Caray, Caray!

Alternate title: Fools Don't Go to Heaven, They Edit Telenovelas

The editing in this episode was really jumpy and disjointed, and a few of the scenes seemed pointless. Or else I'm just cranky. Take your pick. But here's how it went.....

First the rehash: Lucia and Charly are wending their way along the city streets, flirting and giggling with each other. Young love.

Raul is dealing with his guilt over leaving Marissa alone after the death of their parents, and her pregnancy and abortion at 15. This resulted in her inability to have children now and Raul's need to persuade Santiago to marry her. Brotherly love. Protective love.

And he adds that he wants the marriage to happen as soon as possible. Uh, that's really the couple's decision, don't you think? mumbles Santiago desperately. Well, I just don't know what I'd be capable of doing if somebody hurt her, threatens Raul.

From there to the trashbin. Only it's Alicia this time, having to sort through lots of packing materials to retrieve Candy's portrait and carving for a very angry, hostile Patricio. He's so p....d he doesn't even help her climb out of the bin, once she's found them.

Another scene change. Now it's the kids talking, Chava, Rocio and Gordo, about playing and homework, girlfriends and whether or not the chubby friend should be called "Gordo" or not. Why was this scene inserted here? No idea. Let's just say it did not advance the plot line. Come to think of it....what IS the plot line? Opinions welcome.

We zip from there to the clinic where Santi and Lalo are lightheartedly putting a patient under. She's counting from 100 sheep down and is out by number 97, giving the boys time to decide what CD they want to listen to while Santi operates. Remind me to never have surgery...of any kind!

Zip again and we're at Meño's house. He's trying to persuade Candy to tell Soledad her secret and ask her to keep it. Folks, nobody keeps big secrets like this but hey...I'm not writing this baby.

Back at the clinic, Santiago and Lalo talk about expanding the clinic to another city, two weeks here, two weeks there, making lots of money and oh yes, let's get the wives...that is Lalo's wife and Marissa together to seal the deal. Surgery continues during all this but Santi is distracted. (That's it, no surgery ever!)

Lalo thinks it's because Santi's sleeping with two women and you can't sleep with a woman twice without falling in love with her. (News to me, folks) But Santi tells him it's "different" with Candy. He's thinking "above the waist"...like he did when he was in love with his wife Paulina. Lalo, who is strictly a nether regions guy, is dumbfounded.

We cut to a scene where Candy is plucking one of Meño's eyebrows. And then a scene at Santiago's house where the maid is serving him coffee, and when he seems to call her Señorita, she assumes that he's in love with her.

You see what I mean about the editing and chaotic scene changes. Jeez, it's enough to give you mental whiplash.

Now Santi's on the phone to Paulina who seems annoyed at being asked to write to her daughter once in a while. She's busy, she's working for gosh's sakes! She'll get around to writing but let up on her already! She hangs up the phone as if to say, What a pest! Santi's solution is to make up two different e-mail addresses so he can send some Mom e-mails to lonely little Rocio. I'd feel bad for the child but so far this episode seems so unreal, I can't get into it.

Right before we break for ads, we have a scene of Patricio driving, remembering a time when Candy was singing to him as they cruised along. Okay, we get it. He can't forget her!

In a little post-eyebrow-plucking chat, Tio Meño and Candy are disputing her feelings for Santiago. She claims he's an idiot and an "estupido" and she want to hate him but slips up and admits she also finds him "divino". You're in love with him, observes Meño. No way! Okay, why do you think that? Want the long story or the short story? Tio asks.

Well, we're spared that conversation by returning to the kitchen with the maid and the butler and she's explaining that the use of "señorita" indicates the boss considers her a virgin and his intentions towards her are serious. He's a gentleman, she adds, and you, sir, are not! (a reference to the butler's bedtime escapade with Marissa).

Don't get too comfy, we've got another scene change:

Now we're out in the street, Candy is jogging, turns her ankle and collapses on a bench. Whoops, here comes Soledad. Gotta get going again. Soledad wants to know why Candy ran off the other day and never answers her phone. More fibs from Candy and she lurches up and runs off again, while harsh jangly piano music plays in the background.

Another random scene. Meño's in the kitchen with the lonely romance-seeking cook. She's on her latest crazy diet, trying to get in shape for some kind of love life.

Okay, okay...I know there's some unifying theme in all these brief scenes. Everybody's looking for love. Nobody's satisfied with their body or their current romance. Every one is burdened by wounds of the past, even the little kids (Mom doesn't love me. Rocio. Dad doesn't love me. Beto. Who's my dad, my grandparents? Chava. And don't call me "Gordo"! the chubby kid.)

Santi, the plastic surgeon with oodles of free time, is perched on Candy's doorstep again, this time ready to lift her depressed mood by renting a plane and flying her to Mexico City to visit her father's grave. Yes, she's finally feeling guilty about not being with Dad at the time of his death. So, presto, Dr. Prince Charming is ready to meet her needs. Is she scared to fly with him? Well, just a little bit....but off they go.

They're at the gravesite with a delicately tearful Candy laying gladioli on the grave when her mother appears. Impactado looks all around. But you're dead! screeches Mom. You betrayed us all! You lied to us all! What are you doing at my husband's tomb!?

Must add here that Julie suggested "Qué haces aqui?" as one of the most common phrases in telenovelas...and sure enough, Candy's mom asks just that. Right on the money, Jules!

Mom isn't done berating Candy. Not by a long shot. (And can't say I blame her.) First she flings the flowers in Candy's face. Then she adds, You killed him! He doesn't want your flowers! For me, you ARE dead! And off she goes.

And speaking of dads, Patricio arrives at Soledad's house to tell her.....But wait, first a bunch of advertisements....okay, whew. Yes, he IS the father of Beto and will give him his name and financial support. Soledad doesn't want his money. It's not for you, it's for him, snaps Pato. But I want a father for my son! You're asking me to give up the people in my life for the last 8 years to give your son a father. Don't make problems for me. But Beto will lack for nothing financially.

Santiago and Candy are still at the cemetery, trying to sort through the emotional chaos that the mother/daughter confrontation left behind. Candy's bemoaning the fact that her lies killed her dad. She told so many lies. Santiago's trying to put the best face on things by reminding her she was so angry and so hurt that she really couldn't think. (For 7 or 8 years!? I guess "love" IS blind.) Candy's also angry for not realizing that Pato had other lovers, even when he was engaged to her.

Pato, at this moment, is in a church having a chat with the Virgin. He's confiding that he can't forget Candy and that he wants to be a better person. Okay, those of you who think Pato's a pig (I don't, actually) just get ready....çause clearly he's on the path to redemption. A loooong path, but he's on it. In case you're not sure, later on he's playing golf with his priest buddy. I'm just sayin''.

The meeting with Mom has regressed Candy to early childhood. She feels just like she did as a youngster when she got caught out in some kind of mischief. If only she could run to Mom, hug her, tell her she loves her and ask her forgiveness. Why not? suggests Santiago. You can do it...just take one step at a time, with maybe a little push from me. As they turn to leave the cemetery, he turns to look at Dad's grave and whispers, "Don't worry. I'll take care of her."

Well, yes, here's that scene of Pato with the priest. Confession on the 17th hole. I'm not a saint. You conceived a child when you were drunk, notes the priest...Yes, you're certainly not a saint. But have you told your wife? (the answer is "no")

Two other folks who aren't saints: Raul and Marissa, squabbling over Candy. She wants her fired 'cause she's the b***h who's stealing her beau. He's dumbfounded by this information but no matter. He's not firing her because her column's a hit and why kill the golden goose? Marissa would like to pluck that goose and throttle it, but Raul's not playing.

Candy and Santiago arrive at her childhood home. The gate is open. He steps discreetly aside. Mom spots Candy and says...yes "Qué haces aqui?" Tension. Pause. They hug. Mom drops the packages she was carrying. The romantic love music swells in the background. I get misty-eyed. What can I say? I'm a sap (and I know it won't last.)

The lovely music stops playing and human reality intrudes with more remonstrances from Mom. (One can hardly blame her. A couple of tearful hugs and one or two "perdoname's"hardly make up for that kind of hurt.)

More recriminations. First Veronica died. Then you! Then your dad. I sacrificed my life for you three. And after your dad's death, Alicia left me here to struggle along on a miserable pension! Suddenly Mom remembers Santiago, asks Candy to bring him in and urges her to eat some cake because she's too thin. Okay, Mom's a little ADD here, but with all these scene changes, I 'm feeling that way myself. Yowsa!

Meanwhile, Santiago is in Candy's old room which hasn't been changed an iota since her "death". Even the lipstick love message about Patricio is still scrawled on the mirror. Big symbolic scene when Candy comes in and slowly erases it. And we have a reiteration of her basic mantra. Mom must keep my secret. No one can know I'm alive. The neighbors might tell Patricio. yada yada yada. Candy and Santiago leave but not before a parting shot from Mom.....I still don't forgive you!

And now a dream scene. Patricio is in bed alone (don't ask me where Alicia is....maybe cleaning off dumpster dirt) and having one of those yearning dreams we've all had of searching for a long lost lover and never ever finding him or her. (My dream always takes place in Paris and I'm looking for Philippe, having lost his address for some reason. I never find him. And Patricio doesn't find Candy either. Poor baby)

Zip. We see Candy in the kitchen, so distracted that she burns her hand trying to cook. Harsh jangly music plays, in case we didn't get it. Meño comes in and sarcastically says he'll be glad to clean up the mess after Candy flounces off.

Meanwhile, Candy's mother is trying to explain the whole convoluted mess to her local priest. He's completely flummoxed and sure she's out of her head so he advises, "Say three Our Fathers, four Hail Mary's and have your blood pressure checked. Sounds like reasonable advice to me.

Instead of a priest, Candy finds herself talking to that scary puppet Merengue. She explains to Meño cum Merengue that her life is all topsy-turvy. Mom knows she's alive, there's this mess with Soledad and she's just flat-out miserable.

More ads and then a crazy scene in Santiago's office. He's trying to off-load some work on Lalo and then confronts his partner about the pink lighter and secret smoker story Lalo told his wife to cover up his infidelities. Of course, as a friend, Santiago played along but he's not happy. And it seems Marissa was concerned about Santi's absence from the office yesterday (he was running around Mexico City with Candy) but Hortensia, faithful secretary that she is, covered for him by telling Marissa the doc and Horty were in bed together! What's not to love? More chitchat about Santiago's sins being less than Lalo's because Santiago is not actually married to Marissa.

Big change of scene. Santi's mom and niece are talking and our teenager wants to throw a 60's party to raise money for foster homes. Granny can't believe the 60's were actually 40 years ago and does a little old lady routine. Random scene? What can I say? Talk to the editor.

Meño's fretting about Candy's pale cheeks (he wants to lend her his rouge but just then Charly pops downstairs) and is warning her that her mother will surely talk. Well, of course! And in rapid-fire fashion, Santiago learns that Candy and her uncle will be renting the offices next to his and Candy makes Soledad swear not to reveal her secret.

And now the previews: Soledad wants to know the secret. Santiago and Candy are going to be competitors. This is war, total war. (They make silly faces at each other.) And Mom drops the bomb on Alicia that Candy is alive and Alicia's marriage is invalid.

Hey, who says nothing ever happens in these telenovelas?

Only one vocabulary word tonight. enmienda = correction, amendment. Meño used it when he was persuading Candy she really didn't think Santiago was "estupido"but really "divino"!
Since she changes her mind every five minutes, you'd better learn this word!

Labels: Tontas