Monday, July 06, 2009

Gancho Mon., July 6: Bring a cell phone or sleep naked with a hunk!

Buenas noches a todos mis queridos amigos y lectores:

Hey y'all, I'm sorry this is so late, but I forgot to tell you that I need a sub. for the next two Mondays (07/13, 07/20). I can switch with someone, or if you're feeling generous and bored, that'd be nice also. Gracias.

Moni is the presumed culprit in the Case of the Missing Necklace. Unlike Nancy Drew, our favorite office manager can’t discern a stair case from a closet and ends up loosing our spunky suspect. Meanwhile, Poor-But-Proud neighbor and janitor helps Moni escape using the elevator. Maury almost holds her up, but being in love means having to let go, and that’s exactly what he does.

Jerry and Connie are at the awkward stage in their covert relationship. That is, both are equally sexually-frustrated and unwilling to compromise their villainous goals by admitting their attractions. As for our half-collagen, half-water spoiled brat, she will do anything to get rid of Moni. Luck is on her side, however, because the police just happen to be going after Moni for robbery.

Just as our blindly-loyal and foolishly-trustworthy protagonist proposed, there is an explanation to this melodramatic mêlée. The thing is, Beto seemingly robbed the chain from the office, however, he won it fair and square from a “guy.” So, Moni goes to meet Ricky but ends up meeting Maury. He doesn’t believe she’s a hardened criminal, but instead the victim of people who use her for Maury. No, neither, the chain was a gift from her b-b-b-boyfriend! Naturally, he’s pissed because womenfolk aren’t allowed to have men on the side. So, why don’t you and your b-boyfriend come down to the station. Never! *Punch to the gut* She will never go to jail.

Just as Moni strolls into the barrio Granny comes warning her that the po-po are interrogating Beto. Well, in that case I’m headin’ for the hills, Abuela. No problema mi’ja I already packed your bags! Hot diggity, make sure to watch your blood pressure and give me my blessings.

Back at the office the gang’s trying to pin-point the suspect. If it were me, I would cut my losses and look for another gold chain in the next box of Cracker Jacks. Anyway, the police have a description of a man who curiously resembles Cousin Jerry. Silver Fox: “it would have to be someone who knows this office well, and knew what was here.” Not surprisingly, Jerry is not even a suspect, and to some, doesn’t even fit that description anyway. So pretty much, the head of this “company” has no critical thinking skills and can’t multi-task. Clearly this is Mexico, pre-bail out.

Moni finally makes it to her secret hideaway in Zacatlan (the apple place) only to meet the man from whom she was escaping in the first place. It would be ironic if it weren’t so damn predictable. Oh, and no worries, you’ve been completely cleared, so now I’m going to beg like a dog for your forgiveness. Cue the chain of novela clichés: “you don’t look at me with the same eyes, I thought you had given up on our love, being with you is magic, etc., etc.” Fortunately for our fledgling lovers, the radiator broke and the racing champion can’t fix it because he knows nothing about cars and isn’t a mechanic. Well, no one really carries his or her cell phone anymore because both of them don’t have it on their persons. Luckily, they’ll just have to rent a room for the night—it’s like a win-win; would it be a novela if this didn’t happen?

Suddenly the dreamy-eyed, love-hungry boxette turns into a respectable lady who wouldn’t sleep with Maury even if she were drunk. This respectable lady is going to find the highway and hitchhike her way home in the pouring down rain. Then Maury proposes to find some cabins, and Moni isn’t very good at keeping up appearances so she caves.

These aren’t the cabins you went to with the local Bible Camp and school girls, creaking floor boards, swarming ants, and exposed light bulbs. No, these are fully-furnished with cozy accents and of course, a comfy, yet purposeful, king-size bed. Did I mention they also included a naked, soaking wet stud? (Can anyone tell me what’s going on with his bellybutton?) Moni acts all ashamed to see Maury take-off his shirt. Oh, darn, looks like there aren’t any clothes so we’ll have to sleep naked in the same bed. Adam and Eve love to pretend that they are ashamed of each other’s nakedness, but they secretly crave each other with an intense passion, represented in Moni’s submissive smile. Maury pulls down his pants and Moni is shocked to see so much man…

Just like any other naked fireside chat, they talk about each other’s boyfriend/girlfriend. These two know how to have a raunchy time. At least they have the maturity to not place pillows between them... but who sleeps with no blankets? Well, one thing leads to another, and Moni ends up snuggled in Maury’s well-chiseled arms. He stirs and she acts like it never happened. Then there’s this really pesky mosquito and Moni decides to kill it, but she ends up smacking Maury downtown. Well, how’s he going to fall asleep now? Moni will hum a “pleasant” tune…

Meanwhile, team Villain Lovers go to Maury’s house to tell the adopted brats that Daddy may never come back, and in their best interest, they will move them to another house where they will be safe and not a threat to Daddy’s millions.

Well, instead of sleeping our love birds decide to snuggle by the fire. They ask each other if they love their significant others right before they close-in for a kiss.

Tomorrow: The significant others are mad that their significant others spent the night together.

Labels:


Comments:
Oh gosh, what a difficult choice, cell phone or hunk, cell phone or hunk. Er...what's a cell phone?

I liked the way Monita ogled our undressing galan. She's such an imp, that girl. But hey, what's wrong with his bellybutton, aside from the fact that he doesn't have much of one?

Team Villain Lovers, I like it! I think that one might be a keeper. Nice job Nicolas, thanks for the laughs.
 

Mi'jo...you are way funny...but oh my, how cynical and world-weary already. Are you tellin' me you don't believe in trew lurve?

Well, anyway, have to admit I didn't notice Maury's belly button. I was too distracted by those pectorals. Trying to decide if there was silicone involved, a hormone imbalance or that's just what working out will do for a man. Anyway, I gave the matter much thought and could find no answer.

Menfolk...what gives with those?

You really made me laugh with your comparison of the cabins with the old Bible camp digs. I spent many a miserable summer in those! Girl scout camps in my day were the same.

Also thought your riff on Maury's lack of critical thinking skills...."clearly this is Mexico pre-bailout" was a hoot.

Always a treat.

I can switch with you if you can do Tuesday nights by the way.
 

Hah! Hah! You are a riot. I simply cannot find the time to watch two telenovelas but try to drop in on the recaps...
 

I've missed a few episodes so will have to catch up with the recaps. I couldn't resist reading yours now Nickster. You were on fire. You had me trying to stifle my laughter - gracias! Excellent job.

Loving the characters and really enjoying this. Sylvia, I totally agree. Who could blame Moni for staring? Err, not that I noticed, I was too busy looking myself :)

Diana in MA
 

Thanks for your recap Nick. I too loved your term Team Villain Lovers. It's so appropriate with Jerry and Connie.

You know its a comical novela when Beto is only questioned about the necklace and isn't in prison for weeks claiming his innocence.
 

Very funny, Nickster. Well, we now know that Mao can take a punch. I loved his reaction, "What did she hit me with?" Good to see that Moni has her right back. Gaby,had a great line saying that the Botox had paralyzed Connie's brain. Connie's sister is a cute kid. She sure quickly dissolved Aldo's tough guy facade.

Carlos
 

Oh yeah, I really missed seeing Ximena last night.

Carlos
 

Thanks everyone! I could have sworn they put makeup on his belly! Anywho, fear not, I believe in love, just not love on the race track/boxing ring--catch my drift? Maury's pectorals--I'd like to think I'm well on my way to having those babies! Actually, I have seen similar sets in person so I will go out on a ledge to say they're real. Except, I do know that at one point he was dying his chest hair, so maybe he's not all authentic. Ya' know what I'm talkin' 'bout?
 

Great recap, Nick! I loved your description of Moni as our dreamy-eyed, love-hungry boxette.

I might have misheard this, but didn't Katia (I think that was Connie's sister's name) say she used to have a guest room in that house. But wasn't that Maury's house?

I think Estrella figured out that it was Jerry, not Ricky, who gave the chain to Beto. But she hasn't told anyone.

Before we had cell phones, if we had car trouble, we'd knock on doors and ask to use the phone. Or use a pay phone. Apparently they have nice cabins, but no phones to go along with them.
 

Great recap. Who needs a cell phone?

Hmmm...my opinion is that the muscles are real, not just fantastic plastic, but may have been enhanced a bit with makeup. The abs are going to require more study, however, to identify the belly-button issue. Maybe a lot more study.
 

Hi Miss Julia...hopefully there will be further scenes tonight so that you and I can investigate this matter further. If not, we'll just have to study last night's tape!
 

Yes, Judy, let's hope they don't skimp on the skimpy scenes. The weather has turned cold here, so I rely on telenovelas as a heat source.
 

In that case, Julia, jump over to the MEPS line and read Bonney Churros recollection of the dance with Fernanda and Fr/Ed. I had to down a large iced drink after reading it.
 

Her description was as steamy as the scene itself.
 

I love how the telenovela gods opened the sky to pour buckets of rain on the lovers, soaking them. I love how they rented a cabin with one bed. And of course, in Novela Land, no one has cell phones, yet the lovers didn't even think of using the phone at the cabin rental office! I bet Moni didn't firgure that all of this would be in her job description as his assistant! I love this show and can't wait for the next episode! Moni and Mau are my favorite novela couple since, well...Jackie and Jamie in Tontas! Great recap.

PS. What was up with Constanza's sister's hair? It looked like the actress left the salon chair before they finished cutting her layers!
 

Dear Anonymous...I found that haircut a bit strange also...though I have seen it on a few others. The actress was a charmer, nonetheless. Her snotty boyfriend played a snotty rich guy on Guapos some time ago.

Not only was it just one bed, but a pretty narrow one at that. My parents slept in an old-fashioned double bed like that but I'd be divorced by now if it weren't for our king-size!
 

Anon...Monita, being the really good assistant that she is, maybe figured out that Mauricio didn't really want to go back. After all, he said, "It's too late; we'll have to find a place to spend the night" when it was still broad daylight and fine weather. It's the reading between the lines like that that separates the good assistants from the irreplaceable ones. Irreplaceable ones don't actually have to do anything right in terms of normal office procedures.
 

Julia--so true!
 

The novella is agonisingly looooong!

It's currently aired in my country (one episode post week) you can imagine how boring that makes it . . .

Yet! I finished the story by reading the recaps

And

I'm here to thank the contributors of this blog! Entertaining style of writing with eye opening insights!!!!

Thanks for freeing my days from following the novella once a week like one drop of rain at a time.

BTW I did the same with Podia Amar thanks for that too
 

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