Caray, Caray!

We begin at the Institute, where Meño wants to talk to Candy alone. He wants her to kick Gregoria out, saying that things in Meño and Suegrita’s past make it impossible for them to get along. But Candy tells him it’s his past, but now we’re in the present, and by keeping Gregoria in the house, it’s less likely she’ll let the secret out. Meño says shes rude, annoying and this morning she even said my sheets looked like lady tiger sheets! He vents some more, and Candy tells him he’s right, her Mom is all that, but she is still her Mom, so she loves her. But she loves Meño too, he took her in when no one else would. He thinks anyone with a heart would have. But, she says, not everyone has a heart that beats like yours. And you’re more than just an uncle, for me now, you’re my father, and I love you a lot. Meño tears up and they hug.

Remember how Pat got that note, to meet him in a hotel? He thought it had to be from Soledad, and as he arrives at the hotel, he calls Sole on the phone, saying he’s coming up to the room. But she didn’t leave the note, she’s not waiting in any hotel, and he’s 2 days late with this week’s dinero. And next time you come to pick up Beto, just wait outside the door. Oooooy. Well, Pat’s not upset, he thinks, okay, not Soledad, it must be…… Alicia.

Meño is giving Candy some advice. She should stop the lies. If she tells the truth to Pat, all the lying could stop. Besides, how can she help others in the Institute, when she’s not being open. He, Meño tries to tell the truth. For example, he hates her mother. But, replies Candy, it’s hard for her (Candy) to tell the truth sometimes. She just keeps her feelings to herself. However, starting today, she’ll say just what she thinks. Do you swear, asks Meño? Yes, I swear, and by the way, your green shirt looks horrible. (Yes, I think she’s on the right track).

Santi is perusing the sex-ed book for Lucía, and doesn’t like what he sees. They keep having pictures of naked men, and he’s been tearing them out, so Lucía won’t see them. And then the book tells you how to put on a cond…. It’s pure pornography, he thinks. Lucía is only about 5 or 6, she’s a child, she can’t be allowed to leave the house. He calls his Mom. “Don’t let Lucía out of the house. Tie her to the bed if you have to!” Hortensia comes in, sees all the pictures of naked men on the desk.. Hort can’t believe, after all the time she was ringing that bell, now he’s bored with women! He’s so handsome, and well, of course she won’t breathe a word to Marissa, now that Santi’s coming out of the closet!

Lulu wants Candy to tell her the truth (and remember, Candy has just sworn to do just that). Lulu stands up, sucks in her tummy a little, and asks if she’s attractive, despite her little bit of extra weight? Did her photo actually scare away Candy’s ex? She wants the truth. After Meño swoops by to remind Candy of her promise, she tells Lulu, that, well, yes you’re a little over in kilos, love doesn’t come in sizes, and beauty comes from the eyes and the heart. And it’s important how you feel about yourself. Still being sincere, Candy tells Lulu that Lulu also talks a little too much, and she keeps wanting any man, but she only needs one. Lulu isn’t thrilled with this honesty, and excuses herself to go be depressed for a bit. Meño comes back, and after Candy leaves, Lulu asks Meño if she could make the ham sweat (sudar el jamón, apparently it means to exercise to lose weight, although one reference said it was just a cooking term, like steaming the ham). Meño asks if she means pork ham or turkey ham, and Lulu says both. Meño says maybe instead of making the ham sweat, she should stop eating it.

Hortensia and Leti, the other assistant (looking quite nice in a low cut red dress) are looking at the naked men pictures Santi tore out of the sex-ed book. Interestingly, the pictures look like Chippendale’s dancers. I’m not sure why they were in the book. But the ladies like them, and Santi tells them they can’t keep them, they have to throw them out. Candy comes in and has fun looking at the photos. Santi says of course as this is a medical office, we have pictures of men as well as women for our studies. As you know we’re… he can’t think of the word, and says we’re bisexual. Hort corrects him, you mean unisex. Oh, right.

Anyway, Candy came to tell him “the truth”. They go to his office. She says she’s decided to tell everybody what she’s really thinking. Santi’s happy about this until she says he’s a coward. He has these beautiful words, but how can he say them to her, while going out with another woman? How can he breathe for Candy, but kiss Marissa? Santi says the truth is I want to make love to you. Candy says she’ll scream, but Santi corners her, and tells her that he loves her, she loves him, he wants to make love, right here, right now. Candy bites her lip, as we cut to….

The hotel, where Pat has come to meet the lady of the note, whom he has correctly guessed is Alicia. He enters the room, calls her name, and she sensuously shushes him from the other room.

Santi and Candi kiss, with beautiful music in the background. Just then, Mari comes in to the outer office. Hortensia has to keep her out of the inner office, so she starts praising Marissa, wondering how she keeps her body so firm, her hair (chinos – curls) is so cute, she looks like a lamb in the meadow (un borrego en pradera), her eyes are so blue, by the way does she want some tea? While Mari is distracted, we see Candy is glowing from the kiss, and Santiago is feeling proud, until Candy says she hopes he’ll pardon her, then kicks him in the (being a man, I can’t tell you where)! I guess this was good timing, because Mari walks in right at that point, and Candy tells her that the best man is a tired man, because if you tire them out, they can’t get tired with another woman. Santi is still in pain, trying to squeak out a few words in his now soprano voice, Candy strides out looking as if she has just done a good deed, hoping that Mari can “tire out” Santi with some loving, but Mari looks a bit confused, Candy rings the bell on the way out to help the lovers, and Isabel walks into the outer office, only to be immediately hustled right back out, Candy dragging her out to have a cup of coffee, as the doctor is “busy”.

In the hotel, Alicia enters the bedroom and is dressed in a white wedding dress and veil. Pat wants to know what’s going on, she looks like Candy. Alicia says she IS Candy. But isn’t that a little perverse, asks Pat? You like it, no? responds Alicia. She tells Pat to call her Candy, as they embrace and sink down into the covers.

Back in the consultorio, Mari isn’t exactly following the idea Candy had when she left. Mari’s a little sad and worried, and tells Santi she doesn’t want to be a prison sentence (condena) or like a prison cell (celda). She doesn’t want them to stay together just because they’re good in bed, business partners, his daughter likes her….. she loves him, and if he doesn’t really love her, and doesn't want to get married, he should leave her. She just wants him to be happy, and she would give him his freedom. He tells her not to cry and hugs her, but she’s not reassured.

Candy has brought Isabel to her office for coffee. Isabel doesn’t take any sugar in her coffee, she drinks it black, good coffee doesn’t need anything else (I agree), she learned it from her deceased husband. Oh, the Papá of Doctor Plastico, interjects Candy, then apologizes. Isabel doesn’t mind, it’s amusing. But Candy wants to ask a question. Anything except my age, says Isabel. Okay, was your husband a womanizer? Isabel says that all men are womanizers until they find the one woman for them, the woman of their life.
That’s what happened with Isabel’s husband. But what about Santiago? Isabel thinks he’s the same, a womanizer until he finds that one woman. Well, says Candy, he just has to find her. Isabel says she thinks Santi already has. Candy blushes, then changes the subject. Does Isabel really want to be a partner in the Institute? (I guess the other day, Isa said she did). After all, it is capitalism, would Isabel be okay with that? Sure, you can count on me, Isabel reassures her, but there are 2 conditions: First, Marissa, Candy and Isabel are going to buy furniture for the Institute, and second, Candy is invited to dinner at Isabel’s tomorrow night.

Post-fantasy-tryst Pat is lying in bed with the wedding veil on his head. That was weird, he thinks. Alicia comes back into the room, dressed in a few towels, and says wasn’t that exciting? Pat thinks it’s dangerous. But Alicia says that she’s not jealous of Candy, since Candy’s dead, so if she has to dress up like Candy to keep Pat’s love, she’ll continue doing it, why not? Oh, and by the way, we’re going to a special dinner tonight, with a special guest. Who’s the guest? Alicia tells Pat she wants him to invite Pat’s son (Beto), since she wants to be a part of that side of Pat’s life, too. (I have to give it to Alicia, she’s definitely putting up a good fight for her marriage). She hands confused Pat the cell phone, telling him three times to dial the number.

Ocotlan, Jalisco. Isabel, Marissa and Candi are furniture shopping in a picturesque shop filled with antiques. They see a cute little bed with an awning that looks like a sombrero, and joke about using it for therapy at the Institute. Isabel tells them that just because she’s contributing money, they don’t have to follow her rules, but she does feel the furniture at the Institute now lacks a little something. Candy and Marissa say that they have the desire, but maybe not the funds. Isabel says that here in Ocotlan you can find unique furniture for low prices (sounds like a little PSA from the Mexico travel bureau to me). They peruse the shop’s offerings.

Chayo is asking Hortensia when Santi will be finished with his patient. Chayo’s very nervous, and keeps grabbing pencils, papers, and other items from Hort’s desk. She can’t decide whether to ask for the operation or not, she’s just about to leave when Santiago comes out with an oversized woman, telling the woman to call for her preop results. When the woman leaves, Santi furtively wipes his hands off, apparently having been grossed out by her. He then quickly greets Chayo, and they go back to his office, as Hortensia implores him not to ring the bell, thinking Santi has absolutely no scruples.

Candy’s lying barefoot on her tummy on her bed at home, working on her column on the laptop computer with the big picture of apples on the cover. Her Mom comes in. Gregoria is concerned about Chava. Shouldn’t he know about his Papa? He shouldn’t live like an orphan. Candy says she’s trying to do the right thing, but she thinks if Pat found out, he’d take Chava from her. Gregoria says Pat’s no monster. Maybe not, replies Candy, but you and I are different. You pardon these things, I can’t. Mom replies that Pat won’t forget Candy. Well Candy won’t forget Pat, he was her first love, but now she’s met a man, who makes her feel things, and she’s confused. Is she in love? Of course not! Well, adds Gregoria, it turns out that Patricio and your sister are not happy. They suffer because of you. Pat can’t forget you. That monster you think Pat is, loves only you.

Chayo and Santi talk. After he puts down the Institute a bit, she returns to the topic at hand, the breast enhancement. Santi tells her of course he can do the operation, and he’ll talk to Ed about it. Chayo is relieved and happy, wants to hug him, but he thinks it’s better if they hug from afar.

Beto’s eating ice cream with sugar wafers in a restaurant with Ali and Pat. He doesn’t eat out much with his ma, because it’s expensive. Ali proposes that Pat and she can take him to a different restaurant each weekend, all right? Beto loves it, and the three have a mini sword fight with the ice-cream covered cookies.

Boys club. Zamora’s passing out the tequila, saying that next week he can’t come because he has to visit his cousin, Oxigeno. Your cousin is named Oxigeno? What was your uncle thinking? It wasn’t his uncle, rather the doctor. When the boy was born, he came out a little sick, and the doctor said your son is sick, we have to give him oxygen. And Oxigeno he remained. That’s why! (I think it was funnier in Spanish). Meanwhile, Santi’s trying to hook up the dvd player, and is repeatedly getting shocked. Hector tells the guys he just spent the night with a hot chick (we know it was Alicia) from years ago, and this time she didn’t charge him (I hope I didn’t mishear this, but it sounded as if Alicia might have been a call girl back then)! He knew her six years ago, but now she must be really bored with her husband. The guys are impressed, as Santiago remarks that connecting the dvd was harder than a cardiac monitor. While the rest of the boys go to watch something (sports, I think), Raúl and Santiago go off to have another chat/turf battle.

Knock, knock. Chava answers the door, it’s Chayo. Candy scolds Chava for answering the door, but sends him to bed with a kiss. Chayo and Candy sit down to talk. Chayo’s a little embarrassed to tell Candy, but for a long time, she’s been considering the bubi thing. She knows all the beauty from the inside, the self esteem, but…..But, adds Candy, you want the quick and easy way you think will make you look better. Chayo wants to win back her husband Ed, and thinks this will do it. And why is Candy so against plastic surgery? Candy relates how her sister Veronica died in the operating room from a botched liposuction.

Back to the guys, as Raúl tells Santi that since his wife died, Candy is the first woman with whom he felt a true connection. In fact he’s totally in love with Candy. In the background, Zamora wants to know if Santi gives medical advice. Zamora’s hair is falling out. How can he save it? Santi tells him to ask Ed. Ed says all you need is this little box. That’ll save my hair? Yeah, save your hair in that box!

Candy is telling Chayo about Veronica. Veronica was a little overweight (pasada de peso), but she was cute, healthy, had lots of projects. She wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. But instead of dieting, she decided to have the lipo, to lose the weight. A quack doctor did the operation, and she died. Candy had tried to advise Veronica not to do it, but she wouldn’t listen. Candy’s sister Alicia had supported Veronica’s choice. Your sister, asks Chayo? Yes, she’s married to Patricio. He’s always sad, he married Alicia without really loving her, I think he actually loves me. Whoa, great gossip, says Chayo, forget about my little fuss, tell me more! No, forget it, I’m not telling you anything, you just need to know that operations have risks, really, they do.

As Santi gets home, Isabel is worried, and says someone should talk to Lucía. Isa heard Luci’s friends talking about “the first time”!. Of course, Santi has a fit, what’s he going to do, he told Hort to throw out that book, now what?

We see Candy talking on the phone to Raúl, asking him to do her a favor.

It’s the next morning. Candy asks Hort to see Santi. He’s busy, and every time you come in, says Hort, you make my poor boss’s hair stand on end (dejar los pelos de punta, can also mean to send shivers down his spine). Santi comes out with a male patient, and after the patient leaves, Candy wants to talk. Hort warns her that Santi’s busy, waving her finger. Santi says what kind of manners are those, waving your fingers like a flamenco dancer? As Candy walks to the office, Santi ogles her behind, and Hort begs him not to ring the bell. But he, feeling like a bullfighter, hopes to do just that. However, in the office, Candy is serious. She was talking to Chayo, thinking of her sister, and she wants to know if a patient could die in breast surgery. Santi sits her down, and says yes, there is a long list of complications, even including death, in any operation, but it’s very unlikely. He understands her worry about her sister, because he also lost a sister. But not to medical negligence, she adds. How do you know it was medical negligence, he asks? Her sister was left alone, with no post-op info, there were complications, and the doctor just disappeared, and was never heard from again. Santi says maybe she should pardon the doctor, because after all these years, it will bring her some peace. She agrees generally, but in this case, she can never pardon.

Gregoria is in Pat’s office. She asks him, Are you happy with Alicia? After a little dodging, he admits that he’s not happy, and neither is Alicia. She’s trying to save the marriage, but it’s not working. Well, Patito, says Suegrita, I can help you..

Isabel tells Tina the maid that Jaime wanted to talk to Santi (I guess to “ask for Isabel’s hand”), but she wasn’t ready for that, and now Jaime has disappeared, as if the earth swallowed him up. Well, did you make love to him, asks Tina? None of your business, how dare you ask that, I should fire you, but no, we didn’t, the last time I made love was with my husband. Tina just wanted to know because sometimes when you give the men dessert, they eat, then leave. And she can’t even remember all her men. But if she had one like Jaime, she’d never let him go, especially since he’s a pianist. Why does that matter? inquires Isabel. Well, they say that pianists have “magic hands”!

Soledad praises Beto’s reading, asks him about the dinner with his Papá. Beto liked the food, but he doesn’t want Pat as his father, because he has a father. And the man’s wife was there, and wants Beto to call her Mommy, but he doesn’t want to, he already has a Mommy.

Pat asks Gregoria how she could possibly help. She says she knows what it’s like to be in a loveless marriage, so maybe Pat and Alicia should get divorced. Pat says, I can’t. He takes out a note Alicia wrote a few months ago, saying she’d kill herself if they divorced. He doesn’t know if he can believe it, but he can’t take the chance of being responsible for another death. Another death? Yes, he says, I killed Candy. It was my fault. She died of sadness.. Gregoria says I don’t know about that, and I know divorce is a sin, but I keep thinking, if you and Alicia are unhappy, you should separate, maybe a miracle could happen, and you could be happy.

Santi and Candi hug. He’s comforting her about her sister. The soothing music plays. But then he just can’t help kissing her forehead, her eyes, her mouth….Hold it! Music stops comically, Candy jumps up, marches out, can’t believe Santi only thinks of one thing, all men are the same. With perfect timing, Raúl enters the office. Santi says what great timing to see you, amigo. Candy says, no, he came to see ME. She embraces Raúl, and says to him, Mi amor, didn’t you tell Santi that we’re novios!

Previews: Pat comes to the restaurant and sees Lulu. He asks her, who is Rojiblanca? Take me to her right now!

Labels: Tontas