Caray, Caray!

Buenas noches a todos mis queridos amigos y lectores:

Hey y'all, I'm sorry this is so late, but I forgot to tell you that I need a sub. for the next two Mondays (07/13, 07/20). I can switch with someone, or if you're feeling generous and bored, that'd be nice also. Gracias.

Moni is the presumed culprit in the Case of the Missing Necklace. Unlike Nancy Drew, our favorite office manager can’t discern a stair case from a closet and ends up loosing our spunky suspect. Meanwhile, Poor-But-Proud neighbor and janitor helps Moni escape using the elevator. Maury almost holds her up, but being in love means having to let go, and that’s exactly what he does.

Jerry and Connie are at the awkward stage in their covert relationship. That is, both are equally sexually-frustrated and unwilling to compromise their villainous goals by admitting their attractions. As for our half-collagen, half-water spoiled brat, she will do anything to get rid of Moni. Luck is on her side, however, because the police just happen to be going after Moni for robbery.

Just as our blindly-loyal and foolishly-trustworthy protagonist proposed, there is an explanation to this melodramatic mêlée. The thing is, Beto seemingly robbed the chain from the office, however, he won it fair and square from a “guy.” So, Moni goes to meet Ricky but ends up meeting Maury. He doesn’t believe she’s a hardened criminal, but instead the victim of people who use her for Maury. No, neither, the chain was a gift from her b-b-b-boyfriend! Naturally, he’s pissed because womenfolk aren’t allowed to have men on the side. So, why don’t you and your b-boyfriend come down to the station. Never! *Punch to the gut* She will never go to jail.

Just as Moni strolls into the barrio Granny comes warning her that the po-po are interrogating Beto. Well, in that case I’m headin’ for the hills, Abuela. No problema mi’ja I already packed your bags! Hot diggity, make sure to watch your blood pressure and give me my blessings.

Back at the office the gang’s trying to pin-point the suspect. If it were me, I would cut my losses and look for another gold chain in the next box of Cracker Jacks. Anyway, the police have a description of a man who curiously resembles Cousin Jerry. Silver Fox: “it would have to be someone who knows this office well, and knew what was here.” Not surprisingly, Jerry is not even a suspect, and to some, doesn’t even fit that description anyway. So pretty much, the head of this “company” has no critical thinking skills and can’t multi-task. Clearly this is Mexico, pre-bail out.

Moni finally makes it to her secret hideaway in Zacatlan (the apple place) only to meet the man from whom she was escaping in the first place. It would be ironic if it weren’t so damn predictable. Oh, and no worries, you’ve been completely cleared, so now I’m going to beg like a dog for your forgiveness. Cue the chain of novela clichés: “you don’t look at me with the same eyes, I thought you had given up on our love, being with you is magic, etc., etc.” Fortunately for our fledgling lovers, the radiator broke and the racing champion can’t fix it because he knows nothing about cars and isn’t a mechanic. Well, no one really carries his or her cell phone anymore because both of them don’t have it on their persons. Luckily, they’ll just have to rent a room for the night—it’s like a win-win; would it be a novela if this didn’t happen?

Suddenly the dreamy-eyed, love-hungry boxette turns into a respectable lady who wouldn’t sleep with Maury even if she were drunk. This respectable lady is going to find the highway and hitchhike her way home in the pouring down rain. Then Maury proposes to find some cabins, and Moni isn’t very good at keeping up appearances so she caves.

These aren’t the cabins you went to with the local Bible Camp and school girls, creaking floor boards, swarming ants, and exposed light bulbs. No, these are fully-furnished with cozy accents and of course, a comfy, yet purposeful, king-size bed. Did I mention they also included a naked, soaking wet stud? (Can anyone tell me what’s going on with his bellybutton?) Moni acts all ashamed to see Maury take-off his shirt. Oh, darn, looks like there aren’t any clothes so we’ll have to sleep naked in the same bed. Adam and Eve love to pretend that they are ashamed of each other’s nakedness, but they secretly crave each other with an intense passion, represented in Moni’s submissive smile. Maury pulls down his pants and Moni is shocked to see so much man…

Just like any other naked fireside chat, they talk about each other’s boyfriend/girlfriend. These two know how to have a raunchy time. At least they have the maturity to not place pillows between them... but who sleeps with no blankets? Well, one thing leads to another, and Moni ends up snuggled in Maury’s well-chiseled arms. He stirs and she acts like it never happened. Then there’s this really pesky mosquito and Moni decides to kill it, but she ends up smacking Maury downtown. Well, how’s he going to fall asleep now? Moni will hum a “pleasant” tune…

Meanwhile, team Villain Lovers go to Maury’s house to tell the adopted brats that Daddy may never come back, and in their best interest, they will move them to another house where they will be safe and not a threat to Daddy’s millions.

Well, instead of sleeping our love birds decide to snuggle by the fire. They ask each other if they love their significant others right before they close-in for a kiss.

Tomorrow: The significant others are mad that their significant others spent the night together.

Labels: gancho

Permalink posted by nickster @ 11:10 PM