he shares a smile with Sofia before saying "Para Siempre" as that same song plays, then he rides off. Man I love that song.

Juan runs to Libia's grave and thanks her, I guess for keeping him from doing something bad to Sofia, he's so in love. He says he has her favorite bread, then eats half of it before leaving the rest there and running off.

Oscar splits the money with Franco. Looks like a lot, the client didn't seem to be rich. They are happy with the business so far.

Rosario is in a yellow bodysuit covered in sparkly things. Where would you buy something like that? Anyway it's really tight so that part is good. She tells Feo and mustache guy that if anything happens to her kid she will tell Feo's wife everything!

Franco and Oscar are at home in their underwear oh my god Oscar is wearing black jockeys my eyes my eyes. He asks jeez please put on some pants he asks Franco if Crabiela will really marry the girls off to those homos. Yes, he used a word insinuating gayness. If he only knew that on one count he was right. I may have missed some of this conversation, the child size underwear on these two was making me really understand my pregnant wife's nausea. I guess it's fair after how much of Rosario's boobs and butt we've seen today but gah please can we just stick to Juan baking topless.

Oscar and Frano thankfully have put on clothes and are at the hacienda singing. I guess the band didn't have anything better to do and were hanging around together all dressed up... with their instruments... yeah. Franco's horse is very jumpy but his voice sounds smooth, just like a CD! Wow, how does he do that! Sarita recognizes his voice and is impactada when she peeks out and sees him there. I didn't get it, was he there to sing to her, or to sing to Jimena on Oscar's behalf?

Gramps sees them out his window and is pleased. Sarita continues to enjoy the show. Sofia sees Feo pull up in his truck behind the band, then Rosario pulls up in her car right behind him, he asks what she's doing there. I'm sure he must have spotted her before now, driving right behind him at night with her headlights on. Crabiela walks out the front door to see what's going on, is there a circus? Hey - I thought she was dying? Here she is walking around just fine. Rosario tells Feo that she's there to tell Sofia everything (if something or other? is she there for some other reason but will tell if she doesn't get her way? I think I missed something here). Feo whispers to shut up he'll take care of whatever. Seeing Rosario arrive, Sarita starts crying and runs into her room, slams the window shut, and tears up the love letter she wrote to Franco. Franco wants to know why Rosario is here, too.

Tomorrow: no idea, since Univision was running a couple minutes late I think and my recording ended before the preview. Or maybe they extended the show (there was no opening theme song tonight either) to fit in that all important 15 minutes from the end of yesterday's show.

On another note - I saw in the new issue of TV y Novelas that Heridas de Amor will be available on DVD soon! Why would anyone buy that! I mean, really! Maybe if they had an "all scenes with Pamela only (except for also all scenes where the girls were swimming in bikinis)" version it would be worth it, but otherwise no. See you next week everyone! If anyone wants to alternate weeks with me, let me know. I'm in school twice a week for the next 12 months and I really don't want to burn out, especially on this show that drives me crazy.

Labels: Fuego