Caray, Caray!

¡Viva Mexico! ¡Viva la independencia! Today we celebrate el Grito de Dolores, 199 years of Mexico's independence from Spain.

Big thanks to Gancho al Dedos who agreed to swap nights with me.

Yesterday:
Fernando de Lorenza...yum!! Suddenly Gabi grows hungry and agrees to meet him for dinner. Sal does not share her enthusiasm.

LeFort tells Mau he has info on Constanza but he wants to talk money first. Geez, this guy is putting the squeeze on everyone. It's a miracle he hasn't been bumped off yet. Instead of buckling like everyone else Mau threatens him to stay away from Coni and everything that is his. Got it? Le Fort finds his patas en la calle.

Friends, tonight was all action and no filler. But that's typical for this TN, no? Let's begin...

Over at the neighborhood Moni asks Beto what in the heck was he doing with Coni, in fact (she gags) he stinks of woman! Poor Beto must be an aroma sponge. No no, Moni is the only woman for him. Doesn't she miss him? They work together, live near each other, yet they are far apart. Sometimes Beto has the soul of a poet, a randy poet, but a poet nonetheless.

Mau bitches to Coni about that horror Le Fort and demands to know the secret. Coni whines that when he broke up with her she, er, contemplated suicide. Yeah, that's it, she felt lost and suicidal. But she knows better now "so let's not speak of it again, OK? I'm off to cook something yummy so we can eat together. " El Cuerpazo sin Cabeza believes this Crapola.

After Coni leaves Mau finds Moni's hankie on the floor and gets all moony-eyed.

Let's get back to some romance. We find Gabi and Fer in a cozy tête-à-tête at the restaurant. He complains a bit about people not taking his business seriously (do we know what he does yet?) and Gabi says Sal's not that bad but he's stubborn and has problems at home. Fer thinks maybe things might have gone better if he'd met with Mauricio and he even wore his lucky socks (los calcetines de la suerta). But he's philosophical, unlucky in business, lucky in love as they say. He talks about Gabi's fab mouth and closes in for a kiss...

But they are interrupted by a chipper Ximena, Hola Gabis! Gabi says kisses and chao, beat it! Ximena is confused, why say chao when she's just arrived? She wants to join Gabi and her guapetón. Fer is interested in Ximena's last name, is she related to Mau? Ximena's says she'll have what they're drinking. "Nothing at the moment," answers Fer. "Yes, that's what I'll have," says Xime, looking even more confused.

Aldo sulks in his room instead of joining the family for dinner. When Mau goes to find him Aldo admits it's because Mau has forbidden him to see Estrella. Blah blah, she's older, blah blah, but she's my friend. Aldo promises that he won't do "anything bad" with Estre so Mau relents. Something tells me that what Mau thinks is "bad" Aldo will define as "good".

Estre and Moni stuff their faces with pizza while Moni gives Estre the skinny about having merengue in her hair and taking a shower at Mau's place. Ooh la la!! Moni's phone rings and it's guess who? It's Mau and he can't sleep. Moni asks if the mummy is still at his place? No, she went home. (That's friggin' unbelievable. Coni is harder to get rid of than the rata that has recently discovered my attic!) Mau asks if Beto is with Moni? No, they're over! Then Moni reminds him about his "goodbye forever" kiss. Well, he DID mean it. She says from this day forward she will only tell the truth. And the truth right now is if she doesn't go to bed she'll be late for work and her odious boss will be mad. They bid a romantic farewell, Moni kisses her phone and Mau stares at his split-screen love.

Back at the restaurant Fer visits the little boys room and Gabi manages to get rid of Ximena with the promise of earrings just like hers. I can't believe Xime leaves without her bright green drink. Gabi tells Fer Xime felt sick and left, the kind of sickness that one gets in bed, get it? (Shame on you Gabi!!) Fer tells Gabi she's absolutely marvelous and Gabi says even though all the guys tell her that it's nice hearing it from him. Don't you just love her?

OK, we're already 20 minutes into this show and we haven't seen Luisa at school yet. The suspense is killing me.

Next morning at Grupo Sermeño (GS) Moni brings Mau his hot cappuchino made especially for him and el jefe is in a lot better mood today. For now. Mau gently scolds her about her habitual tardiness and tendency to escape from the office. If she keeps it up her coworkers will start to do the same. She admits she has a big problem with the hands of a clock (tengo grandes problemas con las manecillas del reloj, cute) and she loves going through doors, but she'll try.

Well, I asked for it. We're at the high school from hell and Luisa gingerly approaches the acned youth. (Honestly, this guy is a complete dweeb. What girl would give up hunkalicious Ivan for this kid? He looks like a Q-Tip!) He tells her he's been looking for her. Does she like him? Good because he likes her too and he wants to show her how much. "Shut your eyes," the little turd coaxes. Poor Luisa shuts her eyes and puckers up for her prince. Meanwhile the Heathers sneak up with a gigantic amphibian and instead of kissing her prince charming Luisa kisses the king of toads. She shrieks and runs away while the hideous Heathers and their bobble-head boy toys giggle like idiots. (Can you tell I have zero tolerance for school bullies?)

Pau finds Moni crying but this time they are tears of joy. The joy is short-lived however, because Luisa calls Moni and, sobbing, tells her what happened at school. Maira humiliated her in front of everyone. "Maira is the kid (la chamaca) from the other day?" asks Moni, steam coming out of her ears. She orders Luisa to wait at school for her. Moni calls Estre and tells her to listen up...

Grand mistake #1: Monita does not tell Mauricio what happened to HIS daughter.

Gabi approaches Mau about Fernando de la Rosa, an entrepeneur with a little business that might be of interest to Mau. Mau wants to pass him along to Sal but Gabi presses. Mau finally agrees to see the guy and he wants Gabi to send Moni to him. "Uh, she left with Paula," Gabi replies. "She escaped? She escaped?!" Mau demands.

Grand mistake #2: Monita escapes.

Monita, Estrella and Pau go to the school and force Maira to apologize, in Spanish, with tears and wringing of hands. Estre thinks maybe Moni was a bit hard on the escuincle. Moni says she's a criminal in the body of an escuincle. Moni tells a smiling Luisa that she can call her any time for help. The tres amigas clap their hands and depart arm-in-arm, their job is done.

Coni goes to GS and discovers that Mau is Mr. Cranky Pants. She doesn't believe he's fretting about work, "you're thinking about the monkey" she accuses. She tells him he's the president of the company and he should fire her. If he doesn't eradicate this mule from his life he is going to end up seriously damaged.

Surprise surprise, they are interrupted by a phone call from the school director. Mau is impactado, what does she mean Valentina threatened one of Luisa's classmates? Coni hisses in victory, "You see? You see?"

Sal is irate at Gabi for negotiating an interview between Fernando de la Rosa and Mau after Sal already rejected the guy. Gabi accuses him of being jealous just because Fer is a lot younger. "Fer? You called him Fer?" demands Sal. Gabi answers the phone and it's guess who? "Oh hi Fer," Gabi coos, tossing her hair flirtatiously.

Moni and Pau return all hyper and happy over their moral victory but the moment they get out of the elevator Gabi tells Moni to see el jefe ASAP. He is very mad about her leaving.

And now comes my favorite scene of the evening...
Estrella waits for Aldo on the lawn outside the classroom. She was going to a casting and happened to see him. No, that's a lie, she came to wait for him, they ended things badly last time and she wants to clear the air. He says it's no big deal, he understands if she doesn't like him. "No that's the problem, I like you too much," she admits. Finally, we get a full-on no-holds-barred kiss between these two! Aldo tells her he loves her. "What can I do, I'm in love with you too," she sighs. Aldo's happiness is palpable and our sweet couple enjoy another bliss kiss. Wow, Estrella smiles even when she kisses. I love that! I had to watch this scene at least three times.

We return to Mau's office where his mummy is talking to La Directora on the phone, "On behalf of MS and myself I beg a thousand pardons and we will do whatever is necessary." Coni bitches to Mau that it was amazing was happened, it seems Moni was a complete naca and beat up the kid. Mau can't believe it. "Oh believe it," says Coni, "it's what La Directora told me, and the kid ended up in the infirmary."

Moni enters the office and is impactada to see Coni in there with Mau. Instead of responding to Moni's comment however, he orders Sal to prepare Monita's final paycheck. Why? Because she's fired!

Looks like the commercial break wasn't long enough for anyone to cool off because they are all still breathing fire. "Why are you firing me?" demands Moni. Coni butts in and say it's because she beat up a 14 year old! Mau pipes up he knows she's a boxer but fighting with a minor? What was she thinking? Moni insists she didn't hit anyone. "Believe me, believe me, I didn't do it," she begs. But Mau's fired up, and he yells that her behavior has seriously jeapordized the adoption and he might lose his kids because of her. Sal suggests that he listen to Moni's explanation. Mau's too furious and says why bother, ever since he's known her all she does is whack people and lie. (Hmmm...the big dummy's got a point.) "Now get out of my company!" he commands.

Oh thank goodness, we're back with Aldo and Estrella who are still kissing and overcome by the mad rush of fresh love. (Sigh...remember when?) Estre promises him she's never felt like this about anyone. Aldo is on a slightly different tack, "what do we do now? Get a hotel?" Uh oh, our Estrella's been around a few corners and is instantly suspicious. She accuses the lovesick cub of wanting one thing and one thing only. She knows how the story goes because it's the story of her life, he only wants to get her in bed and then he'll leave her all alone like always! Aldo tries to back-pedal but it's too late. Estrella leaves in a snit and she sternly commands Aldo not to follow her. Dang, things happen fast in this show!

Moni packs up her things while Pau watches and worries that she, too, will get fired. Beto shows up and asks what did she do to get fired? He gets all macho and tells Pau that the old doll hair (Mau) will listen to him. Pau advises Beto to stay put or he'll get fired too. (Remember when Beto hated to work? Now he's worried about getting fired.)

Sal continues to plead Moni's case to Mau until Coni asks him can he not respect the president's decision? Then Sal asks what about Beto and Paul, are they going to decapitate them too? Nope, Mau doesn't want to fire anyone else because of Monita. (That's big of him, eh?) Gabi interrupts them to announce that Fernando de la Rosa has arrived. Sal starts to pop off again and Mau shuts him down to Coni's utter delight. In fact, when she leaves the room she is fairly jumping up and down in glee. Things are finally going her way.

Coni wastes no time in running to her cohorts Jero and Oski so she can brag that Monita is history. Jero comments that her talent for evil is truly admirable. Coni laughs she did nothing, Moni sunk herself. Jero corrects her, Monita fell into the water and Coni threw her a cement life ring and the poor thing ended up at the bottom of the sea. Si, si Coni sneers, and now what she needs to do is get Mau to marry her and the sooner the better.

Fer leaves Mau's office; he is all smiles and gives the thumbs up to Gabi. He calls her mi amor several times and, under the spying eyes of Oski and Sal, suggests they celebrate over dinner. Gabi agrees and after a couple of kisses they bid adieu. Gabi fans herself as Oski eyes her curiously.

Thankfully our Aldo has never been good at obeying orders. He is at Estrella's door pleading his case, she misunderstood him, everything was perfect, she said she was in love with him. "Then you invited me to a hotel!" she snipes, reminding him that men succumb to their natural urges. (Listen honey, you're with a hormonal youth. What in the heck did you expect? Sorry, I digress...) Aldo explains that he felt so many things he was about to explode. (I'll bet.) He just wants to be with her, to kiss her, to touch her, he wants her to be the last woman in his life. He's so gosh darn sincere that Estre can't resist giving him another kiss. Whew! All better.

They are interrupted by Monita who scolds her friend for being with the baby. I laughed out loud when Aldo tells her it's OK because Mau "gave him permission" to be with her. Estre knows something is up so Moni tells them she was just fired from GS, and in front of the mummy of all humiliations. Moni is on a tear and won't be happy until Aldo leaves, but it's OK because Estre will call him later. Moni tells Estre she'd better not even try to explain whatever idiocy she is doing. Did she say "tell it to the crazy fists"?

Join me in Mauricio's house of horror. Mau and Coni are on the attack and Luisa is on the receiving end. Mau wants to know why she asked Moni for help instead of calling him. Fair question. Coni butts in and starts screaming about the bad influence Monita is yada yada. (Translation = if you think I'm a harpy now just wait until we are married.) Luisa insists that Moni didn't hit anyone, it's all a lie. More shrieking from the mummified harpy until FINALLY Mau tells her to wait in his room.

Luisa tearfully explains to Mau she was interested in a guy. Maira made her believe he was interested in her too and she was stupid for believing it. Luisa cries in her papi's arms.

Now for the kookiest scene of the evening...Beto arrives home and tells Nieves that Monita wouldn't talk to him. Nieves gets on his case and tells him it's time to strike. He should take a bath with smelly soaps then console and seduce Monita. "If you don't want to lose her then fight for her!" she concludes. Oddly, Beto takes umbrage. I can't tell whether he offended that Nieves has suggested he "cuchiplanchar" with Monita or that he needs to bathe first before she will "cuchiplancha" with him. He sniffs his armpits, but Nieves tells him she was, ahem, thinking of the nether regions. (Hey folks, I don't write it, I just report it!) OK enough of this, let's just say that Nieves gets her way. Knowing her she scrubbed him herself.

Luisa insists Monita didn't hit Maira. In fact she gives him Maira's number and tells him to call her himself and ask her. (Do we think Maira will tell the truth? Nah!) Aldo bursts in the room demanding why Mau fired Moni. Luisa chimes in, "You fired her for defending me?" All hell breaks loose, the kids are mad, Mau and Aldo are back on the outs, and our galán can do nothing but furiously clench his well-chiseled jaw.

Well well, guess who used to be a Heather when she was in school? When Mau relates the story to her, Coni laughs and says she wishes she had a picture of Luisa kissing the toad. Thankfully Mau calls her cruel. Mau wants Luisa to change schools but of course Coni tries to talk him out of it. Oh naturally he wants to believe that Moni didn't hit the kid. No really, he says, and he shows her Maira's phone number. Coni decides she will call Maira's mom so that Mau can be with Luisa. He ACTUALLY THANKS HER and agrees it's a good idea. Que the hell?!? OK, he's stupider than Dr. Dumb from QE.

My friends, the plot becomes even more heinous...Coni immediately makes the call and greets her friend Coca who apparently is Maira's mother! Coni says it's horrible what happened and if she has her way Mau will never adopt those brats. So they'll end up in the street, so what? She says the witch who threatened Coca's daughter is a cat who is trying to steal Mau away from her. Now she needs a big favor from Coca. She pretended that the naca actually hit Maira and now Mau wants to talk to them. Oh, Coca, would you really do that for me? You're a love.

Gabi and Fer are in a restaurant complimenting each other profusely and happily celebrating Fer's success. Who should walk into the bar but the unlikely pair of Sal and Oski? Oh wait, they're not together. Sal asks Oski what he's doing there. "The same as you," says Oski, "wondering who is this Mr. Nobody who has stolen Gabi from me." Sal corrects him, Gabi is the love of HIS life.

While the two losers bicker Fer tells Gabi he can't believe what's happened to him, yada yada, eh??? Isn't that Salvador in the bar? Yes, Gabi says, and that's Oskar next to him, but she refuses to get involved or even look at them. Fer notes that they are having a rather heated discussion. We see them point and push each other. Sal tries to strangle then punch Oski. Oski punches back. Sal throws Oski around, Oski throws back. Fer and Gabi kiss and the losers fade to black.

Moni is in bed and recalls the day when she and Mau were in the period telenovela and they shared their passionate kiss, then the day when he asked her to marry him. She hears a knock on her door. Mauricio? Nope, not Mauricio, but instead a clean and no doubt completely sweet-smelling Beto.

Tomorrow: I hate Coni I hate Coni I hate Coni

Cuchiplanchar = To do the horizontal bop, to lay someone out like you're ironing them

Dicen que desafortunado en en los negocios, afortunado en amor = Unlucky in business, lucky in love, as they say.

Los calcetines de la suerte = lucky socks (this link has nothing to do with the telenovela, but it is the story of one of my heroes who believed in his lucky socks)

Tengo grandes problemas con las manecillas del reloj = I'm habitually late (Lit. I have big problems with the hands of the clock)

Labels: gancho