Caray, Caray!

Thank you Auntie Judy for that fine recap!

Buy Corona, okay? Moni is all ready to regain a little confidence and attempt to redeem her boo-worthy self in “one of the most promising boxing matches of the week.” Remember, these people don’t know what HBO is. Unbeknownst to Moni, they have Mamma tied up at home and are going to kill her if Moni beats the estrogen-deficient boxette. Mamma tries to escape by offering a fresh pot of coffee to the “brutes,” but ultimately fails and results to insults and freakish shrieks and bouncing.

You see, what’s sad is not that Mamma has been stripped of her dignity and gagged with her napkin, but rather the fact that some people are inclined to kill over an under-ground, poorly-attended boxing match between two sequin-studded girlies.

Meanwhile, Estrella uses her undeniable charm and stunning looks to swoon Mamma’s aggressor, with the help of Paula, as he follows Estrella to her apartment.

Well, if the object of the game were to attempt to make contact with your opponent as many times as possible without actually hitting him or her Moni would indeed be a champion. However, her opponent is a trickster and Moni is merely a WWE groupie at best. Either way, she need not worry about Mamma back at home because Paula took off her sweater, distracted the second aggressor, then eventually took the armed culprit down with a little help from Estrella and her big stick. In the end, Mamma escaped, Estrella got a date, and Moni beat the hell out of Hillary Swank. All in a day.

Connie is super jealous that Maury spends time in the country with the adopted hooligans. She basically gives him an ultimatum, as if she were in a position to do so, and he decides against the camping trip and throws this curve ball: “we need to take some time off.”

Wholly reminiscent of The Parent Trap, the four adoptees, who seem to increase in number each time I recap, celebrate the separation. They love Moni and want her to be Daddy’s new girlfriend. Fun pun: cortar = to cut, or break off, break up, etc. The little girl doesn’t understand the multiple meanings and asks if Maury cut Connie with scissors. Devastated, Connie turns to drinking and former boyfriends of current friends. Thus commences the downfall of our tragically-misunderstood villain.

Phone call from Maury. No, it’s actually the adopted kid calling to see if Moni won. Good news, Connie and Maury broke up. Click. In walks Maury and Aldo is in trouble. Meanwhile, Beto enters Moni’s room and, being the happiest man in the world, proposes marriage. What a predicament. The split of her lover and his gf is all the hope she ever wanted, but why is a proposal at the end of eight years a blow more devastating than the one she gave the little girl in the ring today?

Anyway, Maury uses the *69 feature on his sleek cordless phone to discover that Aldo was not speaking to Katia, but instead Moni. As always, she plays the uninterested, frustrated, and icy bitch.

Nothing new at the office. Moni still takes forever to do anything, Jerry has his hands in unauthorized business dealings, and the office manager is still meddling in Moni’s affairs. Although, I don’t blame the woman because if I worked with someone who shared several fashion trends with the local street walkers, I would be annoyed as well.

The secret’s out: Moni is not wearing the wig to cover up a pimple; she’s wearing it to cover a bruise from her boyfriend, allegedly. “Maybe she likes being hit,” suggests the silver fox. Naturally, Maury is on the war path and swears to kill Don Cesar!?

So Don Cesar and Beto are talking about the latter’s love for Moni. It’s interesting how everyone in novellas always wishes that their life be a telenovela complete with weddings and wealth, etc. Yet the people in all these telenovelas never have that stuff anyway.

Rolando and Connie were kissing in a bar where it just so happened that a photographer from a magazine was taking pictures of them which were later published and seen by the borderline-psycho Jimena. Needless to say, she doesn’t understand and is crying.

Eventually Maury finds Don Cesar, embarrasses himself by not being able to hit a small, old man, and then Moni barges in and has some ‘splainin’ to do.

Tomorrow: Hypocrite Maury gets furious at Connie for kissing his worst enemy. Did you ever have an enemy you liked? Don Cesar tells Moni to start talking. Maury tells Connie that he likes Moni.

As some of you know, I’m moving on to university life on September 18 and consequently retiring my post here at CarayCaray. In order to avoid any sort of crisis, I’d like to line-up my replacement sooner than later. “Now accepting applications.”

Thank you in advance to Auntie Judy, who will be recapping again for me next week. She is a gem! Take care everyone.

Labels: gancho

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